San Francisco BayTimes - December 19, 2024

Photo by Chris Goodfellow

Ky J. Boyd, the visionary Director of Rialto Cinemas

World Tree of Hope 2024

Rainbow World Fund’s (RWF) annual World Tree of Hope Lighting Celebration was held on the evening of Monday, December 9, 2024, at Grace Cathedral. Thousands of folded paper cranes, each inscribed with a wish for the world, are used to decorate the tree that serves as a symbol of global unity.

Among the featured speakers and performers at the event were emcee Juanita MORE!; activist Cleve Jones; RWF founder Jeff Cotter; Takeshi Ishihara, Deputy Consul General of Japan; origami expert Linda Mihara; Rev. Malcolm Young; performers Tammy Lynne Hall, Leberta Lorál, the San Francisco Boys Chorus, and the Queer Chorus of San Francisco; members of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence; and more. http://www.rainboworldfund.org

About Our Cover

Neighborhood movie theaters often function like the family room of a community. The best ones have comfy seats, tasty snacks, good company, and quality entertainment whenever you want or need these things. Need takes on added importance during the holidays, when most other places are closed. A trip to the local movie theater on a holiday can brighten spirits for those of us who are single, away from home, and desire an activity for family members of all ages. The experience can serve as an icebreaker to take some of the pressure off of sometimes challenging relationships.

sharing a communal space. The bubble of privacy may break for hissing at a villain, gasping during surprising moments, cheering on victories, and erupting into applause at the end of a worthy film.

California: Rialto Cinemas. There are three theaters in the small chain: Sebastopol in Sonoma County, the Cerrito in El Cerrito, and the Elmwood in Berkeley. All three have their own distinctive charms and share the thoughtful touches of the visionary behind the scenes, Ky Boyd, who has run Rialto Cinemas since 2000, and for the last decade plus with his husband Michael O’Rand as CFO.

In October of this year, Rialto Cinemas Elmwood threw a birthday party to celebrate its 110th year as well as the 30th anniversary of its reopening after a fire in 1988 forced the theatre’s closure. Appropriately, the film Cinema Paradiso was shown. This classic from the year of the fire, 1988, centers around a deep love of films, movie theatres, and a passion for filmmaking.

Movie theaters can also provide a soul-satisfying antidote to isolation. They foster a refreshing form of connection that allows viewers a certain degree of privacy while also

These destinations are becoming treasured rarities. Since the earliest lockdowns of the COVID-19 pandemic, it has been estimated that at least 3,000 movie theaters nationwide permanently closed. Here in the Castro and at the San Francisco Bay Times, we are grateful that the Castro Theatre’s closure is temporary. The theatre is on track for a summer 2025 reopening. For updates, including a Bay Times feature concerning the ongoing renovations, visit: https://bit.ly/3OY6YEy

In this issue, the Bay Times highlights yet another gem of a business in Northern

The Elmwood, which Rialto Cinemas has operated since 2007, is a particular favorite of some members of our San Francisco Bay Times team. As for the Castro Theatre, the LGBTQ+ history of the space is palpable. (See if you experience that energy as well at Catch restaurant in the Castro, which originally was a movie theatre long before it became the home of the NAMES Project and then the restaurant.) The site of the Elmwood originally housed The Strand Theatre, which was built in the Art Nouveau style and opened its doors in 1914. Live performances often took place there, with entertainers frequently coming from the LGBTQ+ community.

On par with one of Cinema Paradiso’s lead characters, Salvatore Di Vita, we love everything about the Rialto Cinemas. Even the trailers are elegantly presented, with the management team providing a beautiful short video about the Native Americans who once worked the land that we now live on in the Bay Area. This video runs before each movie showing. We often run into Bay Times readers at the theatres, and hopefully will soon see you at them in the new year. Here’s to another 110 years of the Elmwood Theatre and many more years to come for Rialto Cinemas, the Castro Theatre, and all other cherished neighborhood movie theatres.

https://rialtocinemas.com/

Behind the Scenes at Rialto Cinemas With Director Ky J. Boyd

Ky J. Boyd and his husband Michael O’Rand, plus COO Roxanne Goodfellow and the rest of their hardworking team, are the magic makers behind the scenes at Rialto Cinemas. Boyd serves as the Director of the three-theater chain while O’Rand is the CFO. Recently Boyd, who owns and operates Rialto Cinemas Sebastopol, Cerrito (El Cerrito), and Elmwood (Berkeley), took time out of his hectic schedule for an interview with the San Francisco Bay Times San Francisco Bay Times: Please share some of your earliest memories of enjoying movies. What films from your formative years did you enjoy, for example, and was there a particular theater(s) that you frequented at that time? What do you remember most about it?

Ky J. Boyd: My first moviegoing experience was seeing Walt Disney’s The Aristocats at the Liberty Theatre in Great Falls, Montana, where I grew up. [That was] probably in 1970 or 1971 when I was about age 6. I was transfixed by the magic of the movies. Then, in kindergarten, we had a movie one day. I can’t tell you what the movie was, but I was fascinated by that movie projector in the back of the room, the reels going round, and the film moving through the projector making

magical images on the screen. I grew up on a steady diet of mainstream Hollywood films all through my youth because Great Falls didn’t have an arthouse cinema. Then, in my freshman year of college at the University of Montana in Missoula, Montana, I saw a movie that changed my life. It was Jean-Jacques Beineix’s film Diva. I had never seen a foreign language film before. Diva opened me up to a whole new world of cinema I had never known existed. The reason I’m an exhibitor today is because I wanted to bring movies like Diva, movies outside of mainstream Hollywood to audiences.

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Ky Boyd attending the reopening of the Elmwood Theater

The original Rialto Cinemas in Santa Rosa

Rialto Cinemas Elmwood in Berkeley

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San Francisco Bay Times: Did Rialto Cinemas begin with the Sebastopol Theater and is it your flagship location? How did you and your husband Michael O’Rand became involved in this business?

Ky J. Boyd: Rialto Cinemas began in Santa Rosa in 2000 when I achieved my lifelong dream of owning and operating my own movie theater. It was a failing 5-screen theater that we transformed into one of the top 50 arthouses in the country, and it was paradise for ten years and 8 months until our lease ran out.

We opened in Sebastopol in May of 2012 and have been thriving there ever since. In June of 2007 we acquired the Elmwood Theater and in July of 2009 we acquired the Cerrito Theater.

San Francisco Bay Times: All three of your theaters are such unique venues. What do you think makes each one special and distinctive?

needs hits to maintain its overhead. The Cerrito was our introduction to the world of food, beer, and wine, and it has proven quite successful and has influenced how we have developed both Sebastopol and the Elmwood. It is also, thanks to a gorgeous renovation/restoration, the most beautiful of our three locations.

San Francisco Bay Times: In the very good Healdsburg Tribune profile piece about you and Michael, you mention, “Running a theater is a relationship

choose that. It’s about how all the pieces fit together. I liken it to playing 3D chess.

San Francisco Bay Times: We strongly believe that local theaters such as yours are very important to neighborhoods, forming a welcoming community gathering space with experiences that are memorable yet affordable. Please share your thoughts about how local theaters such as yours benefit neighborhoods.

Ky J. Boyd: Sebastopol is the flagship. With 9 screens, it is the fullest realization of my vision of a theater that combines the best of Hollywood with a diverse array of independent, foreign, and specialty films. We may not have the most number of screens in Sonoma County, but every week we have the most diverse lineup of movies of any theater in Sonoma County because we don’t just put 5 screens of whatever the hit of the week is, which is how most multiplexes operate. I like to have a diverse selection of movies on screen because the tastes of the moviegoing audience are diverse. We don’t all like the same things, so why should movies be a monoculture?

The Elmwood is the truest arthouse of the three theaters and also frequently the most challenging to program. Being the last three first-run movie screens in Berkeley is quite a surprise to us. The Elmwood was always David to the twin Goliaths of Landmark Theaters (Shattuck, Cal, and Albany Twin) and the Regal, which operated the United Artists Berkeley 7 and was the largest theater chain in the country. So, to be the last man standing is a bit surreal. We made a choice with the Elmwood when the downtown theaters all closed not to cater solely to blockbuster mentality. That would have been the easy choice. But we decided to stay true to what works at the Elmwood and continue forging our own path with an eclectic mix of films as three screens allows us to present. The Cerrito, because it has a full kitchen and thus higher overhead, is the most straight-up commercial of our three theaters because it

business.” Elaborate a bit more about that, explaining what you mean, particularly in terms of what goes on from the business side of things.

Ky J. Boyd: In the movie business, I like to look at it as we have two sets of customers. The first is the moviegoing public because we have to show movies people want to come to see. The second set of customers is the film distribution community—the major studios and the independent distributors. Without them and the movies that they represent, we would have nothing to show and thus nothing to sell. So, there is a bit of a game to how booking the theaters works. The thing the movie business has taught me over 25 years is to be pragmatic.

Working with the studios and distributors is a relationship-based business. There are films that are important to me as a programmer that we show, but there are also films that are important to the studios and distributors that we show. So, if you want in on the smaller releases, you have to play the game. I could care less about comic book movies, but that is the IP (intellectual property) that currently drives Hollywood. So, we do play many of those movies at the Cerrito so that we can play other movies that appeal to us as programmers. Gladiator II is important to Paramount. September 5 and Better Man, both of which are also from Paramount, are films we want to show, so we play the game. It helps that Gladiator II is a gorgeous, wellmade movie that is going to get lots of recognition, especially in the design and technical categories during awards season. Booking films isn’t as easy as just choose this and then

Ky J. Boyd: There is a concept known as the

third place. The term was coined by Ray Oldenburg. The first place is your home. The second place is your place of work. Third places are places in the community where people come together to meet, socialize, and exchange ideas. Coffeeshops, restaurants, bookstores, and movie theaters are all third places.

One of the phrases I love is “changing the world through film.” That is something that I truly believe that we do. Movies have the power to transport the viewer out of their own thoughts and ideas, giving them experiences that impact them both emotionally and intellectually. Movies are part of our societal conversation. Theater such as the Elmwood are important gathering places in the neighborhood. We give people a reason to come out and visit the neighborhood. We draw people, not just from the immediate neighborhood, but from across Berkeley, Albany,

Oakland, and the surrounding area, which benefits many of the local businesses in our neighborhood.

San Francisco Bay Times: Many smaller theaters have closed or changed formats over recent years. Rialto is bucking that trend. What have been some of the keys to your success, and conversely, what are some of your biggest challenges now?

Ky J. Boyd: As I said earlier, when Elmwood became the only theatre in Berkeley, we made a strategic decision to stay true to our roots and bring in the kinds of movies that we believe are best for the theatre. We also, in all our locations, believe in the big screen experience. It doesn’t matter how big your TV at home is or how great your sound system is, the experience of seeing a movie in a movie theater cannot be replicated in the home environment. It’s that magical alchemy of a group of strangers gathering together in a darkened room to share a common emotional experience through which they become an audience. Comedies play better with an audience. Dramas are more impactful when shared with an audience. Thrillers are scarier with an audience. Unless you are inviting random strangers off the street into your home, the movie theater experience is unique to movie theaters and cannot be duplicated in the home environment.

Sure, we all have lots of access to movies now through too many streaming services to even remember. But home watchers tend to be more casual watchers. When you can pause and stop and pick the film up later (if you actually do), or interrupt to take phone calls or do laundry or whatever, you aren’t surrendering to the experience of being fully

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Ky Boyd (right) and Michael O’Rand

Rialto Cinemas Cerrito

Interior of the Rialto Cinemas Cerrito

Supporting Small Businesses in the Castro & Beyond

Humphry Slocombe

With the catchphrase, “I’m free!” the character Mr. Humphries on the longstanding British sitcom Are You Being Served? went into entertainment and queer history as being one of the first prominent and recognizable gay characters on television. The actor who played him, the late John Inman, was himself an out member of the LGBTQ+ community. Lines from the show still seem saucy today, such as when Mr. Humphries said, “I had just bent down to tighten my nuts, and there was a double yellow line, see? And next thing I knew, there was a policeman

behind me. He put a sticker on my helmet and tried to clamp me!”

Sauce, nuts, and Humphry(ies) of a different sort are all found at Humphry Slocombe ice cream shops around the Bay Area, with the Berkeley location being just a few doors down from the Rialto Cinemas Elmwood movie theater that is featured in this issue of the San Francisco Bay Times. (Mrs. Slocombe was another beloved character on the show. She was a great foil to Mr. Humphries, and her outrageous wigs seemed tailormade for a drag queen.)

Ice cream is already a decadent indulgence, but it takes on extra naughtiness with flavors at Humphry Slocombe such as the best-selling “Secret Breakfast.” Prepared with bourbon and house-made cornflake cookie mixins, it begs for covert spoonfuls after the morning gym visit or at any time of day. Other flavors featured as of this writing include Spiced Pear (a collaboration with St. George Spirits), Pink “Pepper” Mint (a collab with Olympic ice skater Kristi Yamaguchi’s Always Dream), Vietnamese

Coffee, Peanut Butter Fudge Ripple, Brown Butter Pecan, and more. The owners/founders Jake Godby and Sean Vahey, who both live in San Francisco, share that this “bizarre, delicious frozen universe” began in December 2008. They met at the now-shuttered Tartare restaurant in San Francisco that was started by award-winning celebrity chef George Morrone.

Vahey managed the restaurant, while Godby was its pastry chef.

Their creativity clearly shows through the unexpected collaborations and ice cream flavors, but their attention to quality ingredients also is evident. Their standard ice cream base consists of cream, nonfat milk, but-

termilk, egg yolks, and sugar, with no added preservatives or stabilizers that seem to be ubiquitous in many other ice creams.

Humphry Slocombe ice cream cakes make the perfect holiday meal finale, such as the limited-edition X-Mas Story and Double Stuff versions. The Double Stuff Ice Cream Cake that can serve up to 12 with the

The Supporting Small Businesses in the Castro & Beyond page is sponsored by Anne Sterling Dorman

9-inch size consists of a layer of Madagascar Vanilla Cake, a layer of Chocolate Ice Cream, and a layer of Mascarpone Cookies & Cream Ice Cream. The pièce de résistance is a topping of crumbled Oreo cookies.

Vegan flavors such as “Milk” and Cookies and Almond Joy are available and delicious too. High fructose corn syrup never touched the lips of “Humphry Slocombe,” and the ice creams are sodium-conscious as well.

Ice cream shops and movie theaters are a perfect match that can serve as welcoming destinations for affordable treats and moments of shear pleasure.

Members of our team have seen entire families do this, spilling out onto College Avenue with their scoops. For those of us who are single, the scene makes for diverting people-watching, especially with the UC Berkeley campus located nearby.

Humphry Slocombe 2948 College Avenue, Berkeley and at other locations throughout the Bay Area

https://humphryslocombe.com/

John Inman (1976) Are You Being Served

Owners/founders Jake Godby and Sean Vahey “Talks at Google”

Message from Leadership

By Nancy Geenen, MA Ed., JD

Dear GGBA Members, Sponsors, and Community Supporters,

As I pen this letter, I am filled with unwavering optimism and a deep commitment to our shared mission: to support and empower LGBTQIA2S+ entrepreneurs and business leaders in the San Francisco Bay Area. The Golden Gate Business Association (GGBA) stands at a pivotal moment that demands our most innovative, compassionate, and inclusive thinking.

Acknowledging Our Moment

The past six months have been a time of significant introspection. We experienced a “stop the line” moment—an unexpected pause that required us to examine our foundations, address underlying issues, and realign our trajectory. We hired a project management consultant who will aid us as we embark on a new year of service outlined in this piece. This is our opportunity for a strategic reset.

We want to hear from you; we are committed to recalibration; and we are taking deliberate steps to rebuild trust and strengthen our impact well into the future.

Letter From the President of GGBA

Why This Matters

We are keenly aware of the economic and political challenges facing our community. In this increasingly complex landscape, GGBA represents more than a business network. We are a lifeline of economic resilience for LGBTQAI2S+ entrepreneurs, workers, and families. Capital, both financial and social, is increasingly scarce. Our role in maintaining and growing economic resilience for our community is as critical now as it was 50 years ago.

A Commitment to Listening and Understanding

Within this context, our commitment to listen to understand becomes a tactical advantage. We recognize that the most transformative insights come from voices that have been historically marginalized or overlooked. By creating intentional spaces for these perspectives, we are not just gathering information— we are fundamentally recalibrating our organizational DNA.

Organizational Humility as a Strength

We openly acknowledge that organizations, like the individuals they serve, are complex, imperfect, and continuously evolving. By embracing this vulnerability at an organiza-

GGBA Member Spotlight

With over 18 years of work experience in Asia, Stella Lim has navigated her professional journey through countries such as Indonesia, Singapore, and Australia. Her strategic vision and deep understanding of complex EPC (Engineering, Procurement, and Construction) projects have consistently driven innovation and success in collaboration with multinational companies.

Lim’s unique blend of industry expertise and

tional level, we will create space for genuine transformation. Our board is committed to building a radically inclusive and responsive organization.

At our Annual Meeting in September, over 30% of our members voted to elect a slate of new leaders to the GGBA Board. Vital to our organization is the development of a pipeline of prospective board directors whose voices will shape our path forward. If you are interested in joining or nominating another individual for the board, please email us at Board@ggba.com

Strategic Renewal and Innovation

Over the next three years, we are embarking on a journey of strategic renewal, anchored by our unwavering commitment to collaboration and to service. Our comprehensive approach begins in the coming year with a deliberate focus on deep engagement, leveraging our core events (Make Contact, the Annual Meeting, the Holiday party, and other special gatherings) to engage with our members and sponsors. This isn’t a passive exercise. We are actively mapping our organizational knowledge, creating methodical approaches to capture insights, and ensuring every voice is heard and genuinely considered as we move forward to build a sustain-

able strategic plan.

In 2026, we are dedicating ourselves to an unprecedented initiative of genuine, multi-dimensional listening. This isn’t about conducting a simple survey. We will engage in meaningful conversations that capture the diverse experiences, challenges, and aspirations of our community.

Our goal is ambitious: 50 distinct touchpoints of engagement. These will range from impactful small group conversations to broad community engagement, ensuring we hear voices that have historically been marginalized or overlooked. Centering the voices of our members, our constituents (past and present), the broader business community, and our national partner NGLCC (The National LGBT Chamber of Commerce) and its affiliates, the board will ground a strategic plan within the collective experiences and wisdom gleaned through this discovery process.

