Issue 174 by Second Supper

FREE Volume 9 Issue 174 August 6, 2009

THE WORLD’S MOST POLITE BORDER BATTLE

Serving La Crosse, Onalska, Holmen, Barre Mills, Stoddard WI La Crescent, Hokah, Winona MN

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Editorial Editor: Adam Bissen adam.bissen@secondsupper.com Student Editor: Ben Clark benjamin.clark@secondsupper.com Music Editor: Jason LaCourse music@secondsupper.com Graphic Design: Matt Schmidt matt.schmidt@secondsupper.com Columnists: Amber Miller amber.miller@secondsupper.com Brett Emerson brett.emerson@secondsupper.com Shuggypop shuggypop.jackson@secondsupper.com Contributors: Jacob Bielanski, Erich Boldt, Nicholas Cabreza, Andrew Colston, Ashly Conrad, Emily Faeth, Brandon Fahey, El Jefe, Emma Mayview, Briana Rupel, Noah Singer, Bob Treu, Nate Willer

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Second Supper vol. 9, issue 174

Leditor

Do This

When I wake up in the afternoon, one of the first things I see is the state of Minnesota. Her bluffs radiate a blue-green haze in the distance, whereas the ones in my backyard are more like a forest green. That’s one of the perks of western Wisconsin, our view of eastern Minnesota’s bluffs. I find her landscape to be a bit more cutting, high sloped, and verdant than our more rolling valley system, yet I suppose in the grand scheme of geography this singles me out as a bit of a coulee connoisseur. We can do that here in the borderland, notice the minute differences between two states that many Americans consider twins. I’ve been watching Olympic curling since the Lillehammer games, and I’ve never seen a competitor who wasn’t from Wisconsin or Minnesota. Minnesota always has the highest voter turnout rate in the country, and we’re always in second place. We both like hot dish, long vowels, euchre, clean government, blackberry brandy and wooden lawn ornaments of people bending over. Hell, turn the word “Wisconsin” upside down and it kind of looks like “Minnesota,” and the profile of our border appears to be caressing Minnesota in a rather intimate way. But we’re not like best buddies or anything. Upper Midwesterners don’t show that kind of affection. They stamp “10,000 Lakes” on their license plates, so Wisconsin goes ahead and claims 15k. We elect Tammy Baldwin, the first lesbian in Congress, and they vote in Keith Ellison, its first Muslim. And don’t even get me started on the crap the Vikings tried to pull with Brett Favre! But this is an issue devoted to Wisconsin and Minnesota, the sameness that makes us great and the differences that give us personality. What can you say about two states that chose to be represented by Russ Feingold and Paul Wellstone, Gene McCarthy and Joe McCarthy, “Fighting” Bob LaFollette and Jesse “the Body” Ventura? People on the coasts might not give two Schlitz about us, but we know that Wisconsin and Minnesota are both awesome. And we also know who’s better.

WHAT: Coulee Region Humane Society's 8th Annual Bark in the Park WHERE: Copeland Park, La Crosse WHEN: Saturday, August 8, 2009, 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

the top

— Emily Faeth

Cities of the Upper Midwest 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

Madison Chicago Minneapolis La Crosse Decorah Des Moines Viroqua

Things Minnesota has that Wisconsin doesn't 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

A hip-hop scene Light rail An NHL team DFL party The Big Wu Designated hitter The Fargo-Morehead metro area

Clunkers

— Adam Bissen

Table of Contents This page ................................................3 Bud Light ............................................... 4 Y Marks the Spot ................................ 5 Minnesota Nice ....................................6 Border Battle .....,,,,...............................7 Brett Favre ............................................ 8 Gettin' Shuggy ......................................9 Advertisement ..................................... 10 Crossword .......................................... 11 Community Service .......................... 12-13 Rock Out! ........................................... 14 ..........

August 6, 2009

OK, I'm a little disappointed. The Coulee Region Humane Society promised me a fun-filled day with my furry friend, yet there was no mention of special boyfriend-girlfriend activities on the roster (...sorry, Aaron). But after moping for awhile, I decided that it does sound like a fun time after all. Bark in the Park is in its eighth year of celebrating man's best friend (no, not your iPhone). The event is dog-centric: an Arfy Art Studio, a Kibble Kitchen for people and pets, and an Agility Course, which I will safely assume is for dogs. For the bipedal creatures in your group, there's a silent auction, musical entertainment and all the butt sniffing you could possibly want. Plus, all proceeds go to the Coulee Region Humane Society. What better way to meet the neighbors? But Mom, please don't bring Ruby.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

Geo Metro Chrysler LeBaron Pontiac Sunbird Dodge Neon Chevy Astro Van Ford Grenada VW Rabbit

Social Networking NAME AND AGE: Sara Mae Wooden, 24 BIRTHPLACE: La Crescent, Minn. CURRENT JOB: Popcorn Tavern bartender DREAM JOB: Travel the world with a backpack and hiking shoes LAST THING YOU GOOGLED: Weather IF YOU COULD LIVE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, WHERE WOULD IT BE? New Zealand or Fiji WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE? Go sky diving WHAT IS YOUR BEVERAGE OF CHOICE? Big Hole's Mythical White Ale CELEBRITY CRUSH: Brandon Boyd

TELL US A JOKE I'm no good at jokes. IF A GENIE GRANTED YOU THREE WISHES, WHAT WOULD YOU ASK FOR? To spend the rest of my life in a secluded paradise with my lover FIRST CONCERT YOU WENT TO: Some concert at the Warehouse in 1995...and Sevendust WHAT'S THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? Granola bars and good beer WHAT'S IN YOUR POCKETS RIGHT NOW? Nothing

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? Light on Yoga

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PART OF SECOND SUPPER? Social networking...and, the Popcorn's list of awesome bands during the week. Check it out!

TELL US YOUR GUILTIEST PLEASURE: Singing

HOW DO YOU KNOW ALICIA? She's my BFF since I was 5 years old

Freshening up Editor's Note: After publishing a maze in 73 consecutive issues of Second Supper, Erich Boldt is taking a well-earned vacation from traversable line drawings. We thank him for his amazing creations and wish him continued inspiration in his future artwork.

IT’S MY PARTY AND I’LL BUY IF I WANT TO.

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Amber Miller's coffee column will return next week.

kick on main :: 236 Main Street :: La Crosse, WI 54601 :: p: 608.782.kick www.kickonmain.com :: Mon - Wed 11-6 :: Thurs and Fri 11-7 :: Sat 11-5

