Downtown Steps Out by Second Supper

INSIDE: WEST SIDE STORY DOESN'T JUMP THE SHARK • PAGE 10

La Crosse's Free Press VOLUME 10, NO. 35 | SEPTEMBER 16, 2010

Downtown steps out • Fall fashion show, p.5

PHOTO BY KELLY OTTESEN

• Brand new business, p. 6-7

PLUS: THE MAJAK MIXTAPE • PAGE 11 | FIRST OKTOBERFEST REVIEW • PAGE 13 | THE ADVICE GODDESS • PAGE 15

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Second Supper

Social Networking NAME AND AGE: Cass Jens, 26 WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Madison, WI CURRENT JOB: Student, Photographer's Assistant, Photo Editor, Tutor DREAM JOB: Researcher or Photographer for National Geographic LAST THING YOU GOOGLED: Gamma Distribution. It's a Monday. IF YOU COULD LIVE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, WHERE WOULD IT BE? No single place. I'd love to travel all over the world

WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE: Learn to speak a different language fluently.

WHAT IS YOUR BEVERAGE OF CHOICE? Juice CELEBRITY CRUSH:

LARGE PIZZA & TRIPLE TOPPERSTIX™ $15

608-788-8899 • 325 WEST AVENUE NORTH LACROSSE • SUN-THURS 10:30AM - 3AM, FRI & SAT TILL 3:30AM

608-779-7979 • 605 2ND AVE. S., SUITE 150 ONALASKA • OPEN 10:30AM - 3AM EVERY DAY

A $10 order gets the goods delivered.

Sleep and sweets, combined

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? The texture and sound of walking on salty, crunchy snow.

TELL US A JOKE:

WE LIVE HERE, TOO. ACT WHILE YOU’RE STILL HUNGRY, BECAUSE THIS OFFER EXPIRES 10/24/10 AND YOU’LL SOON BE FULL. ONE DISCOUNT PER ORDER. LOOK FOR OTHER GREAT DEALS AT TOPPERS.COM.

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery

TELL US YOUR GUILTIEST PLEASURE:

ANY LARGE 1-TOPPING PIZZA AND TRIPLE ORDER OF ORIGINAL TOPPERSTIX ™

Michael Jordan

ANY MEDIUM HOUSE OR 3-TOPPING PIZZA

ANY MYZA & SINGLE ORDER OF ORIGINAL TOPPERSTIX™

ANY TWO 6" GRINDERS & TWO 20 OZ SODAS

Add a Quesadilla for ONLY $5.

Compliments of Kari Soltau: 1. Point your pointer finger up and swirl it. Me: knock knock You: who's there? Me: Whoo You: Whoo who?

WHAT'S THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? Water and juice

WHAT'S IN YOUR POCKET RIGHT NOW?: Not a single thing, yet

IF A GENIE GRANTED YOU ONE WISH, WHAT WOULD YOU ASK FOR? Longer days and perfect weather

Act while you’re still hungry, because this offer expires 10/24/10 and you’ll soon be full. One discount per order plus tax and delivery. Look for other great deals at Toppers.com.

ANY MEDIUM 1-TOPPING PIZZA & SINGLE ORDER OF ORIGINAL TOPPERSTIX™

ANY 18" PARTYSIZED 3-TOPPING PIZZA Add a Quesadilla for ONLY $5.

Add a Quesadilla for ONLY $5. Act while you’re still hungry, because this offer expires 10/24/10 and you’ll soon be full. One discount per order plus tax and delivery. Look for other great deals at Toppers.com.

Act while you’re still hungry, because this offer expires 10/24/10 and you’ll soon be full. One discount per order plus tax and delivery. Look for other great deals at Toppers.com.

ANY LARGE HOUSE OR 3-TOPPING PIZZA & TRIPLE ORIGINAL TOPPERSTIX™ Add a Quesadilla for ONLY $5.

Act while you’re still hungry, because this offer expires 10/24/10 and you’ll soon be full. One discount per order plus tax and delivery. Look for other great deals at Toppers.com.

FIRST CONCERT YOU WENT TO: Some sort of Jimmy Buffet cover band at a lakeshore bar.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PART OF SECOND SUPPER? cover design and Things to Do section

HOW DO YOU KNOW SHUGGYPOP?

We're buddies!

— Compiled by Shuggypop Jackson. shuggypop.jackson@secondsupper.com

Second Supper

Things To Do

The Top Desired downtown businesses 1. Food carts 2. Arcade 3. Men’s shoestore 4. Indian buffet 5. Haberdashery 6. Hookah bar 7. Vietnamese takeout Best-named fabrics 1. Herringbone 2. Cable-knit 3. Argyle 4. Corduroy 5. Tulle 6. Fishnet 7. Spandex

September 16, 2010 // 3

FIRST THINGS FIRST Experience a car-free Pettibone. You can come by bike. By skateboard. By scooter. By foot. But don’t come by car. “The Pettibone Experience: A car-free day in the park” will be held from 7 a.m. to 6 p.m. Sunday, Sept. 19. The event at Pettibone Park will include a Geo Quest, yoga, Ultimate Frisbee, Zumba class, free bicycle safety checks, disc golf scramble, free market, bike rodeo, bike decorating, messenger relay races, free root beer floats and a fishing derby. T.U.G.G. and other local musicians will provide music from 3 to 6 p.m. While cars are not allowed in the park, there will be parking by the beach house and across the highway for those who live far away.

Make a better Wisconsin, with pancakes Wisconsin Way’s “Blueprint for Change 2010” will be discussed at a breakfast forum at 7 a.m. Tuesday, Sept. 21, in Valhalla in the Cartwright Center building on the UW-La Crosse campus. The blueprint outlines Wisconsin Way’s recommendations for economic development and job growth in the 7 Rivers region. The discussion moderators will be Jim Wood from Wisconsin Way, a partnership of several public and private state organizations, and James Buchen of the Wisconsin Manufacturers and Commerce organization. Registration is $20 and pre-registration is required. Seating is limited. To register and for more information, go to www.uwlax.edu/bdc.

APPLES! Fall is in the air as this classic festival celebrates its 62nd year. That’s right: La Cresent’s AppleFest takes place this weekend. The festivities begin Thursday and run through Sunday. Offerings include the Run to the Edge 5k, an arts and crafts fair and, of course, the chance to snag that delicious looking apple pie. Live music will take place in the evening. For a schedule of events, visit http://applefestusa.com/schedule/.

Get sleepy, very sleepy Have you ever been hypnotized? If not then the opportunity is yours Thursday as UW-La Crosse hosts hypnotist Sailesh. The event kicks off at 8:30 p.m. in Valhalla in the Cartwright CenterGunning Addition. The interactive performance consists of hypnosis, improv, music and laughter. The event is free. For more information, call the Cartwright Center Information Counter at (608) 785-8898 or visit www. uwlax.edu/cab.

See brothers like no other They sing. They dance. They joke. They juggle. They're the The Flying Karamazov Brothers, and they will be swinging into Viterbo University on Saturday night to kick off the Bright Star Season. Unless you grew up in a circus, there's a good chance you've never seen anything like this. The show begins at 7:30 p.m. in the Viterbo Fine Arts Center. Tickets are $29 to $36 and can be purchased up at the box office at 900 Viterbo Dr., or by calling 796-3100.

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WisPolitics.com Stock Report .........

