Seacoast Scene 10-25-18

OCT. 25 - NOV. 7, 2018

FRE E

MAP P. 12

A WORD FROM LARRY

Master McGrath’s

Fall events Welcome to our first bi-weekly edition of the Seacoast Scene! We’re featuring all kinds of upcoming events, including community activities, outdoor fun, nightlife and more.

Larry Marsolais Now, let’s talk Halloween! I love this time of the year and have to admit that I go a little overboard when it comes to decorating the yard. Whether you go all out or not, keep your light on for the trick-or-treaters.

A couple of events coming up: The Jingle Bell Fair, Saturday, Nov. 10, from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. at First Congregational Church, 127 Winnacunnet Road,

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Hampton. Shopping, music, laughter and good cheer! Stop by the Jingle Bell Fair for plenty of holiday fun and festivities for everyone! Call the church office at 9262837 for more information.

The 4th annual Dan Healy Veterans Matter 5K Run/Walk is being held Nov. 4 at 11 a.m. It starts and finishes at Dan’s monument at the Exeter Rec Area, 4 Hampton Road., Exeter, and is a certified 5K. Runners, walkers, virtual runners and volunteers who would like to participate can sign up by going to thedanhealyfoundation.org.

As always feel free to call me anytime at 603-935-5096 to discuss local issues or to place an ad.

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OCT. 25 - NOV. 7, 2018

Thursday Night Karaoke!

VOL 43 NO 33 Advertising Staff

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Larry Marsolais Seacoast Scene General Manager 603-935-5096 larry@seacoastscene.net

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Doug Ladd, 625-1855, Ext. 135 dladd@hippopress.com Have an event or a story idea for the Seacoast Scene? Let us know at: editor@seacoastscene.net

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www.MasterMcGraths.com SEACOAST SCENE | OCTOBER 25 - NOVEMBER 7, 2018 | PAGE 2

Contributors Rob Levey, Michael Witthaus, Andrew Clay, Alison Downs

Unsolicited submissions are not accepted and will not be returned or acknowledged.

Unsolicited submissions will be destroyed.

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COVER STORY 6 Have a haunted Halloween

MAPPED OUT 12 Beaches, restrooms, where to walk your dog and more

PEOPLE & PLACES 13 The coolest Seacoast dwellers and scenes

FOOD 18 Eateries and foodie events

POP CULTURE 22 Books, art, theater and classical

NITE LIFE 24 Music, comedy and more

BEACH BUM FUN 26 Puzzles, horoscopes and crazy news Your weekly guide to the coast.

Published every Thursday (1st copy free; 2nd $1).

Seacoast Scene PO Box 961 Hampton NH 03843 603-935-5096 | www.seacoastscene.net

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4 SHORE THINGS

EVENTS TO CHECK OUT OCTOBER 25 - NOVEMBER 7, 2018, AND BEYOND Best eats

The Hampton Area Chamber of Commerce hosts the eighth annual Best of TASTE Bash on Friday, Nov. 2, at the Hampton Beach Casino Ballroom, from 7 to 9:30 p.m. Enjoy food from 50 restaurants, paired with wines, craft beers and cocktails. The cost is $79 per person.

Digital drawing

Attend a free drawing workshop lead by artist Emily Kalina at the Lane Memorial Library in Hampton. Procreate is a powerful and intuitive digital illustration app available for iPad. Emily will be demonstrating basic techniques, the app interface and gestures. Registration required.

Contact the library at 926-3368.

NH Open Doors

Race time

Support the Great Bay Estuary by running in the The Wicked-Fast Great Bay 5K on Saturday, Oct. 27, starting at 9 a.m. at Stratham Hill Park (157 Portsmouth Ave., Stratham). There will also be a “competitive walker” division, a kids’ fun run, and age group awards and costume contests for the 5K and fun run. Visit greatbay5k. org. Enjoy a brisk run at the Trick or Trot 5K Race and Fun Run on Sunday, Oct. 28, starting at 9 a.m. at the Dover playing fields (1 Shaws Lane, Dover). Cash prizes and medals will be awarded to the top three female and male finishers. Search for “Trick or Trot 5K & Kids Fun Run” on Facebook. Try to qualify for the Boston Marathon with the Loco Half & Full Marathon on Sunday, Oct. 28, at 8 a.m. at Rockingham Ballroom (22 Ash Swamp Road, Newmarket). Visit locomarathon. com. And support veterans and their families with the Dan Healy Memorial 5K on Sunday, Nov. 4, at 11 a.m. starting at the Daniel R. Healy Outdoor Pool (4 Hampton Road, Exeter). Proceeds will benefit the Dan Healy Memorial Foundation. Search for “Dan Healy Memorial 5K” on Facebook.

Attend local vendors participating in NH Open Doors on Saturday, Nov. 3, and Sunday, Nov. 5. Visitors can connect with artists, craftsmen and business owners around the state at their studios and businesses; participants will offer tours, demos, refreshments, and beautiful art, craft, food, wine and more for sale.

Participating businesses, artists and craftsmen in the Seacoast include: Art Up Front Street in Exeter Barbara Smith McLaughlin in Stratham Bruce Jones Studio in Exeter Enna Chocolate – Bean to Bar Chocolate Factory in Epping (pictured) Herlihedrons in Rye Lori Martone Pottery in Exeter Waterstone Art Studio in Stratham

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n e e w o l l a

Have a hau n ted

H

By Rob Levey With Halloween just a week away, there’s all kinds of spooky — and not-sospooky — fun to be had. From haunted hikes and zombie walks to parades and trick-or-treating, the greater Seacoast area has something for everyone.

Adults only Halloween by the Sea Costume Ball

A brand new event, the Halloween by the Sea Costume Ball will take place at Blue Ocean Music Hall in Salisbury on Friday, Oct. 27.

Since it’s the first year for the ages-21and-up ball, event co-chair Kathy Aiello said she doesn’t know what sort of costumes they might see, but she expects “the outrageous.”

“The event is a bit like a theatrical production,” she said. “There will a live band

and a DJ alternating through the night. We want to appeal to everyone.”

The highlight of the night is the ball’s adult costume contest with $1,000 in cash prizes. First prize is $500 for best overall costume, second is $250 for most creative/ original, and third is $250 for best couple/ group costume.

“There will be other prizes for costumes — the scariest and prettiest, for example,” she said. “We are still coming up with categories.”

Other highlights of the evening include a special visit from the Salem Ghostbusters, complete with a reboot vehicle and costumed characters dressed as the paranormal investigators. There will even be psychic readings by Psychic Tatum (mini-readings for $20 per person).

“I’ve always trained myself to be focused and to get energy in the right

SEACOAST SCENE | OCTOBER 25 - NOVEMBER 7, 2018 | PAGE 6

places,” said Tatum, whose grandmother, Madam Jean, offered readings for nearly 50 years at a small booth on the Broadway Mall.

“There will also be a Halloween backdrop for people to pose for pictures and some local bartenders making a cocktail that will be served from a cauldron,” Aielli said. “It will be fun.”

The cost is $25. Visit blueoceanhall.com.

Night at the BooZeum

As part of its Throwback Thursday: Grownup Play Dates series, the Children’s Museum of New Hampshire in Dover spins its popular grownup play date concept for adults (21+) to create a night of “BOOzy fun” on Thursday, Oct. 25, from 7 to 9 p.m. The evening will feature specialty drinks, costumes, spooky science and more. Adults are encouraged

to wear costumes, too, although it is not a requirement.

“Even if you don’t come in costume, you’ll still get a chance to take a mummy wrap challenge, eat a doughnut on a string, or make some slime,” said museum Early Childhood & Literacy Coordinator Meredith Brustlin.

The event features a cash bar, refreshments and a chance to leave an impression in a giant pin screen, or play a tune on a wall-to-wall Music Matrix.

“Staff spend a long time decorating the museum for Halloween,” she said. “It’s a fun holiday and we all really get into the preparations. It’s great because we get to throw the kind of Halloween party we used to have as kids.”

Tickets are $10 in advance and $12 at the door. You must have a valid ID. Visit 7 childrens-museum.org.

Halloween Ball in Salisbury. Courtesy photo.

6

Zombie Walk

On Friday, Oct. 26, at 6 p.m. in Rochester, teens and adults are invited to this event that features individuals and participants from Studio 109, Corinne’s School of Dance, and Dance N Motion 2. Enjoy their choreographed performance as they make their way from Rochester Common to the Union Street parking lot. The teen and adult public is welcome to participate in the parade by dressing in zombie costumes and following the dancers.