Our roadmap extends through 2027, where we will begin implementing thoughtful, iterative approaches that allow us to test, learn, and adapt. In times of uncertainty, flexibility is key. If programs were successful in the

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Director, Impact Investor, and Associate Producer Stella Lim

hands-on leadership make her a strong force in the global marketplace. Now based in San Francisco, she is leading the charge at her company, expanding its global reach and making an even more significant impact on the international stage.

GGBA: You have many work roles, not to mention now serving as a Golden Gate Business Association (GGBA) board member. Please give us a brief snapshot of

your career up to this point.

Stella Lim: I was born in Indonesia and have spent over twenty years building businesses and working in dynamic places like Jakarta, Bali, and Singapore. Now, I’m back in San Francisco, juggling several roles. One is as the Director of AM Diversity Ventures, where we support and invest in underrepresented founders, especially women, and impactful projects.

On the creative side, I’m also an Associate Producer for the award-winning documentary Show Her the Money, which shines a light on the funding struggles that women entrepreneurs face. Plus, I’m co-producing a short film called This Blows, which is in post-production and will be hitting festivals in 2025.

GGBA: Why did you decide to launch AM Diversity Ventures?

Stella Lim: I’ve seen firsthand how much untapped potential there is among underrepresented founders, especially women. After years of working in different industries and

building businesses across Asia, I realized that creating opportunities and driving change is where my heart really is. I wanted to build something that supports innovative ideas and helps level the playing field for people who don’t always get a fair shot. For me, it’s about more than just investing—it’s about making a difference and fostering a more inclusive future.

GGBA: Who are some of your role models, and especially those who helped to influence your work?

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Stella Lim with her wife Beatrice and Dapper Boi Founders Vicky and Charisse Pasche

Stella Lim on the panel at HERstory: Celebrating Women in Business & Venture Capital, hosted by SVB Bank

Stella Lim

Yes, Giving Is Better Than Receiving; When It Comes to Money, That Is

Money Matters

Brandon Miller

Gift-giving activates key reward pathways in the brain, especially when giving to someone close to us, according to Emiliana SimonThomas, PhD, from the Greater Good Science Center. While both giving and receiving gifts can yield similar brain responses, giving often feels uniquely rewarding because it involves sacrifice and demonstrates care, making it truly special when done thoughtfully.

Studies show that spending money on others promotes happiness, triggering brain areas linked to social bonding and pleasure. This effect, often called the “warm glow,” is enhanced by oxytocin, the “cuddle hor-

mone,” which fosters trust and connection, making the joy of giving longer-lasting than the fleeting dopamine rush of receiving.

Lucky us, ’tis the season to spread some cheer! In 2022, charitable giving in the U.S. soared to an incredible $499 billion—more than the GDP of some countries! While donations dipped slightly post-pandemic, the spirit of giving remains strong, with individuals leading the charge.

Being generous is a gift not just for others, but also for yourself. Beyond the warm fuzzies of kindness, giving offers tangible rewards, from tax benefits to fostering connections. So, channel your inner Santa and the magical rewards of giving.

Embracing the joy of charitable giving can bring fulfillment, strengthen communities, and even add a little sparkle to your financial planning. Here’s why so many embrace the joy of giving:

Personal Connection: Your giving can support causes close to your heart. Love animals? Donate to a shelter. Know someone facing a health challenge? Support research efforts in their honor.

Building Community: Santa brings people together, and so can your donations. Whether helping a local food pantry or volunteering at a shelter, your efforts foster connections and create a stronger, more caring

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Estate Planning Resolutions for 2025

Trust Essentials

Jay Greene, Esq., CPA

The start of the year is the perfect time to reflect on your estate planning goals and make resolutions that will ensure your financial and personal affairs are set for 2025. Whether you’re revisiting an existing plan or starting fresh, setting clear estate planning resolutions will make sure you achieve your goal of having peace of mind. Here are some key resolutions to consider as you prepare for the year ahead.

1. Update your estate plan to reflect life changes.

One of the most important estate planning resolutions for 2025 is to ensure your plan accurately reflects any major life changes from the past year. Consider the following:

Marriage or Divorce: If you’ve gotten

married or divorced, it’s essential to update your will, trusts, beneficiary designations, and power of attorney to reflect these changes.

Birth or Adoption of a Child: If your family has grown, update your estate plan to include provisions for your new child, such as naming a guardian and updating beneficiary designations.

Death of a Loved One: If a beneficiary or executor named in your estate plan has passed away, make the necessary changes to ensure your plan is up to date. You might consider if your agents are still able to act as power of attorney or health care agent due to their age or disability.

2. Reassess your financial situation.

The start of a new year is an ideal time to review your financial situation and adjust your estate plan accordingly. Here’s what to consider:

Asset Valuation: Reassess the value of your assets, including real estate, investments, and personal property. If your financial situation has changed significantly, you may need to revise your estate plan to account for these changes.

Debt Management: Evaluate your current debts and how they might impact your estate and long-term care costs. Consider strategies to reduce or eliminate debt to maximize the assets that will be passed on to your beneficiaries.

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Channeling Molly Ivins

In Case You Missed It

As we careen past election season (sorry, still some PTSD there), through the holidays (joyfully and defiantly counting those blessings and rights that still exist), and headlong into the New Year (fasten your seatbelts), let’s take a moment to contemplate with some amount of awe the sheer audacity of those ever-reliable purveyors of ridiculously hateful legislation, the Texas State Legislature.

In their eagerness to claim bragging rights as being in the most anti-trans state in the union, Republican legislators pre-filed a whopping 32 anti-trans bills on the very first day of the new legislative session’s pre-filing period. It must have taken some serious effort to come up with 32 different ways to make trans Texans feel unwelcome and unsafe in their own state. You have to wonder what other horrors they will come up with during the rest of the session.

It is efforts like these that make me miss the late great Texas reporter and columnist Molly Ivins, who regularly skewered the Texas Lege, and whose keen reportage and wickedly caustic wit made it possible to get through the Bush years.

But seriously, the ACLU runs a fascinating/

frightening/infuriating/enlightening page on their website where they track all the antiLGBTQ+ bills proposed during the current legislative session. As of this writing, they were tracking 574 anti-LGBTQ+ bills in 42 state legislatures. (That’s right; there were eight states, including California and, surprisingly, Arkansas, where no anti-LGBTQ+ bills were proposed during the 2024 session.)

These are 574 bills whose sole purpose is to demonize, stigmatize, and make life harder for LGBTQ+ citizens, and trans people, in particular. They lean heavily toward regulating bathroom use, outlawing drag performances, banning books from schools and libraries, prohibiting trans athletes from competing in sports against cisgender athletes, and denying gender-affirming care to trans youth. And since that isn’t enough, they are also working hard at making it practically impossible to update legal documents to match one’s gender identity.

While many of these bills are clearly unconstitutional and will either never be signed into law or will be challenged in lengthy court battles, the very fact that they are being proposed, and that state legislatures are so heavily invested in these hateful and ridiculous laws when they could be doing something, oh, I don’t know—useful?—brings harm to LGBTQ+ people everywhere. And, in the even bigger picture, by diminishing the rights of the LGBTQ+ population, they are damaging the very nature of our country. Equal protection under the law? Not really.

The hysteria over trans athletes became a major story right here in the Bay Area these past few months, as several teams in the

Mountain West Conference forfeited games against the San Jose State University (SJSU) women’s volleyball team, rather than compete against a trans woman on the Spartans’ team. The three-ring circus kicked off in September when the team’s co-captain joined a lawsuit against the NCAA, claiming that the NCAA’s rule allowing transgender players to play women’s sports created an unfair advantage, and would be potentially dangerous to other players—despite absolutely no proof to support that claim. That led to opposing teams forfeiting seven games against SJSU. Boise State even forfeited a game against them in the conference semifinal tournament, thanks to political pressure from conservative politicians and donors. There are approximately 520,000 NCAA athletes, of which maybe 30–40 identify as trans, according to Athlete Ally, a nonprofit LGBTQ+ athletic advocacy group. Even fewer trans athletes go on to compete at the professional level. The full weight of 42 state legislatures, and, soon, the U.S. government, is being brought to bear on this very small group of people who are simply trying to compete in sports like any other athlete. This trend threatens to become even worse during the upcoming administration. To follow the status of these bills, or to support the vital work the ACLU is doing to fight them: https://tinyurl.com/ACLUtrack

Solidarity in the Streets

The Women’s March in Washington, D.C., has evolved into the People’s March, billed as a feminist-led march on January 18, 2025. While their website promises affiliated marches everywhere, I haven’t been able to find any signs of a march that day in San Francisco, or even in the Bay Area. For more info on the Women’s March: https://www.womensmarch.com/

For those who do want to hit the local streets in January, mark your calendar for Monday, January 20, 2025, for the 14th Annual Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Day Commemorations, organized by the San Francisco Interfaith Council. Each year, they lead a march from the Caltrain Depot at 4th and Townsend streets in San Francisco to Yerba Buena Gardens. While organized and led by the faith community, everyone is welcome to join the march and the program at Yerba Buena Gardens. This is an inspiring and empowering event each year, and I suspect it will carry even more impact this year. The march will begin promptly at 11 am at the Caltrain Depot, and organizers suggest getting there early.

That’s it for now, folks. See you in the streets. Joanie Juster is a long-time community volunteer, activist, and ally.

Castro Night Markets

Holiday Edition

Friday, December 20, 5-10pm, 18th & Castro

2025 Dates: March 21, May 16, July 18, September 19

The Castro Night Markets, which began in October 2024, is a series of recurring public events featuring local food vendors, merchants, and live entertainment on the 3rd Friday of select months. The event is free and open to the public, and is a non-alcoholic event.

Vendor Information: castronightmarket@cgevents.com

Queen-owned and Castro-based businesses have priority to be included among the various types of vendors: food, retail, non-profit information, community engagement and more.

Joanie Juster

Molly Ivins with Ann Richards

Molly Ivins and friends in the documentary Raise Hell

Molly Ivins in the newsroom at the Dallas Times Herald

These Are the Days to Stand Up for Trans Rights

6/26 and Beyond

Stuart Gaffney and John Lewis

In the groundbreaking 1970s TV sitcom All in the Family’s iconic opening theme song “Those Were the Days,” lead characters Archie Bunker and his wife Edith satirically yearn (often comically out of tune) for a mythical earlier time when, among other things, “you knew who you were” and “girls were girls, and men were men.” Over half a century later, our nation still struggles to free itself from the strictures of such a rigidly confining gender binary and to create a society in which individuals, especially LGBTIQ+ people,

can truly discover, live, and be embraced for “who we are.”

Nowhere was that struggle more evident than at the U.S. Supreme Court’s December 4, 2024, oral argument in U.S. v. Skrmetti, a case in which courageous queer youth, their parents, a supportive physician, and the U.S. government are challenging a Tennessee law, known as SB1, which categorically bans all transgender and gender nonconforming minors from receiving life-saving gender-affirming medical care.

Strikingly, both Justices Kagan and Barrett characterized SB1 as wanting “girls to be girls, and boys to be boys,” mirroring nearly verbatim the lyrics of “Those Were the Days,” whose longing for a supposed earlier era that, in fact, never actually existed eerily presaged Donald Trump’s “Make America Great Again” crusade of which anti-trans laws such as SB1 are part and parcel.

The two Justices described SB1 this way because the statute on its face seeks to impose a rigid gender binary on all youth in Tennessee regardless of their individual circumstances. SB1 absurdly declares that Tennessee has a “compelling interest in encouraging minors to appreciate their sex,” meaning, in Tennessee’s eyes, the sex they were assigned at birth, and not their authentic experience of their sex. As such, the law under its contorted logic out-

laws any procedures “that might encourage minors to become disdainful of their sex.”

It’s shocking enough that Tennessee believes in dictating what its citizens should or should not be disdainful of. If anything, they should be “disdainful” of SB1 itself because the statute’s framing of its purpose completely misunderstands and/or mischaracterizes the context for gender-affirming medical care. Trans youth in need of care do not have “disdain” for their sex assigned at birth. They experience severe mental, emotional, and/or physical suffering because their true gender identity does not conform to it.

Justice Sotomayor reminded the Court at oral argument that “some children suffer incredibly with gender dysphoria,” including suicidal ideation, drug addiction, and physical illness. She described how one of the youths who brought the lawsuit was “throwing up every day, going almost mute … because of their inability to speak in a voice that they could live with.”

And SB1 is nonsensical when it implies that gender-affirming care causes youth to become “disdainful” of their sex. These medically necessary treatments prescribed in consultation with specialized physicians and parents or guardians do no such thing. U.S. Solicitor General Elizabeth Prelogar in her closing argument explained how the youth about whom Justice Sotomayor spoke says the medications he received “saved his life” and that “his parents say he’s now thriving.”

It was very disappointing to see that Justice Kavanaugh and some of the other members of the Court’s arch conservative (continued on page 11)

YOUTUBE SCREEN SHOT/BETTY L. SULLIVAN

(continued from page 10)

Republican supermajority seemed to have bought into Tennessee’s specious argument, based on irrelevant and outdated studies, that the risk to youth who may later regret they chose to have gender-affirming care was as high or higher than the benefit that trans youth receive from such care. The ACLU’s Chase Strangio representing trans youth decimated Tennessee’s claim by pointing to evidence before the Court that that rate of regret is, in fact, “as low as 1 percent.”

The outcome of this case should be simple and straightforward. SB1 represents blatantly unconstitutional purposeful discrimination against vulnerable transgender youth. The Court should easily recognize that transgender people are a discreet minority group that has unquestionably suffered horrific discrimination and are unable on their own to protect themselves through the legislative process. Justice Sotomayor observed pointedly at oral argument that “when you’re 1 percent of the population or less, [it’s] very hard to see how the democratic process is going to protect you.”

Trans minors are, in fact, an even smaller percentage of the population who particularly lack political power because, as teens, they cannot even vote.

The sudden slew of hundreds of anti-trans bills introduced in Republican-controlled state legislatures over the past few years is proof positive of the hostile social, political,

and legal environment that trans people face today. Under well-established constitutional doctrine, laws that target such marginalized groups must be subjected to rigorous, heightened judicial scrutiny, which SB1 with its explicit discriminatory purpose and effect cannot survive.

But, unfortunately, the current Court’s conservative supermajority has shown no interest in recognizing transgender people as a group entitled to heightened constitutional protections. Because of this, the oral argument focused on whether SB1 constituted sex discrimination. That too is a clear basis for invalidating SB1. In the Court’s 2020 landmark Bostock decision, holding that employment discrimination against LGBTIQ+ people is unlawful sex discrimination, Justice Gorsuch writing for the Court stated: “[I]t is impossible to discriminate against a person for being homosexual or transgender without dis-

criminating against that individual based on sex.”

The same logic applies here, and long-standing precedent holds that government’s differential treatment of a person based on sex is unconstitutional unless the government can provide an “exceedingly persuasive justification” for it.

SB1’s categorical ban on all gender-affirming care for trans youth, which Solicitor General Prelogar described as “a stark departure from the State’s regulation of pediatric care in all other contexts,” can’t even come close to meeting that burden.

No one can know for sure the outcome of a case based on oral argument, although most Court observers believe the Court is poised to uphold SB1. Some speculate that Gorsuch, who wrote Bostock but oddly didn’t ask even a single question at oral argument

in this case, and Barrett could conceivably join the three Democratic-appointed Justices and prevent the Court from upholding the law.

One thing we do know is that the Supreme Court and the nation as a whole need an education—indeed a crash course—on the reality of trans lives. The Court received part of that education in early December by the very presence of ACLU’s Chase Strangio, who became the first transgender person ever to argue before the Court.

We know that we will ultimately prevail in the struggle for trans dignity and equality because our community in the face of tremendous adversity has always stood strong, told our stories, and revealed the truth of our lives to make the world a better place. Some day—we don’t know when nor how much needless suffering will take place before then—we’ll look back and say, “Those were the days,” not in a nostalgic way, but in an empowering one as the time we truly stood up for trans people.

John Lewis and Stuart Gaffney, together for over three decades, were plaintiffs in the California case for equal marriage rights decided by the California Supreme Court in 2008. Their leadership in the grassroots organization Marriage Equality USA contributed in 2015 to making samesex marriage legal nationwide.

So Divine IN MEMORIAM

Leave Signs

On the topic of lesbian artists/change makers I’ve known, Fortune has graced me with a wildly diverse list. Celebrating their passage is an enriching privilege that we can all share.

Nikki Giovanni

One of the first writers I met when I moved to New York City in 1971 was Nikki Giovanni (1943–2024), who was originally from Tennessee. A mutual friend introduced us because Nikki was looking for a babysitter for her son. She was already a voice for the Civil Rights and Black Power Movements, reading poetry on the TV show Soul and on programs with Black revolutionary writers like Amiri Baraka and Sonia Sanchez.

When I’d arrive at her high-rise apartment, there’d be no time for chatting; she was always rushing. But my impression: this is one of the most dynamic balls of energy I’ve ever met. She was petite, moved briskly, and had a musical voice whether she was reading her poems, delivering a college lecture, or asking me to stay later than we’d agreed. On her way out, she’d often toss me a book she received, asking if I’d read it. And, once alone, I’d read intently as if she were going to test me when she got home. She wasn’t. She just liked to share the good word because she was a preacher for liberation.

With her rhythmic, lyrical delivery of her work, Nikki was hip hop before it had a name. She used her gifts to call the Black community and women to attention, reminding us of what the dominant culture wanted us to forget: we are purposeful and strong. Even her children’s books were equally clarion calls to embrace personal strength. Being

at her readings was like attending a concert or Baptist church—the cheers and amens overshadowed anything elicited by Taylor Swift. A line from one of her paeans to Black women, “Ego Tripping,” has stayed with me for more than 40 years and works really well to redirect rage engendered by disasters like bad election results. I believe most lesbian/ feminist artists are trying to give us personal mantras like this to help us survive and thrive: “I am so perfect so divine so ethereal so surreal/I cannot be comprehended except by my permission ... .”

Cathy Cade

Cathy Cade’s (1942–2024) mantra is evidenced in the introduction to her now classic book A Lesbian Photo Album: The Lives of Seven Lesbian Feminists. She acknowledges that the process of creating the book, published in 1987, stalled until she felt strong enough to do the necessary outreach so the book wasn’t all white women.

Mary Wings

The importance of the word “strong” echoes the messages in Nikki Giovanni’s poems. Embracing our strength will help us do, not the easy thing, but the right thing. When I met Cathy in the early 1990s, I thanked her for thinking about the strength it takes for women to change things—from political institutions to social mindsets. The snapshots that Cathy assembled of a lesbian world were like a vitamin boost to me and other “Baby Boomer” lesbians whose lives were characterized by invisibility. A photo of an African American lesbian dancing with her two cats, of a white lesbian proud of her baseball mitt, of a fat bare-breasted lesbian with a seductive smile, were what brought us each into focus for ourselves.