BEER

Bud Light Anheuser-Busch St. Louis, Missouri

Review

Beer, for all its wonderful attributes, is rarely lauded on the front page of the New York Times, which made last Thursday’s “Beer Summit” at the White House a truly watershed event. Here’s a quick summary for those who don’t follow fake media events: Henry Louis Gates Jr., a noted African-American scholar, was arrested in his home by a Harvard police officer after a neighbor reported him breaking and entering. Gates alleged racial profiling, the story blew up nationwide, and Obama invited the professor and Sgt. James Crowley to the White House to sip a cold one and talk about their problems. A refreshing political tactic, I suppose, but as a beer critic I was appalled by their choices. Gates quaffed a Sam Adams Light, a sufficiently hoity-toity brew that panders to his New England base. Crowley ordered a Blue Moon, a sub-par wheat beer made by Coors, the Colorado brewery that many leftists boycott due to its Republican politicking. Joe Biden sipped a non-alcoholic beer — and we expect that kind of two-facedness from him — but Barack Obama, our man in the Oval Office, drank a Bud Light. Ouch! I’m just not comfortable with my president being a stooge. While I’m pretty sure I’ve never purchased a 6-pack of Bud Light before, I can

almost guarantee I’ve never poured it in a pint Appearance 2 glass, as I’ve never seen a beer this thin. It looks Aroma: 1 like the trace remnants of ginger ale after you’ve Taste: 3 drank a whole glass and let the ice cubes melt. Mouthfeel: 4 The aroma is clean in the way that water is clear Drinkability: 6 — basically nonexistent over the faint whiff of cereal grains. The flavor Total: 16 comes in on tip-toes, as if Anheuser-Busch were wary of consumers with taste buds. The flavor is most akin to a stale Saltine cracker, while the mouthfeel evokes flat seltzer. For a while I wasn’t sure if it had any malts or hops, but the benignly crisp finish is sure to impress people who … um, watch a lot of beer commercials? I could go on and on ripping Budweiser and our pandering populist president, but I think I’ll close with a more universal homily. When it comes to ordering a beer, drink what tastes the best to you. Anybody want five Bud Lights?

— Adam Bissen

Sugar (2009) Directors: Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck Cast: Algenis Perez Soto, Rayniel Rufino, Andre Holland Writers: Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck

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Sugar is a film about baseball, not a baseball film. It's more a study of the immigrant experience than a sports movie, but it could really go either way. It values the characters more than the game; ironic, since the characters value the game more than the game values them. It makes the world of professional baseball look like a business, which it is. Players are as interchangeable as the equipment they use. It's like they come from an assembly line. If that's true, then many Caribbean and South American countries are the factories. Miguel "Sugar" Santos (Soto) comes from the Dominican Republic, one such factory. The film shows how easily the American dream can get swallowed up in the masses, even for a natural as gifted as Sugar. See in America, Sugar is just another pitcher. There are hundreds of arms just like his or better. If he gets injured or hits a slump, his team will move on to the next big pitcher. So he needs to stay at the top of the game, because like most things in America, baseball is kill or be killed. Sugar finds this out gradually. We follow him off the field, in hotel rooms, restaurants, church meetings and bars as he comes

to the realization that he might not be the bees knees after all. He realizes a life in America may not be the life he really wants, especially a life playing minor league ball in small-town Iowa, hundreds of miles from anyone who speaks Spanish. It's predictable for an immigrant film to show its characters starting at the bottom and working their way up. Sugar Santos steps off the plane already at the top. As a sports movie, Sugar is not about winning the big game, or finding the courage to be a winner, or anything corny like that. It's a critique of pro sports as an industry and the effect it has on the players' psyches. Most importantly, it's indicative of baseball's increasing diversity. The Brewers celebrate Cerveceros Day, and I'm sure other clubs have their rituals honoring the impact of Latin America on baseball. Sugar follows such a tradition. It makes you wonder how many interesting untold stories are working to get to the big leagues at this very moment.

— Nick Cabreza

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 174

Y Marks the Spot

Brett Emerson

brett.emerson@secondsupper.com The original plan for this week’s column was of a more political bent. Due to the abundance of tin foil-helmeted townie psychos I’ve had to slog through in the past year, I was going to explain my own government conspiracy theory. The first half of my theory states that if I was a willing member of a corrupt government, I’d disguise my footsteps by filling the heads of all the twitchy, unwashed ambulance chasers with all the grassy knoll stories they could eat. I’d set up a few fake government watchdog sites, some group like what the 9/11 Truth people have going on, have a crew of fake militia types shore up a crowd, and then I’d send the creeps loose to warn the rest of the nation. I would do all this because, well, nobody takes vagrant psychopaths seriously, and the more they scream about federal schemes, the more the general public is willing to discount ALL conspiracies as the pipe dreams of vagrant psychopaths. After that rampage of disinformation, I’d be free to conspire at will. But with the exception of the second half, there’s not much more to say. So let’s lighten things up with a story about something that happened to me this week. Like the title says, it may be the most (gloriously) stupid thing I’ve ever been responsible for. It was Friday. I had come home from work in the evening and knocked off for a few hours on my couch. It was dark when I came to, the only light coming from the faint green Christmas bulbs in the living room. It took some time for me to scrape myself upright and get ambulatory. A rash of phone calls followed. Very few people were out and about, and the few friends who were doing anything lurked within a collective house, a few blocks away. The location was close enough to not require a car (I almost never drive within mainland La Crosse), yet far enough away that I’d rather bike the distance. Before I left, however, I required some typical Friday night preparation. By the time I mounted my bike and left the house, I was, to put it diplomatically, in a state. The ride over went fine. I was coherent, riding in straight lines, and even had my bike light on. I arrived at the dark, ramshackle wooden porch, where the expected crowd hadn’t materialized. Those outside the house loitered atop the dirt and grass, smoking cigarettes and no doubt wishing for more excitement to fall from the sky. After an unknown period of time the home team went inside to sleep, the away team drifted away, and I shambled over to my bicycle as a rainstorm materialized within sec-

August 6, 2009

onds. I want to say that what followed next happened because of the darkness and rain, but I would be lying. So focused was I on getting home through the storm that it didn’t immediately dawn on me that my bike light was on the opposite end of the handlebars. When this was noticed, I thought it had slipped from its attachment, though it didn’t move when I tried to pull it back into position. The hell with it, I thought, and I rotated the light so that it illuminated the road, upside down. After a while, I realized that not only was my light out of position but my hand brakes were behind my hands, not in front of them. A block from home, the truth slipped into my brain. I had ridden nine blocks in a rainstorm with my handlebars turned backwards. The usual idiot, when becoming aware of such a folly, would take stock of the situation and fix it in a rational way. Not me. Still in motion and invincible in ignorance of the laws of physics, I wrenched my handlebars to their correct direction. The wheel wobbled, and I soon hurtled over my bicycle and landed in the soft, wet grass. On the ground, I howled with a joyous and wholly inappropriate laughter. There were no injuries, and almost no possessions were broken. When I finally called off the mirth and stood up, however, I realized that the front tire of my bike had folded in half. All things considered, the destruction was minimal, a sign of providence which only confirmed my sense of fortune about the whole experience. Lifting the machine by its damaged limb, I wheeled it the final block home, locked it in the garage, and slept like a champion. There’s no conventional moral to this act of brilliance beyond the usual condemnations and perhaps an endorsement for protective headgear. But what I took from the adventure, and what was in mind as I recounted the story ad nauseum to all my friends, is that one can find joy and fun in anything, even while staring down the gun barrel of danger. In fact, danger — outside of simple masochism — might well be a crucial ingredient for such happiness. Which brings me to the second half of my conspiracy theory. If I wanted total control of a population, I’d give the people everything they wanted or dreamed of, every impulse fulfilled at the click of a button. Because what do you get for the man who has everything? Everything to lose.