Evil Dead The Musical

The show comes to the Rochester Opera House (32 N. Main St., Rochester) through Oct. 31, with showtimes on Friday at 7:30 p.m., Saturday at 2 and 7:30 p.m., and Sunday at 2 p.m., and Wednesday, Oct. 31, at 7:30 p.m. Tickets cost $20 to $26. Visit rochesteroperahouse.com.

Horror Tales and Halloween Scares

Millspace (55 Main St., Newmarket) hosts this event on Friday, Oct. 26, at 7 p.m. Horror authors will do a signing and share original scary stories set to live spooky music. There will be a cash bar.

Admission costs $7, or free if you arrive in costume. Visit millspace.org.

Night Terrors Haunted Woods Walk

Take Flight Aerial Adventure Park in Kittery hosts this walk Oct. 25 through Oct. 28 and again on Oct. 30 from 7 to 10 p.m.

Each night, local school and community groups volunteer to dress up in creepy costumes and terrify those who dare to walk through the haunted woods. Proceeds support their programs.

“We see the whole event as a community outreach to schools and other organizations,” said Sarah Derrick of Take Flight.

“Using something fun and scary, we can create a community event that provides a real benefit to student organizations at the same time.”

While attendees are mostly teenagers and young adults, Derrick said they occasionally see younger children come to the event.

“It is pretty scary, so we simply caution parents about how intense it can be,” she said. Admission is $15.

If you’d rather take a Zombie Zip Line Tour and see the haunted walk from above, the cost is $35. Visit takeflightadv.com.

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For the family Dover Zombie Walk

One event that is as much fun to watch as it is to participate in is the Dover Zombie Walk Saturday Oct. 27, 2 to 4:30 p.m., in downtown Dover.

Featuring costume contests and “jello brain eating contests,” the event is organized by Dover resident Mike Merrigan, who said this is the first year he is not joined by fellow organizer Larry Clow.

“Larry moved to the Midwest this year so it will be our first Dover Zombie Walk without him leading the way, but I still consider it very much our event,” he said.

As for the event itself, he referred to it as “family-friendly.”

“We have had grandparents bring infants before,” he said. “It can be a little spooky, though, so we do encourage parents with small kids to keep that in mind.”

Expecting around 100 “ghouls shuffling through the streets,” Merrigan said many participants come back year after year.

“We love seeing how creative their costumes get,” he said. “I definitely get in on the fun, too.”

Through the years, spectator crowds have also grown for the event, which he said makes participation more fun.

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7 “We do our best ‘undead’ shuffle’ from the Dover Chamber of Commerce through downtown to Adelle’s Coffeehouse on Hale Street,” he said. “That’s where we have the costume contests and brain eating contests. We also try and give out as many goodie bags to the kids as we can.”

As far as he knows, Dover Zombie Walk is the longest continuing zombie walk in the state.

“Others have popped up here and there, but we’ve been eating brains for 13 years now,” he laughed.

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Not-So-Spooky Spectacular at the Children’s Museum of New Hampshire. Courtesy photo.

Not-So-Spooky Spectacular

The Children’s Museum of New Hampshire will also host another popular event this Halloween season, one that focuses on kids.

The Not-So-Spooky Spectacular features family-friendly activities throughout the day on Saturday, Oct. 27, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.

“Not only can kids enjoy our traditional Wacky Scientist shows, but we’re also opening up our STEAM Innovation Lab to offer drop-in science exploration for kids that can’t quite sit through the longer science show,” said STEAM & School-aged Programs Coordinator Colie Haahr.

She said some of the things staff will explore with kids and adults are the differ-

ent ways “you can disappear ghosts in the STEAM Lab.” “The Wacky Scientist will be doing some of his favorite experiments, too, which could include anti-gravity in a jar, sink or float, giant gyroscope or screaming balloons,” she added.

The cost is $10 per person and free for kids under the age of 1. Visit childrensmuseum.org.

Downtown Trick-or-Treating

Also in Dover on Saturday, Oct. 27, trick-or-treating takes place at downtown merchants from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. 10

Night and day scares

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Enjoy rural scares with Haunted Overload at DeMeritt Hill Farm (20 Orchard Way, Lee). Attendees will encounter a variety of scares on a haunted trail that winds through a dense patch of wooded area. The normal nighttime haunted experience will be available on Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays through Sunday, Oct. 28. A matinee Day Haunt more suitable for younger kids is also available from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays through Sunday, Oct. 28. Attendees can walk through the haunted trails to check out the props and sets without any monsters. Friday Night Lite events, with lighting and sound effects but no monsters, will be held on Monday, Oct. 29. To close out the season, there will be a Glow Stick Night on Tuesday, Oct. 30, and a Blackout Night on Halloween. General admission costs $6 for the matinee, $12.50 for Blackout Night, $14 for Fright Night Lite, $16 for Glow Stick Night and $26 for regular nighttime entry. Attendees must select a half-hour time slot to arrive when purchasing tickets, ranging from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m. depending on the day. Visit hauntedoverload.com/base.htm.

Read more about the Haunted Overload experience on p. 14, as Andrew Clay checks out the scares for himself.

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Thriller group at the 2016 Portsmouth parade. Photo by David Early.

8 More than 600 children are expected, and the first 300 kids to check in will receive a free trick-or-treat bag. Check in at the Dover Main Street table in the Cocheco Mill Courtyard.

Visit dovermainstreet.org.

Portsmouth Halloween Parade

If you ask Jonathan Day, who refers to himself as “Minion and Zombie Wrangler” for the parade, Portsmouth is “the best Halloween town in the country.” Its parade, he said, is the

best example of this status.

“It is a grassroots movement that is funded by the community every year and anyone can participate,” he said. “My role as a Minion is planning and coordinating fundraising events and volunteers for the Portsmouth Halloween Parade. My role as Zombie Wrangler is lead instructor and social outreach for Portsmouth Thriller, who are the caboose of the Halloween Parade.”

Noting people have “never seen anything like it,” he said the parade is filled with activity. “[There are] literally thousands of peo-

ple in complex, creative costumes, spooky marching bands, stilt walkers, massive puppet monsters, and a horde of 70+ Thriller dancers,” he said.

Entering its 24th year, the Portsmouth Halloween Parade winds its way through downtown Portsmouth.

The parade takes place on Halloween, Wednesday, Oct. 31, 7 p.m., in downtown Portsmouth.

Visit portsmouthhalloweenparade.org.

Ghosts on the Banke

At this event, on Friday, Oct 26, and Saturday, Oct. 27, 5:30 to 8 p.m., you can meet the “ghosts on the Banke” at Strawbery Banke, as long-dead sea captains, 17th-century shopkeepers and wayward pirates haunt the streets of Portsmouth’s oldest neighborhood.

Highlights from this event include: Trick-or-Treat Safely: Jack-o’-lanterns light the way, as you meet the “Ghosts on the Banke,” discover pirate treasure, visit with the wacky witch, and look into the future with guidance from the gypsy fortune teller.

Catch a Ghostly Tale: Community members bring history back to life with spooky plays, skits, and interactive improvisations.

Light up the Night: Get warmed up by a fire.

Pickwick’s At the Banke: Decorated for Halloween with magic everywhere.

The cost is $8; children 1 and younger free. Visit strawberybanke.org.

Trick-or-Treat on the Town

At this festive event held in downtown Rochester on Friday, Oct. 26, from 4 to 6 p.m., costumed children, 10 years old and under, go door to door at local businesses for treats. Strolling entertainment will be present throughout downtown. Participants are asked to gather in the Union Street parking lot at 4 p.m. to pick up treat bags and maps that indicate participating businesses. Bags and maps will be available until 5 p.m. or until they are gone. Visit rochestermainstreet.org.

Halloween Haunt

Join the Newmarket Recreation Department for its annual Halloween Haunt on Saturday, Oct. 27, with frighteningly fun festive activities beginning at 2 p.m. at the Newmarket Community Center (1 Terrace Drive) like a costume contest, a hip-hop Halloween performance and more. Then from 4 to 6 p.m., trolley rides will be available to take attendees downtown for trick-or-treating with participating businesses. Visit newmarketrec.org.

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HEATHER CAMPBELL OWNER OF BENDING BODHI YOGA IN DOVER How many people work there?

Sixteen.

Is it challenging managing such a large staff?

Sometimes I find the administrative side of things a bit challenging, but I have the best staff ever. They are all so passionate about the practice and the community we have created here that they make it pretty easy on me. I adore them all.

How did you get into yoga?

