#Ordinary girl by Shalaka Bharade

ORDINARY

GIRL

A MAGAZINE OF ISSUES 1

ISCLAIMER

No sexism, no stereotyping, no bigotism, or any sort of hate on anyone or prejudice allowed. Constructive criticism is a go. And of course, no part of this book is to be reproduced by any means, translated, or transmitted and all that jazz. Just donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t steal it without permission.

01 GREETINGS!

THIS

A POSITIV NOTE

ISSUE

INTRICACIES OF MASCULANITY!

17 ME, MYSELF AND I! 4

TRUMP I TRUMPE

INTROCUTION!

A HAPPY VIDEO!

IS ED!

NOT CANDY, BUT A GIRL!

A COMICAL LIE!

THE WOES OF BLACK WIDOW!

21 THE ROLE YOU PLAY!

BOLD IS NOT THE ONLY BEAUTY!

22 THE NEXT ISSUE!

*Especially, the people who put limitations on the wonder that is a female. The bigots, opressors and the lot of them who might as well not be human.

I N T R O D U C T IO N

This is the journal of an ordinary girl. In here she writes her thoughts on things that fascinate her, inspire her and interest her. You would find bits and pieces from all parts of the world here, some sad, some happy, some deep, some shallow, some harsh and some mellow. But most importantly in this journal, lies what really interests a girl. Not just what the society instructs for her to do but what she genuinely believes and admires. Today she decides to show you this, since she is baffled by the assumptions and limitations you put on her and her fellow gender-mates. The media and the society want to lump women under one label of commodification. The magazines targeted at women are perpetuating gender stereotypes and seem to be serving more for the interests of men rather than females. Well, there are magazines that are changing their strategy, not going to deny that. However, it is about time, we girls get to read a women’s magazine which caters to our thoughts and desires. Hopefully, this little journal will be a mini guide to understand and interpret a little piece of what women are about. There is also some interviews with a few other people to broaden the horizons. Also, since the world is bent on being cruel to other species of the human race, the writer has written little messages which could help you get through this bitterness. As for the writer, she hopes this book will be at least a little insightful of female interests. Throughout the book, you won’t know her name, you won’t know how she looks, or what her body type is – because we are not here to label different body types. This book does not exist for the society to fit another girl into some category, give her a label and limit her capabilities and interests. It exists so you could understand all the random magical things encompassed in a single person. 22

NOTE TO SELF Dear women, You are as deep as the ocean, as long as the biggest constellation. Your mind is home to a thousand galaxies, and you are an important part of the future, present and the history. You write your own story, dance to the beat of your own drums. Do not let them convince you of anything else. If they try to lock you down, break the chains. Show them you are not a harp to be played with, Show them, how you only sing to your own songs.

NOT CANDY, BUT A GIRL

You can’t pick a girl, like you do candy in a store. She is not a sweet to choose, And her clothes, not a chocolate wrapper to unwrap. You can’t dictate her packaging, it’s not your choice. She does not belong to you, And there is nothing she owes to you.

THE INTRICACIES OF MISOGYNY Well, a few of them. Little old me does not have enough pages to write it all down now, do I?

tarting with the most obvious ones such as, sexual objectification of women. Oh wait, we were supposed to let that pass right? As certain people kindly point it out, “boys will be boys”. Right? Wrong. If you are one of the people who use that phrase as an excuse to ignore yet another demeaning act of sexism, you need to rectify your definition of the term ‘boy’. Sexual objectification is not excusable. There is a next to zero necessity for an individual from the same or opposite gender to pass any comments on a person or their appearance, unless otherwise requested. There seems to be a falseconsciousness about sexual empowerment of females through gratifying the male sex. Contrary to this belief, it is not necessary for a woman to feel appreciated only by receiving the appreciation from a man, with his personal vested interests. This false-consciousness seems to be deeply rooted in the society’s culture. Two of my male colleagues at work, while conversing with us started talking about how they are such “great dudes” because they don’t judge girls by their makeup, or their clothes. Nor do they expect girls to always be in the kitchen, since they are “independent men who know how to cook”. Oh, also they “would never force their wife to do the household chores or to abandon her dreams” for theirs. Now I agree these are all good characteristics. Only, it is not an act of