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When I first got my assignment, I wasn’t quite sure of what was going to happen. My nature is to be as un-confrontational as possible, and writing a piece on how Minnesotans react to a garish amount of Wisconsin sports gear struck me as a particularly difficult piece to write. Basically, my only hope was that my antics wouldn’t result in my nose being broken by a rather drunk and devoted Twins fan. With a few of my co-workers in tow, we made our way to Hokah, looking for a bar to be open for the night. We found our way to Jake’s Main Street Saloon, and, with the rest of the crowd following a long distance behind me, we made our way inside. To keep you updated, I, your trusty narrator, was wearing a Badgers 1999 Rose Bowl Championship T-shirt with a Green Bay Packers cap tossed onto my head. The plan was that I would enter the bar alone, and those following me would come in later, possibly offering back up if a fight would break out. As the night would turn out, these precautions would prove to be unnecessary. I walked into the Main Street Saloon, dressed to the nines with my Badgers T-shirt and Packers hat, to grab a seat next to the only two patrons in the bar. These two patrons were none other than members of the Hokah Fire Department, taking a break after a long photo shoot. I sat down at the bar and ordered a Miller Lite, thus establishing myself as a Wisconsinite in a strange land. When I sat down, the firefighter furthest from me rolled his eyes; another Wisconsinite attempting to extend his territory. I sipped my drink and paid no attention, realizing that this was simply the natural reaction to a long day of work and going to one of the local bars for a drink…not to get involved in interstate rivalries that have no meaning into whether or not the Kwik Trip in Hokah had burned down due to those damned arsonists. As I sat down, the silence between us seemed deafening. After a few minutes of sitting there smiling, the bartender came back in, smiling after her cigarette outside. She took a look at me and asked me what I wanted. I responded with Miller Lite, making sure to keep up my Wisconsin credibility. With no expression, she tossed me my drink and made a comment about my attire. I laughed it off and said that I had never drank in Hokah before. She smiled, and responded that if I really want to see what Hokah is about, I should stop into the Main Street Saloon during the day, when there are more customers there. I laughed and turned my attention to the “Friends” re-run playing on the TV in front of us. Overall, it was terrific. The bartender and the one patron who wasn’t deeply involved in a political conversation (i.e., the conversation

between the firefighters talking about how all is wrong with society with the simple truth of property tax) were very friendly to me. The bartender asked me what I was doing in Hokah on a Monday night, and I simply answered: “I’ve never drank in Hokah before…I thought that it would be a good time." At this point, I settled back into my stool, enjoying myself as I watched the antics of Joey schmoozing the shit out of a guest actress to great success. I looked over to see my two firefighter companions deep in talk about the dangers that our modern political scene was about to bring us.The bartender and her friend were now discussing their opinions over a girl who had wandered away from a party and ended up near a train track near Brice Prairie. My apparel, at this moment, was of absolutely no concern. I listened to the rest of the story of the poor underage girl who had drank too much at a party and had wandered into an area that could have been potentially dangerous. I slammed the rest of my rum and coke and walked out, signifying to the rest of my supporters that it was time to make a change of scene in the small city of Hokah. I walked to the next bar down the street, encountering only one old, drunk patron and the bartender. I stepped up to the bar and ordered a Miller Lite. She stared at me for a moment, then asked me to say it correctly. Now, I had spent most of my years in elementary school trying to get rid of my speech impediment, and thought that she simply thought that I was drunk. I repeated myself, very clearly, that I wanted a Miller Lite. She responded that I had too much for the evening, and that she would absolutely refuse to serve me. I thanked her, and walked out the door, wondering whether it had been my natural inability to pronounce “Miller Lite” that had kicked me out, or simply me wearing a shit-ton of Wisconsin sports garb. Either way, I left the bar with a really bad taste in my mouth. I left the area feeling perfectly fine with Minnesota’s attitude towards their “rivals” to the east. I feel, however, that to have a more dramatic experience, we should have gone way, way west: stopped in a city which was nowhere near the border of Wisconsin and Minnesota, and seen what they think of my rather extravagant Wisconsin gear. Either way, I left Hokah feeling that overall, Minnesota is perfectly polite in letting others enter and enjoy their state, that there is no difference that will separate the two states. After all, we need to rememberthat we’re both members of the Midwest. And let’s face it…the Midwest is the best place to live in this crazy country.

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 174

Border battle LIQUOR LAWS

WI vs. MN

UNIVERSITIES Academics: The University of Wisconsin is often referred to as the Harvard of the Midwest.

When you Wisconsin creeps whine about not being able to buy hard liquor after 9 p.m., consider that far worse liquor laws are just a river jump away. Minnesota has some of the dumbest booze laws on the books: drinking on Sundays is nigh impossible, you can't buy wine in grocery stores, and the streets are awash in Near Beer, which will rock your face off at 3.2 percent alcohol content. People on the west side of the Mississippi aren't technically supposed to import booze from Wisconsin, but according to tradition, nobody really does anything about it. Regardless of how you pour it, Wisconsin is far more on the side of the drunken angels. — Brett Emerson

TV SHOWS

In the field of sitcom hometowns, Wisconsin owns its westward neighbor. Happy Days, That '70s Show, and Laverne & Shirley all take place in Wisconsin. So does Step By Step, the Young and the Restless, Picket Fences, and Life with Louie.The Craig T. Nelson magnum opus, Coach, is set at the fictional Minnesota State University, but even the glowing bowl-cut comb-over of Bill Fagerbakke can't give one show the win over many. No matter how much your mom loved Mary Tyler Moore, Wisconsin owns the airwaves. — Brett Emerson

BANDS

OK, this is tough. Being from Minnesota — the golden land of lakes, Laura Ingalls Wilder, and Prince — and having moved to Wisconsin — the land of checkerboard fields, Laura Ingalls Wilder, and the Violent Femmes — it's hard for me to say which part of my life has mattered more. Was it the days of listening to Z93 on my brother's hand-me-down CD/tape-player/radio combo, or was it my late high school, purple-haired, teenage angst days? Each legend of music — with his smooth, jazzy, velveteen voice or their angry, cooler-then-thou wails — has defined an era of my life. And the eras of my life are usually so clear-cut to me. But when in comes to music, the songs seem to overlap, and I forget which sounds belonged to which age. So I have to ask myself: which moment will be more enduring to me: while I'm drunk in a bar, with my makeup smeared and doing karaoke to a song that barely mattered when I was 12, or dancing around in my underwear in my room while I'm pissed off that I didn't get the writing grant I wanted? I'll choose number 2, and turn up "Kiss Off" by the Violent Femmes while I do so. P.S. Oh yeah, and Butch Vig from Garbage is from Viroqua, I think. P.P.S. Before someone shouts "riot!", I'll let you know that I'm aware that Robert Zimmerman is from Minnesota. But Bob Dylan is from the universe. — Emily Faeth

ACCENT

All right, I have a beef with all y'all. I know that I don't get a lot of cred from people in my home state of Minnesota, because I grew up in a border town. Being from La Crescent, my people often think that I'm a traitor for moving here, or that I've forgotten "our way" because, well, I've been inundated by images of cheese and some guy named Brent for the last several years. But that's simply not true. You see, the easiest way to tell a true Minnesotan from a (ahem) Wisconsinite is the way we speak. In Minnesota, it's pretty easy. We might say our Os a little funny, and I guess we do say “Oh ja!” a bit too much. But you guys? You nasally, aurally abhorrent Wisconsinites? You can't even say your team's name correctly. Who the f*ck are the Pyeeeahkerrrs? I've been holding this in for way too long, but I've also had to endure the auditory nightmares that are the television commercials from a certain local country music radio station, in which probably fake-baked hairdressers proclaim, in their hyena-voiced psuedo-testimonials about whatever garbage Garth Brooks is playing this week, how much they looooove the Coulee Region. “Heeeee-yyy geeyies, whatcha dooin this Sundee? Wanna gyoh shewt sem stuff?*” But seriously. At least in Minnesota, we have the decency to realize how annoying our accents can be (even if we do usually tell people we're from Canada), and we're much better vocal chameleons, meaning we can wait until after we're fully intoxicated to whip out the “Uff-da.” While we still proudly maintain that touch of “Minnesota nice” in our speech, we tend to do it more softly, which is much easier on the ears than, “HYEEEEEAH GEEEYAHYS!! GOOOOH PYEEEAHKERRS!!” *Not an actual quote.

