V10i52

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local name global coverage december 25, 2019 vol. 10 // issue 52

a d i r o l F h t u So

A Day In

lives T B G L l a c o l r u to yo n i k o o l a s i e u begins on page 9 oto iss

h

SFGN’s Annual p

SouthFloridaGayNews

@SFGN

SFGN.com


NEWS highlight

SouthFloridaGayNews.com

LGBT Truckers Hit The Road To Make a Difference in Tampa Bay Ryan Williams-Jent Watermark

@SFGN

December 25, 2019 • Volume 10 • Issue 52 2520 N. Dixie Highway • Wilton Manors, FL 33305 Phone: 954-530-4970 Fax: 954-530-7943

Publisher • Norm Kent Norm.Kent@sfgn.com

CEO • Pier Angelo Guidugli piero@sfgn.com

Associate Publisher / Executive Editor • Jason Parsley Jason.Parsley@sfgn.com

Editorial

Art Director • Brendon Lies Artwork@sfgn.com Digital Content Director • Justin Musial Webmaster@sfgn.com Arts/Entertainment Editor • J.W. Arnold JW@prdconline.com Social Media Manager • Tucker Berardi tberardi@ufl.edu Food/Travel Editor • Rick Karlin Gazette News Editor • Sallie James HIV Editor • Sean McShee Senior Photographer • J.R. Davis JRDavis12000@hotmail.com

The organization has six core members and represents more than 4,000 LGBTQ and ally truckers and supporters nationwide.

LGBT Truckers. Photos via LGBT Truckers, Facebook.

L

GBT Truckers, an organization dedicated to raising awareness about the growing diversity within the trucking industry, is hitting the road in Tampa Bay to spread some holiday cheer. The organization has six core members and represents more than 4,000 LGBTQ and ally truckers and supporters nationwide. They will team with the Pasco County-based, equality-focused Florida Trans Proud to host a variety of events Dec. 25-28. Events begin with a “Meals for 18 Wheels” event in Dade City and an outing on Dec. 27 will follow at Busch Gardens Tampa. Organizers will close out 2019 with a yearend bash benefiting St. Petersburg’s VFW Post No. 39 led by Tampa Bay entertainer Victoria Michaels on Dec. 28. Michaels has worked throughout the year to restore the post’s 175-seat theater. The evening will feature two inaugural

pageants, Miss New Face and Miss Florida Trans Proud, and begin at 7 p.m. Entry is $5. Each of the events will feature the group’s Rainbow Rider, a rig painted in the colors of the rainbow, marking the truck’s Florida debut. “We’re taking steps to create outings

within the LGBT community across the nation,” LGBT Truckers VP and Marketing Director Bobby Coffey-Loy says. “We love helping others and as the opportunity came about with Victoria, the VFW and Florida Trans Proud, it certainly has created some excitement.”

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Dori Zinn • Donald Cavanaugh • Christiana Lilly • Denise Royal • David-Elijah Nahmod

Contributing Columnists

Dana Rudolph • Ric Reily • Terri Schlichenmeyer

Associate Photographers Carina Mask • Steven Shires

Sales & Marketing

For ad placement in SFGN, contact 954-530-4970 Sales Manager • Justin Wyse Justin@sfgn.com Senior Advertising Associate • Edwin Neimann Edwin@sfgn.com Senior Advertising Associate • Clark Rogers Clark@sfgn.com Distribution Services • Rocky Bowell Sales Consultant • Charles A. Reid National Advertising Rivendell Media 212-242-6863 sales@rivendellmedia.com

SFGN Winner of & 5 Florida Press Club Awards And runner-up for

NLGJA Journalist of the Year

Associated Press •

Jesse Monteagudo

Correspondents

Accounting Services by CG Bookkeeping Printing by Sun Coast Press

Cover 1: at 11:42 a.m., Dale Lee, Joey, Wasabi, Lucy and Antonio Brito go for an afternoon stroll in Wilton Manors. Photo credit: Carina Mask. Cover 2: at 3:45 p.m., Adrienne Foland, her wife Amy Waxman and their dog Luna enjoy their outdoor living room at home in Wilton Manors. Submitted photo.

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Senior Features Correspondents

South Florida Gay News is published weekly. The opinions expressed in columns, stories, and letters to the editor do not represent the opinions of SFGN, or the Publisher. You should not presume the sexual orientation of individuals based on their names or pictorial representations. Furthermore the word “gay” in SFGN should be interpreted to be inclusive of the entire LGBT community. All of the material/columns that appears in print and online, including articles used in conjunction with the AP, is protected under federal copyright and intellectual property laws, and is jealously guarded by the newspaper. Nothing published may be reprinted in whole or part without getting written consent from the Publisher, at his law office, at Norm@NormKent.com. SFGN, as a private corporation, reserves the right to enforce its own standards regarding the suitability of advertising copy, illustrations and photographs. Copyright © 2019 South Florida Gay News.com, Inc.


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Publisher's Editorial

Convictions

A Celebration of Us x

Norm Kent

norm.kent@sfgn.com

Who Should Get Person of the Year? First of all, Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas. Our readers know that at the end of each year, SFGN acknowledges and applauds achievements in excellence within and for the LGBT community, national figures and local champions. We do not make our selections based on singular achievements within any calendar year, but rather by saluting accomplishments personally and professionally over a lifetime. Our choices reward community members whose lives have exhibited grace and dignity, voices and visionaries whose voyages have withstood the test of time. They have been straight allies like Hillary Clinton and respected journalists such as Anderson Cooper. They could be conservative or liberal, artists or authors, even politicians. If you have a suggestion for next week’s award winners, send it to me on Facebook in my Norm KENT page, or to norm.kent@sfgn.com. Come January, our pages will salute local leaders for 2019. This will be particularly exciting in January, when SFGN celebrates its tenth anniversary — at a party you are all invited to. It will be held on January 15 at Greico Ford in Fort Lauderdale, and we expect over 350 guests. Please come. You are invited. We will open the doors, give away some awards, celebrate our successes, acknowledge failures, and maybe sell some cars. I want that recreation

of Steve McQueen’s 1969 Mustang from the 50-year-old San Francisco based police detective movie, Buliitt. Mc Queen was the best. Like so many of our own friends, he died too young. But after seeing Ford vs Ferrari in the theaters this weekend, I gotta have it. Great movie if you love racing — even if you don’t. Anyway, to the point of this column. Let’s make this tenth anniversary special. SFGN is a print newspaper surviving, thanks to you, in a digital age. No easy task. We need your support more than ever. Printing, creative, and distribution costs are rising constantly. So let’s celebrate who we all are and what we have achieved together, while we can. Finally, feel free to email your suggestions for persons of the year, male and female, ally of the year, and youth activist of the year. Many are worthy. A few are special . I want to hear what you have to say. Get me the suggestions in the next week. Hope to see you January 15, or hear from you on the air any weekday from 3 to 5 p.m. on 1470 AM or wwnnradio.com. Thanks, and have a special holiday.

