XYZ Magazine Winter 2012-2013 by seveneightfive magazine

[ everything for Topeka families ]

the housework blues how young is too young to enlist the kids? p 24

bullying from the trenches real-life tales of bully trauma & how to empower your kids. p 34

Winter 2012-13

stormont-vail & cotton-o’neil

three levels of care Stormont-Vail HealthCare provides a variety of levels of care. If a medical need occurs when your primary care physician is not available, you have three options: Mild

The ClinicModerate at Walmart by Stormont-Vail Severe 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. weekdays, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturdays, 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sundays Located inside the north Topeka Walmart and providing minor health services without an appointment for patients ages 18 months and older. Staffed by advanced practice nurses and a physician assistant.

Mild

Moderate

Cotton-O’Neil ExpressCare Severe With three locations in Topeka and one in Osage City, these urgent care clinics, complete with lab and X-ray services, are available to patients of all ages who need treatment for a minor illness or injury. You do not have to be a Cotton-O’Neil patient to be cared for at ExpressCare. ExpressCare – Croco: 2909 S.E. Walnut Dr. 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. weekdays, 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. weekends ExpressCare – Urish: 6725 S.W. 29th St. 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. weekdays, 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. weekends ExpressCare – North: 1130 N. Kansas Ave. 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. weekdays ExpressCare – Osage City: 131 W. Market 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. weekends

Mild

Moderate

Severe

Stormont-Vail Emergency and Trauma Center Open 24 hours a day, every day, and designed for sudden, serious injury or illness. Located one block west of Eighth and Washburn.

Call Health Connections’ Ask-A-Nurse at (785) 354-5225 evenings and weekends for help finding the most appropriate level of care.

stormontvail.org

XYZ Magazine | Vol. III • Issue III | Winter 2012-13

[ what’s inside ]

41-47 imagination section • the Keen Eye is ready to deck the halls • Winter Reads has suggested some killer reads, of the mustache killing variety • Heard + Noted is full of inquisition and hilarity.

10 the housework blues Local parents convene and discuss the daily daunting chores and what really matters when it comes to baskets and baskets of laundry.

9 retrofun Scratch ‘n sniff still going strong.

14 leftover makeover Leftover turkey and ham need not be your freezer’s foe any longer. Holiday leftovers can be turned into fun and creative meals the whole family can enjoy.

21 scoring the cool points Learning to jam to Phineas & Ferb.

22 what to wear

+ recipes, food reviews & more

IN EVERY ISSUE 4 letter from editor 6 family calendar

Forget a new handbag – your own baby is the newest (and most convenient) accessory.

8 - F.A.B. - Find A Babysitter

16 blessing bags

24 the dual language advantage

32 day trip

A local kindergartner is bringing blessing to the homeless – one bag at a time.

One Topeka school is making some large transitions and bringing bilingual benefits.

18 public on ice The ice outside does not mean that the whole family can’t still have fun inside. An ice rink adventure is begging to be had.

28 cool kid’s bday

39 recipe 44 d.i.y. Kansas ornaments 46 I was a tweenage food critic 41 - 47 imagination section

[ letter from the editor ]

[ everything for Topeka families ]

a season for gratitude b y J a n i c e Wa t k i n s

inter is such a serene season, which is why it happens to be my favorite. Forget the salt trucks working overtime that I always manage to get stuck behind. Forget the possibility of awful ice storms and downed power lines. Forget the occasional child-loving, but adult-hating snow day. Winter is the season that allows the slate to be metaphorically wiped clean. This is the season that is full of giving, resolution, and celebrating the dawn of new life after the cold silence of the snow. Winter is a time to reflect upon the year and what is yet to come. I am reminded of this now more than ever as I read through the pages of this XYZ. I am reminded how truly grateful I am for my home and my two healthy kids. It has been a difficult year for my family, but I am truly blessed. I have never been faced with the challenge of being homeless or without heat like the receivers of Zoey Long’s blessing bags. I am not a child in foster care waiting for a voice so I can be heard through a Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA). I grew up never having to master a different language to be afforded the same opportunities, as the diligent students at Scott Computer Technology Magnet have so endured. I have never, unlike Jill Eberhart, felt the piercing taunts or flailing fists of a bully. I am indeed grateful.

Kerrice Mapes Publisher Leah Sewell Art Director Janice Watkins Editor-in-Chief Writers Annie Brock Rio Cervantes-Reed Tony Davis Lacey Gerhardt Cale Herreman Nicole Huckins Josh Luttrell Bailey Marable

I recognize that my most meaningful task in life, however, is to teach my children these things – to know the sadness that I have worked daily to tuck into a hidden corner of their world. I am fully aware of this great opportunity I have as a parent: one in which I teach them each of the hidden sadness, yet teach them to challenge the adversity, and find ways to use their voices for those whom may have been muted. I will seize the chance to teach my beautiful Gabriel and Eden the strength and beauty that is present in the pages of this issue. We will embark on this winter season with empathy in our eyes, compassion on our lips and fervent adventures in our hearts. Happy winter wishes from my family to yours. — Janice

cover

by Sarah Long Joyful Photography

Photographer Sarah Long ordered up a beauty of a hot chocolate from the Classic Bean at Fairlawn Plaza and added a little peppermint love before snapping this issue’s cover photo. Sarah adds a little love to every one of her photographs. Check out more of her work at joyfulphoto.com

Kerrice Mapes Erin Snethen Regina Stephenson Janice Watkins Photographers EJ Drake Sarah Long Megan Rogers Zach Snethen Julie Velez Art + Production Leah Sewell Advertising xyztopeka@gmail.com 785.249.3126 Kerrice Mapes Rio Cervantes-Reed calendar Heather McKee Marketing / Website Social Media / Distribution Rio Cervantes-Reed Kerrice Mapes Heather McKee Janice Watkins Administration Elizabeth Bell Reprints + Permission No part of XYZ may be reproduced in any form without prior consent from seveneightfive designs. For permission requests, call 785.249.3126 or email kerrice@seveneightfive.com XYZ MAGAZINE xyztopeka@gmail.com P.O. Box 750491 Topeka, KS 66675

[ our gang ] our staff would love to hear from you! have something to say? email xyztopeka@gmail.com

YOUR CHILD CAN

Learn a new

Language

1 5

8 11

Children love MUZZY,

an online way to learn languages through a fun storytelling experience. 12

 Choose from 8 languages  Free with your library card  For early and pre-readers

Start learning your new language at

[click Research, then Databases, select MUZZY for children or Mango for readers]

sticker album by Nicole Huckins photo contributed by Nicole Huckins

“O

h my gosh! I had one exactly like this!”

Several friends have made this same exclamation upon viewing my circa 1985 sticker book, found amongst a pile of books in my cluttered living room. Suddenly nostalgic, we discuss other feel-good memories of childhood and a bond is truly cemented knowing that we’ve shared these great moments of innocence. There was no shortage of variety in sticker types back then: Puffies, hallograms, glow-in-the-dark, Rainbow Brite, or any other fashionable character, but the absolute best had to be the scratch’n’sniff stickers, as they seemed to be wonderfully advanced technologically (at least at the time). For some reason I only have one scratch’n’sniff remaining - a pitcher of orange juice. Amazingly, it’s still strong after nearly 30 years, although almost completely scratched through. Since I discovered the sticker album in a box labeled “Keepsakes,” I continuously find it in my daughters’ hands. At five and three, they are at the perfect ages to understand the necessity and supreme coolness of sticker books. I mean, how else can one display such a collection? Note: at least for my three-year old, stickers can be hazardous; they often end up on the wall, in her hair, on my beautiful old piano, and the really tiny ones are great for the carpet and perfect for baby brother to pick up and eat. Stickers are BUS’d for her – “Banned Unless Supervised.” As times and technology have changed so dramatically since the era of sticker books, sometimes I wonder, how will it be for my children? Yet it would seem that we still have sticker book collections – just in different forms. Pinterest has developed into the ultimate adult sticker collection, with the only necessity being time and energy to “pin” to your board. The crafty ideas, beautiful pictures of places we plan to visit and recipes that we really do plan to try someday, have become the new way to brag about our virtual sticker collection. My infinitely treasured sticker book gives me the opportunity to cozy up with my daughters and share little pieces of my childhood with them. Whenever I hear, “Mommy, will you look at your sticker book with me?” I must stop whatever housework I’m desperately trying to accomplish and succumb to their requests. This is truly the beauty of the sticker book – crafting new memories to share – for me and for my girls. XYZ TOPEKA

XYZ xyztopeka.com

the housework blues Local moms and dads commiserate about the daily drudgery of chores and whether or not to enlist the help of the kids.

by Annie Brock • photos by Megan Rogers | Megan Rogers Photographie

by Cale Herreman • photos by Megan Rogers | Megan Rogers Photographie

It’s

waiting for you. Nagging at you, XYZ recently convened a panel of housework practitioners

even while you’re reading this. Somewhere in your house, or maybe everywhere in your house, there is something that needs your attention. Dust layering the mantle. Dishes in the sink. A pile of dirty laundry. A pile of clean, unfolded laundry. A pile of folded laundry that needs to be put away.

