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INSIDE: PRIDE BRINGS COMMUNITIES TOGETHER • PAGE 5

La Crosse's Free Press VOLUME 10, NO. 32 | AUGUST 26, 2010

Kinfolk Hobo Nephews of Uncle Frank headline weekend folk fest

Page 7

PLUS: SOCIAL NETWORKING • PAGE 2 | THE MAJAK MIXTAPE • PAGE 7 | the ADVICE GODDESS • PAGE 11

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Second Supper

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TELL US YOUR GUILTIEST PLEASURE:

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whERE wERE YOU bORN?

When people don’t use their turning signals when driving

LaCrosse, Wis.

cURRENT JOb: Doesn’t exist

Publisher: Roger Bartel roger.bartel@secondsupper.com Editor in Chief: Adam Bissen adam.bissen@secondsupper.com Student Editor: Emily Faeth emily.faeth@secondsupper.com Sales: Mike Keith mike.keith@secondsupper.com Sales: Ansel Ericksen ansel.ericksen@secondsupper.com Sales: Michael Butteris michael.butteris@secondsupper.com Regular Contributors: Amy Alkon, Erich Boldt, Nick Cabreza, Mary Catanese, Brett Emerson, Jake Groteuschen, Shuggypop Jackson, Jonathan Majak, Matt Jones, Carolyn Ryan, Julie Schneider, Anna Soldner, Nate Willer Ralph Winrich Second Supper is a weekly alternative newspaper published by Bartanese Enterprises LLC, 614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601

whAT IS YOUR bIGGEST PET PEEvE?

dREAm JOb:

whAT ONE PERSON, ALIvE OR dEAd, wOULd YOU wANT TO hAvE dINNER wITh? Clara Bow

TELL US A JOKE:

One that I would enjoy doing for the rest of my life.

Knock knock. Who’s there? Bob Saget. ...

LAST ThING YOU GOOGLEd:

A dress from Target

whAT'S ThE LAST ThING YOU bOUGhT?

School stuff

whAT'S IN YOUR POcKET RIGhT NOw?:

If YOU cOULd LIvE ANYwhERE IN ThE wORLd, whERE wOULd IT bE?

Nothing, they are empty.

whAT IS SOmEThING YOU wANT TO dO bEfORE YOU dIE: Travel the world

cELEbRITY cRUSh: George Clooney

whAT IS YOUR bEvERAGE Of chOIcE? Water

whAT bOOK ARE YOU cURRENTLY REAdING? “Devil Bones” by Kathy Reichs

If A GENIE GRANTEd YOU ONE wISh, whAT wOULd YOU ASK fOR? To be happy for the rest of my life!

fIRST cONcERT YOU wENT TO: Warped Tour 2004

whAT IS YOUR fAvORITE PART Of SEcONd SUPPER? Social Networking hOw dO YOU KNOw EmILY (LAST wEEK'S INTERvIEw)? She is my favorite person. ... Ever!

L'Editor

Dear Reader: On Wednesday morning I attended the grand opening of Grand River Station, the new bus terminal/retail space/art district/ residential high-rise located right in the heart of downtown. I walked away from the seven-story complex quite impressed, despite a morning headline in the La Crosse Tribune that blared “Transit center opens late, over budget.” While technically correct, I don’t think that gets at the heart of the story. What the article didn’t say — and what I didn’t realize until I went inside — is how gorgeous the place could be. There are some vistas on the western side of the building that are as stunning as any urban view I’ve seen anywhere. There’s also a “green roof” on the fourth fl oor that will make for a cool gathering place. But to me the best view for Grand River Station’s success isn’t of the bluffs or the bridges or the bars literally at one’s door step — it’s of cranes constructing the third LHI building only a block away. If La Crosse wants to succeed in the 21st century it won’t be due to the strip malls and suburbs that defi ned the end of the 20th. We’ll need a new urban model (actually the old urban model) that combines home and work and culture without the need of the automobile. That is probably Grand River Station’s single most impressive credential. It looks so nice that it even makes riding the La Crosse MTU seem like a good idea.

— Compiled by Shuggypop Jackson. shuggypop.jackson@secondsupper.com

— Adam Bissen

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Second Supper

Things To Do Mellow out at the Great River Folk Festival

The Top

Things that sound good in folk songs 1. Bob Dylan's voice 2. Kazoos 3. Ten verses 4. Construction metaphors 5. Californee 6. Moonshine 7. The McKinley administration Cast members for "Expendables 2" 1. Wesley Snipes 2. Ralph Macchio 3. Meatloaf 4. Hulk Hogan 5. OJ Simpson 6. Grace Jones 7. David Hasselhoﬀ

August 26, 2010 // 3

FIRST THINGS FIRST

For the 35th year, the Great River Folk Festival features some of the genre’s best performers during its three-day run Friday through Sunday, Aug. 27-29, on the University of WisconsinLa Crosse campus. Eliza Gilkyson, John Gorka and Cheryl Wheeler perform Friday evening. Muddy Flats and the Hep Cats, The Hobo Nephews of Uncle Frank, Claudia Schmidt and others are on the weekend bill. There also will be ethnic and oldtime dancing, crafts from regional artisans, children’s activities, ethnic foods and, for the second year, a songwriting and performance contest on Sunday. Free parking will be oﬀered on close city streets and in UW-L parking lots. In case of rain, the event will move to the Cartwright Center on campus. A Saturday-Sunday pass costs $40. For more information and a complete music schedule, visit www.greatriverfolkfest.org.

Celebrate suﬀragettes' success

Dip into the past today, Aug. 26, at a celebration marking the 90th anniversary of the 19th Amendment, ratified in August 1920, which gave U.S. women the right to vote. The celebration begins at 6 p.m. at the Rivoli Theatre in downtown La Crosse. It includes the film “Iron Jawed Angels,” which tells the story of the suﬀragete movement, discussion of women’s rights and the continuing battles, and birthday cake. Dress in period costume if you like. The event, sponsored by several local organizations, is free, but donations would be appreciated. Don’t miss the party! There also will be a display at the Main Street entrance of the La Crosse Public Library depicting the efforts of women to earn the right to vote.

Hop on your hoverboard and get to the library Speaking of the past: If you’re bored, don’t feel like hitting the bars on a Monday night or just looking for some good 1980s style fun, Back to the Future is playing outdoors at the La Crosse Public Library’s southside branch, 1307 S. 16th St., at 7:30 p.m. Monday, Aug. 30. Bring a lawn chair or blanket, grab your hoverboard and dress in your finest ’80s fashion if you wish. There will be door prizes, a trivia contest and popcorn. For information, visit www.lacrosselibrary.org. The movie will be projected on the rear of the library building.

Support the EcoPark

Bump, set and spike it up at the Spikers for Hikers volleyball tournament from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Saturday, Aug. 28, at Alpine Inn, W5717 Bliss Road. Sponsored by the Alpine Inn and Miller Lite, tournament proceeds benefit Myrick Hixon EcoPark. The team entry fee is $100. Team members will receive a $25 membership to the EcoPark and a T-shirt. There will be door prizes. For more info, e-mail info@mhecopark.org.