commendation. Don’t expect anyone to praise you over how you would not be an accomplice in the oppression of your opposite gender, I highly doubt that would earn anyone the entitlement of a great man’. That is what you might call, being a human. Isn’t that what you claim to be? The misogynist roots have penetrated so deep into our society’s ideologies that even the women sometimes seem to be an accomplice in the alienation of the female gender. The use of sentences such as “I am not like other girls” or “I am one of the boys”, makes you wonder what exactly do you mean by you’re not like other girls? Also, what is so wrong with other girls that you feel the need to segregate yourself from a gender you consider to be ‘inferior’ into the ‘superior’ gender by being “one of the boys”? You know there is something wrong within our brains when they are conditioned to belittle someone we can relate to just to make ourselves feel better. Disparaging other girls based on the amount of makeup they wear, their clothes, and their identity and the people the associate themselves with, makes you just as much of an oppressor as any other. Also, a passing note to the men who would look at girls and boldly state, “I like less makeup”. By all means, please go ahead and apply less makeup. What does that have to do with girls anyway? #Confused. 6

LIE 7

A COMICAL LIE! Shifting perspectives and altering assumptions. You know, what is more comical than comics themselves? Perpetual misogynists assuming girls do not read comics and hence extending these ideologies into their superhero movies and the marketing of the said movies. Why is it naturally presumed, women don’t read comics? I am a girl, and I love reading comics.*gasps* “How in the world?” Yeah, quite a lot of girls like to read comics and watch superhero movies. It should not come as that big of a surprise anymore. It took parents putting up a protest against Disney, for them to start selling Princess Leia dolls, because apparently Star Wars in only for Males. For DC Comics however, to produce a female led superhero film it took an eleven-year-old girl writing a letter to DC Entertainment, for them to realise the impact caused by the lack of female led superhero movies on young girls and the shaping of their ideological framework. Rowan, a young female comic book fan wrote a letter to DC comics, asking why it makes so few female action figures. The letter which was published on a blog run by a freelance journalist named, David Perry, starts with reflective lines such as “I’m upset because there aren’t very many girl superheroes or movies and comics from DC.” Then further mentions

the limited number of two female superhero chibis as compared to ten male ones, which are further provided with stereotypical gender associated colour such as pink and purple. If those insightful sentences by an eleven-year old were not enough of a pointer regarding the existence of a strong female comic fan-base, the kid also explicitly mentions “girls read comics too, and they care.” The question is if DC cares, if Marvel cares and if the society cares. If they realise reading comics and having a powerful female action symbol to look up to can be an inspiring feat for many girls and women, no matter their age. Comics Beats, a website that provides updates and information on comics, revealed that about 46.7 percent of comic fans are females. That is almost half of the fanbase. People who like to believe women just pretend to like comics and nerd culture to impress men, need to educate themselves about these facts. Along with the heaping amounts of Women magazines, that supposedly cater to the interests of women. There should be a shift in perspectives and an increase in the diversity of ‘women’s interests.’

THE WOES OF BLACK WIDOW IGNORANCE IS NOT ALWAYS BLISS, MARVEL!

Fol lowing the release of the movie, Avengers: Age of Ultron, my ecstatic self, walks into ‘Toys “R” Us’ with high expectations of finding all the mini Avengers, simply because I love them and who doesn’t like to collect their favourites right? The Avengers, are meant to be a group of six superheroes in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, MCU, fighting against unprecedented threats to the Earth. So, imagine my happiness when I do find a collection with all the Avengers inside just one box. Then imagine this happiness snapping into disappointment in a single second when I realise there are only five action figures present out of the six Avengers. Now, try to guess which one of the Avengers was missing from the collection? Yup, you got that right! Black widow was conveniently excluded from a collection boldly titled to be The Avengers. Confused, I keep the box back down and decide to look for one which has all six superheroes and surprise surprise, I find none. Not one single collection which while titled to be The Avengers, boasting a collection of all the team members, has a black widow figurine. Looking around the store with sheer bafflement, I realised, standing amongst an aisle full of superheroes, once again Marvel has failed to deliver a representation of the only female superhero in a team full of men with different superhuman powers. This is not the first time Marvel has intentionally excluded a female action figurine while perpetuating the superhero discourse with males and their powers to save the world. A fifteen-year-old me underwent the same routine of excitement and sadness when the first movie, The Avengers was released about five years ago. That is not to say I didn’t try just about every store in my quest to get my hands on a Black Widow figurine, much to my parent’s chagrin. However, today I don’t feel sad as much as disappointed with Disney’s continuous ignorance towards its female comic fans.

Tears were streaming down my face too that day! High five comic lady. Yes, we all feel the pain of this misogyny!