I first got into yoga to help with my anxiety. I had developed a pretty severe panic disorder after suffering some trauma and was really struggling. When I finally got brave enough to enter my first class, it was an immediate love and connection.

Describe this connection, if you could.

I found that the practice of breathing and moving together was extremely soothing and calming for my mind as well as my body. I felt connected to myself in a way I hadn’t in a very long time. The more frequently I attended class the less anxiety and panic I felt. After a few months of a steady practice, I no longer needed assistance from medication and found that I could manage my symptoms with the tools I had acquired in my study of yoga and meditation. It has now been six years without a panic attack and I feel stronger then ever.

How can yoga enhance others’ lives?

The physical benefits of yoga are incredible but I have always found yoga to be so much more than that. I often say that yoga feels like a homecoming in a way. When I step on my mat and allow myself to slow down and listen, I can begin to come home to my body. I begin noticing what I’m holding onto and what my body is ready to let go of and I also become more attuned to where healing needs to happen. I also begin to come home to my breath, the life force and anchor that I think we often take for granted in our day-to-day lives.

Can you describe this breath component a little more?

The breath work is an amazing tool for aiding in anxiety, depression and stress.

It teaches us to come home to the present moment for a while so we can focus on ourselves and what we need in that moment instead of worrying about the past or the future. Life can be hectic and extremely challenging at times for all of us and I find this opportunity to slow down and tune in is incredibly beneficial. I get to know myself better on a higher level, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, which I have found hugely helpful for growth and healing.

Ultimately, what is yoga all about?

Yoga is about connection, connection to our bodies and our breath, connection to our inner landscape, and connection to the world we create around us. The more connected we are the more we grow. The more we grow the more we heal. The more we heal the more we can help heal the world around us. That’s what yoga is to me.

Are you from New Hampshire originally?

I was born and raised in Littleton, New Hampshire, just beyond Franconia Notch in the mountains. It is a small town and was a great place to grow up. I also spent a large portion of my life living in County Mayo in Ireland. My mother is Irish and I was lucky enough to get to experience life over there too. I moved back to the States in 2007.

What do you love about Dover? What brought you to Dover?

I landed in Dover when I moved back to the States in 2007. I had a friend who lived here that I came to visit and I never left. I

fell in love with the quaintness of Dover and the community I had met here. Since opening my studio, I have only fallen more in love. The people here are so welcoming and wonderful. It has really become a home for me. Everything I need is right here.

Do you get a lot of tourists in the summer or mostly locals?

Summer is actually our quietest time. It’s hard to compete with the beach and all the outdoor activities that can be enjoyed on the Seacoast in the summertime. We do get tourists throughout the year that drop in, but we are very much a community of locals.

What do you do for fun? Any favorite hobbies or favorite spots for recreation?

I love to be outdoors. In the summer I love to go kayaking or paddleboarding.

And in the winter I love to snowboard. I am also a big foodie so I love to cook for people. Having dinner parties is one of my favorite things to do!

Ten years from now-where do you see yourself?

In 10 years, I see myself still in Dover and still doing what I love at Bending Bodhi. I see the studio and the community growing and the benefits of yoga reaching more and more people as time goes on. I see my daughter becoming a beautiful and kind 18-year-old woman heading off to take on the world and do as much good as she can. I see myself and my partner Chris living in our quiet farmhouse with all our animals, traveling and doing as much yoga as possible. The future looks pretty bright and beautiful from where I’m standing.

— Rob Levey

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SEACOAST SCENE | OCTOBER 25 - NOVEMBER 7, 2018 | PAGE 13

ADVENTURE

Andrew’s

Adventure Haunted Overload

S

ea c

Where I went: I traveled a couple miles inland to Lee to enjoy Haunted Overload at DeMeritt Hill Farm, 20 Orchard Way, Lee (hauntedoverload.com/base.htm).

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Fabulous Items Arriving Daily !!!

What it is: Haunted Overload is an evergrowing horror tour that takes over DeMeritt Hill Farm every October in an attempt to scare and entertain as many guest as possible in its few short weeks of operation. Twice voted as being one of the top 13 haunted attractions in the country, it brings thrill seekers and horror enthusiasts from all around New England and the country to this otherwise small corner of the state just a couple of miles down the road from the main campus of the University of New Hampshire.

There are three levels of fear to choose from while spending the day at the farm.

The Day Walk allows guests to wander the path without the actors or sounds set to scare and is available Friday, Saturday and Sunday from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. for $6. The second tier of terror is their Friday Night Lite exhibit, which sees that the sights and sounds are up to par, but the actors and monsters are taking the day off. The remaining date for the Friday Night Lite selection is Monday, Oct. 29, from 7 to 8:30 p.m. and will cost $14. These two options allow for those who are more faint of heart to stop by and enjoy the amazing craftsmanship of the exhibit without the scares. The third level is the award-winning, full-blown Haunted Overload display with sights, sounds and monsters lurking around every corner, which will cost $26 per person.

What I did: I love horror. Every October brings me the joy of being able to sit down and flip through the channels and bingewatch scary movies to my heart’s content, so

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SEACOAST SCENE | OCTOBER 25 - NOVEMBER 7, 2018 | PAGE 14

having the opportunity to explore first-hand what it might be like to be at the front and center of one of my favorite types of movies really piqued my interest. That being said, I wound up opting for the Day Walk option. I did this for a couple of reasons, but the main reason was that I wanted to sample the tour before diving in on the main event.

Little did I know, the day that I chose to partake in this experience happened to be their annual trick-or-treating day, so my experience was partially tainted by families and children running through the winding maze of horror and digging into goody baskets while getting all hopped up on candy.

(That being said, I might have partaken in the offerings as well.)

Choosing the day walk in terms of checking out the haunts was the perfect experience that allowed me to take in the full spectacle of the Haunted Overload.

Without the anticipation of a monster hiding around the corner, I was free to enjoy the master craftsmanship before me and truly evaluate this haunted walk.

Without giving away too much and ruining the experience for interested readers, I will say I was fascinated and completely drawn in to the experience before me, despite the lack of horror that can be found through the nighttime experience. As I wandered the woods traveling from one themed segment to another, I was sucked in by unbelievably realistic and brutally disfigured props and sets around me. From a haunted house to a crooked carnival, a mummy room and more, I was struck by an unrelenting sense of anxiety and anticipation that, despite my knowing that there were no actors ready and waiting, still left an uneasy feeling in my stomach that left me thinking that something was going to jump out at me sooner or later. This, of course, never happened, but it left me ready to go back again for the full nighttime experience later this month before it is closed down for the season on the first of November.

Who else would enjoy this? The Day Walk is the perfect option for younger children who are able to comprehend the fact that the bodies and skeletons, blood and gore scattered throughout the walk are nothing more than props intended to entertain and scare. Braver souls can venture into the self-guided tour at night. Personally, I can not wait to return for the full experience, but I would not recommend this adventure for young children or anyone not looking to be pushed to their limits.

I would advise interested guests to read the lore before venturing into the experience; it can be found on the Haunted Overload website and really help to set the scene.

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CAR TALK

‘Fake’ gears create confusion for Civic hatchback driver Dear Car Talk: The automatic transmission in my 2018 Honda Civic hatchback doesn’t slow me down if I shift down to second gear.

I want to use it for

By Ray Magliozzi going down hills, but it doesn’t seem to hold the speed down like my old ‘05 Civic did. Is the new transmission not made to do that? — Kevin Your new Civic has a totally different type of transmission, Kevin. The 2018 Civic comes with a continuously variable transmission (CVT) that has no actual gears. It’s designed with a steel mesh belt that slides up and down two metal cones to find the best possible gear ratio at any given moment (you can find some good videos of how this thing works on YouTube). That maximizes fuel economy.

You’ve probably noticed that sometimes, when you accelerate, the engine speed goes up at first, then slowly comes down, even as the car goes faster. That’s the CVT adjusting as you need less power. But because people have been driving “fixed gear” automatic transmissions

since the Truman administration, lots of manufacturers use the transmission computer in the CVT to create “fake” gears.

Some Civics with CVTs even come with paddle shifters that — when you toggle them — take the CVT to six or seven preset ratios to mimic the feel of an older car.

Based on this thinking, Kevin, you can expect your future electric car to play a recording of your 1978 Cutlass from a phony tailpipe. Anyway, when you move the shift lever to “L” (into what you think is “second gear”), you’re just moving the CVT to a preset ratio that Honda selected. And it’s probably a different ratio from the actual second gear in your 2005 Honda.