Get energized to learn more about key resource

“The Future of Energy” will be discussed at 7 p.m. Tuesday, Aug. 31, at the Pertszch Elementary School in Onalaska. The panel discussion will include Doug Hauser, energy manager for School District of Onalaska; John Medinger, former mayor of La Crosse; Mark Myer, Wisconsin Public Service Commission member; and Jeﬀ Rich, executive director for Gundersen Lutheran Business Services. A question and answer session will follow. For more information, e-mail heartsjazz@charter.net.

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Second Supper

COMMENTARY

The WisPolitics.com Week in Review STOcK REPORT

RISING 527 donations

Newspaper Delivery Driver Needed

Second Supper needs delivery person to distribute papers Thursday afternoon/evening throughout La Crosse. Car necessary. Immediate opening. Call 608.782.7001. Pay is about $10 per hour.

Reminds you to support the retailers, restaurants, taverns and bands that support us. We are funded solely by advertising so if you want to support us, support them!

CONSCIENTIOUS COMMERCE: a SOURCE OF PRIDE

Good government types like to attack them as shadowy special interests. But the 527 groups are apparently a popular place to park political money. A Wisconsin Democracy Campaign report fi nds a record $1.34 million given to 527 groups — named after the IRS code that governs them, an increase of 128 percent from the comparable 2006 year. The WDC found Dem-leaning groups received substantially more than those that back the GOP, pulling in $846,622 to $480,761. That disparity was chalked up to large contributions from a few individuals and groups, led by the $582,000 Milwaukee philanthropist Lynde Uihlein gave to four Dem groups.

mIXEd University of Wisconsin

The UW System gets good press for trimming its budget request and focusing on graduating more students — a hoped for 5,900 students. But budget watchers aren’t necessarily impressed with the school’s budgeting approach. Considering how bad next year’s budget is going to be, calling for restoration of a 2 percent raise, but forgoing plans to ask for a “catch-up” pay hike as well isn’t exactly the picture of fi scal responsibility. System President Kevin Reilly touts the UW's potential as an economic catalyst. He adds that while "nobody's making any promises" in the Legislature, leaders from both parties have thus far been largely supportive of the new initiatives. The action by UW Regents comes as the number of students applying to enroll at two-year UW colleges is expected to jump by some 1,000 students to 14,750 this fall.

fALLING Property values

Wisconsin’s property values — including everything from homes and commercial buildings to undeveloped land — dropped by $16 billion last year as the real estate market continued to falter. The 3 percent drop was the largest in 50 years, and residential property alone dropped $12.9 billion, a decrease of 3.5 percent. The one silver lining may be the state wasn’t hit as hard as others. Nationally, the drop in home values from Jan. 1, 2009, to Jan. 1, 2010, was 5.6 percent. It was only the third time in the past fi ve decades that property values fell in Wisconsin. The last two were in 2008 and 1986, both of which saw smaller drops than last year.

ThAT'S dEbATAbLE

Editor's Note: WisOpinion.com has asked two veterans of Wisconsin policy and politics, Scot Ross of One Wisconsin Now and Brian Fraley of the John K. MacIver Institute for Public Policy, to engage in weekly exchanges on a topic of their choosing. This week they debate news on fundraisers, FEMA and trains. Brian Fraley: What a whirlwind 48 hours. On Monday, Obama comes to Milwaukee. He tours a failing business that is hemorrhaging money (including tax dollars) and uses it as a symbol for the stimulus act and the pending recovery. Then he bypasses fl ood-stricken neighborhoods to head to an event where it cost 10,000 bucks for a picture with him. On Tuesday, with Obama off to help prop up another weak Democratic candidate in another state, his administration offi cially denies FEMA aid to individual Wisconsin homeowners impacted by the recent fl ood. Scot Ross: Your grousing about his stop at a Wisconsin company that has benefi ted from the success of the recovery act is typical pap from conservatives who simply want America to fail long enough so they can somehow make the ridiculous case that we need more of their failed policies that got us into this historic mess. The CEO of the company toured by President Obama says the products he's manufacturing are being gobbled up by an “exploding” market for renewable energy use. That’s a huge win for Wisconsin. Fraley: Yeah, I know Scot, it's all George Bush's fault. Do you have a shortcut on your keyboard or do you have to type that entire sentence out every week? As for ZBB, it is not and has not been a success story, and their products are not being gobbled up. The Wall Street Journal did the reporting that

the locals failed to do. If they didn't make a “green” product promoted by your president, you'd be apoplectic about the amount of corporate welfare they've received. Ross: I note the response by your leading GOP candidate for governor fi rmly echoed the “no we can’t” national message. Scott Walker has continued his tantrum against the job-creating, pollution-abating high-speed rail that is coming for passengers across the southeastern and southcentral Wisconsin corridor. Walker has already got caught complaining about an amendment he supported about train construction. Fraley: The 79 mph rail (I won't say that's high-speed rail) may create short-term jobs during its construction, but there is absolutely no evidence it will lead to economic development. Local offi cials begin to ask questions about the burden stations will place on local property taxpayers, and the DOT has a tantrum and dramatically alters the plans. Walker is right to try to stop this train. If you think people want this monstrosity, let's put it up for a vote and test your theory. Ross: “As I put in my State of the State Address to the Wisconsin Legislature last January, ‘Soon, the business leader traveler will fl y from Washington to Milwaukee, jump on a high-speed train to Madison, then catch a bus to drop her at her doorstep just in time for dinner with the family, cooked by her husband.’” This is Tommy! Thompson in 2000 to the U.S. Conference of Mayors. At long last, his vision is going to become reality. It only took 10 years and the ousting of conservatives from the halls of power to get it done.

NEwS IN bRIEf Group sues over domestic partner registry

Wisconsin Family Action has fi led suit in Dane County challenging the state's domestic partner registry, saying it violates the Wisconsin Constitution's ban on the creation of a legal status substantially similar to marriage. The constitutional amendment was approved in 2006 with 59 percent of the vote. The complaint fi led in Dane County Court asks that the registry, included in the 2009-11 budget, be declared unconstitutional. "Our system of government serves no purpose if our elected offi cials can completely and capriciously ignore the will of the people with impunity," said WFA president Julaine Appling. "A reasonable person observing this registry would easily conclude that it is intended to mirror marriage." The group originally asked the state Supreme Court to take the suit directly, but was rebuffed in those efforts.

Supporters of the registry say it only provides a fraction of the legal protections that marriage does.

Neumann captures beer stein-holding contest

No matter what happens in the September primary, GOP guv hopeful Mark Neumann can say he's a winner. The homebuilder won a beer steinholding contest at Milwaukee's Old German Beer Hall that qualifi es him for the national competition in New York. Contestants hold a full beer stein in front of them with the last to lower their glass the winner. A press release from the former congressman's campaign notes that his three competitors were younger than him. "I have been a runner, basketball player and hunter all my life, but I have to say this is the most unique sporting contest I have ever participated in," Neumann said.