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Second Supper

COMMENTARY

STOCK REPORT

RISING Tom Barrett: The Dem guv hopeful didn’t get the drawn out and bloody GOP primary that he’d hoped for. But he's getting to sit back and enjoy the fireworks between Neumann and Walker over the final week of the primary – and possibly face a financially depleted Walker once the whole thing is over. Barrett reports $2.6 million in the bank at the end of August, while Walker had $1.2 million, a chunk of which insiders expect will be spent by Tuesday’s primary. The conventional wisdom has been that Barrett needed a good fight between Neumann and Walker to allow him to conserve his resources while the two Republicans duked it out. That didn’t happen for much of the summer, and Barrett went on the attack to keep Walker from getting too far ahead, insiders say.

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MIXED Barack Obama The president swings into the state once again — this time on the Milwaukee lakefront for a Labor Day rally, firing up union members with a series of shots at Republicans designed for national media consumption. But his call for a $50 billion infrastructure package gets mixed reviews, and some Dems refuse to embrace the call. Russ Feingold’s decision to stay away from the president’s rally also becomes a subhead to the president’s visit as insiders debate whether Obama’s sagging poll numbers are becoming an anchor for fellow Dems. Still, the president picks Madison for a Sept. 28 rally, the first of four swing state visits planned as part of the run-up to Election Day. That will be his sixth visit since early 2009 to Wisconsin, which he won by double digits. If he’s spending that much time in Wisconsin, critics say, things must be bad for Dems.

FALLING

MyEaglesNest.NET

UW-Madison student fees The state’s flagship campus has been in court off and on over the past decade wrangling with conservative student groups about how it doles out mandatory student fees. Following a U.S. Supreme Court decision, the university adopted a viewpoint neutral policy, pledging it wouldn't discriminate based on a group’s positions. But it also refused to give out student funds for worship, proselytizing or religious instruction because it believed doing so would violate the separation of church and state. A federal district court judge rejected that argument, as did the 7th Circuit Court of Appeals. Considering the university’s past problems with how it gives out the money, the appeals court gets in a little dig that the ruling isn’t just a suggestion and it would be wise to follow the law this time.

THAT'S DEBATABLE Editor's Note: WisOpinion.com has asked two veterans of Wisconsin policy and politics, Scot Ross of One Wisconsin Now and Brian Fraley of the John K. MacIver Institute for Public Policy, to engage in weekly exchanges on a topic of their choosing. This week they debate the Sept. 14 primary election. FRALEY: Well, Scot, the primary is upon us. As we write this hundreds of campaign operatives are popping Tums, downing copious amounts of caffeine and sweating every misplaced yard sign. I think we can agree on two things. One, we are quite happy not to be working on campaigns anymore; and two, November is shaping up to be a banner year for conservative candidates. Barring an unprecedented reversal of public opinion, the GOP is set to surge into power as the public rejects the failed neo-Keynesian economics of the Obama administration and the rudderless steerage of the ship of state by Wisconsin Democrats. My question is, do the issues matter this fall? I still think jobs and the economy are atop the list and that candidates across the ballot need to make their case to voters on those issues specifically. National wave or not, addressing the woeful jobs record of the current liberal Democrats in power, and offering a solid alternative could be the key between the GOP here riding the wave, or helping create a tsunami that tosses dozens of the tax-and-spenders from power. ROSS: Hey Brian — I think conservatives ready with champagne bottles might wanna check themselves (lest they wreck themselves, or our economy ... again). Jobs are the issue, and voters are dissatisfied with the inability of Democrats in charge to undue the catastrophe they inherited from the failed Republican policies of tax cuts for the rich paid for by the middle class and endless deregulation. But what are the policies Republicans are offering? More tax cuts for the wealthy and more deregulation for corporations? Do conservatives really think the people are dopey enough to fall for the same GOP failure again?

FRALEY: You will get no argument from me that elections need to be won, and that Wisconsin is capable of bucking national trends. That being said, the stimulus has been such a colossal failure and the Doyle administration's spending has been so loathsome, that many independent voters have already outright dismissed voting for a Democrat this fall. That's not to say they won't stay home, however, which is why campaigns need to address the issues they care about in order to bring them into the fold. Republicans who connect with voters and explain how runaway government spending leads to short-term tightening of the private sector and a long-term debt burden on future generations will be rewarded in November. Sen. Russ Feingold is in a petulant panic because he knows his support of the failed stimulus has made him vulnerable. That's why he's hemming and hawing over the latest $50 billion stimulus boondoggle. Gov. Jim Doyle gave the Greater Wisconsin Committee $1 million to finance the attack ads against Scott Walker. I'm obviously not the only one to notice what's going on. ROSS: I think you may be misreading the tea (party) leaves. The only failure of the Recovery Act is that it included too little in spending. The prez tried to placate the Party of No with tax cuts, but they still put politics above recovery. I suppose the other mistake was fiscally responsible strategy by Democrats to try and show accountability for job creation. Can you imagine if when Republicans were running amok in DC they were required to show if tax cuts for the rich created jobs? Or if we fully documented how many jobs have been shipped overseas as result of the endless corporate subsidies paid for by taxpayers so cherished by the conservatives? People are angry and Dems who don’t articulate the clear choice at hand will take some lumps in the fall. But the first GOPer you can find me who’s not touting tax cuts, deregulation or privatization (aka the GOP holy trinity), will be the first I’ve come across. And the middle class knows when they hear the trinity to run screaming.

NEWS IN BRIEF Feingold campaign calls Johnson ad 'blatently false' Russ Feingold’s campaign has asked Republican Ron Johnson to pull a TV ad claiming the senator has “not worked anywhere outside of politics,” calling it “blatantly false.” Feingold campaign manager George Aldrich wrote to Johnson’s campaign manager that the Middleton Democrat worked for his family’s title and abstract business when he was 15, worked his way through college and worked in private practice as an attorney. The letter notes The Associated Press has reported the ad falsely claims Feingold never worked outside of politics. “You have every right to ignore the media but you have a responsibility to the people of Wisconsin to tell the truth,” Aldrich wrote.

Although acknowledging the incumbent has had work experience outside of being an elected official, the Oshkosh Republican businessman continued to paint the incumbent as a career politician on Sunday's “UpFront with Mike Gousha.” “If you take a look at his history … what has he done with his life?” Johnson said. “He went out to Harvard, went out to Oxford, came back, worked for a couple of years in a law firm, probably while he was running for election to the state Senate. He served 10 years in the state Senate and now he's served close to 18 years in the U.S. Senate. I believe that would be a definition of a career politician.”

Second Supper

COMMUNITY

September 16, 2010 // 5

Look. Live. Love. Fashion

DMI director Tim Kabat in a fitted tux from Scott Joseph Menswear.

Downtown La Crosse Fashion Show Cass Jens wearing red from Dale's.

Justin Nagle modeling for Dale's.

Megan Reilly modeling for Lillians.

Sept. 9, 2010 All clothing by local retailers Photos by Kelly Ottesen

Megan Reilly wearing Touch of Class.

Tami Bartels modeling for Heart Song Center.

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COMMUNITY

Second Supper

What recession?

La Crosse downtown bucks national trend

For the past few years, practically the only thing we’ve heard from the national media is how poorly the U.S. economy is performing. Employment figures, economic output and general optimism are down across the board, but here in downtown La Crosse, it feels something like a business boom. In the past six months, nearly two dozen businesses have opened or expanded in the commercial district between the Mississippi River and 7th Street, and more stores, employers and restaurants are planning to move in soon. “It’s a pretty impressive number, and it does speak to the strength of our area,” said Tim Kabat, executive director of Downtown Mainstreet Inc., the local business lobbying group. “I think it shows the support that our area has for downtown.” The recent burst of commercial activity follows a long period of economic stagnation that hung over downtown, even as the rest of the country was booming. But decades of vacant storefronts coupled with the return of major employers such as Logistics Health to the downtown

area have created the sort of climate that fosters new enterprise. “Folks can point out the vacant storefronts as a negative,” Kabat said. “That’s not something that you want to have a lot of, but on the other hand those vacant storefronts are a real opportunity.” In other words, a glut of vacancies has lowered rents and encouraged business owners to take a chance downtown. Some of the new owners, like Andrea Fisher of LARK fashion boutique and Peggy Rodriguez of Painted Porch, moved into La Crosse from outside the area. Others are locals who either want to expand existing business or try their hand at something entrepreneurial. There are still about 30 vacant storefronts in the downtown area. Couple that with the rising third LHI building and a not-quite-finished Great River Station, and the prospects for continued downtown development are looking up. The following is a profile of six new or expanded downtown businesses and their reasons for opening in the midst of a recession.