Cleaning isn’t always mindless, busy work. This often daily task creates problems to be solved and leaves philosophical questions looming. Is this sweater tumble-dry or should it be hung up? Is half an onion enough for this recipe? Would anyone even notice this mess? Can the children do this themselves? What are the children even doing in the other room while this dishwasher is being unloaded? 10

xyztopeka.com XYZ

to draw on their expertise. When asked to name a favorite chore, there was a moment of awkward silence. Then Matt Bisnett offered, “Laundry. But it has to be fresh laundry. Especially now that it’s getting cool.” This made a laundry-weary Chris Kirk chime in. “Maybe vacuuming,” she said. “Because I have dogs, I see a difference immediately.” Of course, whatever is done, there will be more later. The dogs will keep shedding. The laundry will keep getting dirty. People insist on eating and sullying dishes, but the ability to call something “finished” for the moment is as satisfying as it gets. Then you get the privilege of not paying attention to it for a few hours or days.

Over the course of time, though, the endless work changes us – makes us question our ranking on the invisible, homemaker hierarchy. Asked about the fearsome prospect of the unannounced guest, Keri Garcia said, “I did have a friend stop by the other day, and I was like, ‘I’m glad I didn’t know you were coming over because I would have been rushing around and going crazy trying to get this place picked up,’ and she was like, ‘Oh, I’m just glad to see your house in a different state. I always see it picked up. It just makes me feel better.’ It was nice and another way that I recognize that we’re too hard on ourselves.” “I think other people would rather see your house messy than cleaned up,” said Chris. Matt agreed. “It reassures them that they’re not the only ones!” Whatever our standards or level of exhaustion, though, the inherent dilemma between cleaning the house and spending time as a family must be recognized. “My mom never let anyone come over unless the house was sterilized,” Lacey Bisnett said, “which meant a lot of times, people didn’t come over. You don’t get to live…you’re worried about cleaning all the time.”

Being chill about cleaning does sound pretty good, but it has to happen sometime. When it does, will the children be involved, or does that make it too complicated? Chris admits that, for laundry at least, she just doesn’t want trouble. “I do all that before they get up. I’m one of those who doesn’t want to make it more work for myself, which I know it’s probably bad, but I don’t want them to get in there, and make it worse.” Parenting expert Dr. Laura Markham (ahaparenting.com) has insight into this dilemma. In an article about children and housework, she notes, “It’s easier to do it ourselves, so when children are young enough to be interested in helping with housework, we shoo them away. By the time they could be helpful, it takes so much time to teach them that it’s still easier to do it ourselves.” While it may be easier, there is a benefit to diverting some of the responsibility to the kids. “Research shows that kids who have household responsibilities are more likely to step up and help others outside the home. Responsibility at home really does make kids better citizens,” Dr. Markham concludes. Better citizens. That makes it sound like there is a lot at stake here. But, really, there is. Certainly, as adults, we know how housework can be tied to our stress levels, guilt levels, and self-image, not to mention the practical concern of having a clean, unwrinkled shirt in the morning to wear to work. Getting kids working around the house is an endless series of chances for them to practice skills they’ll need. And the housework is endless, but maybe not so bad if we can step back and see that no one is really going to be bothered by the state of our homes – except maybe our in-laws. If we don’t put too much importance on housework, maybe the perpetual cycle of clean, dirty, clean, dirty won’t make us crazy. Maybe we can all be better citizens for it. Maybe right after we vacuum. XYZ TOPEKA XYZ xyztopeka.com

natural décor

Environmental

Parenting

Festive homemade decorations that double as treats for wildlife by Cale Herreman photos by Megan Rogers Megan Rogers Photographie

ow will you be decking the halls this year? trees in your neighborhood) and wrap a string around some

Festive decorations brought out of storage to your family’s delight? Wonderful. A little bird told me, though, that the critters who live in your backyard might also appreciate something.

of the cone’s bristles. Next, spread peanut butter around and into the pinecone, then roll the whole thing in bird seed. Finally, use the string to tie it to a tree branch or some other high place.

Outdoor decorations that are also wildlife feeders can be pretty easy to make and environmentally-friendly. Parents and kids can sit down together and in not much time make something birds and squirrels will love.

Another idea is creating an edible garland for outdoor decoration. Tie a knot on one end of a piece of twine or string and thread the other end through a large sewing needle. Thread cranberries and popcorn onto the string, and then tie a knot on the other end when you are done. This might not work as well with young children, but they would be good at handing the food to whomever holds the needle.

Peanut butter pinecones are a simple project for any age. Gather some pinecones (try Gage Park if you don’t have pine

The popcorn should be stale, as well as plain and unsalted, which keeps the pieces from crumbling and is safer for the wildlife. You can string the garland around an outside tree, around fences or porch rails. While the local wildlife may be mostly unaffected by the holiday spirit, if you leave these eco-friendly snacks, the animal will appreciate your offering in their own way. Additionally, your children can enjoy watching the “snackers” come and go. While we are talking about tree dwellers, let’s take a moment to think about Christmas trees. If your family chooses a real-cut tree this year, please recycle. The City of Topeka will have drop-off sites where you can bring your tree when the holidays are over and the decorations have been removed. The city turns the trees into mulch, which can then be used in our local parks, in flower beds, around trees, and on playgrounds. XYZ TOPEKA

leftover makeover by Chelle Decker • photos by Sarah Long | Joy ful Photography

have a small family and there is always a multitude of leftover turkey after our Thanksgiving and Christmas meals. Sure, there are oodles of magazines and blogs with helpful tips on using leftover meat, but how about leftovers that won’t make kids say “what the heck is tetrazzini?” Here are a couple of easy options to make the kids not say “casserole again?”

Both of these simple traditional recipes have fun tasks that little fingers can help make, from placing peas in pie shells to crushing potato chips. Remember, cooking with your child helps teach math skills, helps develop a well-rounded palate, and is fun family time.

turkey pot pie

• 2 C Chopped Turkey • 1 C Turkey Gravy • 1 ½ C Frozen Peas & Carrots • 1 Large Potato • Pie crust (I cheat and use 2 packages of refrigerated Pillsbury pie dough) • 4 Individual Sized Aluminum Baking Pans Preheat oven to 425 degrees, or directions on the pie dough package. Poke holes with fork in the potato. Cook on plate in microwave for 2 minutes or until potato just begins to soften. Remove potato from microwave and carefully remove skin and cut into cubes. Place bottom layer of pie crust in ungreased individual sized aluminum pie pans. Press lightly into pan and up the sides with a small excess around the edge. Fill pie crust with turkey, vegetables, and gravy. Place top of pie crust on pie and pinch sides. Remaining pie crust can be cut with cookie cutters to make fun shapes on the top of the pie crust. Be sure the gravy and other pie stuffing does not touch the top crust, or it will not brown correctly. 14

xyztopeka.com XYZ

Cut a 2 inch slit across the top of the crust. Bake in the oven for 12 minutes or until golden brown. If the edges of the pie begin to brown too fast, cover the outside edge with aluminum foil and continue baking. Caution: Pot pies will be extremely hot. Yield: Four pot pies.

Other options for ingredients: Pizza pot pies – Marinara, mozzarella, mushrooms, turkey pepperoni, red onions and green peppers. Beef pot pies – Cooked stew meat, brown gravy, peas, potatoes, and pearl onions and carrots.

mac & cheese

w/ ham

2 C Chopped Ham 2 C Velveeta 1 C Shredded Sharp Cheddar Cheese ½ Package Elbow Macaroni (or shells if preferred) ¾ C Milk Salt and Pepper to taste 10-12 Ruffles Cheddar and Sour Cream Potato Chips Boil pasta in water with a pinch of salt according to package directions. Drain. Return the pasta to the pan and cook on low heat. Add milk, chopped Velveeta, ham, and cheddar cheese. If the consistency is too thick, add additional milk. Cook on low until all cheese has melted. Pour into a casserole baking pan. Crush potato chips and sprinkle over top of macaroni and cheese. Brown under broiler. Caution: Chips can brown very quickly. Do not leave oven unattended when browning the top. Yield: 4 Servings Other options for ingredients: Bacon & Asiago cheese, Pepperoni & Mozzarella, Broccoli & Pepper Jack cheese, Tuna & Peas XYZ TOPEKA XYZ xyztopeka.com

blessing bags How five-year-old Zoey Long went grassroots to help the homeless in her hometown by Annie Brock • photos by Sarah Long Joy ful Photography