Next Week: Supper's Annual Theatre Season Preview

Second Supper

COMMUNITY

Like other fests, La Crosse Pride brings communities together By Jonathan Majak

jonathan.majak@secondsupper.com Not so long ago in a place not that far away, a cultural movement began in a little place quaintly named the Stonewall Inn. It was in the summer of 1969, a summer of much upheaval and change all across the nation, when the New York City police attempted a raid on the Stonewall Inn, a gay club in the West Village of New York City, and found themselves face to face with the start of the modern gay rights movement. Forty-one years later, Rosanne St. Sauver, director of the Seven Rivers LGBT Resource Center, is sitting in the slightly cramped confi nes of her loft-esque offi ce at the LGBT Resource Center on Pearl Street, nailing down fi nal details of the ninth annual La Crosse Pride festival, which runs from noon to 11 p.m. Saturday, Aug. 28, at the Southside Oktoberfest grounds. The center is an intimate, homey atmosphere with a small library of books for people to check, some computers to use, and a seating area with a television. The walls are lined with various bits of artwork and posters. To hear St. Sauver tell it, the upcoming La Crosse Pride, despite its obvious socio-political pedigree, isn’t all that different from other festivals in the areas. “This is about communities connecting together,” St. Sauver said. Though centered around the local lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community, it has a lot of the hallmarks of your standard Wisconsin festival: plethora of activities for kids, live music acts like Sick of Sarah and Ronnie Nyles as well as the Grand River Singers, and all the bratwursts and beer that one’s heart can desire. “It’s important to protest stuff like Prop. 8 in California and talk about the domestic partnership here in Wisconsin and other issues,” St. Sauver explained, “but we still need a day that is celebratory. It’s about honoring all people who believe in diversity.” When asked how La Crosse Pride differentiates itself from prides that happen in bigger areas such as the Twin Cities or Madison, St. Sauver says that La Crosse Pride is

Ronnie Nyles will perform at La Crosse Pride. a refl ection of the Tri-State community as a whole. “We’re pro-families and it’s very kidfriendly,” St. Sauver said. She added with a laugh, “No dancers on fl oats. Though it would be cool if we eventually did have a parade.” And to get to a day of a celebration takes many months of work, according to St. Sauver. Committee members meet once a month starting as soon as one Pride is over. As the next event draws closer, they meet on a weekly basis to help organize things such as entertainment, vendors and all that goes into putting on the yearly festival. It’s a big commitment of time and effort on their part, St. Sauver said. “Pride happens because of committed members of the community,” she said. The entertainment this year includes GALAXY talent show, 2 to 3 p.m.; Sick of Sarah, 3:30 to 5:30 p.m.; Ronnie Nyles, 6 to 7:45 p.m.; Grand River Singers, 8:30 to 9 p.m.; drag show 9:15 to 11:15 p.m. For a complete list of events and activities at this year’s pride event, visit www.lacrossepride.us. Buttons cost $5 before the festival, $10 at the gate.

August 26, 2010 // 5

6// August 26, 2010

Second Supper

ARTS

Pump House offerings share strengths, weaknesses and work well together By Jonathan Majak jonathan.majak@secondsupper.com American Voices: Words and Music For Change, currently playing at the Pump House Regional Arts Center, is essentially Wikiquote: The Musical. Divided into five sections about war, women, environment, race and hope, the show’s talented young cast recites quotes about each topic before launching into on-the-nose musical choices: “Give Peace a Chance” in the war section, “Respect” in the women section, “Big Yellow Taxi” in environment, “We Shall Overcome” in race and a Beatles medley in hope. Well-intentioned as it may be, it all plays like a very socially conscious episode of Glee, with every positive and negative connotation

The Arts Review Bizarro Masterpiece Theatre Medium: Film "Incest Death Squad 2" (2010) Director: Cory J. Udler Cast: Tom Lodewyck, Greg Johnson, Carmela Wiese Writer: Cory J. Udler The first Incest Death Squad was a foul piece of boobs, blood and extreme sibling love, a film sure to offend just about everyone. Incest Death Squad 2 blows its predecessor out of the water. The events of IDS 1 feature reporter Aaron Burg (Lodewyck) being forced to murder some rubes and knock up the Squad’s sister to earn his freedom. Limping back to civilization with his other girlfriend in tow, Burg spends IDS 2 in the grasp of psychotic shell shock. Meanwhile, the brothersister duo of death decide to take a vacation from their Lord-inspired rampages and set off for vile Wisconsin civilization to track down the one who got away. Hilarity ensues, and by hilarity I mean murder, rape, male nudity and fetal abuse. The characters of the IDS series are so much better this time around. Tom Lodewyck’s hapless goofball from the first film has grown into a brooding, unhinged weirdo. More than that, Burg’s purpose is no longer to simply be the straight man that reacts with wide eyes to the horrors he faces. Instead, his actions and motives have become his own. The Squad itself has also greatly improved. The hulking Greg Johnson remains my favorite actor in the series, yet his character of Jeb Wayne is pulled back a bit, giving him a personality beyond the howling, murderous preacher-behemoth. Similarly, Jeb’s sister,

of that. Like Glee, it has a group of talented people believably selling pop hits within a construct that is equally emotionally resonating and calculatingly smug, and that plays to its target audience exceptionally well while leaving this reviewer cold. With a narrower focus that allowed for some breathing room for numbers, American Voices would be a better show. There are many terrific moments — like Hope Parow’s rendition of “Strange Fruit,” the men‘s “Draft Dodger Rag” and the cast’s “National Brotherhood Week” — that risk getting lost in the mountain of quotes between numbers and the sheer number of songs, particularly in the Second Act, which blunts the sharp edge the show could have. Sharing the same cast and some of the

same problems, Waiting For Lefty, also playing at the Pump House, was the better of the two shows because having a plot — an attempt of a labor union strike — makes the vignette structure work greatly. Waiting For Lefty, like American Voices, shows off the ridiculous plethora of talent the La Crosse theatre community has and allows a large number of these people to have great moments. Greg Parmeter, the creative director, and understudy Jessica Afton Everett delivered an emotional wallop as a couple on the brink of imploding because of tough finances. Allyssa Dunn and Lance Newton also not only tugged on heartstrings but ripped them out as a couple trying to figure out if love or money is more important.

And it’s not all about the couples, though. Scott Gibson-Uebele, as a frustrated scientist, makes his heroic stand seem organic and not plot-dictated, while Harrison DeCreny’s turn as a Jewish doctor shows off his ability to make a character feel real from the moment he appears on the scene. Like American Songs, Waiting For Lefty is a show in need of some editing. The idea of labor songs being sung is not in itself bad. But a labor song after every vignette threatens to strangle the show’s emotional intensity that’s absolutely necessary to maintain. Overall, the good easily outweighs the bad with both shows, so I’d recommend attending both programs because together they create an interesting artistic statement.