Window shoppers delight

Nestled in the elegant Powell Place on the corner of Main and Second streets is Painted Porch, a young business specializing in home decor, whose 15-foot windows have already proved to be the biggest form of advertising for owner Peggy Rodriguez. “I have serious walk-by here,” Rodriguez explained. “Without anybody even knowing I’m here, I’d still get tons of exposure.” That’s because walking — or even driving — down Main Street, one’s eyes can’t help but be drawn to the fun, sassy merchandise that beckons from behind panes of glass. The decor is mainly comprised of vintage pieces and furniture that Rodriguez uncovers at various estate sales then refurbishes herself. “I have a passion for taking things that are not necessarily pretty and making them fabulous,” she exclaimed. Though Painted Porch is only open three days a week (the rest of the time dedicated to painting and restyling), the shop is doing well. Rodriguez attributes this to a near-constant rotation of inventory, and of course her downtown location. “If you’re a shopper, the unique shops are where you want to go,” she said. “If you had somebody come into town and ask, ‘Where can I go to find a flavor of La Crosse?’ you’re not taking them to the mall, you’re taking them downtown.”

Whiskey River don't run dry

for 18- to 25-year-olds

— Briana Rupel

Although the La Crosse economy will have its ups and downs, the bar business is generally reliable. It’s not static however, as proved by the new ownership of Coconut Joe’s who will be opening their adjoining and freshly renovated nightspot, the Whiskey River Saloon, on Friday. When signs for the Whiskey River Saloon first went up in the windows of the former Ringisde’s earlier this summer, many passers by thought it would open as a country bar. But although the name references a Willie Nelson song and the inside appears to be sided with the wood of an old barn, the Whiskey River Saloon should be a destination for people of all tastes. “It’s just a fun place to go, party it up with a band and have a couple drinks,” said general manager Dave Guistolise. “We try not to overthink it.” Guistolise and two other partners assumed control of Coconut Joe’s on Sept. 10. The ownership group has run a number of bars and restaurants around the county — including the original Whiskey River Saloon on State Street in Madison — but they were attracted to Coconut Joe’s prime location at the corner of Third and Pearl streets. After taking over the popular nightspot, Guistolise said he doesn’t plan on making many changes to Coconut Joe’s, although the company plans to hang 13 plasma screen televisions and reopen the kitchen for dinner. A major attraction at the Whiskey River Saloon will be live music every Friday and Saturday from cover bands flown in from around the country. “Our business isn’t necessarily recession-proof, but people always want to have a good time,” Guistolise explained.

— Adam Bissen

Second Supper

COMMUNITY

Polito’s Pizza, featuring an immense variety of pizzas with both traditional and unconventional toppings, is a specialty pizzeria with a lively atmosphere. Some of Polito’s more novelty slices include Philly Cheese Steak, Chicken Pesto, Macaroni and Cheese, Chicken Bacon Ranch, Steak & Fries and Chicken Quesadilla. Polito’s also boasts the self-proclaimed “largest pizza in Wisconsin,” a 28-inch, 12 pound monstrosity that can earn two people $500 if they eat it in under an hour. The first Polito’s restaurant opened in Stevens Point in July 2007. It was followed by openings in Oshkosh, Wausau and now La Crosse. Asked about opening a new restaurant during an economic crisis, Josh Harke, general manager of the La Crosse shop, said, “The recession didn’t hurt us; I think it’s because our pizza is so cheap.” Harke said Polito’s environment, as well as the extensive variety of pizzas, sets it apart from other local pizzerias. There’s loud music, and the employees always seem to be enjoying themselves. “Our staff does a great job with customer service,” said Harke.

— Jasom Crider

When the shoestore doesn't fit...

Business boom

Over 20 downtown businesses have opened in the past 6 months, with at least three more scheduled to open this fall (represented here with a *). 3RO Trading Company, 319 Main St.: outdoors * 4 Sisters, 100 Harborview Plaza: fine dining All About Brides, 400 Main St.: wedding Bijan Patisserie, 417 King St.: bakery Buddha's Belly, 127 S. Sixth St.: disc golf, lifestyle Campus Gear, 27 S. Third St.: T-shirt shop Cha Guan Tea Shop, 400 Main St.: tea house Club 608, 121 S. Third St.: bar * Crunch, 333 Main St.: artisanal lunch spot Cutie Patootie, 417 Main St.: childrens wear Deja Vu Resale Boutique, 410 Main St.: clothing From the Heart, 318 Main St.: gift shop * Games People Play, 539 Main St.: printing Generous Earth Pottery, 221 Pearl St.: pottery House of Hops, 413 Jay St.: beer supplies Kick, 236 Main St.: women's shoes Lark Fashion Boutique, 319 Main St.: clothing Moon Goon, 200 Main St.: women's fashion Office Solutions USA, 312 S. Third St.: office Painted Porch, 200 Main St.: home decor Polito's Pizza, 116 S. Third St.: pizza by the slice Serenity Nail Spa, 109 N. Fourth St.: nails Salon de Bor, 311 S. Fourth St.: beauty salon Whiskey River Saloon, 223 Pearl St.: bar SOURCE: DOWNTOWN MAINSTREET INC.

In February of 2007, friends Andrea Poukey and Allison Krzych opened a stylish, and quickly successful, business out of a common passion: shoes. At the beginning of this month, La Crosse’s favorite boutique bid farewell to their Main Street location and expanded. Don’t look too far, though. Kick is just around the corner. “We have always said that we’d never be anywhere else,” stated Poukey. “We’d never be in any kind of suburb or mall because there’s nothing like Downtown.” Not only do the “Kick Girls” appreciate the character of Historic Downtown, the area itself is simply great for business. “There are tourists downtown everyday,” explained Krzych. Poukey added that because tourists can still shop via Kick’s website after returning home,they become customers for longer than just that one stay. Of course, their longawaited expansion will only add to their customer base. Kick now offers even a wider selection of women’s shoes and Spanx hosiery, as well as funky belts and handbags. The most-anticipated addition, however, is a rugged downstairs den filled with modern men’s footwear and leather shoulder bags. Poukey and Krzych see tremendous potential in the future of Downtown. “There’s a lot of positivity downtown right now,” explained Poukey. “Our Downtown could support a lot of different kinds of businesses.”

— Briana Rupel

'Bee side

Buddha’s Belly is a disc golf store that also is home to a wide variety of glass tobacco products, hand-crafted jewelry and custom T-shirts, which are all locally made. Although the shop is only a few months old and it opened during a bleak economic time, assistant manager Betsy Denzer said the recession “hasn’t really affected us that much,” citing low prices and a community-oriented business model as primary reasons. “We’re new and fun,” said Denzer. “We like to really get involved with our customers [as well as] the community.” In addition to its inventor of locally made items, Buddha’s Belly supports the local community by sponsoring a disc golf league at Pettibone Park.