If you have paddle shifters on your new Civic, you can obviously drop down to the next lowest preset ratio, which will provide more engine braking. But if your only choices are “drive” and “low,” you’ll have to accept the gear ratio that Honda has deemed you worthy of, and supplement with your brakes.

Dear Car Talk: I have a steering problem with my 2015 Ford Fusion. I’ve had the alignment checked. I got new tires. I had a

SEACOAST SCENE | OCTOBER 25 - NOVEMBER 7, 2018 | PAGE 16

Ford dealership look it over, and they said the front end is nice and tight (all they did was tell me to get the new tires).

My problem: The car darts to the left or right on its own.

I continuously have to correct for these changes in direction. It happens on any kind of pavement, but more so on uneven pavement. If I start to steer into a curve, the car wants to steer tighter into the curve by itself. I ease up, re-engage the curve, and the car does it again. Very weird. Any thoughts? — Rick Well, there’s been no shortage of steering complaints about this car. There was a problem where the steering wheel fastener would come loose and cause the steering wheel to come loose and even come off in your hands. How’s that for a little wake-me-up?

So I would certainly ask your dealer to check for that specific problem. If the steering wheel in your hands is not bolted tightly to the wheels, that could produce the abrupt changes in direction you describe. Although you’d experience it continuously. All the time.

There also was a recall to fix the steering gear motor’s mounting bolts, which tended to corrode, leading to a loss of

power steering. If you came into our shop and complained about this problem, after I verified that your tires weren’t severely overinflated, the next thing I’d suspect would be an alignment issue.

If you hit a big pothole or curbstone, and bent a tie-rod end, or a strut (or if your 16-year-old nephew did when you lent him the car), you could knock your caster off, which definitely would cause squirrely handling. But you say you’ve had the alignment checked. And a caster problem, if you have one, should have turned up. So the next step is to convince the dealer to take your complaint more seriously.

If you can find a road in the general vicinity of the dealership where the car will reliably misbehave, take the service manager for a ride. Have him drive and experience the problem. Once he experiences the problem himself, and sees his own life and pleasure boat flash before his eyes, I think he’ll be more open to looking harder for the cause.

If he’s at a loss, suggest that the steering rack is the next thing to investigate.

Good luck, Rick Visit Cartalk.com.

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FOOD

AT APPLECREST FARM BISTRO Don’t be fooled by the name — Applecrest Farm Bistro (133 Exeter Road, Hampton Falls) offers much more than just apples.

The farm-to-table restaurant’s menu is rich with a variety of fruits and vegetables, from asparagus to zucchini, picked fresh from their fields. We sat down with Dana Wagner, daughter of Applecrest Farm Bistro president and owner Peter Wagner, to discuss family recipes and special events.

How long has Applecrest Farm Bistro been around?

[We] opened to the public in May of 2015. [My father] had never been in the restaurant business or had any interest in running a restaurant, to be quite honest, but there wasn’t anything in town that was like a local coffee shop. His idea was to create something where the town could come together, have coffee, maybe [a] light breakfast, lunch, sandwiches, that type of thing, more like a café. Then it just grew into a totally different beast. He was never planning on doing dinner, and dinner is [now] one of our more popular services, as is Sunday brunch. It totally exploded, in a good way.

What makes Applecrest Farm Bistro unique?

It’s about as farm-to-table as you can get. There are days where you’ll see the guys coming out of the field with baskets of whatever they’ve harvested. [They]

bring [the harvest] right to the kitchen, and the chef has to figure out what he’s going to make with it, which is kind of cool. In season, everything is super fresh, hand-picked, comes right form our fields outside the bistro. The other thing that I think is pretty unique is what my dad calls the “pastoral setting” — the views when you’re sitting out on the patio are unmatched anywhere in the Seacoast.

We try to do some special events during the slower season, like beer dinners and wine dinners, just to drum up a different crowd and keep thing interesting. We are doing special events where you can buy out the restaurant, for weddings, rehearsal dinners — we did a fundraiser last summer. It’s a program that’s still small and new for us, but we’re working on building it. The number of requests we get are immense, because it’s such a beautiful spot and the food is so good. We’re just trying to figure out how to make it work for everybody.

SEACOAST SCENE | OCTOBER 25 - NOVEMBER 7, 2018 | PAGE 18

Photos courtesy of Dana Wagner

What is your personal favorite dish?

[My dad’s] favorite dish would be the meatloaf. It’s been on the menu since the day we’ve opened, it’s his mother’s recipe, Mother Wagner, and it’s just a classic he grew up with, and he loves it.

I think our chef did a few tweaks here and to make it “his,” but it’s pretty darn good.

What is a dish everyone should try?

The Bistro burger. Everyone who has it loves it. It’s a burger, it’s nothing too crazy special, but the meat that we use is top-notch and all the ingredients accompanying it are super fresh, and you can just taste the difference. The way they do it is just phenomenal.

What is an essential skill to running a restaurant?

Putting guest service first, above all else. …

That sort of goes across farm, for us. We’re always striving to make sure — whether they’re shopping at the market, at the bistro, or out picking apples — that [our customers] are having the best experience possible and that we do everything we can to ensure that.

I think for my dad, a lot of what he brings to it is his instincts and his gut feelings, that he trusts enormously. They always seem to work.

What is your favorite part of being on the Seacoast?

[My dad] got really hokey and said, “[My] apple orchard.”

— Alison Downs

FOOD

All about the pizza

Sweet and savory slices at PizzaFest Join the Children’s Museum of New Hampshire for an all-you-can-eat pizza party Saturday, Nov. 3, from 5 to 7 p.m. where half a dozen local pizzerias will be serving up some of their signature pies — plus a few unique off-menu varieties.

Kendall Pond, Papa Jay’s, La Festa, Dover House of Pizza, Strafford House of Pizza and Thirsty Moose will be in attendance dishing out the three categories of cheese, on-menu, and off-menu creative creations. Guests are asked to cast their votes for the night’s favorite samples along with a panel of local judges to award the best and most creative pizzas of the year.

The museum has been in Dover for 10 years; PizzaFest has been an annual tradition for nine of those years.

“The museum, for regular operating hours, will close down at 4 p.m. that day and then the doors open back up at 5 p.m. for the PizzaFest so it is an event on its own.

It really is just about the pizza,” said Carolyn Hogan, development coordinator of the New Hampshire Children’s Museum. “We open it to anyone and everyone so whether you’re local or just visiting the area we hope to see a huge variation in ages and families, and everything across the board.”

Hogan said that she looks forward to the creativity behind the various submissions of the out-of-the-box category pizzas.

“We try and spread the wealth and get creative with some of the awards that we give out as well,” she said. “In the past we’ve had Thanksgiving pizzas with cranberry and turkey and stuffing on it, we’ve had mac and cheese, Big Mac’s Pizza has done an apple pie pizza a couple of years ago — so they can really get as creative as they want on that out-of-the-box category. The restaurants often don’t tell us until right before the event starts, and even then it is hard getting them to let it out because they don’t want to give away their secret recipes.”

Guests are invited to walk the halls of the museum where different booths will be set up and offering their various types of pizzas along with emceed musical entertainment.

“It’s a really family-friendly event, and who doesn’t like pizza?” Hogan said.

“Kids, adults — it’s a go-to for lots of families. They can come in and dinner is done for them on a Saturday night.”

PizzaFest also represents the start of the Children Museum’s online auction, which will run from Saturday, Nov. 3, beginning at 9 a.m. through Sunday, Nov. 11, at 9 p.m.

It can be found at biddingforgood.com/

Come as a Stranger Leave as a Friend! cmnhPizzaFest. A raffle will also be held during PizzaFest.

“All of the bidding proceeds from BiddingForGood as well as the raffle all go to the museum as general funding. This is our 35th anniversary so we are doing a lot of exciting things this year. We are doing an expansion project so that all comes back to the museum as an additional fundraiser on top of the ticket price for PizzaFest,” said Hogan. “We are going to have everything from local restaurant gift certificates, there are some overnight stays in there at different places throughout New Hampshire, passes to other museums, those are just some of the things that people can bid on.”

Tickets to this year’s PizzaFest can be purchased online at the museum’s website until noon on Friday, Nov. 2, and are $10 per adult and $7 for ages 3 to 10. Tickets may be purchased at the door for $12 per adult and $9 for ages 3 to 10.

Children under the age of 3 get in free.

“It really is a great family-friendly event, it’s low-key, it’s from 5 to 7 so you can come on down, take as many different pizza flavors as you would like and just have a nice, easy dinner night,” said Hogan. “It’s always great to see all of the different entries that the different restaurants come up with and the creativity behind them is really something that blows everyone away every year.”