Amber, played by Carmela Wiese, no longer simply serves as a siren leading horned-up city folk to their doom with bad pickup lines. She’s also responsible for what is probably the film’s greatest gross-out moment. A few new characters find their way into the mess as well, and they tend to get pretty awesome. The most notable additions are a foul-mouthed hooker and a con recruited by his cousin, Burg’s girlfriend, to fight the Squad. The con is delightfully nasty, threatening a crack whore, praising the superiority of box wine, and otherwise making an ass of himself. A few minor criticisms: a few of the daytime shots turn out a bit dark, and the sound quality gets awkward when dialogue interrupts the background music, sounding like an abrupt turn of a dimmer switch when somebody speaks. Yet everything else about this movie is utterly amazing. It’s a masterpiece of filth film-making, a sick and wrong sequel that greatly ups the quality of both production and story. The Incest Death Squad series could have coasted on name-brand revulsion, but once more it delivers nastiness with context, resulting in a freak show with flair.

guided confidence and easy-going determination of young lottery winner Kevin Carson, who must avoid a host of money-grubbers during the Fourth of July weekend before he can claim his ticket. Similarly, Auto-Tune extraordinaire T-Pain gets the job done as the wise-cracking clerk who sells Kevin the ticket. Nobody could have guessed that Ice Cube gives perhaps the least convincing performance as an elderly shut-in who, though he steals whatever scenes he pops up in, gives the film an awkward limp it really could have done without. Writer-director Erik White opens Lottery Ticket with an energetic credit sequence/ montage that illustrates the close ties of a sprawling community wrapped up in summer heat and abuzz with the lottery’s $370 million jackpot. Like Cube’s own Friday, Lottery Ticket plays to the strengths of a lively community, a diverse cast of stereotypical yet irrefutably-individualized characters, and the adherence to a clearly outlined place and time. But unlike Friday, Lottery Ticket is never as funny as it is plain goofy. Still, White’s winning story is enjoyable, even inspiring, on a gut level. No matter that not all of its parts work — Lottery Ticket succeeds because of its honesty.

ear, is fleshed out enough to hold interest. Number Four got his name by being the fourth in a series of nine alien refugees who escaped the destruction of their planet at the hands of a less enlightened civilization. These kids each take a guardian, split up, and go Clark Kent to evade the monsters. Owing to a mystical charm, the kids are invulnerable unless they are killed in numeric order. Numbers One through Three are dead. Four is next. The tale is a mixture of teen drama and environmental parable. While Four tries to fit in to his new high school and suffers all the expected angst and desire thereof, the greater conflict unfolds in the course of his real education. The two alien races presented, Four’s enlightened Lorics and the Mogadorians that destroyed them, are positioned as ends of a spectrum in which humanity is right in the middle. When in danger of destroying their planet, the Lorics changed their ways and became Supermen. The Mogadorians did not, and in essence they turned into walking viruses. At times the story feels a bit heavy-handed, all but asking the reader which race they would rather become. But it works well enough. The book’s greatest flaw is that it’s incredibly predictable. The greatest example of this comes during Number Four’s first day in his new school, in which a dog named Bernie Kosar (because they’re in Ohio — Go Browns!) appears out of nowhere, sprints right up to him, and subsequently follows him everywhere. Since dogs tend not to just show up in school like this, it’s obvious that Bernie Kosar is going to play a big part in what’s to come. Had the authors used a less blatant introduction — say, Number Four meets the stray dog while wandering in the woods — the dog’s importance may have come as a surprise instead of inevitable. All told, it’s not the best sci-fi story ever, but it may satisfy teen readers or those waiting for the next big epic.

“Incest Death Squad” premieres at 9 p.m. Central time Sept. 17 at www.horrorsociety.com. To read my interview with director Cory J. Udler, go to ymarksthespot.org. — Brett Emerson

The Screening Room Medium: Film "Lottery Ticket" (2010) Director: Erik White Cast: Bow Wow, Brandon T. Jackson, Naturi Naughton Writers: Erik White and Abdul Williams I am weary of films that hope to cash in by casting recording artists in prominent roles, but the rappers in Lottery Ticket do surprisingly well in carrying this hit-or-miss tale of community, friendship and duty. Bow Wow, who really ought to invest in a new pseudonym, perfectly portrays the mis-

— Nick Cabreza

The Designer's Drugs Medium: Literature Stimulus: Pittacus Lore, "I Am Number Four" Anno: 2010 Having recently (and regrettably) read one of James Patterson’s teen novels about kids obtaining fantastic superpowers, I’d have to say that I Am Number Four put me in mind of that other work. It probably doesn’t help that Pittacus Lore, like Patterson himself most of the time, is actually two authors: Jobie Hughes and James Frey (yes, that James Frey). Yet while the premise of this book isn’t unique — the titular Number Four is essentially an alien X-Man — the quality of the writing is greater than Patterson’s. Most importantly, the chapters aren’t two pages long, the characters don’t try to act hip and cool, and the plot, while very lin-

— Brett Emerson

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Second Supper

MUSIC

Hobo Nephews return for folk fest By Adam Bissen

adam.bissen@secondsupper.com Hailing from Holyoke, Minn. (population 179, 30 miles southwest of Duluth), the Hobo Nephews of Uncle Frank have tried to nail the sound of the rural Northwoods. They do a pretty impressive job for a couple of kids from New Jersey. Comprised of brothers Teague and Ian Alexy, the Hobo Nephews are a hard-touring duo more inclined to play a rural bar than a hipster coffeehouse, and that beat-it-on-down-the-line attitude has served them well as they’ve grown in national prominence. Now scheduled to headline the Saturday evening concert at this weekend’s Great River Folk Fest, the Hobo Nephews of Uncle Frank will be returning to La Crosse in triumphant fashion. In honor of that homecoming, we caught up with Teague by telephone this week while he was watching trains roll by at his Holyoke home. Second Supper: Down here in La Crosse we’ve been seeing Hobo Nephews for years. I remember lots of shows at the Popcorn Tavern back in the day. Is La Crosse an important place for the development of your music? Teague Alexy: For a while when we first started, it kind of became a second home for us. We had some people there that who were helping us book our shows and managing us, so we ended up playing in your area a lot. We haven’t been there as much the past couple years, so we’re really glad the folk festival invited us down. SS: For those of us who followed you largely from La Crosse, all of your old shows used to be just you and your brother Ian. Now I see you’ve got a new member, Paul Grill, playing on drums. What does he give you guys as a band? TA: Well actually, here’s the rundown: When we started out it was just the two of us. The idea was to throw our stuff in the back of the car, take off, and not have to worry about a gas-guzzling van or having to clear up five people’s schedules to go on the road. And in those early days we actually had people that would play with us in the different towns, like some of the Trampled By Turtles guys would join us for shows. And then we started incorporating one drummer, and then we decid-

