In the raw by Second Supper

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LCT comedy opens local theatre season | Page 7

Volume 9, No. 177 | August 27, 2009

In the raw Writer goes udder cover in search of the truth about pasteurized milk

OUR GUIDE TO CONSUMPTION • FILM • ART • BEER • COFFEE • MUSIC • ENTERTAINMENT • BOOKS

Photo by Mary Catanese

Page 5

Social Networking

NAME AND AGE: Dawn Ashley, 49 WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Santa Cruz, CA CURRENT JOB: Barnes & Noble bookseller and Salon on George stylist DREAM JOB: Sunscreen tester LAST THING YOU GOOGLED: Tattoos IF YOU COULD LIVE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, WHERE WOULD IT BE? Any tropical island WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE? Fly a plane WHAT IS YOUR BEVERAGE OF CHOICE? Lychee Green Tea CELEBRITY CRUSH: Val Kilmer WHAT BOOK ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? Just finished "Girl Who Played with Fire" TELL US YOUR GUILTIEST PLEASURE: Hedonism TELL US A JOKE How do you eat a frog? Put one little leg over each ear. IF A GENIE GRANTED YOU ONE WISH, WHAT WOULD YOU ASK FOR? No sick children FIRST CONCERT YOU WENT TO: Sly and the Family Stone WHAT'S THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? Dark chocolate and an iron WHAT'S IN YOUR POCKETS RIGHT NOW? A ole WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PART OF SECOND SUPPER? The maze HOW DO YOU KNOW AVERY? He's my son.

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 177

Do This

Leditor It is now the 27th day of August 2009, one week until Labor Day, so have you camped in the Wisconsin wilderness yet? Truly, that’s one of the best perks of living in this state. When I lived in larger cities, people were always talking about loading up the Subaru and getting out into the woods, but here in La Crosse, where we’re flanked by bluffs and are never more than five minutes from any river, people seem to take a more passive view of the Great Outdoors. To counter this nature stasis, I suggest you read Jacob Bielanski’s Road Trip feature on page 6. Jacob has profiled a number of small towns in this semi-regular assignment, but I believe this is the first time he has covered one by tent. Like a lot of people in this region, Jacob didn’t sound too excited to visit just any ol’ stand of trees, but as he pushes himself into the Northwoods and beholds the bounty of nature, the excitement in his writing becomes palatable. I can relate to that. This weekend I visited Devils Lake State Park for the very first time, a fact that seemed to astound everyone I talked to. Yeah, I figured the place would be nice, but after pitching a tent under a grove of elms, scaling a cliff to get eye-to-wing with 25 circling hawks, leaping from quartzite into a crystal lake and gazing upon a sheet of stars besides a raging fire, I can now see what all the hubbub was about. I definitely plan on going back this autumn, as soon as the leaves change color. And speaking of changing color… check out all the tint in this issue! Second Supper is coming at ya this week in living Technicolor. Stay tuned!

the top

Lynyrd Skynyrd songs 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

"That Smell" "The Ballad of Curtis Lowe" "Freebird" "Give Me Back My Bullets" "Tuesday's Gone" "Call Me The Breeze" "Simple Man"

Things on French Island Kinds of Milk 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

1 percent Chocolate 2 percent Strawberry Coconut Whole Skim

1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

4,500 people Five bars Two tanks Two spillways U.S. Rep. Ron Kind and congressional challenger Dan Kapanke 6. One airport 7. Zero stoplights

Coming next week in Second Supper • Is bicycling legal downtown? • A look at what's new in La Crosse

Take our reader survey at http://www.surveygizmo.com/s/172767/second-supper-reader-survey

WHAT: Great River Folk Festival WHERE: UW-La Crosse campus, Wittich Field WHEN: Starts at 7:30 p.m. on Friday; continues all weekend COSTS:Vary for each event This weekend, UW-L will host the 34th annual Great River Folk Festival on Wittich Field. Originally billed as the Great River Traditional Music and Crafts Festival, the festival presents a variety of music and crafts, as well as workshops on different styles of music and songwriting, including involving political and social issues. In addition to the workshops, there also will be the festival's first-ever songwriting contest, in which the finalists will play two of their songs in front of a panel of judges to win some fabulous prizes! Of course, it wouldn't be a music festival without, well ... music! Friday night will feature Greg Brown in concert, while Saturday will give local artists (like our very own Nick Shattuck) a chance to perform during the day, all leading up to the evening concert featuring the likes of Small Potatoes, Pert Near Sandstone, Peter Mayer, and Greg Herriges and the Telluric Currents. Sunday's evening concert will feature String Ties, Tom Pease, Leela and Ellie Grace, and Amy Speace. (See a complete schedule on page 12.) A Saturday and Sunday pass, including concert tickets for the evenings, runs $35, while the day passes, excluding concert tickets, cost $5 for adults and $1 for children ages 5 to 17. The individual concert tickets cost $15 for adults and $1 for children. So come on out and enjoy a weekend filled with music, crafts and fun!

— Ben Clark

— Adam Bissen

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Mommy Madness Second Supper 614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601 Phone: (608) 782-7001 E-mail: editor@secondsupper.com Online: secondsupper.com

Same-sex Mommies By Amber Miller

amber.miller@secondsupper.com

Everyone has their own approach to parenting, and certainly all parents experience different challenges. It’s a whole other ballgame, though, when the challenges are external to your family — when those issues fall into the much larger and more powerful categories of legality and social acceptance. When a straight couple wants to have a child, they usually just … you know, go ahead and have one. If they’re married too, then they’re all set; no legal issues to battle, no social stigma to overcome. But it’s not nearly as simple for a queer family. The first hurdle to leap, obviously, is deciding how to physically have a child. Adoption is an option, but depending on what state you live in, it can be very difficult for same-sex couples to be granted an adoption. It seems a little backwards when there are so many children with no family and there are plenty of loving couples who want so badly to have kids, but that’s apparently irrelevant to the powers that be. Gay fellas can go the surrogacy route, but it can be really expensive unless they have a really lovely friend who is willing to carry a baby for them. Lesbian couples have that benefit; they can at least carry the baby themselves. Still, having children is extra-tricky (as if it’s not tricky enough) for queer families, and I talked to a lesbian mom to better understand that perspective. Sara and her partner, Ally, have been together for 12 years and are parents of two boys, Josh and Sam (note: names have been changed to protect privacy). One of the most frequent things they have to deal with, and the most frustrating, is that people don’t consider them a family. “People assume we’re not a family. People always have to ask, ‘Well, who’s the mom?” said Sara. “Kids always ask, ‘Who’s the real mom?’ Even adults that I don’t know well will ask who carried the babies.” It can be tough to get people to understand that a queer family is just a different kind of family. No family is the same; doesn’t everybody think their family is the craziest/strangest/most dysfunctional, after all? She usually just says that she and Ally are equal parents; who carried whom is irrelevant. And if you think about it, if our society didn’t place such a sick emphasis on gender roles, would it even matter in straight couples? I mean, sure there’s a physical connection that is experienced when you carry a baby, especially if you choose to breastfeed, but it doesn’t make you more of a parent. If that’s what we believed as a society, then we wouldn’t consider dads valid parents, and we certainly wouldn’t consider adoptive parents to be “real” parents. I asked her if her kids have had to deal with any teasing or harassment from other kids, and luckily, they haven’t had to deal with downright meanness, mostly just curiosity. When he was in middle school, their older son had to deal with kids feeling sorry for him, of