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It’s my favorite time of year to cook. Not because of the time commitment, as things are entirely crazy in my house during the fall, but because of the available produce.

The root vegetables are still in full swing around here and the weather is perfect for roasting. Since my house is crazy around now, I make a point to cook as many onedish meals as I can. It makes cleanup and prep so much easier and works quite well with all of the amazing vegetables available.

Most vegetables taste great roasted, in my opinion. The key is finding the right combo and seasoning. We tend to keep things pretty simple in the flavor department, as otherwise I will have some very unhappy kiddos. Be sure to add your own twist to your fall roasting pan with sage, rosemary and thyme.

In my last column, I wrote about roasting different kinds of squash. From Delicata to

Acorn, you can’t go wrong. This week, I want to encourage you to roast carrots, potatoes and other root vegetables. You could easily cook a whole chicken in your Instant Pot or slow cooker and then prepare these root vegetables as a side. Minimal effort and fairly simple cleanup = winning at dinner.

I’m happy to tell you that I’ve discovered a new way of roasting vegetables that makes them taste amazing and makes me feel like a professional. While I’m not sure of the proper name, Bon Appetit Magazine’s website called it “hard roasting.” It was incredibly intimidating to try as you put the sheet pan with your vegetables on the oven floor (!) and roast for a short period at a pretty high temperature. I went out of my comfort zone and as I sit here snacking on roasted vegetables, I’m pretty happy about it. Enjoy my recipe below and good luck.

— Allison Willson Dudas

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Hard Roasted Vegetables Adapted from the “Basically” blog from Bon Appetit Assorted root vegetables (carrots, sweet potatoes, white potatoes, beets, etc.)

Olive oil Seasoning (you can try anything you like here from garlic to a seasoning blend you like)

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Preheat oven to 450 degrees and line a sheet pan with parchment paper (it will get a little charred but won’t stick to the vegetables like aluminum foil).

Chop and peel (as needed) vegetables. I rec-

ommend chopping vegetables into small pieces (about 1/2 to 3/4 inch thick) but consistency is key.

Generously coat vegetables in olive oil and seasoning of choice. Seriously, don’t be stingy.

Place sheet into oven and put on the oven floor. Yes, you read that right. This floor provides the hottest and most even heat.

Roast for 10 minutes, stir and roast for another five. Enjoy crispy, charred edges on your vegetables!

DRINK

Go back to your roots Track down your old favorites

Country Pale Ale by Wachusett Brewing Co.: Underrated, simple, flavorful and satisfying. This is my all-around go-to beer, as it works in every situation — at least every situation I’ve encountered thus far.

All Day IPA by Founders Brewing Co.: This is the quintessential session IPA. It doesn’t have the bite or the body of a big hop bomb, but it’s got just enough hops and just enough flavor to beg for another sip.

Pale Ale by Sierra Nevada: Funny, I remember trying this in college and I’m What’s in My Fridge Pemi Pale Ale by Woodstock Inn Brewery: I had a couple of these recently as I slapped a coat of stain on the swingset.

Bright, mildly hoppy and easy to drink.

This was an excellent choice to get me through this project. The swingset looks great, by the way. Cheers!

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sure I made the bitter beer face. I was just a kid. This is the classic pale ale. You cannot go wrong with this.

Oatmeal Stout by Samuel Smith’s Brewery: Rich, smooth and silky with a little bitterness — perfect for when you crave the richness of a stout.

Jeff Mucciarone is a senior account executive with Montagne Communications, where he provides communications support to the New Hampshire wine and spirits industry.

Dogs, Halloween and beer Smuttynose Brewing Co. is hosting a Halloween dog costume party to benefit Cocheco Valley Humane Society. First, I think the brewery should take a bow for its clever name: Mutt-ster Mash. I’m impressed. The event takes place Oct. 28 from 1 to 5 p.m. at Smuttynose, 105 Towle Farm Road in Hampton, and features a variety of doggy activities, including bobbing for apples, a haunted agility course, a hay bale climb and a costume competition for people and their dogs. My Dog’s Mind will also be “wowing” guests with tricks and training demonstrations. Admission is free.

Local businesses CocoChew and Sit Stay Smile Pet Photography will be donating 50 percent of their profits from the event to Cocheco Valley Humane Society. For every beer sold, Smuttynose will also donate $1 to Cocheco Valley Humane Society.

Big Rig BBQ truck will be serving barbecue and Smuttlabs, Smuttynose’s innovation brewery, will offer its latest release, Chupa Mexican Stout. “This is a deep chocolatey stout brewed with vanilla, cinnamon and ghost pepper for an added kick,” according to the brewery. Smuttynose will also be serving its Pumpkin Ale, Vunderbar Pilsner and Old Brown Dog Ale. It’s for the dogs.

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Remember when a beer was just a beer?

It was a glorious time before IBUs when you didn’t have to worry about how many times a brew was dry-hopped or what combination of hop strains was used. You would just drink the beer and you’d enjoy it and you might not even think much about it. All beer was good — or at least better than no beer.

I started thinking about those days as I perused aisles and aisles of wonderful craft brews at my local beer store recently. I spent far more time than I’d care to admit walking back and forth, reaching into the cooler to retrieve a six-pack or a four-pack, only to think better of it. I was overwhelmed. I needed beer but I needed to get out of there.

To combat my confusion, I grabbed a 12-pack of my personal standby, Harpoon IPA. Its familiar packaging gave me comfort. Its familiar hoppy bitterness pleased my palate without overwhelming it. I could just drink this beer and enjoy it without analyzing it.

I want to check out as many craft breweries as I can and I want to sample as many different styles of IPA and saison and sours and stouts as my tastebuds can handle. But sometimes you have to opt for old standbys, beers that are completely and entirely solid, if not otherwise remarkable. My old standbys form the foundation of my appreciation for beer. They’re tasty, predictable and enjoyable without being too extreme in any way.

Aside from Harpoon IPA, here are a few brews that I turn to when the craft beer store is just too much for me:

B R OW N S

SEACOAST SCENE | OCTOBER 25 - NOVEMBER 7, 2018 | PAGE 21

POP CULTURE Heartland, by Sarah Smarsh (Scribner, 290 pages)

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Sarah Smarsh says her life has been a bridge between two places: a hardscrabble childhood on the Kansas plains, and the privileged adulthood enjoyed by attractive, educated, white women with good jobs.

“Stretching your arms that far can be painful,” she writes in Heartland, a memoir about “working hard and being broke in the richest country on Earth.” It’s an indictment of income inequality, and also of the myriad cultural distinctions that separate the classes in a nation that believes its classes don’t exist.

A child of a wheat farmer and a teenage mother, Smarsh was part of what’s now known as the white working class, a population that she says is “willfully ignored,” its geography dismissed as “flyover country,” the home of people who don’t much matter to elites on the coasts.

“Wealthy white people, in particular, seemed to want to distance themselves from our place and our truth,” Smarsh writes. “Our struggles forced a question about America that many were not willing to face: If a person could go to work every day and still not be able to pay the bills and the reason wasn’t racism, what less articulated problem was afoot?”

Here is where denizens of talk shows dissolve into finger-pointing histrionics, and in descriptions of her extended family, Smarsh feeds that ravenous maw with candor. For starters, all the women who helped raise her had given birth in their teens; they smoked like chimneys, drank like sieves and cussed like sailors. They needed to: Most had abusive fathers, husbands or exes.

The women worked long hours at hard jobs; one of Smarsh’s grandmothers drilled screws into wood at a factory all day, then worked at a deli during the evening. After paying rent, utilities and child care, she had $27 left for gas, groceries and cigarettes.

For a while, her everyday sustenance was a candy bar for a lunch, and for dinner a frozen pot pie (five for a dollar).

Compared to her mother’s, Smarsh’s childhood was better. Her parents were married in a Catholic church — Jeannie at 17, Nick at 24 — and although Smarsh was an unexpected child, she grew up loved, if not by her unhappy mother, by her grandmothers and oft-absent dad.

In this way, there was a stability of love in her life, even as the family’s fortunes (such as they were) changed with the prairie wind.

That, it seems, is the defining characteristic of poor Kansas farmers — they have money for a while, then they don’t. At one point, Smarsh writes of having a cocker spaniel, Flintstone vitamins and a canopy bed.