ed to bring Paul in as a third member of the band. Then I guess it was back in the spring we decided that we were kind of getting a little bit away from what we were originally trying to do, which was trying to be a rootsy band that sounded like it could just come in straight off the porch in Holyoke. So we decided to not play with Paul anymore. Now we both sit down and we both have stomp boards at our feet, so we kinda do a real rowdy two-man foot-stomping throwdown thing. We just felt like we were starting to become kind of like a rock & roll band, and we didn’t want to let it get there. SS: Yeah, I was pretty surprised to learn that your last album Traveling Show was recorded in Brooklyn. Why did you cut the record there? TA: We just had a few things come together. We grew up in New Jersey. We have lots of friends there. We were going back to play — we had shows in New York City and Atlantic City — so we decided to call some friends and see who was around, and we ended up getting three days at a friend of Ian’s studio in Brooklyn. And that enabled us to get (jazzfusion keyboardist) Marco Benevento, who is an old friend of Ian’s and I’ve always been a big fan of his. SS: So after starting as what you call a “front porch” band and playing all these rural, out of the way bars and having a couple rootsy recordings to show for it, did the energy around the band change after touring in support of Traveling Show? TA: Um, yeah, I think so. I think that was part of the reason why we went back to being a duo. We felt like we lost something. It was hard to get rid of Paul because Paul is a fantastic drummer, very highly sought after drummer in Minnesota. Playing with Paul — and playing with anybody, really — just showed us some different approaches to our songs. We paid attention to what they’re doing on our songs, and now we’re a much better duo because of it. SS: What should La Crosse fans expect for your homecoming this weekend? TA: We’re just gunna come and stomp our feet and holler and blow harp, and Ian’s going to wail on the electric. We’re there to throw down. We’re trying to prove to everybody that we don’t need a drummer, so we’ve been playing with some attitude lately.

The Majak Mixtape By Jonathan Majak jonathan.majak@secondsupper.com Oh housing market, your financial fortunes are in the metaphorical basement right now aren’t they? According to newspaper reports, housing sales in July went sliding down to their lowest levels in a decade. A lot of the blame has focused around the fact that July was the first month that people buying houses would not get the tax credit of up to $8,000. We here at the Mixtape firmly believe this steep decline in the housing market happened because we didn’t put together a mix to help stoke the fire of buyers, so we’re here to help with a mixtape we’re calling, “A Mixtape is not a Home.” Up first is the Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young (for God’s sake, please let that be everybody) and their song “Our House.” Not to be confused with the Madness tune of the same title, the jaunty “Our House” details the wanting for a nice white-picket life that so many folks dream of, all put to an almost Beatles-esque medley with tight Beach Boyslike vocals. I initially fell in love with this song

August 26, 2010 // 7 when Phantom Planet did a cover of it, and it was used in the trailers for Margot at the Wedding which helped give the false impression that that film was going to be interesting contrary to what the frozen mask that is Nicole Kidman’s face said in the trailer. When you can’t find “our house” within the confines of the city, maybe you might need to move out to the “Country House” like the boys of Blur did. A sharp, pithy tune about a man who has moved to the country to escape the hustle and bustle of city life and goes to a place where he doesn’t “drink, smoke or laugh.” On second thought, if that’s what country house life is like, you might as well stay in the city and at least be able to have take-out on a regular basis. And if country life and the big city life are both just too horrible, why don’t you move and join the quiet desperation provided by the suburbs and live in one of the “Little Boxes” as sung by Pete Seeger and popularly known for a time as the theme song of Weeds, which seems appropriate since the stress of trying to buy or sell a house in this market might make a person smoke up a little bit. Want more of the Mixtape? Go to majakkingdom.blogspot.com for your daily, uncensored dose of The Majak Mixtape. Buy: !!!’s new album Strange Weather, Isn’t It YouTube: Ceelo’s new song “F**k You” Read: Listen Before You Buy (www.listenbeforeyoubuy.net)

8// August 26, 2010

Second Supper

MUSIC

music directory // August 27 to September 2 fridaY, .

August 27

just a roadie away Madison

Cartwright Center // 1725 State St. Eliza Gilkyson, John Gorka and Cheryl Wheeler (Great River Folk Fest) • 7:30 p.m.

population

208,054

Railroad Earth, Toubab Krewe // SEPT. 16 Barrymore Theatre • $20

JB'sSpeakeasy // 717 Rose St. Sowbelly Bitchhog, Idle Ecstatic, This Could Be the Day (hard rock) • 10 p.m.

cornmeal // SEPT. 17 Majestic Theatre • $13

Neuie's North Star // 1732 George St. King Friday (acoustic trio) • 8 p.m.

The Gaslight Anthem // SEPT. 19 Majestic Theatre • $20 built to spill // SEPT. 21 High Noon Saloon • $22

Nighthawks Tap // 401 S. Third St. The Cheech (blues/rock) • 10 p.m. Pearl Street Brewery // 1401 St. Andrew St.

Jason Sebranek (acoustic) • 5 p.m. piggy's blues lounge // 501 Front St. S. Ross William Perry Band (blues) • 8 p.m.

Andrew Revels touched a lot of people in his short life, which ended in a tragic wakeboarding accident on the final day of July. To commemorate all that he lived for — as well as to raise funds for his funeral expenses and favorite charity, juvenile diabetes — several local musicians will be performing this Saturday at Live Long, Live Strong: A Celebration of Andrew's Life, which will be held at Sher-Bear’s on French Island. T.U.G.G. (pictured), will kick off the music at noon. The other scheduled performers are, in order of appearance, Dan Berger, Ricky Weeth, NEON, Good Tymes, Mike Tyler, The Journeymen, Sowbelly Bitchhog, Abbey Lane, The Quick Are The Dead, and Adam Palm & Brent Brown. Admission is $10, which includes food, beer and plenty of fun.

August 29

Sierra Leone's Refugee All Stars// SEPT. 25 Willy Street Block Party •FREE The National // SEPT. 28 Orpheum Theatre • $25

September 1

Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. Keefe Klug and the Surgical Precision (funk/blues) •10 p.m..

Onalaska Am.legion // 731 Sand Lake Rd. Flashback (Legion Days) • 8 p.m.

sundaY,

sher bears // 329 Goddard St. Good Tymes (rock & roll) • 9 p.m

Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. Sterus (face-melting) • 10 p.m.

Folk Fest Grounds // UW-La Crosse Mustard’s Retreat, Ellis, ¡Que-Flavor!, Hot Sauce (evening concert) • 5 p.m.

Del’s Bar // 229 Third St. Open Jam • 10 p.m.

The Starlite Lounge // 222 Pearl St. Jim Piela Quartet (jazz) • 9 p.m.

sher bears // 329 Goddard St. T.U.G.G., Dan Berger, Ricky Weeth, NEON, Good Tymes, Mike Tyler, The Journeymen, Sowbelly Bitchhog, Abbey Lane, The Quick Are The Dead, and Adam Palm & Brent Brown ("Live Long, Live Strong") • noon

French slough // 1311 La Crescent St. Kin Pickin’ (jam grass) • Noon

Bad Axe Jam (gear provided) • 10 p.m.

Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. The Sunday Blend (fusion) • 10 p.m.