— Jasom Crider

Fresh fashion for hard times

Déjà vu Resale Boutique carries a large selection of consignment clothing, all from the Chicago area. The store is an extension of the Déjà vu in Grayslake, Ill., which carries the latest, high-end fashion for a fraction of major retail prices. Amber Miller, store manager, said it’s a practical and trendy way to deal with these tough economic times, and “it’s resale so we’re going green. ... It’s kind of the new thing.” To put it simply, Déjà vu is working to help people dress in the latest fashion while still managing to be economically and environmentally friendly. “Our niche is the unique, higher-end, designer items for 60 to 75 percent off,” store owner Lorilei Neu said. “It’s the way to deal with the recession and still look good.”

— Jasom Crider

A new pizza pie

September 16, 2010 // 7

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Second Supper

ARTS

The Arts Review Bizarro Masterpiece Theatre Medium: Film Ninja Bachelor Party (1991) Director: Bill Hicks Stars: Bill Hicks, Kevin Booth, David Johndrow Writer: Bill Hicks There’s a lot of treasure to be found on Bill Hicks: The Essential Collection, the newest retrospective of the famed comedian’s career, but my favorite thing is Ninja Bachelor Party, a brilliant mockery of martial arts cinema. In this roughly filmed gem, a dirty white boy (tragically) named Clarence Mumford seeks the ancient wisdom of the martial arts in order to become a man and to stop his girlfriend from sleeping with every-

one with a pulse. It should be noted that not one shred of martial arts ability is present in this film. Not only is the ninjitsu kept to a minimum, there is no bachelor party either. Yet what is essentially a tale of guys filming each other fake-fighting is far more hilarious than the usual videos of dudes fake-fighting. Our hero begins the tale as a Robitussin-addicted wreck, constantly berated by his parents for being a loser. After witnessing his beloved servicing a roomful of scumbags, Clarence seeks out an even greater scumbag named Dr. Death, M.D. to teach him how to fight. After that doesn’t turn out so well, our boy follows a mystic communication to Korea. Whether it was North or South Korea, no one can say, but the landscape looks disturbingly like American woodlands and a golf course. There, he studies under the tutelage of a badly bald-capped and eyebrowed Asian ninja master. They train hard to a sweet musical anthem, and they get lit up on magic mushrooms and throw knives at each other. Finally confirmed as a martial arts master, Clarence returns to the States and busts his old master humping his girlfriend. After a brawl spanning the entire city, Clarence takes out Dr. Death using the ancient Chinese art of bicycling. Both Clarence and the two martial arts masters — both gurus played by Bill Hicks — are wonderfully inept kung-fu fighters, but

what sets Ninja Bachelor Party over the edge is the absurd dialogue dubbed into the film. All characters are voiced by the filmmakers, and their stream of consciousness ramblings — especially those of any character voiced by Hicks — soon become the film’s best quality. Ninja Bachelor Party is low-budget goofball filmmaking at its best. Throughout his career, Bill Hicks didn’t stray far from stand-up, and in fact this is his only appearance in cinema. His choice in film roles was extremely wise.

— Brett Emerson

The Screening Room Medium: Film Resident Evil: Afterlife 2D (2010) Director: Paul W.S. Anderson Cast: Milla Jovovich, Ali Larter, Wentworth Miller Writer: Paul W.S Anderson The fourth installment in the popular film series based on the classic survival-horror videogames, Resident Evil: Afterlife succeeds in completely phasing out all traces of anything resembling horror. Not that this string of Razzie-bait had much of it to begin with. The goal has always been mindless ac-

tion and lots of it, and Afterlife makes good on its promise of resilient action heroine Alice (Jovovich) accruing a high body count to the sounds of incessant techno and "Let the bodies hit the floor"-style nu-metal. To the series' credit, each installment benefits from a distinctive, well-defined setting. Afterlife opens in Japan, where an army of Alice clones battles an army of evil Umbrella Corp. henchmen under the command of Albert Wesker (Shawn Roberts, in a so-exaggerated-it's-embarassing performance). The action shifts quickly to an abandoned prison, where outside millions of undead clamor to get at the survivors holed-up within. Despite taking place in the aftermath of a worldwide zombie apocalypse, Afterlife features only a few set pieces in which Alice and the other survivors battle the undead. That's because writer-director Paul W.S Anderson attempts to shoehorn in obligatory, throwaway character development that the genre doesn't require and that fans certainly don't want to sit through. It all amounts to a climax that's less than compelling — the film probably should have ended with the scene that opens it. Only there do we get to see Jovovich fully stake her claim as an iconic action star — she'd fit right in with the beefcakes of Sylvester Stallone's equally hokey Expendables. — Nick Cabreza

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Chicago , r e w o T ) s r a e S ( Willis , Altra member

hn Hestekin Jo by d te it bm su to ho Winning P

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Second Supper

September 16, 2010 // 9

LA CROSSE’ S N EWEST & T RUEST PUB & EATERY WITHOUT Monday: T HE F RANCHISE! All U Can Eat Wings includes choice of potato, slaw and a frosted Pint. 4-9:30 $8.99

Tuesday: Wisconsin cheese steak sandwich $8.99 with a frosted Pint. Wednesday: Ladies Night, $1 Off All Drinks 4-Cl. Pint-Aritas $3.00 (lime or strawberry)

Thursday: All U Can Eat Boneless Wings includes choice of potato, slaw and a frosted Pint. 4-9:30 $8.99 Watch Brewers and Nascar - 8 Plasma TV’s • Food & Drink Specials Smoke Freee

Outdoor Patioo Now open Serving Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner 7 dayss per week Karaoke on Thursdays and Live Music on Weekends Happy Hour Mon.-Fri. 4-6pm

400 Lang Drive, La Crosse 20222585jg

(Across From Menards) 784-2242

10// September 16, 2010

ARTS

Second Supper

Review: West Side Story a cool, snappy take on beloved story By Jonathan Majak jonathan.majak@secondsupper.com After leaving La Crosse Community Theatre’s production of West Side Story, I was left with two distinct thoughts: 1) What a better world we’d have if all conflicts were fought through mambos and 2) When can I see this show again? The fantastic production playing until Sept. 26 breathes youthful vitality into the musical theatre classic of love, lost, gang life and occasional finger snapping in the streets of New York City in the 1950s. As directed by Greg Parmeter and choreographed by Scott Jenks and Anna Smerud, LCT’s production works spectacularly well due in small part to the youthful cast but also because LCT took something of a liability, the small nature of its stage, and used it to its advantage. I had initial concerns about how they would do big dance numbers like the famous Dance at the Gym/Mambo number, but as staged at LCT, the number has a new sense of danger. There isn’t space for the gangs to compose themselves to breathe; every dance move could easily turn into a rumble. And for a show such as West Side Story, that sort of tension only heightens the quality of the production and highlights the need for all theatres in town to understand the space in which they are working and to use weaknesses to their advantage. There are, frankly, not enough column inches to detail all the wonderful performances that happen in the production, but I will, with brevity, try to cover them all. As Tony and Maria, Aaron White and Sara Meyer have the chemistry and voices to make you believe that they can fall in love with each other on first sight. And while star-crossed teenage lover is of the most intrinsically exasperating type of teenager, White and Meyer had me buying the romance from the get-go and were particularly great in “One Hand, One Heart.” Emily Pearse and Devin Horne as Anita and Bernardo were my personal favorites of the production, adeptly handling their