A page later, she’s in another house, sharing a bed with her parents. At one point, the family is scratching like chickens in the sand for food to eat; Smarsh carries a paper bag to school while other children have fancy backpacks. But soon, they’re reaping a couple of thousand dollars in one evening when Smarsh’s father has the idea to set up a fireworks stand.

It’s the lack of money that shapes her family members’ lives, as evidenced by old letters she found in which money, or hardships from the lack of it, comprise most of the news: “Oh the car blowed out…. We don’t drive it all. We moved again now we have three bedroom apartment. $35.00 a week, it’s a hell of a lot better.”

The subtitle of the book — “being broke in the richest country on Earth” — suggests that the country itself is to blame, as if living in a rich country entitles its citizens to wealth. Not everyone believes that, and it’s unclear whether Smarsh does. But, she writes, the American Dream has a price tag attached, and the cost changes “depending on where you’re born and to whom, with what color skin and with how much money [is] in your parents’ bank account.”

Smarsh’s own escape from her family’s cycle of poverty seems to undercut the premise of a ruthless system in which hard workers get trapped. She got out because she willed it — she was conscious of the mess and determined to escape it, and not to introduce another child into the cycle.

This leads us to the peculiar construction of the book, which is written as a story told to a child that Smarsh has not had.

She names the child “August,” a name that conveys dignity and respect (and, coincidentally, a month of solvency for wheat farmers), and addresses the child at random places in the narrative. While the ending helps justify the construction, it’s mostly an irritant, the equivalent of listening in on a long conversation intended for someone else.

While this is ostensibly a book about poverty, it’s also a memoir about growing up on a farm, a lifestyle that, regardless of one’s profits, is physically and emotionally demanding, often dangerous, tedious and exhilarating in equal parts. Smarsh writes of being pulled on a hayrack around Halloween (accompanied by the ubiquitous “beer-sloshed” adults), of being dragged on a sled by a tractor in winter, noting that well-heeled suburbanites pay for these kinds of activities now.

It’s a testament to her skills as a writer that Smarsh makes working hard and being broke in the richest country on Earth something that doesn’t sound so bad after all.

B —Jennifer Graham

PEOPLE AND PLACES

Art on the edge

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Wednesday-Sunday 10am-6pm Located across the Hampton Bridge going into Seabrook/right side of the street 117549

Art by Bad Tree Fine Arts co-owner Michael Valotto, featured in the gallery. Courtesy photo.

Bad Tree is a place not only for visual arts, but also for performance arts and community events.

“Maybe, one night, there’s a small acoustic concert, or a charity event, or an art soiree,” Valotto said. “We don’t want this to be solely an art gallery. We want it to be a place for the community, where people can come together.”

Additionally, there are monthly art workshops open to the public, lead by artists whose work is featured in the gallery that month.

“We don’t believe in the secrecy of art.

We like to teach people about art rather than keep all the secrets for ourselves,” Valotto said. “It’s cool that you can come to the gallery and learn from the individuals who created the art that you’re looking at.”

— Angie Sykeny Bad Tree Fine Arts Address: 102 Main St., Newmarket Hours: Wednesday through Saturday, 5 to 9 p.m., and Sunday, 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.

Contact: badtreefinearts.com, 292-5438

Seabrook Beach, NH

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Four years ago, Michael Valotto started painting every night as a way to decompress after a busy day of school and work.

When he decided it was time to start sharing his art with the world, he was disappointed to find that there were few outlets for his abstract, contemporary style.

“I showed at coffee shops as much as I could, but you really need to be in some sort of gallery to establish yourself,” he said. “I looked, and there was just nothing there.”

Now a senior studying journalism at the University of New Hampshire, Valotto has finally found a place to show his work and the work of other artists who share his struggle. Earlier this month, he and his business partner, Lauren Moore, opened Bad Tree Fine Arts in downtown Newmarket, an art gallery that they hope will be “a catalyst for a renaissance of art” on the Seacoast, he said.

“We’re a New York-style gallery. We’re unconventional. We’re not about seagulls and sailboats. Our art has an edge to it, and I think the Seacoast is ready for that,” he said. “We want to be that entity that disrupts the established arts market here on the Seacoast.”

A membership gallery, Bad Tree is open to artists and artisans of any medium. The 600-square-foot can fit work by around nine 2-dimensional artists, plus another five or so artisans working with metal, pottery, jewelry and other crafts, Valotto said.

It currently features the work of four members: Jim Brown, a furniture maker from southern Maine who uses old and new materials to create one-of-a-kind pieces; Kyle Stockford, an experimental painter from Massachusetts who has been invited to create paintings for the INside Out Art Museum in Beijing, China; Alonzo Clarke, a Newmarket-based watercolor painter who depicts scenes from his travels and observations of daily life; and Valotto, an abstract painter who works primarily with oils.

“My art is a representation of myself,” he said. “Lately, I’ve been taking a step back to take a more minimal, clean and focused approach to the way I paint, and I think that’s how my life has gone. It’s not chaos anymore. It’s more of a direct narrative at this point.”

Valotto said he hopes to also invite UNH students and faculty to independently showcase their work at the gallery.

“We represent the underdog, the little guy who’s overlooked, the younger artists, and the older artists who haven’t found a place to show their work,” Valotto said.

“There is no right or wrong to what we can take on. We just want people [for whom] art is their passion.”

SEACOAST SCENE | OCTOBER 25 - NOVEMBER 7, 2018 | PAGE 23

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SEACOAST SCENE 737066-01.indd 1 | OCTOBER 25 - NOVEMBER 7, 2018 | PAGE 24

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8/14/14 10:47 AM

In 1972, Spinal Tarp was a long way from “Listen To What The Flower People Say,” the song that poured from car radios all through the Summer of Love. The band’s five members — David St. Hubbins, Nigel Tufnel, Derek Smalls, some organist and whoever was on drums — entered London’s Trident Studios determined to make an album for the ages, called Tarp Side of the Moon.

What happened instead, according to Smalls, was a crime against rock ’n’ roll.

St. Hubbins and Tufnel clashed constantly over artistic direction. Their noisy rows drew the notice of Roger Waters and David Gilmour, working across the hall with their band Pink Floyd. They pretended to be peacemakers, but Spinal Tarp came to learn that the two were up to no good.

“Gilmour would come over and ask me, ‘What’s that little bit you guys are working on?’ I was so flattered, I’d tell him,” Smalls said. “Waters then inquired about the concepts and themes ... I thought it was fantastic they were taking an interest in our music, and we were being taken seriously.”

Well, they were being taken, that’s for sure.

“While my bandmates continued to quarrel, the Floyd were getting closer and closer to finishing what turned out to be our record,” Smalls said. Even worse, “They did watered down versions of songs that were meant to be real rockers.”

Pink Floyd quickly released their LP, calling it Dark Side of the Moon, and the rest is history.

Smalls and his mates chose to keep a stiff upper lip and not complain publicly about the artistic theft.

“The record label said, ‘Theirs is out and people love it; if you try to cry about it now, you’ll look like spoilsports.’ They’d beaten us to the punch,” Smalls said. “We chose to go on our merry way, thinking, if we struck gold once, we can do it again. They can have that one.”

The record they eventually made, Break Like The Wind, caused most critics to hold their noses, commencing a spiral down the toilet bowl for Spinal Tarp. Ten years later, a Rob Reiner directed film helped flush them completely, laced with subtle but deadly digs that made Metallica’s subsequent tell-all documentary seem gentle as The Song Remains The Same.

Soon, the band was over — except for the past four Octobers. Then, for reasons unknown, Tarp heads to the New Hampshire Seacoast for a reunion show. They run through the bulk of their loud catalog, play-

Marcia Ball. Courtesy photo.

ing hits like “Big Bottom,” “Sex Farm” and “Heavy Duty.” They try not to think about what might have been, had a poncy prog band not stolen their vision.

Of course, another drummer will need to be found for the show at Dover Brick House. The last one fell off a booze cruise boat and hasn’t been seen since. Coal mining is less dangerous work than banging the skins in Spinal Tarp, even if it’s for reasons that have nothing to do with rock ’n’ roll.

OK, confession time: none of the above is true. Well, apart from the show on Oct. 26, which really is happening. Derek Smalls is actually local musician Nick Phaneuf, and four other Seacoast musicians will take on the roles of the other members of the band that they’re parodying — a band that never even existed. This Is Spinal Tap is fake, though it’s quite prescient for fiction. Reiner invented the mockumentary with his 1984 film, as he ridiculed pretentious rock stars of the 1970s, but he also presaged the wave of hair bands that came a few years later.

