22 minute read
THE LIFE
Mush Love
Fungus could fun up your bedroom.
TEXT ROBYN GRIGGS LAWRENCE
In the South Pacifi c, legend tells of women writhing in sexual ecstasy after eating mushrooms they found growing wild in the forest. Normans fed grooms a dish made from a pound of mushrooms to prepare them for their wedding night, and Mataco Indians in Chiapas, Mexico, rubbed the red underside of bracket fungus on their faces to boost their sex appeal. In the Middle Ages, the Catholic Church banned highly sought-after cardoncello mushrooms for the unforgiveable sin of making parishioners horny.
When it comes to sexy time, shrooms have a history.
Flesh colored and globular, they come by their reputation naturally. But not all the 14,000 species of mushrooms have the power of sexual persuasion. Only a handful have stood as aphrodisiac champions down through the centuries. Here’s a rundown of the naughty mushrooms and a little bit about how to eat them, something to chew on when planning your next romantic interlude.
Truffl es
Ancient Greeks believed truffl es were created when lightning impregnated the earth with its seed, and they’ve been called the earth’s testicles. They have been legendary since ancient Rome, when Pliny off ered six ways to prepare the delicacies in his compendium of aphrodisiacs. Napoleon was said to be a fan.
“Truffl es. As soon as the word is spoken, it awakens lustful and erotic memories among the skirt-wearing sex and erotic and lustful memories among the beard-wearing sex,” European gastronome Jean-Anthelme Brillat-Savarin wrote in 1825. “This honorable parallelism comes not only from the fact that this esteemed tuber is delicious, but also because it is still believed to bring about potency, the exercise of which brings sweet pleasure.”
Also known as white diamonds, truffl es are one of the most coveted foods in the world, and their price tag—anywhere from $1,500 to $4,000 per pound—refl ects that. Like caviar and fi ne champagne, they seduce by being elusive and expensive. Fungi that live symbiotically with tree roots, truffl es can be found in only a few places on earth. They emit a chemical called androstenol, which is nearly identical to a male pig sex hormone and also found in men’s underarm sweat (there’s no accounting for what turns us humans on). While we swoon for the smell of truffl es after they’ve been harvested, human noses don’t have what it takes to fi nd them underground. Pigs and dogs can be trained to root them out for us, but that’s not cheap.
In Brillat-Savarin’s day, the upper classes showed off by stuffi ng hens with truffl es.
That’s not the best way to enjoy them. To get the most out of truffl es, serve them raw, grated, or sliced with a truffl e slicer (yes, there’s such a thing) over fresh pasta, sauces, soups, risotto, or scrambled eggs. You can also make truffl e butter—use
MAKE YOUR OWN TRUFFLE HONEY
INGREDIENTS
½ ounce fresh black or white tru es, cleaned 8 ounces raw organic honey
INSTRUCTIONS
• Using a microplane grater, grate tru e into honey. Stir until well integrated. • Replace lid and refrigerate for 48 hours. Keep in the refrigerator for up to two weeks.
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it to sauté mushrooms for a real treat—or truffl e honey, which is amazing when drizzled over gorgonzola crostini or baked brie. (You can also buy truffl e butter and truffl e honey in gourmet stores or online.)
Cordyceps
In India and China, Cordyceps sinensis has been used as an aphrodisiac for centuries. Also known as “Himalayan Viagra,” it’s a rare fungus that gets inside a ghost moth caterpillar burrowed in the soil for the winter then slowly consumes and digests it from within. In the spring, the bright yellow, wormlike fungus blossoms up and out of the ill-fated caterpillar’s head. Legend has it that Tibetan yak herders were the fi rst to notice their yaks had more energy and vitality when they ate cordyceps, and now it’s being touted as an alternative to pharmaceuticals for combating sexual dysfunction. Eating powdered cordyceps supports blood fl ow and oxygen supply, and clinical studies have found it supports healthy blood circulation in the penis and increases sperm count and quality.