It is a moment many of us know well. You pull up to an intersection and notice a person, often unkempt and surrounded by tattered luggage, sitting in the right-of-way holding a makeshift cardboard sign asking for money. It is a crisis of conscience for some – a moment often avoided by turning the radio up a little louder, staring straight ahead, and willing the light to turn green. Whether or not to give money directly to the homeless or indigent can be a troublesome dilemma. Statistics show that a disproportionate amount of homeless people are battling drug and alcohol addictions, and many would-be-do-gooders fear offering cash may ultimately enable a bad habit instead of being used for the giver’s intended purpose, such as a hot meal or a bus ticket. “We’ve discovered that in the majority of cases where someone is holding a sign, giving them cash does not help the situation,” said Barry Feaker, Director of the Topeka Rescue Mission. “Our compassion speaks to us, but sometimes it doesn’t tell us the wisest thing to do.” Although, Feaker is quick to point out, there are caveats to those findings. The recent economic downturn, for example, has correlated to an increase in the number of Topekans who are hungry or homeless, or those who will be very soon. Many of these imminently homeless and hungry are battling poor job and housing markets rather than an addiction. These changing circumstances can compound the difficulty in using common sense approaches to giving. Five-year old Topekan, Zoey Long, began wondering what she could do to help the disadvantaged in her community after seeing a homeless man walking along the edge of a road. Zoey and her mom, XYZ staff member, Sarah Long, brainstormed ways they could help local homeless people without encountering the pitfalls associated with offering cash. Instead, they give what they call “blessing bags.” The Ziploc blessing bags, kept in the Long family vehicle waiting for the chance to be distributed, are filled with essentials like soap, bottled water, snack crackers, first aid kits and lip balm. When the Long family sees a person who they believe could benefit from one of their bags, they simply hand it over. The Longs estimate they have delivered about thirty bags so far and have had nothing but positive responses from the bag beneficiaries. “They say ‘thank you’ and ‘God bless you’ and they smile,” said Zoey of those who receive her bags. 16

xyztopeka.com XYZ

Zoey says that helping those in need makes her feel “very, very happy and special.”

“This blesses us just as much, if not more, than it does the people we hand out bags to,” said Sarah. “We try to always be aware of the world around us, keeping our eyes open for someone that could possibly benefit from one of the bags.” Sadly, there is no shortage within the Topeka community of individuals that could benefit from a helping hand. Estimates of the homeless population indicate that at any given time, up to 325 people are seeking shelter at the Topeka Rescue Mission, an additional 60 to 80 people are living in cars, abandoned buildings, or sleeping outdoors, and a significant, but indeterminate, number of individuals are “temporary visitors” – those who are technically homeless, but currently staying with family or friends. Zoey says that helping those in need makes her feel “very, very happy and special.” Her parents whole-heartedly encourage her efforts to help the homeless, but are extremely mindful of safety precautions when approaching strangers to hand out bags, emphasizing to their children it is a giving opportunity that should only be practiced with the help of mom or dad. Feaker says that the Longs have it right when it comes to giving. He stresses that the best way to help the homeless is not mindlessly handing money out of a car window, but rather spending time thinking about homeless issues in the community and then crafting a safe, calculated plan to help. That plan may include something similar to the blessing bag, a gift that has very little chance of being misused, or donating time or money to local organization dedicated to helping area homeless. “I think [the Long family] intentionally thought through this, poured their time, resources, and heart into it, and they are doing something practical that is safe,” says Feaker of the blessing bag project. “It is a win for them, because they can do something that makes them feel good, and a win for the people who are on the receiving end.” For many of us, the visible symbols of homelessness in our community, like those disheveled intersection beggars pleading for help on a handcrafted sign, are a disturbing reality of the difficult times. Perhaps, though, regardless of the complexities of the homelessness problem, the decision to help does not have to be so hard. In fact, the enthusiastic kindergartner makes it sound fairly simple. “Sure, you can help!” says Zoey, who also offers skeptics a pretty clearcut rationale for getting involved. “Helping them makes you happy.”

Philanthropy is a family activity that can often be overlooked in the hustle and bustle of the daily routine. It can be easy for a parent to sign a check or pledge a few dollars during a telephone drive to a charity, but this can easily be overlooked by the little ones who are absorbed with cartoons and video games. Volunteering as a family is an activity that can be done with little to no expense exhausted and can result in a priceless outcome. There are several ways for families and youngsters to volunteer in our community. Involvement with a local organization or embarking on a project like the “blessing bags” can make a great family activity, or can be an excellent way to fill a lengthy holiday, or school break. Here are a few of our suggestions: SilverbackKS is a non-profit organization led by volunteers and is dedicated to “helping those who need help standing on their own.” This troupe of local volunteers is always seeking help passing out donated coffee, water, blankets and baked goods most Sundays. They are also seeking donations for their new SilverBras project to help girls and women get properly fitted for undergarments. For more information, visit their Facebook page – SilverbackKS. Youth Volunteer Corps (YVC) of Greater Topeka creates meaningful community service opportunities for young volunteers between the ages of 11 and 18. The YVC creates opportunities for youth to volunteer on weekends, after school, or during school breaks. Topeka youth volunteers tutor children, work with animals, grow healthy food in community gardens, feed the hungry, clean up local parks, and more! For more information, contact YVC@unitedwaytopeka.org. Teens Taking Action is a program offered through the YMCA designed to instill leadership in teens and allow them to take a stand and take action in the community. Teens Taking Action hosts food and clothing drives and hope to spread awareness about the importance of volunteering from a young age. For more information, visit www.teenstakingaction.org. Other suggestions for getting your youth involved include serving a hot lunch at Let’s Help on a school break, collecting toiletry items for the Topeka Rescue Mission, or hosting a teddy bear drive for the pediatric units at the local hospitals. XYZ xyztopeka.com

public on ice b y J a n i c e Wa t k i n s • p h o t o s b y E J D r a k e | e d r a k e p h o t o g r a p h y

’Tis the season for public skate at the Kansas Expocentre

s he prepares to take the ice, eight- Ironically, it was the nervous Grant who talked his grandfather

year old Grant Livingston slowly breathes in and out as his “Papa Chuck” carefully bends down to check the laces on his skates and whisper one last pep talk into the trembling ear of the nervous, first-time skater.

Grant timidly steps onto the cool, enclosed rink at the Kansas Expocentre, as rock music blares in the background and more experienced skaters whiz by with skill and speed. He opts to use the outer railing as his guide, and carefully scoots the entire circumference of the rink before exiting for a second pep talk from his proud papa.

“I tell younger kids that when they fall that means they’re trying.” -- Aiden Droge 18

xyztopeka.com XYZ

into bringing him to the increasingly-popular public skate.

“I want to start playing hockey, but I’ve never been ice skating and I’m afraid I’ll get hurt,” said Grant. Public skate, which is held most weekends from now through spring break, provides an opportunity for new and experienced skaters alike to interact on the ice and offers an athletic outlet during the cold winter months. Nine-year old Aiden Droge tries to attend as many public skates as possible after becoming addicted to ice skating following a late night skate event held after a Topeka Roadrunners game over two years ago. “I roller-skated a lot and I was good at it,” Aiden notes of his debut on the ice. Aiden recognizes that ice skating, although similar to rollerskating, does not come as easy to all beginners as it did for him.

Left: Aiden Droge, age nine. Right: Kaitlyn Finnegan, age 10, and Below: Kolby Blenden, age nine

“I tell younger kids that when they fall that means they’re trying,” Aiden said. Kolby Blenden, the veteran of the bunch, comes bounding off the ice, quick to offer his input. At age nine, Kolby has been skating for more than two-thirds of his life, even though he admits beginning at age three “was a bit nerve-wracking.” Kolby speeds by the other skaters on the ice, fresh off a game with the Junior Roadrunners, where he puts his ice skating skills to work as goalie for the competitive youth team. His skates screech to a halt, as his gaze meets the timid expression of Grant, who is once again attempting balance along the outer wall of the rink. “I say you use chairs to keep your balance and push those on the ice,” Kolby says to new and inexperienced skaters, “but I don’t need that anymore.” The confident, red-haired goalie, however, is quick to stop and offer assistance to lessexperienced skaters before speeding off to showcase his “tricks.” Public skate offers a chance for skaters of all skill levels and ages to take a turn on the ice,

and the venue is large enough that falls are rarely noticed by more than a few bystanders. Besides, as ten-year old Kyle Riggin, who confesses he loves everything about ice skating, puts it, “It’s just about having fun and going fast, but mostly having fun.” Public skate is held at the Kansas Expocentre and admission is $5 ($2 for skate rental). Each session runs two hours and the doors open thirty minutes prior to the start of the event, with entry at the southeast entrance of Landon Arena. For more information, visit ksexpo.com. XYZ TOPEKA