GAY ICONS

— Emily

This titanic battle is decided in Wisconsin's favor largely because of one reason — Liberace was (outlandishly!) gay and Judy Garland wasn't. While Garland has become the gold standard in gay stereotypes, she didn't exactly have to dodge bigoted rednecks to get there. I'm also going to state my long-held belief that Diamond's role as Screech Powers, in his rainbow suspenders, magnificent jewfro, and multicolored Zubaz, created the greatest gay icon ever, but I won't hold it against anyone for not agreeing with me, and it didn't really tip the scales. — Brett

August 6, 2009

Faeth

Emerson

However I'm not sure anyone not a member of the alumni association uses that term. The University Minnesota accepted me ... along with 60,000 others. Point Wisconsin

Sports: The Badgers are a major contender in nearly every collegiate sport. The football team is the only team in the Big Ten to win back-to-back Rose Bowls. The basketball team recently enjoyed a number one ranking. And I spent three years watching the Badgers trounce the Gophers in the great Border Battle game for the Axe. The Gophers have won two national hockey titles in the last 10 years, and Dinkytown has had the riots to prove it. The women's hockey team also won two national titles in the last two years. Point Wisconsin. Does anyone really watch women's hockey? Location: UW is located along the pristine shores of Lake Mendota near the heart of Madison. The U of M straddles the mighty Mississippi, with a fantastic foot and bike bridge connecting the two main campuses.The campus is just outside of downtown Minneapolis. Point Minnesota, I grew up on French Island and can't get enough of the Mississippi.

Campus Festivities: Wisconsin is renown for its partying ways. Halloween on State Street is one of the best places to show off your costume-making skills as well as your drinking prowess. UW also holds its annual Mifflin Street Block Party in the spring, which from what I've heard is a day of fun in the sun with a few thousand of your schoolmates. Minnesotans like to compare their annual spring festival Spring Jam to Mifflin, but from what I remember Spring Jam was lots of rain and not getting invited to the "cool" parties. Point Wisconsin. I could have left it at Halloween and not even included Mifflin but Wisconsinites like to show off their ability to throw a hell of a party. — Nate Willer

CAPITAL CITIES

Having rarely driven and never owned a car, I like a city that's pedestrian- and bike-friendly, and rarely does one find a city that is more so than Madison. The city itself is even set up like a sort of wheel, with the spokes jutting out from the Capitol building. Plus, it's pretty hard to get lost when there's always a central landmark to align one's self with. On the other hand, the St. Paul-Minneapolis area is spread out so haphazardly that in the countless times I've visited I've still never been able to figure it all out. Sure, I can find my way around Downtown, Uptown, and Dinkytown, but to get from one to the other? I'm hopeless, and I sure as hell wouldn't want to try that on my bike. And while both the Uptown and State Street neighborhoods can be a bit hipster-centric, I've still managed to find my fair share of down-to-earth folk in Madison. MSP? Not so much. On the live music front, I think it's pretty much a tie between the two. Both see their fair share of both mainstream and underground live acts, and the nightlife in both cities is pretty exciting. However, St. Paul-Minneapolis definitely has the hip-hop market cornered, being the hometown of the likes of Atmosphere and P.O.S. Overall, it's been my feeling that Madison is much more user-friendly, and being the progressive, liberal enclave that it is, I must say it takes the gold. — Emily Faeth

RANDOM TOURIST DESTINATIONS

Minnesota — World's largest ball of twine in Darwin; the Spam Museum in Austin; Ed's Museum, a tribute to a total slob, in Wykoff; and the Paul Bunyan statue in Bemidji. Wisconsin — Land of Evermor metal sculptures in Baraboo; Bowling Hall of Fame in Milwaukee; House on the Rock in Spring Green; and the World's Largest Six Pack in La Crosse Winner: The real winner here is anybody who gets to bask in glory of these oddities. Minnesota loses points though for that herpes sore from the bowels of hell that is the Mall of America

HOLLYWOOD HOTTIES Minnesota — (female) Jessica Biel, Winona Ry-

der, Kelly Lynch, Gena Nolin from Baywatch, a bunch of blonde bombshells who star in pornos; (male) Josh Hartnett, Prince, Richard Dean Anderson aka MacGyver, Kevin Sorbo from numerous Hercules program. Wisconsin — (female) Heather Graham, soap opera legend Deidre Hall, 60s supergroupie Devon Wilson, a bunch of blonde bombshells who were Playboy playmates (male) Spencer Tracy, Robin Zander from Cheap Trick; Tom Wopat aka Luke Duke, a bunch of metro looking dudes who I've never heard of whose IMDB pages seem to limit them to guest appearances on random TV shows Winner: Who really cares?

— Shuggypop Jackson

418 Lang Dr. La Crosse

608-785-0305

Fridays

$11 Cuts Across From Menards www.hairstation.info

Sports page

Our Kind of Hero Brett Favre wasn't just Wisconsin's quarterback. He was our ideal man. And we don't take kindly to reality. By Jacob Bielanski

jacob.bielanski@secondsupper.com There’s a legend that is told in the Mill Pond Pub, on Highway 27 north of Sparta, a legend that involves the time that Brett Favre came in, sat down, and had a beer. Reports state that he was deer hunting in the area — photos still circulate of the lucky old farm couple whose acreage helped catalyze Brett’s hunting adventures. No matter what version of the legend you hear, the message is still the same: Brett Favre is one of us! Except he is, you know, from Mississippi. It seems unusual for Second Supper to foray into the sweaty, jock-stink marsh of mainstream sports, but former Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre’s recent attempts — nay, THREATS — rubbed salt on a Mississippisized wound. While his re-un-retiring bid may only be of sports-related interest to those par-

taking in their office’s Fantasy Football pools, the debacle has exposed what seems to be a centuries old rift that divides two cultures. Favre’s nearly treasonous desertion has become something of an anthropological interest. At the frontlines of this issue is La Crosse. It’s easy to fling slander at Minnesotans from cities on the shores of Lake Michigan, but here on the muddy banks of our border, one sees the blue, “10,000 Lakes” markings of Minnesotans almost as often as the quaint “America’s Dairyland” plates of the tried-and-true Wisconsinite. If there is truly a deep, cultural conflict between Wisconsin and Minnesota, then the Coulee Region would be our West Bank. Like so many other good ethnic conflicts the world over, it would be difficult for the average outsider to even tell one from the other.