Wild cordyceps will run you $20,000 per pound and up, but you can buy much cheaper cultured Cordyceps militaris, which are vegan-grown on brown rice or soy (no caterpillars have to die). Eat them raw, cooked in food, or made into tea. They can be sautéed or stewed with meat if you’re a carnivore. Cordyceps powder can be blended into coff ee or chai or added to stir-fries, soups, salads, or pasta.
Reishi
In Asia, reishi mushrooms have been known as the magic mushrooms of the bedroom for thousands of years. Reishi supports the kidney and urinary system, which is the seat of sexual power in traditional Chinese medicine. Great for the brain, emotional well-being, and the immune system, reishi can help the body become more resilient to stress—the number-one cock blocker—over time. If you’re considering this one to spice up your love life, be aware that reishi can also put you to sleep.
Reishi powder and dried reishi are readily available at health food stores and online. When buying reishi powder, look for organic brands that use hot-water extraction, which retains the most nutrients. With a smoky, almost chocolaty fl avor, reishi is great in smoothies, teas, and as a coff ee alternative.
Shiitake
Fleshy and juicy, shiitake mushrooms check all the aphrodisiac boxes. They’re full of zinc, which gets the blood fl owing and boosts testosterone; and lentinan, which is believed to enhance erectile
MAKE YOUR OWN TRUFFLE BUTTER
INGREDIENTS
1 pound quality unsalted butter, room temperature 1–3 teaspoons white tru e oil Sea salt, to taste
INSTRUCTIONS
• Place butter in mixing bowl and add tru e oil 1 teaspoon at a time, tasting each time. Stir to combine. Add salt to taste. • Form into a 1-inch-thick log and wrap tightly with plastic. Keep in the refrigerator for up to two weeks.
PHOTO BY KATOBONSAI, ADOBE STOCK Congregating Cordyceps The “caterpillar fungus” is said to be the world’s most valuable parasite.
PHOTOS (FROM LEFT) BY ALEXKICH, ADOBE STOCK; JAROSLAV MACHACEK, ADOBE STOCK function. In a study of voles fed shiitake extract for three weeks, males with withering libido saw their sexual motivation restored with 1.5 times more ejaculations. Donko shiitake, which have white designs on their tops, are believed to pack the most punch.
You can fi nd shiitakes at your local grocer. Slice the meaty cap and sauté it in olive oil or duck fat. Shiitake pair well with onions, garlic, and ginger. They’re great in stirfries and soups (miso in particular).
Psilocybin
If you believe ethnobotanist Terence McKenna’s Stoned Ape theory of human evolution, the psilocybin mushroom’s aphrodisiac qualities were key to humans’ survival as a species. McKenna wrote that primitive humans’ experimentation with high doses of magic mushrooms increased male potency and opened up worlds of possibilities, like inventing languages and having group sex. “Everyone would get loaded around the campfi re and hump in an enormous writhing heap,” McKenna is quoted as saying. These magic mushroom–fueled orgies led to genetic diversifi cation, making humans more disease-resistant. And with no way to trace who was whose daddy, communities formed to raise children—another leap for humankind.
That’s something to think about, though it’s admittedly a little academic. Bottom line is that many people, including famous ethnobotanists, consider psilocybin an aphrodisiac even though it doesn’t in and of itself increase libido. It does open your mind and cause your brain to pump out the feel-good neurotransmitter serotonin. Your skin gets more sensitive, and touch feels more pleasurable. With the right person or persons, magic mushrooms can spark intense, intimate conversation, mind-blowing orgasms, and cosmic-level cuddling.
Psilocybin mushrooms should be heated to at least 140 degrees Fahrenheit and preferably above 200 degrees Fahrenheit to release their nutrients, get rid of harmful pathogens and toxins, and soften the tissues to make them more digestible. You can eat them fresh, dried, and ground, or made into tea. Pairing them with mint and lemon can help ward off any early nausea they might induce.
