Jokes Corner

Competition Corner

A Blessing

The old woman carried a huge bottle as she passed through customs at an Irish airport. “What have you there?” asked the customs man suspiciously. “Tis Lourdes water I’m bringing home with me.” He took the bottle, tried some and spluttered. “Let me tell you, that’s not Lourdes water. That’s first class French brandy.” “Lord bless us,” she said. “Tis a miracle.”

Poor Little Rich Boy

A boy asked his grandfather how he became so rich. Grandfather explained: “In the Great Depression I bought some apples every day, polished them and sold them for twice the price. By the end of the month I had earned 4 dollars.” “What happened then, Grandpa?” asked the boy. “What happened then?” echoed the old man. “Then your grandmother’s father died and left us two million bucks.”

Secret Smile

An art gallery in Japan has a portrait of a geisha girl with an enigmatic smile. She’s called Kimona Lisa.

Salty Text

I was on the sofa next to my wife who was eating and typing on her phone... so I heard my phone ringing in the kitchen where I was charging it. I went to check, the SMS was from my wife and she wrote, ‘Bring the salt on your way back.’A Priest, a nun, a rabbi, a lawyer and a doctor walked into a bar. The barman takes one look at them and says, “What’s this? A joke?”