Jazz Liver (jazz) • 10 p.m.

the waterfront tavern // 328 Front St. Greg Balfany/LaX Jazz4tet (jazz) • 8 p.m.

saturdaY,

August 28

Folk Fest Grounds // UW-La Crosse Muddy Flats and the Hepcats, Greg Greenway, Claudia Schmidt, The Hobo Nephews of Uncle Frank (Folk Fest evening concert) • 6 p.m. HOwie's // 1125 La Crosse St. Strange Daze (alternative) • 9 p.m. piggy's blues lounge // 501 Front St. S. Ross William Perry Band (blues) • 8 p.m.

The bodega // 122 4th St. Kokopellians (jamgrass) • 9:30 p.m. The Joint // 324 Jay St. Nimbus (trance-rock) • 10 p.m. The Root Note // 114 4th St. S. Alex Toast and Ryan Conrad (local songwriters) • 8:30 p.m.

Nell's city grill // 1111 S. Third St. Karl Friedline (baritone) • 6 p.m.

The Warehouse // 324 Pearl St. Four Letter Lie, Before We Fall, Blank Image, Befriend and Betray, This Embrace (pop-punk) • 6:45 p.m.

Nighthawks Tap // 401 S. Third St. Julica Rose (“Anything goes”) • 10 p.m.

the waterfront tavern // 328 Front St. Greg Balfany/LaX Jazz4tet (jazz) • 8 p.m.

The Joint // 324 Jay St. Adam Palm with Dave Lambert (Palm Sunday) • 4 p.m.

mondaY,

August 30

Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. Shawn's Open jam • 10 p.m. The Root Note // 114 4th St. S. Soundrabbit (indie folk) • 8:30 p.m.

tuesdaY,

August 31

Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. Fayme Rochelle (Bluegrass) • 10 p.m.

wednesdaY,

Nighthawks Tap // 401 S. Third St. Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. recovery room // 901 7th St. S. Kin Pickin’ (open jam) • 10 p.m.

thursday,

September 2

Ciatti's // 9348 Hwy. 16 Runaway (on the patio) • 6 p.m. Nighthawks Tap // 401 S. Third St. Dave Orr's Damn Jam (open jam) • 10 p.m.

Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. TBA (Tell Brownie About it) • 10 p.m. The Starlite Lounge // 222 Pearl St. Kies and Kompanie (jazz) • 5 p.m.

Second Supper

The Beer Review East Kent Golding Single Hop IPA Mikkeller Copenhagen, Denmark Happy harvest season, hop heads! That’s right. Those tasty, aromatic buds are plump on the vine and ripe for the picking, so the time is right to revel in the power of hops. Last night I kicked off the season properly by attending A Taste of Hops at the Root Note, a beer tasting featuring several hoppy selections from around the globe. I could have written a review on any of those offerings, but I thought this beer from the young Danish brewery Mikkeller was particularly eye-

brewed exclusively with Cenopening. This is the seventh offering from the brewery’s tenial, Nugget and Warrior Appearance: 8 innovative Single Hop IPA sehops, though I preferred the ries, an extensive line of beers only beer in the mix brewed Aroma: 7 brewed with an identical malt with an old-world strain: the East Kent Golding. base but only one hop variety, Taste: 7 which offers an enlightening This beer pours a hazy, Mouthfeel: 7 experience when sampled unfiltered brown color that is side by side. There are at almost opaque. In my small Drinkability: 6 least 70 different varieties of taster snifter the light brown head was minimal, but I’ve hops in the world, each with its unique taste and aromatseen photos where it foams Total: 35 ic properties. Experienced up tall. The East Kent Golding brewers can differentiate indiSingle Hop IPA has a clean aroma that smells maltier and vidual strains from a blended smokier than most India Pale recipe, but Mikkeller’s singlehop line offers a drinking experience that Ales, yet there’s also a distinct rubbing alis both educational and delicious. We also cohol aroma that comes with the 6.9 persampled some Mikkeller IPAs that were cent ABV. The taste is also smooth with a

The Best Food & Drink Specials in Town LOCATION

August 26, 2010 // 9

YOUR GUIDE TO CONSUMPTION

SUNDAY

fair amount of maltiness, as this was actually one of the least “hoppy” beers that I tried at the tasting. There’s a bit of citrus flavor, but nothing like those dynamos of the Pacific Northwest. Instead, the East Kent Golding has an earthy, spicy flavor with notes of black pepper and black tea. The mouthfeel is medium bodied. The few ounces I sampled were fairly drinkable, but I’m not sure I could finish a six-pack — or if I’d even want to. The East Kent Golding is a flavorful hop that played a pivotal role in the development of English pale ales, but it doesn’t do that hot as a solo act. Thankfully, it has 70 cousins to help work the magic.

— Adam Bissen

MONDAY

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

ARENA

Midwest Poker League 7 p.m.

Closed

Wyld Wednesday: $2 Jumbo UV, mixers $1.50 Coronas

Ladies' Night, $5 Long Island pitchers

$1 Cherry Bombs, $1 Keystone Light silos

BODEGA BREW PUB

$2 BBQ Pork Sliders

2-Fers, Buy any regularly priced food item and get one of equal or lesser value for free

$2.50 Coors vs. Keystone pitchers. All specials 9 p.m. to close

AUC2D: $5, domestic taps, rail mix- 10-cent wings, $1 Miller High Life ers, Long Islands. All specials 9 p.m. bottles, $1.50 rail mixers; $2.50 call to close drinks. All specials 9 p.m. to close.

107 3rd St. S. 782-1883 122 4th St. 782-0677

BROTHERS

Closed

Fish Tacos: 1 / $2.50, 2 / $5.00, 3 / $6.50. AUC2D: $5, domestic taps, rail mixers and Long Islands. Wristband Night: $2.50 SoCo & Jack. All specials 9 p.m. to close., 50¢ shots (2 flavors)

$3 3 Olives mixers, $3 Mojitos, $2 $3 Bacardi mixers, $3 Mojitos, $2 Cherry Bombs, $1 Bazooka Joe's; Cherry bombs, $1 Bazooka Joe's. FAC: $3 domestic pitchers, micro/ All specials 9 p.m. to close. import taps, anything that pours. 4-9 p.m.

All you care to eat pizza buffet, 11-2

All you care to eat fish fry 4-10; unlimited Glow-N-Bowl $9.99

Prime rib dinner 4-10; unlimited Glow-N-Bowl $9.99

Happy hour 4 to 9 p.m.; 9 p.m. to 9 p.m. to close: $3.50 domestic 9 p.m. to close: $1 rails, $2.50 pitch- $5 all you can drink close: Night Before Class - $3 pitch- pitchers ers, beer pong ers of the beast

9 p.m. to close: $1.25 rails, $1.75 bottles/cans

9 p.m. to close: $2 Captain mixers, $2 bottles/cans, $3 Jager bombs

9 p.m. to close: $2 Bacardi mixers, $2 domestic pints, $1.50 shots blackberry brandy

IMPULSE

214 Main St. 782-6010 UPDATED THIS WEEK!

$5 AUC2D wristbands: domestic taps, rail mixers, Long Islands, 9 p.m. to close; live DJ, dancing 9 p.m. to close

Alcohol-free night, 7 p.m. to 2 a.m., $5 AUC2D wristbands: domestic for ages 25 and younger; live DJ, taps, rail mixers, Long Islands, 9 p.m. dancing, giveaways, AUC2D soda, to close; karaoke 9 p.m. to close $10 cover

$5 AUC2D wristbands: domestic taps, rail mixers, Long Islands, 9 p.m. to close; karaoke 9 p.m. to close

Free Wing Night (while supplies last); $5 AUC2D wristbands: domestic taps, rail mixers, Long Islands, 9 p.m. to close; live DJ, dancing 9 p.m. to close

$5 AUC2D wristbands: domestic taps, rail mixers, Long Islands, 9 p.m. to close; live DJ, dancing 9 p.m. to close

JB’S SPEAKEASY

$1.75 domestic bottles

SIN Night

Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.