Cathy’s strength served her well over the decades of her activist/photography career beginning in the 1970s after working with the Student Non-Violent Coordinating Committee as part of the Civil Rights Movement in the South. She and JEB (Joan E. Biren) were the primary lesbian photographers documenting the political activism of the 1970s and ‘80s, and fortunately both of them were unrelenting in their ability to document what lesbians were doing with our lives.

Cathy, born in Hawai’i, and the mother of two sons, had a lifelong engagement with social activism including her involvement with Old Lesbians Organizing for Change here in the Bay Area. Her focus on the ordinary lives of lesbian feminists as artists, parents, and activists was a perennial celebration—as was she, as she was upbeat, energetic, and always with an idea for a new project. Her work is collected at the University of California, Berkeley, Library where we can be reminded of what a nascent revolution looks like.

Another voice of our community, novelist and cartoonist Mary Wings (1949–2024), surprised me with a call, soon after I moved to the Bay Area in 1993, to invite me to have coffee. An avid reader of mysteries, I loved her series featuring lesbian detective Emma Victor (along with Randye Lordon’s Sydney Sloan series), so I tried not to fan girl as I sat down to my first coffee date in San Francisco. Once seated with our lattes, Mary told me she was writing a new Emma Victor mystery and one of the suspects in the murder case was ... kind of based on me! She referenced a public fundraising event I’d done; she had me and my chiropractor partner painted perfectly down to the snappy little two-seater convertible I drove.

life; her hair was flaming red/orange and she was a poster child for BDSM before most folks knew what the initials stood for.

At that time, Dorothy was mostly writing poetry. Once we each overcame our mutual fear of what the other symbolized, we became fast friends; as close as two high femme peas in a pod. We exchanged our writing as if we’d known and trusted each other all our lives. Her feedback helped shape my recent play about James Baldwin. But, thank goodness, we didn’t always listen to each other, or her first collection of poetry, The Women Who Hate Me, would have had a really sappy title.

I was honored and not surprised at how precise She Came by the Book was. Mary, originally from Chicago, had an uncanny way of seeing around the corner of how people presented themselves. She also possessed a wicked sense of humor, an irreverent relationship to rules, and an eclectic collection of interests from publishing the first lesbian comic book to playing the banjo and accordion. When I attended Mary’s memorial/block party, it was clear that her neighbors loved how she embraced all things quirky. In elegant script above the front door of her house was written, “This House Protects the Dreamer,’ a quote each of us might benefit from seeing every time we come home.

Dorothy Allison

In 1981, before moving to the Bay Area I was invited along with several other writers, to join the Conditions magazine collective. The first meeting for newbies was held in the Brooklyn flat of Dorothy Allison (1949–2024). Crossing into the living room I passed through a clanking curtain of chain links and thought, “This is going to be some meeting!” I was sitting in the living room of a white southerner for the first time in my Yankee

Born in South Carolina, Dorothy lived in Florida for several years before moving to New York City where she worked a number of blue-collar jobs, helped found the Lesbian Sex Mafia, and developed a strong class analysis along with her feminism. We were both published by the lesbian, feminist press Firebrand Books in our early years, which deepened our bond that endured as we both crossed the country to live in the Bay Area. Here she settled down to marry her girlfriend and raise their son. Reading her largely autobiographical novel, Bastard Out of Carolina, clarifies what strength Dorothy used to overcome her past and find joy, The book is a searing tale of a young girl’s sexual and emotional abuse in a poor, white, southern family. It’s also about triumph, which made it the cornerstone of the movement to support women and girls who’ve been victimized. Dorothy’s book was the seed out of which the MeToo Movement and the rallying cry “Believe Women” grew.

As we start to pass on, it is valuable to remember that Baby Boomers were the generation that brought social change movements to campuses and factories, to the Pentagon, to wives’ kitchens, children’s daycare centers, and to the streets. Each of these lesbian artists/activists has left an amazing legacy that offers signposts to change for the next generations. It’s hard for me to imagine this planet without these warrior artists. But as long as their work is available to read, to see, discuss, and teach, these divine women are never lost to us.

Jewelle Gomez is a lesbian/feminist activist, novelist, poet, and playwright. She’s written for “The Advocate,” “Ms. Magazine,” “Black Scholar,” “The San Francisco Chronicle,” “The New York Times,” and “The Village Voice.” Follow her on Instagram and Twitter @VampyreVamp

Jewelle Gomez

Nikki Giovanni

Cathy Cade

Mary Wings

Dorothy Allison

Jewelle Gomez with Dorothy Allison (1986)

(2008)

IN MEMORIAM

Robert Dean Dockendorff (March 23,1939–December 9, 2024):

‘An Unsung Hero Whose Generosity Knew No Bounds’

Bob Dockendorff, 85, a longtime San Francisco gay activist and major donor to numerous community organizations and political candidates, died on December 9, 2024. He had been enduring the debilitating effects of COPD for several years and passed away peacefully in his sleep.

Bob was born in Burlington, Iowa, in 1939. His family worked a large farm that had been established by his immigrant great grandfather in the mid-19th century. On his death, Bob was still the co-owner of the farm with his sister Linda Johnson.

Bob was active in high school sports, playing on his school’s football team.

He attended the University of Iowa, where he earned a degree in sociology. In 1964, he entered the United States Navy’s Officers Training School.

Bob first arrived in San Francisco in 1965 as

a Navy officer overseeing the reactivation of a naval vessel for deployment to the war in Vietnam. He subsequently spent three years in the war zone. Memories of the horrific carnage he witnessed remained vivid throughout his life and influenced his progressive politics.

In 1968, he left active duty in the Navy and made the Bay Area his permanent home. He joined the Naval Reserves, where he served as a “weekend warrior” for 21 years. He found employment with the Pacific Maritime Association in San Francisco, rising to become Vice President of Communications and Research. He worked there until his retirement 33 years later.

He quickly immersed himself in the burgeoning gay community of the 1970s. He joined the board of the Cable Car Awards, serving on the committee that produced its wildly popular annual awards event. He became a member of the board of Operation Concern, the outpatient mental health agency that was created by the Tavern Guild in 1972 to serve the LGBTQ community.

As the gay community was building its politi-

By Tim Wolfred

cal power base in the 70s and 80s, Bob was active in volunteering in campaigns and donating to candidates. He loved recounting how, after Harvey Milk was elected to the Board of Supervisors, he would time his trip home from work to connect with Harvey on the Castro-bound bus route they shared. They talked politics, of course, and Bob came to admire and emulate Harvey’s style of “pragmatic progressivism.”

For the successful 1987 Art Agnos mayoral campaign, Bob produced a constituent’s guide to city government that Art would distribute as a statement of his working knowl-

edge of the mechanics of government. He frequently hosted campaign fundraisers in his Diamond Heights home, including several for Representative/Speaker Emerita Nancy Pelosi.

His political home base was the Harvey Milk Lesbian and Gay Democratic Club. He won

(continued on page 14)

Bob Dockendorff with Chasten and Pete Buttigieg

Bob Dockendorff (right) with Tom Taylor at Light in the Grove (2015)

Bob Dockendorff

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2024 Castro Menorah Lighting Ceremony

The Castro Menorah Lighting Ceremony for 2024 took place on December 16 at Jane Warner Memorial Plaza. This always fun family event includes music, singing, dancing, and jelly donuts (sufganiyot). The chilly weather at this time of year makes the warm company and those donuts all the sweeter.

Attendees got to spin a giant dreidel and light their own chanukiah along with the organizers’ jumbo menorah. The event was hosted by Congregation Sha’ar Zahav, the Castro Merchants Association, and the Castro Community Benefit District.

Hanukkah takes place this year starting at sundown on December 25 and ending on January 2, 2025. In addition to the Castro Menorah Lighting Ceremony, other favorite Hanukkahtime events of members of our San Francisco Bay Times team include Kung Pao Kosher Comedy, produced by comedian Lisa Geduldig, and the block parties at Saul’s Deli in Berkeley where some of the Bay Area’s best latkes are served.

(continued from pg 13)

the presidency of the Club in 1990. He was acknowledged as a highly organized and effective leader for the Club, improving its infrastructure, integrity and diversity; during his tenure its first Black Caucus was formed. He also joined the board of the Alice B. Toklas Democratic Club.

He served as a Commissioner on the San Francisco Ethics Commission from 1995 to 2000. For several years, he was President of the Diamond Heights Neighborhood Association.

Bob helped organize and lead the national effort advocating for the repeal of the 1993 Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell act. He was proud to be present when President Obama signed the legislation that repealed it in 2010.

Bob was all about serving his community and improving the world around him, all without

seeking acclaim or personal advantage. As one admirer framed it, he was an unsung hero whose generosity knew no bounds. He was an early techie, keeping up on technological advances on many fronts. For decades, he attended an annual convention of tech developers in Las Vegas. That passion seems to have run in his family. Just earlier this year, Bob “lightly edited and organized” and published his grandfather’s diary. In it, his grandfather in Iowa had tracked the technological advances of his time—As It Was: How Life Changed 1888 to 1915 with Changes in Communication and Transportation The book is available on Amazon.

Fortunately, much of Bob’s life is documented in an interview he did with David Weissman in 2015 for David’s educational and poignant documentary Conversations with Gay Elders ( https://bit.ly/3BwGU0e ). It

includes Bob speaking at length on how he handled the demoralizing bias and discrimination that LGBTQ folks had to negotiate around in mid-20th century America.

Bob would want acknowledged two people especially important to him later in life: Byron McQuarters Norris, his roommate for 31 years, and Joey Jones, his extraordinarily talented caregiver for the last six years of his life.

Bob is survived by his sister, Linda Johnson, and two nieces. He will be buried in a cemetery plot near his parents in Burlington, Iowa. His executor and close friends will be planning a memorial service to occur sometime in the new year.

Tim Wolfred is a consultant who conducts executive search and succession planning services for nonprofit organizations.

WOLFRED

GLBT 2024 News Quiz

Another year has come to an end, and what a year it was. My friends, I can’t imagine what lies ahead of us now. I can only hope that whatever comes our way is far better than our dire imaginings. Second, I hope for the unexpected. I hope for positive developments that we can’t foresee: breakthroughs, heroes, and champions. All I know is that it serves no purpose to sit around as the year ends anticipating the worst, and in my experience, we rarely anticipate what actually happens. Let’s just deal with the future as it plays out.

Meanwhile, tradition requires us to tackle the annual End of Year Quiz, a rear mirror glimpse of our colorful community comings and goings as reflected in this column. Am I the only one who is suddenly struck by the fact that we are already a quarter of the way through the 21st Century? How did that happen? Good luck!

Question One: Which of these female subjects is NOT associated with the conservative “Moms for Liberty?”

a) She proudly posed for pictures at a rally with the Proud Boys.

b) She was arrested for stealing roughly $725 in merchandise from Target’s self check-out over the course of seven trips.

c) She called her transgender daughter: “the bitch that killed my son.”

d) She (accidentally) used a quote from Hitler in the group newsletter.

e) She and her husband had a three-way, and the husband—who was head of the state GOP— went back by himself and (allegedly) raped the other woman.

Question Two: Evangeline Simpson Whipple was:

a) a prospective juror in a lesbian discrimination case who, in a controversial move, was dismissed for “cause” due to her religious beliefs.

b) an elderly citizen of Knutsford, England, who nursed what she believed was an injured hedgehog until the humane society informed her it was the bobblehead of a ski cap.

c) the lesbian lover of Rose Cleveland, who was First Lady during her brother Grover’s first year in office.

d) the lead plaintiff in a lawsuit that pit drag performers against the state of Texas.

Question Three: Which of these creatures from our columns are gay?

a) the aggressive whales off the coast of Maui

b) the elephant that ran over a woman in East Rutherford, New Jersey

c) the seagulls on the island off the coast of Southern California

d) the funnel-web spiders cruising for sex in the Outback

d) the mouse that lives in a workshop in Wales

e) the rose-breasted grosbeak in the Pennsylvania Powdermill Nature Reserve

Question Four: What was the Supreme Court up to this year? True or False:

a) The justices decided to review whether or not Tennessee’s law against transgender youth healthcare violates the Equal Protection Clause, hearing arguments in the case in

By Ann Rostow

early December.

b) The justices decided to block the Department of Education’s 400-plus-page set of regulations for Title IX’s ban on sex discrimination in public schools and colleges, effectively overruling the Biden Administration on a major issue of public policy while a conservative lawsuit winds its way through the lower courts.

c) The justices agreed to hear the workplace sexual orientation discrimination case of a straight woman who claims she lost a promotion because she was not gay.

d) The justices decided to punt the case brought by Indiana parents who object to school district policies that protect the privacy of questioning students.

Question Five: Time flies. When was it ... 2022, 2023, or 2024?

a) A German plastic surgeon accidentally killed his lover with an overdose by putting coke on his penis before oral sex.

b) A 24-year-old Taiwanese lesbian paid men to abduct her girlfriend and drive her to get married as a surprise prank.

c) An Iowa woman repeatedly stabbed her transgender lover, put her dead body in a car and drove at speeds exceeding 100 mph down an interstate in Minnesota.

d) An Indian man introduced a two-foot live eel into his abdominal cavity via the back door, along with a lime.

e) A Japanese man spent $16,000 on a realistic collie suit, and posted videos of himself being walked on a leash and eating kibble out of a dog bowl.

f) A thirty-something man died with a ping pong ball in his ass after being electrocuted while pleasuring himself.

Question Six: Who did what? Match the following men to the antics below: Kevin Roberts, Paul Pressler, Franz Marcus Stadelmann, Michael Voris, Harrison Butker, Kitara Rivache.

a) He is an NFL kicker who told the women in a university graduating class that being a wife and mother should be their ultimate goals.

b) He is an arch Catholic antigay YouTube star who was caught sending shirtless selfies from the gym to other guys.

c) He is the alter ego of disgraced Congressmember George Santos.

d) He is one of the architects of Project 2025 who allegedly killed his neighbor’s dog, Loca, with a shovel back in the day because she barked too much.

e) He is a (once) respected leader of the Southern Baptist Church who was accused of sexual abuse.

f) He is the founder of the first ever gay yodeling club.

Question Seven: One Million Moms objected to ads by KFC, Keebler, Bounce Dryer Sheets and Mountain Dew. Why?

a) They all used wordplay that suggested naughty expressions.

b) They all introduced special promotions for Pride Month.

c) Their non-human avatars were based on Satanic pagan characters.

d) They embedded rainbow colors and/or triangle symbols as a secret sign to the gay community.

Question Eight: Which of these politically correct scenarios is the most absurd?

a) California enacted a law that requires non-binary toy aisles in large retail stores.

b) A university conference presented notions of “queer food,” which exemplify our community spirit.

c) An activist called Massachusetts Congressman Seth Moulton a “Nazi cooperator” for writing that he does not want his daughters to play sports against boys.

d) A transgender woman is continuing to sue Colorado baker Jack Phillips years after the Supreme Court’s Masterpiece Cakeshop opinion and after the state of Colorado has already settled the dispute over the fact that Phillips refused to make her a special transition cake.

Question Nine: Which of the following 2024 GLBT victories did NOT come from the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit?

a) The court ruled that a teenaged transgender girl could not be barred from playing sports with the other girls in middle school.

b) The court ruled that parents in Maryland could not halt their school’s reading program while they challenged it in court.

c) The court ruled that North Carolina could not block transgender employees from full use of the state health insurance program.

d) The court ruled that West Virginia could not limit transgender surgery for adults under Medicaid.

Question Ten: In 2025, would you rather

a) see Kimberly Guilfoyle write a “tell all” autobiography, or see Usha Vance leave her husband?

b) be in perfect health but feel exhausted all the time, or have manageable cancer but feel great?

c) see Pete Hegseth confirmed as the Secretary of Defense, or Robert Kennedy confirmed as Secretary of HHS?

d) be in love but broke, or be financially secure but not that into your partner?

e) see the U.S. economy continue to thrive, or have it go into a recession?

f) get a job you absolutely love with a low salary, or get a tough position with spectacular compensation in a beautiful location?

g) walk into a party with unlimited champagne, beluga caviar, and cocaine, or sit down to dinner at a three-star Michelin restaurant with four Nobel Prize winners?

Answer One: c) This is actually Mary Cox from Indiana who unsuccessfully sued to regain custody of her transgender teen daughter who was removed from the home by Child Protective Services. The others, indeed, are leading lights at Moms for Liberty. Another one held a boozy bash for minor children to celebrate her child’s birthday, but that didn’t sound so bad to me. Hey, the kids were in their late teens. They were all right.

Answer Two: c) The two women met in 1889, after President Cleveland had married, and had a passionate affair until Evangeline married a bishop in 1896. A decade or so later, after the bishop had died, Rose (then in her late 60s) wrote Evangeline: “I need you and life is not long enough to always wait.” The two women wound up living

together in Tuscany, where Rose died of the Spanish Flu in 1918 at age 72. Evangeline, who was younger than Rose, died in London in 1930.

Answer Three: The gay animals are a) and c). The frisky whales may have injured some of their less interested playmates, while the lesbian seagulls near Santa Barbara were being studied under a federal grant that came under disapproving scrutiny in the 1970s. The elephant was a mechanical “Dream Rider” at the mall, driven by an out of control eight-year-old, the funnel-web spiders were cruising for heterosexual sex, and the mouse came out at night to tidy up the owner’s desk. As for the grosbeak, it was a rare intersexed “gynandromorphic” specimen, with yellow female feathers on one side and red male feathers on the other. Ironically, the intersexed grosbeak was greeted with awe and excitement by the staff at Powdermill. Intersexed grosbeaks? We love them! Intersexed humans? Not so much.

Answer Four: All four of these statements are true. a) The conservatives seemed likely to uphold Tennessee’s anti-trans law, as well as many other red state versions of the same, leaving young transgender kids and teens with no recourse for treatment. b) The Biden Department of Education policies are about to become moot. c) The straight case is a vehicle to ask when and how can a majority member sue for discrimination. Think white people who think their Black bosses are biased, or men who think the women are ganging up on them. d) And the only reason the Court steered clear of that Indiana case (in mid-December) was because none of the parents had been affected by the policies and so they lacked standing. Nevertheless, Thomas, Alito, and Kavanaugh wanted to hear the case anyway. Say what?

The bottom line is that the Court majority is not on our side.