all things. But if you look at it realistically, Josh had two parents who still loved each other and who weren’t going through a divorce, unlike a good handful of his classmates. His teachers did tell Sara, though, that Josh probably had it a little easier than previous kids from queer families. Rapid social change, perhaps? Probably not; Josh was just a big guy that no one wanted to mess with — a nice bonus, I’m sure. Sam is still pretty young, so most of his classmates are still…not jerks. It’s a different for Sam than it is for Josh, though, because Sam was conceived through the use of a sperm bank, whereas Josh has a dad. “It’s coming to terms with the fact that all of his friends can talk about having a dad, and he doesn’t have that. It’s just figuring out the whole situation, why doesn’t he have a dad when almost all the other kids do?” But he knows that he has two parents and that he’s loved, and he does have plenty of significant men in his life. “We’ve always taught our kids that people have different kinds of families.” Sometimes people who can’t accept the possibility of unconventional family structure suggest that queer parents lead to psychologically disturbed children, that it’s not right for kids to grow up with same-sex parents. Studies show, however, that kids from queer families are either apparently unaffected or, interestingly, that they’re better off. Kids with same-sex parents have proven to be more resourceful, empathetic, and accepting of diversity, which doesn’t sound disturbing to me. I asked Sara if she thinks there any characteristics that her sons possess that might be a result of their queer family. “We’re a pretty unconventional family in a lot of ways, and they are more accepting because of that. They’re both very empathetic,” she explained. “We talk a lot about our emotions and that kind of thing, maybe more than some boys get the opportunity to.” “We’ve worked really hard to raise our children as people, not just as boys,” said Sara when I asked her if it was especially difficult to raise two boys as two female parents. “We do everything we can to not place gender restraints on them.” Amen to that. My perspective has always been to expose my son to everything, not just typical “boy” stuff. Children can only benefit from having many varied experiences, and gender roles are not only antiquated, but damaging. There’s a lot of talk about boys and girls being “hardwired” differently, but Sara thinks that’s “mostly just conditioning. There’s such a blurred line between genders that it’s hard to believe that anything is hardwired.” “In general, we’ve felt like La Crosse is a pretty decent place to be a queer family. We haven’t had a whole lot of trouble here; we’ve been lucky. In a smaller town, I don’t think the experience would be the same. It’s no Massachusetts, but it’s no Alabama either.”

Second Supper is a community weekly newspaper published 48 times a year, on Thursdays, by Bartanese Enterprises LLC.

Publisher: Roger Bartel roger.bartel@secondsupper.com Editor in Chief: Adam Bissen adam.bissen@secondsupper.com Student Editor: Ben Clark benjamin.clark@secondsupper.com Sales: Mike Keith mike.keith@secondsupper.com

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Second Supper vol. 9, issue 177

In the raw

Writer goes udder cover in search of truth about pasteurized milk

By Bob Treu

Special Correspondent Dotty doesn’t appear to be someone engaged in criminal activity. She looks like a healthy and energetic housewife, with a big Wisconsin grin and sweet voice. She and her family live in an upscale home surrounded by trees and good neighbors. She drives the kids around in a SUV. But on a regular basis she leaves the suburban streets and takes the back roads to make an illegal purchase. She has even made her way into the Minnesota hills to buy it. The illegal substance? A couple of gallons of raw milk. It’s illegal to sell raw milk in about half the states, including Wisconsin and Minnesota, and there is a federal law prohibiting the shipping of raw milk across state lines for commercial purposes. This is because official health organizations think unpasteurized milk is dangerous. Mariam agrees. She grew up on a dairy farm in Wisconsin but didn’t drink raw milk. A relative came down with undulant fever, so Miriam's mother was determined to protect her family. At first she boiled their milk, which Mariam says gave it a strange taste. Later they bought a home pasteurizer. Mariam went on to become a nurse, where respect for microbes was part of her world view. Even now, in her 60s, she vows, “I wouldn’t let the stuff pass my lips.” Dotty, on the other hand, ardently defends raw milk, citing its nutritional value and pointing out no one in her family has fallen ill from drinking it. “We live in a world laden with chemicals and over-processed,” she says. “Raw milk makes me feels safe.” A lot of people think she is wrong, but what she does isn’t necessary illegal. Wisconsin law prohibits the sale of raw milk, but it makes exceptions. A farmer can sell to family members and to others who have a substantial interest in the operation. To pasteurize or not to pasteurize? If you grew up in Wisconsin anytime before the 1980s, grazing dairy animals were part of your landscape, like green and gold caps, but that’s no longer the case. If you see cattle grazing, most of these creatures are in beef herds, and the rest are mainly heifers who haven’t begun their productive lives. The big dairy herds, which often contain more than 100 cows, are kept confined in pens, wallowing in unsanitary conditions where they are fed high-tech diets designed for maximum milk production rather than the health and happiness of the animals. If you have a soft spot for animals, you might want to drink organic milk, which comes from animals that graze happily in the old fashioned way. Or you could drink raw milk from an organic farm. To get a better sense of a complex situation, it is always good to visit the source, in this case a herd of dairy cattle and the people who work with them. Dotty gets most of her milk from Jordan, and, with her intercession,