Treasures On Main 722 Main St. / 608.785.0234 / Mon-Sat 10am - 5pm

Furniture ~~ Antiques Housewares ~~ Linens Primitives ~~ Garden Jewelry ~~ Collectibles With 3 stories of treasures, it makes it the largest consignment shop in La Crosse. Stop in and check out our selection and shop in support of local animal rescues. 8

Which is why it seems interesting that, for all the articles that covered the ongoing saga regarding Favre, not one of them quotes any concern for the people of Green Bay or the furor that may erupt from the Vikings or Favre himself. “I’m glad he’s not going to play for the Minnesota Vikings” the Green Bay Press Gazette quoted shareholder Carol Campbell,“I would have had to burn my [Favre] T-Shirt.” A similar story seemed to echo in the streets and at the bars; what will happen when the Packers square off against a Vikings team wielding a Purple-clad “#4”? Some friends facetiously suggest that current Green Bay starting quarterback Aaron Rodgers himself would take up a role on the defensive line, just to get a shot at him. But when asked, via email, about whether increased security measure were deemed necessary during Favre’s consideration, director of operations for the Metrodome Dennis Alfton simply replied, “I think the game would have increased interest, but I do not think it would have caused major problems.” No special calls to the Minnesota National Guard or St. Paul Police? “We would have beefed up our awareness and observations,” Alfton wrote. If the issue, then, isn’t about a seething hatred between otherwise reserved rivals, then what is all the talk about? One might posit the obvious theory of betrayal, and perhaps even draw a direct relationship to the mythology of Revolutionary War general Benedict Arnold. Like Favre, Arnold had a long and distinguished career fighting for the “right” side. Similarly to Favre, Arnold fought through repeated injuries (one of which is memorialized at Saratoga). And, like Favre, the higher ups in his organization (the Continental Army) refused him an additional post, prompting him to consider other options. But Arnold was betraying a military organization in a way that could cause significant loss (e.g. the still-birth of a nation). What was Favre truly betraying? The people of Wisconsin? The Lambeau shareholders? The NFL? Perhaps what he was betraying was his on image. Author Leah R. Vande Berg, in her essay “The Sports Hero Meets Mediated Celebrityhood,” notes that members of society are separated from their heroes by time, space and social class. We know these heroes only — and exclusively — through the communications about them (be they engraved clay tablets about heroic deed, a la “Gilgamesh,” or the Play of the Week on ESPN). “Consequently, the term ‘unsung hero’ is an oxymoron,” writes Vande Berg. Whether or not you’re a fan of football, the name Favre (in all its strange pronunciation) represents something — either

the hero of your childhood, an icon of good ol' American values, or maybe just one of many recognizable idols to those you despise. Favre had transcended mere mortality to gain status as a legend — OUR legend.Wisconsin’s legend. As Miles Davis said, “A legend is an old man with a cane, remembered for what he used to do.” Favre at 39, is a young man by modern medical standards, even for one who has been repeatedly beaten by the largest, most well trained athletes in the United States. I can’t blame him for wanting to continue to be a “competitor” — 30-plus years is a depressingly long time to sit around and never be as good as you once were. Perhaps Favre’s greatest sin in this whole debacle was to destroy the legend — to bring out, into the open, the business that is football. His fans are a talking point, an important factor in his many business dealings, one that he must truly consider when making any career choice. Sure, he already played for the New York Jets, but the geographic and organizational distance made his presence there surreal — a cute, hypothetical situation, played out for only one trivial season. But even tempting the thought of a stint with the Vikings brought this startling reality far too close to home. Minnesota had their shot at legends — Independent Governor Jesse Ventura (who blew it), Senator Paul Wellstone (who died just before his prime) and Warren Moon (meh) among them. Favre was ours first — hands off, Minnesota. Perhaps that was the worst thing. Minnesota didn’t have to earn Favre, they just had to buy him.The news media dragged it all out, noting that former Packers employees on the staff of the Vikings had helped court Favre since he announced his second retirement. The Vikings management’s shameless courting played out like a fat businessman picking up a hooker in a sleazy neighborhood — a hooker that used to be your high school sweetheart. Thankfully for the peace of the Coulee Region, Favre rejected the offer. He gave reasons regarding his health, but in all truth I think he just wanted to remind all of us that he’s not a demigod. He’s just a “simple” boy from Mississippi who played a game — and played it well. However, he left enough residual legend over in Lambeau to sustain us, to give us a nice story to inspire our children to do better in school, our young men to best our enemies on the field of battle, and our populace to keep their heads held up high, even when it’s the 4th Quarter and you’re down by 21 points. Jesus Christ, can you imagine if he considered signing up with the f*@king Bears?

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 174

Reviews: Your Guide to Consumption

r’s e n g i Des Drugs The

Oh hi, right now I am listening to a stack of records I picked up from Dusty Groove America, a record store in Chicago that is recognized nationwide as being one of the best record shops out there. Dusty Groove America is one of those shops to go to if you are looking for those hard to find or long forgotten gems. Their selections tend to fall to the side of soul, funk and jazz, genres that have seen their glory days in the past. Personally I love all that stuff though and I’m a sucker for a solid groove. An eclectic blend of every other genre of music can be found as well, if throwback sounds of black America aren’t your thing. Making this a bit more contemporary, I can’t help but have my first thoughts about these jams be that they are a treasure chest for beat-seeking hip-hoppers. I’ve made the pilgrimage to that Mecca of Vinyl a couple dozen times in my life, a trip to Chicago isn’t complete for me without it, but this pails in comparison to the amount of time I have spent shopping on their Web site, www.dustygroove.com. Their online inventory is constantly updated and is well worth your time to checkout. For those of you who are on a limited budget, sanpasquale.blogspot.com is a blog I’ve followed for a couple years has hundreds of similar rare old school albums you

August 6, 2009

can download, plus a lot of under the radar hiphop. And now for something completely different… Every week when I write this column, I have to try to come up with something to write about that will be relevant and interesting to the widest amount of people, while still falling into my realm of expertise. Do I get really obscure and lose all but the most devoted of music fans who probably don’t need my random selections anyways? Do I talk about music I don’t really have a passion for but seem to be popular with many of you out there? Do I go for the latest band that is hot off the hype mill or fall back on something that has had time to acquire a large following and is thus familiar? That is why I want to try and make this column more socially interactive and have you tell me what you want me to write about. A large percentage of my record collection, 10,269 albums as I type this, is cataloged online at rateyourmusic.com/collection/shuggypop for you to browse. Then send me an email (shuggypop. jackson@secondsupper.com) to let me know what you’d like me to write about. If I pick your request, I’ll put your name in the column. Got it? It’s so meta it just might work.

The title of this book has become entrenched in the public lexicon as a way to describe a nowin situation, and honestly, that’s its greatest achievement. Catch-22 is one of those unassailable cultural artifacts which many praise and few actually explore. Until recently, I was no different from the rest of the crowd. I knew what the term meant, and I was familiar with the red hangman pilot on the book’s blue cover, but I had never dug into the pages and searched the message. Recently, I got a hold of Catch-22, and found it to fall far short of its street cred aura. Its lampooning of mankind’s absurdity is sharp, but the book is twice as long as it needed to be and thus extremely repetitive and tedious. Slogging through Catch-22 was like watching a never ending Monty Python sketch — clever at first, but increasingly grating, 453 pages of witty Englishmen singing the Spam song. For the multitudes who have also never read this book, Catch-22 is the story of a camp of American fighter pilots in the European Theater of World War II. Everybody in the squad is neurotic, delusional, asinine, or a combination thereof. The word camera’s primary focus is a bestial wild man named Yossarian who, despite

Medium: Literature Stimulus: Joseph Heller — Catch-22 Anno: 1955

his own absurdities, antics, hypochondria, and public nudity, is tarted up to be the one sane man in an insane species. All he wants to do is finish his quota of required flight missions and go home, but his commanding officer continues to increase the number. Yossarian tries many tricks to get out of his ridiculous duties, but can’t get permanently grounded because of the titular Catch-22. In the book, this rule states that any man who asks to be grounded on psychological reasons can’t be allowed his reprieve, because wanting to escape war is a sign of sanity. This sign of absurdity comes in the beginning of the book, heralding an inexhaustible litany to come. The plot seems to go places at times, in that people die in the midst of all the insanity. Nonetheless, the main direction of this story is downward, entrenching itself in the ludicrous earth. If Heller had written half the book he ultimately produced, the story could have been much more alluring, but as it stands, Catch-22 is little more than a monolithic name running on autopilot.