Answer Five: a) 2022. I wonder, logistically, how you can fit overdose levels of coke on your penis. b) 2022 again. The girlfriend escaped, the men ran away, and the prankster was arrested until the whole thing was sorted out. c) This was 2024, although I’m not sure I did justice to the story in my column. After crashing the car, Margot Lewis was found by police sitting on a lawn chair in the I-90 median. d) Again, 2024. Surgeons in Vietnam removed the eel and the lime. Apparently, this was not their first experience with this kind of extraction. e) That’s 2023, as is f). Guys, guys, guys! Be careful out there. Answer Six: Roberts is the dog killer. Pressler is the abuser, Stadelmann founded the Jodlerklub gay yodeling club. Voris is the gym rat. Butker is the kicker, and Kitara Rivache, of course, is the former Congressman’s drag name.

Answer Seven: a) KFC referred to “bucket,” Keebler elves said “Fudge!,” the Bounce Dryer guys said, “Sheet,” and Mountain Dew said to get off your ass, showing a donkey instead of saying the word “ass.” The Moms also berated the manscaping commercials, and many others including the Jesus people at “He Gets Us,” who weren’t evangelical enough or something. I meant to look into that. It

(continued on page 20)

Songs of the Season 2024

San Francisco’s delightful and entertaining holiday cabaret delivered unforgettable magic once again this year. Here’s a look back at the 32nd annual Songs of the Season.

On Tuesday and Wednesday, December 10 and 11, 2024, Producer and Host Brian Kent along with Songs of the Season original creator Donna Sachet celebrated with two incredible nights of joy, laughter, and breathtaking performances, culminating in a sold-out second evening. The holiday tradition brought together a dazzling array of talent, all while supporting PRC’s life-changing services.

This year’s performers included Kippy Marks, Kenny Nelson, Kent, Brian Justin Crum, Sister Roma, Charles Jones, Leanne Borghesi, Marta Sanders, and Sachet, whose appearance was all the more special as she is recovering from a recent small stroke. (See her feature in this issue.) Sachet looked radiant in white as she sang “White Christmas.”

Backing the sensational acts was a top-notch band featuring Dr. Dee Spencer and Jad Bernardo on keys, Victor Serda on bass, Brian Lassiter on saxophone, and Roberta Drake on drums.

Plans are already in the works for Songs of the Season 2025, which will be on December 9 and 10, so mark those new calendars! https://bit.ly/3VH9m6D

IBy Donna Sachet

magine the busy routine of your everyday life coming to a grinding and surprising halt. Such was the case for us on Sunday, November 17, 2024, when subtle symptoms suggested that we needed immediate medical attention. Indeed, after telephone consultation with a medical professional, we reluctantly dialed 911 and met the EMTs in the lobby of our building to be whisked away by ambulance to Davies Medical Center.

After examination and extensive tests, doctors diagnosed a stroke. They detected no cognitive damage or memory loss, but faced with profound loss of coordination on our right side, resulting in difficulty walking, writing, and speaking, we spent the next 10 days in rehab and the next several weeks recuperating here and in Napa. As it turns out, Davies Medical Center has a fantastic reputation as one of the preeminent rehab facilities in the nation, and from all we experienced, it is a justifiable reputation. Their care was attentive, responsive, individual, professional, and complete. We owe then a debt of gratitude for their dedicated care and their patience with this decidedly impatient patient.

We’ve decided to share so many of the details of this incident in this column because of the many inquiries that our sudden cancellation of December engagements caused. Our intent is not to draw undue attention to our personal dilemma, knowing that there are so many who are suffering major tragedies, many without public attention or personal support. This unexpected situation has, however, revealed to us three lessons that we would like to share with our readers.

First, friends, family, loved ones, and even acquaintances want to help; let them. Perhaps because of our very public life, many people claim a friendship to us and as word leaked out about our situation, they lined up to offer assistance. A sense of proud independence made this hard to accept, at first. But it was important to recognize our limitations and need for assistance, and gradually there was acceptance of offers of rides, errands, grocery pick-ups, and little personal favors. Each of those people became part of our recovery, sharing in our return to some semblance of normality.

Far from an inconvenience, these small acts of kindness reiterated our friendship. Text messages, phone calls, cards, and bouquets of flowers were a daily reminder of a caring circle of friends. And we are convinced that the speed and progress of our recovery was amplified by the love and support we felt every day.

Second, recovery is an active process. Certainly rest, including frequent naps, play an important part in overcoming most physical health crises, but returning to full health requires a blend of impatience and discipline. Occupational therapy requires repetition of seemingly routine tasks, but with new attention to the details of the process, no matter how mundane or irritating.

Speech therapy requires the endless recitation of tonguetwisters and careful reading aloud of dense passages of nonfiction with particular attention to speed, accuracy, and cadence. And physical therapy requires a patience with one’s newfound inabilities or hampered skills, combined with a daily discipline of determination to regain what was lost. Small gains resulted in new confidence, but without effort, no progress would have been possible.

Third, and finally, life is fraught with a cruel element of chance that must be acknowledged. Why does one person within the predictable parameters of stroke risk suffer total speech loss or permanent physical impairment? Why do multiple passengers in a car accident emerge unscathed while others lose the precious gift of life? Why do hundreds of family members pray for the remission of cancer or some other medical condition but only a handful of those affected realize a full recovery?

“Life is short and it is here to be lived.”

—Kate Winslet

Most importantly, it is not what befalls us in life, because so much of that is beyond our control; it is how we respond to it that defines our existence.

Although we did cancel 20-something engagements during the month of December, we made one exception: Songs of the Season. We created this annual holiday cabaret over 30 years ago, benefiting first the AIDS Emergency Fund and later PRC. Most recently, our good friend Brian Kent has produced the event, adding new talent and quality to the project. After checking with our doctors, we decided that, in the midst of our recovery period, we could show up each of the two nights at Feinstein’s at Hotel Nikko for a surprise cameo at the finale.

It was an incredible sensation. We felt love and support filling the room each night as we strolled through the audience and joined the cast for the finale of “White Christmas.” We challenged our own weakness and displayed the considerable progress made in a matter of weeks. And we dedicated Songs of the Season, as always, to an organization that addresses the complex issues of homelessness, drug abuse and dependency, and mental challenges that face so many without reason or rhyme. Our little incident paled in comparison.

As 2024 comes to an end, we wish our loyal readers all the best of the holiday season! May you be surrounded by love and support and may you find the courage and humility to acknowledge that fact. May you find the personal strength to face all challenges with resolute resiliency. And may you look around and, while appreciating your own blessings, find ways to help others who may not enjoy even a modicum of your own comforts. Life is short; cherish your own and enrich all those you can. Happy holidays!

You may have answers to these troubling questions, but we have come to recognize them as beyond understanding and simply the product of the randomness of life. Good people, whatever that means to you, suffer and some recover. Bad people, if you can identify such a category, sometimes avoid sudden emergencies and some seem to live a charmed life.

Donna Sachet is a celebrated performer, fundraiser, activist, and philanthropist who has dedicated over two decades to the LGBTQ Community in San Francisco. Contact her at empsachet@gmail.com

Donna Sachet (shown here with Brian Kent) surprised audiences with a cameo appearance at the Songs of the Season benefit for PRC held at Feinstein’s at the Nikko on December 10 & 11.

PHHOTO BY RINK

immersed in the film the way you are in the theater environment. Take Alfonso Cuarón’s beautiful 2018 film Roma, for example. Everyone I’ve ever talked to about that film either loved it or couldn’t get into it. Those who loved it saw it in movie theaters not on Netflix, even though the film was made by Netflix. Casual home watchers couldn’t surrender to the experience Cuarón intended, and thus missed the joys and rhythms of that movie, and that is just one example.

San Francisco Bay Times: You all have some of the best movie popcorn! We know that, at the Elmwood, there has been renewed effort in expanding some of the food and drink options. Do you plan to continue to go in that direction in future? And back to that popcorn—why do you think yours is so good versus that of some of the larger chains?

Ky J. Boyd: Popcorn isn’t that hard, though the quality of what you get at some theaters certainly makes it seem hard. Good popcorn is five things: good quality seed, good quality oil, real salt—not that butter-flavored popcorn salt crap—and popping the popcorn at the right temperature and making it fresh constantly. And then you top it with real butter. We do offer a vegan butter topping option, but it’s not the same.

With the Elmwood, figuring out how we could expand our food offerings and offering beer and wine was a real challenge. The concessions stand is about the size of a postage stamp and we have extremely limited storage space. So, we spent a lot of time researching

products and options. I like the mix that we’ve come up with of six or seven beers, a couple of ciders, five wines, and a limited menu that we can produce quickly and consistently in the space we have to work with. There are lots of convenience food product options out there, but not all of them are good. Is our pizza as good as, say, Summer Kitchen? (Summer Kitchen is one of the popular restaurants in the Elmwood District on College Avenue.) No, but it is a quality frozen pizza option that works in our context. San Francisco Bay Times: How does your team decide what to run at any given time, and particularly during the holiday season? And please highlight some of your favorite films and events slated to run through the holidays and in the not-too-distant future.

Ky J. Boyd: As I mentioned before, film programming is a relationship-based business. I’m fortunate to have an incredible creative partner in our film buyer Doug Endicott, who is based in Los Angeles. He represents us to all the studios and distributors. Doug and I are on the phone so much collaborating that Michael sometimes refers to Doug as my other husband.

Doug and I both have a strong sense of what films belong at the Elmwood. There are films that Doug will define as important and then there are others that I feel are important. Mine tend to be the smaller movies like the animated film Flow that is playing as of the time of this interview. (Editor’s Note: Members of our San Francisco Bay Times team saw Flow at the Elmwood and cannot recom-

mend it highly enough. This beautifully rendered, thought-provoking animated film is one of the best of 2024.)

We balance both of our perspectives, but at the end of the day, because I am the theater owner, if it comes down to a choice between this or that, I have the deciding vote. Everyone thinks film programming is an easy and fun job where you just get to watch movies all day. That is so far from the reality. Doug and I have been collaborators for 25 years and we have a very good working relationship that benefits the theater. Sometimes we have an embarrassment of riches and sometimes we are trying to piece together a lineup out of a less than desirable selection of films. The challenge is we do not make the movies; we can only choose from the movies that are made, and we don’t get a vote in when distributors decide when/how to release their films.

It’s easy for people to say, “Oh, you should show more classics,” or more this or more that, but the bottom line is this is a business. We have rent, employees, and insurance to pay, and we have to show films that we think are going to be popular because butts in seats are what pay the bills.

San Francisco Bay Times: Did either you or Michael ever get to meet any of your favorite film stars or filmmakers?

Ky J. Boyd: In 2005, Michael and I were at the Brokeback Mountain party at the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF). I was coming back from the restroom and Michael

introduced me to the woman he was talking to who happened to be my favorite director, Gurinder Chadha, who made What’s Cooking?, Bend It Like Beckham, and other films. It was such a thrill to get to meet her and talk with her. I love her work because it is always about multiculturalism, strong women, and communities coming together. I also got to congratulate Jake Gyllenhaal on the film at that party, but for me, meeting Gurinder Chadha was a much bigger thrill.

In 2014, Michael helped me meet director Julie Taymor, who was at TIFF with her film of her stage production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream. That was also a thrill because she was so kind and accessible and I got to talk to her about my favorite theatrical moment in the musical The Lion King, which was so simple but so emotionally powerful at the top of Act II when the silk fabric that represents the water dries up. She was thrilled at how much I loved that moment because it is pure theater.

San Francisco Bay Times: Is it possible that Rialto Cinemas might expand, hopefully into San Francisco at some point?

Ky J. Boyd: We are always looking at potential opportunities, but expansion is a very expensive proposition with a fair amount of risk. So, it has to be the right location with the right deal that makes sense for the long term. It’s hard because we’d love to save lots of classic theaters, but it has to make financial sense.

https://rialtocinemas.com/

Rink Throwback Holiday Tree Chaos in the Castro, 1986

From giant balloons crashing into people at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York during wind gusts to stovetop fires experienced by enthusiastic cooks attempting to fry the perfect turkey or latke, the holidays are not without their challenges. This has been the case for the holiday tree in the Castro, as San Francisco Bay Times lead photographer Rink captured in 1986.

He recalled, after taking the image, that “the Castro District’s holiday tree raising did not always run as smoothly as it does now. These men called for help when they realized that the holiday tree’s weight had been underestimated. Cars stopped and drivers and passengers jumped out, and nearby dog walkers and cruisers joined in to help, with many laughing.”

The tree at last went up at 18th and Castro streets, where the 2024 holiday tree as of this writing now proudly stands.

sounds as if the American Family Association (the Moms) don’t like the He Gets Us people (Hobby Lobby and others).

Answer Eight: There is no doubt the answer is b). “Queer food defies categorization, and that’s its beauty,” said one of the conference organizers incoherently. One participant singled out okra as a “queer food” because “it’s crunchy and ooshy-gushy,” and “a lot of people think it’s weird.” Readers, I put my foot down. When we take ourselves too seriously and find the “queer” angle to anything and everything we experience, we look like fools. And we are. Also, okra is disgusting. And by the way, Jack Phillips was originally sued because he refused to sell a standard cake off the rack to two gay men in violation of state anti-discrimination law. He is not legally obligated to produce a custom order of any sort, just as a baker is not obliged to produce a swastika cake. Nonetheless, this woman has been suing him for years.

Answer Nine: All of these rulings came from the Fourth Circuit. The last two were part of a combined case that was heard by the full court, fourteen judges who ruled 8–6 in favor of the

MILLER (continued from pg 8)

community.

Family Bonding: Giving is a family affair! Charitable giving can bring your loved ones closer. Establishing a family tradition of giving can create lasting memories and a legacy of kindness.

Spreading Joy: Studies show that giving makes us happier. Donating to meaningful causes can boost your happiness over time. Not only does being charitably inclined make you feel good, but it also has some pretty nifty benefits too.

Lower Your Tax Bill: Donations to qualified charities can reduce your taxable income—up to 60% of your adjusted gross income (AGI) for public charities and 30% for certain private organizations. Excess donations? Carry them forward for five years!

Shrink Your Taxable Estate: Strategically gifting assets reduces your estate’s size, potentially saving on estate taxes.

Avoid Capital Gains Taxes: Got highly appreciated stocks? Gifting them to charities avoids capital gains taxes and maximizes your impact.

Not sure how to start your giving journey? Here are a few Santa-approved ideas: Annual Gifting: Set a yearly giving goal. Even better, work with an advisor to identify the best assets to donate, like low-cost-basis stocks.

Family Philanthropy: Create a donor-advised fund or private foundation to involve your family in spreading holiday cheer yearround. Donor-Advised Funds are easy to maintain and flexible, with immediate tax benefits. Private foundations, on the other hand, can facilitate larger-scale giving with more control (and a bit more responsibility).

Qualified Charitable Distributions (QCDs): Retired? Use your IRA’s required minimum distribution to gift up to $105,000

transgender employees and patients. The Fourth Circuit was also where transboy Gavin Grimm repeatedly won the right to use bathrooms in his high school. The Fourth Circuit, where we have a slight Democratic edge, covers Maryland, Virginia, West Virginia, North Carolina, and South Carolina. Our edge is unlikely to survive four years of Trump. Answer Ten: Of course, this is just me. a) I want the dirt from Kimberly. I don’t wish marital ill on JD and Usha. b) I’ll take the manageable cancer. If you’re tired all the time, there’s something wrong with you and they just haven’t found it yet. c) I’ll take Kennedy. I think he can do less damage. d) In love, of course. e) I suppose I want us to thrive even as a recession would reflect badly on the bozos in charge. f) I’d take the job I love. You only live once, and can you appreciate it if you’re slogging away and under pressure all the time? g) Both options sound exhausting.

See you next year!

arostow@aol.com

annually to charity without boosting your taxable income.

Charitable Trusts: Combine income generation with charitable goals. A charitable remainder trust lets you receive income while leaving the remainder to charity, while a charitable lead trust works in reverse.

Check Your Giving List Twice: Just like Santa verifies his list, do your homework to ensure your chosen charities are effective, financially sound, and eligible for tax-deductible donations. Working with an advisor can help you optimize your giving strategy, making the season of giving last all year long.

The opinions expressed in this article are for general informational purposes only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual or on any specific security. It is only intended to provide education about the financial industry. To determine which investments may be appropriate for you, consult your financial advisor prior to investing. Any past performance discussed during this program is no guarantee of future results. Any indices referenced for comparison are unmanaged and cannot be invested into directly. As always, please remember investing involves risk and possible loss of principal capital; please seek advice from a licensed professional.

Brio Financial Group is a registered investment adviser. Advisory services are only offered to clients or prospective clients where Brio Financial Group and its representatives are properly licensed or exempt from licensure. No advice may be rendered by Brio Financial Group unless a client service agreement is in place.

Brandon Miller, CFP®, is a financial consultant at Brio Financial Group in San Francisco, specializing in helping LGBT individuals and families plan and achieve their financial goals. For more information: https://www.briofg.com/

GREENE (continued from pg 8)

Retirement Planning: Ensure that your retirement accounts are properly aligned with your estate plan, including updated beneficiary designations and withdrawal strategies.

3. Set up or update a living trust.

A living trust is a powerful tool that can help avoid probate, reduce estate taxes, and provide for the management of your assets if you become incapacitated. If you don’t already have a living trust, consider setting one up as part of your 2025 resolutions. If you already have a trust, take time to review and update it to ensure it still aligns with your goals.

4. Plan for long-term care.

As you plan for the future, it’s important to consider how you will manage potential healthcare needs. Long-term care planning is an essential component of a comprehensive estate plan.

Long-Term Care Insurance: Evaluate whether long-term care insurance is right for you, especially given the high cost of healthcare in the Bay Area.

Healthcare Directives: Review and update your healthcare directives, including your living will and medical power of attorney, to ensure they reflect your current wishes.

Medi-Cal Planning: If you anticipate needing long-term care, consider strategies for qualifying for Medi-Cal.

5. Review and update beneficiary designations.

Your beneficiary designations on accounts like life insurance, retirement plans, and bank accounts take precedence over your will, so it’s crucial to keep them updated and incorporate them into the comprehensive estate plan developed in an office like ours.

Consistency Across Documents: Ensure that your beneficiary designations are consistent with the rest of your estate plan. Inconsistencies can lead to disputes or unintended consequences.

Contingent Beneficiaries: If you haven’t already, designate contingent beneficiaries who will receive assets if the primary beneficiary predeceases you.

6. Protect your digital assets.

In the digital age, protecting your online accounts and digital assets is a growing concern. Make 2025 the year you take control of your digital legacy:

Inventory Digital Assets: Create a comprehensive list of your digital assets, including email accounts, social media profiles, and online banking.