SFGN is a print newspaper surviving, thanks to you, in a digital age. No easy task. We need your support more than ever.

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Norm Kent

Norm Kent as he appears on his radio show, The Norm Kent Show.


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Nite Club Law If you drink, don’t drive. If you drive, don’t drink. If you do both, call us.

in memoriam

In Memory Of John Hitchcoch SFGN Staff

J

ohn Hitchcoch, former owner of Cubby Hole and long-time sponsor of South Florida Amateur Athletic Association, died recently from cancer. Here are a few quotes from people remembering him.

Criminal Defense Law Center 954.763.1900 Norman Elliott Kent

Russell Cormican

2520 N Dixie Hwy Wilton Manors, FL 33305

12 S.E. 7th Street, Suite 700 Fort Lauderdale, FL 33301

www.NormKent.com

“A true friend for 45 years... my mentor as a DJ who gave me my first break as a DJ. I will never forget him. I am sure those of you who knew him will not either.” — Kenny Silverman, Chairman of the SFAAA. “He blessed me with 26 wonderful years together. He was the kindest and most unselfish person you could meet. John touched many people in his life and has many special friends. It’s the saddest day I’ve ever experienced.” — Jay Jones, Hitchcoch’s Partner. “John always had a giving heart and did a lot through his years in this community. Thank you for your commitment to our community and league. Thoughts and prayers for all those grieving from this loss.” — Rocky Bowell, member of the SFAAA.

“John was a longtime sponsor of the gay softball league as owner of Cubby Hole. He also had a deep passion for bowling as he founded the Bear Bowl Invitational, a league that competed on Sunday nights at Manor Lanes. He also had a great passion for cats, politics and a cold beer. While he has been laying low for the last few years, the work he did as a business owner in South Florida should never be forgotten. He has dreams of buying property and retiring in the mountains of North Carolina. But unfortunately he won’t be able to fulfill that dream.” — Tim Martin, friend and former SFAAA Chair.

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Last summer, the AIDS Healthcare Foundation presented the greater Fort Lauderdale community with a bold initiative to address the low-income housing crisis in the city. Partnering with a coalition of nonprofit organizations, including the United Way, AHF announced plans to break ground on a housing complex for low-income residents in Fort Lauderdale. SFGN saluted the effort then, and stands by it today. The LGBT community is a part of our city, not apart from it. There are gay and lesbian men and women in our midst who struggle to pay their rent and meet their needs. We are not all affluent. Our sunny shores radiate opportunity, but not everyone prospers and tans. Some of us get burnt. Nearly a year has past, and AHF should have been able to launch their project. But the city staff is blocking them, neighbors are blacklisting them, and city officials, including the mayor, are retreating inexcusably and unconscionably. We won’t have it. These are the toxic effects of the perverted “Not-In-My-Backyard-You-Won’t Syndrome,”— we love you, we love you, we love you — as long as you don’t move in next door. The truth is that this project is not even “next door.” The housing complex proposal is for a parcel of land near many other small apartments and office buildings, not far from the county courthouse, accessible to public transportation. Last week, the city attorney rendered an opinion that the new development should be classified as a ‘social services residential facility.’ This makes the complex a ‘non permitted use.’ I take exception to that finding. In my judgment, it is flawed. While there is a lot of legalese involved, we think it is subject to a broader interpretation, permissible under local zoning codes. In other words, the city attorney is playing with words to tie a noose around AHF’s neck. But what is being hung instead is Justice. One day, a vote will be cast in the public record. One day, our elected commissioners will have to put their money with their mouth is. They can’t speak out for hope and opportunity in one breath while denying it with the other. Over 789,000 Floridians spend more than half of their income on rent each month. There is little left over for health care and insurance needs. Low-income housing frees up money for financially challenged families to use on basic necessities. AHF is a leader in health care for our community. They understand good health starts with people having a good home, and a place to hang your hat; to be sheltered from the storm. Common sense dictates we move the project forward, not slow it down. A caring community should embrace the opportunity to create a place where less wealthy residents find and secure clean and safe housing. A concerned city commission would endorse the AHF proposal, not run from it. Over a history of decades, Fort Lauderdale officials disgraced themselves by subordinating the needs of its disenfranchised populations. We once even had a mayor who encouraged citizens to pour bleach in their garbage cans to discourage desperate people from poaching for food. In 2019, can we please move to a higher moral plateau? Across America, from NY to LA, we are witnessing a growing tide of homelessness in urban communities. Tent cities are being set up. We do not have to let this happen here. We can lead the way by providing modest accommodations for those who can afford low-income housing. The employable residents of this proposed complex would have easy access to mass transit and those scooters popping up on every corner of downtown. There will be downtown jobs in the hospitality industry and on the beach within their reach. The Fort Lauderdale project is specifically targeted to families, along with assisting low-income and chronically ill individuals, focusing on sustainable rental-toownership models. It is designed to be a home, not a hospital. This project will not hurt Rio Vista, but it will help those who can’t afford to live there. We can’t let the false concerns of the rich deny the legitimate concerns of those not so blessed with such good fortune. AHF has been working to address the housing needs of the chronically ill for 30 years. They were once in the forefront of advocating ADAP housing in Miami. This is not their first rodeo. They have fought this fight before. They should be applauded, not accosted. An affordable roof over your head creates and fosters self-esteem. No matter how small, it gives you something you can call your own. We are all but a step away from walking in soles that are torn. But let our souls be full, caring for those who need help. What is right is not always popular, and what is popular is not always right. The city commissioners and our mayor, particularly, should embrace this project. They cannot afford to do less. You can’t help but notice that the city of Fort Lauderdale is redoing its Andrews Avenue Bridge. Build one low-income families can cross as well. We bill ourselves as the Venice of America. Let’s make sure everyone has a gondola to row and paddle just above the tides, not to sink under them. Let’s make sure Mayors who drive Mercedes-Benz Maybachs do not forget the citizens who can’t afford scooters. They are his constituency as well. Don’t just give them your voice through lip service. Give them your vote. Editorial published in South Florida Gay News, September 25th, 2019.