At A Glance

WHAT: West Side Story WHERE: La Crosse Community Theatre WHEN: Sept. 16-18 & 23-25 at 7:30 p.m.; Sept. 19 & 26 at 2 p.m. TICKETS: $22; students & active miliary $10 (Thursday & Sunday only) FOR MORE INFORMATION: 784-9292 or lacrossecommunitytheatre.org accents, dancing up a storm and sharply delving into the pathos of the tragedy of the musical while also, especially Pearse, delivering the best one-liners with wit. Written with more depth than Tony and Maria, Pearse and Horne run with it and help create a nice counterbalance to the puppy-dog love of Tony and Maria. Jordan Steubs and Skyler Erickson as Riff and Action balance the inherent theatricality of dancing gang members without losing the grit and menace of their characters’ backgrounds, no small feat in the least. As Doc, Tom DesJarlais continues to prove there is no scene he can’t steal with his comedic timing. The rest of the ensemble were fantastic and will probably be toothpicks by the end of the show given the high energy choreography they perform with the necessary gusto. Special note to the fantastic set and light design by Dillon McArdle. If the good acting, dancing and singing don’t tempt you to go, just go with some earplugs and look at the set that wonderfully captures New York City. Opening-night sound issues that caused cast members to be drowned out a bit during the choruses in the first couple of numbers and some questionable harmonies among the male members of the ensemble notwithstanding, the show was a tightly constructed and run production that completely blew away the skepticism I had going into it. So don’t play it cool; instead, go see West Side Story at La Crosse Community Theatre.

Second Supper

The Majak Mixtape By Jonathan Majak jonathan.majak@secondsupper.com Oh portly members of the Harry Potter fandom. It was announced on Monday that Universal Studios is having to adjust seats for their “Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey” ride to make it more accessible for thicker patrons. So far they have only fixed a few of the overhead harnesses but have every intention to have all of the remaining vehicles in the ride tweaked. In the meantime, we here at Mixtape would like to suggest some music to jog/walk/run/wizard to burn all of those butterbeer calories in a mix we’re calling “Harry Potter and the Bally’s Gym Membership.” First up we have a flashback to pre-Taylor Swift interrupting Kanye West with his song “The New Workout Plan” from his debut album College Dropout. A soul clapping ode to gold diggers and their various workout routines to land their man, this was back when West’s ego was relatively smaller, he hadn’t told people George Bush didn’t care about black people and hadn’t done that Autotune album. We’re sure the angry mob that has fol-

By Brett Emerson brett.emerson@secondsupper.com

Medium: Multiple Stimulus: Bill Hicks — The Essential Collection Anno: 2010 The problem with heroes is that after a while — and especially once they’re dead — they don’t get to be anything other than heroes. Alongside Lenny Bruce, whose myth has him censored to death, Bill Hicks has become one character in the comedian’s world to be saddled with this uncomfortable status. Yet perhaps more than Bruce himself, Hicks has been elevated to a nigh-messianic plateau, his flaws erased, his comedy bleached into the colors of philosophy. As a person who often railed against groupthink and blind praise, I don’t think Hicks himself would accept the crown he has been bestowed. The great service provided by Bill Hicks: The Essential Collection, the new box set retrospective of the man’s life and work, is that it goes beyond the philosopher mystique. The two discs of stand-up recordings feature his famed rants on drugs, sex, marketing, and the many ways that society is designed to keep its citizens stupid and obedient. It’s a natural starting point for those new to Bill’s work, though old fans may have heard most of these pieces before. There is a swerve in the audio end, how-

MUSIC

September 16, 2010 // 11

lowed Kanye, seeking blood for hurting the feelings of the squinty-eyed country-pop princess, have kept Kanye fit and trim. Next up is Kylie Minogue and her tune “Aphrodite” from her album, also called Aphrodite. We love Kylie Minogue around these parts at Majak Mixtape. She’s like Madonna with an accent of actual purpose, Britney Spears without the stink of Cheetos, an accessible pop diva extraordinaire. Plus, we lost countless pounds in college trying to escape the sound of “Can’t Get You Out of My Head” when it was dominating the airwaves. Lastly, we have Ciara and her tune “I Run It” off her serially delayed album Basic Instinct, coming out sometime between now and the Apocalypse. After a heavy duty workout, it’s always important to cool down and Ciara’s midtempo, Prince-esque sounding jam produced by Tricky Stewart and The-Dream is smooth as silk and calm as a serenity pond. We admire Ciara and her fitness routine to get her body to be on point. We hear it mainly consists of trying to hold onto relevancy’s coattails for dear life. Buy: Chromeo’s new album Business Casual YouTube: Brandon Flowers of The Killers music video “Crossfire” Read: NY Mag’s Daily Intel at www. nymag.com/daily/intel Don’t forget to get your daily, uncensored dose of the Majak Mixtape at the Majak Kingdom blog (www. majakkingdom.blogspot.com) ever. Enclosed in the collection is a download card that allows the audience to obtain an album of recorded music from Bill’s website. As opposed to the faint sounds of acoustic guitar that drifted through his stand-up recordings, this work, titled Lo-Fi Troubadour, is a full album of quietly passionate acoustic ballads. What’s best about this facet of the compilation is that Troubadour was clearly recorded without an agenda, that it was simply Bill documenting another of his passions. That said, he’d be a hit at any open mic. “The Road Is Long” is a beautiful breakup song, whereas “Waiting to Meet You,” despite its surface cheer, is a rather murderous tune. The best part of The Essential Collection is in fact the video section. While most such audio/video sets tend to treat the visual as secondary, this collection rewards those who want to go deeper into Bill’s work. Yet the most illuminating artifacts are the many bootleg videos of Bill performing stand-up over the years. It’s startling to see a young Bill Hicks, just out of high school, clean cut and wearing a tie. His comedy is largely apolitical, mostly joking about the craziness of his family. Compared to his later work, it’s very nonthreatening, and yet it’s also incredibly funny. And here’s the point that the video section drives home: Bill Hicks was a brilliant comedian long before he ever became a social critic. With all due respect to what he had to say, The Essential Collection rightly maintains that Bill could have said anything and brought the house down. True to its title, this collection is essential in breaking up the myth of Bill Hicks to show more of the admirable person beyond. To read Brett's interview with the Hicks family, go to secondsupper.com or ymarksthespot.org.

-$5µT $5µ 1PTTJCJMJUZ

Director: Greg Parmeter • Musical Director: Dustin Bagstad and Mary Blaha-DeBoer • Choreographers: Scott Jenks and Anna Smerud • Stage Manager: Tami Wolden • Technical Director: Dillon McArdle • Costume Designer: Mandy Parmeter

12// September 16, 2010

Second Supper

MUSIC

music directory // September 17 to September 23 just a roadie away FRIDAY, .

September 17

Minneapolis

COACH'S (HOLMEN) // 3210 Hwy. 35 The Levitating Train Committee, Common Ground , The Pipe Stone Band, Red Sky Warning, Carnal Ground (battle of the bands) • 6:45 p.m.

population

ARCADE FIRE, CALEXICO // SEPT. 22 Roy Wilkins Auditorium • $39 PRIMUS // OCT. 1 Orpheum Theatre • $32.50

HOWIE'S // 1125 La Crosse St. Cutty Currency, Thoroughbred C.E.O. Proto Mele (rap, rock) • 9 p.m.

WIZ KHALIFA, YELAWOLF // OCT. 5 First Avenue • $15.75

FREIGHT HOUSE // 107 Vine St. Blue Jupiter (pop) • 7:30 p.m. NIGHTHAWKS TAP // 401 S. Third St. Blackwater (funk, R&B) • 10 p.m. PEARL STREET BREWERY // 1401 St. Andrew St.