XYZ xyztopeka.com

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[ music ]

scoring the cool points by Lacey Gerhardt

Lacey caves to kids’ music in the car, and surprisingly finds herself rockin’ out to Phineas and Ferb tracks while hitting the streets of Topeka.

ost of the time, I steer clear of “kid specific” music in my car. My

reasoning is totally selfish. The stuff drives me crazy. Recently, I caved, sort of, and picked up the Phineas and Ferb soundtrack from Disney. My oldest son loves everything about Phineas and Ferb so I picked it up as an off the cuff surprise. Not only was he as happy as a pig in slop when he hopped in the car one night to find that his buddies in the TV were now singing to him through the radio, I was actually pretty happy myself with how great the album really was. The soundtrack is comprised of many of the great songs that are featured on the show. The album truly contains a little bit of something for everyone. Some of the songs have country elements or reggae beats. If you’re a fan of 80’s tunes, you won’t be disappointed either, as there are several songs with sounds reminiscent of both 80’s “hair bands” and 80s pop stars like Tiffany or Debbie Gibson. It’s true that the subject matter in most of the songs is a little odd. Songs like “S.I.M.P (Squirrels in My Pants)” or “Disco Minature Golfing Queen” are full of ridiculous photo courtesy Disney XD lyrics and ample amounts of cheesiness, but the songs are so well put together and have more mature beats behind them so the catchiness of every song seems to outweigh the cheese factor. Most of the songs are short, lasting less than two minutes. On the off chance that you do find one of the songs less ear-pleasing, fear not, it will be over before you know it.

Most of the songs are short, lasting less than two minutes. On the off chance that you do find one of the songs less ear-pleasing, fear not, it will be over before you know it. One of the highlights of the album is the show’s theme song, “Today’s Gonna Be a Great Day”, which is performed by Bowling for Soup. The version on the album is a full length extended version that includes additional verses I didn’t even know existed. It has a classic Bowling for Soup sound and both my children and I are able to rock out to our best abilities. If your child is a fan of Phineas and Ferb, they will be a fan of this album; and who knows, you might just be too. I know I scored major points with my preschooler when he even managed to tell me I was “cool” for picking it up! XYZ TOPEKA

XYZ xyztopeka.com

what to wear How babywearing can be a snug fit for both parents & babes

by Nicole Huckins • photos by Sarah L ong | Joyful Photography

ou see it all over – at the grocery store, babies are worn they are less likely to come in contact with

in the library, at the museum, and in the park – parents everywhere are “wearing” their babies. Babywearing – essentially strapping your baby to your chest using a fabric sling or carrier – provides important opportunities for parents and family members to bond with baby while allowing hands to be free for other activities.

other people than when they are in a stroller or car seat, reducing opportunities for germs to spread.

Bonding is a clear benefit to babywearing, as the baby sits in close proximity to the skin and beating heart of the wearer, but there are plenty more advantages. According to Babywearing International, research has shown babywearing makes for happier, healthier babies who cry less, and helps parents more easily read their baby’s cues indicating hunger or discomfort.

This is particularly important for newborns transitioning to the outside world from the calm, sterile environment of the womb.

Babywearing also offers medical advantages for both babies and parents. Dr. Libby Rosen, professor at the Baker University School of Nursing, explained that holding the baby close actually protects it from the general public. When

“From a physiological standpoint, [babywwearing] protects from exposure, helps to regulate baby’s temperature, and gives the baby that feeling of protection in order to develop trust,” said Rosen.

Babywearing can also have positive physiological implications for parents. Rosen explained that carrying a car seat is more likely to cause back and knee problems, whereas babywearing allows the parent to maintain a more comfortable position. Modern moms have endless style, size and color options to choose from when selecting a baby carrier. In fact, choosing

< Christy Wa l l i n g f o r d a n d b a b y Ev ie. Kelly Hibber t and baby Aria >

“Babywearing protects from exposure, helps to regulate baby’s temperature and gives the baby that feeling of protection in order to develop trust.” between the many slings, wraps, mei tais, and front packs available can be a daunting task for a new mother. Rosen encourages parents to do their research and to experiment with different wraps and slings to find what they like best. Babywearing is a skill that takes time to master, and finding the right carrier for your body type is an important first step. Babies can be worn safely from birth, but it is imperative to put them in the correct holds for their age. Rosen warns against facing babies outward and carrying them on the back before their neck muscles have fully developed or separating a newborn’s legs too much in a hold. Instead, she recommends keeping a newborn in a fetal position hold, and strongly encourages parents to read directions for their particular carrier before use. Babywearing doesn’t have to end once the first birthday arrives either – it can simply transition to toddler-wearing. “As long as mom and baby are comfortable, it can go up to four years of age.” XYZ TOPEKA

[ feature ]

the dual language advantage Scott Computer Technology Magnet School offers language immersion for both English and Spanish speaking students.

MacKenzie Haefner, first grade English teacher in the duallanguage program, reads to a story to her students by Annie Brock • photos by Sarah Long | Joy ful Photography

he collection of classrooms at Scott Computer Technology Magnet, known as the “dual-language pod,”

has all the trappings of a typical Topeka elementary school. Brightly colored posters and children’s artwork adorn the walls and the sounds of young learners at work drift from the classrooms into the corridor. Upon closer inspection, however, one quickly realizes these classrooms are anything but typical. The students here are part of a dual-language program which provides instruction in language, literacy, and content areas in both Spanish and English. The classrooms are comprised of a balance of English-speaking and Spanish-speaking students, and for half of each day the students are immersed in the languages of each other. Because of its success, an expansion is underway that will eventually extend the program to every classroom in the school, with the end goal of all students leaving the fifth grade as bilingual and bi-literate. This means students will not only be fluent in both languages, but they will also be able to learn and perform high-level activities within the context of each language. “It will benefit the children,” said Nancy Kirk, a USD 501 school board member. “We’re in a global economy in a world that is highly connected. Being literate in both languages is what we’re after. Being able to do math, biology, literature in both languages is what we’re after.” 24

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Students like second-grader Jackie Perez, who comes from a home where both English and Spanish are spoken, enjoys being a part of the dual-language program. “I just want to learn more,” said Jackie, “I want to learn more Spanish so I know what they say when I’m in church. And my Grandma thinks it’s great.” The curriculum is taught in both languages by a twoperson teaching team – one who teaches in English and one who teaches in Spanish. Currently, this program includes groups from each of the pre-school, kindergarten, first, and second grade classes – a total of about 140 students – but over the next seven years, Principal Deborah Sidwell and her team will spearhead an initiative to phase every class at every grade level into the program. “This is such an enriching program,” said Anna Woods, parent of a dual-language learner. “I know that my son is getting all the core subjects that he would get at any other school, but with the added advantage of acquiring a second language in such a natural and authentic setting.” Next year Scott will officially become the Scott Dual Language and Technology Magnet. Although many schools have English as a Second Language (ESL) and English Language Learner (ELL) programs, this program accomplishes something very different. “We’re adding a language, not subtracting one,” said kindergarten teacher Kelsey Rebein. At each grade level, teachers are paired into English and Spanish speaking teams that they jokingly refer to as “marriages” because of the sheer amount of hours they must work together in order to coordinate the duallanguage curriculum. Many of the Spanish-speaking

Top Left: Both English and Spanish languages are represented on wall art in a Scott classroom. Top Right: A Spanish number collage is posted outside a kindergarten classroom. Middle Right: Principal Deborah Sidwell will supervise the dual-language changeover. Bottom Right: Second grade Spanish teacher Leo Cangiani outside his classroom.

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Scott’s dual-language teachers include (L to R) Leo Cangiani, Kelsey Rebein, Melisha Colon, Dawn Trujillo, Maricela Cerenil, and Tina Auten

teachers must put in hours upon hours of extra work translating classroom materials that aren’t readily available in Spanish. Perhaps the biggest win of the program lies with Spanishspeaking students, many of whom find themselves marginalized in the public school system, even mistakenly getting placed in special education classrooms. The dual-language program not only teaches them essential curriculum in their native language, but it incorporates becoming fluent in English through immersion. “It levels the playing field,” said Tina Auten, the English teacher for the dual-language pre-K classroom. “It gives the English and Spanish students a chance to shine.” Overall, Sidwell said parents have been extremely excited about the program,

the language barrier. In that regard, the numbers speak for themselves: seven out of eight duallanguage program teachers had a 100 percent turnout for parent-teacher conferences. “They are in a different generation,” said Shavonn Smith, the mother of two students currently enrolled in the duallanguage program, “I think it’s good for the

Spanish-speaking parents feel more empowered to become involved in their child’s education because the program largely eliminates the language barrier. reporting waiting lists of families wanting to enroll their children. Spanish-sp eaking parents also feel more empowered to become involved in their child’s education because the program largely eliminates

kids, it’s going to benefit them in the long run.” At the completion of the program students will not only be reading, learning, and comprehending in two languages, but will have developed life skills in two languages and a deeper respect for another culture. Research has shown that, even with the added challenge of learning new concepts in another language, dual-language students tend to do as well as or out-perform their single-language counterparts in academic testing.

