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THE GUIDE FOR THE DENSE GUY
an FA170.2 assignment Afable, Carlos | Garcia, Shanice Lanuza, Andi | Sta. Maria, Reese
Subject: Pure carrier of the x-chromosome. Present within 50-meter radius... Every. Single. School day.
Sometimes, a girl likes someone so much that she does crazy things just to get noticed. You still don’t notice, because you’re such a dense bastard. You ignored a girl, and you didn’t know it. Here’s the guide for you, so you don’t screw up next time, you jerk.
INTRO DUCTION
IT’S NOT THAT YOU LOOK LIKE THE GOOGLE LOGO THAT SHE ASKS YOU SO MUCH. SHE JUST WANTS TO TALK. The next time she asks you a question, watch her how she steps closer to you. The way she looks at you so intently when you speak and how she replies with such enthusiasm will also say a lot about the real reason why she keeps on taking time to talk to you. And it’s not because you’re the smartest guy in the class.
SHE GIVES YOU SCHOOLRELATED GIFTS AND EVEN PAPER NOT BECAUSE SHE THINKS YOU’RE A PARASITE BUT BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO SEE YOU USE THEM.
While she loves the way you look at her whenever you are in need (of paper), nothing beats that feeling when you see your humble gift being appreciated by the one you like. (BE GRATEFUL, YOU!) She didn’t give you that cute orange pen to be chewed during your boring class but to be remembered whenever you use it.
SHE WILL ALWAYS RECITE DURING YOUR COMMON CLASSES TOGETHER JUST SO YOU CAN NOTICE HER. One last glance before her hand flies up. You can feel her heart beat like a fast drum, and you’re sure it is not just the Blue Babble Batallion at SEC Field. She knows your eyes are on her. If you were wondering, that was her heart beating and as you look up and wait for what she says. You see that smirk? Yesireebob, no pressure, that’s all your doing.
She looks, you look, she looks away. The process goes on and on. No, this is not a staring contest, and if you don’t spark up the conversation now, you’d forever wonder what she was about to say.
EYE CONTACT THAT BASICALLY INDICATES AN INCOMING CONVERSATION BUT NOTHING HAPPENS. THIS HAPPENS AT LEAST FIVE TIMES WITHIN THE HOUR.
NO MATTER WHAT THE EVENT, SHE ALWAYS COMES DRESSED UP. THAT’S BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO LOOK GREAT FOR YOU. You’re wondering why this chick is dressed up all the time. She must be some loony fashion nut, you think, because who else would come to borrow your textbook dressed in a nightgown? And then she’d tell you she’s off to some big-time show, but you’d just see her go back to the dorm just around the corner. Crazy, no? Why else would you think she’d being doing that? Think about it again. She could be dressing up for you – you lucky bastard! Look at how she’s dressed up in your next class together, and sneak up on her when she least expects you. Is she in trashy house clothes? If there’s a difference, something’s probably up with her!