Magazine 9 5 13 by Living an Ageless and Beautiful Life

SEPTEMBER 2013

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PUBLISHER Reinvention Enterprises.

CORPORATE OFFICE 3580 Rt 148 Marion, Illinois 62959

CEO • EDITOR IN CHIEF Sharon Ball

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Alexandra Daley

ADMINISTRATIVE DIRECTOR Sharon Ball

ADVERTISING & Submissions sharon@reinventingyourselftoday.com

LIVING AN AGELESS AND BEAUTIFUL LIFE!

Magazine

Vol . 1 • I s s u e 1 Copyright

SEPTEMBER 2013

September 2013

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IN THIS

ISSUE

IMPROVE YOUR HEALTH AND ENERGY

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Conscious Living for Vibrant Health........................................ Jisele Tuuri The Look Good Feel Good Formula....................................... Kimberly Coots Burnout: Relief in 6 Easy Steps................................................... Colleen Humphries Your Body is Talking, Are You Listening?................................. Ingrid Sherman

Muffin Top on a Gluten Free Diet?....................................................... Lexis Johnson

Lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Transitions

Divorced? Have a Blast..................................................... Jeannine Lee

Embracing Peace at Mid-Life................................................... Blaze Lazarony

Spiritual Growth

15 Finding True Beauty.................................................................... Cheryl Yancey 17 Achieving Spiritual Growth Through the 12 Disciplines..........................Sharon Ball Empowerment

Six Steps to Enhance your Personal Resilience................................ Mark Eyre

Where Did You Go?....................................................... Rabbi Rachel Bat-Or Empowering Yourself.............................................................................. Sharon Ball

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Life Management Skills

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Cohesion and Flow: Succeed in the Art of Balancing.................... Heidi Johnson

Overload Got You Trapped?...................................................... Paula Eder

Anyone can get Organized with the right SKILLS!..........................Paris Love

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Conscious living is about stepping up to the plate, (pun intended). It is about consciously choosing the foods you eat, the thoughts you think, the activities you participate in and the products you use. This is all done from a state of awareness and clear intent. Stress, tension, feelings of overwhelm and frustration are all signs of the body and mind being out of balance. Too often in today’s world a lot of second hand thoughts, media recommendations on the products you should consume and hand to mouth motions while consuming fast foods are considered the “norm”. Well, from here forward I have a suggestion for you. Your mission if you should choose to accept it. (For all of you Mission Impossible fans out there), is to choose to live your life more consciously by choosing healthier and more “body friendly” options.

C ONSCIOUS LIVING FOR VIBRANT HEALTH

By: Jisele Tuuri

“I hope you do choose to accept this mission because you are SO worth it!” A good way to start is by checking in with your body and really being aware of how you feel. This is part of self love and self nurturing because only you can be your own best friend. When stepping into your routine feel if your choices either nurture you or deplete you. When choosing foods, bypass the temptation of fast foods and choose foods that are vibrant in color and are bursting with flavor and nutrition. This naturally eliminates processed, packaged and most cooked foods. Read the ingredients in packaged foods and you will most likely find dyes, fillers, high sugars as in high fructose corn syrup, Aspartame which causes inflammation in the body, GMO’s (Genetically Modified), etc. Obviously these are all far from being “body friendly”. Aspartame alone which is also known as NutraSweet creates inflammation in the body and can be found in so many “sugar free” drinks and foods. The safest bet and most conscious choice are foods from the mother earth which are fresh fruits, vegetables, nuts and seeds. Of course the fresher your produce is the better. If you choose to consume meat be conscious of where your meat is coming from, how it was raised and how the animal was treated. Avoid supporting animal abuse by knowing your source and choosing humane sources. Conscious consumerism isn’t only about what you eat but also what you put on your body as well as cleaning supplies you use.

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What are you using to clean your environment, wash your hair and body with or clean your clothes with? Is it body friendly and environmentally safe? Be sure and read the labels of the product you are considering and choose products with natural ingredients. What conversations do your participate in? What thoughts do you entertain? And who do you spend most of your time with? Choose all of the above wisely for there are toxic thoughts, information (mostly media) and people that only serve to drain you. As for negative people, bless them where they are at in their journey and make a conscious decision to remove yourself from their presence. If it is a family member limit your availability and let them know you are only allowing inspirational words and actions in your life. If you feel that this may create conflict than simply say that you choose to no longer participate in the conversation and walk away. Living a conscious life is absolutely more healthful. Remember to be gentle with yourself in the process and take the time to appreciate yourself for all the wonderful things you are doing in your life! This of course radiates outwardly to your friends, loved ones and the world. Happy journeys! Jisele Tuuri

Jisele Tuuri is the CEO & Founder of Raw Foods Alliance. Her mission is to heal the world one person at a time through foods that nurture the cells of the body. This allows the body to heal and re-balance itself naturally. Her site http://www.rawfoodsalliance.com is a one stop site where people can learn from incredible experts about attaining more vibrant health, energy and youthfulness. The raw food lifestyle is one of many awesome options to feeling phenomenal! Jisele is offering a free 30 minute coaching session to assist you in your journey to a more vibrant and energetic life. It is your turn to feel fabulous in your body and in your world. For your FREE coaching session go to: http://www.rawfoodsalliance.com/psa-coaching-session

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od o G l e e F d o o G k o A L The Lo U ORM

y Coots By : Kimberl

The following article is an excerpt from my complimentary Personal Guide and Workbook, The Look Good, Feel Good Formula. (I’ll give you info at the end of the article on how you can download the whole ebook for free). Not so long ago, I found myself in a severe state of anxiety and depression. I wasn’t happy with my job, my marriage, or my body. I woke up each morning crying and not wanting to face the day. I literally wanted to get in my car and drive away from my life. I tried to comfort myself with food but that didn’t work. I resorted to anti-anxiety and anti-depressant medications to try and cope with my state of mind. I thought it would magically make me feel better, but it just made me feel like a zombie. I remember saying to myself: “I

just want to look and feel good about myself again!”