Access Information: Ensure that your executor or trustee has access to the necessary passwords and login information to manage your digital assets after your passing.

Digital Legacy Plans: Consider including instructions in your estate plan for how you want your digital assets managed or distributed.

7. Communicate your plans with family.

One of the best ways to prevent disputes and ensure your wishes are followed is to communicate your estate plan with your family.

Family Meeting: Consider holding a family meeting to discuss your estate plan and the reasons behind your decisions. This can help prevent misunderstandings and provide clarity for your loved ones.

Prepare Your Executors and Trustees: Make sure that the individuals you’ve chosen to serve as your executor or trustee are aware of their responsibilities and are prepared to carry them out.

Conclusion

Setting estate planning resolutions for 2025 is an important step in securing your financial future and protecting your loved ones. By updating your estate plan to reflect life changes, reassessing your financial situation, and communicating your wishes with your family, you can enter the new year with confidence.

If you need assistance with any aspect of your estate planning, contact us at obed@ greenelawfirm.com or call us at 415- 905-0215 to schedule a consultation. Let’s work together to make 2025 a year of security and peace of mind for you and your family.

Statements In Compliance with California Rules of Professional Conduct: The materials in this article have been prepared by Attorney Jay Greene for educational purposes only and are not legal advice. This information does not create an attorney-client relationship. Individuals should consult with an estate planning and elder law attorney for up-to-date information for their individual plans.

Jay Greene, Attorney, CPA, is the founder of Greene Estate, Probate, & Elder Law Firm based in San Francisco, and is focused on helping LGBT individuals, couples, and families plan for their future, protect their assets, and preserve their wealth. For more information and to schedule an assessment, visit: https://assetprotectionbayarea.com/

Take Me Home with You!

Meet Juno, a strikingly beautiful 1-year-and-9month-old pit bull mix with Dalmatianlike spots that reflect her unique charm. Hailing from Marin, this divine canine goddess is as gentle as she is gorgeous, radiating affection and warmth to everyone she meets.

a loving hand by her side. Whether it’s through cuddles on the couch or shared training sessions, Juno is ready to bond deeply with her forever family.

Juno is a bundle of love wrapped in a playful package. She’s full of excitable energy, making her a lively companion for outdoor adventures, yet she’s also learning the fine art of calming herself when the moment calls for it. Like any young goddess in training, Juno is working on her social graces with other dogs and thrives with a family willing to guide her with positive reinforcement and patience. This bright and eager learner is on a journey to build confidence and independence with

Curious about Juno? Try fostering her first! The SF SPCA offers a “foster-toadopt” program where you can take Juno home for a one-week trial. If you’re ready to welcome this sweet, spotted goddess into your life, email us today at adoptions@ sfspca.org

Don’t wait—Juno’s divine love is just a paw away! Meet Juno at the SF SPCA Mission Campus, open Wednesday–Sunday, 11 am–6 pm, and Tuesday, 1–6 pm. Adoption fees for animals 5 months and older are waived through December 31, 2024. https://www.sfspca.org/adoptions/

GGBA/GEENEN (continued from pg 7)

prior 2 years, you will see the implementation of these carefully considered efforts, approaching each with a growth mindset of economic empowerment and sustainability.

We are not seeking a seat at someone else’s table. Instead, we are meticulously constructing our own—robust, inclusive, and aligned with the evolving needs of our community.

Your Role in Our Journey

Your continued support is not just appreciated—it is essential. Whether you are a long-standing member, an ally, a sponsor, or someone watching our progress and waiting to engage, you are integral to our mission. We invite you to:

• Stay engaged with our listening initiatives. Ensure that your membership profile is current.

• Share your perspectives and experiences. Mark GGBA communications for your inbox.

• Send us your thoughts and feedback. Email members of the GGBA Board directly.

• Support our work through sponsorship. Host a monthly Make Contact event.

• Spread our message. Repost GGBA content on social and on LinkedIn. A Heartfelt Thank You

To every person who has stood with us, challenged us, and believed in our potential: thank you. We will honor your trust through transparent, purposeful action.

Our history is our strength, and our future is built on our willingness to grow together.

With a profound commitment to listening, Nancy Geenen president@GGBA.com

Special thanks to Coco Brown, Project Manager, GGBA

Nancy Geenen is the Acting President of the Golden Gate Business Association. She is also the Principal and Chief Executive Officer at Flexibility https://www.flexability.com/

Let’s Go Home!

Here are two of the many pets now available for adoption at Oakland Animal Services (OAS): Gordo and Gordita

These 2-year-old siblings are looking for a soft place to land after losing the only home they’ve ever known through no fault of their own.

Both kitties have cute cow coloring and sweet, friendly temperaments. Gordo is a mellow guy who’s happy to sit back and wait for you to come to him, but who’ll reward your efforts with purrs, head bonks, and lean-ins. His outgoing sister Gordita will trot right up to say hello, making biscuits in anticipation, and can’t get (or give) enough love and affection. Together, they make a purrfect pair!

Stop by to meet them Sunday from noon to 3 pm. Bonus: Adoption fees are waived thanks to the BISSELL Pet Foundation’s “Empty the Shelters” program!

The OAS adoption process focuses on matching you with a pet who is a good fit for you and your family. Come by during open adoption hours Thursdays 12–7 pm and Fridays/Saturdays/Sundays 12–3 pm to adopt your new best friend, or to learn more about the OAS adoption process. Please see the OAS website to learn more about how you can help by adopting, fostering, volunteering, and donating: www.oaklandanimalservices.org

GGBA/MEMBER SPOTLIGHT (continued from pg 7)

Stella Lim: I feel incredibly fortunate to be surrounded by amazing role models in my life. My dad was my first teacher; he taught me about integrity and resilience, which I believe are the foundations of any successful endeavor.

Over the years, I’ve had the opportunity to work with some remarkable women who welcomed me with open arms. A few that stand out to me are H.E. Melba Pria, the Ambassador of Mexico to Indonesia; Nancy Greenen, the new GGBA President, who is doing an excellent job guiding the organization through challenging times; and the remarkable Edie Fraser, Co-Chair of the Women Business Collaborative, who brings endless passion and energy to her work. I also admire Kate Kendell, who formerly led the National Center for Lesbian Rights,

One notable mention is Catherine Gray, a superconnector and the driving force behind the film Show Her the Money. Alongside her is John Majeski, a successful entrepreneur and investor. Together, they created the Silicon Valley Women Founders Fund, which aims to champion female founders by providing them with the funding and resources they need to succeed.

GGBA: Why did you decide to join the GGBA, and how long have you been a member?

Stella Lim: I joined the GGBA because I love being part of a community that supports LGBTQ+ businesses and creates opportunities for everyone to thrive. I’ve been a member since 2023 and even joined the board this year—it’s been amazing to contribute to such a dynamic and impactful organization.

GGBA: How has being a member of GGBA helped your business so far?

Stella Lim: It’s connected me with an incredible network of business owners, which has been inspiring and opened up some opportunities for collaboration.

It has also helped me raise the profile of my work, especially with AM Diversity Ventures, and given me a platform to contribute to conversations around inclusivity and impact in the business world. Plus, the support and sense of community have been invaluable!

GGBA: Do you go to the GGBA monthly Make Contact networking events? Have they benefited you and your business, and would you recommend them to others?

Stella Lim: Yes, I love going and meeting people in the community and I definitely recommend people to come.

GGBA: What advice would you give to someone who is thinking of starting their own business?

Stella Lim: My advice? Just start. It’s easy to get caught up in wanting everything to be perfect, but the truth is, you’ll learn so much by jumping in and figuring things out as you go. Surround yourself with people who inspire you and aren’t afraid to challenge you—it makes a world of difference. And don’t be afraid to ask for help or pivot when things don’t go as planned. Most importantly, make sure you’re passionate about what you’re building because that’s what will keep you going on the tough days.

Juno: The Goddess of Love and Loyalty Awaits Her Forever Home

Juno

Gordo and Gordita

Professor Bates and Goody Claus on a Sleigh-Ride

Faces from Our LGBT Past

After Clement Clarke Moore’s beloved poem “The Night Before Christmas” appeared, anonymously, in 1823 as an “Account of a Visit from St. Nicholas,” Santa Claus cruised from the printed page into the collective consciousness of Americans, fully formed and forever steadfast. The reindeer were there, too, and the sleigh full of toys, but many details were missing. Cartoonist Thomas Nast added the home at the North Pole and the toy workshop in an 1866 drawing for Harper’s Weekly. Others bestowed the elves—and a wife.

Mrs. Claus first appeared some 20 years after Moore’s poem. Usually described as a smiling, good natured, stay-at-home helpmate who offered her husband comfort and cookies following a long day, she was content to remain in the background while he received all the accolades. Occasionally he acknowledged his debt to her, but in most stories, it was Santa alone who spread the joy and reveled in the adoration he received, while she waited patiently for him to return. Not until Katharine Lee Bates (1859–1929) published “Goody Santa Claus on a Sleigh-Ride” in the 1888 Christmas issue of the children’s magazine Wide Awake was she portrayed as a woman who knows who she is and is not afraid to speak her mind. During an era when women’s rights and privileges were severely limited and they were mostly expected to provide their husbands with a clean home, well prepared meals and well-behaved children, she is a feisty, resolute, outspoken feminist who demands recognition and respect as an equal partner: “Why should you have all the glory of the joyous Christmas story, And poor little Goody Santa Claus have nothing but the work?”

creature of Victorian romance novels, retiring to her fainting room for a lie down after experiencing “a touch of the vapors.” A woman who knows her mind and her worth, she is not reluctant to tell the “head of the household” exactly what she thinks of him and the way he regards her:

“You just sit here and grow chubby off the goodies in my cubby From December to December, till your white beard sweeps your knees; For you must allow, my Goodman, that you’re but a lazy woodman

And rely on me to foster all our fruitful Christmas trees.”

In the world Bates describes, elves do not make the children’s toys. They grow on trees, which Mrs. Claus nurtures and harvests with no help from Santa. He would simply fail, she tells her husband, without her expertise and industry:

“While your Saintship waxes holy, year by year, and roly-poly, Blessed by all the lads and lassies in the limits of the land, While your toes at home you’re toasting, then poor Goody must go posting Out to plant and prune and garner, where our fir-tree forests stand ... .”

Who but Goody knows the reason why the playthings bloom in season

And the ripened toys and trinkets rattle gaily to her feet!”

For her there is no such thing as “women’s work”:

“Home to womankind is suited? Nonsense, Goodman! Let our fruited

Orchards answer for the value of a woman out-of-doors.”

Women, she tells him, can do anything men can. If Santa thinks otherwise:

“Why then bid me chase the thunder, while the roof you’re safely under, All to fashion firecrackers with the lighting in their cores?”

Goody Claus wants only to go with Santa on his Christmas Eve trek. Regarding his wife with a certain amount of chauvinism, he at first resists, then finally agrees, although he will not allow her to help with his task:

Yes, I know the task takes brain, Dear. I can only hold the reindeer, And so see me climb down chimney—it would give your nerves a shock.”

Toward the end of his long journey, Santa encounters an unsolvable problem: a child who cannot receive any presents because his Christmas stocking has a hole in it. Only Mrs. Claus can provide the solution, proving she can do anything he can do—and everything he cannot:

“I’ll mend that sock so nearly it shall hold your gifts completely. Take the reins and let me show you what a woman’s wit can do.”

She does, too, first mending the sock with “an icicle for needle” she has “threaded with the last pale moonbeam,” then going down the chimney herself to deliver the parcels. All ends well:

“Joy-bells ring in every steeple, And Goody’s gladdest of the glad. I’ve had my own sweet will.”

This Mrs. Claus is not the shy and delicate

“Would it be so very shocking if your Goody filled a stocking Just for once? Oh, dear! Forgive me. Frowns do not become a Saint ... .

“alabaster city” of the future. The couple then traveled through “amber waves of grain” to Colorado Springs, where they had been invited to teach at the new Colorado College. Bates especially was moved by the “purple mountain majesties” of the Rockies.

On their journey home, Bates began putting her impressions and thoughts into a poem she titled “America the Beautiful,” which she published in 1895. With music by Samuel Ward, it almost became the country’s national anthem, but in 1931, Congress chose “The Star-Spangled Banner” instead. Its tune was borrowed from a British drinking song, “To Anacreon in Heaven,” a paean to the ancient Greek poet whose verse often praised the beauty of young men and the pleasures of same-sex lovemaking.

At the time “Goody Santa Claus on a Sleigh-Ride” appeared in 1888, Bates was an Instructor of English at Wellesley College. Across her distinguished career, among other accomplishments, she created one of the nation’s first courses in American literature and was the first woman to write a textbook about it. A lifelong social activist and ardent feminist, she was an ally of labor unions and a foe of imperialism who worked to improve the condition of women, workers, people of color, and immigrants.

In the summer of 1893, Bates traveled to Chicago, where she joined her dearest Wellesley colleague, history and economics professor Katharine Coman (1857–1915) at the great World’s Columbian Exposition. Its once gleaming white walls were turning a sooty gray by then, but Bates imagined an

At Wellesley, Bates and Coman lived together in what some called a “romantic friendship” or a “Boston marriage,” an emotionally intimate relationship that endured for 25 years. Did they also share a physical affection? No one knows. Most of their personal correspondence was destroyed, although one letter that still exists from early in their affinity describes a deeply felt closeness: “You are always in my heart and in my longings,” Bates wrote to her.

After Coman died in 1915, Bates began writing Yellow Clover: A Book of Remembrance, privately published in 1922. Dedicated to Coman, its poetry clearly and openly describes her feelings toward her life partner. It is “one of the most anguished memorials to the love and comradeship between two women that has even been written,” author Judith Schwartz noted, adding that “it is obvious from the yearning desire that glows throughout the poems” that they “were a devoted lesbian couple.”

Bill Lipsky, Ph.D., author of “LGBTQ+ Trailblazers of San Francisco” (2023) and “Gay and Lesbian San Francisco” (2006), is a member of the Rainbow Honor Walk board of directors.

Dr. Bill Lipsky

Katharine Lee Bates

Katharine Coman

Photos courtesy of Bill Lipsky

Toast to the Season

San Francisco Bay Times & Golden Gate Business Association Holiday Celebration December 10 @ The Academy SF Special thanks to our event sp onsors:

Toast to theSeason

San Francisco

Golden Gate Business Association

December 10 @

The annual Toast to the Season holiday party, co-hosted Business Association (GGBA), took place on December multi-bar venue was full of celebrants on the crystal-clear Outdoor Courtyard with its firepits and heat lamps to

Sponsors, friends, and host team members brought along in a series of “pull out the winning ticket” door prize drawings. recipient moved forward to collect their prizes.

Guests enjoyed an array of menu items tro and Extreme Pizza, with a festive Bill Pung, who attended to serve them.

Emcee Jason Brock teamed with talented Prince, bringing his powerful multioctave songs including up-tempo renditions “Hanukkah in Santa Monica,” “The Christmas Is You.”

GGBA officers Hitesh Tolani and Imani remarks on behalf of the organization’s

State Senator Scott Wiener and Supervisor acknowledging the occasion expressing former head of the office of Speaker Emeritus the guests, acknowledging his years of Congressional office and new role as nity & Government Relations.

Following the program, DJ Rockaway, attendees to their feet for dancing during

Members of the San Francisco Bay Times appreciation to all of our sponsors, guests, we have been a proud member since

Laurence Herr - Agent Company; Golden State Warriors; Credit Union; BRIO Financial Estate, Probate, and Elder Extreme Pizza; La Méditerranée Andy’s; SF Federal Credit Bank; Flexability; San Francisco Stone’s Castro; PCFMA/Castro

ToastSeason

Francisco Bay Times & Association Holiday Party, The Academy SF

by the San Francisco Bay Times and the Golden Gate December 10, 2024, at The Academy SF. The multi-room, crystal-clear evening. The main program took place in the ward off the December chill.

along and gave away an exciting array of gifts presented drawings. There were many rounds of applause as each

items contributed by local favorites La Méditerranée Casselection of dessert favorites baked by Orphan Andy’s them.

talented musicians Kippy Marks and Ben multioctave voice and charismatic delivery to of “Silver Bells,” “White Christmas,” Christmas Song,” and “All I Want for

Imani Brown welcomed guests, bringing organization’s President, Nancy Geenen.

Supervisor Rafael Mandelman also spoke, expressing holiday wishes for all. Dan Bernal, Emeritus Nancy Pelosi, also addressed of community connections through the UCSF Vice Chancellor for Commu-

Rockaway, presented by Olivia Travel, brought during the After Party.

Times team would like to express sincere guests, and our co-host GGBA of which 1995.

Special thanks

event sp onsors:

New York Life Insurance Warriors; Xfinity; Redwood Financial Group; Greene Elder Law Firm; Olivia Travel; Méditerranée Castro; Orphan Credit Union; ellaprint; PNC Francisco Giants; Mollie PCFMA/Castro Farmers’ Market

Kathy Griffin is going into the closet, literally. The San Francisco Bay Times and your trusted reporter (me) were lucky enough to score an interview with the Emmy and Grammy winning comedian. She’s coming to the Masonic Auditorium as part of her My Life on the PTSD List tour, a play on words of her acclaimed TV show My Life on the D List, and her challenging past few years.

Back to the closet. Why was she there? She had to be evacuated from her Malibu home with her four dogs due to the encroaching Franklin fire (as of this writing, she and her house are fine). So, where did she go? To her friend and singer Sia’s house, of course. That is just one more celebrity name to drop, which undoubtedly will slip into her current act. Sia was taking a nap and Kathy had to do some interviews, so naturally Sia suggested her own closet—for privacy, I’m assuming. But one never knows.

Back to the tour. Kathy’s already appeared at Carnegie Hall in October, and she’s the female comedian who has appeared the greatest number of times at that venerated venue. She’s also spending New Year’s Eve in her hometown of Chicago at the landmark Chicago Theatre. Next stop? San Francisco, on January 18, 2025.

In a word, Kathy is a hoot. This might have been the most fun interview a gay boy has ever had. Not only that, but she’s also been an ally and supporter of the LGBTQ+ community for more years than anyone can count. She’s had her ups and downs, but honey, she’s back with a roar. She’s

Kathy Griffin Is Back, and She’s on Her My Life on the PTSD List Tour

no longer a D-Lister. She’s an A-Lister in this humble reporter’s book. What follows is our very entertaining conversation.

David Landis: First of all, I have to tell you: You always make me laugh.

Kathy Griffin: You didn’t cancel me?

David Landis: I am never canceling you, darling, never, never.