— Brett Emerson

— Shuggypop Jackson

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 174

I'm Jonesin' for a Crossword "Sausage Party"--can you find the missing link?

Answers to Issue 173's

By Matt Jones

"Flip It"

Across 1 Want really bad 6 Stock-and-gelatin dish 11 Crematorium vessel 14 Fox News "Red Eye" contributor Alison 15 Khan who is "every woman" 16 Weddings page word 17 In any way 18 Less stale 19 Actor Shepard of "Idiocracy" 20 High-vitamin oil source 22 Part of a sign at a historical inn 24 "Dirty Sexy Money" star Peter 25 Less substantive 28 Bus. conference 29 Business biggies 32 "It's freezing out!" 35 Is talented in, with "for" 37 It may be made for dessert 39 Numskull

58 Stimpy's smarter half 59 Preface 62 Metamorphosis stage 63 Crazy way to go? 64 iPod varieties 65 Like boisterous crowds 66 Neither mate 67 Kofi Annan's home country 68 Word that can follow the ends of 20-, 35-, 41- and 56-across

40 "___ tuned!" 41 Michelob beer variety 43 Charlemagne's realm, for short

August 6, 2009

44 "On the Road" author 45 A.M.A. members 48 Elevator creator Otis

50 Thin porridges 54 "Monty Python's Life of ___" 56 Kid who's lived in many states, perhaps

Down 1 "___ Is Wack" (antidrug slogan) 2 Helicopter part 3 Carne ___ grilled steak (Taco Bell option) 4 Paper from mammal skin 5 Take a recruiter's offer 6 Skin problem 7 He-Man's twin sister 8 Cat's foot 9 Eisenhower's nickname

10 Woozy from the ride 11 Sworn to tell the truth 12 Gather, as crops 13 Waiting room call 21 Be idle, with "out" 23 Panetta and Trotsky, for two 26 "There, there" follow-up 27 Tom Clancy protagonist Jack 30 Tar Heels' st. 31 Scottish terrier breed 32 "Space Ghost Coast to Coast" simpleton 33 Capital on the Tiber 34 He was a real Meathead on TV 35 Moonshine 36 Circle segment 38 "Kiss My Axe" fusion guitarist Al Di ___ 39 Financial degs. 42 Making a total mess of 45 Film studio that introduced Droopy 46 Prohibition-era rule 47 Outback manufacturer

49 Composer Copland 51 What computers repeat out loud while shooting sparks, in old sci-fi movies 52 Exudations from eruptions 53 One end of a maze 54 Antithesis of kids' cereal with cartoon mascots 55 Property taken back 57 Civil rights figure Parks

60 "Don't think so" 61 Strip club offering, for short ÂŠ2009 Jonesin' Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-2262800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0426.

COMMUNITY SERVICE [ Area food & drink specials ] LA CROSSE All StarInn Lanes Alpine 4735 Mormon Animal House W5715 Bliss rd.Coulee 110 3rd st.

Alumni 620 Gillette st. Arena

ArenaLAX.com

Barrel Inn 2005 West ave. Barrel Inn 2005 West ave. Beef & Etc. 1203 La Crosse st. Brothers Beef & Etc. 306 Pearl st. 1203 La Crosse Big Al’s st. 115 S 3rd st. Brothers 306 Pearl st.

Sunday 3 games for $5 bucketatspecial starts 8 p.m. $2.00 Domestic Silos $2.50 Jack Daniel Mixers $2.00 Goldschlager

Beer Pong $7.00 4 Cans 8-close

text

2 for 1 cans & bottles during Packer games

2.25 for mini pitcher

Italian beef w/dog meal: $6.69 closed Pizza Puff meal: free pitcher of beer $4.49 or soda with large pizza

closed

The Cavalier Cavalier The 114 5th ave. 318 318 Pearl Pearl st. st.

Chuck’s

1101 1101 La La Crosse Crosse st. st.

Coconut Joe’s 223 Pearl st.

3 games Bud Nightfor6 $5 - CL:

starts atTaps 8 p.m. bottles $1$1.75 Domestic $2$5 Craft Import Taps pitchers $2.50 Vodka Mixers $1 Shot Menu $7 22oz tbone 16oz top sirloin 9.75 sutffed sirloin 8 jack daniels tips 8 $1 shots of Doctor, cherry doctor - 8-cl Happy hour 4-6 $1.75 cans, $2 mix drinks

ARENA

1/4 barrel giveaway 8-11Buck $1 Burgers burgers

Buck Night starts 6 p.m. $2.50 Selectatimports/craft Beers $2.50 Top shelf Mixers $2 Mich Golden bottles

games for $5 Happy3Hour 64-p.m. CL- 9 p.m. M-F at Silos 7 p.m. $2starts Domestic $2.50 Sparks $2.50 Premium Silos $2.50 Three Olive Mixers $2. Goldschlager

$1 softshell tacos $1 shots of doctor, cherry doctor to 83361

free crazy bingo buy one cherry bomb get one for $1 specials batterfried cod, fries,

$6.00 AUCD

3 p.m. - midnight 25 cent hot wings $1 shots of Dr. 25 cent wings Dollar

AUCD Taps and Rails

77 -- CL CL Tequila’s Tequila’s chips chips & & salsa, salsa, $2 Coronas, $2.50 $2 Coronas, $2.50 Mike’s, Mike’s, Mike-arita Mike-arita

$3.00 Domestic Pitchers, $2.00 Shots of Cuervo, $3 Pitchers 1.75 Rails Rumpleminz, Goldschlager

Mexican Monday Guys'$2.00 Nite Corona, out 1.50 silos Corona Light, Cuervo

2 for 1$5 All Mojitos taps

77 -- midnight midnight Ladies: Ladies: 22 for for 11 Guys: $1.50 Guys: $1.50 Coors Coors and and Kul Kul Light Light bottles bottles

7 - midnight 7 - midnight $1 rail mixers $1 rail mixers $2 Bacardi mixers $2 Bacardi mixers

77 -- midnight midnight $2 $2 Malibu Malibu madness madness $2 $2 pineapple pineapple upsidedown upsidedown cake cake

closed closed

$.50 domestic taps, $1 microbrews, $3 domestic $.50 taps Domestic 3.00 pitchers, pitchers $6 microbrew pitchers

$2$2 Tuesdays, Tuesdays,including including $2 import taps,taps, beer $2bottles, bottles, import pong,pong, apps, single mixbeer apps, shot single ers,mixers, featuredfeatured shots, and shot 50 cent taps shots, and 50 cent taps

WING 1NIGHT-$1.25/LB lb. of wings = $1.25, BUFFALO, SMOKEY BBQ, PLAIN $1 PBR/PBR Light bottles $1.00 PABST PABST $1.50AND Rolling Rock,LIGHT BOTTLES$1.50 ROLLING ROCK $2 JUMBO rail mixers, BOTTLES$2.25 Bud Lights $2.25 BUD LIGHTS $1.00 $1 Shot of the WeekSHOT OF THE WEEK

chicken & veggie OPEN-CL fajitas $2 U "Call" it for two

7-CL:night football domestic beer: $1.50 $1.50 domestic Mexican beer:rails $2.00 pints, $1.50

7-CL: chicken $1.50 domestic primavera pints, $1.50 rails

7-CL: shrimp $1.50 domestic pints, burrito $2 craft pints, $1.50 rails

chicken & veggie fajitasown Build your 5200 Mormon for Mary two Bloody N3287 County Coulee OA 16oz Mug - $4.00

football night domestic beer:Pizza $1.50 Homemade Mexican beer: $2.00 & PItcher of Beer

FiestaHollow Mexicana Fox

Goal Post Gracie’s Gracie’s Howie's

1908 1128 Campbell La Crosserd. st.