From the bottoms of our hearts... Your gift to Family Service & Guidance Center ensures that children and families have access to the quality mental health services they need to live healthier, happier lives. Go to our website, www.fsgctopeka.com, and click “How to Help” to learn more.

Left: Dual-language learners line up to go home after a hard day of work. Far left: Kindergartner Aiyana says she loves learning in two languages. Top: Spanish numbers and letters are on display in a Scott classroom and Anna Woods volunteers as a parent advocate in support of the dual-language program expansion.

“If students want to be competitive in a global society, they need to speak more than one language,” said Sidwell. “I truly believe kids who are bilingual have a foot up.” Parents like Woods and Smith believe the expansion of the dual-language program will give their children an edge in the future when they look for work in an increasingly competitive job market in an increasingly multi-cultural world. “Topeka will benefit from the students that come out of Scott Magnet’s dual-language program,” said Woods, “They will be prepared with the 21st century skills necessary to keep our businesses and community thriving.” If you are interested in obtaining more information on the dual-language program or would like to apply your child for enrollment, contact USD 501 Demographic Services at 785295-3055. XYZ TOPEKA

Make your gift today… because every child deserves a happy childhood.

...to the tips of our mistletoes. Improving children’s lives since 1904 785.232.5005 • www.fsgctopeka.com @fsgctopeka

cool kid’s bday

a well-planned affair

by Lacey Gerhardt • photos by Megan Rogers | Megan Rogers Photographie

cool kid Chandler, age 1

n a blustery October day in Topeka, a group of children and their parents converged on a

brightly-decorated oasis in the middle of a field that served as the backdrop for the first birthday party of Chandler Bivens. Chandler’s mom, Caroline Bivens, had spent the previous four months pulling together every last detail of the party – and it did not disappoint. As Caroline began planning Chandler’s party (when he just eight months old), she found inspiration in some old air-mailed, handwritten letters she kept as keepsakes from her father’s time stationed in Vietnam. Thus, Chandler’s party theme became “air mail,” and the familiar red and blue striping of old-fashioned air mail letters were a heavily featured element of the party décor. Even the hay bales used as seating were spray painted with red and blue stripes to keep with the theme. The birthday party was a DIYer’s dream, and had Caroline’s distinctive handmade touch on almost every aspect. From tags and labels to the hand-painted tablecloth – Caroline created it all. The only thing Caroline purchased premade was a set of tiny air mail envelopes that served as decoration on the food table, but only because she couldn’t get her printer to make them look “just right.” From the first impression to the last glance, guests could see that every detail was carefully considered – and the food was no exception. Airplane-themed music played quietly in the background as guests sipped hot cocoa and cider served in glass

d.i.y. bday ideas 1. Start at Home: Look around your house for things you can use that you have on hand. This might give you some good inspiration for a central theme. 2. Use and Reuse: Don’t let your decorations get too specific; stick to colors you can use for another holiday or party. 3. Little Investments: Buy inexpensive clear glass dishes and use them for all your parties. Stay cheap so that if one breaks it’s no big deal. 4. D.I.Y.: Make your own decorations; this will take more time, but cost less in the long run. 5. Details, Details: Little tags and labels will give your party a warm, homemade touch.

mugs and lemonade served with striped paper straws, and munched on popcorn from custom-made bags and chocolate-dipped pretzels adorned with coordinating red and blue colored sprinkles. Even the layers of the birthday boy’s cake were dyed red and blue to match the theme. Activities for the children included folding paper airplanes out of scrapbook paper and painting designs on model airplanes made from clothespins. The centerpiece of the party design was a large vintage mail divider that Caroline picked up during a First Friday Art Walk. The divider was filled with custom printed letters and envelopes featuring Chandler’s name. Caroline’s passion is creating and planning moments like this. As a stay-at-home mother of four, she enjoys using what little free time she has to design and develop these events. “Although it seems like I spend a lot of time on parties and such, this is my outlet. This is what I get excited about,” Caroline says. “If I loved to read, I would read. If I loved to run, I would run. I love to create, so I create!” Because of the amount of time she puts into the parties, she only throws a “big” birthday party for her children every other year. Otherwise, she’d be planning parties all the time. The parties in the off years are certainly not lacking, though. The more intimate birthday gatherings in the Bivens’ home still come with a theme and are covered in Caroline’s classic personal touches. And, truly, personal touches are the centerpiece of Caroline’s creations. XYZ TOPEKA XYZ xyztopeka.com

someone to confide in CASA volunteers are a constant in the ever-changing lives of Shawnee County foster children b y J a n i c e Wa t k i n s photos by EJ Drake | edrake photography

significant need exists

when it comes to maintaining stability for youth currently in the foster care system in Shawnee County – a need that resonates with the staff and volunteers of CASA. Sarah Terwelp, Executive Director of CASA, or the Court Appointed Special Advocates program of Shawnee County, recalls the particular time frame of one former foster child often; he was removed from his home and placed in the custody of the State of Kansas at age five, followed by fourteen consecutive years in foster care and forty-seven different placements, until eventually aging out of the system at age eighteen. Numbers like these cause concern, which is why the number CASA consistently focuses on is “one.”

Sarah Terwelp, Executive Director and Kaitlin Alegria, current CASA volunteer (left to

The CASA program seeks to maintain at right) stand in the CASA office least one constant in the life of a foster child – a single CASA volunteer. In a relentlessly her desire to attend law school and ambition to help children. changing foster care program, with frequent shifts in judicial CASA was the perfect fit, as it is a Supreme Court-certified procedure, as well as court personnel, judges, and case program that matches screened and trained volunteers workers, the CASA may often serve as the single consistent as advocates for children involved in juvenile court point of contact and allows the child to bond with and proceedings. maintain the same CASA throughout the duration of the “I’ve just had an opportunity to impact families directly that I case. would not have had otherwise,” she says of her service to the program since September 2011.

“Whether it is a mentorship or a friendship that develops – it tends to be lifelong.” “They just need someone to maintain that hope,” sighs Kaitlin Alegria, a current CASA volunteer. “The goal of the CASA is to remain that glimmer of hope, to say ‘that’s the goal’, whether it is going back with parents or with a supportive home.” Alegria, currently one of sixty-five active volunteers in the Shawnee County program, was drawn to CASA because of 30

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Working under a court order, Alegria visits with the child’s family, educational providers, medical professionals, and other service providers as necessary to make recommendations to the Court. CASA’s goal is to ensure stability and safety in the life of the child.

Alegria currently serves as the CASA in three cases. These cases involve large sibling sets, which Terwelp notes is not uncommon. With sixty-five active volunteers, currently serving 450 children in Shawnee County, there is often a need for CASAs to serve on multiple cases. Terwelp does confirm several active cases with multiple siblings, often increasing the need for a single CASA, as it may result

in the only remaining connection the children have, due to different placements. Terwelp is constantly seeking to add new volunteers to the program. Volunteers are trained over the course of 30 hours, including twenty hours of face-to-face classroom time; six hours of observation; and four hours of self-study. It may seem like a large time commitment, but can be well worth it. “Whether it is a mentorship or a friendship that develops – it tends to be lifelong,” says Terwelp. Alegria tends to agree. Now in her first year of law school, Alegria has already realized the impact that her service to the CASA program has provided in the consistency and personal touch she can provide to the children she serves, including anything from a monthly outing to a late-night phone call. “One of my children in foster care recently called me on the phone. She had had a fight with a foster-sibling, and she was crying. I realized there was no one else she could have called,“ smiled Alegria. “I can provide more of a personal connection. I can be the constant.” For more information about becoming a CASA volunteer, visit casaofshawneecounty.org.

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by Nicole Huckins • photos by Sarah L ong | Joyful Photography

day trip!