Dave Orr (man about town) • 5 p.m. PIGGY'S BLUES LOUNGE // 501 Front St. S. Dust Bowl Blues Band (blues) • 8 p.m. POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Hyentyte (jamband) • 10 p.m. SEVEN BRIDGES // 910 Second Ave. N. B. Squat Woody (songwriter, 12-string guitarist) • 7:30 p.m. THE JOINT // 324 Jay St. Cheech & The Feelin’ (pop) • 10 p.m. THE ROOT NOTE // 114 4th St. S. The Blackberry Bushes (roots, bluegrass) • 8:30 p.m. THE WAREHOUSE // 324 Pearl St. Some Hear Explosions (rock) • 7:30 p.m. THE WATERFRONT TAVERN // 328 Front St. Chris Bucheit & Steve Meger (jazz guitar duo) • 8 p.m. TRAIN STATION BBQ // 601 St. Andrew St. 46th Midwest Banjo Jamboree (good time fun) • 7 p.m.

SATURDAY,

September 18

FEATURES // 1425 Hwy. 16 (West Salem) Flashback (hair band) • 9 p.m.

387,970

NICK LOWE // OCT. 5-6 Dakota Jazz Club & Restaurant • $35 What would La Crosse be like without the Root Note? We’re not sure, but it would probably have a lot less folk music. If you’ve never seen a show at the Root Note before, come down Friday night as they host one of their favorite bands, the Blackberry Bushes from Olympia, Wash. A four-piece string band with roots in Appalachian music and a tinge of West coast flair, the “Bushes” perform some of the sweetest, most heart-wrenching harmonies we’ve ever heard. Seriously, go their Web site, stream some tunes and be transported to a more enchanting, ethereal place. Then come to the Root Note Friday night at 8:30 p.m. and see the real deal.

FREIGHT HOUSE // 107 Vine St. Blue Jupiter (pop) • 7:30 p.m. JB'SSPEAKEASY // 717 Rose St. Nimbus, Perverse Engineer (psychedelic rock) • 10 p.m. PIGGY'S BLUES LOUNGE // 501 Front St. S. Dust Bowl Blues Band (blues) • 8 p.m. NIGHTHAWKS TAP // 401 S. Third St. This Could be the Day, This Machine (hard rock) • 10 p.m. POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Roster McCabe (jam, soul) • 10 p.m. RIVER JACK'S //1835 Rose St. Spin Off Band (variety) • 6 p.m.

SUNDAY,

September 19

THE WATERFRONT TAVERN // 328 Front St. Chris Bucheit & Steve Meger (jazz guitar duo) • 8 p.m.

GUIDED BY VOICES // OCT. 12 First Avenue • $23.75

WEDNESDAY,

September 22

FRENCH SLOUGH // 1311 La Crescent St. Kin Pickin’ (jam grass) • 3 p.m.

DEL’S BAR // 229 Third St. Travis Oppelt (acoustic) • 10 p.m.

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Som’n Jazz (jazz) • 10 p.m.

Bad Axe Jam (gear provided) • 10 p.m.

TRAIN STATION BBQ // 601 St. Andrew St. 46th Midwest Banjo Jamboree (good time fun) • 7 p.m.

Jazz Liver (jazz) • 10 p.m.

MONDAY,

September 20

NIGHTHAWKS TAP // 401 S. Third St. POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. RECOVERY ROOM // 901 7th St. S. Kin Pickin' (open jam) • 10 p.m.

DEL’S BAR // 229 Third St. Open Jam • 10 p.m.

THE WAREHOUSE // 324 Pearl St. Renae, Dorian's Decay, All Skylines Collide, Behind These Eyes, Lasting Impression (post-punk) • 6 p.m.

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Shawn's Open jam • 10 p.m.

THURSDAY,

SEVEN BRIDGES // 910 Second Ave. N. THE ROOT NOTE // 114 4th St. S. B. Squat Woody (songwriter, 12-string Daniel and the Lion (folk) • 8:30 p.m. guitarist) • 7:30 p.m. THE ROOT NOTE // 114 4th St. S. Maritza! (gypsy, klezmer) • 8:30 p.m.

INSANE CLOWN POSSE // OCT. 11 First Avenue • $23.50

TUESDAY,

September 21

September 23

DEL’S BAR // 229 Third St. T.U.G.G. (acoustic) • 10 p.m. NIGHTHAWKS TAP // 401 S. Third St. Dave Orr's Damn Jam (open jam) • 10 p.m.

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Dave Orr (open jam) • 10 p.m.

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Heatbox (human beatbox) • 10 p.m.

THE ROOT NOTE // 114 4th St. S. 3rd Relation Jazz Trio (jazz) • 8:30 p.m.

THE STARLITE LOUNGE // 222 Pearl St. Kies and Kompanie (jazz) • 5 p.m.

Second Supper

The Beer Review Oktoberfest-Märzen Hacker-Pschorr Brewery Munich, Germany It’s September, and for beer lovers worldwide this means just one thing: Oktoberfest. Who said we weren’t ahead of our time? Now when I say “Oktoberfest,” I’m not talking about that rowdy silver anniversary bash La Crosse will host next weekend, nor is this an exclusive reference to the Munich festival that will celebrate its bicentennial in 2010. Oktoberfest is a style of beer, one also known as a “Märzen” due to the month in which it’s traditionally brewed (that’s March, for all you non-Deutschsprechers). Oktoberfests are toasty lagers brewed for fall, and as the leaves turn orange and the

breeze blows brisk, no other beer quite captures this feeling. It takes a certain kind of palette to love Oktoberfests, but it doesn’t help when many domestic breweries peddle a coppery sludge just to fulfill their seasonal obligations or get party people hammered. So for the first my Märzen review of the season I decided to go back to the source with Hacker-Pschorr, a brewery that traces its ancestry to 1417 and is one of six beermakers allowed to vend at Munich’s Oktoberfest. As I sat up in the swank Starlite Lounge last week and quaffed my first pint, I felt transported to a new season. This was a feeling I’d be getting used to. Purchase: 1 pint of Hacker-Pschorr Oktoberfest-Märzen at the Starlite Lounge, $2.75 (happy hour price) Style: Märzen/Oktoberfest

Strength: 5.8 percent ABV Packaging: The classic Hacker-Pschorr tap features a well-dressed German man, whom I assume to be Joseph Pschorr, painted above a blue and white checkered flag. Appearance: This was a deep brown, almost mahogany, colored beer that had minimal head and lacing. But that could have been due to the pour. Aroma: Malts occupy most of the nose and give this a satisfying aroma of molasses or brown sugar, but it’s the slight kick of noble hops that makes this stand out from most domestic Märzens. Whereas many American Oktoberfests muddle their ingredients, the Hacker-Pschorr remains assertive for the entire spectrum of senses. Taste: As the aroma suggests, malts fill the majority of the palette, but it’s the slight hop touches that carry it through the mouth. The Hacker-Pschorr tastes surpris-

The Best Food & Drink Specials in Town LOCATION

September 16, 2010 // 13

YOUR GUIDE TO CONSUMPTION

SUNDAY

ingly sharp and clean when it first hits the tongue, but then it warms with a malty sweetness like a molasses cookie with earthy overtones. Before it gets too sweet, the Old World hops dry the flavor at the finish so the aftertaste is something like an autumn leaf pile — but in an intriguing way. Mouthfeel: It’s medium-bodied, neither too heavy nor light. Drinkability: By the steinfull! This would be a fine beer for a long day of festing. Ratings: BeerAdvocate gives this an A-, while RateBeer scores it an 88, tabulating several hundred votes from drinkers around the world. Not for nothing is Hacker-Pschorr an international standard for Oktoberfests. Prost! — Adam Bissen

MONDAY

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

ARENA

Midwest Poker League 7 p.m.