Kathy Griffin: No, thank you very, very much. I am just thrilled. I’m coming to San Francisco, the Masonic.

David Landis: I know, that’s a big venue.

Kathy Griffin: I know. Honey, they said I would never be back. They said it was over for me. Even San Francisco won’t have you, they said. You don’t know those gays, I said.

David Landis: They clearly don’t know the gays.

Kathy Griffin: I raised those gays from when they were babies. They’ll be there.

David Landis: So, tell me a little bit about your PTSD tour. You were at Carnegie Hall. You’re going to the Chicago Theatre. I mean, this is huge.

Kathy Griffin: Honey. I have my first gig on New Year’s Eve since I got canned from CNN 7 f-ing years ago. And, by the way, keep in mind: I got fired by Jeff Zucker, who then got me out of the business. So, the fact that I finally have a gig on New Year’s Eve at the Chicago Theatre, where I taped one of my specials, is so amazing. But to be back at the Masonic. I mean, I shouldn’t have a favorite venue. But I just love that theater, and it’s so good for stand up.

David Landis: And what do you think of San Francisco audiences?

Kathy Griffin: Smart. Unshockable. Gay. I mean niche: not just the gay community, I mean every letter, every number.

Kathy Griffin: David. I have to ask you a question, and it’s very inappropriate, so don’t get mad at me: Do they still do dykes on bikes, and call it that?

David Landis: Yes, and they lead the Pride Parade.

Kathy Griffin: I can’t even say it in other cities, because they’re like, “How dare you?” And it’s always a straight person who gets mad. But I’m like, “Shut the f ... up, Dykes on Bikes is iconic. It is unique to that city.” Those dykes worked hard to get those bikes. I’m so glad that that tradition is still happening.

David Landis: What was the genesis for the PTSD tour?

Kathy Griffin: Oh, my own f ... ing PTSD, which I have been diagnosed with. Blackballed by my own industry, everybody acting like I’m toxic (after the Trump mask incident). No fly list, Interpol list. President coming after me, Feds coming after me, Attorney General trying to have me arrested for conspiracy to assassinate the

By David Landis

President of the United States like for real. I’m not putting myself in their class, but even the great Lenny Bruce and the great George Carlin: they (only) had local police harass them. No comedian has ever had the Feds come after them. I filed a FOIA, Freedom of Information Act, and they were really serious about trying to figure out a way to have me arrested, and then taken to the Federal building in Los Angeles, so they could get the footage from the helicopter like it was madness.

David Landis: (referring to the Trump mask incident) It was comedy.

Kathy Griffin: Just harmless comedy. I took a picture of his Halloween mask with ketchup on it, like girl, please. But I had Congresswoman Maxine Waters give me the greatest compliment, and she’s like,

(continued on page 28)

Kathy Griffin

PHOTO BY JEN ROSENSTEIN

“Girl, I love you. You scared the s ... out of him with that picture.” And I said, “Well, somebody needs to scare the s ... out of him. So, you know, desperate times call for desperate measures.” I went out there, and I paid the price. I talk about this in the show. I became addicted to prescription pills. I tried to take my life. I was on a 3-day 5150 cycle (an involuntary psychiatric hold). I got sober a year later. I was diagnosed with lung cancer, even though I’ve never smoked. They took out half my left lung. By the way (smiling), I don’t like how you’re flaunting your 2 lungs in my face right now, David.

Kathy Griffin: I’m going through a divorce. I’m desperate to be the new golden bachelorette. I mean, I will put out. I won’t put out on the first date. I’ll put out on the first phone call. I have a banging bikini body. So, I talk about PTSD, and all of it, because if you’re not laughing, you’re crying. I get that people come to see me do that at the Masonic. It’s not going to be a bunch of Trumpers. It’s going to be people that are pretty much likeminded, as far as, “Oh, my gosh! What are we in for (with the new administration) this time?” And I’m very scared for the [LGBTQ] community. I feel like gay marriage could go bye-bye. The whole getting trans people removed from the military is only the beginning. I was at the Congressional hearings about dissolving “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” And this guy is such a psychotic dinosaur. I really am fearful about what it’s going to mean to be gay, and LGBT. In America.

David Landis: I think that the LGBTQ community is very worried, and should be very worried. And you know that we need to keep fighting, and we need to keep laughing.

Kathy Griffin: Yes. I want that audience to know I don’t have an opener. I write all my own s ... just like I always have. I’m going to be shocking. I’m going to be inappropriate, but if you get a ticket, I’m going to give you a lot of laughter, and if you’ve had a rough day, I want to make your day better. I want you to feel like you can just blow off some steam, and laugh at some raucous, horrendous heinous s… that I’ll be making fun of. Myself first, and then I’ll make fun of you. [With the new Trump administration], I’m not leaving the country. I love it here. I’m staying and fighting. We are to be counted, and I will say this. I do think that this administration, but Trump, in particular, I think he’s really underestimating the fighting power of the LGBT community. I don’t think he knows what he’s up against. These MAGAs up against the gays? Good luck, MAGAs!

David Landis: You really made your name with the My Life on the D List TV series, which we all loved. Was it a career highlight?

Kathy Griffin: Absolutely, and I am so proud that it’s back on Peacock. I don’t get another penny, but I don’t care, because I want people to fall in love again with my mom and dad, and the dogs. That show,

I mean, it was really real. I’m proud of it, because it was real. Pretty much after the D list, a lot of the shows, (like) The Kardashians and The Hills, became scripted. I mean not word for word, but pretty much scripted. I promise that (our show) was real. If you think I could get my drunk mother to read a script, then you didn’t know Maggie.

David Landis: Let me ask you about your dogs, because I’m a dog lover. How many dogs do you have now?

Kathy Griffin: I’m up to 4. If it were up to me, I’d have 40. I am Crazy Dog Lady. I have to tell you where I am right now, you’re gonna s ... , okay? The Malibu fires are going on. Not funny. I get it. I

permission to tell. I just called her at 2 am. And I thought, what are the chances? She was even awake, and she’s like, “Come on over. You can evacuate here.” I brought my little outfit to do interviews and threw some hair and makeup in a bag. You know hair is not always growing out of my head, but it does appear so. So, here I am, and I’m just laughing because she’s (now) taking a nap. And I said, “Honey, I gotta go do a bunch of interviews,” and she’s like, “Take your time.”

David Landis: You know you’re going back in the closet.

live in Malibu. So, I was evacuated at 2 in the morning. I have with me an assistant, a roommate, and 4 dogs, because I’m single now. I couldn’t even get my car out of the gate because the freaking gate’s electric. I put all the dogs and the human beings in the car, and, as you can see, I am— no pun—in a closet. You’re not going to believe whose house I’m at, and who took me in as an evacuee. You ready? Sia. She’s my bestie, and I have a story about her in the new show, too, that I even have her

because it was just all death threats and videos of my house, and how to find me and kill me, and what ways to kill me ... . [One of the first social media videos] was a bunch of gays. Dressed as I was, dressed in that photo, and having a parade on Fire Island.

I mean shout out to the LGBTs again, once, now, and forever. I am forever your girl. I mean it was I just was like, “Oh, my God! They get it!”

David Landis: Do you have a favorite LGBTQ charity?

Kathy Griffin: I will always have a special place in my heart for God’s Love We Deliver because my dear departed Joan Rivers was on the board of directors, and I’ll tell you a little fun story. When Joan was on The Celebrity Apprentice with you know who, which, by the way, she won, which was amazing, and that part was great. If he did one good thing in his life, he did that.

Kathy Griffin: Sometimes it’s called for everyone. You get evacuated back into a closet, and if that happens, you want to be in Sia’s closet.

David Landis: All right. So, the whole Trump mask incident. Who stood by you during those years?

Kathy Griffin: I mean, first of all, the gay community. The actual community was with me from minute one. And I mean, even though I was on a media blackout,

She had me come on an episode one time to bid on and win a handbag, and the money would go to God’s Love We Deliver. First of all, Joan said, “You’ve got to come on The Celebrity Apprentice, and you’re one of my shoppers.” I said, “Fine! What am I buying?” And she goes, “You’re buying a bag I got from Ralph.” Ralph Lauren sent her a bag, and I still have it to this day, and she goes, “Bid and bid high.” And so, I did.

(continued on page 29)

Kathy Griffin

PHOTO BY JEN ROSENSTEIN

And sure enough, production comes over to me, and they say you have to make the check out to the Donald J. Trump Foundation. I refused. I would only do it directly to God’s Love We Deliver. And sure enough, after the Trump photo scandal, I got a call from The Washington Post, David Farenthold, who won a Pulitzer Prize. He tracked down that donation, and he said, “You’re right. You’re the only one who didn’t write the donation to the Donald J. Trump Foundation.” Donald wasn’t happy about it. Ivanka was there that day, although I just call her a bag of Xanax. Now, I’m not saying she abused Xanax. That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying, “She reminds me of someone who abuses Xanax.”

David Landis: I want to do a little celebrity Round-Robin with you. I’m going to name a celebrity, and you give a 2- or 3-word description. Are you game?

Kathy Griffin: Yes.

David Landis: Paris Hilton.

Kathy Griffin: My new friend. And I have a story about her in my new show.

David Landis: Nancy Pelosi.

Kathy Griffin: Worship. Strong bitch.

David Landis: Elon Musk.

Kathy Griffin: A Nazi piece of s ... . He’s a Nazi. Let’s just call it like it is.

David Landis: Kim Kardashian.

Kathy Griffin: Smart businesswoman. Oh, not as smart as the mother. The mother is the smartest, and Kim is the second.

David Landis: Taylor Swift.

Kathy Griffin: I’m a Swifty. You know what? I love a girl that does a f ... ing 3-hour show. I like that work ethic.

David Landis: Ryan Seacrest.

Kathy Griffin: An empty shell.

David Landis: I’ve heard you say sloppy bottom.

Kathy Griffin: Oh, sloppy pig bottom. Yeah, that’s still a prize.

David Landis: Ellen.

Kathy Griffin: A walking, talking block of ice.

David Landis: RFK Jr.

Kathy Griffin: Filled with brain worms.

David Landis: Cher.

Kathy Griffin: Diva for life. You know, icon, for life, like people throw around the word icon. She’s a f-ing icon.

David Landis: Tom Cruise.

Kathy Griffin: Never met him. But he’s on my bucket list to meet and give some s ... to.

David Landis: RuPaul.

Kathy Griffin: Aspirational idol, I mean, I just idolize her. I watched her TikTok the other day, where she just said, “Look, these next 4 years: we’re just going to have to circle the wagons around each other, and dance and laugh, and have fun. And, of course, we’re going to fight. But we can’t forget who we are, and smile at each other, and find your people.” You know, she could have made a TikTok about anything. She could have been bitter, or she could have just been promoting herself. And that’s who she is. As long as I’ve known him, I should say him. But as long as I’ve known Ru, he’s like that to the core.

David Landis: In my other life, I have a column with this newspaper called “The Gay Gourmet,” so do you have a favorite San Francisco restaurant?

Kathy Griffin: House of Nanking God, I love that place so much that he [Peter Fang]’s not exactly friendly to me yet, but (smiling) he doesn’t throw the plate at me anymore. I’ve tried jokes on him, and he rolls his eyes. I love that. I dream of his food.

David Landis: His daughter, Kathy Fang, had a TV show, and she has her own restaurant, Fang.

Kathy Griffin: It was so fun to see him open up on that show. I watched every episode. I think she [Kathy Fang] is so cool, and I wish her just the most success. I think that the whole family is so great. But I just really crave the food.

David Landis: I love it, too. Final question, what do you hope for in 2025?

Kathy Griffin: More will be revealed ... They say that there’s something in the air about 2025, where, like, a lot of things are going to be revealed. And I’m kind of here for it.

David Landis: At least you’ll have a lot of material, right?

Kathy Griffin: Always. It’s all grist for the mill.

David Landis: Well, Kathy, it is such a pleasure. I look forward to seeing you on January 18th. Thank you for making the time for our newspaper. The LGBTQ community loves you, and we will be there. We can’t wait to welcome you back to San Francisco.

Kathy Griffin: I can’t wait to hit that stage, and thank you. And I know the LGBTQ community’s always been there [for me]. And please say that in this piece, because I want people to know it saved my life.

David Landis writes about the arts, entertainment, and lifestyle. In his other life, he is the “San Francisco Bay Times” Gay Gourmet, writing about restaurants, chefs, and food. You can follow him on Instagram @gaygourmetsf.

You can also contact him via email at: davidlandissf@gmail.com.

Dance Brigade to Present A Woman’s Song for Peace Tour,

January 9–19, 2025

Krissy Keefer’s Dance Brigade will kick off its 50th Anniversary Season with a West Coast Tour, January 9–19, 2025, of A Woman’s Song for Peace, a new dance theater work featuring original live music and performances by iconic musician and activist Holly Near, seminal queer feminist singer-songwriter Ferron, and groundbreaking Afro-Caribbean jazz artist Christelle Durandy, intertwined with Dance Brigade’s fierce, nuanced choreography.

Dance Brigade is sponsoring this seven-city tour to make an indelible mark on the upcoming inauguration. This is a cry for peace to end all wars so that peace and justice can prevail, not only in the Middle East, but also in Sudan, Ukraine, and at our borders and inner cities of the United States. “As we move through an intense and divisive presidential election cycle in which these issues are front and center, Dance Brigade offers A Woman’s Song for Peace with the aim of reorienting audiences to our shared humanity and desire for peace. We believe that this collaboration can unify and activate people. We offer it as a gift to our communities for healing, transformation, and a vision for a way forward,” Keefer told me for the San Francisco Bay Times

By Mary Carbonara

Her work explores the intersection between art and social issues with fierce inventiveness and a deft comic touch. Her content-driven choreographies are a high-energy blend of ballet, modern dance, jazz, song, text, sign language, and explosive Taiko drumming. She explained that the plan for A Woman’s Song for Peace manifested long before the election.

She explained, “The tour also is about invigorating the past, and celebrating the artists who are still going. This work is even more important now. There is no time like the present to manifest the future and the future should be on everyone’s minds. Our words and actions matter. Our art and our hearts matter. Taking a stand together matters. It takes all of us. We cannot give up.”

Birthed out of the Wallflower Order Dance Collective in Eugene, Oregon, in 1975, Dance Brigade has carried on a legacy of

provocative, feminist dance, producing cutting-edge productions exploring the intersection between art and social justice. What broke ground in the 1970s has evolved into an institution comprising Dance Brigade; Grrrl Brigade, an empowerment program for San Francisco girls ages 9 to 18; and Dance Mission, a dance center in the heart of San Francisco’s Mission district. Now celebrating its 25th anniversary, Dance Mission is dedicated to building community, addressing social justice issues, exploring cultural identities, promoting

change. Her work is loving, challenging, funny, thought-provoking, and remains rooted in the global community. An outspoken singer and ambassador for peace, Near brings a unique integration of world consciousness and self-evaluation, always growing and sharing experience humbly and boldly. A recipient of dozens of awards from organizations such as the ACLU and the National Organization of Women, she was one of Ms Magazine ’s Women of the Year recipients and has been nominated for Grammys as well as the Legends of Women’s Music Award.

When asked what she hopes audiences will take away from A Woman’s Song for Peace, Near responded, “What I have gathered over the 55 years of performing is that people go away feeling better than when they came in. Emboldened. Reminded of who they are before someone started chipping away at it.”

inclusivity, and creating a more peaceful world through collective action. Many women artists, artists of color, and culturally specific ensembles consider Dance Mission to be their artistic home.

After more than 50 years of her own bold work, Holly Near is still one of the most consistent and well-informed voices for

Near remains prolific, despite recently battling cancer and a mild stroke from which she says there are “some post-treatment consequences but nothing I can’t live with.” In 2019, she launched “Because of a Song,” an online archive documenting feminist and lesbian music that burst forth from Oakland, California, and which continues to grow as more women contribute to the site ( www.becauseofasong.com ). “I hope women will record their experiences all over the country, all over the world. Just leave your stories to be found,” she said.

Near recently produced a recording with pianists Mary Watkins and Tammy Hall and is finishing a DVD put together from material she performed with her sisters in the 1980s. She continues to work on a book of essays about her various life experiences from her work in Chile Solidarity, involvement in the development of lesbian feminist music, and lessons learned from cross-cultural collaborations. She said, “I think when all that is done, I will rest!”

Ferron explains that these days it takes a lot for her to get out on the road to perform, but for A Woman’s Song for Peace, all she needed was a text. She shared, “Krissy texted, ‘Would you be interested in doing something for peace?’ I wanted to say no.”

(continued on page 44)

Holly Near

Krissy Keefer

Dance Brigade

Water, Water: Poems (fiction - hardcover) by Billy Collins

Billy Collins’ Water, Water is a collection of intimate poems that explore the beauty and mystery of everyday life, inviting readers to appreciate the extraordinary in the ordinary.

Democracy Awakening: Notes on the State of America

(non-fiction - paperback) by Heather Cox Richardson

Top of your stack

Democracy Awakening is Heather Cox Richardson’s exploration of American democracy, tracing the historical roots of our current political climate and offering a roadmap for a more just future. It is now out in paperback!

Rental House: A Novel (fiction - hardcover) by Weike Wang

Following Keru and Nate, a couple caught between clashing family cultures and a sheepdog-sized bundle of chaos, this novel explores what it takes to keep a marriage and family together when everything feels on the brink of falling apart.

Upcoming Events

RECOMMENDATIONS FROM BOOK PASSAGE

Wednesday, January 8 @ 1 pm (ticketed - virtual) Mark Nepo, author of You Don’t Have to Do It Alone: The Power of Friendship

Mark Nepo celebrates the power of friendship and community as essential to our humanity. Through stories, reflections, and practical prompts, Nepo offers a heartfelt guide to cultivating connections that nurture authenticity and unconditional love.

Thursday, January 9 @ 6 pm (non-ticketed - Corte Madera store) Rachel Howzell Hall, author of The Last One

Kai wakes in a cursed land with no memory and one mission: reach the Sea of Devour. Battling beasts and uncovering dangerous secrets, she must decide if she can trust the enigmatic blacksmith who offers to help.

Saturday, January 12 @ 4 pm (non-ticketed - Corte Madera store)

Cary Groner, author of The Way

In The Way, Will Collins embarks on a perilous journey through a postapocalyptic America to deliver a potential cure. With danger at every turn, his unlikely companions—a clever raven, a spirited cat, and a tough teen—help him navigate a world transformed by nature and hope. https://www.bookpassage.com/

Martha Speaks by Susan Medaugh

A girl gives her dog, Martha, a bowl of alphabet soup, and suddenly she can speak! Hijinks ensue.