August 27, 2009

he was willing to talk about what he does. Besides his dairy operation, he has a herd of beef cattle, all of which live healthy, organic lives. He also produces and sells a chopping machine that is widely used. He didn’t have much time to talk before he had to run off and move some cattle from one pasture to another. Jordan describes himself as a political conservative who is bothered by the intervention of government bureaucrats in his business, and he defends raw milk by pointing out that the pasteurization process depletes the level of vitamin D. He mentioned a recent report that linked insufficient vitamin D to attention deficiency disorder. Although Jordan sells some raw milk, most of what he produces goes to an Organic Valley dairy. His farms are part of the Organic Valley co-operative, which keeps his income stable. If you buy Organic Valley milk, you pay more, but you also are helping small farmers survive in the face of the corporate competition that has run so many family farms out of business. The dairy that buys milk from Jordan, and other certified organic farmers, is located about 15 miles from La Crosse, where its operations are overseen by Jeff Kragt. He has a degree in dairy science from South Dakota State, and he knows his stuff. When he shows people the facility, he and his guests wear shower caps and white smocks. Jeff also wears a special plastic cover over his beard. It’s a very clean place, filled with elegant machinery, and he can show you how milk is brought to precisely 161 degrees and held there for 15 minutes to accomplish pasteurization. “Just hot enough to kill the pathogens,” he explains. He believes in the process. Debate has no clear winner The introduction and growth of pasteurization in the U.S. is a good story in itself. In 1893, New York City was teeming with immigrants and the conditions in which they lived were uncomfortable and filthy. The infant mortality rate was very high, a fact that caught the attention of Nathan Straus, a Jewish department store owner (Macy’s, actually) with some money to spend on a good cause. That year he opened 18 milk stations in the city to make pasteurized milk available to infants. Infant mortality dropped immediately and precipitously. This was the first such project in the United States, but other cities in the East soon began similar projects with the same result. By the 1920s a national program of pasteurization had begun. Given the success of pasteurization, the raw milk movement might seem a bit hopeless. On their side, however, we are no longer faced with the unsanitary conditions Nathan Straus dealt with. The chances of becoming sick from drinking milk produced at an organic farm are probably relatively small. But there are occasional incidences of milk-born illness. There was a recent outbreak in California of campylobacter, which was traced to a particular producer of raw milk. Sixteen people be-

ABOVE: A worker connects the line to unload raw milk from a tanker at Organic Valley Family of Farms on Aug. 20. The milk will be pasteurized before being sold. Some farmers, however, have found a growing market for raw milk, as well. LEFT: The "Got Milk" campaign, launched in 1993 and still displayed on this area farm building, is credited with helping increase the consumption of milk. The slogan has been uttered by a variety of celebrities as part of the campaign. Photos by Mary Catanese

came ill, and the interesting point is that they were of all ages and had been drinking raw milk for a wide range of times. Other organisms that show up in raw milk are brucellosis (undulant fever), listeria and E. coli. Raw milk advocates point out that people become ill from processed food as well. They also believe that “artificial vitamin D” doesn’t give pasteurized milk the same nutritional value as raw milk. In fact, some sources claim that pasteurization adds too much vitamin D and is also dangerous. A quick walk through the health food section of the local bookstore doesn’t help much. In fact, it makes the whole discourse seem like news from the Tower of Babel. One source labels giving infants raw milk child abuse, while another one sees raw milk as a sattoric food with spiritual benefits. To help make a sensible decision about

whether or not to drink raw milk (or pasteurized for that matter), you might consider the following analogy. You drop candy on the floor but pick it up and eat it anyway. You probably won’t become ill. But if your mother sees you, she will have a fit. She knows that while the odds may be on your side, the effects of coming up with the wrong number are too serious to ignore. For a fair comparison, the candy should have the promise of a special health benefit. So, the next time you drop the candy and she’s not there, you eat it anyway. We all need to do our own calculations. Bob Treu is a retired professor who taught English at the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse. In his youth, he helped smuggle yellow margarine. Send your comments about this story to editor@secondsupper.com.

Road Trips

Where the Water Falls The author takes his first real trip to the Northwoods — and revels in this secret side of Wisconsin By Jacob Bielanski

jacob.bielanski@secondsupper.com It took an old, Chicago-area friend’s Facebook posting for me to reflect on just how much I didn’t — and don’t — know of Wisconsin. When he posted an update about his family’s trip to their cabin in “the Northwoods,” I wanted to fire off a pithy, condescending remark about how the novel nature of Wisconsin culture to residents of northern Illinois. Pfft. I LIVE it, buddy. What would a FIB know about “the Northwoods,” anyway? Then again, what the hell did I know? My last road trip to the Leinenkugels brewery in Chippewa Falls was as far north as I’d ever found myself in my adult life. Because I am neither a hunting nor fishing enthusiast, the land north of Black River Falls (which was, according to historical reports, the “start” of the Northwoods) was more foreign to me than the neighborhoods of Chicago. Luckily, I was ready to drive a stake into the heart of this geographic ignorance, by way of Google Maps’ “terrain” function. Nestled in the vast, seemingly flat (compared to the Coulee Region, at least) landscape north of Hayward lies a strange, snake-like anomaly of the terrain. Eying it on one’s computer screen, you can’t help but wonder how beautiful those cliffs must be in person. After a year of staring at that map and merely wondering, we finally loaded up the car. Journeying north of Chippewa Falls, one begins to wonder how much of northern Wisconsin is actually occupied by Wisconsin residents. Rolling down Highway 63, onto Highway 13 and other back roads, the traffic consisted of mostly foreign license plates. I suspect that, when winter rolls around, the Northwoods are occupied by a handful of business owners, the remainder of the property owners safely nestled away in the comfort of their ranch homes in the suburbs of Chicago and the Twin Cities. But who am I to judge? To be hon-

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est, I’m quite a fairweather Wisconsin fan myself, cursing Odin when a snowstorm physically keeps my car from making it to an editorial meeting (true story); yet when I crack open a New Glarus specialty and remember that our cheapest cheeses are a high-end “imports” in other states, I’m all too quick to sing Wisconsin’s praises. As we pushed farther north, past Hayward en route to Mellen, I began to feel that my Wisconsin plates were a filthy lie — were true Northwoods' residents to engage me in conversation, they would surely sniff me out as one of those southern urbanites, with my broadband Internet, slick city-talk and whatnot. Maybe it was just me. It was outside of Mellen that I learned that the primary objective of Google Maps’ “directions” is to kill people. The directions took us down roads that didn’t exist, to locations that were only of significance to the GPS units of rescue squads — rescue squads that are seeking the bodies of travelers who chose to use Google directions instead of, say, the highway signs that point you to directly to Mellen. Being directed miles down a dirt road is frustrating — at worst — when you have a business meeting for which you’re late; when the “low fuel” light is on and you’re hours from home in a desolate wilderness, it becomes the plot for a horror movie (directed by Rob Zombie). For the record, getting to Copper Falls State Park is simple — set your sights on Mellen, Wisconsin. With about 800 people, the village of Mellen has only a few things: gas stations, bars and Copper Falls State Park. There are plenty of signs to direct you to all of them. Do not use the DNR “address” for Copper Falls as your end point. Once we had successfully escaped from our horror-movie plot, we were free to engage in some outdoor merriment — namely, pitching a tent, starting a fire, roasting some s’mores and — most importantly — walking some trails. I wish I could say that the s’mores were for the kid, but … no. Too much sugar. Besides, s’mores are best paired with cheap whiskey and bad conversation; our 1-year-old can barely tolerate either. The campsites themselves were remarkably secluded, little hollows delicately