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 Wills and Trust/Estate Planning  Medicaid Planning and Applications  Long Term Care Planning and Asset Protection  Durable Powers of Attorney  Probate & Trust Administration  Elder Law

Convictions

Editorial Cartoon

Editorial Cartoon By Mike Luckovich


T B G L A Day In a d i r o l F h t u So

Early Morning

On November 30, 2019, SFGN assigned its photographers to capture one day in the life of South Florida’s LGBT community. We also asked our readers to submit their own photos. Too often in the news we read about the famous, the politicians, or the celebrities. Rarely do we hear about the people that actually make up the LGBT community – from the bartenders, waiters and hairdressers to the retirees and drag queens. That’s why this issue celebrates the lives of the everyday LGBT person. These photos are a reminder that the

LGBT community is numerous and diverse. We like to play softball, walk our dogs, raise funds for charities, shop, work, eat and play. These photos show the normality of being LGBT. We are the same. All of us. We do the same thing. We live and enjoy the same lives as our straight counterparts. We all have more in common than we do apart. We are a part of each other. Additional photos are available online at SFGN.com/LGBTDay2019.

ilton Stage in W the Manor n o ez p ifer Lo ing as Jenn avis. rds perform edit: J.R. D Lo cr a to sh o a Ph S . 2 a.m. Manors

1:30 a.m. - Chris and Eli welcoming everyone into Johnsons in Wilton Manors. Photo credit: J.R. Davis.

Special Thanks to the Photographers Carina Mask Steven Shires

J.R. Davis Stephen Lang

Charlie Fredrickson ... and all of YOU!

12:30 a.m. Victor and A lbert out for th eir Saturday Wilton Manor night walk do s. Photo cred wn the Drive it: J.R. Davis. in

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MORNING

Greet the day.

7:12 a.m. - Front Runners Sal Anaya Lopez hugs Patrick Daly before starting their stretches and warm up at the Pride Center in Wilton Manors. Photo credit: Carina Mask.

11:49 a.m. - Antonio Dumas poses with a Giant Haribo bear and lollipop at To the Moon in Wilton Manors. Photo credit: Carina Mask.

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11:42 a.m. - Dale Lee, Joey, Wasabi, Lucy and Antonio Brito go for an afternoon stroll in Wilton Manors. Photo credit: Carina Mask.


MORNING

Rise and grind!

10:24 a.m. - Dana Merrill and Steve Martin drinking their coffees at Java Boys in Wilton Manors. Photo credit: Carina Mask.

10 a.m. - Joe Sayer relaxes and browses the SFGN web site for news, while by the pool of the Devonshire Condominium in Victoria Park. Photo credit: Chuck LaChance.

Rudy Galindo and Avion Goordeen at Java Boys sharing a cup of coffee. They traveled from West Palm Beach to join the Front Runners on their weekly Saturday morning run in Wilton Manors. Rudy and Avion are members of the Night Runners, the LGBT running group in West Palm Beach. Submitted photo.

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Morning

Batter up! The 25th annual Hurricane Showdown took place over Thanksgiving weekend at Mills Pond Park in Fort Lauderdale.

at sses his h ard he lo h . so ll sk a a the b rina M uffey hits redit: Ca . - Nick D rst base. Photo c .m a 3 :3 8 nting to fi while spri

8:55 a.m. - Orlando Voltage and Fort Lauderdale Noize give each other high fives after the game. Photo credit: Carina Mask.

8:30 a.m. - Charles Dunn of Primetime Elite from Atlanta settles right up to the plate to hit a homerun. Photo credit: Carina Mask.

watches ile as he sm a s m a Mask. Gee bea dit: Carin Terr y Mc re c . to .m o a h P 8:03

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ld. hit the fie his team


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MORNING

Make the Most of Today!

11:08 a.m. - Arianna Lint and her mother sitting next to each other at home. Photo credit: Carina Mask.

Associate Publisher Jason Parsley's cat, Juno, waking up from a late morning nap with her daddy. Photo credit: Jason Parsley.

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9:29 a.m. - Theo launches his canoe into the Middle River on Saturday mornings. Photo credit: Carina Mask.

8:45 a.m. - Ray Struble, Lincoln and Brian McNaught having a lazy Saturday morning in their home in Wilton Manors. Submitted photo.


On the move!

morning

Front Runners and Walkers Fort Lauderdale. The LGBT running group meets Saturdays, Sundays and Wednesdays. For more info visit www.FRWFL.org. Submitted photo.

9:17 a.m. - Julie Carson poses next to her bike near Colohatchee Park. Photo credit: Carina Mask.

7:42 a.m. - The Front runners start off their 6 mile run on Saturday morning at the Pride Center. Photo credit: Carina Mask.

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MORNING

Jenni Martin gives great service to Michael Stockert. Photo credit: Steven Shires.

11:52 a.m. - Dennis St. Jean is shopping for gifts for his friends and family at To the Moon. Photo credit: Carina Mask.

9:32 a.m. - Lulu and her human dad go for morning strolls near Colohatchee Park in Wilton Manors. Photo credit: Carina Mask.

9:43 a.m. - A Wilton Manors resident, David Popov about to leave his home to take his sister out to lunch. Photo credit: Carina Mask.

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Collecting dreams...


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MORNING

The key to success

10:36 a.m. - Kyle Chavez at Ocean Liquor & Fine Wine in Wilton Manors. Photo credit: Carina Mask.

11 a.m. - Arianna Lint after a long day doing a garage sale to raise money for Arianna’s Center. Photo credit: Carina Mask.

11:35 a.m. - Julio washes his truck on a leisurely Saturday morning. Photo credit: Carina Mask.

10:33 a.m. - Timothy Christopher poses with a beach ball under his arm at Ball Sportswear in Wilton Manors. Photo credit: Carina Mask. 10:26 a.m. - James Beaudet is opening up Mix Menswear and prepares for Small Business Saturday sales, an annual shopping day held on the Saturday after Thanksgiving to encourage people to patronize businesses that are small and local. Photo credit: Carina Mask.

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AFTERNOON

2:23 p.m. - Lisa, long time barista at Storks in Wilton Manors is brewing up a mean cappuccino. Photo credit: Carina Mask.

Noon - Dennis Manning strums his guitar and sings songs from "Now and Then," a musical he and Ronnie Larsen, a local actor-director-playwright-producer, created. Photo credit: Carina Mask.

3:56 p.m. - Chip eats ice cream from Dairy Queen. Photo credit: Carina Mask.

On An Adventure! 20

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4:28 p.m. - Aspen Roberts strikes a pose at Hush Spa and Barber in Wilton Manors. Photo credit: Carina Mask.


AFTERNOON

4:21 p.m. - Debbi Burke is preparing for a busy Small Business Saturday following the holidays. Photo credit: Carina Mask.

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AFTERNOON

Embrace the Wild

Pond n at Mills Showdow e n a ic rr g. g the Hu phen Lan an durin credit: Ste m Freedm to a o d h P A . 's le rda Unicorn ort Laude Orlando Park in F

4 p.m. - Carina Mask – captured! – stalking the Drive while looking for her own images for A Day in LGBT South Florida! Photo credit: Steven Shires.