Closed

Wyld Wednesday: $2 Jumbo UV, mixers $1.50 Coronas

Ladies' Night, $5 Long Island pitchers

$1 Cherry Bombs, $1 Keystone Light silos

BODEGA BREW PUB

$2 BBQ Pork Sliders

2-Fers, Buy any regularly priced food item and get one of equal or lesser value for free

$2.50 Coors vs. Keystone pitchers. All specials 9 p.m. to close

AUC2D: $5, domestic taps, rail mix- 10-cent wings, $1 Miller High Life ers, Long Islands. All specials 9 p.m. bottles, $1.50 rail mixers; $2.50 call to close drinks. All specials 9 p.m. to close.

AUC2D: $5, domestic taps, rail mixers and Long Islands. Wristband Night: $2.50 SoCo & Jack. All specials 9 p.m. to close., 50¢ shots (2 flavors)

$3 3 Olives mixers, $3 Mojitos, $2 $3 Bacardi mixers, $3 Mojitos, $2 Cherry Bombs, $1 Bazooka Joe's; Cherry bombs, $1 Bazooka Joe's. FAC: $3 domestic pitchers, micro/ All specials 9 p.m. to close. import taps, anything that pours. 4-9 p.m.

Taco buffet 11-2; $1 Pabst bottles and $1 bowling after 9

All you care to eat pizza buffet, 11-2

All you care to eat fish fry 4-10; un- Prime rib dinner 4-10; limited Glow-N-Bowl $9.99 unlimited Glow-N-Bowl $9.99

All you can eat wings, includes a Wisconsin cheese steak sandwich choice of potatoe, slaw and a frosted with a pint of beer, $8.99 pint, 4-9:30 p.m., $8.99

Ladies Night, $1 off all drinks, 4 to All you can eat boneless wings, inclose; Pint-Aritas $3 (lime or straw- cludes a choice of potatoe, slaw and berry) a frosted pint, 4-9:30 p.m., $8.99

107 3rd St. S. 782-1883 122 4th St. 782-0677

BROTHERS

Closed

306 Pearl St. 784-0522

FEATURES

W3923 State Highway 16 786-9000

FLIPSIDE PUB & GRILL 400 Lang Drive 784-2242

HOWIE’S

Fish Tacos: 1 / $2.50, 2 / $5.00, 3 / $6.50.

Happy hour 4 to 9 p.m.; 9 p.m. to 9 p.m. to close: $3.50 domestic 9 p.m. to close: $1 rails, $2.50 pitch- $5 all you can drink close: Night Before Class - $3 pitch- pitchers ers, beer pong ers of the beast

9 p.m. to close: $1.25 rails, $1.75 bottles/cans

IMPULSE

214 Main St. 782-6010

$5 AUC2D wristbands: domestic taps, rail mixers, Long Islands, 9 p.m. to close; live DJ, dancing 9 p.m. to close

Alcohol-free night, 7 p.m. to 2 a.m., $5 AUC2D wristbands: domestic for ages 25 and younger; live DJ, taps, rail mixers, Long Islands, 9 p.m. dancing, giveaways, AUC2D soda, to close; karaoke 9 p.m. to close $10 cover

$5 AUC2D wristbands: domestic taps, rail mixers, Long Islands, 9 p.m. to close; karaoke 9 p.m. to close

Free Wing Night (while supplies $5 wristband happy hour, 5 to 9 p.m; last); $5 AUC2D wristbands: domes- live DJ, dancing 9 p.m. to close tic taps, rail mixers, Long Islands, 9 p.m. to close; live DJ, dancing 9 p.m. to close

$5 wristband happy hour, 5 to 9 p.m; live DJ, dancing 9 p.m. to close

JB’S SPEAKEASY

$1.75 domestic bottles

SIN Night

Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.

$1.79 burger (after 8 p.m.) Breakfast 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.

Hat Night: Buy 1 drink, get 1 free w/ Rail drinks $2 (4:30 to close); Buckets of beer $10, Boston Bobby's Margaritas $4 (Straw, rasp, mango, hat (4:30 to close); $1.50 chili dogs After 8 p.m. specials: $5 skewer of drummies 10 for $2 (4:30 to close), peach and reg); After 8 p.m. specials: (after 8 p.m.) shrimp,l $1.79 burger, $1.50 chili dogs $1.79 burger (after 8 p.m.) $5 skewer of shrimp, $1.79 burger

Breakfast 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.; lunch buffet 11 a.m. to 2 p.m., $6.99

$2 can beer (2-6 p.m.) $11 buckets of beers (6-close)

2 for 1 pints/pitches w/ student ID over 21

1125 La Crosse St. 784-7400

$1.75 domestic bottles

9 p.m. to close: $2 Captain mixers, $2 bottles/cans, $3 Jager bombs

Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.

9 p.m. to close: $2 Bacardi mixers, $2 domestic pints, $1.50 shots blackberry brandy

717 Rose St. 796-1161

SCHMIDTY’S 3119 State Road 788-5110

SLOOPY'S ALMA MATER 163 Copeland Ave. 785-0245

THE LIBRARY

Sunday Fun Day - Wristband Night

Wings, Wings, Wings... $2 off 14: Ladies night, 2 for 1 drinks (6-close), Friday Fish, $2 can beer (2-6) pizza, $2 can beer (2-6 p.m.) $2 can beer (2-6 p.m.)

Half price tequilla, $1 domestic taps Karaoke, $2 Double rails and all Beer Pong Tourney and $3 Bacardi mixers, $3 Jumbo Long and rails bottles; $3 Double call drinks wristband night, $2 cherry bombs, Island Iced Teas 50¢ shots (3 flavors)

123 3rd St. 784-8020

TOP SHOTS

$2 can beer (2-6 p.m.) 12" pizza: $8.99 up to 5 toppings (4-close)

137 4th St. 782-6622

$5 Pitchers/$2 bottles of Miller $1.75 Miller/Bud Light Taps, $2.25 $1.75 Rails, $1.50 Domestic Taps, $2 domestic bottles, $2.50 Skyy/ products (11-4pm) MIcro/Craft Taps, $2.50 Cherry Bombs $3.50 Jager Bombs Absolut mixers, $2 Dr. shots $2 Corona Bottles, $2 Kilo Kai Mixers (7-1AM) (7-1AM) (7-1am) , $3 Bloodys (7-1AM)

5 Domestic Bottles for $10, $5 $2 Captain Mixers, $2. Long Island Micro/Import Bottles $11.50, $7 Mixers, $3 Effen Vodka Mixers (7Micro/Craft Pitchers (7-1AM) 1AM)

TRAIN STATION BBQ

Ask for great eats

11 a.m. to 3 p.m., Barn burner $7.95; 4 to 9 p.m., Hobo dinner (serves two) $30.95

WHO'S ON THIRD

Happy Hour until 10 p.m. $1.50 domestic taps, $2 rails from 10 to close

601 St. Andrew St. 781-0005 126 3rd St. N. 782-9467

$1 taps of PBR, $1 rails

11 a.m. to 3 p.m., extra side with sandwich; 4 to 9 p.m., $1 off rib dinner

Special varies

$3 call doubles, $2 Bud products

Ladies' Night: $2 top shelf, $1 Pink $8.50 Fish Bowls, $2 Miller products $1 off Three Olives, $2 domestic taps Tacos Everyone: $2.50 bombs, $2 taps, $3 Jack/Captain doubles

$3 Jumbo Long Island Iced Teas, $3 3 Olives mixers $5 Miller/Bud Light Pitchers, $2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1AM)

11 a.m. to 3 p.m., Chicken on fire One-half chicken three bones $7.95; 4 to 9 p.m., Bones and bris- $12.95 kets $13.95