Survival Is a Promise: The Eternal Life of Audre Lorde by Alexis

This is a bold new biography of Audre Lorde by a queer Black feminist love evangelist who had access to Lorde’s full archive.

Photography - A Queer History by Flora

Here it is! Finally, an inclusive and international queer photo survey from Nan Goldin and Beb, to Peter Hujar and Michel Journiac.

https://www.fabulosabooks.com/

Dunster

Pauline Gumbs

Good and Mediocre Movies of December 2024 ... and an Epic Roadtrip

Off the Wahl

Jan Wahl

Imagine getting a private tour of Hearst Castle, including the toilet where Marion Davies hid her booze! The guides taking my sister and I around knew as much about trashy early Hollywood scandals as I do. I was in heaven as I viewed the movies of the stars who used to go there, saw the amazing art and furniture gorgeously maintained, and the pools where I’m sure people snuck away and got intimate.

I could imagine Billy Haines, the first out gay superstar; Chaplin and some very young starlet flirting; and Hearst himself reading every newspaper and rewriting editorials. It is such a well-run, amazing place. Don’t miss the movie Building the Dream, about Heart Castle, which is really well done.

Now, on to two movies I loved seeing recently. My favorite, A Real Pain, stars Jesse Eisenberg, who also wrote and directed this film. It’s about two cousins who go on a trip to Poland to honor their grandmother. Kieran Collin’s character is a complicated stoner, while Eisenberg plays a moody yet funny fellow. It is a lovely film.

I also recommend Sing Sing from 2023 and as of this writing streaming on Netflix. Based on a true story, it takes place in Sing Sing prison. The inmates use live theatre to avoid the madness of incarceration.

I was disappointed with Maria, starring Angelina Jolie. I doubt Maria Callas had such a boring, bland, one-dimensional life. And the closeups and self-indulgence were unfair to Callas, the remarkable diva. I saw Faye Dunaway as Maria Callas on stage. That production and

her performance were a gazillion times better.

One more disappointment for me was the over-hyped Wicked. There were two main problems in my view: the dancing was chopped up and not shot with clarity and excitement; and Arianna Grande was miscast, not playing the comedy edge of Glinda. Still, Wicked is well worth seeing on the big screen!

You can also stay in and watch Bad Santa, Scrooged, Auntie Mame (the Roz Russell version), or get tipsy and watch The Muppets Christmas Carol ! To all, happy holidaze!

Jan Wahl is a Hollywood historian and film critic on various broadcast outlets. She has two Emmys and many awards for her longtime work on behalf of film buffs and the LGBTQ community. Contact her at www.janwahl.com

2024: The Year in Queer Film

I am still snickering at Drive-Away Dolls, the fabulously queer comic thriller directed by Ethan Coen, who cowrote it with his wife, Tricia Cooke. Two lesbians, Jamie (Margaret Qualley) and Marian (Geraldine Viswanathan), are headed to Tallahassee unaware that a briefcase (along with another questionable box) is in the trunk of their car. As the women are pursued, sex, mayhem, and comedy ensue. Drive-Away Dolls is tremendous fun with jokes flying as fast and as furiously as fists and bullets.

Looking back at the LGBTQ films I reviewed this year, there were several highlights. Here is a rundown, in alphabetical order, of ten of my favorite queer films that screened in 2024.

All Shall Be Well is a poignant, touching drama by out gay writer/director Ray Yeung. Set in Hong Kong, the film has lesbian couple Pat Wu (Lin-Lin Li) and Angie Wang (Patra Au) celebrating the mid-Autumn festival with Pat’s extended family. After Pat unexpectedly dies, Angie is bereft. However, because Pat had no will, her family assumes control over the funeral arrangements—and Pat’s estate. All Shall Be Well lets viewers feel such empathy for Angie, and Patra Au delivers a beautifully calibrated performance. She is silent and stoic; her grief and loneliness as well as her pain and memories are all palpable. Yeung’s absorbing film may be modest and understated, but it is also quietly powerful.

The vibrant trans narco musical

Emilia Pérez is an operatic story of love, violence, and the power of women. A propulsive audacious experience, director Jacques Audiard’s film has Rita Moro Castro (Zoe Saldana), a lawyer in Mexico City, hired by the drug kingpin Manitas Del Monte (trans actress Karla Sofia Gascón in a dual role), to help him get gender reassignment surgery. Four years later, Manitas, now Emilia Pérez, wants Rita to help her get her wife Jessi (Selena Gomez) and kids back. It’s a risky prospect because Jessi and their children

are unaware of Emilia’s identity. Moreover, both Jessi and Emilia Pérez develop romantic feelings for other people. As a battle between Emilia and Jessi ensues, with Rita caught in the middle, Emilia Pérez builds to its explosive finale. The musical numbers, which include one about vaginoplasty, are fabulous and Saldana is sensational. While it may not be for all tastes, Emilia Pérez is just like its title character: unique, bold, and uncompromising.

Audiard’s film is sensational in every regard.

Extremely Unique

Dynamic , cowritten and codirected (with Katherine Dudas) by stars Harrison Xu and Ivan Leung, is a

lesbian, forming a makeshift family by marrying the gay Toni (Vladimir Tintor) in order to care for and raise her late lover’s children. Stolevski’s film deals with serious issues involving queer people and ethnic minorities in Eastern Europe, but he films it all with a light touch that immerses viewers in the lives of the characters.

shaggy, amusing meta-movie about Ryan (Xu, who grew up around Oakland/Fremont) and Daniel (out gay Ivan Leung), best friends in Los Angeles who will soon be separated as Ryan is moving to Edmonton, Canada. The fun film chronicles the buddies’ last weekend together. Rather than hang out, get high, and have fun, the straight Ryan coaxes the closeted Daniel into making a movie together, and a meta one at that. Ryan and Daniel will play Gregg and Tim who will play Jake and Jasper in the film within the film within the film. Things get, well, confusing, but this scrappy indie is as appealing as its leads.

Out gay filmmaker Goran Stolevski’s warm and engaging “hangout” film Housekeeping for Beginners, set in Macedonia, has Dita (Anamaria Marinca), a

In How to Have Sex, Mia McKenna-Bruce gave such an indelible performance as a teenager on a holiday trip to lose her virginity that one might have thought the film was a documentary. Immersing viewers into a very uncomfortable world, out writer/director Molly Manning Walker created a movie that is riveting, disturbing, and unforgettable. She deftly captures the wild parties and debauchery, leaving viewers with a contact hangover. McKenna-Bruce is a knockout as Tara, a teen who processes several painful emotional moments over the course of what should have been a good time.

In the Summers is a knockout feature debut by the queer writer/director Alessandra Lacorazza. Set entirely in Las Cruces, New Mexico, the film chronicles two sisters, Eva (Luciana Elisa Quinonez as a tween, Allison Salinas as a teen, and Sasha Calle as a young adult) and the queer Violeta (Dreya Castillo/Kimaya Thais/Lio Mehiel), as they visit their father, Vincente (René Pérez Joglar, aka Residente), four times over an approximately tenyear period. What makes In the Summers so moving, however, is all that goes unsaid.

(continued on page 37)

Film

Gary M. Kramer

This finely observed drama builds to a quietly powerful final sequence that may just prompt tears.

Luther: Never Too Much is director Dawn Porter’s enjoyable documentary about the late singer, songwriter, and producer extraordinaire, Luther Vandross. Told through anecdotes by his friends and fellow musicians, as well as archival clips and concert footage, the film traces his life from being a “Motown child,” worshipping singers like Aretha Franklin and Dionne Warwick—with whom he would later work—to appearing on Sesame Street, singing backup, and collaborating with David Bowie and Bette Midler, and even working and singing commercial jingles. But it is his solo career where his incredible talent and ambition are fully realized, even though he was pigeonholed as an R&B musician and never quite achieved the crossover success he deserved and desired. Luther does

address some of the singer’s troubles, including his ongoing struggles with his weight, his fear about the stigma of coming out, and a car accident in 1986 where his passenger was killed. Although the film is hagiographic, Luther’s lush voice and music still generate goosebumps. Although Vandross was not crazy about being called “Doctor Love” because his songs were so seductive, it is hard not to feel all the love and respect the musicians, friends, and fans still have for him in this cinematic valentine.

Queer, Luca Guadagnino’s sensual film, adapted from William S. Burrough’s novel, is a dark, and at times surreal, drama about Lee (Daniel Craig) craving sex and drugs. This richly colored film is full of textures—from the fabulous 1950s period clothes to strange, hallucinatory images, such as a snake eating its own tail. But it is Craig’s stunning performance that makes Queer so rapturous. The actor throws himself into the role with abandon, hungrily pursuing his desires. In what may be the film’s greatest scene, Lee prepares to inject himself with heroin and just sits waiting for the drugs to take effect. It’s shot in real time and Craig’s demeanor reflects both his anticipation and release. While not for all tastes, Queer enthralls as it maintains a hypnotic pull on viewers.

The excellent character study Sebastian has Max (Ruaridh Mollica), a writer, secretly working as Sebastian, an escort. He is performing sex work as research for a novel he hopes to publish. Of course, his side hustle (no pun intended) distracts

from his freelance work for a magazine, and it is only a matter of time before his two worlds collide. Sebastian depicts how Max handles the personal and professional conflicts he faces. Is he being self-destructive and feeling shame about living a double life? As he gets more involved with one particular client, is Max getting too deep into his work? Mollica’s highwire performance blurs the lines—he is sexy and confident one minute, and full of anxiety the next. Sebastian may not add anything new to the sex worker narrative, but the film remains

captivating because

© 2024 Gary M. Kramer

Gary M. Kramer is the author of “Independent Queer Cinema: Reviews and Interviews,” and the co-editor of “Directory of World Cinema: Argentina.” He teaches Short Attention Span Cinema at the Bryn Mawr Film Institute and is the moderator for Cinema Salon, a weekly film discussion group. Follow him on Twitter @garymkramer

Mollica exudes charisma, and makes viewers care about Max, even when he is at his worst.

Bay Times Dines

A Beautiful New N/A Pink Fizz and a Ruby-Hued Lambrusco to Celebrate the New Year

Sbrocco Sips

With a new year starting, it’s a time when many set new goals, reevaluate old habits, and think about what the months ahead will bring. Some lovers of libations might be looking to fully replace alcoholic beverages, while others are considering drinking less overall. The exciting news is that categories of low and no alcohol beverages are trending up.

I’ve sampled dozens of new N/A wines over the past few months and feel that quality is

finally getting to the point where many of these beverages taste good. The reason it’s hard to remove alcohol from wine and still have it taste like the real thing is that the alcohol is essentially the flavor delivery system. It serves up mid-palate mouthfeel and carries the aromas and flavors to your sensory system. Without it, wines can seem thin or flavorless.

If you want to sample one of my latest favorites, seek out a new entry in the N/A sparkling category:

Bolle non-alcoholic Sparkling Rosé $30

https://us.bolledrinks.com/

This beautiful new N/A pink fizz coming from Europe is simply delicious. It undergoes a proprietary twice fermented process to remove alcohol. With only 15 calories per glass, it’s dry and delicious to sip with everything from brunch to aperitif hour. It has an elegant bottle that is worthy of celebrations any day or night of the year.

Lower alcohol styles of wine can also impress, both in terms of presentation and

quality. German Rieslings, for example, can hover in the seven percent range as opposed to traditional bottlings at twice that percentage of alcohol.

A style of naturally lower alcohol wine I highly recommend for savory, cool-weather fare is Lambrusco, which is often a discovery to wine drinkers. Lambrusco is a lightly sparkling red wine from Italy’s northern Emilia-Romagna region. The region is home to Modena and its famous vinegar, Parmigiano Reggiano cheese, and, of course, the legendary Italian opera star, Luciano Pavarotti. Lambrusco wines

generally ring in at 11–12 percent alcohol and come in dry to sweet styles.

My top pick in this category is not only widely available but wildly affordable: Lini 910 “Labrusca” Lambrusco Rosso, Italy $15

https://bit.ly/41E9Pu4

The Lini family has been producing artisanal Lambrusco in Emilia since 1910. Currently run by the fourth generation of the family, it is a producer to know. The wine carries the term “Labrusca” that refers to the ancient Roman name for grapes used to make Lambrusco. This ruby-hued, gently fizzy bottling overflows with red berry freshness followed by a crisp, dry finish. It’s an ideal pairing for salty cheeses, spicy Thai curries, and slow-roasted meat dishes. Author, speaker, wine consultant, and television host Leslie Sbrocco is known for her entertaining approach to wine and food. She has won multiple Emmy Awards for her work on PBS, which includes hosting the series “Check, Please! Bay Area,” “Check, Please! You Gotta Try This!” and “100 Days, Drinks, Dishes & Destinations.” www.LeslieSbrocco.com

Leslie Sbrocco

Entertain for the Holidays: With Caviar, Champagne, and Flair Bay Times Dines

The Gay Gourmet

David Landis

With the holidays just around the corner as of this writing, I’m often asked, “What’s the best way to entertain?” My humble opinion is that you just can’t go wrong with caviar and champagne. This winning combination is special, dazzles even the biggest snobs, and, most of all, tastes great. Having just visited the Champagne wine region in France, I have a few favorites: Pierre Paillard, Veuve Clicquot, Ruinart , and my personal best, Billecart-Salmon rosé. But for caviar, I decided to turn to my knowledgeable colleague, Petra Higby, the founder and CEO at The

Caviar Company. She offered up some holiday tips for entertaining with caviar, as follows:

“The holiday season is a time to indulge in life’s finer pleasures, and nothing elevates a gathering like the presence of caviar. Once reserved for royalty and grand celebrations, caviar is now more accessible than ever, making it the perfect centerpiece for your holiday table. Whether hosting a family dinner or a corporate soirée, caviar’s rarity and opulence possess a unique ability to make a dish or moment feel special and luxurious, instantly elevating the affair. Its versatility allows it to be served in various forms—from a casual appetizer to the star of a multi-course menu. Caviar sparks conversation and brings a sense of occasion, whether enjoyed at a Hanukkah seder, a Feast of the Seven Fishes, or a New Year’s Eve toast.

Having thrown more than a few parties with caviar myself, I believe there are a few essentials to know that will help you impress even your most avant-garde guests.

By definition, caviar is salt-cured roe from sturgeon fish. With 27 species and countless hybrids available, each caviar variety offers a distinct set of flavors and textures. These are similar to the subtle variations found in different wine varietals. While some caviar is rare and imported from native habitats like the Caspian Sea, there are a variety of accessible options that won’t break the bank, taste just as good, and suit specialty occasions—

like white sturgeon farmed in the Bay Area.

The Caviar Company offers twelve different varieties of caviar and roe, suiting every palate and budget. The collection ranges from approachable domestic hackleback and paddlefish ($45–58 per ounce) to what I like to call “everyday caviars” known for their versatility, like white sturgeon and Siberian sturgeon ($75–100 per ounce). For caviar connoisseurs and those willing to spend a little extra for the crème de la crème of caviar, the Kaluga Hybrid and Osetra ($130–175 per ounce) are popular among Michelin star chefs in the Bay Area.

It’s key to align your caviar selection with the occasion to ensure everyone gets to savor the experience. For a standout New Year’s Eve treat, consider Osetra caviar bumps and champagne to toast to a prosperous year ahead. If you’re experimenting with unique dishes, Kaluga Hybrid pairs beautifully with both savory and sweet flavors. For beginners, classic white sturgeon, often referred to as the “butter of the sea,” is an excellent introduction. As for how much caviar to serve, plan for about one ounce per one to two people. For larger gatherings, think in “bites”— approximately three grams per serving. For example, a dinner party of six enjoying six bites each would require a 125gram tin.

delicate flavor. Keep it refrigerated and serve it chilled, using a non-metallic spoon to avoid altering its taste. Mother of pearl, wood, and glass are always the best options. However, in a pinch, don’t be afraid of plastic! Heat and air impact the quality, so your unopened caviar will be good for about four weeks and about 3–4 days following that.

When serving caviar, proper storage and presentation are crucial to preserving its

To incorporate caviar into your holidays, get creative! Caviar is meant to be savored and indulged in whatever way best suits the occasion and one’s individual taste preferences. Whether traditional or playful, caviar can be paired with countless bites and bubbles, or featured as the main component or accent in a variety of dishes. One may opt for a traditional pairing of a simple blini or potato-based vessel with dollops of crème fraîche and a sprinkling of chives, along with the classic glass of champagne or shot of vodka.

Unconventional pairings, on the other hand, can bring a fresh, modern spin to the age-old indulgence. Why not have caviar on top of your favorite food, or

Caviar from The Caviar Company in a festive appetizer

Petra Higby

Bay Times Dines

get creative with an unexpected culinary delight that will wow even the most refined palates? Some favorite unconventional pairings include baked potato stuffed with caviar, potato chips and caviar, ice cream topped with caviar, or caviar-centric charcuterie-style boards. At our establishment, we also serve a variety of Blanc de Blanc champagnes, unoaked chardonnay, and teas at our Tiburon Champagne and Caviar Lounge.

Caviar deserves a setting that complements its elegance. Arrange tins or servers over crushed ice for a visually stunning display. Incorporate natural textures like marble, wood, or glass to create a sophisticated spread. For added festivity, create a caviar bar for guests to explore different pairings and discover something they love or ring in the new year with caviar bumps and champagne toasts. The opportunities are endless. Just make sure to order a little extra for eggs and caviar the morning after.”

So, whatever you celebrate this holiday season, do it in style—with caviar, champagne, and lots of flair!

Bits and Bites

The James Beard Foundation, the organization behind the James Beard Awards, is bringing its Taste America culinary series back to San Francisco with a walk-around tasting on Sunday, February 23, 2025, at the Four Seasons San Francisco. The series celebrates culinary excellence and local independent restaurants, bringing together chefs and food lovers for dining experiences across 20 U.S. cities. The San Francisco walk-around tasting will feature chef Nelson German from Oakland’s alaMar Kitchen & Bar and Sobre Mesa.

In this era of diminished live music and supper clubs, it’s gratifying to see that North Beach’s Keys Jazz Bistro just celebrated two years in business. It’s one of the Gay Gourmet’s favorites. The nitery is an elegant and intimate space where you’ll see quality performers like San Francisco’s own Kim Nalley, you can quaff a well-crafted cocktail, and you can even have a proper meal. The club is in the former space of San Francisco’s storied El Matador, a popular jazz spot from the 1950s. Owner Simon Rowe has a notable pedigree, serving as Director of the Roots, Jazz, and American music program at the San Francisco Conservatory of Music. Upcoming shows include: Faye Carrol, Kenny Washington, and Mary Stallings.