Black widow has played significant supporting roles in Iron Man, Thor, and all three Captain America movies, along with playing one of the lead Avengers in the two Avengers films. Apparently, not only was it not good enough to give Black Widow her own movie up until recently but nor was she considered important enough to be included in the merchandising of a team in which she plays a lead role. Toys and merchandising seem to be an important part of incorporating a role model not only for children but also for adults. Take me for instance! Black Widow is a character that girls and boys no matter their age can relate to and the merchandising further helps them feel a part of something bigger than themselves. However, this turns out to be quite a struggle, when Marvel aims their merchandise solely at boys and their assumed gender associations that Black Widow, a female superhero is nonrelatable to them. On the contrary Marvel, I know quite a few of my guy-friends who in reality relate more to Widow than any of the other superheroes, simply because of her ability to deal with enemies bigger and powerful than herself, with just her skills and munitions and with no otherworldly powers. Holding back on producing black widow and other MCU- female associated merchandise, Marvel might be leaving 11

out a major part of the audience, which to me personally does not make sense either morally or monetarily. To quote Brett Schenker in The Beat “market research says, 46.67% of comic fans are females” which is to say that Marvel’s female audience is just shy of half, of the entire fan-base. Due to which, you would think there would not be a reason for Disney to take away the one female Avenger that girls could relate to. Well, think again. Disney, with their stereotypical ideologies, did legitimately provide us with a reason for Marvel’s sexist marketing. An anonymous writer claiming to be a former Marvel employee stated that “Disney bought Marvel and Lucas film because they wanted to access the male market” since they already seem to have the female fans on the lockdown with Frozen and other Disney princesses’ merchandise. Disney, are you trying to say that comics are an interest limited to males? That girls should not bother with superheroes, and for people’s satisfaction, you included one female lead in a clan of male superheroes, after which it seemed that her character did not matter. Not in the films, and not in their marketing.

Well, it matters to these little girls when you deny them their role model and not so subtly keep hinting at them to stick to Elsa and Anna or Snow White and Cinderella because you think comic books and superheroes are not for girls. Am sorry Disney, unfortunately, you don’t get to decide what and whom we are interested in, nor do you get to force your ideologies on the society.

Disney and their concepts of gender segregation can further be seen in the two Avenger movies with Black Widow, Natasha Romanoff. She was the only female character that saw real character growth in the Marvel cinematic universe. In the first Avengers movie, she reveals during a conversation with Loki, the antagonist in the movie, about the red in her ledger, which uses a succinct dialogue to depict a complex redemption arc, providing her with a significant heroic background. However, that image is ruined when Joss Whedon the director of the sequel, Avengers: Age of Ultron, seemingly reduces the character to conventional gender roles. Black Widow

becomes a nurturing presence for Hulk soothing him back into Bruce Banner, slightly resembling the relationship dynamics of Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. Later in the film, she reveals to have been made sterile as a kid to be moulded into the spy/assassin she grew into. This was reduced to a desire for motherhood, which was lost upon her, resulting in calling herself a monster. Which, really Marvel? After all the “red in her ledger” loss of motherhood is what makes her out to be a monster? Since of course, what else could be more important to a woman other than being a mother? All these representations of feminism in the super-heroism might draw upon a checklist of stereotypical female characteristics hence reducing Black Widow to conventional sex and gender roles. It seems to me Marvel could have used a few more non-sexist narratives while representing the only lead female Avenger. If an influencer as huge as Disney continues to perpetuate such stereotypical ideologies through their movies and their marketing, how do we expect the society to change and grow?

Black Widow is a human girl without any superhuman abilities unlike her other Avenger teammates, but she successfully fights the same enemies with them with the same motivation while juggling her job as a spy when she is not busy saving the Earth. If you think about it, doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t it make her the most heroic of them all? However, seems like she wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t superhero enough to break the glass ceiling at Disney. Yet. We all know she is getting there!

NOW MOVING ON TO OUR NEXT BIG SEXIST, I PRESENT YOU- President Donald Trump.

THE U.S. PRESIDENT FINDS IT HARD TO PRESIDENT Raise your hand if you were surprised. Yeah, me neither.