Copper Falls State Park in Mellen, Wis., photographed by Jamie Peacock carved from a vast swath of forest. The sites were grouped into sections of five or so, a main artery of road connecting the smaller, individual loops together. Our proximity to others was significantly more comfortable than it should have been, with 20 to 30 feet of light forest separating our sites. If that wasn’t enough privacy, one could opt for campsites 50-55, which give campers the opportunity to shoulder their load about 50 to 100 feet into the woods. If that’s not enough privacy, a few backtrail sites are a found a 2-mile hike into the woods. Bring your bear repellent. What they don’t tell you in the brochures is that the fun stuff (i.e. the FALLS) are a pretty decent hike from the campsites. Like the truly decadent, lazy Americans we are, we opted to drive our car to the trailhead. Will Mother Nature ever forgive us for this unnecessary expenditure of fossil fuel? Hopefully she entered the screaming, cranky child as evidence before she cast judgment. The trails themselves were the impressive efforts of the Civil Conservation Corps, a downright socialist program that put World War I veterans to work, doing silly things like preserving our most beautiful natural resources. Their work, rapidly approaching 100 years old, stands as new and fresh as the day they dug the post holes. Giant logs — likely harvested from the park itself — make for a “safety rail” that is both functional and aesthetically pleasing. At the more steep inclines, locally quarried shale is use to construct steps that take your breath away — quite literally, you’ll be ascending or descending hundreds of these things in

the short, 1.7-mile trail. Off of the trails, vistas are built to admire the Falls themselves. Words cannot easily describe the alien beauty of the Bad River as it violently carves a course through basalt rock. Deep gorges create dizzying views of violent waters crashing 12 feet (Brownstone Falls) to 30 feet (Tyler Forks) down cliffs. In this tiny place, the most extreme forces of water and fire continue to engage in an eons-olds battle, the lava flows of ancient times making a much more difficult foe for the flowing water than Wisconsin’s usual rock of choice: sandstone. We wanted to just see “a little bit,” but the trail was mesmerizing, drawing us farther and farther. At each stop, a new magnificent view of this treasure presented itself. This is the kind of stuff they put on the labels of shitty beers to convince you that the water comes from “God’s Country” or something. Before we knew it, we had looped back to the trail’s start, our knees aching, our hearts racing — maybe due to the trail, perhaps because of our shock. I didn’t know how I would tell people about this place; my wife didn’t think pictures would do it justice. As we meandered down the trails, we encountered a man in NASCAR pajama pants walking with his son. He stopped to talk to us, proud that he and his son — like us — had gone to Copper Falls on a whim. Before he’d even introduced himself (they’re from Manitowoc; his wife has a mail route, that’s why she couldn’t make it) he gestured toward the 100-foot drop that offered a view of the largest falls, “Can you believe this is in Wisconsin?” No. No, I cannot.

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 177

The great escape Comedies land key role in local theatre troupes' season

Mel Carroll, kisses Jeremy Day as they rehearse a scene from "She Loves Me" at the La Crosse Community Theatre on Aug. 18.

By Roger Bartel roger.bartel@secondsupper.com Rebounding from the Great Depression, people in the 1930s needed a laugh. They needed to forget, albeit temporarily, about failing stocks, rising unemployment, low wages and wars overseas. The arts provided the escape: Daffy Duck and Snow White, for example, made their film debuts during that desperate time. J.R. Tolkien published “The Hobbit,” millions tuned in as Arturo Toscanini conducted the NBC Symphony Orchestra on radio for the first time, and the Marx Brothers were moving from Broadway to film. Rebounding from a great recession, peo-

August 27, 2009

ple in 2009 also need a laugh. They need to forget about failing stocks, low employment, wage reductions and wars overseas. And they again can turn to the arts for an escape. It’s not too surprising then that comedies — and, somewhat surprisingly, the Marx Brothers —play a large role as the three local theatre troupes prepare to raise the curtain on their 2009-2010 seasons. "With the economy in kind of tough shape right now, we consciously made it a lighter, happier season," explained Greg Parmeter, artistic director for La Crosse Community Theatre. "We geared it that way." Laughs start early LCT opens its Season of Love and Laughter, as well as the local amateur theatre season, Sept. 4 with “She Loves Me,” a musical romantic comedy. The season really gets rolling, however, in October, when each of the three troupes stages a comedy. Viterbo University’s Fine Arts Department opens its five-play season Oct. 16 with “Room Service,” a Broadway production that Marx Brothers fans also will remember as the brothers’ only film with Lucille Ball. "It's a fun way to open the season," said Rick Walters, department chair. The 1930s play and humor presents a

unique stylistic challenge for today's students and "for audiences, a great deal of fun," he said. The Department of Theatre Arts of UWLa Crosse, meanwhile, opens its season the same day, with the misleadingly named comedy and one of the edgier presentations of the season, “Escape from Happiness,” which more than likely will provide an escape instead from drab realities. Beth Cherne, department chair, says the play is more appropriate for mature audiences who appreciate the humor of Monty Python or South Park. It focuses on the tribulations of perhaps the most dysfunctional family ever. LCT joins the October fun with “Escanaba in Da Moonlight,” by Jeff Daniels. With so many people here who understand the culture of the Northwoods and hunting, it's "a perfect play for this community," according to Parmeter. Something for all ages The laughter then dies down somewhat until February, when Viterbo presents “Anton in Show Business,” by Jane Martin. It tells the tale of a troupe struggling to present Anton Chekhov’s classic drama, “The Three Sisters,” which is also on Viterbo's playbill later this season. Also in February, “Into the Woods,” a musical based on a book by James Lapine about fairy tale what-ifs, should produce some laughs for the UW-L audiences, as will “Miss Nelson

is Missing,” by Harry Allard and James Marshall, a children’s show in April. Cherne warned, however, the plays are starkly different. "Into the Woods" is a dark comedy that goes beyond the fairy tales we know. "What happens after 'happily ever after'" isn't always what we expect, Cherne said. "Miss Nelson is Missing," on the other hand, targets families and children. LCT also has production for the kids, “Monster in the Closet,” in June, but it should be adults-only for “Jake’s Women,” a Neil Simon comedy, in March. Although the male's role is hefty, the "reals gems" are the seven female roles, Parmeter said. More serious topics, too Intertwined with the comedies this season, of course, is a wide variety of other plays and musicals. There are classics such as “Camelot” and “A Christmas Carol,” characters as diverse as ducks (“Honk!”), serial killers (“Frozen”) and presidential assassins (“Assassins”), tales of love and romance (“Eurydice” and “Chess”), messages of tolerance and acceptance (“Honk” and “Driving Miss Daisy”), and settings as different as provincial Russia (“Three Sisters”) and New York’s East Village (“Rent”). See local theatre schedule on the following pages. For ticket information, including season tickets, please contact the respective box offices.