Kelly Anderson & Ericha Lichter pop in Georgie's Alibi/Monkey Bar in Wilton Manors for a quick cocktail. Photo credit: Stephen Lang.

ilton nter in W Pride Ce e h T t a park g. phen Lan fun at the les have credit: Ste to o h P The Ang . rs Mano

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Within Yourself


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AFTERNOON

4:00 p.m. - Coco Alarcon Acosta walks around the parks in Wilton Manors looking for inspiration. Photo credit: Carina Mask.

relaxing Pherson evin Mc K . & to s o o itted ph do Paz h. Subm h Arman c it a w e b ll e le w Max uderda on Fort La

"Special moment with my youngest, Charley, at home. Nothing but chores later." – Steven Rule. Submitted photo.

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Having a...


... Pawesome day!

AFTERNOON

3:45 p.m. - Adrienne Foland with her wife Amy Waxman and their dog Luna at home in Wilton Manors enjoying their outdoor living room. Submitted photo.

This was a w ork-day arou nd the house who also did day for Rona some pressu ld Farago in re-cleaning fo Oakland Park moment to re r Post Pressu lax in his fro , re Cleaning. nt yard with Here he took his dog Popi a . Submitted ph oto.

pers, Duke exhausted Chom couch with an ach. his Be on s nia he Da as Norm cr ke Dog Park in SFGN Publisher the Tiger Tail La at im sw a ter orm Kent. and Dusty af Photo credit: N

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AFTERNOON

No ocean too deep...

r, ss, mystic, autho ns Activist, actre singh at ine 5:45 p.m. - Tra ar N jee Ra rsonality and reality TV pe oking dinner. day evening co tur Sa a on me ho o. ot ph Submitted

Coconut Cre ek - Mitchell Grant and C ledson Faustin o Grant tryin g on their "X Submitted ph mas crowns." oto.

"On the Rio Negro in the Amazon on our last day of vacation having a beach BBQ of fresh fish." – Michael Fowler with his partner, David Mittleman. Submitted photo.

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No mountain too high.

AFTERNOON

4 p.m. - DJs Rick Braile and Paulo Fragoso spin the Matinee Pool Party in Miami.

journey Ben and Dylan s (front), Sean, Lie n . do re en Br ntu r ir next adve N Art Directo in search of the 5:48 p.m. - SFG Broward County s. Lie n do together across en Photo credit: Br

3:30 p.m. Thomas and J. Michael H eider getting Circuit Miam ready to ente i Pool Party. r the Photo credit: J.R. Davis.

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EVENING

Lake Worth Cultural Plaza. Back, left to right: Joe Cotler, Marisa Helton-Cotler, Chris Griffin, Robin Cotler. Front, left to right: Lee Keever, Julie Seaver, Kyle Whittaker, Dan Koenig. Submitted photo.

Ryan Meehan and Scott Velozo celebrating a birthday in West Palm Beach. Submitted photo.

Partners DĂźnny Potter and Mike Nemerof in New York City for Thanksgiving weekend. "We pause to wonder at our first time together at Times Square, bracing the cold arm in arm, warmed by the sight of so many lights and by the fire in our hearts." Submitted photo.

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29


EVENING

Show your ...

8 p.m. - Fort Lauderdale Artwalk, hosted by MASS District. The monthly event takes place on the last Saturday from 6-10 p.m. Photo credit: Steven Shires. 8:30 p.m. - Seen! Bonney and Peter Dekaj of Storks Bakery roaming and enjoying the evening. Photo credit: Steven Shires.

Daddy Danny (Larrimore) welcoming people in style at the 2019 Leather Masked Ball at Scandals in Wilton Manors. Photo credit: Stephen Lang. Patrick O'Connor & Joey White have fun on Wilton Drive barhopping. Photo credit: Stephen Lang.

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... true colors!

EVENING

9:15 p.m. - Accomplished and popular artist Eric Estrada working on a new piece for a client at the Fort Lauderdale Artwalk. Photo credit: Steven Shires.

12.25.2019 •

31


EVENING

12:05 a.m. – Tony D’Amico and little Daisy enjoy a night at the Mad Hatter Lounge in Lake Worth. Photo credit: Charlie Fredrickson.

Aydin Koymen and SFGN Associate Publisher Jason Parsley enjoying dinner with friends at Texas Roadhouse in Boynton Beach. Photo credit: Jason Parsley.

9:44 p.m. - Brendon Lies ends the night with a light treat at the Dairy Queen in Pompano Beach. Photo credit: Brendon Lies.

The party continues 32

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8 p.m. - Julie Seaver and Penny Johnson at the Christmas Tree Lighting at the downtown Lake Worth Beach Cultural Plaza. Submitted photo.


12.25.2019 •

33


EVENING

Raise your glasses.

Derek Dodge and Chris Dillon in their driveway in Middle River Terrace getting ready to go out for date night. Submitted photo.

8 p.m. - Fort Lauderdale Artwalk, hosted by MASS District. Photo credit: Steven Shires.

11 p.m. - Nick, Tad and Tim at the 14th Leather Masked Ball. Photo credit: J.R. Davis.

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Above: 10:15 p.m. New York City Husbands Wayne Pawlowski (left) and Ted Heath of Wilton Manors get out of part 2 of the Inheritance on Broadway...after seeing part 1 in the afternoon. Submitted photo.


EVENING

10:30 p.m. Wes t Palm Beach - Ro y Rodriguez celeb rates his 50th bir thday! Submitted photo.

Ira Katz, Ben Sunshine, Jeff Wolmietz, Aydin Koymen and Jason Parsley, eating dinner at Texas Roadhouse in Boynton Beach. Photo credit: Jason Parsley.

Scot Blumbstein and partner Randy Lee have fun with their friends at the 2019 Leather Masked Ball at Scandals. Photo credit: Stephen Lang. ll at Scandals Leather Masked Ba tch Woring at the Ha ren ar W . vis an . Da L. John and barm s. Photo credit: J.R in Wilton Manor

12.25.2019 •

35


All day

ds into The Manor. 1 a.m. - Nickola working the crow Photo credit: J.R. Davis.

But wait...

! e r o M s ' There

Casa Ga rten-Shire s doing p work, g rep etting rea d y to deck th halls. "H e appy Ho lidays!" Photo cre dit: Steve n Shires.

8:10 a.m. - Saturday Mo rning Poolside. Submit ted photo.

Hernan Va lverde has fun hangin g out with Zacher y w his boys Ty hile visiting ler & fo r the holida Photo cred ys. it: Stephen Lang.

ng on labeling, illiam Brierly worki W rk Pa nd . kla 12:05 p.m. Oa s. Submitted photo ing holiday card writing and send

3 a.m. - Ta ran from H unters mee friends Juno ting with hi and Jake. s Photo cred it: J.R. Davi s.