Bonner Springs

by Rio Cervantes-Reed photos by Sarah Long Joy ful Photography

t’s a truism that one of the great

things about Topeka is its proximity to Kansas City. With a large city nearby, we can enjoy a wider selection of cultural arts, sports, diverse shopping experiences, fine food, and a major airport to be whisked off to all points elsewhere. And it’s all about an hour’s drive away. Unless you’re going to a concert or the Renaissance Festival, or needing a bathroom break off of I-70, you probably don’t venture far off the Bonner Springs exit. XYZ found plenty of reasons to take a left off the exit ramp and keep going for a bit of an adventure with the kids. Our destination was the Moon Marble Company. Located at 600 E. Front Street, the building is a bit deceptive. A plain blue gray building with a dearth of windows, one might expect just a simple shop with a wall full of marbles and maybe a

glass studio area. One would be wrong. Stepping through the door you’re immediately welcomed by the store clerks who want to know who you are and where you’re from, and will let you know what is going on, such as a field trip you can tag along with for a tour, or a marble-making demonstration getting ready to start in the studio. Look around and you’ll see not only a plethora of marbles, but a wall of vintage toys, including Fisher-Price offerings, family board games, and Slinkies. According to co-owner Lynda Sproules, “Very few things here require batteries.” The marbles are truly the star of the show. A wall opposite the cash register holds bins of marbles in every size (pee wees are half an inch or smaller and toebreakers are at least 2 inches in diameter), color and finish. The etched marbles truly look like candy (watch the toddlers!), and will shift any paradigm about marbles you may hold. Lynda shares, “Most of these marbles are made in Guadalajara, Mexico, which has the largest marble factory in the world. They tend to be fancier and more colorful. We also have marbles made in West Virginia, which is the largest factory in the U.S.” The U.S.-made marbles are more traditional and available in common solid colors and consistent sizes, making them ideal for games such as Chinese Checkers. Lynda then guided us to the larger back room, where one wall is floor to ceiling with display cases featuring art glass marbles. These marbles vary in size, and feature unique decorative properties, such as a blooming flower on the inside, or a cute frog sitting on top of the marble. The larger and more elaborate marbles feature underwater scenes, cityscapes, and

wondrous abstract designs. These pieces come from glass artists all over the country, including those who work in the Moon Marble Company studio. This room is where the adults will get excited about gift-buying, or finding an art piece to display at home. But never fear, this room also offers more toys, marble and non-marble, to keep the kids interested. With visions of the possibilities of what marbles can look like dancing in our heads, we heard the call from a store clerk: a marble-making demonstration was about to begin! We followed a family group into the studio and found seats on the second row of bleachers. The glass artist, Ernie Kobler then went step-by-step, using a table-mounted torch, glass rods and other tools to make a marble right before our eyes. First creating a simple clear ball, it soon was twisted, injected and fired up, resulting in a complex decorative marble. A camera trained on the workspace also projects each step on to a big screen television just above the artist. The son of a scientific glass blower (his dad worked with neon), Kobler has worked in glass since he was six years old. He had a small workspace in his dad’s shop where he made figurines. He says marble-making is addictive. “You can make [marbles] anyway you want. You don’t have to worry about a pattern. There is no limit to what you can do.” Kobler worked in kiosks in malls and at Worlds of Fun in Kansas City, where customers could order whatever figurine they wanted, and he would make it on the spot. Due to the globalization of the market though, and the increase in rent for mall space, you’ll no longer find these glass artists out and about, except at crafts and art fairs. That is one of the glories of a place like the Moon Marble Company. Glass artists can feature and share their work with visitors from all over the country who come by car or bus. We suggest you join them. XYZ TOPEKA

make a day of it

hanks to Moon Marble Co. co-owner and glass artist Bruce Breslow who recommended a few more spots in Bonner Springs for us to visit. We checked a few of them out, and give them the “thumbs up” for your family’s visit. We found the downtown to be very accessible, with good sidewalks, curb ramps, pedestrian crossings and free parking. Red Fortune Chinese Restaurant | 117 Oak Street | myredfortune.com | Locally-owned, this popular lunch and dinner spot is just a few blocks from the Moon Marble Co. in downtown Bonner Springs. While waiting to be seated (barely a minute wait) we were already being advised by the locals as to what to order. Dining with children here is easy too: Bruce recommends the sweet and sour chicken with the sauce on the side. It then becomes a chicken nugget dish the kids will recognize, with a big bonus: fresh crisp veggies! Pink Zebra Boutique | 221 Oak Street | thepinkzebraboutique. com | Pink Zebra is a very special place, especially for the princesses in your family. One wall is full of mostly pink fluffy

apparel and accessories for most ages (including babies), and the shop has boutique-quality, affordable clothing and accessories for mom and grandma, and of course, aunties. At the time of our visit, the home décor shop located inside was preparing to move to a new location across the street, and may be open by the time you read this. Call 913-422-1555 if you need to know before you go. Go Lizards Exotic Pet Store & Bait Shop | 220 Cedar Street | golizards.com | This will please the non-princess types in your family. This shop is full of exotic animals, from the scaly and slimy to the feathered and furry. You’ll be greeted by American alligators (don’t worry, they’re not loose), and find tortoises in the corner. There are lizards, birds and dwarf hamsters throughout the store, accompanied by knowledgeable and friendly staff. The National Agricultural Center & Hall of Fame | 630 Hall of Fame Drive | AgHallofFame.com | Their motto: “If You Eat, You Are Involved In Agriculture.” With several exhibits, kids can learn about their food, from stable to table, from farm to kitchen. Visit their website for a schedule of special activities and admission fees. XYZ xyztopeka.com

bullying

by Annie Brock •

photos by Megan Rogers | Megan Rogers Photographie

Bullying is a nationwide issue that has become very prevalent in our media and within our own community. We wish to offer three different encounters of bullying – how it has impacted a woman who has been bullied her entire life and the strength she is instilling in others; one mother’s recent nightmare and her son’s ongoing battle with bullying; and the tools the schools are offering to prevent bullying. It takes just one person to stand up to bullying and we hope all teachers, parents, students and citizens will take a stand for victims like Jill, Adam and Ashlyn, and all that have suffered, either as a bully or a victim.

Jill Eberhart has never had it easy. Born with an exposed brain, wide-spaced uneven eyes, and a cleft lip and palate, she would undergo twenty-three surgeries in early childhood. Because her cleft palate made eating next to impossible, doctors even suggested to Eberhart’s mother that it might be in her best interest to let her struggling baby starve instead of grow up to likely be deaf, blind, and, ultimately, institutionalized. Her mother, however, refused to accept that fate for her daughter. Despite her poor medical odds – even clinically dying and being brought back to life by doctors as a toddler – Eberhart managed to thrive. Despite those odds, unbelievably, her most difficult challenges were yet to come. The surgical scars and learning deficiencies resulting from her birth defects made her a prime target for schoolyard bullies. Eberhart dreaded going to school each day knowing she would face taunts of “retard” for her learning disabilities and “Freddy Krueger” and “Elephant Man’s Wife” for her facial disfigurements. Often the bullies’ mean insults would escalate to physical violence, as Eberhart was spit on and pelted with rocks. “I played sick quite a bit. My mom knew the drill. She knew I wasn’t really sick, but that I wanted to stay home to keep away from the bullying,” says Eberhart, now 34 and an assistant at a local preschool. Eberhart is also the mother to a nine-year old daughter, who attends Williams Magnet School in Topeka, and she marvels at the strides the school system has taken to combat bullying since her experiences as a youth. 34

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“Today they are really concerned about it,” says Eberhart. “My daughter’s school did a full week about standing up to bullies.” Many Topeka schools recently took part in a bully prevention week. The students were asked to wear different colors each day as a symbolic gesture in the fight against bullying, and each day Eberhart, in solidarity with her daughter and in support of the antibullying cause, would wear that color to work. You do not have to talk to Eberhart long to know that she is not a person who dwells on her challenges. She has embraced her difficult past by talking and writing about it, and she is not afraid or ashamed to answer questions from her daughter or the young children she works with about why she looks different. She believes having an open dialogue about peoples’ differences will help create a culture of acceptance. It is a lesson that seems to be paying off, as Eberhart says she was floored recently when her daughter said, out of the blue, “Mom, I don’t care if your mouth is different; it’s beautiful to me.” Despite the cruelties of her early life, Eberhart is no stranger to love and kindness from others. In fact, she credits her family and friends for getting her through the darkest times of her youth, which included contemplating suicide on several occasions. “I would get so frustrated that I was born the way I was, but God put me in the right family because my mom, my sister, my brother - they’ve shown me what love is,” says Eberhart. Eberhart may have survived years of torture at the hands of bullies, but she refuses to live her life as a victim. She wants students who are facing similar difficulties at school because of their real or

“It was much more traumatic than I ever could have imagined,” e

-- Kristina, mother of ten-year-old bully victim

perceived differences to know that life does get better. She has even found forgiveness for those who made her miserable all those years ago. “It will always be a pain that I carry,” says Eberhart, “but I wouldn’t be able to live if I was mad at the world. I believe in second chances.” In a way, Eberhart was given her own second chance at life as a toddler and to this day, she is constantly reminding herself of her own strength and that no obstacle exists that she cannot - or has not already – overcome. It is a positive attitude toward living she encourages in her daughter and in any child who has suffered at the hands of a bully. “Speak up. Raise your voice. Or go to somebody who will have a voice for you,” says Eberhart to students who are dealing with bullies. “Never be afraid to speak up and never be afraid of who you are.”

