San Francisco Bay Times - April 16, 2015

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Coming Soon!

Affordable LGBT Senior Housing

Openhouse co-founder Dr. Marcy Adelman with Bill Scherer, Board President, and Seth Kilbourn, Executive Director

PHOTO BY CHRISTOPHER TURNER

Special Section on Openhouse and 55 Laguna Pages 2–5

Photographs courtesy of Openhouse

Openhouse Offers a New Model of Aging in Community

Richardson Hall (left) and the new building to be built at the 55 Laguna location

With construction set to begin at 55 Laguna—a new LGBT-welcoming senior housing development in San Francisco—it is time to celebrate Openhouse, the small yet mighty organization that is making this much needed housing possible. As you’ll soon learn in the articles to follow, Openhouse offers a new model of aging in community.

Let’s face it. Nobody wants to think about aging, but we’re all getting older, and that’s obviously a good thing versus the alternative! We’ll all need

help somewhere along the way, though. We want to live independently in our homes and communities. We want dependable networks and resources.

Community member Jef f Lewy puts it this way: “We haven’t been elders until Jeff Lewy now. Fifty years from now, organizations like Openhouse will be commonplace. But LGBT elder support is a new idea, and we have to figure out how to do it right.”

This is where Openhouse comes in. Certainly it includes projects like 55 Laguna, but Openhouse also of fers va luable ser v ices, programs, awareness, engagement, visibility, cultural competency, independence and so much more. Whether you are a senior now, or are just contemplating what your future as a senior might hold, consider how Openhouse is there to help, and give thanks that such an organization exists right here in San Francisco.

Dr. Marcy Adelman “Let’s get real. The fact is if you live long enough you get old. And just like any other stage in life, you can choose to be deliberate and intentional about how you live it. The Openhouse expansion campaign offers a new model of aging in community that harnesses our personal and collective wisdom, resources and resiliency. An investment in Openhouse is an investment in ourselves and each other in meeting the inevitable challenges and vicissitudes of later life. I invite you to join this pioneering effort.”

Marcy Adelman, PhD, co-founded Openhouse and is a board member. She is a psychologist in private practice and a member of the San Francisco Department of Aging and Adult Services Advisory Committee.

Marcy with Phyllis Lyon on Lyon’s 90’s birthday

Dear Friends, Get out the hard hats and call in the construction crew—we’re ready to start building at 55 Laguna!

Mission Statement of Openhouse

PHOTO BY RINK

Board leaders Sonni Zambino, the late Arthur Hurwith and Cynthia Martin

Former Board member Matile Rothschild and Joan Zimmerman Senator Mark Leno with Judge Vaughn Walker at Spring Fling 2014

“Openhouse is supplying a need for LGBT seniors that is unusual, very important and highly appreciated, I can tell you. So to be recognized by Openhouse is indeed a deep and abiding honor.”

Volunteer coordinator Suzi Kalmus (left) with event volunteers and participants 2

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–Honorable Vaughn Walker

This renovation is the first phase of a twobuilding campus that includes LGBTwelcoming senior housing and a new home for Openhouse. With effective services and consumer-driven programs, we will welcome 1,500 community members in 2015—double the number of people we served just two years ago. Open to all of us no matter where we live in the city, our new home will help us continue to keep pace with growing demand.

By 2030, the number of LGBT older adults in San Francisco will hit 30,000.

That’s a 25% increase. Largely without the kind of all-purpose support that children provide as their parents get older, we must get real. Let’s create what we need to live independently in our homes and communities for many years to come. We’ll all need help, to one degree or another.

Openhouse will be there to help us through whatever challenges we face.

Let’s make it happen.

Please contact me if you’d like to learn more about our new home and plans for the future.

All the best, Seth Kilbourn, Executive Director executivedirector@openhouse-sf.org

PHOTO BY CHRISTOPHER TURNER

Later this month, look for scaffolding and construction signs on the corner of Laguna and Hermann as we begin the 15-month renovation of historic Richardson Hall with our developer partner, Mercy Housing California.

Living at 55 Laguna

By Michelle Alcedo

• Staff offices, private consultation areas, and a multi-purpose conference room

So, here’s the deal. Securing an affordable housing unit in San Francisco is highly competitive, because the selection process is done by lottery. Far more people will apply to live at 55 Laguna than we’ll have units. You therefore need to play to win!

55 Laguna will be warm, welcoming, and historic for our city. Engage your faith communities, your socia l and professional netMichelle Alcedo works, and every LGBT senior who might be interested.

If you know any caregivers, push them to find out about 55 Laguna. Tell your friends to get on the Openhouse mailing list for our monthly newsletter and housing e-blasts. You can sign up at our website: openhouse-sf.org What are the details?

The Openhouse expansion plan also includes: • Launching a new information and assistance program so that whenever we need help with an aging-related challenge—either for ourselves or for someone we care for—our first call will be to Openhouse • Offering a broader range of programs so that more of us—at all levels of income and cross-sections of identity—feel engaged with our communities of choice • Building and strengthening a network of professionals and volunteers to help ensure our independence while keeping us connected to community • Providing more services led and facilitated by peers, who are often the best sources for emotional support and practical assistance

Richardson Hall, at the corner of Hermann

and Laguna, will feature retail space, OpenEligibility to live at 55 Laguna or house offices, and 40 units for seniors other affordable housing programs is based on income and, in the case of senior housing, your age. 55 Laguna 15. Manuel will walk you through the is part of San Francisco’s affordable affordable-housing process and you meet with him one-on-one housing program. The units will RICHARDSON be can also HALL Laguna & Hermann Corner after the SAN FRANCISCO, CA | 5/22/12| MERCYworkshop HOUSING CALIFORNIA to discuss your a mix of studios and one-bedroom specific needs. apartments.

As affordable senior housing, the What should people be doing rents will be $800–$900 per month. now?

By expanding its programs, Openhouse is prepared to support LGBT older adults at all income levels to access the critical services and rich variety of activities that will help us to live well and stay in our homes.

We want to live independently in our homes and communities for many years to come. We want to know that the caregivers we bring into our lives are dependable and will honor our partners and families of choice. We all want strong social networks and a community-based resource we can rely on. That resource is Openhouse.

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For this first building, you must be at least 55 years old with an income no more than 50% of the area median income (AMI). For more details about income limits, visit the Mayor’s Office on Housing and Community Development website at www.sf-moh.org What else?

Come to an Openhouse housing workshop! We offer housing workshops three times a month and a housing resource group every last Monday. Call our Information and Assistance Specialist, Manuel Martinez at (415) 3478509 to reserve your seat at one of our upcoming workshops on May 4, 8 or

People who receive our newsletter and e-blasts stay informed about the ins and outs of affordable housing in the city and will be notified as soon as applications are available for 55 Laguna. We also send out information about other affordable senior housing opportunities. Remember: you can’t expect to win the lottery the first time, but playing increases your chances of winning!

Building for the Future Over the next decade, we want to know that we can turn to an expanded Openhouse for reliable information to connect us with providers who

Michelle Alcedo is the Director of Programs at Openhouse.

Looking to the Future

Openhouse Spanish class

are right for us, who understand our lives and who respect our families. We are planning for the following: • A great hall for parties, dances, community gatherings, and public receptions • A training center for Openhouse volunteers, including hundreds who would offer emotional and practical support to sustain independent living in the community

• Designated activity areas, including a multi-media art room and an exercise space also designed for yoga, dance and meditation • Space for more evening programs and the life enriching, cultural and social activities many of us are looking for today • Resource rooms for health and wellness clinics, housing workshops, and community services

Over the next decade, the number of LGBT people in San Francisco who are 60 and older is predicted to increase by 25% percent to almost 30,000. Openhouse has developed a five-year expansion plan to prepare for this dramatic increase in our numbers. By expanding its own capacity and building new partnerships, Openhouse is also responding to the community’s call for more program and service options that reflect our diverse range of interests and needs.

Health and Wellness Fridays Workshops and seminars are one way that Openhouse reduces barriers to healthcare for LGBT older adults. By addressing common challenges in interactions with healthcare and other service providers, Openhouse helps community members to use the healthcare system to better advantage. Health & Wellness Fridays includes information sessions, special medical topics for discussion, and personal medical consultations.

Art class participant Lynne Eggers BAY T IM ES APR IL 16, 2015

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Coming Home: Conveying a Legacy to Openhouse Openhouse is excited to celebrate a recent pledge of $50,000 from the Coming Home Fund at the Horizons Foundation. Coming Home was a San Francisco institution that established a hospice (currently operated

by California Pacific Medical Center) and a fiduciary services agency for people living with HIV/AIDS and LGBT older adults.

The gift recognizes Openhouse for continuing the legacy of Coming Home through our programs, services and cultural-competency training.

Roger Doughty, Executive Director of Horizons Foundation, says, “It’s been Horizons’ honor to work with the leaders of Coming Home in writing the f inal chapter of the organization’s long, proud history of supporting the San Francisco LGBT community. As they’ve shown from their earliest days right up through

the grant to Openhouse, the people who make up Coming Home are extraordinary and visionary—and their impact of what they’ve done will be felt for many, many years to come.”

Hadley Dale Hall, former CEO of Visiting Nurses and Hospice and current Openhouse board member, says, “It is with special gratitude that Openhouse accepts this gift as a legacy in memory of all of those served by Coming Home.”

Openhouse development director Joel Evans

Supporting LGBT Seniors A gift to Openhouse helps the organization to continue reaching thousands of older LGBT adults and seniors in San Francisco. Through contributions from supporters, Openhouse provides essential services for aging in place, staying healthy, and finding community.

Members of the Openhouse Alliance make a recurring monthly donation of any amount. These gifts provide Openhouse with steady and reliable funding, and make it possible for supporters to give secure and easy-to-set -up donations.

Members of the Openhouse Circle of Friends are dedicated to creating a community of care and hope that will be there for all of us when we need it. By joining the Circle of Friends through annual gifts of $1,000 or more, supporters ensure that Openhouse continues to meet the needs of LGBT seniors today…and tomorrow.

Circle members receive special recognition from Openhouse and other benefits as well.

Openhouse is a nonprofit 501(c)(3) taxexempt organization. All contributions are tax-deductible to the full extent of the law.

Right: The estate of Thomas Dross made a magnificent big check presentation of $100,000 to Openhouse in 2014. Representing the estate were Alfredo Casuso (left) and David Perry (right). Accepting on behalf of Openhouse were executive staff members Joel Evans and Seth Kilbourn (2nd and 3rd from left) and supporter Al Baum (2nd from right). The gift will support the operation and programs of Openhouse by helping to make possible its ongoing services.

Pridebox!

Eric Rodriguez (right) is an organizer of Pridebox, the LGBT volunteer group at Dropbox. Eric and his colleagues first volunteered for the annual Vantage Points art show at Openhouse last fall.

San Francisco Bay Times: What’s special about LGBT older adults?

Eric Rodriguez: LGBT older adults are heroes to me. Many of them fought for the rights of generations that followed, making our lives easier. LGBT older adults are fighters and survivors and we have a lot to learn from them.

San Francisco Bay Times: Why volunteer at Openhouse?

Eric Rodriguez: LGBT seniors have every right to be proud of who they are and live their lives openly, without having to worry about how that can impact their safety or care. Openhouse works every day to create community. That’s priceless and worth supporting, as I know it’s something that I would want around me as I age.

San Francisco Bay Times: Why a volunteer team from Dropbox?

Eric Rodriguez: We want to get involved in the community. We’re excited to keep partnering with Openhouse in whatever way possible.

San Francisco Bay Times: What has volunteering meant for you?

Eric Rodriguez: It makes me appreciate San Francisco more. I came to the city in great part to live my life openly and am interested in getting to know those who came decades before me with the same goal.

The Rx for Community Leadership Sandra Hernández, M.D., is the 2015 recipient of the Openhouse Adelman/ Gurevitch Founder’s Award. As CEO of the San Francisco Foundation, Dr. Hernández led the way in supporting and sustaining Openhouse’s programs, services and housing. She currently serves as President and CEO of the California HealthCare Foundation.

She adds, “Openhouse is an important example of a community organization anticipating the kind of 4

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Trailblazers

James Hormel and his life partner Michael Nguyen are the recipients of Openhouse’s Trailblazer Award, in recognition of their advocacy of human rights and social justice.

Through their political and philanthropic efforts, they have earned na-

tional recognition for uniting people of different backgrounds and perspectives around shared values and mutual interests.

As ambassador to Luxembourg from 1999 to 2000, James Hormel was the

Dr. Sandra Hernandez

rights, policies and programs needed to ensure that LGBT people age with dignity and respect. When I meet community activists who have the courage to do the right thing, I simply figure out how to enable their success.

That is the story with Openhouse.”

PHOTO BY RON ARRIETA PHOTOGRAPHY

Dr. Hernández says, “I learned early in my medical career the value of alternatives to hospitals to help people when they are frail and vulnerable.

During the AIDS crisis I saw new organizations arise out of real need and common humanity. This sensitized me to help support community institutions that meet people where they are.”

Openhouse’s San Francisco Pride Parade contingent

Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi with Ambassador James Hormel and his partner Michael Nguyen

first openly gay man to represent the United States in that capacity. He has served on the board of directors of the American Foundation for AIDS Research and the Human Rights Campaign Foundation, and currently serves on the boards of the San Francisco Foundation, People for the American Way, the Commonwealth Club of California, Grace Cathedral, and the San Francisco Symphony.