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11 a.m. Port Everglades - SFGN freelancer Jesse Monteagudo at work at the Port. Submitted photo.

rking her Lords wo P T . rowd. .m 2:30 a Manor c e for the c n . a is v rm a o perf dit: J.R. D Photo cre

Fort cean (off Atlantic O photo. e th g in ted enjoy ). Submit Spencer le Beach Lauderda

2:05 p.m. - Robert Ha nsen and S Chicago, b teve Schne y their boa ider, snow t "Where Th birds from e Buoys Are in Coral Ri dge, Fort La " at their w uderdale. inter home Submitted photo.


All day

a night out on the Drive. Midnight - Lugo coming home from Photo credit: J.R. Davis.

4:15 p.m . - Trans Activist, a mystic, a ctress, uthor, an d reality personali TV ty Rajee Narinesi home rea ngh at ding "Th e Amazin of Delibe g Power rate Inten t” by Esth Jerr y Hic er & ks. Subm itted pho to.

l Springs .m. Cora 10:15 a joys a antee en - Marck S pool. is h t swim a morning d photo. Submitte

h Hallandale Beac brunch at Etaru in to lf se him ng . ati oto bmitted ph John Porter tre awn and Eber. Su with Horacio, Sh

Gary McCarthy captures a glimpse of the sunrise in Fort Lauderdale. Submitted photo. rking rooks wo - Dylan B for h h c c a e te B r oynton c monito ia rd a c 8 a.m. B a d job as d photo. his secon . Submitte Bethesda

Joao Gomes having a g reat night a popping in nd DrYnk to ch eck in on hi friends. Ph s oto credit: Stephen La ng.

ke the ady to ta lf e gets re n o g Yourse tr e ra P D a Riann g. key Bar's n n o La M n e i/ h b 's Ali : Step Georgie oto credit stage. Ph h c n ru B to

enjoying Fort Lauderdale) nderMeulen (from Vo . ike oto M ph d d an itte ns West. Subm Timothy Lyo e Rum Bar in Key a Rum Flight at Th

2 p.m. - The Aldi’s at Co mmercial and 18th wa s nearly empty, thanks to everyone’s sto ck of Thanksgiving left overs at home. Photo credit: Steven Shi res.

12.25.2019 •

37


Midnight

Mid

. . . t h g i n

! t I e d a M e W Thanks for joining us this year for our feature of just a normal day in LGBT life! There is no one experience that defines our daily lives. No one face represents us, and nothing holds us back. With 2020 on the way, many are looking forward to a fresh new start in the decade to come. But these photos are here to remind us that

when you face the world one day at a time, there's always bound to be victory. As we look forward to whatever 2020 will bring, may we all remember the good times spent together as well as look forward to the many everyday adventures ahead! Don't forget to check out the rest online at SFGN.com/LGBTDay2019.

1:40 a.m. – Bartenders Rolf Florexil and Mark Duarte in between slinging drinks at HG Roosters, West Palm Beach. Photo credit: Charlie Fredrickson.

1:20 a.m. – Kataleya Davenport Dupree, Miss Palm Beach Pride 2019, takes part in weekly Lip Sync challenge at HG Roosters, West Palm Beach. Photo credit: Charlie Fredrickson.

Midnight - Johan Crixus and Glenn finish the night at the Leather Masked Ball. Photo credit: J.R. Davis.

38

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39


95.3 FM 96.9 FM

103.9 FM 1470 AM

spirituality

SouthFloridaGayNews.com

Afternoon Drive... local and LIVE. Call-in line: 888-565-1470

3-5 P.M. MONDAY - FRIDAY

See past shows on youtube at

bit.ly/2OzWjlI

Live streaming • wwnnradio.com

A LITTLE BIT OF FAITH AND

PRIDE ALL ARE WELCOME SFGN is here for you, no matter who — or what — keeps you going. Check out the Spirituality Section each week to stay in touch with your local religious LGBT community. The only requirement? Be yourself.

SEE MORE ONLINE AT SFGN.COM/TABLE/NEWS/RELIGION 40

1 2.25.2019

LISTINGS All Souls Episcopal Church 4025 Pine Tree Drive. Miami Beach Sundays at 8am and 10:30am. 305-520-5410 | allsoulsmb.org Congregation Etz Chaim 2038 N. Dixie Hwy (Pride Center Building B), Wilton Manors 954-564-9232 - etzchaimflorida.org RabbiNoahKitty@etzchaimflorida.org Friday Night Shabbat Service 8p.m. Holy Angels Catholic Community 2917 NE 6th Avenue Wilton Manors 954-633-2987 - HolyAngelsFL.net Sunday Mass at 11AM Christ Lutheran Church 1955 E. Oakland Park Blvd., Ft. Lauderdale (954) 564-7673 - christlutheranfl.org pastordeborah@christlutheranfl.org Worship: Sunday 10:00am DARSHAN CENTER FOR SPIRITUAL EVOLUTION 1410 NE 26th Street Wilton Manors, Fl 33305 917-579-3750 www. darshancenterwiltonmanors.org RevDrGTelesco@gmail.com Interfaith Spiritual Services on Sundays 6:30PM Spiritual Study Group Thursdays 7PM

Church of our Savior, MCC Church of Our Savior, MCC 2011 S. Federal Hwy. Boynton Beach. churchofoursaviormcc.org | 561-733-4000 Sunday Service 10AM Fountain of Love Ministries 5481 FL-7, Tamarac, FL 33319 954-486-5959 fountainofloveonline.org Pastor Dallas Walker-Green Worship: Sunday Mornings at 11:00 am St. Nicholas Episcopal Church 1111 E. Sample Road, Pompano Beach 954-942-5887 - stnicholasfl.org office@stnicholasfl.org Sundays 8:00AM & 10:30AM (9:30AM only from Memorial Day through Labor Day) First Congregational United Church of Christ 1415 North K Street, Lake Worth 561-582-6691 - fcclw.org office@lakeworthchurch.org Service Time: Sunday 10:30AM United Church of Christ Fort Lauderdale 2501 NE 30th Street, Fort Lauderdale (954)563-4271 - uccftl.org revpatrickrogers@gmail.com Service Times: Thursdays 10:30AM (Elliot Hall) & Sundays 10:30AM (Sanctuary)


FAITH & PRIDE spirituality

All

What’s In A Name?

Souls’ Epi copal Church

All Are Welcome!

A Wish For The New Year

CHRISTMAS EVE MASS 4PM AND 10PM CHRISTMAS DAY MASS 10AM

Rev. Mark Andrew Jones, BSG St. Nicholas Episcopal Church

Souls’ Epi copal All

Church

4025 PINE TREE DRIVE, MIAMI BEACH 305-520-5410

| ALLSOULSMB.ORG

CHURCH OF OUR SAVIOR, MCC 2011 S. Federal Highway, Boynton Beach, FL 33435

Holy Angels National Catholic Church 2917 NE 6th Ave Wilton Manors, FL 33334 Facebook.com/HolyAngelsFL www.HolyAngelsFL.org

Wherever You Are On God’s LGBTQIA Rainbow, You Are Welcome...