Title: “Escanaba in Da Moonlight” Title: “She Loves Me”

By: Jeff Daniels

Title: “A Christmas Carol”

Title: “Anton in Show Business”

Where: 118 5th Ave. N.

By: Charles Dickens; adapted by Barbara Field

By: Jane Martin

When: Sept. 4–20

Troupe: La Crosse Community Theatre

When: Dec. 4- 6, Dec. 10-13

Where: 118 5th Ave. N.

Phone: (608) 782-5545

Where: Toland Theatre, Center for the Arts

Where: La Croix Black Box Theatre

Troupe: La Crosse Community Theatre

Web site: lacrossecommunitytheatre.org

Troupe: UW-La Crosse

Troupe: Viterbo University

Phone: (608) 782-5545

Summary: Reuben Soady is the oldest hunter in his family never to bring down a buck while hunting with his family in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula. He plans to do whatever it takes to change that as the clan gathers at its ramshackle deer camp for another Opening Day.

Phone: (608) 785-8522

Phone: (608) 796-3100

Web site: www.uwlax.edu/theatre/

Web site: www.viterbo.edu/theatre

Summary: This holiday classic needs no explanation. Ebenezer Scrooge learns his lesson and changes his life.

Summary: This comedy, which questions the current state of the arts, tells the story of an ill-fated production of Anton Chekhov’s “The Three Sisters.” Nothing is sacred in this hit from the 24th Humana Festival of New American Plays.

By: Sheldon Harnick and Jerry Bock

Web site: lacrossecommunitytheatre.org Summary: Georg (Jeremy Day) and Amalia (Jen Roberdeau) are feuding clerks in a European perfumery during the 1930s who secretly find solace in their anonymous romantic pen pals; little knowing their respective correspondents are none other than each other.

When: Oct. 23–Nov. 8

Title: “Honk!”

Title: “Frozen” By: Bryony Lavery

Title: “Escape from Happiness”

When: Nov. 11-15

By: George F. Walker

Where: Frederick Theatre, Morris Hall

When: Oct. 16, 17, 18, 22, 23 24, 25

Troupe: UW-La Crosse

Where: Toland Theatre, Center for the Arts Troupe: UW-La Crosse Phone: (608) 785-8522 Web site: www.uwlax.edu/theatre/ Summary: “Escape from Happiness” is a “gritty, wild comedy” that takes place in the kitchen of an old, slightly rundown house in a not-so-classy section of a large city. It is part of George F. Walker's "East End Trilogy," three comedies about the same family.

Phone: (608) 785-8522 Web site: www.uwlax.edu/theatre/ Summary: Using monologues, the script tells the story of three main characters: a serial killer, who kidnaps and murders a young girl; the murdered girl's mother; and a New York psychiatrist, who examines the killer.

By: George Stiles (music) and Anthony Drewe (book, lyrics) When: Dec. 11–20 Where: 118 5th Ave. N. Troupe: La Crosse Community Theatre Phone: (608) 782-5545 Web site: lacrossecommunitytheatre.org Summary: Honk! is a musical adaptation of the Hans Christian Andersen story “The Ugly Duckling” and incorporates a message of tolerance.

Title: Christmas Cabaret at the Pumphouse When: Dec. 11-12

By: Allen Boretz and John Murray

By: James Lapine (book), Stephen Sondheim (music, lyrics) When: Feb. 26- 28, March 4-7 Where: Toland Theatre, Center for the Arts Troupe: UW-La Crosse Phone: (608) 785-8522 Web site: www.uwlax.edu/theatre/ Summary: The musical is inspired by Bruno Bettelheim's 1976 book, “The Uses of Enchantment.” The plots of several Brothers Grimm fairy tales intertwine as the audience learns consequences of the characters' wishes and quests.

Troupe: Viterbo University

Title: “Chess”

By: John Weidman (book), Stephen Sondheim (music, lyrics)

Phone: (608) 796-3100

By: Benny Andersson and Bjorn Ulvaeus (music); Tim Rice (lyrics)

Web site: www. viterbo.edu/theatre

When: Feb. 26–28 Where: Fine Arts Center Main Theatre

Where: La Croix Black Box Theatre

Troupe: Viterbo University

Troupe: Viterbo University Phone: (608) 796-3100

When: Oct. 16–18

Web site: www.viterbo.edu/theatre

Where: Fine Arts CenterMain Theatre

Summary: Despite its exploration of the history of presidential assassinations in the U.S., this is a musical that tells an electrifying story.

Troupe: Viterbo University

Title: “Into the Woods”

Title: “Assassins”

When: Nov. 13–14, Nov. 19–22

Tile: “Room Service”

When: Feb. 4–6

Title: “Driving Miss Daisy”

Phone: (608) 796-3100

By: Alfred Uhry

Web site: viterbo.edu/theatre

When: Jan. 29–Feb. 14.

Summary: The story involves a romantic triangle between two top players, an American and a Russian, in a world chess championship, and a woman who manages one and falls in love with the other - all in the context of a Cold War struggle.

Where: 118 5th Ave. N.

Phone: (608) 796-3100

Troupe: La Crosse Community Theatre

Web site: www.viterbo.edu/theatre

Phone: (608) 782-5545

Summary: In this classic comedy, a Broadway producer of questionable ethics will do almost anything to forestall eviction from his hotel room, where he is holed up with a troupe of hungry actors and an out-of-control room service bill.

Web site: lacrossecommunitytheatre.org Summary: After yet another car wreck, Jewish widow Daisy Wertham is forced to rely on the services of a chauffeur, a black man named Hoke. The two slowly grow ever closer and forge a friendship that transcends their differences.

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 177

Title: “The Three Sisters” Title: “Jake's Women”

Title: “Miss Nelson Is Missing”

By: Neil Simon

By: Harry Allard and James Marshall

When: March 12–28

By: Anton Chekhov

Title: “Monster in the Closet”

When: April 23–24, April 29–May 2

By: Angela D. Stewart

When: April 10

Where: La Croix Black Box Theatre

Troupe: La Crosse Community Theatre

Where: Frederick Theatre, Morris Hall

Troupe: Viterbo University

Phone: (608) 782-5545

Troupe: UW-La Crosse

Web site: lacrossecommunitytheatre.org

Phone: (608) 785-8522

Summary: Jake, who is better writing about life than living it, daydreams about the diverse women in his life. The comic and moving flashbacks are interrupted, however, by visits from the women. Alan Alda portrayed Jake on Broadway.