Legality varies, so fi nd out what you need to know based on where you live if you’re considering a psilocybin trip.
Good Shiitake These powerful mushrooms have antiviral, antibacterial, and antifungal properties.
MAKE YOUR OWN VEGAN REISHI GOLDEN MILK
Serves 2
INGREDIENTS
3 cups plant milk (almond, coconut, oat, cashew) 5 teaspoons maple syrup 1 teaspoon reishi powder 3 teaspoons ground turmeric ¼ teaspoon ground ginger 2 cinnamon sticks 1/8 teaspoon ground cardamom Ground pepper, to taste
INSTRUCTIONS
• Whisk ingredients together in a saucepan over low heat until well combined. Pour into mugs and serve.
Stone Slade was born for this. Literally. The reality TV star’s fi rst breath, at a hospital in Guadalajara in 1971, was laced with cannabis smoke from a hit his father shotgunned in his newborn face—a rite of passage that seemed completely normal among the big, crazy family of rock stars, drug smugglers, and assorted other characters Slade grew up with.
Slade’s dad, whom he describes on Instagram as an “OG Legacy market player,” toured with the Grateful Dead and was a member of the Pleasure Crew (your guess is as good as Slade’s as to what that means—but we’re talking the Dead here, so make it your best guess). Slade spent his fi rst 10 years hanging out on tour buses and running around arenas before his family settled in Austin and started hanging out on Willie Nelson’s ranch.
Slade describes his childhood as “something between Almost Famous and a light episode of Narcos.” Everyone smoked weed—they called it “whistle” so an unwitting kid wouldn’t accidentally out them to a teacher or another parent— and Slade was often a designated joint passer. As a teenager, he dipped into his dad’s stash.
“Cannabis is as American as apple pie,” Slade says. “Those weren’t criminals who were smoking around me; those were my parents, dear friends, people I saw every day.”
Then, when he was a junior in high school, his dad didn’t come home one night. Slade’s father had gone to help a friend buy a pound of weed and got caught in a DEA sting. “Of all the way more crazy things he was involved with, this is what got him,” Slade says. “He was gone for fi ve years—the end of my high school years.”
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A CANNABIS ROAD TRIP Slade’s lifelong love for cannabis and extremely personal reasons for pushing legalization are the impetus for Hittin’ the High Road with Stone Slade & Sensi Magazine (stream the show here: hittinthehighroad.com), a show he is hosting and co-producing with Justin Netti. Best known for his role on A&E’s Modern Dads series, Slade is bringing his content creation skills and on-screen cred to a show designed to demystify and destigmatize cannabis and the cannabis industry.
The show concept came to Slade as he and his wife were waiting in line at a Los Angeles dispensary on 4/20. He was thinking about the current state of cannabis TV. “I like what’s out there, but I feel like I like it because I’m a stoner,” Slade says. “We all know there’s a much larger contingent of people who just might not stay tuned for the goofi ness in most of the stoner shows out there.”
Hittin’ the High Road follows Slade on a cannabis road trip across America, meeting with the people behind the industry, from dispensary owners to medical patients to farmers, for lighthearted yet serious No Reservations-esque segments. The show is meant to appeal to a broader spectrum of viewers, from connoisseurs to the canna-curious.
“So many people are about to enter this journey,” Slade says, referring to the fl ood of new cannabis patients and consumers stepping into the market as more and more states legalize. Hittin’ the High Road will make it easier for fi rst timers and consumers who have been away from cannabis for a long time. “The fi rst time
I walked into a dispensary, I felt so weird,” Slade says, “like I was doing something wrong.”
With such a great concept, his extensive network of industry contacts, and what seemed like perfect timing, Slade fi gured he’d have the show on the air in no time. He couldn’t believe it when the mainstream networks shut him down again and again, even after he showed them how his concept was diff erent, better, educational. No one picked up on his vision.