SUNDAY SERVICE 10 A.M. Rev. Rick Rhen-Sosbe, Pastor

W

954-633-2987

561-733-4000

Photo via PxHere.

hen I entered the Brotherhood of Saint Gregory and took a name-in-religion (“Mark Andrew”), I was obligated by the time I took my Vows to change my legal name to conform. I chose “Andrew” not because he was the first apostle to follow Jesus but, rather, because he was completely overshadowed (then and now) by his brother, Peter. It was Peter to whom Jesus said, “You are the rock on which I build my church.” It was Peter who seemed to be part of an inner circle around Jesus (along with James and John). Whereas the scriptures leave the impression that Peter was widely recognized, Andrew was only identifiable when described as Peter’s brother. Yet, it was Andrew who first followed Jesus; and it was Andrew who brought Peter to Jesus. Andrew must have had great strength of character to be a modest disciple who did not receive any of the recognition he arguably deserved. By making “Andrew” part of my name, I hoped it would serve as a reminder to develop a similar strong sense of character – one that is not oversensitive to the views and perceptions of others but confident in a right ordering of priorities and “the mission.” As good fortune would have it, I then was called to St. Nicholas Episcopal Church. Here I have learned about the character of our patron, St. Nicholas. He was one who

“Love without judgement”

www.ChurchOfOurSaviorMCC.org

could not see a person in need without helping. This is why St. Nicholas is the patron saint of more causes than any other saint, ranging from children, young women and prostitutes, sailors, pawnbrokers, and repentant thieves, to entire nations (e.g., Russia and Greece). Furthermore, when St. Nicholas came to someone’s aid, he preferred to do so anonymously, eschewing the fame and recognition people so often chase and for which many trample on others. For me, all the good Andrew and Nicholas did in their lives, their strength of character, their concern for the needs of others, along with their modesty and humility, are summed up in their names; such that whenever someone addresses me as “Mark Andrew” or mentions the church community I serve, St. Nicholas, I am given a mental image of my best self, of the person I would like to be. For my personal New Year’s Resolution, I pray I might live as Andrew and Nicholas lived – with strength of character, universal concern for others, and modesty. I further pray that individually and collectively as a country – one nation under God – we might stop all the fighting, regain our sense of honor and compassion, and be our best selves. Wishing you a Very Happy New Year! “Let’s hope it’s a good one, without any fear.”

MCC, Transforming Ourselves as We Transform The World

A home for your spirit. Mass Schedule: Sabado 6:00 PM misa en español • Sunday 11:00 AM mass in English • All are welcome!

Christ Lutheran Church 1955 East Oakland Park Blvd. Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33306 www.christlutheranfl.org

Sunday Service @ 10am Fellowship after Service

Join us for Shabbat service Every Friday night at 8pm The 2nd Saturday of every month $15 Door includes 7 games Specials 3 cards for $1 Food available for purchase: Hot dogs, drinks, chips Doors open 6:30pm/Play starts 7pm Cash only please

Learn more about our many programs & events www.EtzChaimFlorida.org

Congregation Etz Chaim

2038 N. Dixie Hwy, Wilton Manors, FL 33305, on the Pride Center campus For more information: www.EtzChaimFlorida.org or 954Ͳ564Ͳ9232 12.25.2019 •

41


lifestyle two guys and a dog

‘You Needn’t Come Back’ Brian McNaught

Photo via PxHere.

W

ith my hand on my heart, taking easy, deep breaths, I mentally chose a picture of my younger self, as instructed by my spiritual guide. Gramps sat smiling in his favorite Stickley chair, in front of the brick fireplace, in their camp on Pleasant Lake. I sat nearby, awkward in my skinny, teenage body. Sadly, I remembered the lost, lonely, very anxious high school student who kept secrets, and beat back fears by being bigger than life. I was smart, funny, good looking, and popular, but I was a failure in the world of peer-approved sexual thought and behavior. And, no one knew. I compassionately pulled my young self to me with great confidence, self-love, and assurance. “I am so sad,” I said, “that you had to go through this. You’re a lovely person, good outside and in, full of love for God, and the world, but hogtied by an unenlightened culture. You deserved so much better. I promise you that you’ll be happier than you can possibly imagine.” “Really?” my young self asked with some doubt. “You’re happy as a homosexual? I was smart, You’re not disowned by our parents, or our funny, good Church? Does everybody know? Will I be beat up? When will this happen? When will looking, and it get better?” popular, but I We are now melded in our mutually strong and intense embrace. He finds great comfort was a failure in my pride, my strength of purpose, and my in the world of sense of being totally loved. It’s a surprise to him. He had no idea. And then he saw more, peer-approved beneath the tough layers of healed wounds. sexual thought He saw that he would come out to his parents after college, feel accepted, but nevertheless and behavior. teenage boy. I had grown into a formidable lion, sought sympathy and understanding. drink paint thinner and take pills. Why? He And, no one and I wanted to protect him. What if my next guided imagery wasn’t spent as a mission saw that he would be fired for being gay, and “I know what you’re feeling,” he said to me as of mercy, visiting a young man I see as a victim, abused by publicly scorned. He saw hate mail and death knew. he slowly pulled away, and sat back down on the ignorance and intolerance? He says he’s okay, that I have to threats, rejection from the Church hierarchy, sofa near Gramps. “You want to rescue me, but let him live out his life with the circumstances he inherited. and even from many gay people. But, he you can’t, and you don’t need to. I need to go through this, I know that he’s strong enough. He is me. So maybe, in my wasn’t overwhelmed. My young, teenage self lingered long enough in our embrace and it sucks, but I’m okay. I’m strong, clever, and resilient. I own mind, at least, I should try to let go of my defensiveness to see Ray, and our 43 years of deep, abiding love. He saw a pile have what I need to withstand this fear and loneliness. And, of the drama. Is that possible? Is that not my identity, my of my books and DVDs, and watched me speak about being I need this experience to become you. I’m going through this reason for being? The part I play? so that you can write and speak about it. You needn’t come Maybe, I’ve been freed from my role of protector of the gay to audiences around the world. story. But, if so, what will it be like to move forward as if “They pay you to talk about being a homosexual?” he asked back to me again. But, how was this happening, and what did it mean to my past no longer needs my attention? Is it possible to fly in astonishment. “Yes, handsomely,” I replied. “Plus, you and I help a lot of people love themselves, and their gay, lesbian, be told by my teenage self that I needn’t mourn with anger unencumbered, trusting that what “was” doesn’t need fixing and sadness the loneliness and fear I felt as an adolescent? in order for me to be let down the cautionary signs around bisexual, transgender, and queer children.” “What’s ‘lesbian,’ and ‘transgender’?” he asked. “And why I’ve been relaying that story for 45 years, not as a victim my heart? I look forward to trying to walk the path with this would you ever use the word ‘queer’? I hate the word, ‘queer’.” anymore, but as a survivor and a thriver. Nevertheless, I heavy load left by the side of the road. “Trust me,” I whispered, my hand still on my heart, still breathing gently but deeply during this guided meditation. “You’ll understand, and be a champion on their behalf.” We were instructed to say “goodbye” to ourselves. I resisted. Brian McNaught has been a leading educator on LGBTQ issues globally since 1974. He has I had more to say, but I knew I could come back on my own made his many books and DVDs available for free at Brian-McNaught.com. The New York at any time. I felt so sad for myself when I looked at me as a

