RESOURCES FOR AGING WELL
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In 2004, my husband and I moved with our two boys to a new home in central Florida. Our neighbors to our left were an older couple, Ed, and Judy. Over the years, Judy and I had neighborly conversations chatting about varied topics including our families, our husbands, the weather, good deals at the supermarket, upcoming holidays, and how Saint Augustine grass is tough to maintain. All these conversations have taken place in front of our shiny black mailboxes between our two homes. The days varied, the times varied, and the length of our conversations have varied, but all our conversations consistently have taken place, week after week, month after month, year over year, by the mailbox. About two years ago our conversations began to change. I usually would see Ed outside of his house puttering around in his yard, trimming bushes, or picking up the loose palm fronds that had fallen from their two extraordinarily large palm trees. The next time that I saw Judy at the mailbox, I asked her, How’s Ed doing, I haven’t seen him
outside lately? Judy nodded with that sad facial expression that you recognize quickly when something unhappy is about to be told. Oh, not good Jennifer, he has Alzheimer’s, Judy said. I am so sorry to hear that, I replied. His brother had it too. He’s driving me crazy Jennifer. He tells me he loves me repeatedly. I can’t take it. He follows me around the house, room to room. I am so sorry Judy, that’s hard. Do you have a good support system with family and friends? I asked. Judy’s reply was that over the years their circle of family and friends had shrunken, and her kids lived far away with their own lives. Judy shared that her daughter lived in Key West, about eight hours away, and was undergoing her own personal grief with the sudden death of her husband. Fast forward to present time and I continue to have conversations by the mailbox with Judy. I get the sense now that Judy intentionally waits for me to venture outside of my front door to get my mail. She then comes out to get her own. Judy talks and I listen. Judy has shared stories of Ed’s progression with the disease. She has shared that he
COMMUNITY RESOURCES AND SERVICES
Conversations by the Mailbox
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