Girl power: how to raise strong confident daughters

Entrepreneur, author, blogger and mum, Jo Wimble-Groves, gives us her advice on empowering young girls, with insights from her new parenting book, Rise of the Girl.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO WRITE RISE OF THE GIRL?

There is no magic formula for raising strong, confident girls. However, knowing that using our voices to share information can have an impact, I wanted to share seven empowering conversations that I am having with my own daughter, who is almost 12, in this book.

In 2018, a study was conducted by the Mental Health Foundation with the aim to shed light on the mental health of our children and young people. Worryingly, the figures showed that for children aged between 17 and 19 years old, nearly one in four young women had a mental health disorder, with emotional disorders (in particular, anxiety) the most commonly reported.1 The rise in teenage anxiety and depression could be challenged by an action as simple as having the conversations described in this book.

WHY DO YOU THINK IT IS IMPORTANT FOR PARENTS TO HAVE CONVERSATIONS WITH GIRLS IN PARTICULAR?

One in ten girls aged between 14 and 17 years old are being referred for specialist mental health support. It appears that it is mostly girls who are affected, and this is now being referred to as a crisis on a worldwide scale. In the UK, NHS data on child and adolescent mental health has revealed significant differences between genders: “More than twothirds of antidepressants prescribed to teenagers are for girls.”2 Around 90% of children admitted to hospital for eating disorders are girls. Hospitalisations due to self-harm involving girls have quadrupled since 2005.3

Parenting is, without question, the hardest job we will ever do

The copywriter who proofread my book, Shari Last, has two young sons. She fed back to me that she felt so much of the book could also be used for boys, telling me how she used some of the tips I gave in the book when she was teaching her son to ride his bike. Many of the struggles we see in girls can be translated to boys, however, for me, Rise of the Girl had to come first. Some of the concerns we see in our teenage girls’ mental health is now being described as at a ‘crisis point’. We must come together to support our girls, guide them and show them how

to turn their passions into possibilities to become confident and kind young women.

IN THE BOOK, YOU HIGHLIGHT SEVEN COMMON ISSUES THAT ARE HOLDING GIRLS BACK FROM REACHING THEIR POTENTIAL. WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE BIGGEST ISSUE?

I think one of the most pressing issues is around good role modelling, particularly for our young girls, as children tend to mimic the beliefs and behaviours of their parents or caregivers. Positive role models can influence our actions at every stage and motivate us to strive to uncover our true potential.

Children benefit from hearing about our successes and our failures. It’s so useful for them to hear our journeys, especially all the stumbling blocks we conquered to get there. For our girls and young women of today, hearing about the challenges successful people face can build confidence and self-belief. The fifth conversation in the book, “She’s really awesome. I wish I could be more like her,” discusses how to help our girls find strong, positive role models.

LOOKING BACK TO YOUR OWN CHILDHOOD, DO YOU WISH YOUR PARENTS HAD THESE CONVERSATIONS WITH YOU? HOW DID THIS IMPACT YOUR CONVERSATIONS WITH YOUR OWN DAUGHTER?

When I was younger, I was passionate about sport. My father used to coach our local football team, so I grew up in a sporty household and enjoyed all kinds of sports. My father was great at reminding me that I could do anything I wanted. My parents instilled a good work ethic in me and encouraged me to do the things that gave me joy.

As a parent now, I want to do the same to encourage my daughter to follow her passions and do things that make her happy. I used to love hearing from my father and grandfather on how they started their businesses, I found it so interesting. Learning about someone else’s road to success can be so thought-provoking and inspirational. Who knew that self-belief, confidence and hard work would often hold the key to everything we want to achieve in our lives?

IF YOU COULD GIVE ONE PIECE OF ADVICE TO PARENTS OF GIRLS ON HOW TO PROPERLY CONNECT WITH AND EMPOWER THEM, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?

Your daughter may act like she doesn’t need you right now, but actually, she really needs you to be there – and to be an active listener. Not being listened to (at any age) can feel hurtful, and often listening to your daughter can be more important than her listening to you. So, if she isn’t really talking to you yet, don’t worry and try not to lecture her too much. Give her the space to talk and be ready to give her your time.

I often find the best moment to approach empowering conversations with my daughter is when I’m going for a drive or walking to the shops. I’ll ask her if she’d like to come with me and by offering that one-to-one time it allows an opportunity for us to talk openly together. Find the time to connect with her and do things together.

One of the most difficult parts of adulthood is that, even when your child does share, we can’t always solve every problem. As a parent, this is tough because we are hard-wired to protect our children and fix any problems. But we must remember that their challenges and mistakes will become part of their personal journey and selfgrowth. You may not have the answer to her issues, but by simply being there, listening and checking back in later, she will feel supported and less alwone. Be genuine, accepting, hold no judgement and be authentic, although I appreciate this is easier said than done. Parenting is, without question, the hardest job we will ever do.

Rise of the Girl: Seven Empowering Conversations to Have with your Daughter by Jo WimbleGroves, is published by DK Books and is available now from Amazon (https:// amzn.to/2Ykp2Cj) and other good bookstores. It can also be purchased on Audible and Kindle formats.

SOURCES

1. www.mentalhealth.org.uk/statistics/mentalhealth-statistics-stress

2. NHS Digital Data.13-17-year-olds 3. NHS Digital Data. 0-17-year-olds

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