Times named him “The Godfather of gay diversity training.”

42

1 2.25.2019


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On Monday, Dec. 9, three pageants in one hit the stage at The Venue Fort Lauderdale. The vibrant event featured the Miss Florida Supreme pageant, the Mr. Florida Pageant, and the Miss Florida At Large Pageant. Pictured here from left to right is the pageant co-owner Alyson Thomas, Miss Florida at Large winner Kimberly Venom, Miss Florida 2019 winner Kylee Hunter, Mr. Florida M.E. Raul Vegas, Miss Florida Supreme winner Erika Norell, and pageant co-owner Scott Holland. Photo credit: J.R. Davis. To see more, visit SFGN on Facebook. Note: In the December 18 issue of SFGN, we mistakenly identified Kimberly Venom as Noel Leon, and mistakenly named Carlos as Mr. Florida ME rather than Raul. SFGN regrets the errors.

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43


lifestyle food

New Year’s Dining Rick Karlin

Photo via DUNE, Facebook.

O

n New Year’s Eve, before you blow your horn or toss your confetti (both of which sound like a euphemism for something unseemly) it is traditional to enjoy an upscale meal. Here are some places to consider for your celebratory repast. Tropics will be hopping on New Year’s Eve especially since it’s offering one of the best deals in town. For $49.95 (tax and tip not included) enjoy a four-course meal with a choice of oysters Rockefeller or shrimp cocktail then move on to lobster bisque or a Caprese salad. Entrée options include beef Wellington, lamb chop, Chilean sea bass or osso bucco, with a choice of side dish. Dessert selections include cannoli, apple crisp and tira misu. In addition to coffee, tea or iced tea, unlimited champagne will be served. Seating times are at 6, 8 and 10 p.m. Diners at Dune can enjoy a five-course, prix-fixe menu; the 6-7 p.m. seating is $135 per person and the 9-10 p.m. seating is $175 per person. Guests can choose between the Land or Sea menus. Those choosing the pescatarian option can start with a “tease” of Kusshi oyster with passion

fruit; white sturgeon caviar with blini, creme fraiche, chive and smoked wahoo tostada; followed by wakame salad with swordfish crudo and aguachile negro. The main course choices include poached lobster tail or grilled langoustine. For carnivores the Land menu offers a different amuse — foie gras with brioche before moving on to braised oxtail croquette or a chicory salad with beef carpaccio. The entrée options are Wagyu strip loin or rib-eye. Dessert for all is a Black Forest chocolate namelaka served with mascarpone, guava and banana flambé. The French Horn Collective, a five-piece band, will entertain guests until midnight, and there will be a DJ on the patio from 9 p.m. until closing. There will be a Moet Champagne toast at midnight and a Veuve Clicquot Champagne Wall as well as plenty of fun party favors. There is also an open bar option from 9 p.m. until closing, for $100 per person.

Tropics will be hopping on New Year’s Eve especially since it’s offering one of the best deals in town.

The Pub will be offering its regular menu but will also have a NYE special for $25. It includes haddock Florentine with lobster Newberg sauce or stuffed chicken breast. Both dinners include soup or salad and a side dish.

Photo via Elisabetta’s, Facebook.

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1 2.25.2019

Elisabetta’s Ristorante, the hottest spot in Delray will offer special dishes, available à la carte and wine pairings will be available, as well. The selection includes; foie gras terrine, raviolo stuffed with ricotta and soft egg yolk, lobster in black truffle butter and duck breast with confit leg. Special dessert preparations include souffle grappa and golden olive oil gelato. The kitchen will be open until midnight. The bar will stay open until 2 a.m. Guests will receive complimentary party favors.

Mark Your Calendar Just because the New Year has passed, that’s no reason to slow down. Check out some of these charitable dining-related events.

Island City Stage holds its gala in the penthouse of the Royal Sonesta on Sunrise and AIA on Saturday, Feb. 29 with special guest performer, the woman of 1000 voices, Sirius XM’s Christine Pedi! The evening includes bountiful hors d’oeuvres, decadent desserts, signature drinks, silent and live auctions. It’s sure to be a spectacular evening of entertainment (and eating). Tickets are $160 and $200 for VIP (which includes a meet and greet with Christine Pedi). For information check out islandcitystage.org/4th-annual-signature-cabaret.

The Junior League of Boca Raton will hold Flavors 2020, one of

South Florida’s top culinary events Thursday, Feb. 6 at The Addison. Thirty of South Florida’s restaurants, including The Addison, Harvest Seasonal Grill, Kapow Noodle Bar, Loch Bar, M.E.A.T Eatery & Taproom, Ramen Lab Eatery and Sammy J’s will provide savory tastings. Attendees will enjoy an open bar, along with live music and entertainment performances, raffles and a live auction. General admission tickets are $85 and include admission at 6:30 p.m. and an open bar. VIP admission tickets are $150 and include early admission at 6 p.m., a swag bag, and a designated VIP Lounge area with a private open bar and private restrooms. To purchase tickets, call 561-620-2553 or visit JLBR.org.

Hungry for more?

Visit SFGN.com/FOOD!

Rick Karlin is SFGN’s food editor. Visit SFGN.com/Food to read his previous reviews. Have a culinary tip to share? Email Rick at RickKarlinFL@gmail.com.


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SFGNITES

F O R T H E W EE K O F D e c e m b e r 2 6 , 2 0 1 9 - D e c e m b e r 3 1 , 2 0 1 9 J.W. Arnold

jw@prdconline.com

THU

12/26

Mostly Naughty and a Little Nice

holiday In Britain, the day after Christmas is also a holiday, Boxing Day. (Look it up!) In the U.S., it’s more like Armageddon Day as throngs of shoppers flood the malls and big box stores to return and exchange gifts. Who knows what today will be like in the age of Amazon, but certainly a drink is in order, if you survived. The many bars along Wilton Drive and beyond are happy to help you quench your thirst tonight.