In 1995, Hormel funded the creation of the James C. Hormel Gay & Lesbian Center at the San Francisco Public Library. His autobiography, Fit to Serve: Reflections on a Secret Life, Private Struggle, and Public Battle to Become the First Openly Gay U.S. Ambassador, was published in 2011.

Nguyen, a dancer and musician, is an alumnus of Swarthmore College, which Hormel also attended.

Words from Openhouse Supporters Margie Adam As we get older, many LGBT people experience a sense of growing invisibility. We’re not as likely to show up at the marches, conferences, and concerts. We’re less likely to gather. What would draw me out of the nest with my gang would be a set of services and activities that celebrates and rekindles our precious LGBT life experiences. Openhouse is already a national model in this regard, and it’s going to do much more for thousands more of us in the near future.

Margie Adam is a musician, composer and an Openhouse Community Ambassador.

Richard Davis We have to know that caregivers who come to our homes respect us. That’s just one way Openhouse can be there for us when we’re older. None of us knows what kind of help we’re going to need in the years ahead, but we all know that we will need it. I think of Openhouse as a kind of ‘assurance policy.’ I want to assure that Openhouse will be there for me.

Richard Davis is a senior director at BNY Wealth Management and an Openhouse Community Ambassador.

Bertie Brouhard I’ve watched people get nourished in many ways at Openhouse. For a lot of people, it’s a real life preserver.

Looking ahead, we’ve got an ever-growing crowd of LGBT seniors in San Francisco who are going to turn to Openhouse. It’s a wonderful organization, one that deserves to grow and prosper. It needs more space, and it certainly needs more money to expand the work they’re doing.

Bertie Brouhard is a retired corporate executive and an Openhouse Community Ambassador.

Gloria Cavanaugh Most of the agencies serving elders in San Francisco are gay-friendly. Does that mean they go out of their way specifically to provide services and make their programs consistently comfortable for LGBT elders? No. It isn’t their priority. With its singular purpose to support the LGBT community, Openhouse is a unique and powerful advocate within the broader network of aging-related services. The visibility of Openhouse and LGBT seniors will be even more necessary in the years ahead.

Gloria Cavanaugh was the president and CEO of the American Society on Aging for 31 years and serves on the Openhouse Board of Directors.

Shireen McSpadden The idea of providing for LGBT older adults is relatively new, and we are one of the few cities in the country with a robust program—especially thanks to Openhouse. All of us are well served by organizations that can effectively meet people where they are today while planning for what their communities will look for tomorrow. Openhouse does that. Its growth over the last five years has made a huge difference and I have no doubt that the next five will be even bigger.

Shireen McSpadden is deputy director of the San Francisco Department of Aging and Adult Services and a member of the Openhouse Circle of Friends.

Gladwin Solomon Going to Openhouse makes my life more meaningful. And it definitely takes me away from feeling isolated because I’ve made lots of friends there. Sometimes I go two or three times a week for my men’s group, exercise classes and yoga, and also for meals. It’ll be great when the new Openhouse facility opens because it will be larger and have rooms designed for the specific kinds of activities we do.

Gladwin Solomon is an Openhouse participant.

Section photos by Rink, Pete Betancourt, Rick Gerharter, Johnny Sanphillippe, Christopher Turner Photography and Openhouse staff.

To volunteer, contact Suzi at suzi@openhouse-sf.org

Workshops - 1st Mondays and 2nd & 3rd Fridays

Art Works - 300 works of art for sale: www.openhouse-sf.org/ artworks

Contact Manuel Martinez: 415-347-8509 or manuel@ openhouse-sf.org

Private viewing reservations: Richard Bolingbroke at info@openhouse-sf.org

Event programs include Photography Studio, Meditation and Tai Chi, Classic Movies, Poetry Salon, Rainbow Lunch, Games Day, Art Group, Always Active and Japanese History. Contact Fairley Parson for info: 415-728-0193 or fairley@openhousesf.org

How to Contact Openhouse info@openhouse-sf.org 415-296-8995 Online: www.openhouse-sf.org Facebook.com/openhousesf Flickr/photos/openhouse-sf Youtube/user/openhousehousing@openhouseSF

Fridays, meet privately with Nurse Susan Langdon in the afternoon at Openhouse. Call for an appointment: 415-347-8509 Find out about more events and services at www.openhouse-sf.org

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In the News

By Dennis McMillan

SF AIDS Foundation to Open New Health & Wellness Center The San Francisco Bay Times was privileged to attend a sneak peek inside the San Francisco AIDS Foundation’s new Center for Health & Wellness at 474 Castro Street where remarks by CEO Neil Giuliano, Executive Director Tim Patriarca, and others were made regarding the goal of getting to zero HIV transmissions in the Bay Area.

Currently 16,000 people are living with AIDS in the City, which has the highest concentration of infections than anywhere in the United States. They expect to open their doors “around Summerish,” when the entire front will be a glass wall allowing total visibility. They also took pride in the new mobile HIV testing unit parked outside. sfaf.org Equality California Launches Grassroots Campaign for Clinton for President Equality California became the nation’s first major LGBTQ organization to endorse Hillary Clinton. With 800,000 members, Equality California is America’s second largest LGBTQ civil rights organization and has launched “EQCA for Hillary,” a grassroots campaign to mobilize its members to support her candidacy and help her win. Throughout her career, Secretary Clinton has been a champion for the queer community. Among her many accomplishments for queers, she made LGBTQ rights a priority in U.S. foreign policy and directed the State Department to champion a comprehensive human rights agenda that included protection of LGBTQ human rights. Not only is the Supreme Court at stake, but also her election is crucial to backstop the potential targeting of the LGBTQ community by the current anti-equality Congress. eqca.org GLSEN Encourages International Day of Silence for LGBTQ Students On April 17, Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) is sponsoring an international Day of Silence. What started as a class project is now an international movement. Each year students from around the globe come together in solidarity to raise awareness of LGBTQ issues in school. They take a vow of silence to highlight the negative experiences some LGBTQ students face in their school communities and the silencing effects of bullying and harassment. Their motto is: “Strength in numbers. Solidarity in silence.” Students from more than 8,000 middle and high schools, colleges and universities in every state and 70 countries around the world have participated in the past. Students are also urged to use social networking taking selfies with signs and posting them. dayofsilence.org Castro Cares Programs Making a Difference for Homeless Castro Cares, the pilot program aimed at addressing neighborhood quality-of-life issues and homeless outreach, has just completed its first month of intensive, dedicated services in the Castro & Upper Market district helping people at risk, living on the street. Homeless outreach services continue as currently 392 outreach contacts have been made throughout the district. 67% (264) of these contacts resulted in positive engagements, and 33% (128) refused all offers of services. Of these 264 - 134 people were referred to services including: Mental Health, Substance Use, Medical, Navigation Center, Food, and Project Homeless Connect. Castro Cares is holding a fundraiser this evening, from 5-8pm, at 555 Castro Street. castrocbd.org Richmond/Ermet AIDS Foundation Broadens Community Giving Focus

MARCH 14–JULY 19, 2015

Legion of Honor Lincoln Park • legionofhonor.org This exhibition is organized by The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York.

President’s Circle: The Estate of Merrill and Hedy Thruston. Conservator’s Circle: The Diana Dollar Knowles Fund. Benefactor’s Circle: The Lisa and Douglas Goldman Fund and the Estate of Harriet E. Lang. Patron’s Circle: Mr. and Mrs. William Hamilton and Jim and Arlene Sullivan. Additional support provided through proceeds from The Art of Fashion: Runway Show and Luncheon.

Media Sponsors Charles James, “Tree” ball gown, 1955. Silk taffeta and tulle. Brooklyn Museum Costume Collection at The Metropolitan Museum of Art, Gift of the Brooklyn Museum, 2009; Gift of Mrs. Douglas Fairbanks Jr., 1981.

Image © The Metropolitan Museum of Art

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The Richmond/Ermet AIDS Foundation is expanding its giving parameters for the community and will now be known as The Richmond/ Ermet Aid Foundation. While REAF will continue to focus on supporting the fight against AIDS until there is cure, it will expand to include community programs targeting hunger and disenfranchised youth. Capitalizing on their 20-year history of successful fundraising through quali-

ty events, REAF’s board members feel they can also make a difference by supporting programs that provide food for the needy and support homeless, disadvantaged young people. richmondermet.org Former Richmond Cop Sues Chief, Claiming Sexual Harassment The city of Richmond and its police chief, Chris Magnus, have been sued by a former police officer who says the chief made sexual advances toward him and then retaliated when the overtures were rebuffed. Thomas Hauschild, 44, a former officer who spent eight years with the Richmond Police Department before being fired by the agency in December 2013, said that Magnus, who is gay and married, inappropriately touched him while the officer was assigned to work surveillance and protection detail outside the chief ’s home. The lawsuit, filed recently in U.S. District Court in San Francisco, alleges the chief then retaliated against the officer by launching a biased internal affairs investigation that led to his firing. contracostatimes.com Medical Aid-in-Dying Bill Clears Senate Judiciary Committee The California Senate Judiciary Committee has approved the End of Life Option Act (SB 128). This is the second legislative victory for the bill, which would allow terminally ill Californians the option to request a prescription from their doctor to painlessly and peacefully shorten their dying process. The passage of the California bill in the Senate Judiciary Committee comes just two weeks after the Senate Health Committee approved SB 128 by a 6-2 vote. The next vote on the bill will take place before the Senate Appropriations Committee prior to consideration by the full Senate. National and state polls consistently show the vast majority of Americans across the demographic and political spectrum want full options for their medical treatment at the end of life. California voters support the medical option of aid in dying by more than a 2-1 margin (64 percent vs. 24 percent). compassionandchoices.org Bill Gives Homeless Youth Access to High School Equivalency Exams Homeless youth across California would have greater access to the high school proficiency and equivalency exams under new legislation introduced by Senator Mark Leno (D-San Francisco). Senate Bill 252 would prohibit the Department of Education or testing companies from charging an exam fee to young people who are homeless - many being LGBTQ. Exam fees, which cost up to $200, can create an impossible obstacle for homeless youth who wish to further their education and enhance their job prospects. SB 252 gives disadvantaged young people a better chance to earn higher wages so they can lead productive lives as adults. SB 252 is co-sponsored by the California Coalition for Youth, Housing California and National Association for the Education of Homeless Children and Youth. It is also co-authored by a bipartisan group of lawmakers, including Assemblymembers David Chiu and Phil Ting, both of San Francisco, and Assemblymember Catharine Baker, R-San Ramon.

New Poll Shows Ammiano Leading Wiener in SF State Senate Race A new poll conducted by David Binder Associates and paid for by the Harvey Milk LGBT Democratic Club indicates former Assemblyman Tom Ammiano is leading in popularity for the State Senate 11th District seat over Supervisor Scott Wiener, both of whom are rumored to be eying candidacy in the upcoming race. Ammiano filed a campaign account for the 2016 State Senate 11th District race, a seat now held by Mark Leno, though Ammiano has indicated he is still unsure if he is running. Wiener has gone on record as saying he’s eying the seat, and insiders say Supervisor Jane Kim is rumored to be looking to run as well.

Tenants Together Say Yes to Rent Control With rents rising astronomically in the Bay Area and beyond, “rent control” is no longer a dirty word; it’s a necessity, says Tenants Together, California’s Statewide Organization for Renters’ Rights. Only a handful of cities in the region have a rent control ordinance, which protects tenants from rent gouging and ensures landlords receive a fair return on their investment.

While policy wonks dispute the “efficiency” of such measures, protections like this are wildly popular with residents and effective on the ground in stabilizing neighborhoods.

Grassroots groups all over the Bay Area have been organizing recently to make their voices heard. Californians overwhelmingly support rent control. The last referendum on rent control - Proposition 98 in 2008 was decided against landlords by a 22-point margin statewide. Support continues to grow as people see landlords imposing massive rent increases during an affordable housing crisis. rentsandrants.blogspot.com Bay Area Mayors and Others Lift Travel Ban San Francisco Mayor Edwin M. Lee was joined by Oakland Mayor Libby Schaaf, Portland Mayor Charlie Hales and Seattle Mayor Ed Murray in lifting their cities’ respective bans on City-funded travel to Indiana following Indiana’s adoption of an amended Religious Freedom Restoration Act. While not perfect, the changes made to Indiana’s Religious Freedom Restoration Act represent a step in the right direction, says Mayor Lee. He says he believes strongly that Indiana, like many states around the country, must still add more protections to prevent discrimination against its LGBT communities, and has decided to lift San Francisco’s restrictions on publicly-funded City employee travel to the State of Indiana with the hope and expectation that progress on civil rights for all Americans will continue. He also applauds cities like Indianapolis, which have taken these steps at the local level, and Indianapolis Mayor Greg Ballard, who has been a consistent champion for equality during this whole debate. sfgov.org Supervisor Wiener to Introduce Ordinance Mandating Water Reuse Systems Addressing the ongoing drought, Supervisor Scott Wiener will introduce legislation to require onsite water reuse systems – for example, gray water and storm water recapture systems – in new developments and to push city departments to use non-potable water for all cleaning and irrigation of public spaces within the next five years. Increasing the use of non-potable water will decrease the use of Hetch Hetchy drinking water for irrigation and toilet flushing. The ordinance will require onsite water reuse systems in large developments in certain areas of the City and require all developments throughout the City to go through a water reuse analysis with the Public Utilities Commission. The ordinance also will set city policy that all irrigation and cleaning of public spaces should be done with non-drinking water within the next five years. sfgov.org New Bay Area Bike Share Proposal Expands Across Bay Area San Francisco Mayor Edwin M. Lee, Oakland Mayor Libby Schaaf, San Jose Mayor Sam Liccardo, Berkeley Mayor Tom Bates and Emeryville Mayor Ruth Atkin have announced a proposal working together with the Metropolitan Transportation Commission (MTC) to expand the Bay Area Bike Share program, increasing the number of bikes in Bay Area Bike Share from 700 to 7,000, and growing the program from a successful pilot to a robust transportation option for Bay Area residents, at no cost to taxpayers.