David Landis, aka “The Gay Gourmet,” is a foodie, a freelance writer, and a retired PR maven. Follow him on Instagram @GayGourmetSF or email him at: davidlandissf@gmail.com Or visit him online at: www.gaygourmetsf.com

Assorted caviars from The Caviar Company

Remembering Bretchen Towers

A vigil for Bretchen Towers, the drag persona of artist and performer Brett Wiley, took place on December 15, 2024, at the public art and memorial space Hibernia Beach at Castro and 18th streets. The organizers, Troy Crossman, Sergio Manuel, and Grace Towers, echoed the views of many when they described Towers as being “one of the brightest stars this town has ever seen.”

Among the many tributes posted to social media was this from Steven Danz. He wrote, in part: “So many queens love to say

that they’re ‘punk rock’ to that point where the phrase has almost lost its meaning. You were a queen who was actually Punk Rock in a way that other queens were too scared to be.

Bretchen Towers is a part of the Bay Area’s long history of underground queer artists who not only rebelled against any conformity but rebelled against the conformity that

sometimes infects our community.”

One of Wiley’s best-known creations was the band Worthless, which he formed in 2013. The band performed at Powerhouse, the Castro Street Fair, and at other events and venues. Wiley shared that, being a gay man with HIV, he felt that he “owed it to his brothers to use my platforms to reach awareness ...

Worthless is all about being everything but worthless.”

The tributes show how much Wiley helped enrich the lives of others, from bullied school friends whom he protected, to friends and even casual acquaintances who benefited from his support. A constant in the tributes is that he made many “feel special, loved, and seen.” The vigil, held on a cold December night in the middle of the busy holiday season, had so many attendees that they filled the nearby streets, evidencing Wiley’s importance to the LGBTQ+ Castro community.

Two Uplifting Cars That Promote Road Confidence

My mom died. I did a lot of pre-grieving through her eight years of cognitive decline, but it was still devastating when it happened.

The week after the ceremony, I stuck around to keep my dad company, which led to a surreal evening of Turner Classic Movies showing us Tarzan, The Ape Man, Bo Derek’s appalling 1981 film, which leans heavily into soft-core porn. Neither of us anticipated that our grieving would include a nipply Bo.

I drove us around in a 2025 $42,670 Mazda CX-50 Meridian Edition. It’s the fifth-highest of seven CX-50 trims, and it’s the sportiest in appearance, complete with a matteblack hood decal. That. combined with the $450 “Polymetal Gray Metallic” and black

18-inch wheels, gave this CX-50 a purposeful presence.

Another 2025 presser, a $30,680 Volkswagen Jetta, evinced a similar approach. SEL is the top Jetta trim below the raciest GLI, and this one showed up in vivid “Kings Red Metallic” paint ($450 extra) and polished 18-inch wheels. The CX-50’s styling is low-slung, with a flat hood and tall fender flares that draw attention to the flanks, while the Jetta’s carefully evolved sedan contours were sharp and nicely balanced.

Performance from both was respectable. The CX-50 crossover weighs about 700 pounds more than the Jetta sedan, and so it has more power—256 horsepower from its twin-turbo 2.5-liter four, versus 158 from the Jetta’s single-turbo, 1.5-liter four. The smaller Jetta’s engine works well with the eight-speed automatic to keep the turbo boost high, while the CX-50’s six-speed

automatic channeled the engine’s thrust into a more muscular feel.

As with most Volkswagens, the Jetta takes curves well. Steering is sharp, and the firm suspension inspires confidence. Same goes for the CX-50, despite its greater bulk.

Inside, the tested CX-50 Meridian’s “Terra Cotta Leather” interior trim reminded me of a baseball glove, with light-brown seating and door panel surfaces, along with color-keyed diamond-pattern stitching on the dashboard. It’s a bold look that my normally car-blind father called out and admired. The driver’s touch points are amply padded, materials throughout look Lexus-adjacent, and opening the Meridian’s standard panoramic roof changes the interior from dark to bright.

The Jetta has Volkswagen’s typically supportive seats and tightly-limned plastic shaping. It’s a logical design that accurately reflects its Teutonic origin. Tall windows

and the SEL’s big sunroof made this Jetta a pleasantly airy environment. The available brown-accented “Sevilla” upholstery adds a bit of flair, though it’s not offered with the tester’s red exterior finish.

The Mazda’s 10.25-inch infotainment system is compliant enough, with snappy reactions from the console-mounted dial. Physical buttons and knobs for the climate control were easy to use while keeping eyes on the road. The Volkswagen’s eight-inch “floating” center screen was also easily understood, though I’m still getting used to the smooth slider controls for inside temperature and such.

“Fun to drive” is baked into the brand DNAs for Mazda and Volkswagen, and the CX-50 and Jetta succeed in driving a bit more nimbly than the rest.

Philip Ruth is a Castro-based automotive photojournalist and consultant with an automotive staging service.

Auto

Philip Ruth

Sister Dana Sez: Words of Wisdumb from a Fun Nun

By Sister Dana Van Iquity

Sister Dana sez, “Happy HoliGays, and remember to keep the ‘X’ in ‘Xmas’!”

RAINBOW WORLD FUND held its 19th Annual RWF WORLD TREE OF HOPE LIGHTING CELEBRATION at Grace Cathedral on December 9. Thousands of origami cranes inscribed with wishes for the future of the world—from people all over the world—graced the tree. RWF is the world’s first LGBTQ-based humanitarian aid organization. Its mission is to promote peace, unity, and hope by leading the LGBTQ movement in participating in humanitarian relief efforts. Founded in 2000, RWF has donated over $6.5 million of lifesaving aid and provided more than 95,000 volunteers service hours. RWF is all-volunteer run. The evening’s awesome emcee was lovely Juanita MORE!. It featured the Grammy-winning San Francisco Boys Chorus, Cleve Jones, Origami Artist Linda Mihara, The Very Rev. Dr. Malcolm Young exchanging origami cranes with Deputy Consul General of Japan Takeshi Ishihara, the Queer Chorus of San Francisco, Leberta Lorál singing with Tammy Lynne Hall on piano, RWF Founder Jeff Cotter, and three of us Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, Inc., blessing the tree.

Possible Secretary of State Marco Rubio has long opposed same-sex marriage, saying back in 2015 that the Supreme Court’s decision legalizing marriage equality was an example of the “government compelling” people “to sin.” Rubio has said, “There is no way ... that there is a constitutional right to an abortion or a constitutional right to marry someone of the same sex.” He voted against the RESPECT FOR MARRIAGE ACT, a law requiring states and the federal government to recognize same-sex marriages. He reportedly called the law “a stupid waste of time.” Sister Dana sez, “Here is yet another example of the horrific, dangerous, creepy cabinet choices by terrible Trump!”

New Jersey Governor Phil Murphy (D) signed the FREEDOM TO READ ACT into law on December 9, banning libraries and public schools from banning books. The law is not set to take effect for a year, but the New Jersey state librarian and state education commissioner can implement it now as needed. It states that

libraries cannot ban books based on origin, background, or the views presented in the text or by the authors. Librarians are also forbidden from banning texts they disagree with. “Across the nation, we have seen attempts to suppress and censor the stories and experiences of others,” Murphy said in a statement. “I’m proud to amplify the voices of our past and present, as there is no better way for our children to prepare for the future than to read freely.” The law also protects all public library staff “from criminal and civil liability arising from good faith actions performed pursuant to the provisions” of the bill, and provides residents “access to all library material, including diverse and inclusive material.” Sister Dana sez, “This is great news! It’s a beautiful ban on banning books!”

We delighted in the December 11 show that was staged at Feinstein’s at the Nikko, SONGS OF THE SEASON, a quintessential San Francisco holiday-themed cabaret founded by drag personality Donna Sachet and produced by Billboard recording artist Brian Kent as a benefit for PRC . Incredible performances combined tradition and whimsy, accompanied by witty banter. All proceeds helped support PRC’s lifesaving social, legal, and behavioral health services to help the city’s most vulnerable populations. The evening featured so many sweet songsters including Brian Kent, Leanne Borghesi (who spotted me at intermission and insisted I get a complete makeup makeover since I was not dressed as my nun self), along with Marta Sanders (as the co-partner with Borghesi of the sassy duo known as “The Show Broads”), Brian Justin Crum, Charles Jones, and Kenny Nelson ; as well as quite clever Sister Roma (reading her witty, satiric, anti-Trump take on “T’was the Night Before Christmas” poem), violinist Kippy Marks, and Dr. Dee Spencer (on piano). But it was a truly sweet and tearful surprise as the grand finale to see and hear Donna Sachet singing “White Christmas” in person —as she had only just recovered from serious health issues. https://prcsf.org/

Unserialized and untraceable “ghost guns” are in the news after the capture of the gunman who shot the CEO of United Health Care. But these deadly weapons are more prolific than only this shooting, and that’s why the Supreme Court is set to rule on the regulation of ghost guns by this summer. Sister Dana sez, “Ghost guns are REAL guns and must be regulated!

Mayor London Breed held this year’s annual GUN BUY BACK event on December 14, providing a place for people to turn in their weapons—no questions asked—and get guns off the streets and out of communities. SF Police reported that 88 weapons were returned. Good job, Mayor!

As if there were not enough reasons why Pete Hegseth, Trump’s pick for secretary of defense, should be dumped—he said on a 2015 Fox News clip that he believed

out LGBTQ soldiers “erode” the U.S military’s effectiveness and that women in the military shouldn’t serve in combat roles, though he has recently tried to downplay those views to help his chance of winning Republican Senate confirmation. Here are his exact words back then: “What you’re seeing is a military right now that is more interested in social engineering led by this president than they are in war fighting. So, as a result, through ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ and women in the military and these standards, they’re going to inevitably start to erode standards ... and has nothing to do with national security.” Sister Dana sez, “Of course he took it all back—once he realized it would harm his confirmation. But you just know he will surely take back his take-back once safely installed!”

An estimated 6.1% of current military personnel identify as LGBTQ, according to a 2022 study, a percentage that accounts for approximately 126,827 people. If confirmed by the Senate, horrible Hegseth will be partially responsible for reinstating Trump’s ban on out trans military service members. The ban could result in the discharge of anywhere from 2,150 to

(continued on page 46)

Dennis McMillan (aka Sister Dana) with San Francisco Bay Times volunteer coordinator Juan R. Davila at the Toast to the Season holiday party at The Academy SF on Tuesday, December 10.

San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus Holiday Spectacular 2024 at the Sydney Goldstein Theater

The San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus on December 6 and 7, 2024, presented their annual Holiday Spectacular at the Sydney Goldstein Theater. The packed 90-minute performance was filled with festive cheer, unforgettable music, and plenty of humor that had guests laughing out loud and singing along. This year’s theme, “Together,” embodied the spirit of community, love, and connection that poured from the stage in every note.

These performances help usher in the Chorus’ holiday concerts, with the anticipated Home for the Holidays shows set for December 24. For 2024, these final holiday performances of the season will be held at Davies Symphony Hall. This is because the usual “Home,” the Castro Theatre, is still closed for renovations. The performances will take place at 4 pm and 7 pm. There will be a blend of timeless holiday classics, joyful surprises, and the kind of heartfelt moments that make the tickets for this event among the most sought after each year.

https://www.sfgmc.org/welcome/

by Stefan

DANCE BRIGADE (continued from pg 30)

Instead, she said yes.

“I don’t have a new message,” Ferron said. “I’ll be singing It Won’t Take Long, which I wrote in 1983. Audiences are coming out because they’re depressed and they remember that we could get together and make the world a better place, even for 90 minutes. I’m hoping the young and old will come out and create positive energy to respond to the negative message.”

Near, in turn, shared this about her upcoming performances as part of the tour: “I often don’t decide what I will sing until the sound check the day of the concert because I want to speak to what is hovering over the audience. I will certainly sing I Am Willing because that is my hold-me-together song. To remain willing, teachable, openhearted. Those might sound easy to some, but for me, to do them well, they are a life challenge.”

In addition to sets by Near and Ferron, Dance Brigade will perform an excerpt from Keefer’s 2020 The Butterfly Effect, an antiwar piece with dance and Taiko drumming, and a 2017 work paying homage to protest songs from the late 1960s to today with musical direction by Durandy.

Rounding out the cast of musicians and dancers ranging in age from 18 to 75 are Jan Martinelli, Tammy Lynne Hall, Michaelle Goerlitz, Shelley Jennings, Lena Gatchalian, Bianca S. Mendoza-Prado, Deb’e Taylor, Dominique Hargrove,

Frances Sedayao, Fredrika Keefer, Johanna Gormley, Kimberly B Valmore, KJ Dahlaw, Megan Lowe, Sarah Bush, Sierra Tiatia, and Vivian Dai.

Dance Brigade’s 50th Anniversary celebration will continue with the premiere of Match Girl, a fractured fairytale about class struggle and the drug and homeless crisis in San Francisco as it relates to poverty, addiction, skyrocketing housing costs, and the lack of political will to make exacting change. Performances will be held January 19–28.

In November 2025, Dance Mission Theater will mark its 25th anniversary featuring Dance Mission friends and colleagues in a huge performance celebration at a San Francisco venue to be announced. For more information, go to https://bit.ly/49K0q6j

A Woman’s Song for Peace will be performed at various venues in Oregon, January 9–12. The California performances will take place on January 15 at the Center Theatre/ Mendocino College in Ukiah, January 17 at the Luther Burbank Center for the Arts in Santa Rosa, January 18 at the Crocker Theater/Cabrillo College in Aptos, and January 19 at the Herbst Theater in San Francisco. For tickets and information about all tour dates, go to https://bit.ly/4gixLHX

Mary Carbonara is a writer, dancer, choreographer and arts educator in San Francisco.

Photos

Cohen

10,790 trans military members. On a positive note, in a statement against Hegseth’s views, HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN National Press Secretary Brandon Wolf wrote, “Every day, brave military servicemembers get up and courageously protect and defend our country. They put their lives on the line for our freedoms, and they are owed our ironclad gratitude for their sacrifice.”

Military families with transgender children are horrified by the House’s passage of the National Defense Authorization Act, and some servicemembers are now considering leaving the armed forces to protect their kids. The annual military budget contains a provision banning gender-affirming care

for the trans children of military members. The bill passed on December 11, 2024, in a 281–140 vote, with 81 Democratic congressmembers voting in its favor. Sister Dana sez, “I expected nothing less from Repugnican Representatives, but SHAME on those Democrats for such a cowardly, cruel, spineless act!”

THE JANUARY 6TH COMMIT-

TEE bravely fought to uncover the facts and hold terrorist Trump and his cronies accountable for his role in inciting a deadly insurrection against the United States on January 6, 2021. But now that he’ll be back in office, he wants revenge. He said the January 6th Committee should be JAILED Sister Dana sez, “Hey Trump, you are

either living in ‘Upside-down World’ or looking at a mirror—because it is YOU the insurrectionist who should be jailed!”

In other Upside-down World news, Time magazine has named Trump as “Person of the Year.” Sister Dana sez, “There must have been a typo on the cover— because I’m certain it was supposed to say ‘WORST Person of the Year’!”

According to LGBTQ Nation, Democratic leaders in Michigan are putting together a plan to keep their party in power after Democratic Governor Gretchen Whitmer’s second term ends in 2026. Could it be Governor Pete Buttigieg? “I haven’t made any big decisions about my future. And I know that we’ve got six more weeks, and we’re going to sprint through the tape,” Transportation Secretary Buttigieg told reporters at a recent event near Detroit. Sister Dana sez, “You go, girl! Run, Pete, Run! Please do it, Mister B!”

CARNAVAL SAN FRANCISCO is the largest and longest-running multicultural celebration in California, with over 400,000 people in attendance in the Mission District every Memorial Day weekend on every year since 1978. And, on December 12, they held the Grand Opening of “Casa de Carnaval,” their new permanent, brick & mortar home—having been evicted in five different locations since 2009. Mayor London Breed officially cut the colorful ribbon, and they are now located at the Indigenous Peoples Cultural Arts Healing Center at 683 Florida Street in the Mission District. The Carnaval San Francisco theme for 2024 was “Honor Indigenous Roots.” The idea of honoring indigenous heritage has always been part of Carnaval culture.

THE SAN FRANCISCO MIME

TROUPE in cooperation with Z Space presents A RED CAROL , an Activist Adaptation of the Dickens classic. Adapted for the stage and directed by Michael Gene Sullivan , this is a limited engagement with 9 performances only! Now through December 29 at Z Space, 450 Florida Street. https://www.sfmt.org/

Mark your calendar now for the next LEATHER & LGBTQ CULTURAL DISTRICT Town Hall on January 11, 2–4

pm at the Folsom Street Community Center (1286 Folsom Street). Hear about what they have been doing and their plans for the future. The LEATHER & LGBTQ Cultural District exists to represent and support us! They want to hear from us! https://sfleatherdistrict.org/

LYRIC’s programs and services are open to LGBTQQ youth and allies 24 years old and younger. LYRIC’s next Board Meeting is open to the public. They invite interested community members to join them in person on January 14, 6:30–8:30 pm at 127 Collingwood Street in the Castro.

On New Year’s Eve 2014, with the help of so many people, OASIS nightclub was created. Owner and Drag Laureate D’Arcy Drollinger comments, “I will admit, so much has happened in the last decade it feels much longer than 10 years— from not wanting to sell the club and buying out my partners, to almost losing the club during the pandemic, to Heklina’s passing, to name a few.” Sister Dana sez, “ConDragulations, D’Arcy, on such a fabulous club and your Tenth Anniversary!”

The 39th annual JAPANESE NEW YEAR BELL-RINGING CEREMONY at the Asian Art Museum on 200 Larkin Street will happen on December 29 at 1 pm in Samsung Hall. Ring in the New Year by taking a swing at a 2,100-pound, 16th-century Japanese temple bell. Led by Reverend Gengo Akiba , this inspiring ceremony will include a purification ritual and chanting of the Buddhist Heart Sutra. Visitors will have an opportunity to ring the bell to leave behind any unfortunate experiences, regrettable deeds, or ill luck from the year. The bell will be struck 108 times to usher in the New Year and curb the 108 mortal desires that, according to Buddhist belief, torment humankind.

In other New Year News, Sister Dana (also known as Dennis) will usher in his 77th bidet (oops ... I mean “B-day”) on New Year’s Day, January 1, 2025. Oh my! She old. Sister Dana sez, “Instead of making and then soon breaking your New Year’s Resolution, I have the solution: ‘I resolve to be the best me I can be.’ Just try to break THAT ONE!”

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