Huck Finn’s The Helm 127 108 Marina 3rd st dr.

$9.00 $5.99 gyro fries & soda

1904 1908 Campbell Campbell rd. rd. 9-cl- NBC night. (Night Before Class) $3 pitchers of the beast Happy Hour 4-9 p.m.

9-cl- $5.99 gyro $3.50 Domestic fries pitchers & soda

$1.75 domestic bottles

$1.75hour domestic happy 4 -7 bottles $2 domestic cans

$1.75 domestic bottles

W4980 Knoblach Rd.

JB’s Speakeasy 717 Rose st. 12

$1.75 domestic bottles

HAPPY HOUR 6 AM - 9 AM Buy one gyro free baklava, ice beer pong 6 p.m. get one free wings 6or p.m. - 9 p.m. cream sundae $8.95 16 oz steak half price with meal Buy$1one gyro free baklava, ice 9-clrails, $2.50 $5 AUCD get one cream or sundae pitchers, Beer Pong half price with meal

$1 cherry bombs $1Keystone silos

Italian beef meal: $6.15 2 Chicago meal: Italian beefdog meal: $3.00 Bacardi mixers/ $3.45 $6.69 mojitos $2 Cherry Bombs 2 Chicago dog $1.50 $1 Bazooka Joes $5.89

meal:

bloody marys

FAC 4-8 pm.: $2 taps, $2 rails, $2.50 11Miller a.m. Lite - 4pitchers p.m $3 Bacardi mixers $3 Three Olive mixers $3 Mojitos, $2 Cherry Bombs , $3 Mojitos, $2 Cherry Bombs $6.75 joes $1 Bazooka joes $1 Bazooka 50 cent taps 4 - 7 (increases 50 cents per Great drinks! hour) $1 rails

Great drinks!

Happy Hour 12 - 7

After ClassMixers $3 $2.00 Captain Pitchers $1.75 Rails

12-3: Buy one get Jaeger, one $2.00 Malibu, $2.50 domestic $3.00 Jaeger beer Bombs Holmen Meat Locker Jerky Raffle

Wristband Happy Hour 7 - 9. $2 for all single shot mixers and all AND beers. $2.50 JUMBO CAPTAIN NightNight $2.50 JUMBO Captain Morgan mixers Wristband FLAVORED BACARDI MIXERS $5$5COLLEGE I.D. $2.50 JUMBO Bacardi Mixers (all flavors) COLLEGE I.D. $3.00 JAGER BOMBS $3 Jagerbombs general public $9$9general public Karaoke Karaoke $1 shot $1 shot specials specials

live live DJ DJ $1 shot $1 shot specials specials

7-CL: chili $1.50 domestic pints, verde $2 craft pints, $1.50 rails

HAPPY HOURshrimp EVERYDAY 3 - 6 chili chicken primavera $1.25 Bucketburrito of Domestic verde 25 Cent Wings BURGERS Cans 5 for $9.00

HAPPY specials HOUR All day (everyday!) $1.25 Old Style Light $1.50 LAX Lager/Light $1 shots of Dr.

Bloody Mary specials 10 - 2

JB’s Speakeasy $1.75 domestic Irish Hills bottles 717 Rose st.

$1 cherry bombs $1Keystone silos

pepper & egg sandwich meal: $4.50, fish sandwich meal: $4.99, pepper & egg sandwich ItalianCaptain sausage meal: $3.00 mixers/ mojitos meal: $6.15$5.00 $2 Cherry Bombs meal: Italian sausage $1 Bazooka Joes $6.69

$2.00 Cruzan Rum Mixers, $2.50 Ladies'Jameson Nite outShots, 1.50 $3.00 Raill Mixers mixers/ $2.50 X bombs

$3.00 Patron Shots $2 Pearl Street Brewery beers

Ladies Ladies Night Night buy buy one, one, get get one one free free wear wear aa bikini, bikini, drink drink free free

5200 1914 Mormon CampbellCoulee rd.

garlic

All day, everyday: $1.00 Shots of Doctor, $2.00 Cherry Bombs, $1.75 Silos of Busch Light/Coors All day Everyday: $1 Doctor $2 Silos. M-F: Happy Hour 2-6 $.50 off everything but the daily special

Topless Topless Tuesday Tuesday

Fiesta Eagle'sMexicana Nest

beans, and bread $5.50

Cosmic Bowl starts at 9Mixers p.m. $2.50 X-Rated $2 Captain Mixers $2 Premium Grain Belt $2 Snake Bites

shrimp dinner

$1 6Dr.8shots $3$1.50 Jagertaps Bombs

$1 $1 Kul Kul Light Light cans cans

411 3rd st.

Karaoke starts at $2.50 Bomb Shots happy hour $2.50 Ketel One Mixers 9 p.m. $2 Retro Beers "Your Dad's Beer"

$4.50 domestic pitchers barrel parties at cost $4.50 domestic pitchers Pitcher and Pizza $10

HAPPY HOUR 4 - 7 closed

$4 $4 full full pint pint Irish Irish Car Car Bomb Bomb

Dan’s Place

Saturday

Cosmic Bowl & 3-7

$5 bbq ribs and fries AUCE wings $5.00

bucket night 6 for $9

Bucket Night 6 beers

Import night $2 Silos starts at 7 p.m. Stop in for Value Menu too big to list here

to receive

for $9meal: Italian beef $6.15 Chicago chili dog: Italian beef meal: $3.45 Thirsty $6.69

Friday

$1.50 rail mixers

77 -- CL CL $1 $1 domestic domestic 12 12 oz oz $2 $2 Stoli Stoli mixers mixers

closed closed

Tuesday Wednesday Thursday

shots of Doctor hamburger meal: 8-Midnight grilled chicken$6 sandmeatball sandwich $3.69 wich meal: $5.29 meal: $6.15 HAPPY HOUR 3 PM - 8 hamburger PM cheeseburger Polish sausage or meal: grilled chicken meal: sandmeatball sandwich 2 dogs meal: $ 5.25 10 cent wings (9 - CL) $3.89 cheeseburger meal: $3.99 $2.50 wich meal: meal: $6.69 Wristband $1 High Life$5.29 bottles $3.89 Blatz vs. Old Style Chicago dog: Polish sausage meal: $1.50burgers, rail mixers$2.60 Tuesday 2meat Chicago dogs meal: $1.25 soup orNight saladw/dog bar makechili your own $2.25 Italian Beef orpitchers marinara $2 Guinness pints $3.89 $4.49 $5.89 FREE with entree or meal: $7.89 tacos, $4.75 taco salad cheeseburgers, $2 off spaghetti: $3.45 sandwich until 3 p.m. $2.25 margaritas, $2 large10 pizza, fries cent $1 wings Italian sausage: $4.95 $5 AUC2D $2.50 Blatz vs. Old by itself) off large taco pizza with anyHigh pizza $1 Miller Life bottles, ($3.95 Wristband night $2.50 SoCo and Jack Style pitchers

Martini Ladies' Night Martini Madness James Martini: vodka, triple $2 off all martinis sec, orange juice

114 5th ave.