Under the proposal, bike share station locations would be developed in consultation with residents and local businesses, through a series of open forums and outreach events. Twenty percent of stations would be placed in MTC-designated Communities of Concern, putting equity at the core of the program’s design as it expands throughout the region.

Discounted passes would also be made available to customers enrolled in Bay Area utility lifeline programs. sfgov.org

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Male Rage

Examined Life Tom Moon, MFT Q: I’m really worried about my anger.

I have a terrible temper that makes me explode at people, and I can’t control it. In August I had to leave a job because of it, and it seems to be getting worse. Lately I’ve had some ugly scenes with my partner, and he spent last weekend at a friend’s house because he was afraid to be alone with me. I’ve never hit him, but he thinks I will eventually, and the way things

are going, he might be right. I love him and don’t want to lose him, and I need to do something to get this anger under control quick. How do I do it?

tudes and convictions that predispose you to rage, and appropriate ways to express anger. There are also some excellent books on the subject.

problem can give their full attention to their anger in a safe setting, it often suddenly transforms into deep grief and sadness.

A: If your anger is disrupting both your work life and your relationship, then it’s an urgent problem. You’ve already taken the first and most important step in coming to terms with it. You seem to understand that the problem is your rage, not the people who “provoke” you. This insight is a prerequisite for any change.

Getting your behavior under control is the first step, but my second suggestion is that you also find a competent psychotherapist as soon as possible, and begin exploring your rage in more depth. When men tell me that they need to work on their anger, I sometimes suspect that anger is, in a sense, the feeling they need to work on the least. For many men, anger is the emotion to which they have the easiest access, and it’s the feeling that they’re best at expressing. It’s what underlies their anger—their grief, fear, sadness, confusion, and loneliness—to which they have less access, and their rage often functions as a kind of shield that protects them from experiencing these vulnerabilities.

These feelings, in turn, are often connected with memories of abuse, humiliation, or neglect at the hands of parents or caregivers. When I work with men who are outwardly enraged, bullying and intimidating toward others, we almost always locate within them a hurt and frightened little boy who was abused in exactly the way that they, as adults, are abusive toward others.

I have three suggestions. If you’re in danger of assaulting the man you love, then getting your behavior under control is your f irst priority. I suggest you do an Internet search for anger management classes in your area. Many hospitals, community mental health agencies, and private therapists teach these skills. In anger management you’ll learn a lot of useful techniques for heading off the destructive effects of your rages—such as stress reduction, ways of identifying and changing the mistaken atti-

The paradox is that, for many men, attending to their anger is the road into these deeper feelings. I regularly find that, when men with a rage

Typically, they’re ashamed of this inner child because he’s “weak,” and unconsciously treat him with the same attitude of contempt with which their pain was treated when they were children. If they can get past their shame at having been so vulnerable, and connect with the hurt child they once were, something new becomes possible in their lives. Their contempt for “weakness” in themselves and others transforms into empathy

and compassion for their own pain, as well as a deeper understanding of the suffering of the people around them.

Men have a great deal of love to offer, and when they access it, they feel that they’re more true to themselves and more deeply connected with others. That is the ultimate solution to chronic rage.

Everything I’ve written so far applies both to gay and to straight men, but many gay men carry a unique well of inner rage, which is the consequence of the shame they are often made to feel in the process of growing up in a straight male dominated world. The Velvet Rage, by gay clinical psychologist Alan Downs, is immensely popular in the gay community because it discusses this issue with rare clarity and insight. My third suggestion is that you pick up a copy of this valuable resource and read it carefully.

Tom Moon is a psychotherapist in San Francisco. To learn more, please visit his website at tommoon.net

SF AIDS Foundation’s 474 Castro Opening The San Francisco AIDS Foundation’s new 474 Castro location, the Center for Health & Wellness, held its preview opening on March 31. Among the VIP attendees were Mayor Ed Lee as well as SF Supervisors Malia Cohen and Scott Wiener. Neil Giuliano, the organization’s CEO, welcomed guests to the new building that will be the home for Magnet, Stonewall Project and Stop AIDS Project.

Additional programs to be operated from the new site include events of Positive Force, Bridgemen, The DREAAM Project for African American LGBT individuals aged 18–30, and the 50-Plus Network for gay, bisexual and trans men aged 50 and older.

PHOTO BY RINK

The opening culminated more than four years of work and planning. With this new resource and other efforts, SF AIDS Foundation hopes to dramatically reduce the annual occurrence of new HIV infections in San Francisco.

Neil Giuliano

Recognized for doing what comes naturally.

St. Mary’s Has Been Awarded the Healthgrades Distinguished Hospital Award for Excellence Two Years in a Row. If you’re looking for a hospital where you’ll be treated with kindness and award-winning care, you don’t need to look far. At St. Mary’s Medical Center, we’ve received the Healthgrades Distinguished Hospital Award for Clinical Excellence™ two years in a row—because caring for our community with expertise and kindness means everyone wins.

Learn more at stmarysmedicalcenter.org.

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SF Bay Times, Half Page: 10.25” wide x 8” high

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Financial Checklist for Your Fifties written financial plan with guidelines for you and your family can help make them easier.

Money Matters Brandon Miller While 50 may be the new 40 in terms of lifestyle, vitality and longevity, it’s important to take a more earnest and pragmatic approach toward your longterm financial health than you may have in your 40s. Retirement may have felt far away a decade ago, but now it’s approaching rapidly. Many people in their 50s also feel the financial pressure of being part of the “sandwich generation,” a growing group of individuals who simultaneously support their adult children and aging parents in addition to saving for their own financial goals. Here are a few financial tips for people who are in their 50s.

1. Organize your financial priorities. At this point, saving aggressively for retirement should be at the top of your list. You likely still have other financial obligations, but it is critical that you don’t put retirement on the back burner. Try to find a balance between funding your family members’ needs—like college or assisted living expenses—and your personal savings.

These decisions are often difficult, and may seem overwhelming, but having a

2. Kick your savings into high gear. If you’re already saving for retirement but have the ability to increase the amount you’re contributing to your 401(k) or IRA— do it! Know the maximum contribution you’re allowed to make each year, adjust what you’re saving accordingly and ensure you’re taking full advantage of your company’s matching program.

If your savings are lacking, don’t panic, but recognize that you might have some catching up to do. The good news is, after age 50 you can make catch-up contributions to most retirement plans.

3. Calculate what you’ll need for retirement. Set aside some time to determine the expenses you’ll likely incur during retirement. Keep in mind that the financial impact of healthcare costs and long-term care can be sizable—and that with the average lifespan increasing, you may need to rely on your retirement savings for 30 year or longer. Though they shouldn’t replace the advice of a professional advisor, online resources like a retirement savings calculator can provide a baseline to get you started.

4. Be realistic. Retirement may be a possibility for you within five or 10 years, or it could be more distant.

Regardless, now is the time to evaluate what you will spend your money on once you’ve retired and to discuss your retirement plans with your family. If you have a spouse or significant other, set goals together and make sure your plans are aligned. Consider where you might live, whether you plan to travel or work part-time. If you find that

your retirement expenses are largely out of reach, adjust your savings, or make some decisions about how you’ll prioritize your goals.

5. Anticipate bumps in the road.

Your role as a parent and a child is never ending, but as your family grows and changes, so should the level of financial support you provide. Have candid conversations with any family member you’re supporting financially and set realistic expectations. If your adult children or aging parents need help making healthy money decisions, provide advice but resist opening your pocketbook if it will put your own financial security in jeopardy. Also, be prepared for changes that may impact your plans, such as an early retirement offer or unexpected illness. While these can be difficult to prepare for, thinking through a variety of scenarios and establishing contingency plans can help ensure you’re financially secure in any situation.

There are many milestones you might encounter during your 50s, like becoming an empty-nester, a grandparent or dealing with the death of a parent—and all these things may have an impact on your finances. If you haven’t already started working with a financial advisor, consider doing so. A professional can help you navigate the complexities of estimating what you’ll need in the years to come, and help you organize, plan and save—regardless of what might come your way.

Brandon Miller, CFP, is a financial consultant at Brio Financial Group, A Private Wealth Advisory Practice of Ameriprise Financial Inc. in San Francisco, specializing in helping LGBT individuals and families plan and achieve their financial goals.

Unassuming Exteriors that Belie Interior Comforts gas-powered sedan starts at $22,925, including destination charge. The CR-V starts a bit higher, as most crossovers do, at $24,325. You could spend less on a competitor, but few others would have the Honda’s traditionally high resale value.

These test cars were well equipped.

The four-cylinder Accord EX-L with Navigation came in just under $31K.

Auto Philip Ruth As we single LGBTs hit the bars and the apps to find our special someone, we put our best feet forward to make a good first impression. With some, the cracks behind the facade begin to show quickly. With others, you may f ind an unassuming exterior with an inner depth that makes you want more.

H AVA N A N I G H T S Join Lambda Legal’s Bay Area Leadership Council and supporters for a fabulous night in San Francisco!

Friday, April 17, 2015, 6:00 - 11:00 PM City View at Metreon 135 Fourth Street, San Francisco, CA

This week’s Honda Accord and CR-V are like the latter, with familiar styling wrapping mechanicals and interiors that are as appealing as any you’d find.

Contact Jennifer Bing at 415.800.8127 or info@bing-sf.com

Many buyers agree; both the midsized Accord sedan and crossover CR-V are top sales performers in their respective fields, and so neither attracts much curbside attention. Accords like this one are everywhere, and the CR-V’s extensive upgrading for 2015 is concealed within a recognizable shape. If they were guys on an app, they’d be the ones you see several times before you think, ‘Well, he’s handsome enough; let’s see what he has to say.’

For more information about sponsorship and tickets, visit lambdalegal.org/sfsoiree2015

/lambdalegal @LambdaLegal #sfs15

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Both the Accord and CR-V are accessible. You can have the Accord sedan as a hybrid or plug-in hybrid, and the

memory driver’s seat and power tailgate will be unexpected treats.

The CR-V is also Honda’s platform for rolling out the Honda Sensing suite of preventative safety features.

It’s a combination of camera and radar information-gathering along with forward-collision warnings and active braking. These features will become common across all cars by the end of the decade, and they worked well in this CR-V. They had just enough sensitivity to mark real threats while not being freaked out by San Francisco’s drastic altitude changes.

Over the road, the Accord is still the nimble star it has always been. It feels so good that you’re tempted to push its l i m it s ever y t i me you drive. This new CR-V has a little less of that enthusiasm it seems it has been tamped down a bit by the new refinements.

That’s about $4K less than the Touring V6, which brings such upscale hallmarks as Adaptive Cruise Control and LED headlights. The CR-V was the top all-wheel drive Touring at $33,600.

The Accord has received a steady dribble of luxury features, and for 2015, the CR-V finally gets its share.

If you’re accustomed to thinking of the CR-V as purely utilitarian transportation, then the Touring’s 10-way

But just as you wouldn’t expect exotic behavior from a J. Crew-wearing dude on an app, most buyers aren’t looking for driving hijinks from either of these Hondas. That the Accord provides them is reason enough to swipe right on it, just as safety has become the CR-V’s focus. Neither the Accord or CR-V is a head-turner, but they could be satisfyingly steady companions for years to come.

Philip Ruth is a Castro-based automotive photojournalist and consultant at www.gaycarguy.com. Check out his automotive staging service at www.carstaging.com

City College Update, State Senate Polling and the Year of the Woman

Rafael Mandelman Some Good News from City College Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi and Mayor Ed Lee dropped by City College’s Downtown Center at 4th and Mission on April 7th to tour the facilities and help draw attention to the opening of registration for the College’s summer semester. After years of challenges, City College remains open and accredited, but our enrollment is way down, which will create a host of new challenges if we cannot turn the trend around. The April 7th press event was an opportunity to highlight a few of the College’s excellent career and technical education programs, including our culinary, fire sciences, nursing and automotive programs.

Meanwhile, the State of California recently awarded $3 million to the College in support of Bridge to Success, a collaborative effort among

The College’s Speech and Debate Team has been garnering some nice media coverage as it picks up awards and prizes at competitions around the State and beyond. Indeed, City College’s team is ranked first in our region, which includes California, Nevada and Hawaii, and just this month our students competed and won awards at the National American Forensics Association National Individual Events Tournament, the most prestigious speech tournament in the country.

Finally, City College’s bond rating, which was downgraded at the height of the accreditation crisis in 2013, has been working its way back up, allowing the College to refinance its bond debt. That refinancing will save in the neighborhood of $40 million, money that will be returned to the San Francisco taxpayers in lower property tax bills. You are welcome, San Francisco taxpayers.

showed District 9 Supervisor David Campos four points ahead of Wiener; in a match-up against District 6 Supervisor Jane Kim, Wiener apparently starts the race 5 points ahead.