FRI

12/27

comedy “Forbidden Broadway” returns to the Kravis Center in West Palm Beach, tonight through Dec. 31 with a new generation of musical comedians. Enjoy spoofs of the newest Broadway shows, including “Moulin Rouge,” the all-Yiddish “Fiddler on the Roof,” “Hadestown” and this season’s dark “Oklahoma!” revival, along with “Dear Evan Hansen,” “Tootsie,” “Beetlejuice” and more. Tickets start at $39 at Kravis.org.

saturday

12/28

drag

Murray and Peter present “A Drag Queen Christmas: The Naughty Tour,” tonight at 8 p.m. at the Parker Playhouse, 707 N.E. 8th St. in Fort Lauderdale. All your favorite girls have flown in to town with Santa for this unforgettable holiday event. Nina West hosts, with appearances by Latrice Royale, Thorgy Thor, Lady Bunny, Manila Luzon, Shuga Cain and Scarlet Envy. Due to “dynamic pricing,” the remaining tickets are $157.56 each, so you’d better cash in all those gift Christmas cards. Tickets and more information at DragFans.com. Photo Credit: Murray & Peter.

SAT

12/28

SUN

12/29

MON

12/30

TUE

12/31

concert

dance

film

concert

Ring in the new year with classic R&B and soul hits tonight at 6:30 p.m. at the Broward Center in Fort Lauderdale, featuring three legendary groups: New Stylistics (“Betcha By Golly Wow,” “You Make Me Feel Brand New”), Chi-Lites (“Oh Girl,” “Have You Seen Her”) and Harold Melvin’s Blue Notes (“If You Don’t Know Me By Now,” “Don’t Leave Me This Way”). Tickets start at $39.50 at BrowardCenter.org.

Love ballet but suffering from a little “Nutcracker” fatigue? The 55 dancers of the National Ballet of Odessa, Ukraine, are performing to Tchaikovsky’s “other” famous ballet suite, “Swan Lake,” this afternoon at 3 p.m. at the Parker Playhouse, 707 N.E. 8th St. in Fort Lauderdale. And it’s not more Balanchine, either, with choreography after Marius Petipa and Lev Ivanov. Tickets start at $38.69 at ParkerPlayhouse.com.

“Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker” was the blockbuster of the holiday season and “Cats” was, well, a cat-astrophe of epic proportions, but there is one other film worth on Movie Monday: Greta Gerwig’s “Little Women.” It’s not only for girls, gay boys will find it just as entertaining with an A-list cast, including the adorable Timothée Chalamet (“Call Me by Your Name”). Check local listings for theaters and show times.

It’s New Year’s Eve and we can’t think of a more fitting show to get us pumped up for 2020 than “Arrival from Sweden,” the ABBA tribute band performing tonight at 8 p.m. at the Kravis Center in West Palm Beach. Yes, we’re moving forward by turning back the clock for an evening of optimistic, light-hearted hits from the world-famous foursome from Stockholm who defined an era. Tickets start at $29 at Kravis.org.

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PRESENTS

PATRICIA & PHILLIP FROST ART MUSEUM FIU September 14, 2019 — January 5, 2020 C

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SUN, JAN 19 / 6PM MAIN STAGE Prepare for full-frontal illusions, awesome physiques, and laughing until your face hurts. Hunky Australian duo Mike Tyler and Christopher Wayne (motto “good magicians don’t need sleeves, and great magicians don’t need pants”) unveil the boisterous R-rated magic show that has left millions of fans gasping from Las Vegas to London’s West End. Diana Davies, Untitled (Marsha P. Johnson Hands Out Flyers for Support of Gay Students At N.Y.U.), C. 1970, Digital print, 11 x 14 inches, Photo by Diana Davies/© The New York Public Library/Art Resource, NY

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Review: ‘Cat-astrophe’ or Campy Cult Classic? J.W. Arnold

A

ny bona fide theater queen has already made their way to the cineplex for Tom Hooper’s adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s groundbreaking 1981 musical, “Cats.” But for those you who may have been on the fence about forking over $10 for a movie in a theater already crowded with “Star Wars” fans—and despite the generally creepy trailers—here’s a quick roundup of the reviews. This is a generally rare approach from SFGN, but honestly, the critics from the dailies and industry news sites beat me to ALL the best clichés and puns about the story of a community of London felines vying for a trip to the Heavyside Layer, a sort of cat heaven where they will be reborn as a younger, hotter cat. I’m resorting to a dog pun, but tell me, are they being “bitchy”? The Los Angeles Times: “‘Cats’ is the cat-astrophe we can’t stop talking about.” Rolling Stone: “A Broadway musical adaptation straight out of the litter box…this disaster of a movie shouldn’t happen to a dog.” Seattle Times: “This is one weird furball of a story.” The Sun: “One to furget.” Wall Street Journal: “Artistically, it’s a hairball.” Detroit News: “…the biggest disaster of the decade, and possibly thus far in the millennium. It’s ‘Battlefield Earth’ with whiskers.” Creative Loafing: “Pussy galore, and quite the bore.” Variety: “Nine may not be enough lives for some of the stars to live down their involvement in this poorly conceived and exected adaptation…”

It’s true, Hooper locked down top stars for his film: Judi Dench, Ian McKellen, Jennifer Hudson, Idris Elba, Rebel Wilson, James Cordon and Taylor Swift. I’ll just point out that somehow Tom Cruise survived his descent into “Labyrinth” (1986), pointy elf ears and all. Then there’s the odd CGI effects: The cats have digital fur, ears and tails, but human mouths and teeth, and five-fingered hands. Last time I checked, female cats also had multiple “boobs,” for lack of a better term. Nobody told Taylor Swift, whose mammaries are actually accentuated by the digital editing. Accident? I wonder. And, I’m not even going to weigh in on the dancing mice and cockroaches with childrens’ faces superimposed or what eventually happens to them. There’s an ick factor at work that simply cannot be overlooked. Louis Bayard of the New York Times resorted to creating a “Cats” drinking game: “A sip of a Black Cat vodka cocktail every time one kitty sweetly nuzzles another.” Forget the rules and just start drinking (or perhaps try stronger mind-altering substances). It’s also okay to nuzzle any nearby creature in the room. That all said, “Cats” may enjoy another life as a campy cult favorite. It’s happened before: “Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory” (1971), “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” (1975) and “Showgirls” (1995). History (and cable television) will be the ultimate arbiter. The film didn’t fare well at the box office on opening weekend, but if nothing else, it will always offer an excuse to shake up a cocktail (see above).

“Cats” is currently in nationwide release. Check local listings for theaters and show times.

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NEWSLETTER

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