The president of one of the most influential countries just admitted to underestimating the pressure and work that go into being a president. In an interview with Jeff Mason, from Reuters, Trumps states, and I quote “this is more work than in my previous life. I thought it would be easier.” You don’t say. I am sorry Mr. President, for you might have thought it would be just like in the movies, sit around dictating people. Unfortunately that is where the difference between fiction and reality lies. Your actions have legitimate consequences and your actions actually need to be thought about. You should have probably researched it a bit more. Or just not stood for the presidency. Trump further goes on to talk about how good his life was before he was elected. “I loved my previous life, I had so many things going.” Are you implying you don’t have enough things going to keep you busy as a president, Mr. Trump? Because I am but I guess it was not you? Probably Mike Pence then. Oh! Or were you talking about your leisure activities such as golf and groping unwilling women? I mean, have you not already taken more vacations than the

How much ever you might miss your old life Mr. President, I am pretty sure, most of us miss our life before your presidency much more than you. I, for one miss living without the constant mode of panic afraid to see what the president might have done next. I also miss not waking up in fear of him taking us another step forward into a world war three, while we were asleep. The most baffling aspect of this interview is the surprise expressed by Mr. Trump over how hard his job as a president is, how he might not hesitate as much to give it up and go back to his old life. Whereas, the female candidate, Hillary Clinton who probably trained harder for this job than Trump, and hopefully for far better reasons than Trump did, and actually wanted the presidency could have been a better elective. To quote Clare Foran from The Atlantic, “... that she (Hillary Clinton) reportedly devoted more time to “homework, research, and rehearsals” than her Republican rival had.” Another effort to keep the patriarchy and the bigoted behaviour on the go. Think progress, probably do not think Trump. It is harder for him to be president, it just might be slightly harder to have him as the president. My favourite comparison ever, summed in a single tweet.

BOLD is not the only

BEAUTIFUL You Are!

When was it decided that you need to be strong and bold to be considered a contributing female in the society? The strong modern female is a representational phrase which could have various interpretations. Yes, there are times when you have to be strong. There is no going around it. But that does not mean that women are only supposed to associate with that one adjective. Nor is it necessary that you always have the word ‘strong’ etched into your being. You are allowed to rid yourself from the word if it starts weighing you down. Or even if it doesn’t. Strong is not the only basis of female representation. Neither is bold the only other alternative. A woman can be soft and still represent the modern female through her actions and her beliefs. Having qualities that classify as conventionally ‘feminine’, does not disqualify from the circle of successful females. As a girl, I was always thought by my parents to learn anything about everything as much as I can. So was my brother. Growing up, depending on our skills and hobbies we eventually took up whichever subjects of life interest us the most. One day, my brother was toying around with my clothing designs which I drew during a fashion designing phase I went through. He expressed his opinion on a particular pink dress, saying how he likes it, but it would be better if I changed something, which was what, I honestly cannot remember. However, what I do remember is my aunt sitting right next to me, with a frowny expression, advising my brother to “not be involved in such girly things” and that he should “stay away from dresses, and pink colours, because those are for girls”.

The confused expression etched on my brother’s face would have made me laugh if it This wasn’t for my mother’s reprimanding tone leads directed not at my brother, but my aunt. That i n t o day, when my mum declared that colour has no alienating gender and that my aunt should not discourage the feminine kids in doing what they like, I was just grateful my qualities and aunt was not my mother. But today, I realise the highly embracing more segregated cultural frameworks of our society based on of a masculine gender associations. Along with enforcing defined gender front. It perpetuates roles on boys and girls, it is the forbidding of these roles an ideology, that, for to flow into each other. It is about straight up misogyny. girls to be successful When I say I play football, there is a sigh of appreciation around the room, but if my brother was to declare his or achieve their goals, interest in cooking, there is a cacophony of “ew, so they need to inherit girly”. This discrimination of praising anything conventional masculine traits conventionally related to the male gender such as being bold, discarding but disregarding the female gender pink, and not shedding a single associations significantly devalues tear. It also consistently sends out a message that people who think, dress femininity. and act in a feminine manner cannot be valued for anything. It like saying, you can play football but you can’t do that with sparkly hair clips and lipstick. Everyone knows lipstick makes you incompetent. So what if I would rather wear a sparkly pink dress, and chair a meeting carrying a pastel unicorn notepad. My opinions and my ideas about the business will still be as astounding as they would with a sleek black dress with no ruffles or lace. Women don’t have tone down this ‘feminine’ traits to be taken seriously at their jobs. There is nothing wrong with the colour pink until we push such gender expectation of both girls and boys. This patriarchy affects males too, probably not with the same intensity, but the fact of the matter is, it affects our entire society. Why can’t feminine things be just another regular set of traits? This not to say everything has to be androgynous but that the differentiation between the two traditional sets of characteristics needs to stop and bleed into normalcy as equal. Femininity is not a means of oppression. May it be a male or a female, you are allowed to show or portray adjectives and characteristics regardless of their gender associations. Doing so does not take away your right to be heard or make you a target to be ridiculed. 18