“It’s still taboo, really,” he says. “Until cannabis loses that Schedule I designation, we’re not going to see a big fl ood of normalcy in television.”
CANNABIS FOR LIFE In 2013, just as Slade was dadding it up with his daughter Danica on Modern Dads, his own father was diagnosed with liver cancer. The only thing that could ease his father’s pain, aside from hard-core, stupor-inducing pharmaceuticals, were Bhang chocolate bars smuggled in from Colorado.
Slade’s father passed on November 1, Day of the Dead. If that weren’t symbolic enough, he died at an oddly apropos time. “We were mourning him,” Slade says, “but when the guy read out the time of death at 4:20 p.m., we couldn’t help but just laugh.”
Under his father’s infl uence, Slade adds, he has embraced cannabis for his entire life.
“I spent the majority of my life as a casual user,” he says, “then the legal end came in when I lost Dad for those fi ve years and the medical side when we lost him for good in 2013.”
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Larry McMurtry doesn’t just speak for himself when he admits in his book Roads: Driving America’s Great Highways that one of the best things about the US interstate system is that you can travel with almost no interaction or communication with human beings. All you need is a credit card, and you’re on your way.
No off ense to McMurtry, one of my favorite authors, but when Ms.
Billie and I travel, we prefer people over cash machines and avoid the interstate system whenever possible. It’s a good way to get from one place to another quickly, but if that’s not what you’re seeking… Well, Wendy’s is the same, no matter where you order.
When its time for a road trip, one of our favorite off -the-interstate location is Dinosaur National Monument, which straddles the border of Utah in the northwest corner of Colorado. It is one of the most remote and spectacular destinations in the monument system. (Monuments are a step below national parks and generally include fewer amenities, less information, and little signage.)
Dinosaur National Monument was created in 1915, not long after a paleontologist with the Carnegie Museum discovered prehistoric fossils in a rock formation north of Jensen, Utah, in 1909. That rock formation soon became a quarry, and the surrounding 80 acres were given the monument designation to preserve the outstanding fossil resources. Today, Dinosaur National Monument encompasses over 200,000 acres, most of which are in Colorado. It has few roads, easy access to petroglyphs and pictographs, and mind-boggling scenery as well as being a major repository of dinosaur fossils.
You can’t just drive in, spend
a couple of hours, and say you’ve been there. You need at least two days, which means you really have to want to go, but it’s so worth it. The more time you spend, the more remote you can get.
We start our visit at the quarry Visitor’s Center just a few miles north of Jensen. The road hugs the Green River, which meanders through the monument before
heading south for its rendezvous with the Colorado River in Canyonlands National Park near Moab. A giant, black and white wooden Stegosaurus greets visitors, and there are lots of exhibits and fossils with historical information about the area.
Near the visitor’s center is the quarry wall itself. The huge ledge, one of hundreds found so far in the area, contains fossilized remains of dozens of diff erent creatures pretty much as archeologists found them. The building was literally constructed around it (and recently remodeled), so visitors can see the kinds of historical artifacts and individual fossils the scientists unearthed. The ledge is fi fty feet high and three times that length, with closeup viewing on two levels. You won’t fi nd something like it anywhere else.
After a couple of hours at the wall, we head north for Split Mountain. Long story short, it’s the place where, over millions of years, the Green River changed its original course and took some of the topography with it. Even if you don’t understand the geology, it’s easy to see what looks like
an oversized, sandstone ship that just slid into the river, exposing millions of years of geologic history in the process. Best time for photography is at sunset, with the dimming light glowing on these primeval rocks.
Further on, we stop and walk on short trails to petroglyph and pictographs made by the Fremont, Ute, and Shoshone tribes who once lived here, leaving their art for the rest of us to ponder. Nearby, wooden farm fences still stand in almost perpetual quiet at the Josie Morris cabin, where a pioneer woman lived for more than 50 years without any modern conveniences.