Year of the Woman Kim would start a Senate campaign with the lowest public profile of the four, but her campaign could be strengthened in a year when Hillary Clinton is all but certain to be the Democratic nominee for President and voters may be inclined to try to bring a little gender equity down the ticket as well. San Francisco has not had a female representative in the State legislature since Mark Leno defeated Carole Migden back in 2008.

PHOTOSOURCE: HILLARYCLINTON.COM

A San Francisco Kind of Democrat

CCSF, San Francisco Unified School District, the Mayor’s Off ice, San Francisco State, and the community.

Bridge to Success, already in operation at City College, aims to double the number of youths who achieve college credentials in San Francisco. The award of the grant means the program not only can continue keeping local students on track, but also has funds to expand offerings, making the program even better.

San Francisco State’s Metro College Success Program (Metro), a joint program of State and City College, also received one of the highly competitive $3 million grants.

On Sunday, April 12, former first lady and secretary of state Hillary Rodham Clinton officially announced that she is running for president. The much anticipated announcement was made in a video posted to her campaign website. Shortly thereafter, she began a road trip, starting with a visit to Iowa, where she attended a series of events. The presumptive Democratic front-runner, however, is not planning any major campaign rallies until next month.

The work of rebuilding the College remains far from complete, but it’s a treat to have some good news to share.

A Wide Open Senate Race The Harvey Milk Club’s recent poll testing the relative strengths of various candidates for San Francisco’s State Senate seat next year confirmed that Tom Ammiano, even out of elected office, remains one of the

most popular public figures in San Francisco. In a hypothetical matchup against District 8 Supervisor Scott Wiener, the poll apparently showed Ammiano ahead by 14 points. Not to say that a tireless campaigner like Wiener could not close that gap, but all else being equal, it’s better to be the guy entering the race with a double-digit lead. In other hypothetical match-ups, the poll apparently

Meanwhile, for the first time in my memory, most of the leading progressive candidates for the Board of Supervisors next year are likely to be women: School Board Commissioner and fourth generation Chinese American Sandra Lee Fewer in District 1, David Campos’ widely respected aide Hillary Ronen in District 9, and queer Latina mom, former District Director for Tom Ammiano and current Political Director of SEIU 1021 Kimberly Alvarenga in District 11. Since the advent of District elections in 2000, the most prominent progressive politicians in San Francisco have been straight men (too often, badly behaved ones).

2016 could be the year that changes, and not a moment too soon.

Rafael Mandelman is an attorney for the City of Oakland. He is also President of the City College of San Francisco Board of Trustees.

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Round About - San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus - PASSION Photos by Steven Underhill stevenunderhill.com

Hardly a dry eye remained at Davies Symphony Hall as Dr. Tim Seelig, Artistic Director/Conductor, brought the concert entitled PASSION to a close on Thursday evening, April 2.

The evening’s powerful program featured the world premiere performance of chorus member Steve Huffines’ composition, My Friend, My Lover: Five Walt Whitman Songs, putting to music a song cycle of texts by Whitman, who is often named as the greatest gay poet of all times.

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A highlight for many in the audience was the world premiere of #twitterlieder: 15 Tweets in 3 Acts, with members of the Chorus presenting choreographed cameos to accompanying each. Favorites cited by the San Francisco Bay Times team attending were Tweets entitled Birthday! and Mom. The final segment was the San Francisco premiere of Jake Heggie’s opera For a Look or a Touch, a work addressing oppression of gay men during the Nazi era, performed with the Chorus by guest artists Morgan Smith and Kip Niven.

Next concert: “Elton: The Sing-Along” - June 26-27 at the Nourse Theater.

Sister Dana Sez: Words of Wisdumb from a Fun Nun Person Drawn Toward Me?” with fun choreography added, as well as the more serious “City of Friends,” the jazzy R&B style “Native Moments,” and the powerful “Earth! My Likeness.”

By Sister Dana Van Iquity Sister Dana sez, “Did everyone make the deadline for IRS taxes? Ya know, if we only vote for that fool Rand Paul, he will do away with the IRS - and Social Security and Medicare and Obamacare and the poor - so no worries, riiiiiiiiiight?! Ya sure!”

SAN FRANCISCO GAY MEN’S CHORUS presented PASSION, a glorious Two Act choral feast for eyes and ears at Davies Symphony Hall.

The evening began with “The Singing Heart” sung by impressive baritone Bob Chilcott. It was followed by the abundantly joyful “How Can I Keep From Singing” by The Chorus.

“Dedication” had music by Richard Burchard and text by Mark Twain.

It was adapted from a poem by Robert Richardson written on Twain’s daughter’s tombstone.

Next came a beautiful song cycle—My friend, My Lover: Five Walt Whitman Songs—set to texts by Walt Whitman, a man some consider the greatest gay poet of all times - even though he lived in the 19th century. His poetry was filled with imagery about love and loving men, and it was sung with palpable passion. The song cycle, composed by SFGMC singer Steve Huffines, included “We Two Boys Together Clinging,” and “Are You the New

A third piece, #twitterlieder - or “twitter songs” - was 15 tweets set to music expressing an entire lifetime of passions - each with only 140 characters to tell its story - ranging from the tears of joy by a young boy on his birthday to the tears of bittersweetness as youth passes into old age. The music was by James Eakin III, and the lyrics were

by Charles Anthony Silvestri.

Each tweet was illustrated by different dancers. The piece was aptly first sung at Twitter headquarters.

Act II was Jake Heggie’s For a Look or a Touch, with music by Jake Heggie and libretto by Gene Scheer. The piece is a most passionate love story about a Nazi homosexual concentration camp survivor. He is visited six decades later by the spirit of his dead boyfriend who was killed at Auschwitz.

The beauty and power of their love transcended, not just discrimination, but also torture, and even death. It was sung by the Chorus with Morgan Smith as the ghost visiting Kip Niven, the elderly Holocaust survivor.

SFGMC and Hadleigh Adams concluded the evening with the very moving “Epilogue: The Narrow Bridge” from Tyler’s Suite, with music by Jake Heggie, lyrics by Pamela Stewart, and orchestration by Carl Pantle. It was a gorgeous night of music and drama!

Sister Dana sez, “Be sure to come back for more SFGMC on June 26th & 27th to sing along with Elton John favorites at Nourse Theater. sfgmc.org

THE SISTERS OF PERPETUAL INDULGENCE, INC. presented our annual EASTER ANNIVERSARY PARTY IN THE PARK, known this year as #WTFMARY!?

HUNKY JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL! Held in Golden Gate Park, the event featured live entertainment emceed by Kitty Tapata & Mutha Chucka. Sister Roma & Sister Dana emceed the Bonnet Contest (giving us the 4th time winner, Disturbia, in a giant decorated chapeau that could have been a float - that’s how wide and tall it was), the Foxy Mary Contest (with a real-life 9-months pregnant contestant about to give birth and thus easily winning), and the Hunky Jesus Contest with “Baby Jesus” portrayed by Mark Root in nothing but a diaper, crown of thorns, and baby bottle (which he squirted down his bare chest). The Sisters raised almost $4,000 for our charities.

The wacky adventures of Edina and Patsy continue in Season Two of ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS running April through June at The Exit Theatre. Directed by Christian Heppinstall and produced by Royal British Comedy Theatre, the live performances perfectly ape Ab Fab TV episodes. It’s too late to catch the April shows, but May shows, Morocco and New Best Friends, are May 15th, 16th, 22nd, and 23rd, 8pm. The April main cast was raucous Edina (Terry McLaughlin), pill-popping boozer Patsy (ZsaZsa Lufthansa), uptight daughter Saffy (Dene Larson), ditzy Bubble & Magda (Raya Light), old Gran (Lisa Appleyard), and Sarah & Fleur (Ginorma Desmond). Exit Theatre is the perfect, intimate venue with images screened on the back wall.

And to get you in the proper Ab Fab tipsy state, the actors serve you compli-

mentary airplane bottles of Stoli, sweetiedarling! In the Hospital episode, Edina and Patsy make life hell for the nurses and staff. Patsy’s face peel is a frightening disaster. While anesthetized, Edina dreams that she’s on her deathbed and is receiving farewell visits from idealized versions of her family and friends. Which leads into the Death episode, where Edina’s father has died. Gran is taking it in her stride, Saffron is beside herself with grief, but Edina doesn’t seem bothered a bit.

Eventually, the reality of the situation hits her: it dawns on her that some day she is going to die. Though banned from the funeral, Pats and Eddie still crash it, and drunkenly fall into the grave. Absolutely brill! theexit.org BAREFOOT WINERY Ambassador RANDY ARNOLD celebrated 25 years bringing the delicious wines and champagnes across the nation and to 90 countries - many times for charity events, many being LGBTQ-related.

Using his degree in wine marketing and bubbling personality, Arnold spreads cheer wherever he goes.

Married to Greg in 2008, they make their home in Oakland but frequently retreat to Sonoma wine country. The LGBT Community Center threw a party for Arnold as a fundraiser for the Center. Center Executive Director Rebecca Rolfe spoke of her 12 years at the Center. Founders Michael Houlihan & Bonnie Harvey told lovely stories of how Arnold has appealed to the queer community working 3,000 LGBTQ/HIV/AIDS benefits just last year. Jennifer Wall talked about the joy of working with Arnold for 20 years, and mentoring new “Barefooters.” Gallo Wine CEO Joe Gallo also praised Arnold. Comic Marga Gomez did a very fun and funny standup routine about Arnold

and Barefoot. Pride Parade President Gary Virginia thanked Arnold for all his work with the Parade Committee events, and Donna Sachet joined Gary in lauding Arnold for his participation in their annual Positive Resource Center Pride Brunch fundraiser. Arnold summed up his 25 years, saying, “Time flies when you’re having fun!”

CUMMING UP! LAMBDA LEGAL presents SAN FRANCISCO SOIREE on Friday, April 17th, 6pm. Join Lambda Legal’s Bay Area Leadership Council for a fabulous night in San Francisco. The theme is HAVANA NIGHTS Mojitos, Mambos, and More!

Supporters will learn of Lambda Legal updates while enjoying a fantastic dinner among friends and supporters at the City View at Metreon, 135 4th Street. For more information, call (646) 307-7397 or lambdalegal.org Join LESBIAN/GAY CHORUS OF SF and others as they highlight the diverse musical styles of rock, popular songs, and classic repertoire to honor the loss of war and the beauty of peace in GUNS AND ROSES: SONGS OF WAR N’ PEACE. LGCSF continues celebrating its 35th anniversary year with this groundbreaking concert featuring works by hard rockers Guns n’ Roses, English composer Ralph Vaughan Williams, the iconic John Lennon, Grammy-winning American composer Eric Whitacre, 17-year-old choral composer Christopher Enloe, and more. April 18th, 7:30pm and April 19, 8pm, First Congregational Church, 1800 Polk Street. lgcsf.org (continued on page 26)

Truly

WONDERFUL People.

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It’s the life you and your partner want—right in the heart of The City. To learn more, or for your personal visit, please call 415.447.5527.

Maylene Wong, joined in 2005

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A not-for-profit community owned and operated by Episcopal Senior Communities.

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Now This is News!

I have not written this column for a while. Life suddenly got really busy and a little crazy and I had a hard time finding my inspiration…Not quite “writer’s block.” More like, “What can I say that hasn’t been said already?”

Roland Schembari and Bill Hartman Co-Founders in 1978 Kim Corsaro Publisher 1981-2011

2261 Market Street, No. 309 San Francisco CA 94114 Phone: 415-601-2113 525 Bellevue Avenue Oakland CA 94610 Phone: 510-504-9255 E-mail: editor@sfbaytimes.com www.sfbaytimes.com

Speak up! Speak Out! Laugh Often!

Karen Williams, M.Ed

Well, as we all know, life has a way of kicking us back into gear, and I am so grateful for that. These days it is really a challenge to find serenity and peace, qualities of life that we yearn for and yet they seem hard to attain.

Upon closer examination, I uncovered some of the reasons for the anxiety that I feel, particularly after reading my Facebook news feed, MSN.com, or hearing the “news,” since I don’t allow myself to watch it on television. At every turn, there are disturbing and frightening events that make one wonder if it’s even safe to go outside.

Frankly, I’ve had enough!!! And since I truly believe that the “pen is mightier than the sword,” I’ve composed a rant

disguised as a poem that I’d like to share with you so that I can get back to the business of living and enjoying life again now that warmer weather is upon us. So here goes! Feel free to rant right back at me or send some positive affirmations my way! Right now, I am using Louise Hays’ mantra: “All is well in my world!” And it is!

Karen Williams does not watch the news on TV! Please check out her website for the International Institute of Humor and Healing Arts, www.hahainstitute.com

The Bay Times was the first newspaper in California, and among the first in the world, to be jointly and equally produced by lesbians and gay men.

We honor our history and the paper’s ability to build and strengthen unity in our community.

The Bay Times is proud to be the only 100% LGBT funded and owned newspaper for the LGBT community in San Francisco.