MEN WHO? MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY 19

Making yourself happy does not mean, go on diets and kill your thighs and arms trying to look like a supermodel. Magazines might be telling you to try about a thousand diet plans to make yourself feel better along with tips on “How to wake up hotter!” – No, you don’t have to. There is no need to wake up hotter than you already are. I mean, if you like living on shakes and going on diets if you genuinely enjoy it then, by all means, go ahead. But don’t do it just because cosmopolitan says it will help you get Gigi Hadid’s abs. She has probably never heard of these diets before. Some women’s magazines could use a reality check. There is only so much fiction and unreal beauty you can bestow upon women. A magazine cover page, featuring a remarkably beautiful celebrity telling girls to embrace their body. Yeah right. I am not half as close to what she is. So no, am not going to able to embrace my body until it looks similar – if not the same – as the celebrity. Reinforcing the same normative body type on all the different girls doesn’t make sense. Not cool. For once, why can’t magazines take a peek into reality and stop selling fictitious success stories of the already successful Jennifer Lopez and instead tell stories about an ordinary girl finally landing her dream job at a veterinary hospital? Key word being, ordinary. Someone relatable. Real. Articles that don’t discuss men and their demands. Instead of advising women on ways to make ‘him’ happy, why not advise them on the means to make yourself happy. You don’t have to wear a skin tight dress with no breathing room, only

to impress some guy. Are you comfortable in sweatpants? Go ahead, wear it. If loose t-shirts and comfortable track pants are what makes you happy, then that’s what you need to wear. Nobody cares what ‘he’ thinks. Don’t just publish articles about women being ‘bold and beautiful’ physically but also mentally. Women magazines don’t need to shy away from discussing global issues in their articles. Women can have seriously robust and useful opinions regarding the current presidential campaign, or a particular business or economy takeover. Why aren’t we talking about gadgets? Women would love to know about the new Apple watch or the new FJ cruiser too. Where does it say only men deserve that pleasure? Playing games isn’t just a forte for men. According to the reports, 52% of gamers are women, so why aren’t women magazines bombarding their audience with the new video games along with the new Prada bags. I get it, it hurts the male ego when women beat their high scores, but no men read women’s magazines anyway! So we can all discuss all the cool tricks and secrets to victory in the games without harming any fragile egos. Winwin! It’s about time we change the stereotypical image of women in magazines. The real women want to move on from the same old stories to new ones. To stories which are real, relatable and represent a strong and empowering image of the today’s womanhood. People need to know women for more than just their physical appearance. Magazines play a major role in the media in representing 20

THE ROLE YOU PLAY Changes the path that you take. I know, so deep.

As Shakespeare has kindly provided us with the best metaphor for life, there is, “all the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players”, though, he has decided there are seven fundamental ages of life, your role on that stage is yours to decide. All of us have roles to play but those roles do not have to be bound by societal restrictions. The patriarchy in our culture seems to have allocated specific characteristics to particular people. For instance, it demands any individual identifying as a male to be the hero or the knight in shining armour to the damsel of the individual who identifies as a female. Now, as a man, why would you want to waste your time, saving women who are more than capable of helping themselves? Women who can play the role of either a princess or a knight or neither and still be able to save themselves. I am sure you, yourself have quite a few other things to do than to succumb to the societal expectations. Also, there is nothing wrong with being a man and asking for the help of a woman. Helping each other as humans is what leads to evolution. We are made to co-exist in this world together. Play a role you want to play, not the one the society compels you to enact. Humanity also needs to get its act together. It seems as though it is on strike and has completely forgotten to play its character in this world. I don’t blame it. Looking around, the way this ‘stage’ has become a platform for oppressors and bigots, I would want to go on a strike too. Although the best part about a play is, it always has unexpected twists. We can always change our themes and enact a better world. Oh! And the most important part of your character? Just be thyself! But if you’re a bad person, then please don’t. Abort Mission!

More Issues In The Upcoming Issue. Stay Tunned!

P.S. Beyoncé did sing, “Who run the world? Girls!” Well, let’s not disappoint the Queen Bee.

UNTIL NEXT TIME! BE GOOD.