The second day, we drive the Harpers Corner Road out of the visitor’s center at Dinosaur, Colorado. (Stop by the Bedrock Café on Highway 40, aka Brontosaurus Boulevard, for the best homemade, locally sourced malts and shakes in the area.)
And though there are some remarkable overlooks on the way out, nothing can really prepare you for the epic drive into the depths of Echo Canyon. Standing at the overlook at the top, we think twice before heading down the dizzying
series of switchbacks that begin the 12-mile journey to the enormous Steamboat Rock at the bottom. About two thirds of the way down, we pass Rial Chew Ranch Historic District, the well-preserved remains of a working ranch from the early 20th century.
At the base of the canyon, where the Green and Yampa Rivers converge, we fi nd ourselves in magnifi cent isolation a couple thousand feet below ground level. We’re surrounded by towering cliff s reaching toward the sky. Across the river, Steamboat Rock rises like a massive sentry.
There are 22 camping spots down here—easily some of the best night-viewing spots in the US. There’s absolutely no light pollution to disturb your view of DINOSAUR RIDGE
Perfect for families, this National Natural Landmark is a huge shelf that features more than 300 footprints encased in sandstone. You will also nd life-sized dinosaur models, guided shuttle-bus tours of the ridge, self-guided walking tours, and various other geologic activities. It’s open seven days a week, and it’s free. Complete information and hours at dinoridge.org.
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the hundreds of satellites skimming past the eerie brightness of the Milky Way. Make your reservations far in advance and check with the rangers before heading down into Echo Park, especially when roads are wet.
The drive back up is just as spectacular as the one down. On the way out, we stop by the overlook again. From this vantage point, it looks like Echo Park is in miniature: Steamboat Rock is little more than a pebble, the river just a sliver of brown against the hardscrabble landscape. Looking down, I am reminded of the time when, in the 1950s, as part of a Colorado River Storage Project, a dam proposed here unleashed a torrent of opposition led by the Sierra Club and Wilderness Society that ultimately helped kickstart the environmental movement that led to the Wilderness Act and the National Scenic Rivers Act.
There are some lodging options just outside the Colorado and Utah centers of the monument, but most who visit stay in Vernal, Utah, 15 miles west of the park. It’s an oil town of 10,000 people with all amenities, and it revels in its dinosaur proximity. At the eastern entrance, a 30-foot pink dino right out of The Flintstones coyly fl icks her eyelids at visitors.
The major attraction is the Field House of Natural History downtown. A fossil-lover’s dreamscape, it includes a complete diplodocus skeleton stalking the mezzanine, as well as rooms of exhibits and dioramas that trace the area’s history and creatures. The dinosaur garden outside is stocked with colorful, life-sized reproductions of various plant- and meat-eating dinos.
One exception is a wooly mammoth, the large, extinct elephant ancestor. This particular replica’s guard coat is, inexplicably, made from hemp. The local avian population admires the hair as much as visitors do, plucking chunks of it for their own nests—yet another unlikely use for hemp. The hair has to be replaced every decade or so, a procedure that maintenance specialist Craig Gerber estimates at several hundred man-hours each time. Or, as he puts it, “A nightmare from hell.”
This Old House: Fossil Cabin
If you don’t have the time or inclination to get far o -grid, you could try a trip to Wyoming to see “the oldest building in the world.” Fossil Cabin was constructed in 1933 by Thomas Boylan, who made it of bone fragments from the nearby site, hence the designation.
It’s not a tourist attraction anymore, and you can’t get inside (in fact, the property is for sale). But there’s still a lot of dinosaur history in this area. The Como Blu s ridge visible to the north is the site of major dino discoveries and international intrigue that dates back to the 19th century. The ridge is also home to thousands of diamondback rattlesnakes that like to nestle amid the bones and keep the foot tra c to a minimum. Some of the nest dinosaur specimens came from this graveyard. They were transported around the world on the rst transcontinental railroad, which rumbled by here on the way from Laramie to Rawlins, and on the rst transcontinental highway, which passed Como Blu s.