$1.79 burger (after 8 p.m.) Breakfast 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.

Hat Night: Buy 1 drink, get 1 free w/ Rail drinks $2 (4:30 to close); Buckets of beer $10, Boston Bobby's Margaritas $4 (Straw, rasp, mango, hat (4:30 to close); $1.50 chili dogs After 8 p.m. specials: $5 skewer of drummies 10 for $2 (4:30 to close), peach and reg); After 8 p.m. specials: (after 8 p.m.) shrimp,l $1.79 burger, $1.50 chili dogs $1.79 burger (after 8 p.m.) $5 skewer of shrimp, $1.79 burger

306 Pearl St. 784-0522

FEATURES

Free beer 5:30-6:30; Free wings 7:30- Taco buffet 11-2; 8:30, Free bowling after 9 $1 Pabst bottles and $1 bowling after 9

W3923 State Highway 16 786-9000

HOWIE’S 1125 La Crosse St. 784-7400

$1.75 domestic bottles

717 Rose St. 796-1161

SCHMIDTY’S 3119 State Road 788-5110

SLOOPY'S ALMA MATER 163 Copeland Ave. 785-0245

SPORTS NUT

$2 can beer (2-6 p.m.) $11 buckets of beers (6-close)

$2 can beer (2-6 p.m.) 12" pizza: $8.99 up to 5 toppings (4-close)

Wings, Wings, Wings... $2 off 14: Ladies night, 2 for 1 drinks (6-close), pizza, $2 can beer (2-6 p.m.) $2 can beer (2-6 p.m.)

Buck Burgers

Tacos $1.25

15-cent wings

Breakfast 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.

Friday Fish, $2 can beer (2-6)

$8.99 12-ounce T-bone

2 for 1 pints/pitches w/ student ID over 21 15-cent wings

801 Rose St. 784-1811

THE LIBRARY

Sunday Fun Day - Wristband Night

Half price tequilla, $1 domestic taps Karaoke, $2 Double rails and all Beer Pong Tourney and $3 Bacardi mixers, $3 Jumbo Long and rails bottles; $3 Double call drinks wristband night, $2 cherry bombs, Island Iced Teas 50¢ shots (3 flavors)

123 3rd St. 784-8020

TOP SHOTS 137 4th St. 782-6622

$5 Pitchers/$2 bottles of Miller $1.75 Miller/Bud Light Taps, $2.25 $1.75 Rails, $1.50 Domestic Taps, $2 domestic bottles, $2.50 Skyy/ products (11-4pm) MIcro/Craft Taps, $2.50 Cherry Bombs $3.50 Jager Bombs Absolut mixers, $2 Dr. shots $2 Corona Bottles, $2 Kilo Kai Mixers (7-1AM) (7-1AM) (7-1am) , $3 Bloodys (7-1AM)

5 Domestic Bottles for $10, $5 $2 Captain Mixers, $2. Long Island Micro/Import Bottles $11.50, $7 Mixers, $3 Effen Vodka Mixers (7Micro/Craft Pitchers (7-1AM) 1AM)

TRAIN STATION BBQ

Ask for great eats

11 a.m. to 3 p.m., Barn burner $7.95; 4 to 9 p.m., Hobo dinner (serves two) $30.95

WHO'S ON THIRD

Happy Hour until 10 p.m. $1.50 domestic taps, $2 rails from 10 to close

601 St. Andrew St. 781-0005 126 3rd St. N. 782-9467

$1 taps of PBR, $1 rails

11 a.m. to 3 p.m., extra side with sandwich; 4 to 9 p.m., $1 off rib dinner

Special varies

$3 call doubles, $2 Bud products

Ladies' Night: $2 top shelf, $1 Pink $8.50 Fish Bowls, $2 Miller products $1 off Three Olives, $2 domestic taps Tacos Everyone: $2.50 bombs, $2 taps, $3 Jack/Captain doubles

$3 Jumbo Long Island Iced Teas, $3 3 Olives mixers $5 Miller/Bud Light Pitchers, $2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1AM)

11 a.m. to 3 p.m., Chicken on fire One-half chicken three bones $7.95; 4 to 9 p.m., Bones and bris- $12.95 kets $13.95

To advertise here, call (608) 782-7001 or e-mail us at advertising@secondsupper.com.

10// August 26, 2010

Second Supper

DIVERSIONS

Maze Efflux

"Really scary" Or is it?

By Erich Boldt By Matt Jones

Newspaper Delivery Driver Needed

Sudoku

Answers on Page 11

Second Supper needs delivery person to distribute papers Thursday afternoon/evening throughout La Crosse. Car necessary. Immediate opening. Call 608.782.7001. Pay is about $10 per hour.

USED FURNITURE C h e a p

P r i c e s

MOST ITEMS $50 - $100

Sofas, Recliners BEDS & MORE! 519 Commerce St - Holmen, WI 54636 - 608-526-3399

Behind Select Carwash, Only 8 minutes from Valley View Mall M-F 10-8 Sat 9-5 Sun 12-5

ACROSS 1 Sweltering 4 Missourian's phrase 10 Pop group on a 1983 stamp in their native Sweden 14 Judge in the O.J. Trial 15 Not just hurtful 16 "The King and I" setting 17 Newly-coined word 20 Orangey drink 21 Renaissance painter Bruegel 22 "Now ___ me down to sleep..." 23 Coat hook, maybe 24 "Blah blah blah" 25 "Hostel" director Roth 26 Less refined 30 Entr'___ 31 Definition of the coined word, Part 1 35 Squealed on 36 Part 2 of the defini-

tion 41 Staffs 42 PageMaker maker that merged with Adobe 43 Dream, with a Cockney accent 44 "___ be a shame if you didn't" 45 Doberman's warning 47 Skating jump 48 S, to a soldier 50 Assistance 54 End of the definition 56 Monogram ltr. 57 Fixture for a game show 58 Screener's org. 59 Food served in its own shell 60 "Quite a hot day out" response 61 JFK stat DOWN 1 People classified as