Dr. Betty L. Sullivan Jennifer L. Viegas Co-Publishers & Co-Editors

Abby Zimberg Beth Greene

Design & Production

Kate Laws Business Manager Robert Fuggiti Calendar Editor

Kit Kennedy Poet-In-Residence J.H. Herren

Technology Director

Jennifer Mullen Web Coordinator

Mario Ordonez Juan Ordonez Distribution

CONTRIBUTORS Writers Rink, Sister Dana Van Iquity, Ann Rostow, Kirsten Kruse, Kate Kendell, Heidi Beeler, Gary M. Kramer, Dennis McMillan, Tom Moon, Terry Baum, Gypsy Love, Rafael Mandelman, Kit Kennedy, Phil Ting, Rebecca Kaplan, Leslie Katz, Bill Lipsky, Karen Williams, Donna Sachet, Gary Virginia, Zoe Dunning, Marcy Adelman, Stuart Gaffney & John Lewis Brandon Miller, Jamie Leno Zimron Rebecca Kaplan, Thom Watson, George Langford, Philip Ruth, Courtney Lake, Michele Karlsberg Photographers Rink, Steven Underhill, Phyllis Costa, Cathy Blackstone, Robert Fuggiti, Chloe Jackman, Bill Wilson, Jo-Lynn Otto, Sandy Morris, Abby Zimberg

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LETTERS TO THE EDITOR If you would like to write a letter to the editor with comment on an article or suggestions for the Bay Times, email us at editor@sfbaytimes.com. © 2015 Bay Times Media Company Co-owned by Betty L. Sullivan & Jennifer L. Viegas Reprints by permission only.

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News Flash

a poem by Karen Williams

Constant NEWS involving killings, murder and mayhem Striking fear in the hearts and minds of American citizens “Home of the brave and Land of the free” Is it brave to shoot to kill?

Is that what we call freedom?

When has journalism become confused with Sensationalism?

When did whores and killers become Media stars?

Why aren’t GOOD WORKS Featured on the front page?

Though this country was begat in violence Isn’t it up to us to change the course of our Collective karmic his-story?

Or are we slaves to the Masters of media?

It’s balmy Calm Quiet Serene Here in my tiny neighborhood Where I know my neighbors...

I suspect that there are other calm corners of this country...

Where random acts of kindness are more the norm than we care to claim I resist the fear you aim to instill The dreams you take away through Constant Consistent Persistent

Efforts to frighten us to death With “news” and television shows That reek and stink of Killings, murder and mayhem We still leave our screen doors open around here Now that spring has finally arrived Filled with the comfort of cold wintry winds gone...

Children riding bikes again Kids dribbling basketballs aiming for hoops in their driveways Elders laughing, talking and walking together Planting violas in their front yards As we dream of the warmth of families in backyards Laughing under the stars Televisions silenced as we prep our grills for Sunday dinners still shared with friends Loudly talking smack over card games and Dancing wildly in the moonlight for no reason at all How’s that for NEWS?

GLBT Fortnight in Review

By Ann Rostow But W ho K no w s W her e or When?

Not too long ago (but just long enough for me to forget the details) I read an excellent essay urging GLBT journalists and others to resist the urge to go ballistic over legislative proposals that had absolutely zero chance of passage. Hey, I too am sick of absurd headlines announcing that some state is on the verge of reinstating sodomy laws or putting gay men in quarantine. I’m making up those examples, but you know what I mean. We have enough challenges without wasting our energy fighting straw men.

So I’ve been rolling my eyes and ignoring much of the nonsense that is passing for fringe right legislative rhetoric these days and that includes a proposal in my own home state of Texas to bar the use of taxpayer money for issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Lately, however, I’m starting to wonder if perhaps I’m being just a little too complacent in ignoring the crazy talk.

For the record, the Texas “Preservation of Sovereignty and Marriage Act” is doomed, not because it’s ridiculous, but because it takes money away from Texas counties by giving the Secretary of State control over all marriage licensing. And true, it most likely would not pass under any circumstances, and if it did, it would be struck by courts. But considering the dozens and dozens of antigay measures under review by desperate conservative state legislatures around the country, isn’t it possible that something somewhere might stick to the wall?

I’m starting to think the answer to that might actually be yes, but I couldn’t tell you what or where that would be. This leaves me torn about actually reporting on the various redstate sideshows.

On the one hand, I agree that it’s poor journalism to write breathlessly about sensational measures that will never see the light of day. Decent journalism requires the delivery, not just of accuracy, but also of context and perspective. On the other hand, if something insidious did survive the lawmaking process and go on to survive judicial review, I’d be remiss in having bypassed its evolution.

The solution, of course, is to write an item like this one, and then proceed to, um, roll my eyes and ignore the nonsense. Because really, it’s not going to happen.

Much Ado About Something We can all ignore the nonsense, yes, but we can’t ignore the so-called religious freedom acts. As you all know, Indiana passed a dangerous “Religious Freedom Restoration Act” (RFRA) into law last month, but was forced essentially to retract and revise the legislation due to an unexpected roar of outrage from corporations and leaders around the country.

The backlash against Indiana caught everyone off guard. I’d venture to say that even our community was surprised at the breadth and intensity of the protests. On the heels of the Indianapo-mess, lawmakers in Arkansas were convinced to revise their proposed RFRA with the more innocuous language that is already in force in some 20 states.

Basically, the more acceptable versions of RFRA protect religious individuals against government intrusion, while the unacceptable ones allow a faith-based free-for-all; where religious belief can be used as an excuse to discriminate; where in addition to objecting to a government trespass against your faith, you can confront

a gay man or lesbian who somehow forces you to violate your religion.

Some people were wary of the original RFRAs; a federal RFRA was passed in the early 1990s, and state versions followed due to jurisdictional limitations of the federal version.

But with some exceptions, the existing RFRAs have not been used as a weapon against the GLBT community, although that potential exists.

This is just to say that there’s no reason to be giddy about new state RFRAs of any sort, even the ones that we’re calling “more innocuous.” Meanwhile, there are surely efforts underway to enact or “enhance” RFRAs without drawing the wrath of major employers or large community groups.

Finally, what if states just go ahead and pass bad RFRA bills and let the chips fall where they may? It was one thing for the country to rise up against poor old Indiana. Could our allies sustain a series of protests against several states at once?

In other words, the fight is far from over.

Columnists Just Want to Have Fun It feels as if it’s been a long time since I wrote about anything really fun. I mean, of course marriage equality is a lovely topic, but is it fun? No. It’s a waiting game, now. A matter of days until oral arguments (on Tuesday, April 28) and another two months until D-Day. By the way, am I the only one wondering whether or not the Fifth Circuit is just going to sit on its hands until the Supreme Court rules?

The ultra-conservative swamp court heard oral arguments on marriage cases out of Texas, Louisiana and Mississippi back in January, and some observers speculated at the time that the panel might split 2–1 in our favor.

Did you know that Marilyn Monroe had six toes on her left foot? For some reason I’ve ended up on a list that sends me “interesting” facts on a daily basis. Actually, I’ve ended up on countless lists and I am obliged to delete hundreds of emails every day.

So why not change addresses, you ask? I have three reasons. First, I fear that there’s someone or something I’ll miss. Second, I like the fact that my name (arostow) is my email address, rather than something incomprehensible or cute. (My cousin Alexia owns the gmail version of arostow, and I don’t like Yahoo.) Finally, I believe that even though AOL is out of style today, it will one day become the most chic email address.

So, I have a couple of federal cases on my list this week. The California transgender woman who is trying to get sex reassignment surgery in prison. A boy and his parents who apparently are dying to get back into conversion therapy in New Jersey, where such therapy is against the law. I’ve got a trans discrimination victory from the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. President Obama is being nice to us, as is his wont. And Hillary included two gay guys in her announcement video.

All very important, I’m sure, but where’s the fun?

And to answer my own question, just when I’d given up, I found the fun through a f luke on my browser that frequently sends me to a website called “gaystarnews” whenever I’m searching for gay news in general.

It did so just now and here are a few of the headlines that popped up: “UKIP opens up office right next to gay fetish club and sauna.” (Fetish club? I love it!)

Professional Services

“This man threatened to kill everybody in a gay bar with deadly anthrax.” (As opposed to the anthrax that can go in spaghetti sauce?)

“Pokemon turned kids gay, church claims.” (Naughty Pokemon!)

“Romanian TV star: ‘LGBTI people are ‘abnormal and a threat to family values.’”

I could go on, but that’s enough for now. Gaystarnews is one of the top five LGBTI websites in the world, I read here on their website. And why not? The Romanian TV star, by the way, is a female judge on “Romania’s Got Talent,” who said some very mean things about us. I was looking for her exact quotes when I paused to watch 10-year-old Alex Pirvu sing an off-key version of “I Did It My Way,” a surreal performance (and I don’t mean that as a complement) that nonetheless brought the audience to tears.

I’m not normally in the habit of guffawing to myself at the expense of well-meaning, talented children, but I couldn’t help it. I was chagrined by my heartless reaction. I felt very much the ugly American, provincial in her inability to bridge cultural gaps, and yet you try it. Listen to young Alex for the entire four minutes. Watch the expressions of the jury, awestruck by the youngster’s prodigal talent. Check out the backdrops and the fake cloud effect. Then, and only then, can you judge me.

We are proud to be nationally recognized by our peers and the media as the first national firm to launch a LGBT practice ‒ we make it our business to understand our clients’ unique needs.

www.marcumllp.com Nanette Lee Miller 415.432.6200 I nanettelee.miller@marcumllp.com International Member of Leading Edge Alliance

ASSURANCE

I

TAX

I

ADVISORY

Small (Screen) World Let’s see now. I gather that HBO cancelled Looking, the pointless gay male TV drama about a bunch of gay men who live in San Francisco and don’t do much of anything. I watched maybe four episodes, with mild interest (and I can’t emphasize the word “mild” strongly enough). Personally, I was never that interested in The L Word either. Back in the day, the mere presence of a gay or lesbian character was enough to earn a “must see” rating in our eager little community.

But these days a show has to deliver something more. I suppose we all have to watch Cucumber and Banana on Logo before passing judgment on these British imports.

J O H N S T O N, K I N N E Y & Z U L A I C A LLP

By the way, I was checking Cucumber on Google and I learned that Hendrick’s Gin is about to launch a dirigible shaped like a cucumber, which will take passengers on rides in several American cities this summer, including San Francisco and Austin!

We can all go on the blimp, hopefully with gin and tonic in hand.

Back on the subject of television, I guess Ellen is involved behind the scenes with the new NBC sitcom One Big Happy, a show about a lesbian who has a kid with her straight male best friend who then f inds a girlfriend.

Haven’t seen it, but will check it out.

It got tepid reviews.

Part of the problem is that I feel overrun by television. Mel and I tape The Good Wife, Madame Secretary, Masterpiece Whatever It Might Be, Something About Midwives, Grey’s Anatomy, Battle Creek, American Crime, The British Detective in Beach Community Show, and the list goes on. Plus, we dutifully watched House of Cards, which was not as interesting as in previous seasons.

I’m not sure how we reached the point of recording all these shows, and I feel very guilty about deleting them unwatched, but much as we must sometimes discard the wilted lettuce in the bottom bin, so we must bring ourselves to say goodbye to much of last month’s selections sans vu. One of the new shows that we’ll never stop watching is the phenomenal Empire. (continued on page 26)

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April Is National Poetry Month Inaugurated by the Academy of American Poets in 1996, National Poetry Month, held every April, is the largest literary celebration in the world. Schools, publishers, libraries, booksellers and poets are all now celebrating poetry’s vital place in our culture.

throughout the day. You won’t be alone, as individuals nationwide at schools, bookstores, libraries, parks, workplaces and other venues will be doing this as well.

It’s a great conversation starter!

On April 30, consider participating in Poem in Your Pocket Day. All you have to do is select a favorite poem, carry it with you, and share it with others

In the meantime, we hope that you enjoyed the poem on page 14 by San Francisco Bay Times columnist and popular entertainer Karen Williams.

Home

Here’s another, from our own talented Poet-inResidence Kit Kennedy.

Kit Kennedy is also Poet-inResidence at herchurch Ebenezer Lutheran. She has published 5 poetry collections, and for the past several years she has hosted the poetry series at Gallery Café. For more information, please visit her blog: http://poetrybites.blogspot.com

by Kit Kennedy Photo images by Stacy Boorn

Home openly loves diversity.

Consider: snails live in portable houses.

Plants put down roots.

Seeds ride breeze’s coattails.

Birds build nests, then leave.

We learn from them.

To a ship both sea & harbor are home. The same may be said of a hand reaching for another’s.

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Unlikely as it seems poems, too, are houses.

They have windows at least one door mirrors to remind dreams to quicken and a special chair to entertain the imagination.

Each word – like a room a song, scarf, or fragrance – is a pocket of memories.

And surely nothing is more affirming than sharing sweet words under the shelter of a kiss.

What is in a Name?

A Reflection by Empress Khmera Rouge on the 40th Anniversary of the Cambodian Genocide GARDEN PARTY + AWARDS

Who are you? What do you call yourself ? Who do you think you are? Our names and identities are such a major part of who we are that many of us don’t even think about how much power they hold until someone tries to take them away. We recently witnessed this with the “Real Names Policy” fiasco, which occurred and played out on Facebook late last year, impacting many local performers and drag personalities. People fought back for ownership of their identities, causing the social media giant to recant and review its policy. It was “Dragctivism” (Drag+Activisim) at its finest.

But what exactly goes into a name?

Many people create a drag name for themselves just for fun. My stage name is Khmera Rouge. Before starting out as a performer and drag queen, I thought about and adopted a moniker that had particular special meaning to me. To many, it sounds just like any other simple, playful drag name. But those who know the inspiration and meaning behind it realize just how much darkness and pain is attached.

This Friday, April 17, will mark the 40th anniversary of when Cambodia fell to the Khmer Rouge communist regime and the Cambodian genocide.

This set into motion a diaspora of the Cambodian people, displacing and separating countless families and causing one of the most horrific genocides and periods in our recent past where an estimated 2 million innocent lives were lost due to famine, torture and execution. There is such a heavy history behind the name. So why did I choose such an awful name?