14// September 16, 2010

Second Supper

DIVERSIONS

Maze Efflux

By Erich Boldt

"Everyone's gotta eat" They're just doing what they believe in By Matt Jones

614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601 Phone: (608) 782-7001 Online: secondsupper.com Publisher: Roger Bartel roger.bartel@secondsupper.com Editor in Chief: Adam Bissen adam.bissen@secondsupper.com Student Editor: Emily Faeth emily.faeth@secondsupper.com Sales: Mike Keith mike.keith@secondsupper.com Sales: Ansel Ericksen ansel.ericksen@secondsupper.com Sales: Michael Butteris michael.butteris@secondsupper.com Regular Contributors: Amy Alkon, Erich Boldt, Nick Cabreza, Mary Catanese, Brett Emerson, Jake Groteuschen, Shuggypop Jackson, Jonathan Majak, Matt Jones, Carolyn Ryan, Julie Schneider, Anna Soldner, Nate Willer Ralph Winrich Cover illustration by Carolyn Ryan Second Supper is a weekly alternative newspaper published by Bartanese Enterprises LLC, 614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601

Sudoku

Answers on Page 15

ACROSS 1 "If I ___ so myself..." 6 Peace symbol 10 Capital dating back to 1000 AD 14 Pet person's org. 15 Law professor Dershowitz 16 Nighttime bird call 17 Part 1 of a question 19 Cigar leftover 20 Delhi wrap 21 "In ___ of flowers..." 22 Knife brand used for crafts 23 Part 2 of the question 26 Famous naked horse rider 29 National Hamburger Month 30 Got up 31 Bangkok residents 34 Ruin 37 Wearing enough layers

38 Part 3 of the question 39 Like some essentials 40 Airline to Amsterdam 41 In a playful way 42 Passe 43 Go after a zit 44 Coffeehouse orders 45 Part 4 of the question 51 Group of cheerleaders 52 Extremely 53 Sound of being hit with a newspaper 57 Expresses disapproval, in a way 58 Answer to the question 60 Give an X to, perhaps 61 Ski slope site 62 "___ I may..." 63 Late host Ken of MTV's "Remote Control" 64 "Casablanca" character

Answers to September 9 puzzle Crossing over â&#x20AC;&#x201D; No theme. No problem.

65 Take in a stray DOWN 1 ___ Butler (voice of Yogi Bear) 2 Workplace-watching org. 3 Practice box 4 Trying to change society 5 Side-to-side movement 6 Spinoff of "Beavis and Butt-Head" 7 Bygone, like days 8 Liechtenstein's capital 9 Roxy Music ex-member Brian 10 "Chantilly Lace" exclamation 11 Sans ___ (without worry) 12 Lenya of "The Threepenny Opera" 13 Preminger and Klemperer 18 Gymnast Korbut 22 "Do not open 'til ___" 24 Mitochondrial ___ (descendant of all living humans) 25 Leave off 26 Hang around too long to stare 27 Of a certain Freudian fixation 28 Place to crash on campus

31 "Love ___ neighbor" 32 "2001" computer 33 "Press ___ key to continue" 34 Class with divisions 35 Neighborhood 36 1981 Warren Beatty epic 38 Imitate 39 The wrong way 41 Like some softball teams 42 "Back to the Future" inventor, familiarly 43 It may be set to "stun" 44 Poet Angelou 45 Houston player 46 Young pigeon 47 Mozart's "Cosi fan ___" 48 Miss Lavigne 49 Blue-green shades 50 Syllables sung while skipping 54 Ed McMahon catchphrase 55 Take ___ (rest) 56 "Hey, over here!" hiss 58 Letters near 4 on a keypad 59 ___ standstill For answers, call (900) 226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Or to bill to a credit card, call (800) 655-6549. Reference puzzle #0483.

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Second Supper

September 16, 2010 // 15

THE LAST WORD

The Advice Goddess By Amy Alkon amy.alkon@secondsupper.com Wuss it something I said? I’m 23, and not unsuccessful with women, just in finding one who wants to stick with me. I approach women two ways: hook up, then part company, or, if I have strong feelings, I work the gentleman angle — ask the woman out, spend quality time with her, and hold off on making moves until we get to know each other. This approach always fails, and I get friendzoned. I used to tell myself they were afraid of commitment, but more than once, I’ve watched these women get a boyfriend shortly afterward. — Not A Player When you like a woman, sure, be a gentleman, just not a Victorian gentleman — avoiding all sexual contact until marriage and always walking closest to the curb so nobody’s chamber pot of excrement splashes on her petticoat. Where you go wrong is in dividing the world into two kinds of women: the hussies

you make moves on and the nice girls you leave puzzled, angry and sexually frustrated. You probably fear rejection by girls you care about but excuse your mousy approach by calling yourself a gentleman instead of a wimp. Not making moves doesn’t make nice girls want you more; it makes them go from wanting you to wanting to throttle you — until they finally give up and maroon you in the pink zone of their address book (for girlfriends and guys who might as well be). You should instead divide women into “I could do her” and “Only with a gun to my head and a feedbag over hers.” You can’t know whether a woman’s a keeper on the first date, but at least try to kiss her to stake your claim for being more than friends. Even if she has some rule against first-date kissing, she’ll get the message that you are attracted to her, you aren’t gay, and your interest goes beyond finding out whether she gets along with her sisters and what she thinks should be done to bring peace to the Middle East. You don’t just go in cold for a kiss. Get some drinks in a girl, then casually touch her arm a few times. Researchers found that a light touch led people to leave bigger tips, made them more likely to sign a petition and to give a stranger on the street a dime. In studies in France by Dr. Nicolas Guéguen, men at a bar were more interested in women who touched their arm shortly after meeting them, and women touched by a man were more likely to dance with the man and, in another study, to give him their phone number. (Guéguen warns that his results might have varied in North America since the French are more “tactile” people — researcher shorthand for

“when two plumbers meet on the street in France they give each other sweet little pecks on each cheek.”) These light arm touches are actually a valuable investigative tool. If, upon being touched, your date doesn’t back up while extending a can of pepper spray, consider it a signal to treat her not just like a lady, but a lady you’re interested in, and go in for some lip. Maybe it’ll lead to love, maybe just a couple more dates. But, at least there’s the possibility of something beyond the friendzone — for guy who understands the difference between getting sparks flying and writing a woman a purchase order for some lighter fluid and a box of matches. Pair pressure What do you call somebody you’re in a longterm relationship with when you’re both middle-aged professionals who live together but aren’t married? My (fill in the blank) and I are somewhat stymied when introducing each other. “Boyfriend” sounds transient, “partner” is business-y, “significant other” sounds cold, and “lover” is way too much information. Help! — His Non-Wife

partner, although some options might be: “My Yoko Ono,” “my consort,” “my constant,” “my boy-toy,” “my everything,” or, during a rough patch, “my plus-one, Bob.” But, do you really need to explain your relationship immediately? Frankly, if more of the smug married people out there were as honest and concrete as you’re trying to be, they’d drop that convenient spousal shorthand of “Meet my husband” for something like “This is the man I refuse to have sex with. I’ve fantasized for years about strangling him in his sleep, but it’s a tough economy and I’m in retail.”

Sudoku

Have you tried “This is Bob, and we’re in a monogamous sexual relationship”? Or maybe “Meet the one thing keeping me from dying alone and having my decomposing body go undiscovered for weeks.” There’s status in being married, so there’s an understandable desire by those who are coupled but not under contract to have their relationships valued, too. Unfortunately, there really isn’t a good term for introducing an unmarried

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