Answers to August 19 puzzle The damage is done: A body of work in body work

"homo groovius" by humor website Uncyclopedia 2 Board game also called Reversi 3 Got ready to fire 4 Fruit in a gin fizz 5 Prefix meaning "seven" 6 Will-___-wisp 7 "What did you just say?!?!" 8 Fairy queen mentioned in "Romeo and Juliet" 9 Get hitched in private 10 Tennis legend Arthur 11 Gene therapy's field 12 She had a "Feast" in a 1987 Danish film 13 Punish with a fine 18 What blue sometimes denotes 19 Captain Link Hogthrob, e.g. 23 ___ oneself on (had an ego about) 26 Panther sound 27 No vote 28 Mixologist's station 29 Actress Kayla of "The Vampire Diaries" 30 "___ girl!" 32 Makes a mistake 33 Stir fry ingredient

34 Paint store options 36 Woman in Pushkin's "Eugene Onegin" 37 Native to a particular area 38 Pop duo on a 1991 postage stamp in their native Sweden 39 Least restrictive 40 Was down in the dumps 41 Hard-to-characterize type 45 "Despicable Me" main character 46 Creaks while you speak 47 "Te ___" 49 ___-Rooter 50 Contact list listing: abbr. 51 Spreadable cheese 52 Prefix for "distant" 53 Rolaids competitor 55 "Pierrot le ___" (1965 Jean-Luc Godard film) For answers, call (900) 226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Or to bill to a credit card, call (800) 655-6549. Reference puzzle #0480.

Writers Wanted Second Supper is looking to add freelance writers to write community features. Send letter of introduction, topic ideas and 500-word sample(s) to editor@secondsupper.com.

Second Supper

August 26, 2010 // 11

THE LAST WORD

The ADviCe GODDess By Amy Alkon amy.alkon@secondsupper.com Bye now! (Pay later)

There's never a good time to break up with your girlfriend, but there is a really bad time, and that’s what I chose. I did it over the phone as she was boarding a plane to attend her best friend’s wedding. I thought it would be good for her to be with friends after hearing the news, but it ruined her weekend. She pretty much thinks I'm a terrible self-centered idiot, and she's right. Here's the good part: I want her back. I'm really not sure why I did it in the first place. I guess I thought she'd be better off without me, and enjoy city life while she’s young and single. (She’s 26, I’m 31.) Now I can't sleep, eat, or think without her, but she won’t even talk to me. We used to love sitting in a chair together and reading your column on weekends. I’d give anything to be back in that chair with her, reading this and your answer. — Heartbroken

Accidents do happen. If you aren’t careful, you might walk into a plate glass window or methodically go on the Internet to gauge the exact time your girlfriend’s plane is leaving, dial her cell, wait for her to answer, and — whoops! — announce that you’re dumping her … just in time for the fl ight attendant to announce “Please turn off all electronic devices, and sit back and enjoy your fl ight.” There actually is a good time to break up with somebody, and it’s when you’re sure the relationship’s over. Accordingly, there’s a good time to fi gure out why you’re breaking up, and that’s before you do the deed. And, why did you break up with your girlfriend? Here’s the good part: You’re still not sure! Luckily, you don’t let that stop you from spinning this as some benevolent act on your part. Yeah, sure, you only dumped her to make her happy. You just want her to enjoy herself while she still has her youth. (After all, at 26, she only has six decades before she needs a hip replacement.) Want to do a good deed? Buy a homeless guy new shoes and a turkey sandwich. Want to do right by your girlfriend? Figure out why you dumped her. Commitment issues? Preemptive abandonment (ditching her before she ditches you)? Only if you let her know exactly what she’s dealing with can she assess whether it makes sense to give you another shot, in a way she can’t with “it was just one of those random acts of blithering idiocy.” If you’ve had a pretty good record with her up till now (you’ve never left her at the

mall or anything), you might be able to worm your way back in. You need to express deep remorse for what you did and beg her to take you back (be specifi c about why she’s so great and why you’re great together). Of course, getting her to even talk to you will take an act of romantic restitution. (Think John Cusack as Lloyd Dobler, standing under his girlfriend’s bedroom window, boombox over his head, blasting Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes.”) Women are suckers for a having a great romantic story to tell, especially one where the guy shows that he gets what an idiot he was to ever take the woman for granted — and not just because he called a friend: “Broke up with her this morning.” Friend: “Dude. She was hot. What’d you do that for?” Guy: “Damn, you’re right. I’ll call back and tell her I was just messing around.”

Even criminals get a second chance. You can’t change a man’s character, but you can whisper in his ear, “softer” or “a little slower.” Don’t make it about what he’s doing wrong but about what you really like. Kiss him the way you want to be kissed. If need be, tell him what turns you on, like how you love gentle biting on your bottom lip (as grateful as you are to have discovered what it’s like to close your eyes and be licked upside the mouth by a romantically minded Great Dane). Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or e-mail AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com).

Sudoku

Mouth trap

I really like this guy I’ve started dating. We’ve only kissed once. He’s not a great kisser. Can you teach somebody to kiss better? My girlfriends say a bad kisser is a dealbreaker. — Wondering With friends like yours, Snow White would still be in a coma. The prince would maybe put too much saliva into the kiss, and she’d wake up for a moment — just long enough to exclaim, “Eeeuw! You kiss bad!” — then pull the silk pillow over her head and go back to bed for the rest of her life. Come on, the guy kissed you once.

Downtown La Crosse, above Fayzes - 782-6622

top shots joke of the week

Check out our new Beers on Tap!

A guy is sitting at a bar when he hears a little voice say, "Gee, you look really nice in that suit." He looks around but doesn't see anyone, so he returns to drinking. A little while later he hears "Did you just get a haircut? It's sharp." The guy looks to the bartender and says "Did you say something?" The bartender says no, so the man goes back to drinking. Finally he hears that same voice say "Have you lost some weight? You're looking trim." The guy says to the bartender: "What's the big idea? I've just heard someone talk to me three times, but there's no one else in the bar." The bartender replies. "It's not me, mate. It's the pretzels. They're complimentary."

Good People, Good Drinks, Good Times

SUNDAY

$5 Pitchers $2 Bottles of Miller Products (11-4 pm) $2 Corona Bottles $2 Kilo Kai Mixers $3 Bloody’s (7-1am)

MONDAY TUESDAY

$1.75 - Miller/Bud Taps $2.25 Micro/Craft Taps $2.50 Cherry Bombs (7-1am)

$1.75 Rails $1.50 Domestic Taps $3.50 Jager Bombs (7-1am)

$2.00 - 1 Player, $3.00 - 2 Players 50 Cents Off Drinks, $1 Off Pitchers

WEDNESDAY $2 Domestic Bottles $2.50 Skyy/Absolute Mixers $2 Dr. Shots (7-1am)

THURSDAY FRIDAY 5 Domestic Bottles 4 $10 $5 Micro/Import Bottles $11.50, $7 Micro/Craft Pitchers (7-1am)

$5 Miller Lite/Bud Light Pitchers

SATURDAY $2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1am)

$2 Captain Mixers $2 Long Islands $3 Effen Vodka Mixers (7-1am)

from Page 10

12// August 26, 2010

Second Supper

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