I’m a firm believer that beauty can be found in anything, even something so heinous.

I chose it because I felt many people forgot, or refuse to talk about, who and what the Khmer Rouge were and what they did. For many, April 17 will pass by as just any other day would without a second thought. To me, that is a tragedy. Many have no idea the atrocities that were committed at the hands of the Khmer Rouge. I took it upon myself to make sure those that suffered and lost their lives would never be forgotten.

My family members were refugees during this time, and were fortunate enough to be sent to camps in Thailand and the Philippines before being resettled in Washington State, where I was born. Growing up, I came to realize that people in my community would shy away from

talking about what happened, which is understandable. For many, my mother included, the wounds and memories were still too fresh to bring up. But as a result, something that occurred not too long ago is fading into history and obscurity.

SUNDAY, MAY 3, 1PM

CHAMBERS EAT & DRINK

It was my intent when I chose my stage name, in direct reference to the Khmer Rouge, to constantly remind and educate anyone who was curious enough to inquire about it. That was always my goal—if just one person who did not know before asked about it, and I was able to share what I knew and to start a dialogue, then my name would serve its purpose.

This weekend, on April 18, in remembrance of the 40th anniversary and to honor those who perished, I will be kicking off a year of fundraising as part of my role as Empress, along with my Emperor Kevin Lisle, and raising funds for Wat Opot Children’s Fund in support of Changing the Course, a collaborative effort led by Brian Reyes at Beaux, 2344 Market Street, from 4–7PM. The program’s mission is to support Cambodian adults and youth impacted by HIV/ AIDS who live in extreme poverty in rural Cambodia. The program offers education, including on the arts and dance, as well as training and resources concerning sustainable agricultural practices.

Going forward after that, we will be holding a monthly fundraiser at Beaux every second Saturday of the month from 4–7PM. The event will feature an open show where tips from performers will be donated. Jell-O shots and raffle tickets will be sold.

There will also be other fun surprises, all in an effort to raise money for some amazing local causes and organizations. All proceeds raised will benefit our Monarchs Charity Fund, which will allow us to support organizations such as AIDS Emergency Fund/Breast Cancer Emergency Fund and Project Openhand. These are just a few of the charities that we will be focusing on raising funds for over the coming months.

Khmera Rouge is the reigning Empress of the Imperial Council of San Francisco. Khmera currently serves on the board of the Alice B. Toklas LGBT Democratic Club and was elected as a delegate for the California Democratic Party, Assembly District 17.

Before being elected Empress, Khmera was the Queen of Hearts for the Grand Ducal Council of San Francisco as well as the 25th Miss GAPA (Gay Asian Pacific Alliance).

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The Time for Equality Is Now

Marriage Equality Stuart Gaffney and John Lewis, Marriage Equality USA Nineteen years ago, the United States Supreme Court in Romer v. Evans struck down Colorado’s notorious Amendment 2, a state constitutional provision that revoked all local ordinances prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation and forbade state and local governments in Colorado from enacting or enforcing such protections in the future. The Supreme Court found that Amendment 2’s purpose was to make lesbian, gay, and bisexual people “unequal to everyone else” and that such “a bare…desire to harm a politically unpopular group” rendered the law unconstitutional.

However, the Supreme Court left undecided whether sexual orientation and gender identity are protected classes under the Constitution, which would mean that governmental actions that target LGBT Americans for differential treatment would be presumed invalid and upheld only if they withstand so-called “heightened judicial scrutiny,” a very difficult standard to meet. The marriage equality cases before the Supreme Court this year provide the Court with the perfect opportunity to make this much needed holding. Indeed, various states’ recent attempts to undermine gains in LGBT equality underscore the importance of the Supreme Court’s making such a ruling.

In addition to recently proposed or enacted state laws to invite LGBT discrimination under the guise of “religious freedom,” Arkansas and

Tennessee have passed anti-LGBT laws that revoke all local prohibitions on discrimination against LGBT people and prohibit enforcement of any such measures in the future, despite the Supreme Court’s decision in Romer. These states have attempted to maneuver around Romer through the tactic of targeting LGBT people without naming them explicitly. The new laws forbid local governments to provide protection against discrimination for any group of people not protected under state law. However, Arkansas, Tennessee (and 27 other states) currently have no statewide protections against sexual orientation discrimination. They and 30 other states have no protections against gender identity discrimination. The intent of Arkansas and Tennessee’s new laws is essentially the same as that of Colorado’s two decades ago: rollback LGBT legal protections and impede future efforts at achieving them.

Upon sponsoring the bill, Arkansas State Senator Bart Hester repeated the decades’ old mantra of LGBT opponents—he did not want LGBT people to have “special rights.” His original version of the bill that the State Senate passed (but the House amended) went so far as to declare a statewide “emergency” making the bill “immediately necessary for the preservation of the public peace, health, and safety”—even though none of Arkansas’ 75 counties or 500 cities at the time had a local ordinance prohibiting LGBT discrimination. Fayetteville had passed such an ordinance in August 2014, but a local referendum repealed it in December. Since the statewide bill was introduced, Little Rock and Eureka Springs passed local protections that will become unenforceable later this year when the bill goes into effect.

Kansas Governor Sam Brownback took action this February with motives similar to those of lawmakers in Arkansas and Tennessee when he rescinded an eight-year-old Kansas Executive Order prohibiting discrimination against LGBT state employees, just three months after

same-sex couples began marrying in the state. His purported intent was to align government workers’ protections with those available statewide to everyone. However, like Arkansas and Tennessee, Kansas has no statewide statutory protections against sexual orientation or gender identity discrimination. Fear immediately spread among the state’s LGBT employees. A local Topeka Human Relations Commissioner explained that LGBT state workers “were already very cautious about public attention,” but their “concerns” were suddenly “multiplied exponentially.”

LGBT state employees who want to marry now risk losing their jobs if they do so. Those who married before Brownback rescinded the Executive Order are already vulnerable.

The solutions to these problems are clear. As we continue to undertake the lengthy processes of achieving protections under all states’ laws, Congress must act now to prohibit discrimination nationwide against LGBT people in all aspects of our lives. This June, we need a ruling from the Supreme Court that the US Constitution guarantees LGBT Americans in every state the right to live free from their government treating them as less than equal because of who they are or whom they love.

An April 2015 Reuters/Ipsos poll showed Americans support marriage equality nationwide 52% to 32%, a gaping 20-point margin. The same poll showed that 55% of Americans opposed employers’ being able to use their religious beliefs as a basis for refusing to hire someone, and that 54% of Americans opposed businesses being able to refuse service to someone on the same basis. The time for equality under the law is now.

John Lewis and Stuart Gaffney, together for three decades, were plaintiffs in the California case for equal marriage rights decided by the California Supreme Court in 2008. They are leaders in the nationwide grassroots organization Marriage Equality USA.

Couple Facing Second Marriage Challenges with Grace and Integrity soul partner. At the same time there are some complications to be gotten through before they can reach this wonderful place, at last, where they can fully commit to a lifetime together.

Weddings Reverend Elizabeth River I recently met with 2 women who have asked me to marry them this fall. Presently, they live apart— Catherine lives in the Sacramento area, and Kit lives in Texas. They both have long-established careers and good jobs where they are now living. They have been together as a couple for several years, and it has been an interesting journey to this marriage.

They fell in love soon after meeting, and knew they were each other’s true 18

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It’s a second marriage for both of them, and each has children. While their kids are all grown up, Kit is now raising her 2 grandsons, so it’s not quite the simple thing of a couple of “empty-nesters” pulling up roots and moving halfway across the country to be together. Not only is Kit planning to move here where Katherine’s job is, but she also has to deal with her grandsons’ father and his second wife, who want the boys to stay in Texas. This is despite the fact that Kit has raised both boys from infancy and they are now 12 and 14. So there are both emotional and legal challenges that will not be simple to resolve. And yet, being the people Kit and Catherine are, they are not willing to play hardball, dragging the boys through the court system and possibly causing them great emotional wounding.

Additionally, Kit has chosen to leave her good job and was able to negotiate a return to her former Bay Area employer to make the move and to keep the family finances on solid footing as she and Catherine begin their new marriage and blended family.

I spent a little time with Catherine and Kit, discussing these challenges and how they are approaching all of this. Of course, both women are used to “steps.” Catherine’s children all have other stepparents and stepsiblings, and then there are always the in-laws from past relationships.

I eventually came to realize that these two women are handling this circuitous journey with grace and integrity. They are getting advice and guidance on every step of the journey, and working with (rather than against) Kit’s grandsons’ father and stepmother to create a healthy loving and mutually acceptable plan for the boys’ lives. It does help that both women are devout in their (continued on page 26)

#KateClinton “Just paid my taxes with unused gift cards. It’s a sincerely held religious belief of mine. I’ll let you know how it goes.”

Arts & Entertainment

Gay Vanity Wedding Show This Sunday Promises to Be a Magical, Inspirational Event By Fred and Jaime Botello

Sullivan

(Editor’s Note: Members of the San Francisco Bay Times team, including weddings columnist and officiant Reverend Elizabeth River and publisher Dr. Betty Sullivan, will be at this event on Sunday.

We loved last year’s show and are happy to participate again this year. Come and join us during this historic year when the U.S. Supreme Court is expected to rule, by the end of June, on nationwide marriage equality.)

Now that we have gone from just a few states where LGBTQ couples could get married to landmark court decisions in favor of marriage equality, Gay Vanity Wedding Show is here to guide you through the planning process for your own perfect day. We are passionate about our work and in sharing our expertise with you. We also celebrate the prominent wedding professionals who will be coming together for this gay and lesbian wedding extravaganza.

The show will highlight products and services to complement a variety of tastes. Come meet, be informed and inspired by top wedding professionals who are experts on flowers, jewelry, photography/videography, officiating, stationary, reception venues, catering, baking/cakes/desserts, fashion, formal & travel wear, entertainment, event plan-

Haley

ning, intimacy enhancements, dance lessons, gifts, decorating, transportation and travel. Our wedding vendors are all focused on couples’ happily ever after.

A highlight of the event will be a live LGBT Wedding Fashion show, with emcee Joel Riddell.

Joel is the Clear Channel Media & Entertainment food, wine and travel expert. The fashion show starts at 10am and lasts until 1pm, so be sure to come early as you won’t want to miss it! It will showcase the latest bride and groom fashions, hair up-do’s, wedding day make-up, opulent floral designs and so much more.

Throughout the day, there will be live music from popular bands such as The Klipptones and Magnolia Jazz Band. DJs will also be spinning tunes. All attendees will receive one of our coveted gift bags with goodies supplied by the exhibitors.

Because LGBT couples face particular considerations when it comes to finances, taxes, inheritance, real estate, medical issues and adoptions, our vendors will be willing to answer and instruct couples on legal, property, family, medical and financial concerns. Your wedding day is one of the most important days of your life, and it sets the stage for what’s to come. Proper planning is essential.

Fred Sullivan and Jaime Botello

The wedding show itself makes for a memorable, magical day for couples. (Straight couples are invited too.) We want to inspire your own unique dreams, which can become reality. We are having an amazing time preparing this special event, and we love the excitement and romance of weddings.

So please come and touch the gowns, taste the wedding cakes, smell the f lowers, try on the make-up and taste creative food and drinks. See you soon!

Fred Sullivan and Jaime Botello are the founders of the Gay Vanity Wedding Show and Sullivan Botello Events, LLC. For more information, please visit http://www. gayvanityweddingshow.com

Sunday, April 19 | Bentley Reserve 301 Battery Street, San Francisco Joel Riddel

Bentley Reserve

www.gayvanityweddingshow.com BAY T IM ES APR IL 16, 2015

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Focus on Serving Your Unique Soul-print ARIES (March 21–April 19) Things are looking up, Aries!

The stars sparkle in your house of “happy” now. Creativity and romance abound. Resourcefulness is at an all-time high. Pick your passion, and make it happen.

Astrology Gypsy Love Congratulations, Graduate!

If you’re reading this, it means you’ve crossed an incredible cosmic bridge. After braving the storm of all-or-nothing astrological events that have dominated these past few years, you’re emerging triumphant and transformed—albeit a bit bruised. Consider each scar a celestial badge of honor now as you focus on serving your unique soul-print. “Do what you do so well that they will want to see it again and bring their friend.” (Walt Disney)

LEO ( July 23–August 22) Take the leap, Leo. Professionally, you’re primed to make meaningful advances now.

You’re the one holding the cards, honey. Construct a plan, and commit to it.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22–December 21) Shake things up, Sagittarius! Day-to-day dealings get an added boost of energy now. Design a healthy habit. Enroll in an intriguing class. Do something every day to cater to your divine curiosity.

TAURUS (April 20–May 20) Take a stand, Taurus.

Recent upsets are rooted in your refusal to assert yourself. The planets prefer that you live loudly and proudly. Put your mantra where your mouth is.

VIRGO (August 23–September 22) Keep the faith, Virgo. Fear of the unknown will only foster unnecessary tension between home and work now.

Maintaining an open mind will enable you to manifest miracles.

CAPRICORN (December 22–January 19) Are you ready for your close-up, Capricorn?

A stellar spotlight shines intently on your house of self-expression now.

Even pleasure can be productive, lover. Get out and play!

GEMINI (May 21–June 20) Tune in, Gemini. Your intuition is functioning at full throttle these days. As you tackle tough questions about love and career, make time to tap into your instincts.