Phaneuf will be joined by Steve Roy as St. Hubbins, Mike Effenberger doing Viv Savage on keyboards, Russ Graham as Tufnel, and Jim Rudolph on the drum kit — if he lives that long.

Throughout the night, there are touches fans of the movie always appreciate, like foil-covered cucumbers handed out as door prizes, and maybe a scale model for the performance of “Stonehenge.” The band sports armadillo T-shirts, which Phaneuf is quite proud of, and the entire night is a filled with every Spinal Tap song they can fit in.

The legacy of Tap reaches far and wide.

“My father-in-law is a fan,” Phaneuf said, “and he called me right after buying a Tesla to tell me the engineers there are also into Spinal Tap, and they made the radio dial go up to 11. That’s awesome.”

— Michael Witthaus Spinal Tarp Mark V When: Friday, Oct. 26, 8 p.m.

Where: Dover Brick House, 2 Orchard St., Dover Tickets: $10.12 at eventbrite.com

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BEACH BUM FUN JONESIN’ CROSSWORDS BY MATT JONES

“Getting Shift-E” — moving over Across 1 Cut coupons, say 5 Show whose 50th season would premiere in 2024 8 Holiday driver, in a phrase 14 Sea movement 15 Japanese for “yes”

16 “Let’s hide out!”

17 Animal that’s a source of Musk?

19 Home theater component 20 Every last one 21 Handler of meteorology?

23 Indian yogurt drink

25 “I Am America (And ___ You!)” (2007 Stephen Colbert book) 26 Lofty 29 Agcy. combating price fixing 30 Hanoi lunar festival 33 Falco of two HBO series 36 Fantasy group 38 Circumvent 40 Clapton-inspired New Orleans dish?

43 Kick back 44 Old Norse letter 45 Name associated with IRAs 46 Shadowy figure 47 Use a crowbar 49 Group associated with Brooklyn since 2012 51 “No Logo” author Naomi

10/4

53 Jon of “Napoleon Dynamite” 57 British prep school offering singing lessons?

62 Actress Gabor 63 Wheat-free soy sauce 64 Advice to “Star Wars” fans?

66 Hot dish stand 67 “It’s a dog ___ dog world out there” 68 “Akeelah and the Bee” star Palmer 69 Says 70 ___-pitch softball 71 They may be beady

22 Scientist Albert who studied LSD 24 “Come Back, Little ___” (William Inge play) 27 Rockstar Games game, to fans 28 Shakespeare play split into two parts 30 Luau root 31 Do some cutting and pasting 32 Part of MIT, for short 33 Messes up 34 Like one end of a pool 35 Sit ___ by (take no action) 37 Tempe sch.

39 Poet’s output 41 Da Gama, for one Down 42 Word in some obits 1 Great buy 48 Makes alterations to 2 ___ Wafers (Nabisco brand) 50 The other side 3 Matinee stars 4 You can’t take a Scantron with 51 Unscrupulous man 52 Features to count it 54 Loser to Truman and FDR 5 Oxford, e.g.

55 Draw forth 6 “The Lion King” lioness 56 Landscaping tools 7 Does some workout tasks 57 “Julius Caesar” inquiry 8 Cut in half 58 Pie shop purchase 9 Like some shady calls 59 Leave out 10 Metallic quality 11 “Wheel of Fortune” creator 60 Skewed type (abbr.)

61 ___ the Elder (Roman Griffin statesman) 12 Neighborhood 65 Scrape by, with “out” 13 Luminous sign gas ©2018 Jonesin’ Crosswords 18 It ended in 1945

Family owned and operated, providing the same friendly atmosphere since we opened, 56 years ago, in 1960.

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Love it here.

The home of familiar favorites SEACOAST SCENE | OCTOBER 4 - 24, 2018 | PAGE 26

The Brätskellar Pub

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BEACH BUM FUN HOROSCOPES

By Holly, The Seacoast Region’s leading astrologer

• Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): Your horoscope calls for a big surprise, but due to a typographical error you will get a fig surprise.

• Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Today is a day you shouldn’t be afraid to let your imagination run wild! That’s what I do when I make up these horoscopes.

• Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Take time today to ease into any situation that comes up, especially when you go to try on that new pair of pants.

• Aries (March 21-April 19): Your tendency to exaggerate will get so out of hand, the fate of all mankind will hang in the balance.

• Taurus (April 20-May 20): Do your own thing and take care of your own business. And when you do, just be sure to close the door.

• Gemini (May 21-June 20): Stop worrying about what others think of you. It couldn’t get any worse than it already is, anyway.

• Cancer (June 21-July 22): You have a song in your heart. Unfortunately, it’s “You Light Up My Life.”

SUDOKU

• Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Don’t believe everything you read, except today’s horoscope for Gemini. I swear that one is really true. Really.

• Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You will find yourself somewhat forgetful today, though for the life of me I can’t remember exactly why.

Peace, Love, & Shopping!

Fair Trade & US Made Items Clothing • Tapestries • Jewelry • Bags Body Care • Essential Oils • Gemstones Smoking Accessories • & Other Cool Stuff

We Also Display Work From Local New England Artists!

• Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Worrying never solved any problem, which is something that really concerns me..

• Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Today you have nothing to lose and everything to gain! So it’s not the best day to sign up for Weight Watchers.

• Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): Like you’re really going to believe what I tell you. OK, stand with your bare feet in a bucket of ice water all day. How did that feel?

SU DO KU

Fill in the grid so that every row, every column, and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 through 9. Last week's puzzle answers are below

10/4

Derry Location: 10 Manchester Rd.

NEW! North Hampton: 44 Lafayette Rd.

TheHappyHippy.co | 603-216-1977 (Derry) 603-379-9957 (North Hampton) | info@thehappyhippy.co 121763

SEACOAST SCENE | OCTOBER 4 - 24, 2018 | PAGE 27

BEACH BUM FUN JONESIN’ CROSSWORDS BY MATT JONES

“Getting Shift-E” — moving over Across 1 Cut coupons, say 5 Show whose 50th season would premiere in 2024 8 Holiday driver, in a phrase 14 Sea movement 15 Japanese for “yes”

16 “Let’s hide out!”

17 Animal that’s a source of Musk?

19 Home theater component 20 Every last one 21 Handler of meteorology?

23 Indian yogurt drink

25 “I Am America (And ___ You!)” (2007 Stephen Colbert book) 26 Lofty 29 Agcy. combating price fixing 30 Hanoi lunar festival 33 Falco of two HBO series 36 Fantasy group 38 Circumvent 40 Clapton-inspired New Orleans dish?

43 Kick back 44 Old Norse letter 45 Name associated with IRAs 46 Shadowy figure 47 Use a crowbar 49 Group associated with Brooklyn since 2012 51 “No Logo” author Naomi

10/4

URGENT ITEMS NEEDED FOR THE TROOPS!!!

The Seacoast Scene is looking for a sales person with past print sales experience who is creative and loves the print environment. Candidates should live on the seacoast. Hours are part-time.

B 8,

26

Please contact Larry Marsolais

larry@seacoastscene.net or 603.935.5096

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TOILETRY ITEMS (8 OZ.) OR TRAVEL SIZE - NO AEROSOL CANS • Chap Stick • Hand Sanitizer • Deodorant • Tylenol • Apsrin • Razors • Eye Drops • Bug Wipes • Inner Soles • Foot Powder • Toothpaste/Brushes • Sun Screen • Handi Wipes • Flip Flops • White Socks (Mid Calf for Boots) FOOD ITEMS - INDIVIDUALLY PACKED TO SHARE • Cookies • Nuts • Trail Mix • Pop Tarts • Mircowave Popcorn • Coffee (1lb) • Gum • Beef Jerky • Small Peanut Butter • Dried Fruit • Raisins • Granola Bars • Crystal Light (Etc.) On the Go Drink Packets • Freeze Pops • Slim Jims FUN STUFF FOR THE TROOPS • Deck of Cards • Small Checkers • Small Nerf Balls • Rubik Cubes • Yoyos-Duncan • Small Chess Sets •Footballs/Soccerballs • Small Card Games ITEMS THAT CANNOT BE SENT Any Food Items Containing Pork • Adult Books or Films

We are a drop off location!

P22

P32 . 16 AP P FREE M

Down 1 Great buy 2 ___ Wafers (Nabisco brand) 3 Matinee stars 4 You can’t take a Scantron with it 5 Oxford, e.g.