Web site: www.uwlax.edu/theatre/

Where: 118 5th Ave. N.

Title: Empty Space Theatre

Summary: The students in Miss Nelson’s class are out of control. When a mean substitute takes over the classroom, the students slowly realize how good they had it with kind and caring Miss Nelson.

Where: 118 5th Ave. N. Troupe: La Crosse Community Theatre

Phone: (608) 796-3100

Phone: (608) 782-5545

Web site: www.viterbo.edu/theatre Summary: After enduring 11 years away from their native Moscow while trapped in a provincial town after the death of their father, three sisters pin their hopes for return on their brother.

Troupe: Viterbo University

Where: Toland Theatre, Center for the Arts

Phone: (608) 796-3100

Troupe: UW-La Crosse

Web site: www.viterbo.edu/theatre

Phone: (608) 785-8522

Summary: Short plays simply staged

Web site: www.uwlax.edu/theatre/ Summary: The play retells and alters the classic myth of Orpheus. It is told from the perspective of his wife, Eurydice, who dies on her wedding day and then faces the choice of remaining in Hades with her father or returning to earth with Orpheus.

Gift Certificates Books By Local Authors Best Sellers La Crosse History Books Wisconsin History Boo ks Do It Yourself Books Childrens Books Craftsman Books

608.782.3424

Do w n t o w n L a Crosse

Pearl Street Books

Summary: Emily and and her friend Stephanie need to find a way to capture the monster in Emily’s closet in this family show.

By: Jonathan Larson

When: April 23-25, April 29-May 2

Where: La Croix Black Box Theatre

Web site: lacrossecommunitytheatre.org

Title: “Rent” (tentative)

Title: “Eurydice” By: Sarah Ruhl

When: March 19-20

August 27, 2009

When: June 18–June 27

Title: “Camelot”

When: June 25-27, June 30-July 3

By: Alan Jay Lerner and Frederic Loewe

Where: Toland Theatre, Center for the Arts

When: May 7–May 23

Troupe: UW-La Crosse

Where: 118 5th Ave. N.

Phone: (608) 785-8522

Troupe: La Crosse Community Theatre

Web site: www.uwlax.edu/theatre/

Phone: (608) 782-5545

Summary: Jonathan Larson's Pulitzer Prize-winning Broadway musical follows a year in the lives of seven friends living in New York's East Village.

Web site: lacrossecommunitytheatre.org Summary: They’re all here: King Arthur, Lancelot, Guenevere, Mordred and the mythic Knights of the Round Table in a classic love story.

Leagues Starting

SOON!

We offer all kinds of leagues *Pool *Darts *Foosball *Silver Strike Bowling *Golden Tee Golf La Crosse rosters are due Sept. 15th Call 608-782-7181 ext.235 for details

Bring this coupon in and get:: 10% off any regular priced Pool or Dart Accessories

Concert preview

Beer

Lynyrd Skynyrd

Lynyrd Skynyrd. The name conjures up the most decadent and excessive parts of the '70s. Hard living badasses with guitar riffs for days. But just like the Trans Am and Burt Reynolds, they are the epitome of coolness from another era that just seem sort of odd when they pop up in contemporary times. Odd, but nonetheless, when I heard they were playing nearby, I pumped my fist in the air and grunted out a "Hell yeah!!" What makes Skynyrd so intriguing to me is their lineup. Back in their '70s heyday, they had three guitarists, a bass player, drummer, keyboardist and lead singer. Of those original seven, five have since died, one was

charged with sexual battery for molesting his two daughters, thus leaving one of the guitarists as the only original member of that motley crew of southern rockers. While I'm sure all of these replacement members are quality musicians, there is just something ironic about seeing a bunch of guys playing songs from 35 years ago who weren't even in that band. Then you see a picture of them, a bunch of haggard middle-aged guys who've been rode hard and put away wet, and you know everything is going to be alright when they rip into an encore of "Sweet Home Alabama." This is sure to be the most gloriously trashy event in these parts all summer. The people watching alone is bound to be worth the price of admission. On a side note, the name Lynyrd Skynyrd was taken from their high school gym teacher in Florida, a guy named Leonard Skinnard, who gave them gruff for being a bunch of long hairs. The first band I was in was briefly called Herb Long's Beard, named after the State Road Elementary School P.E. icon. Nothing would make me more giddy than to see Mr. Long throwing up the horns front row center screaming out "FRREEEEEEEBIIRRRRDDDDD!!!"

— Shuggypop Jackson

Brooks & Dunn This may surprise some ardent Second Supper readers, but when I was a kid Brooks & Dunn was my favorite band. I had their first three albums — Brand New Man, Hard Workin’ Man, and Waiting on Sundown — on cassette tape, and when Borderline dropped in 1996, I made sure to cop it on CD. I’m not ashamed to admit any of this, especially since it was Hootie and the Blowfish and Matchbox 20 that pulled me out of my country music phase. But even though I would soon drift into the heathen worlds of rock & roll, hip-hop and Phish, Brooks & Dunn continued to dominate the scene without me. In the decade since we parted, I’d catch a Brooks & Dunn song from time to time — mostly that patriotic crap you couldn’t avoid during the Bush years — but I heard their latest single this weekend while scanning a car stereo, and I was flabbergasted. It sounded like the sort of thing your uncle would blast in his Trans-Am while peeling out of the parking lot on the last day of high school in 1976. Suddenly, this whole double bill with Lynyrd Skynyrd began to make a lot more sense. Then I fired up the jukebox on brooks-dunn.com and made an interesting discovery: Sometime after I left country music for lame rock & roll, Brooks & Dunn appeared to do the same thing with their songwriting. But not for much longer. Just minutes ago I learned what diehard B&D fans had known since August 10: the duo will part ways after

next year. This has put me in an odd emotional spot, just during the course of researching three paragraphs. I went from nostalgic to angry to sad, and that would be a testament to any decent country song ever. So if you should make it up to Fort McCoy for the most rocking bill of the summer, and the biggest country stars on Earth play “Neon Moon,” the saddest song they ever wrote, shed a tear for me. Oh, and you can "Boot Scootin' Boogie" for me, too.