t was nearly impossible for Kristina to fight back her tears as she sat in the principal’s office of her son’s Topeka elementary school and watched her tenyear old child being beaten by three other students in a soundless, black-and-white video that had been captured on a school bus security camera. “It was so much more traumatic than I ever could have imagined,” she said. “Having to sit there and watch twenty minutes of your child getting bullied and beaten and knowing that there is nothing you can do to take back all that pain is awful.” A few days prior, her fifth grade son exited his bus, his body sore and his spirit broken, after having been physically assaulted by three students, while other children on the bus laughed and videotaped the assault on their cell phones. Her son, Adam, admits that he became involved in a verbal confrontation with

two students on his bus that fateful day in October 2012. The other students were teasing him and he engaged them and taunted back, which he now admits was a mistake. Little did he know, those words, spoken out of anger, would lead to his being punched repeatedly by several students while others video recorded his humiliation and pain. The attack began when, after some backand-forth talk, Adam was kicked by another student. Adam defiantly asked, “Is that all?” No, it most certainly wasn’t. Adam says the student began punching him multiple times and when the punching stopped the student proudly passed around a cell phone used to video record the attack. Fellow bus-riders gathered around the video and laughed, sneering at Adam that he’d be famous when it hit YouTube. continued >>

Sadly, the assault didn’t end there. Apparently spurred on by the encouragement of the other children – perhaps the so-called “gang mentality” often referenced in cases of extreme bullying and group violence – another student came up behind Adam and punched him in the head repeatedly, knocking his glasses off his face. This assault was followed by a third student taking a turn punching Adam and squeezing his neck trying to find a “pressure point.” “I just tried to curl up in a ball and protect myself,” said Adam. At one point, a student even asked the third attacker to “redo it” in order to get a better video. The student obliged and began punching Adam again. Adam made a grab for the phone so he could delete the humiliating videos, but his failed attempt only provoked the students and promoted further punches. “[They] started punching me again a lot of times,” said Adam of his aggressors, “between the attacks on the bus, I tried to focus on the scenery outside of the bus and tried to calm down. I also thought about how I was going to tell my mom what happened.” 36

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Despite her horror at the events that transpired that day, Kristina couldn’t be prouder of how her son handled the attack. “He is very brave, and continues to surprise me with how brave he is,” said Kristina. “He never tried to throw a punch back, which I am thankful for because then he would be in trouble too.” Once she learned what had happened to her son, Kristina began placing calls to school officials and to Durham, the company contracted to provide bus transportation for USD 501. Unfortunately, the bus driver claimed to have seen nothing and the video, although poor in quality and soundless, does not show him being alerted to the situation. Kristina does say she is happy with the response from personnel at her son’s school, indicating the principal reacted swiftly and decisively once he saw the shocking footage. Kristina said all of the students involved in the attack were suspended and had their bus privileges revoked for four weeks – the maximum allowable period for an elementary school student. Unfortunately, school bus bullying incidents like this are all too

common across the United States. In a recent National Education Association survey that included nearly 500 school bus drivers, 40% of respondents said that a student had reported a bullying incident to them in the last month. Even though bus drivers are being inundated with these reports, two-thirds of them said they felt they needed more training on how to address different types of bullying, including physical, verbal, and cyber bullying. Although representatives from USD 501 are unable to comment on specific incidents involving students, they did say the district has a clear anti-bullying policy that extends to the bus and other forms of school transportation. In part, it states “bullying, hazing, harassment, intimidation, or menacing by students, staff or third parties is strictly prohibited and shall not be tolerated in the district. The Board of Education hereby prohibits bullying in any form… while on or utilizing school property, in a school vehicle or at a school-sponsored activity or event.” The fact that the students who perpetrated the attack against Adam will eventually be back on the bus spurred Kristina to remove both of her children from bus-riding completely. Even though she reports that the bus driver, who was at the wheel at the time of the incident, has since received re-training in the area of recognizing bullying, she feels the bus is no longer a safe environment for her children. “On most buses the only adult is the bus driver. They are expected to keep their eyes on the road and on all of the children behind them,” said Kristina. “You cannot have it both ways. There needs to be another adult on these buses.” Additionally, Adam’s parents are considering pursuing criminal battery charges against the students who assaulted their son, although Adam is uncertain he wants to continue reliving the incident. “How can I explain it? What those children did to him was criminal,” said Kristina. “There was nothing that he could have ever done or said to warrant that kind of response.” Adam continues to try to make sense of what happened that day, wondering what he might have done differently, how he might have avoided the attack. “I do wish he would have spoken up. We have told him in the past that if someone ever tries to hurt or grab you, you scream. You scream your head off,” said Kristina. “But he just never thought he would have to do that with other kids his own age.” (The names of Adam and Kristina are altered to protect the identity of the victim and the possibility of ongoing legal action in this matter.)

oming home from school in tears was an all-too-often occurrence for Topeka-area fourth grader, Ashlyn. Ashlyn was being targeted by a classmate who teased her for being part of the gifted program at school -- calling her names and picking on her for not being “normal.” “Sometimes I wished that I wasn’t smart,” said Ashlyn, recalling her experiences. Ashlyn’s mom tried everything to put an end to the bullying. She spoke with the other student’s parents; made an appointment to discuss the issue with school officials; requested that Ashlyn not be in the same class with the other student; and requested a special seating arrangement on her daughter’s bus. According to Meadows Elementary School guidance counselor, Deb Hess, a 29-year veteran of the Topeka public school system, any parent whose child is struggling with bullying at school should be proactive like Ashlyn’s mom. The first step, according to Hess, is to encourage the student to immediately report any bullying to an adult at school. “Many times I get calls from parents about students reporting at home that they have been bullied at school. When I investigate, no one at school was aware of the situation. It is sometimes difficult after the fact to get good information about the situation,” said Hess. Encouraging students to immediately report instances of bullying is a cornerstone of USD 501’s bullying education program. Teaching students about bullying, however, has not always been a part of the curriculum in Topeka schools. Hess recalls the bullying issue coming to the forefront after the Columbine shootings in 1999. Eventually, bullying prevention legislation was mandated by the state government, and public schools are now required to develop policies to address school bullying. Topeka schools have instituted a bullying program that starts early and spans all grade levels. “We start bully prevention education in kindergarten by teaching pro-social skills. As students enter second grade we focus on the bully, bystander, and target roles. We continue teaching age-appropriate lessons at the beginning of each year that address bullying,” said Hess. Although bullying can have emotional and physical implications for the victims, the students perpetrating the bullying often have psychological needs that must also be addressed. “Many times when a student is bullying it is a learned behavior or a response to a situation that they do not have the skills to deal with,” said Hess. “I believe that there should be consequences, but XYZ xyztopeka.com 37 continued >>

bullying goes much deeper. There needs to be support for that student to develop appropriate skills.” Much like the bullied child, if the needs of the child who bullies go unaddressed, it can have significant consequences later in life. According to the National Crime Prevention Council, students who bully others are more likely to do poorly in school, smoke, drink alcohol, and commit crimes in the future. In fact, one research study showed that 60 percent of boys who were identified as bullies throughout middle school were convicted of at least one crime by the time they were age 24, and 40 percent of them had three or more criminal convictions. Research has also indicated that school-sponsored anti-bullying programs can reduce the incidences of bullying by 50 percent. Topeka schools have recognized the need for bully prevention, and they have implemented bullying programs that include training staff on recognizing bullying, developing bully awareness education programs, and designating the month of October as anti-bullying awareness month. For students like Ashlyn, these programs can be a lifesaver. Bully education has not just taught her what to do when she is confronted by a bully, but also what she can do to help when she sees someone else being bullied. Ashlyn’s parents also made an appointment with a private counselor to help her work through issues associated with being the victim of bullying. “She helped me feel better about it,” said Ashlyn of her counselor, “She made me feel better about myself and showed me I don’t deserve to be bullied.” Certainly, no child deserves to be bullied, which is why school districts nationwide are taking steps to ensure a safe learning environment for all children. In conjunction with those efforts, however, it is essential that parents be proactive. If a parent suspects his or her child, or any child, of bullying or being bullied, it is important to alert and engage school personnel.

Fight back against bullying with these tips: 1. Find a trusted teacher or school official that you can turn to about bullying issues. 2. Report bullying as soon as possible. 3. Keep a journal that describes any bullying encounters – specifically noting who, what, and where. 4. Get involved in activities that provide the opportunity for healthy relationships, which will provide a support system. 38

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[ local literature reviews ]

The Pillow Fairy by Regina Stephenson • photos contributed by the author

o all the parents who’ve struggled but still pays an

with their children refusing to go to bed alone – Marcia G. Riley feels your pain. It’s why she wrote her new children’s book, The Pillow Fairy. The Topeka author even dedicated her book “to all the mommies and daddies who never sleep alone.”