LIBRA (September 23– October 22) Change is in the air, Libra. These power struggles and pesky pains are agents for growth. The Universe is paving a path designed to help you realize your truest potential.

AQUARIUS ( January 20– February 18) Let’s be honest, Aquarius. Your palace could use a good purge. Bid farewell to pieces of your past that have long exhausted their purpose. Discover the healing nature of home improvement.

SCORPIO (October 23– November 21) Sick of flying solo, Scorpio? Astral hues are highlighting your relationship sector. Even if you’re already attached, or have no interest in coupling, respect your intimate desires now.

PISCES (February 19–March 20) Practice your pitch, Pisces.

Your power of speech is especially potent now. Communicate to the public with confidence and clarity. Your message deserves to be heard, and the world is waiting.

CANCER ( June 21–July 22) This is no time to dwell in your shell, sweet Cancer.

Saddle up and sync with your community now. Stepping into the light will help you expand your dream team.

Gypsy Love Productions is dedicated to inspiring love and unity with music, dance, and astrology. www.GypsyLoveProductions.com

As Heard on the Street . . .

Describe your dream home.

Melinda Adams

“A Barbie dream house or a San Francisco Victorian.”

compiled by Rink

Susan Ramsey

Mr. Pam

Trisha Fogleman

Paloma Volare

“My dream house is where I live right now - “Sur La Plage” - but I wish I had a time machine to go back before my rent was too high.”

“A pink penthouse in the Castro with a huge roof deck and tons of hot gay boys.”

“Dream house? A house that is affordable enough to be able to stay in San Francisco.”

“My dream house would have a drag room as a guest room on a hill close to our family.”

Steven Underhill

PHOTOGRAPHY

415 370 7152

WEDDINGS, HEADSHOTS, PORTRAITS

stevenunderhill.com · stevenunderhillphotos@gmail.com 20

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One Day at a Time comes with the writing territory, mentally traveling somewhere else so that I can follow the story wherever it may lead. The local parks and coffee shops become my favorite places.

AMERICAN CONSERVATORY THEATER presents

“Comic and touching” The Telegraph, UK

When I have a close deadline, though, I usually write at least four days a week, from morning until evening, if my schedule allows. This pace helps me to keep my productivity high and to stick to my self-inflicted word count goal, which is normally 10,000 to 15,000 words per week. If the gods of procrastination leave me alone, I can get a decent draft of a novel in a month’s time and then take another month or so to run through at least two more drafts.

Words

PHOTO COURTESY OF TEKA PHOTOGRAPHY

Michele Karlsberg

NOW PLAYING

Michele Karlsberg: Do you write every day?

Fiona Zedde: As much as I love writing, I usually don’t write every day.

Especially when my deadline isn’t that close. I like to take at least one day to allow what I’ve written to marinate on the page and in my mind. On these write-less days, I think about the plot, where my story is going, or even what I’m doing with my life. I enjoy the staring into the middle distance thing that

Jamaican-born Fiona Zedde is the author of several novels, including the Lambda Literary Award finalists “Bliss” and the recently rereleased “Every Dark Desire.” Find out more at www.FionaZedde.com

by KWAME

KWEI-ARMAH Directed by MARIA MILEAF

Sheree L. Greer: I do not write every day; therefore, I suck. I read about writers who do and feel like I’m slacking off and disappointing everyone. I only feel like that for about twenty seconds, though, because then I get all defensive. With teaching, selfmarketing, hosting an open mic, running a nonprofit, loving my family, and trying to get a long, hot bath somewhere in there, writing every day is impossible. But I only feel like that for about five seconds. Because then I realize I don’t use the word “impossible.”

A cantankerous, aging father and his equally headstrong lesbian daughter experience a transformation in their relationship when a new caregiver enters their lives.

I write every day; therefore, I do not suck. I read about writers who are doing a lot of what I’m doing, and more, raising families and taking vacations, giving back to their communities while promoting and creating new work. And it’s then that I realize what writing every day really means.

Writing every day extends beyond sitting at the desk, fingers clicking away at the keyboard. Writing every day means showing up, taking it in, and pushing it out. It means giving when and how you can. It means practicing and thinking.

It’s doing the work, all of it—the family thing, the self thing, the career thing.

An email, a lesson plan, a status update, thinking through a scene, brainstorming titles, scribbling a clip of dialogue, writing reviews or a note for your lover’s lunch, it’s all thinking, practicing, giving. It’s loving what you do by finding a way to infuse it into everything.

It’s writing. Every. Day. A Milwaukee, Wisconsin, native, Sheree L. Greer hosts “Oral Fixation,” the only LGBTQ Open Mic series in Tampa Bay, teaches writing and literature at St. Petersburg College, and founded The Kitchen Table Literary Arts Center to showcase the work of

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Dior and I Reveals Prestigious Fashion House’s History as Its Future Unfolds

Film Gary M. Kramer

preparing their show. He also seamlessly intercuts archival footage of Christian Dior to give a sense of the fashion house’s history as its future is unfolding.

The filmmaker recently spoke via Skype with me for the San Francisco Bay Times about making Dior and I. Gary M. Kramer: This is your third fashion doc. Why do you have such an affinity for this world, and how did you come to make Dior and I?

Dior and I is the third fabulous fashion documentary—after collaborating on Valentino: The Last Emperor and Diana Vreeland: The Eye Has to Travel—made by the openly gay Frédéric Tcheng. It is also the first he alone directed. This new film observes creative director Raf Simons in 2011 as he prepares his first haute couture show for the House of Dior. Simons creates designs, chooses fabrics, and gets to know his staff, whom he manages well. He also has setbacks, an exquisite if grandiose idea on how to stage the fashion show, and a severe case of nerves.

Tcheng nimbly edits together the eight intense weeks of Simons and his staff

Frédéric Tcheng: I think it’s just an opportunity, really. I am not particularly fashion oriented or coming from a fashion background. For me, the most important things are the story and the characters. I don’t go to fashion shows except to film. Olivier Biolobos, the head of communication and PR at Dior, fell in love with Diana Vreeland. I asked him about the future of Dior with John Galiano out. I told Olivier that, if it was going to be Raf, I wanted to document his arrival.

Raf ’s approach was very different, much more modern. His process was also like that of a painter; his references, and collaborations with his models, were totally refreshing. This film was a negative mirror of Valentino.

What happens after the master steps down and the newcomer arrives when there is this strong sense of legacy?

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Gary M. Kramer: What can you say about filming the fashion shows that ends the film? The slow-motion runway was inspired. The models seemed to just float!

Frédéric Tcheng: That happened by chance. I’m very happy with how it turned out. Credit Léo Hinstin, who is the cinematographer for the runway segment. He has worked with fashion runways before. I said I didn’t want it to look like a typical runway. I wanted a slightly different look, and he came up with slow motion and the low angle that made them look sculptural. When I got the footage and played it the first time, I started crying [because] I was so moved by the lightness of the footage. I couldn’t have dreamt of a better set for the final runaway show. That was my MGM moment!

Gary M. Kramer: What surprised you in making the film?

Frédéric Tcheng: The level of emotion that Raf brought toward the end of the film. I was praying for that, but I didn’t expect it, knowing his personality and how modest he is. He didn’t

like to flaunt his emotions. He’s very thoughtful, and generous and understanding of other people’s creative processes and that certainly applied to me. He later told me didn’t want to be too close during filming because he didn’t want to influence my decisions in the film.

Gary M. Kramer: Raf compares himself to Dior in the film. How are you like Dior? What qualities as a filmmaker do you share with the famous designer?

Frédéric Tcheng: I identified with Raf most—maybe it was my personal journey as it was the biggest scale project and responsibility I have [taken on]. He had to deal with the legacy of Dior, but I had to deal with my subjects and honor them and find my own voice and do something uniquely mine. His creative struggles mirrored mine.

Dior was a late bloomer. He worked for other people for a long time—several designers before he started his own line when he was 40. He had several careers, and he came from somewhat of an architectural background.

I started as an engineer and got my degree in civil engineering (building).

He was reserved, and that’s something I share with him and Raf does too.

When I read Dior’s autobiography, he seemed totally genuine in the way he expressed himself. I liked his simplicity.

He doesn’t seem self-conscious about how he comes across. I liked the humanity of Christian Dior and how he talked about his collaborators. You get a vivid sense of him and his team from his book. That’s why I decided to use the book in the film, and after I met Raf, it became obvious.

There were so many parallels that the process had not changed in 50 years. It was a way of juxtaposing the past and the present the way Raf does with an archival jacket and pants. The two could cohabit and create something new. The voice of Christian Dior became a big part of it as I was researching, and as I was shooting, it became very clear, as a voice over. In editing, we started building the film around that. © 2015 Gary M. Kramer Gary M. Kramer is the author of “Independent Queer Cinema: Reviews and Interviews,” and the co-editor of “Directory of World Cinema: Argentina.” Follow him on Twitter @garymkramer

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Reimagine Your Office

Style Courtney Lake I recently moved my home office to a new off-site location. Up until this point, I had thought of myself as being an “organized” person—papers filed and supplies neatly tucked away. However, space is a luxury in the new abode, so what was once my design respite now serves dual duty as my dining area. Today’s “home office” is a misnomer, as it really has become the central hub for many family’s lives. From schoolwork to taxes, the home office is often serving multiple duties, so it’s time to treat it like the multifunctional space it has become. Here are some quick tips to get yourself organized and ready during Spring!

Purge It Nothing is more satisfying to the soul like a good ol’ purging. Map out 1 hour over the course of a week to tackle a specific portion of your office. Set a timer and get down to work. When the timer goes off, stop. I have used this technique successfully with clients. It allows the process of de-cluttering to feel less overwhelming and more manageable.

Scan It Invest in a good multipurpose scanner/printer/copier.

They are worth their weight in gold! As soon as paperwork comes in, it is scanned into electronic PDFs for easy filing and storage. No more searching through piles to find that missing receipt. If you can go one step further, remember to ask to receive your bank statements and other bills electronically. An added bonus is that some companies, like student loans, will give you small rebates for going paperless!

Stash It Whenever possible, remove extraneous clutter from your work surface. Use a tray to gather all of your office essentials. Corral writing utensils and other office supplies into containers for easy storage. Remember that storage containers can be anything you want, as long as they do the job. I love using Dollar Store glass vases to house markers and colored pencils. I search the sale rack at big box stores for fun containers to store everything from paper clips to rubber bands.

Bind It Sometimes you need to break out an oldie but goodie!

Clipboards are a great way to combat piles and keep paperwork organized. Give each family member their own clipboard to track bills, homework and other important documents. At the end of the week, gather

Wednesdays: what’s for dinner? $10 DINNER

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the boards up and file as needed.

Courtney Lake is the interior designer and lifestyle expert behind Monogram Décor (www.monogramdecor.com) and its celebrated blog, “Courtney Out Loud.” His work and writings have appeared on television and in writing including “The Wall Street Journal,” “The Nate Berkus Show,” the “San Francisco Chronicle,” “Life & Style Magazine,” “RUE Magazine,” “Real Simple,” “This Old House” and “7x7 Magazine.”

Sweet Inspiration Bakery Cafe

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See many more Calendar items @ www.sfbaytimes.com

compiled by Robert Fuggiti

Sarah Bush Dance Project presents “Rocked By Women,” May 9-10.

• 16 : T HURSDAY

Full-Frontal Comedy – The Lookout. $5. 8 pm. (3600 Market St.) Enjoy a monthly comedy show hosted by Yuri Kagan and Valerie Branch. www.lookoutsf.com 2015 SF Jazz Poetry Festival – SF Jazz Center. $20. 7:30 pm. (205 Franklin St.) Four nights of poetry from San Francisco, San Jose, Oakland and Berkeley.

www.sfjazzcenter.com Popscene Turns 20 – Popscene. $25+. 9 pm. (155 Fell St.) A 3-night celebration of music with Brandon Flowers, DJ Aaron Axelsen and Omar. www.popscene-sf.com

• 17 : F RIDAY

San Francisco Soiree – Metreon. $250+. 6 pm. (135 Fourth St.) Join Lambda Legal’s Bay Area

Leadership Council for a fabulous night. www.lambadalegal.com Book Launch: What Can I Ask – Laurel Books. Free. 7 pm. ( 1423 Broadway, Oakland) Join lesbian author and activist Elana Dykewomon for the West Coast launch of her latest book, What Can I Ask. www.laurelbookstore.com Edgewise – The Magazine. Free. 7 pm. (920 Larkin St.) Enjoy a reading from Chloe Griffin’s Edgewise: A Picture of Cookie Mueller, along with cocktails and a short film. www.cookiemuellerbook.com

• 18 : S ATURDAY

Guns and Roses – First Congressional Church. $25-$45.

7:30 pm. (1300 Polk St.) Join LGCSF as they highlight the diverse musical styles of rock, popular songs, and classic repertoire to honor the loss of war and the beauty of peace. www.gunsandroses.brownpapertickets.com Sara (the Smuggler) – CounterPulse. $15-$25. 8 pm.

(1310 Mission St.) Sara (the Smuggler) is a performance about dance legends, friendship, history, and love. Through April 19. www.circozero.org Jalwa – Club OMG. Free. 10 pm to 2 am. (43 6th St.) Enjoy a night of dancing at this unique, Bollywood themed gay bar. www.clubomgsf.com.