— Adam Bissen

Brooks & Dunn and Lynyrd Skynyrd will perform Friday, Aug. 28 at Constitution Park in Ft. McCoy. Tickets are $45 in advance and $50 day of show. Opening act Halfway to Hazard will take the stage at 6:30 p.m. with the beer garden and food booths opening at 3 p.m. For more information visit http://www.mccoymwr.com/

BEER

Chainsaw Ale Left Hand Brewing Company Longmont, Colorado

Review

So it was my birthday yesterday, and if you thought I was crazy about beer the rest of the year, you should see me on my celebration day. There’s just something so kingly about stockpiling your favorite beverages. I had been holding on to a pair of Belgian Trappist ales — a Westmalle and an Achel, for those scoring at home — and a buddy gifted me some delicious New Glarus Dancing Man Wheats (or at least that’s what I told myself when I found them in my refrigerator). The rest of the brews I picked up at my favorite Madison liquor store, Riley’s Wines of the World, which had cans of Capital Brewery’s U.S. Pale Ale and cheap bottles of its underappreciated Rustic Ale, the perfect beverages for camping at Devils Lake. But the real treats were the selections from Lake Louie, an Arena, Wisconsin-based microbrewery that many consider the finest in the state. It’s too bad their distribution reach isn’t wider, because after quaffing Louie’s Reserve, a sublime scotch ale, I’m close to conceding the title. Still, the beer I chose to uncork at midnight wasn’t from Wisconsin, and it wasn’t even something I’d ever heard of before. It was a 22-ounce bottle of the Left Hand Brewing Company’s Chainsaw Ale, the best liquid cake I’d ever drank and the most indulgent $15 I spent all year. While I write most of my beer reviews with a pint by my side, this one comes through the haze of memory. As such, I’m not really

sure what the Chainsaw Ale looks like, as I sipped Appearance 6 it out of a dark brown bottle, but I’m just go- Aroma: 8 ing to guess that this one appeared plum. The Taste: 8 aroma evoked overly ripe dark fruits, which Mouthfeel: 7 is probably a symptom of its high alcohol con- Drinkability: 7 tent. A smoky sweetness of toasted molasses dominated the nose, and Total: 36 while hints of piney hops flittered in and out, the Chainsaw Ale has a base of malts and is closer to the style of a “winter warmer” than most beers I’ve tried from this brewery. The taste, fittingly, was sweet and complex, like a birthday cake where figs and brown sugar dominate and the booze adds a celebratory rummy touch. Some fair hops did come out at the finish, but they didn’t saw me down like Left Hand usually does. I did note that this bottle was a 2008 vintage, meaning it had been sitting in Riley’s for a year and a half, but it still had a thick mouthfeel and some fair drinkability. So, no, the Chainsaw Ale probably isn’t worth 15 bucks, but it’s a wonderful once-a-year treat..

— Adam Bissen

Reminds you to support the retailers, restaurants, taverns and bands that support us. We are funded solely by advertising so if you want to support us, support them!

conscientious commerce: BE GOOD WISCO Second Supper vol. 9, issue 177

Reviews: Your Guide to Consumption

er’s n g i s De Drugs The

Oh hi, right now I'm streaming Rinse FM (www. rinse.fm), a pirate radio station out of London that plays primarily grime and dubstep. I'm not really sure what this station, launched in 1994, did until around 2000-01 when DJs and MCs with connections to the inner city East London club Forward>> started hitting the airwaves, dropping their new sounds that were coming from the streets. Grime can sort of be thought of as a British version of hip-hop, but back when hip-hop was in its infancy in the late '70s and early '80s coming out of areas of the Bronx, back when hip-hop was still exciting, fresh and not a multimillion dollar industry. The beats they MC over are influenced by the electronic music scene, created on cheap keyboard with a menacing low end and squiggly synth midrange. Dubstep is a more instrumental version. Evolving out of Two Step and Garage (two genres of electronic music) and adding dub reggae references, it's a bass-heavy, tense, rippling with urban paranoia, and a mutating beast that has become the hottest craze across the pond.The roots in the Jamaican soundsystems is highly noticeable, with the club performances featuring huge speakers to rock you to your core and even calling the records they spin dubplates. It should be noted that the majority of the godfathers of hip-hop, such as DJ Kool Herc, were also Jamaican and took their influences from those Caribbean dancehall DJs and toasters (Jamaican MCs). 2004 can be thought of as the year dubstep and grime broke to wider audiences. The compilation album Dubstep Allstars

that gave the genre its name was released, of which there are now six volumes, and featured all the top names of the game, many of which had radio shows on Rinse FM, such as Skream, Kode9 and Youngsta. MC Dizzee Rascal won Britain's Music Mercury Prize, which made cultural taste makers take notice, like Wire magazine out of London, which was the first to bring it out of the black clubs to white audiences, pitchfork.com, which started a regular feature called This Month in Grime/Dubstep, and VICE magazine, which released a couple of compilations called Run the Road. The major record labels also began sniffing around, which of course put the scene at a crossroads. Rinse FM, meanwhile, became the most popular pirate radio station in London, which has a rich history in pirate radio. Dubstep DJs have hit the American underground in a big way, being among the leaders in the resurrected rave scenes in big cities and featured at numerous summer music festivals alongside popular indie rock bands. Even yours truly included dubstep albums by Benga, The Bug and Burial in his top 50 albums of the year column in the pages of Second Supper last December. Meanwhile, the trend the past couple of years in those East London neighborhoods that launched this craze has been a new genre of music called Funky, which American music snobs will probably start hyping in 2011.

— Shuggypop Jackson

Director: Marc Webb Cast: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Zooey Deschanel, Geoffrey Arend Writers: Scott Neustadter and Michael H.Weber

August 27, 2009

scuffs a bit of its sheen. The next track’s duet with Imogen Heap comes off with a bit too much pop anguish. Heap sings well enough, but the music of “My Secret Friend” is less imaginative than its brethren. In contrast, “An I for an I” is a sludgy industrial monster with music that rushes full force, yet the vocals play at glory and fall slightly flat. The disc begins to pick itself up with the ticking string ballad, “I Am Terrified.” Despite a misstep in Corner’s attempt to cram too many words into a single line, the song is big enough to soak up such minor missteps. “Think of England” is a fuzz-bass speedster that marches steadily forward as it calls synths from the sky. This regaining of ground takes the album into its final stage, with four tracks that alternate between acoustic dread, more pop violence and a very pretty orchestral end. While IAMX falls into electro-glam pitfalls from time to time on Kingdom, the group has managed to craft an exciting, ambitious album with a scope far beyond darkened dancefloors — though the darkened dancefloor chasers will find plenty to enjoy, as well.