The Pillow Fairy is about an active three-year-old named Matt who likes to ride his bike and play outside, but hates to sleep alone. One night his mother tells him about a fairy who visits children at night and leaves presents when they sleep in their own beds. Matt, encouraged by this, decides to try sleeping alone for a few nights, and wakes up each morning with gifts from the Pillow Fairy tucked under his pillow. After a few months, the Pillow Fairy stops bringing gifts as often,

occasional visit as Matt gets used to sleeping in his own bed. The Pillow Fairy is not only a fun story with a familiar problem, but it’s also a testament to creative parenting. Riley’s book – which is based on her own parenting technique turned family tradition – might serve as a solution to your child’s nighttime dependency, but it also stands alone as a great bedtime tale. The illustrations, by Joni E. Patterson, bring the story to life. Crisp and well-defined, the manga-like characters are drawn in warm tones, with the Pillow Fairy simply depicted as a soft glow of light in Matt’s darkened room. Children who are afraid of the dark will especially love The Pillow Fairy, who appears much like a benevolent nightlight floating past the windows. Whether it’s a bedtime or anytime story, The Pillow Fairy is an excellent read for all. To purchase your own, and personally autographed copy, visit thepillowfairy.net.

Freddy Finley

hen young fish Freddy Finley

goes looking to change himself, he finds some unexpected wisdom from his under-thesea friends in Topeka author Gloria Garcia’s book, Freddy Finley.

In this illustrated story for kids, Freddy Finley decides to ask King Neptune, God of the Sea, to grant his wish to change into something other than a fish. He meets lots of different sea creatures along the way, asking each who they are and how he might become them. The other characters, from turtles to sharks, encourage Freddy to stay who he is by sharing the downsides of being like them. Freddy’s journey is a fun adventure, written in both 40

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English and Spanish. The English version is written in poemform, and, although the rhyming is stilted at times, (“Samuel says, ‘Freddy, I’m already taken/Besides, I can just gallop from here to there, let there be no mistaken”) Freddy Finley has a wide readership appeal. The cadence should please

young listeners, and beginning readers will delight in the repetition and easy vocabulary. Whether your child is part of a bilingual household or just learning for fun, the Spanish translation is a good way to incorporate two languages into your reading repertoire. The illustrations were done by the author’s uncle, Andy Valdivia, a Topeka artist who has depicted Hispanic heritage and tradition both on the local and international scale. His illustrations add mystery to the book, and the dark blues of the deep ocean-bottom provide the perfect backdrop on Freddy’s quest to discover how much he already shines. Freddy Finley offers much to readers with its English/Spanish translations and interesting rhyme scheme. And, in what is excellent news for Freddy lovers, Garcia plans to continue her underwater tale in three additional volumes to be completed in 2013. XYZ TOPEKA

Sophia (5) recently proclaimed, “Daddy we need maple trees!” “Why is that?” he asked. “Because I like syrup.” – submitted by Melissa A pop song on the radio says “It’s always a good time!” Willow says-- “Mom, it’s not ALWAYS a good time - like when you are an old man and fall over. Or when you build a tree house and a dog bites the tree and the house falls down and you try to fix it but the glue isn’t strong enough.” – submitted by Bailey

heard + noted

what Topeka kids are saying “XYZ Heard and Noted” on Facebook

Finn (8) told me that his teacher told him “Good Luck” on his show that was opening the following day. “It’s okay.” He said. “She didn’t know you’re supposed to say ‘Break-A-Leg’. That’s what she meant.” - submitted by Shannon This morning I asked my 6-year old son what he wanted for breakfast, he promptly broke out into a Spice Girl’s song, “I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want!” Thanks Just Dance for Kids! – submitted by Winter Making dinner tonight, I had Lily (6 1/2) helping me peel the zucchini and cut tomato slices into bits. She offered me a tomato bit to taste: Me: “Lily, that tastes great. That must mean you’re doing an excellent job!” Lily: “Thank you, Master.” – submitted by Laurel We are in the process of potty training. We were cleaning up an accident when my son informed me that I was supposed to thank him for telling me he had pooped in his pants. When I told him he was supposed to tell me before he pooped, he responded “Ohhhhh, I forgot.” – submitted by Barbara Rachel: “Mom, if you’re a dentist, how come you had a cavity? Me: “Because I was a little girl at one point.” Rachel: “OH.” – submitted by Julie XYZ xyztopeka.com

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d.i.y.

Kansas Ornaments

tutorial by Erin Snethen | photos by Zach Snethen

et ready for the holiday season or Kansas Day on

January 29 by creating these simple ornaments with your kids! If you’re ambitious, you can make them in multiples to gift during the holidays. All stitching can be done by hand or with a machine.

Kansas Ornament - Wool or Craft Felt – 8” x 12” sheets (1 each)

(2)

Kansas Outline – brown

(1)

Heart –off-white

Sunflower Ornament – Wool or Craft Felt – 8” x 12” sheets (1 each)

(2)

Sunflower Background – off-white

(12)

Sunflower Petals – 2 shades of yellow (light and dark)

(1)

Sunflower Center – brown

¼”-wide Ribbon – off-white

Polyester Batting

Craft Tape

Contrasting Thread or Embroidery Floss

Hand Sewing Needle or Sewing Machine

Whip stitch: Knot one end of thread, insert needle and thread on wrong side to back piece, keeping knot inside ornament. Work from right to left. Insert needle and thread from front to back, looping around top edge. Insert needle and thread again, along same row as original stitch, slightly to the left. Repeat along all raw edges. 44

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Get ready for the holidays or Kansas Day on Jan. 29 by sewing these one-of-a-kind Kansas ornaments.

Kansas 1. Create Kansas outline and heart using template provided. 2. On one Kansas outline, place heart on Topeka location. Attach using zigzag stitch. 3. Put Kansas pieces wrong sides together, stitching edges closed using whip stitch. Leave 2” opening along center top. 4. Stuff ornament with batting. 5. Cut an 8” strip of ribbon. Create a loop. Insert ends at center top of ornament. Close opening with whip stitch.

Sunflower 1. Start with light yellow petals; create the first layer by spreading out petals in a circle onto one sunflower background. Stitch petals to sunflower background using straight stitch. 2. Create second layer of flower by spreading out dark yellow petals in the openings. Repeat straight stitch. 3. To create top layer, use straight stitch on sunflower center. Starting along outer edges, stitch following curve of circle and spiral towards center. 4. Put sunflower pieces wrong sides together, stitching edges closed using whip stitch. Leave 2” opening. 5. Stuff ornament with batting.

printable tutorial: xyztopeka.com/d-i-y-sewing/

6. Cut an 8” strip of ribbon. Create a loop. Insert ends at center top of ornament. Close opening with whip stitch. XYZ TOPEKA

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Experience the Difference Attach this ad to your child’s application. We’ll waive the application fee. www.topekacollegiate.org

i was a

tweenage Food Critic

Visit: Local food reviews by food aficionado Grant, age 11. photo by EJ Drake

The Basics: Tuptim Thai Restaurant 220 SW 29th St. | 785.266.2299 Hours: Mon. - Fri. 9-2:30 p.m. and 5-9 p.m., Sat. 12-9, Closed Sunday

This was my first trip to Tuptim Thai and my first time trying thai food. It was hard to get there because of all of the construction, but I had a feeling it would be worth it.

Ambiance + Service: When you walk in you immediately notice all of the nice Asian-style decorations. I especially liked the cat statues. We were greeted promptly and seated. The hostess immediately poured us glasses of water and we were greeted shortly after by our waitress to get our drink order.

Food: We started looking at the huge menu. There were so many choices that it was kind of overwhelming. My dad suggested we started off with the Tuptim Sampler while we decided what we wanted to eat.

be a good place to start. We ordered both mild on the spiciness scale. I thought it would have been helpful if there were pictures or illustrations of some kind in the menu. As soon as we finished our appetizers, our food was promptly served. Both came with a bowl of steamed rice. I started with the Thai Roasted Duck. The first thought I had when I put the first bite in my mouth was to eat MORE! The duck had a nice savory flavor. It was served over bok choy which gave it some crunch and added flavor. The Chicken Thunder was more of a sweet flavor with a heavy citrus taste. My favorite part of the chicken dish had to be the miniature mushrooms and corn. Both dishes were delicious and I’d order them again. Next time, I’d even be brave and add some more spice on the chicken.

The Tuptim Sampler consisted of four money bags, two crispy spring rolls and two fresh spring rolls. My favorite item was the money bags because they reminded me of crab rangoon.

Last Thoughts:

We decided to share the Thai Roasted Duck with Garlic Sauce and the Chicken Thunder. Both of these items were on the Specialty part of the menu so we thought that would

Kids who come here need to be adventurous and willing to try new foods. After eating a big and delicious meal, you’ll be ready for a nap!

Throughout the entire meal we had excellent service. I had plenty of drink refills and our server was very friendly. There was a great crowd for as hard as it was to get to.

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There are 6 little differences between these two photos. Can you tell what they are? b y J u l i e Va s q u e z | J u l i e V P h o t o g r a p h y