6 “The Lion King” lioness 7 Does some workout tasks 8 Cut in half 9 Like some shady calls 10 Metallic quality 11 “Wheel of Fortune” creator Griffin 12 Neighborhood 13 Luminous sign gas 18 It ended in 1945

22 Scientist Albert who studied LSD 24 “Come Back, Little ___” (William Inge play) 27 Rockstar Games game, to fans 28 Shakespeare play split into two parts 30 Luau root 31 Do some cutting and pasting 32 Part of MIT, for short 33 Messes up 34 Like one end of a pool 35 Sit ___ by (take no action) 37 Tempe sch.

39 Poet’s output 41 Da Gama, for one 42 Word in some obits 48 Makes alterations to 50 The other side 51 Unscrupulous man 52 Features to count 54 Loser to Truman and FDR 55 Draw forth 56 Landscaping tools 57 “Julius Caesar” inquiry 58 Pie shop purchase 59 Leave out 60 Skewed type (abbr.)

61 ___ the Elder (Roman statesman) 65 Scrape by, with “out” ©2018 Jonesin’ Crosswords

Pease Care Packages

Experienced Print Salesperson Wanted

JAN

53 Jon of “Napoleon Dynamite” 57 British prep school offering singing lessons?

62 Actress Gabor 63 Wheat-free soy sauce 64 Advice to “Star Wars” fans?

66 Hot dish stand 67 “It’s a dog ___ dog world out there” 68 “Akeelah and the Bee” star Palmer 69 Says 70 ___-pitch softball 71 They may be beady

the off-seaso

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SEACOAST SCENE | OCTOBER 4 - 24, 2018 | PAGE 29

NEWS OF THE WEIRD BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

Compelling explanations

Yury Zhokhov, 41, a factory worker in Donetsk, Russia, was found kneeling in a field in early October with a knife handle sticking out of the top of his head.

Zhokhov was conscious, and when questioned by police, he revealed he had stuck the 8-inch blade in himself. He was having trouble breathing through his nose, he explained, and hoped to make another hole he could breathe through. But the knife became stuck, and he couldn’t remove it. Odditycentral.com reports doctors at the local hospital were afraid to touch the knife for fear of killing Zhokhov or causing brain damage. “It was horrific,” a hospital spokesperson told local media. X-rays showed the blade “exactly between the two hemispheres of the brain.” Specialists were called and Zhokhov survived the surgery without apparent brain damage, although surgeons are concerned about infection.

away. As the plane took off shortly after midnight, it hit the top of a 5-foot-tall perimeter wall and destroyed a small landing guide tower. The Washington Post reported that, despite the audible collision, the pilot told the airport director the plane’s systems were functioning normally and he was continuing toward Dubai, across the Indian Ocean.

“But we found some parts of the plane, like an antenna, on the ground,” the director said. Finally, about two hours into the flight, ground control convinced the pilot to return to India, where the plane landed in Mumbai.

Indeed, there was a huge gash in the plane’s underbelly, and mesh fencing was wrapped around the landing gear. All 130 passengers arrived unharmed and were booked on other flights, and the pilot and co-pilot have been grounded pending a review.

The continuing crisis

In an apparent attempt to destroy what little brainpower he had left, 26-year-old Brandon McVay of Council Bluffs, Iowa, ate a Tide Pod, prompting a trip to the hospital. But while he was being treated in the critical care unit, McVay went on a rampage early on Oct. 4, causing thousands of dollars of damage to medical equipment, according to the Omaha World-Herald.

A nurse told the responding police officer that McVay “was yelling loudly” as he broke objects in his room before proceeding to the hallway. Keyboards, computer monitors and glass valued at more than $7,500 were found littering the hallway, where McVay was subdued by security before police arrived. McVay was arrested and held at the hospital on charges of

Just kidding

An alert (or nosy) passerby called police on Oct. 10 after seeing staff through the window of a Natwest bank in Birmingham, England, hiding and cowering under their desks. Officers arrived at the bank in hopes of catching a robber red-handed but instead were told the workers were participating in a team-building game of hide-and-seek.

West Midlands Police Chief Inspector Dave Keen tweeted that, although the incident was a misunderstanding, the citizen made “the right call,” reported Metro News.

Smooth reaction

On Oct. 12, an Air India Express pilot guided a Boeing 737 up and away from Tiruchirappalli International Airport in Tamil Nadu, India — but not ENOUGH up and

Different from us

West Virginia MetroNews reported that, for Jackie Fullmer, 37, of Fairmont, West Virginia, Oct. 9 started with trying to steal car keys from a woman at knife point. When police caught up to her, she ran toward their car with a hatchet and knife, prompting a deputy to shoot her with a stun gun. Fullmer turned to verbal attacks while being transported to the Fairmont Police Department, warning officers she was going to stab them in the neck and watch their “blood drain as she drank it” — which, as it turns out, she could have done, because she had a knife hidden between her buttocks. That weapon was found during booking, and Fullmer admitted she had slashed the seat belt in the police cruiser with it before threatening to slit the officers’ throats. She was charged with threats of terrorist acts and attempted robbery.

People with issues

As Hermes Callijas-Gasperin’s mother cooked his dinner on Oct. 8 in Bradenton, Florida, she accidentally bumped into her 22-year-old son. That’s when he lost it, the New York Post reported, pelting her with the sausages she was frying and putting his hands on her neck. The Manatee County Sheriff’s Office said Callijas-Gasperin told officers he just wanted his mom to apologize, but he was arrested and charged with misdemeanor domestic battery.

Weird science

In Olympic National Park in Washington, the mountain goat population has baaa-llooned to an unnatural 700 or more animals. The park is also becoming more popular with humans, which has led to an unsavory consequence: In their constant quest for salt and other minerals, the goats have developed a strong taste for human urine and sweat left behind by hikers and campers. Goats will lick clothing and paw at the ground where people have urinated or disposed of cooking water, making them a nuisance, according to the National Park Service. Popular Mechanics also reports that the increased likelihood of human-goat interactions has park officials worried, especially since a goat gored a hiker to death in 2010. The answer: Park officials are tagging, blindfolding and airlifting mountain goats to nearby Mount Baker-Snoqualmie National Forest, which should be more hospitable to their needs.

second-degree criminal mischief and disorderly conduct in a place of business.

Food fight

DEMI The New Hampshire SPCA in Stratham has more than just cats and dogs looking for homes. Demi is a big-boned Quarter horse mare with beautiful, big brown eyes! She loves to be adored and doted upon and is well mannered and sweet to work around.

Demi has had no formal training but has been saddled several times in the past with no issue. We think Demi would enjoy an introduction to saddle work and could make a very nice riding horse. She is level headed, sweet and easy to handle. Despite having been born and spending her entire life on the same property before coming to our facility, Demi has transitioned well and has been easy for us to handle and care for. She is polite to her neighbors and companions but also doesn’t seem to mind having a paddock to herself. She is great for vet and farrier. Demi is a very easy keeper (low fat pellet or ration balancer with first cut hay), barefoot with no soundness or health issues.

She would make a fun, straightforward project or an exceptional companion horse. For more information on adoption, visit the Horses and Farm Animal page at nhspca.org.

SEACOAST SCENE | OCTOBER 4 - 24, 2018 | PAGE 30

Some people can get pretty territorial about their food. So it appeared in Colleton County, South Carolina, on Sept. 29, when Ryan Dean Langdale, 19, warned his 17-year-old cousin not to eat his salt and vinegar potato chips. “Do not touch my chips, or I’ll shoot you,” Langdale told his cousin, according to a sheriff’s incident report. The Charleston Post and Courier reported Langdale then went into another room, retrieved a rifle and “the rifle went off,” according to the sheriff’s document. Langdale summoned help but told police his cousin had accidentally shot himself while cleaning the rifle.

Officers didn’t think the story held up: The pathway of the bullet through the victim’s chest was “impossible” if he had mistakenly shot himself, said sheriff’s Maj. J.W. Chapman. Sure enough, when the victim was questioned after undergoing surgery, he told officers the savory snacks were at the center of the dispute.

Langdale surrendered on Oct. 10 and was charged with, among other crimes, attempted murder.

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Join Us for Award Winning Food & Drinks!

November 2nd | 7-9:30 pm at the 8th Annual Best of TASTE Bash

The Casino Ballroom Hampton Beach, NH Free Parking

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Taste your way through over 50 restaurants paired with fine wines, craft beers, signature cocktails for only $79

Purchase tickets at: tasteoftheseacoast.com A portion of the proceeds will benefit the NH Food Bank PLUS: Silent Auction and Bash & Crash Packages

SEACOAST SCENE | OCTOBER 4 - 24, 2018 | PAGE 32

123270