— Brett Emerson

Double Dragon (1994) Directed by: James Yukich Starring: Scott Wolf, Mark Dacascos, Alyssa Milano Written by: Michael Davis

(500) Days of Summer (2009)

Try as they might, quirky indie rom-coms like (500) Days of Summer will never capture love's uncertain, existential essence quite as well as The Graduate does. Attempting to make a Graduate for the iPod generation, screenwriters Scott Neustadter and Michael H.Weber and director (and Wisconsin native) Marc Webb telegraph (500) Days' intentions early, openly referencing Mike Nichols' classic on more than one occasion. Despite also owing a lot to Annie Hall (1977) — both for its structure and razor wit — the film maintains an impressive uniqueness unaltered by its obvious influences. If you can count on this kind of poppy un-love story for one thing, it's the endless display of postmodern creativity and inventiveness. (500) Days' creativity begins with its title, the number 500 sandwiched between parenthesis. Five-hundred is the number of days greeting card copywriter Tom (Joseph GordonLevitt) has known office assistant Summer (Zooey Deschanel), the girl he believes fate always intended him to meet. Jumping freely from day to day, the film chronicles the rise,

This left-field work comes from Chris Corner, formerly of the electro group The Sneaker Pimps. While there is some synthesized bleed over, what’s most arresting about IAMX’s newest album is how it blends these elements into the greater picture. Many of the songs on Kingdom of Welcome Addiction are full pieces with electronic parts running one more parallel, rather than bleeps and bloops that are mangled into structure. Corner’s voice has a desperate sleaze, at times sounding like Stabbing Westward’s Christopher Hall as it slithers around the music. If there is a weak point to this album, it comes in this delivery, which sometimes treads into tired romantic whines even as it is complemented by thrilling orchestration. The album’s introduction is its strongest segment. It kicks off with “Nature of Inviting,” which scathes along punches of synth and bass, sounding like a smooth rendition of “Trip like I Do” by The Crystal Method. The momentum carries into the title track, where piano lines herald bursts of electronic triumph. Next comes swinging drums and dancing pianos of “Tear Garden.” It’s here where Corner’s voice hits its peak, vibrating along with the instruments yet allowing them space to shine. Following this opening salvo, the album

Medium: Album Stimulus: IAMX — Kingdom of Welcome Addiction Anno: 2009

fall and aftermath of their relationship as Tom tries to pinpoint what went wrong. As consistently funny as it is stylishly told, the story is fashioned around both Tom's deep-rooted belief that there's only one person for everyone, and his utter confusion that Summer doesn't reciprocate his feelings. Though it often flirts with stereotypical chick-flick sensibilities, and though at times it dabbles in cliche, (500) Days remains firm in its stance against sappiness, corniness and typical rom-com improbabilities. It's host to a few remarkable scenes, including an hilarious song and dance number and a brutal juxtaposition of love's oft-dissimilar expectations and outcomes. Will these scenes — despite the films' limited release (and resultingly-thin viewership) — endure and become classic scenes, like the opening and closing of The Graduate? Even if (500) Days of Summer doesn't endure as well as that 1967 masterpiece, it still deserves the comparison.

— Nick Cabreza

It doesn’t require an auteur like Uwe Boll to illustrate the disasters that come when video games crossbreed with cinema. I’m racking my brain to think of one game film that doesn’t wholly disservice its source material.The best I can come up with is Silent Hill, which did splatter competently and foggy ambiance well, as well as presenting a Voorhees-in-training with the sword-wielding Pyramid Head. Then again, being top of the video game film mountain doesn’t translate into Silent Hill being a triumph of screen. Perhaps once Metal Gear Solid gets a cinematic makeover, we’ll have our first honest to goodness game film masterpiece, but until then we’ll have to slog through trash like Super Mario Brothers, Resident Evil, Mortal Kombat and the greater stretch of Uwe Boll’s directing career.Yet I make the case that Double Dragon may just outstink them all. For those unfamiliar with the franchise, Double Dragon is the story of the Lee Brothers, martial arts supertwins locked in endless combat with the city’s street gangs and their mysterious leaders. The important word to note is twins. In the film, Billy Lee (Player 1) is played by Party of Five alumnus Scott Wolf, a white babyface who can’t fight a lick. Player 2 is Jimmy Lee, played by Mark Dacascos, who is decidedly not of the same ethnicity. Dacascos

made a career in the '90s starring in the type of below-radar martial arts films that are low on acting but high on action, and he wipes the floor with Scott Wolf on both fronts. While the Lee Brothers come up lacking, they’re Norrisesque in comparison with the film’s villain, played by T2’s Robert Patrick. As a German turned self-styled Asian warlord, Patrick’s Koga Shuko plays up his eastern mystique by, well, sporting a tall bleach blonde flattop that would have made Kid N’ Play proud. There’s absolutely nothing menacing about the former T-1000 in this film; he’s far more pervy Eurotrash than a vicious psychopath. That may be why, after all the mystical chop-socky is said and done, Koga Shuko suffers one of the most ridiculous defeats in cinematic history, when Jimmy Lee possesses the baddie and forces him to beat himself silly. “Stop hitting yourself!” Patrick babbles as he delivers limp slaps to his own person. The ultra-violent villain death may not be necessary in all fight films, but victory by schoolyard bullying is beyond the pale. If you must think something about this movie (which I don’t recommend), imagine a combination of Surf Ninjas with Street Fighter. Then slap your Nintendo.

— Brett Emerson 11

Entertainment Directory 8/27 - 9/2

Thursday, August 27

August 29, continued

The Root Note Open Mic Night

Freight House Costello and Hipps

7:00

Popcorn Tavern Rick Weeth

10:00

Nighthawks Dave Orr's Damn Jam

10:00

Starlite Lounge Kies & Kompanie Howie's Karaoke Del's Bar Sterus State Room Bryon Stein Trempealeau Hotel Dustin and Dan

5:00 8:00 10:00 6:00 7:00

The Waterfront Chris Bucheit & Steve Meger Nighthawk's Cheech & Company

Friday, August 28 8:00

Starlite Lounge Somethin' Jazz Howie's Junebug, My Lady Four and Nick Bjerke

9:00

North Side Oasis Geared Under

9:30

Piggy's Blues Lounge Big Daddy Cade

8:00

The Warehouse Roman Numerals, Waiting for Signal,Seventh Resistance 7:30 Leo and Leona's The Marble Lions

8:00

Sunday, August 30

Friday, August 28 Popcorn Tavern Fayme Rochelle and the Waxwings

Great River Folk Festival

Popcorn Tavern The Sunday Blend 10:00 8:00 10:00

10:00

Monday, August 31 Popcorn Tavern Shawn's "'80s" Jam

8:00

Pearl Street Brewery Cheech

4:00

Freight House Costello and Hipps

George Street Pub Adam Palm's Summer Jam

9:00

8:00

The Root Note Blake’s Birthday Bash

Houghton’s John and Mike Caucutt

8:00