CheapShots

Monday

Ask 2server 3-9: for 1 for details domestic bottles and rail drinks

Karaoke Karaoke OPEN-CL $2 U "Call" it

Ask server for details

$1.25 domestic taps HAPPY HOUR 3 - 8 GREEK ALL DAY buy one $8.95 16 appetizer oz. steak buy oneHOUR burger HAPPY get one half price appetizer half price 5 p.m. 10 p.m. get one- half price $8.95 1/2 lb. fish platter with meal 9-cl $2 bacardi $1.25 domestic taps 9-cl -$2 captain mixers, GREEK ALLmixers, DAY 9-cl $1.25 rails, buy one appetizer $2 domestic pints, $1.50 $2 bottles/cans, $3 jager appetizer buy one burger half price $1.75 bottles/cans bombs get one half price shots blackberry brandy get one half price with meal

EVERYDAY 3 -7 and 9 - 11 $1 Vodka Drinks $1.00 12 oz Dom.Taps $1.25 12oz prem. Taps $3 Orange Bombs

HAPPY HOUR 5 - 7 Steak and golf $14.95

HAPPY HOUR 5 - 7

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 174

Area food food & & drink drink specials specials ] COMMUNITY SERVICE [Area LA CROSSE

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday Wednesday

closed

$1.00 SHOT OF THE WEEK $4 DOMESTIC PITCHERS 1 LB WINGS = $1.25

Sunday Fun Day ~ Wristband Night

closed

$1 Domestic Taps & Rails 1/2 price Tequila

$2 Double Rails & All Bottles

223 Pearl st.

123 3rd st.

Pettibone Boat Club 600 S Pettibone dr.

Players

$1 off fried chicken

Kids eat free with adult

Price by Dice

2 for 1 Happy Hour ALL NIGHT LONG

214 Main St ,

Ralph's

In John's Bar 109 3rd st. N

Ringside 223 Pearl st.

Schmidty’s 3119 State rd.

Chef specials daily Mighty Meatball sub $6

CLOSED

breakfast buffet $9.95 10 a.m. - 2 p.m.

BBQ Sandwich

Karaoke @ 10 p.m. 2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10 AUCD Rail mixers @ 10 p.m.

Karaoke @ 10 p.m. 2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10 $1 Pabst cans, Dr. shots @ 10 p.m.

chicken parmesan sub $6

Italian sandwich w/ banana peppers and parmesan &6

open 4-9

Top Shots 137 S 4th st.

Yesterdays 317 Pearl st.

LA CRESCENT

Crescent Inn 444 Chestnut st.

WINONA Godfather’s 30 Walnut st.

August 6, 2009

Wristband Night & Beer Pong Tourney BBQ Night $1 off 2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10 $2 Capt. mixers $1.75 domestic beer, $1.50 Rails, $1 Pabst cans @ 10 p.m.

Southwest chicken pita $5

HAPPY HOUR 4 PM - 7 PM cheeseburger HOOP DAY!! MAKE YOUR SHOT AND YOUR ENTRÉE IS FREE!

$3.00 JUMBO Svedka Mixers $2.50 Corona bottles $2.50 Cuervo shots

$2 Jonestown shots

$3 Bacardi Mixers & Jumbo Long Islands

$3 Three Olives Mixers & Jumbo Long Islands

Pettibone Fish Fry

Prime Rib

2-4-1 Happy Hour 3 - 9 Best Damned DJ'S @ 10 p.m.

2-4-1 Happy Hour 3 - 8 Best Damned DJ'S @ 10 p.m.

Chicken salad on rye w/ lettuce, tomato, onion $5 $6.99 FISH SANDWICH FOR LUNCH, $7.99 FISH SANDWICH FOR DINNER, $9.99 ALL YOU CAN EAT FISH FRY ALL DAY

happy hour all day long! $1.00 OFF WILD WINGS, $1.00 PHILLY STEAK AND CHEESE.

LUNCH BUFFET $6.95

Buck Burgers

801 Rose st.

601 St. Andrew st.

AFTER COMEDY: PINT NIGHT $1 PINTS OF RAILS MIXERS AND DOMESTIC TAPS $2 PINTS OF CALL MIXERS AND IMPORT TAPS $3 PINTS OF TOP SHELF MIXERS

Chili Dogs

Tacos

Fish Sandwich

12 oz. T-Bone $8.99

Fish Fry $6.95

All day (everyday!) specials $3 Double Captain & Cokes $2 Double rails $1 Cans of beer

Sports Nut

Train Station BBQ

double $6.50

Tacos

120 S 3rd st.

1019 S 10th st.

$6.99 AUCE Pasta

2 for 1 Burger Night

Shooter’s

Tailgators

Saturday

Shots of Doctor $1 all day, everyday

324 Jay st.

The Library

Friday

$2 domestics and rails, 4-8

The Joint Legend’s

Thursday

happy hour all day

$4 domestic pitchers

Tacos $1.25

15 cent wings

HAPPY HOUR 10 AM - 12, 4 PM - 6 PM $2 Bacardi mixers

$2 Spotted Cow & DT Brown pints

Bucket Night 5 for $9

closed

11-3: Extra side with sandwich 4-9: $1 off rib dinner

Special varies

11-3: Barn burner $7.95 4-9: Hobo dinner (serves 2) $30.95

$1.75 light taps and Dr. shots

$1.50 Bud/Miller Lite/ PBR taps all day $1.75 rails 10 - 1

$2 domestic bottles 7 - 12, $2.50 Skyy/ Absolute mixers 10-1 $2 Dr. drinks

$1 Point special bottles

$2.50 pints Bass & Guinness

$1.75 domestic bottles

$2.25 Pearl st. pints $1.50 PBR bottles

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday Wednesday

$2 Rolling Rocks $2 domestic beer

8 - CL $1.50 rails $1.75 Bud cans

$1 shots of Dr. $2.50 Polish

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday Wednesday

ask for great eats

Fiesta Night 7 - 12 $2 tequila shots $2.50 margaritas

family buffet 5 -8 kids under 10 pay .45 cents per year of age

$1 domestic taps $3 Jager Bombs

5 domestic bottles for $10, $2 Bacardi mixers, $1.50 rail vodka mixers 10 -1

$1 Dr. shots $3 16 oz Captain mixers 11-3 $7.95 Chicken on fire 4-9: Bones & briskets $13.95

$2 Long Islands, PBR bottles, Captain mixers

15 cent wings

$1 Dr. shots $3 16 oz Captain mixers 1/2 Chicken 3 bones $12.95

$2.75 deluxe Bloodys ‘til 7, $5 lite pitchers 7 - 12

$1.75 rails $1 PBR mugs

Thursday

Friday

$2.50 Captain $2.50 Jager Bombs & Polish

$2 u-call-it (except top shelf)

Thursday

Saturday

Friday

Saturday

any jumbo, large, or large 1 topping pizza medium pizza up to 5 $9.99 toppings: $11.99 (get 2nd large for $5)

Entertainment Directory 8/6 - 8/12

Thursday, August 6

August8, continued

Cruz-In Adam Palm

7:00

North Side Oasis Flashback

9:00