• 19 : S UNDAY

Birthright? – Brava Theater Center. $10-$30. 3 pm. (2781 24th St.) Birthright? will tackle the questions, issues, responses, and pros and cons of the debate surrounding women’s reproductive rights and the efforts and responses of Planned Parenthood. www.brava.org 24

BAY TIMES APRIL 1 6 , 2 0 1 5

From Stage and Screen – Odell Johnson Performing Arts Center. $20. 4 pm to 6 pm. (900 Fallon St.) The Oakland-East Bay Gay Mens Chorus (OEBGMC) announces its Spring concert series From Stage & Screen” under the direction of Carl Pantle, Music Director. www.oebgmc.org

• 20 : M ONDAY

When Cultures Collide – Commonwealth Club. $20 nonmembers. 11:30 am. (555 Post St.) International communications experts, Richard Lewis and Michael Gates, will share their vision on how to bridge cultural gaps through the globally respected Lewis Model. www.commonwealthclub.org Last One to Leave Please Turn Out the Lights – Verdi Club. Free. 8 pm. (2424 Mariposa St.) A very special edition of the Bay Area’s longest-running storytelling series, now in its 13th year! www.verdiclub.net In Conversation with David Eisenbud – Commonwealth Club. $20 non-members. 6:30 pm. (555 Post St.) Recipient of the Fields Medal, the most coveted prize in mathematics, Cédric Villani will talk about mathematical thinking and its ability to enhance perception. www.commonwealthclub.org

• 21 : T UESDAY

Stupid F##king Bird – San Francisco Playhouse. $20+. 7 pm.

(450 Post St.) Aaron Posner’s Stupid F##king Bird mixes equal parts ambition, sex and alcohol in a recipe for madness. Through May 2. www.sfplayhouse.com

• 22 : W EDNESDAY

The Book of Mormon – Orpheum Theatre. $60-$210. 8 pm.

(1192 Market St.) The Book of Mormon, winner of nine Tony Awards including Best Musical, returns to San Francisco. Through June 27. www.shnsf.com Queer Salsa Dancing – Beatbox. Free. 8 pm. (314 11th St.) Latin City Nights presents a queer salsa dance. www.beatboxsf.com

• 23 : T HURSDAY

Eighth Annual Lesbian Summer Camp – Camp Pinnacles National Park. $75. April 23-26. (Pinnacles National Park) A fun, long weekend of women, camping, hiking, and playing in the swimming pool. jamyrson@hotmail.com Farewell Celebration – Montclair Women’s Cultural Arts Club. $35. 1 pm. (1650 Mountain Blvd., Oakland) Celebrate the Montclair Women’s Cultural Arts Club and our Community over these last 20 years! www.montclairartsclub.com Miriam Frank – Laurel Bookstore. Free. 6:30 pm. (1423 Broadway, Oakland) A talk on the longstanding relationship between queer politics and labor organizing. www.laurelbookstore.com

• 24 : F RIDAY

Art & Wine Auction – Academy of Friends. $50. 6 pm to 8:30 pm. (111 Minna Gallery) Join Academy of Friends for a special art & wine fundraising event. www.aof42415.eventbrite.com Rachel Lee Smith – Laurel Bookstore. Free. 6:30 pm. (1423 Broadway, Oakland) Join photographer and writer Rachelle Lee Smith discussing her latest book, Speaking OUT!: Queer Youth in Focus. www.laurelbookstore.com

• 25 : S ATURDAY

www.commonwealthclub.org Ten Percent – David Perry.

Free. 11:30 am. (Comcast Cable Network) David Perry interviews Christine Pelosi about her book, Campaign Bootcamp, her famous mother and challenges ahead for the LGBT movement. www.davidperry.com

MK Nobilette – The Grand Live at Venue Oakland. $20. (420 14th St., Oakland) American Idol XIII Finalist MK Nobilette performs live for one night only! www.venueoakland.com

LGBT Sangha – SF LGBT Center. Free. 5:30 pm to 6:30 pm.

(1800 Market St.) All are welcome to join for a mindful meditation and spiritual practice. www.sfcenter.org

A Midsummer Night’s Dream – Brava Theater Center. $5-$15. 7 pm. (2781 24th St.) A humorous updated musical of Shakespeare’s classic tale of fairies, lovers and a magical forest. www.brava.org

• 28 : T UESDAY

Well Beyond HIV – SF LGBT Center. Free. 4:30 pm to 8 pm.

(1800 Market St.) An art exhibition celebrating people over 50 living with HIV. www.sfcenter.org

Pride Skate: LGBT Roller Disco – Church 8. $10. 7 pm to 10

• 26 : S UNDAY

30th Anniversary Brunch – Project Inform. $100-$500. 11 am to 2 pm. (The General’s Residence, Fort Mason) Honor the incredible work of Senator Mark Leno and help kick off Project Inform’s celebration of our 30 years of service! www.proejctinform.org

Gay Comedy Sketch – Mark I. Chester Studio. Free. 6:30 pm.

(1229 Folsom St.) Queer comedy. www.markichester.com

pm. (554 Fillmore St.) An LGBT roller skating disco happening every Tuesday. 415-752-1967

• 29 : W EDNESDAY Out in the Bay 10th Anniversary Party - Oasis Nightclub (298 11th @ Folsom) $20 adv/$25 door. 5-8 pm. Live KALW radio show taping and after party with entertainment, t-shirts, cocktails, more. www.outinthebay.org

Discussion with Marsha Gessen – Kanabar Hall. $40-$55.

8 pm. (3200 California St.) A special VIP evening with journalist Masha Gessen, in conversation, and Peter Finn, National Security Editor, Washington Post. www.daasv.org

Visit us at sfbaytimes.com

This Month at The Market!

APRIL 21: Earth Day is coming! Enter to win a very nice herb kit so you can grow fresh fragrant herbs on your windowsill. And if you bring your reusable shopping bag to the Info Booth you'll receive a free basket of strawberries. Supplies are limited!

FIFTH CROW FARM: Organic carrots, chard, onions, beets, cranberry beans, red and green lettuce, and lots of other tasty fall veggies.

CITYBEES: Local honey from right down the street in your neighborhood. Every week they bring honey from a different patch in the garden, a building top nearby, or a neighboring backyard. Can't get more local than that.

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Final Party – The Lexington Club. Free. 10 pm. (3464 19th St.) San Francisco’s favorite lesbian bar celebrates 18 years with one final weekend. The Lexington’s last night of service will be April 30. www.lexingtonclub.com

Hairspray – Berkeley Playhouse. $25-$60. 12 pm and 5 pm. (2640 College Ave., Berkeley) Berkeley Playhouse continues its seventh season with Hairspray, directed by Producing Artistic Director Daren A.C. Carollo. Through May 17. www.berkeleyplayhouse.org Spring Fling – Four Seasons Hotel. $200. 11 am. (757 Market St.) Enjoy cocktails and entertainment at Openhouse’s 15th Annual Spring Fling Event. www.openhouse-sf.org

• 27 : M ONDAY

Socrates Café – The Commonwealth Club. $5 nonmembers. 6 pm. (555 Post St.) Enjoy a group-led evening discussing philosophical issues.

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SISTER DANA (continued from page 13)

OPENHOUSE, dedicated to LGBTQ senior housing, is throwing its 15th anniversary annual SPRING FLING! fundraiser brunch with fabulous cuisine of the Four Seasons Hotel, great wine, tempting silent auction items, unique opportunities to network and meet new friends, and special surprises at one of the most anticipated events of the season. April 26th, 11am-2pm, Four Seasons Hotel, Veranda Room, 757 Market Street. openhouse-sf.org LYRIC (LAVENDER R E C R E AT I O N

YOUTH AND

PHOTO BY KEN HARPER

EQUALITY CALIFORNIA presents the SAN FRANCISCO EQUALITY AWARDS on Saturday, April 18th at the beautiful Westin St. Francis on Union Square, 335 Powell Street. Equality Awards recipients have committed themselves to advancing LGBTQ civil rights and improving the lives of LGBTQ people. They include The Hon. Barney Frank, former EQCA Executive Director Geoff Kors and former EQCA Institute President Jody Cole, and Suzy Jones, founder and managing partner of DNA Ink LLC. eqcaawards. org Sister Dana in a rare pensive moment on Easter Sunday

INFORMATION CENTER) is holding their 27TH ANNUAL ANNIVERSARY OPEN HOUSE with free food and youth art displayed on April 30th at their home, 127 Collingwood & 18th Streets,5:307:30pm. lyric.org MAGNET, the Castro hub of health and social wellbeing for gay and bi men, is featuring VINCENT ESCARENO in the gallery this

ROSTOW (continued from page 15) If I had an extra five hundred words, I’d sing its praises.

Oh. Lastly, is it true that bisexual private eye Kalinda Sharma will be leaving The Good Wife after the current season? Say it ain’t so! Wonder if she’ll be killed by the enigmatic drug kingpin?

Not That There’s A ny t h ing Wrong with That We have a fairly conservative state lawmaker in Florida to thank for the fact that new adoption policies will not include a “conscience clause,” designed to allow religious and other adoption groups to shut the doors on gay parents. GOP state senator Don Gaetz delivered a convincing denunciation of the proposed clause on the senate floor April 8, leading to a voice vote against the amendment.

Later, Gaetz told Slate’s Mark Joseph Stern that the clause could have been used to discriminate against all sorts of parents, including mixed race families. As for gay rights, Gaetz told Stern that he has not “typically” been involved in gay issues, but that gay rights became part of the debate and his main concern was increasing the supply of adoptive homes.

Finally, I have learned from past columns that many of you do not follow professional golf, for some reason,

Pornucopia = This week’s flick pick is After Glow, hothouse.com Sister Dana sez, “April showers bring May flowers - and also hopefully help out with the drought!”

RIVER (continued from page 18)

and are therefore indifferent to my trenchant observations from the fairways. Bear with me please.

Mel and I were delirious with joy as our favorite golfer, ex-longhorn Jordan Spieth, won the Masters.

But we were nauseated by the commentators’ repetitive, fawning adulation for “Gentle Ben” Crenshaw, an underperforming ex-champion who, among other things, pulled his middle school daughters out of a private school in Austin several years ago because the heroic school refused to remove Annie Prouix’s prize winning short story, “Brokeback Mountain,” from the final semester senior English curriculum.

Not only does Crenshaw believe gays and lesbians are perverted, but also there’s nothing “gentle” about him. He was known for his temper on the course and as an added tidbit (warning, unsubstantiated allegation ahead) his ex-wife says he used to do lines of cocaine to get going in the morning. At any rate, it was Crenshaw’s last “competitive” round at the Masters (if you call 20 over par “competitive”) so he got tons of sappy and irritating attention. arostow@aol.com

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Frame 123

month. The artist brings an amazing explosion of color to Magnet. His show is called OUTLIERS. An outlier is someone who stands apart from others of his or her group, as by differing behavior, beliefs or religious practices.

In contrast to the trailblazing individuals in the outrageous Drag Series, is a culture that is often hidden and voiceless, with little representation in modern society: Native Americans. The exhibit ranges from the most extroverted drag queens down to the most introverted of people. Starting with the late Divine to RuPaul to Jinkx Monsoon (and other DQs) to Landa Lakes (representing both Native Americans and drag queens) to people in burkas with only their eyes revealed, to finally a figure with a basket over its head, gloves covering the hands, and only long black braids exposed. Truly thought-provoking!

Christian faith, and allow prayer to come into all of their discernment.

Kit admits that not being able to control the eventual outcome, and living in a time of “not-knowing” is challenging, as she is an A-type person who likes to figure everything out and then just go and do it. But with faith and a good dose of humility, she is able, along with Catherine, to be both prayerful and also keep the lines of communication open and peaceful with the other parents. And both trust that this will come to a good—a wonderful, in fact—outcome for both the boys and themselves and the stepparents.

I am once again awed and blessed to be able to observe two mature people entering into marriage in middle age, who exhibit so much wisdom as they operate from their strong values in resolving difficulties in the working out of the marriage and family they are creating together. And I must say, I think we are in an era—and have been for a while—where blended families of all sorts, with steps and in-laws and related and non-related family members, are the norm and not the exception.

I am excited to be able to bless Catherine and Kit’s marriage this fall, and trust that however this all gets worked out, these two wonderful, strong women will have a solid, whole and deeply-committed marriage!

Reverend Elizabeth River is an ordained Interfaith Minister based in the North Bay. For more information, please visit marincoastweddings.com

Save The Date!

Saturday, June 13 for the San Francisco Bay Times Pride Party!

“Kiss for the Bay Times” Photo Exhibit Sweet Inspiration 2239 Market Street Now Through Mid May

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BAY TIMES APRIL 1 6 , 2 0 1 5

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Round About - Easter Day Festivities

Photos by RINK

A combination of annual Easter activities and impromptu parties drew large crowds on Sunday, April 5, to Hellman Hollow in Golden Gate Park and multiple Castro venues including Café Flore and Harvey’s. Bunny ears and rabbit tails were by far the most popular among costume elements at all locations..

The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, celebrating their 36th Anniversary, hosted the Hunky Jesus Contest. “Baby Jesus,” introduced to the audience by Sister Roma and San Francisco Bay Times columnist Sister Dana, was selected by audience applause as the winner for 2015. Additional activities of the day included Children’s Easter, the Bonnet Contest and the Foxy Mary Contest. Entertainers performing on stage included Empress Khmera Rouge, Kippy Marks, Sundance Saloon, The Monster Show, TrashKan Marchink Band and more. Emcees were Mutha Chucka, Alex U. Inn, Sugah Betes and Kit Tapata.

BAY T IM ES APR IL 16, 2015

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