I realized that I had a choice to make about what I was going to do next. I could continue trying to avoid dealing with my lack of fulfillment in life, or I could face it, transform it and then help others who are experiencing the pain of being unfulfilled and uncertain about how to get their life and body in shape! I chose the “I’m –going-to-face-it” option, and utilizing the mindset tools I’d cultivated in my life and training, as well as embracing my spiritual roots, I transformed my life. Through learning how to love and care for myself, I learned how to look and feel good the healthy way. Often our bodies bear the reflection of our mental and emotional state. If your mental and emotional state is self-limiting and self-sabotaging, your body may not be as healthy or fit as it can be. At that time, my body was “skinny-fat”, I was prone to sickness, had little energy and used food and alcohol to manipulate my energy. I began utilizing the Look Good, Feel Good Formula, and through healing my “inside” (thoughts, beliefs, and repressed emotions), my “outer” (body) was transformed. I want to point out that you should not base your ideal body image on my image or anyone else’s. If you try to be someone else, you’ll only enforce a belief that you are not good enough as you are. Strive to be your best self, not someone else’s. Before I share with you the Look Good, Feel Good Formula, please contemplate the following questions and answer them. Be honest…no one else needs to see your answers. This exercise is designed to help you create a healthy foundation for your own transformational journey. Exercise: Body Image In a quiet space where you won’t be disturbed, take a few minutes to close your eyes and visualize your ideal body image (not someone else’s). Rather than judging your body or concentrating on what you think is wrong with your body, ask yourself: “What would my body look like if I really took care of my self and ate healthy foods, exercised consistently, had quality sleep, took the time to prepare my body (clothing, hair, makeup, etc.) and felt loving toward my self?”

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Would you lose weight, gain weight, be more or less muscular? Would you change your hair… your clothing style? What about your attitude…would you be more confident, adventurous? What qualities does your ideal image embody? It’s not just about how your body looks, but also how you feel and what kind of energy you embody. Ponder these questions and then write about your visualization in your journal. The Look Good, Feel Good Formula This is the formula I used to transform my life, and I teach to my coaching and fitness clients to transform theirs. The formula consists of three core elements (mind, body, spirit), aligned with one golden agreement: The Golden Agreement is a personal agreement with your self and it is this: “I act from self-love in my thoughts, words, feelings and actions. Self-love is the foundation for all my choices.”

The 3 Core Elements: 1. Mind

Aligning mind, body, spirit + living by the golden agreement = looking and feeling good!

(align your mind to achieve your desires)

3. Spirit

(connect with your divine essence & intuition)

2. Body

(create and care for a fit body)

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Kimberly Coots is a certified life coach, fitness trainer, ordained minister and spiritual counselor. She’s a best-selling author, and inspirational speaker; and she also holds certifications in massage therapy, holistic healing, alternative psychology and is currently studying shamanism. Kimberly has studied with Dr. Eric Pearlman, James Twyman, Nicki Scully, and more. She offers mind, body and spirit services through her businesses including: The Sacred Within: www.TheSacredWithin.me Divine Worth: www.DivineWorth.com

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O F N R IE

BU EL R

In SIX

Easy

Steps

: By

ri h p

u H n

ll o C

urnout! What is it? I like to call it “Stress on Steroids.” That’s what it felt like to me when I was experiencing it. Burnout is a state of mental, emotional and physical exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress.

Some of the other painful effects of burnout include: overwhelm; loss of motivation; neglecting your own needs; blunted emotions; disengagement and compassion fatigue to name a few. Compassion fatigue is when you do not have any more to give, but you keep giving any way. Burnout is also a negative mindset. When you keep thinking the same kinds of negative, burned out thoughts over and over, you attract the same kinds of thoughts. It’s how the brain works. Neural pathways are created with repetitive thoughts. So, you get used to thinking the same thing over and over. You then repeatedly attract the same kinds of circumstances. It becomes a vicious cycle. There is also a lot of denial with burnout and who wants to admit being burned out? It’s like there is a stigma associated with it. It’s time for you to take care of your own needs once and for all. Yes, you can! It is a choice not to do so. Here are some questions to think about. First, what are you teaching your children when you are not taking care of yourself and your needs? If you are thinking to yourself, “But you don’t understand,” I will say, that statement only keeps you stuck where you are, which is being a victim. (Been there and done that!) Second, why do you think that you are not worth taking the time for yourself? Third, do you realize that you are teaching other people how to treat you when you are not taking care of yourself and your own needs? A saying on airplanes is, “Put the oxygen mask on yourself first, even if your children are sitting next to you.” Remember you cannot get water from a dry well. You need water to prime the pump. So ladies, it’s time for you to take care of yourself so you can then be available for others. So, what to do?

Start to incorporate laughter in your life on a daily basis. Benefits of laughter include: increased memory and learning; increased immune system; reduced stress; relaxed muscles; increased blood flow in your heart and improved relationships, to name a few. You can google comedy, jokes, funny pictures and/or join a laughter yoga group. Incorporate your family and coworkers in this new daily routine.

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Remove the words, “I can’t…” from your vocabulary. Those words are very weakening to your body. Something I hear a lot is, “I can’t take time for myself. I have too many other things to do.” Know this. It is always a choice to not to do something for yourself.

Ask for help. Yes you can!!! Let go of the need to be Superwoman! You have a 50/50 chance of getting a yes. Sometimes you may have to wait for the help and that’s OK. Take the help when you can get it. No (wo)man is an island.

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Do something for your psyche: meditate; do yoga and/or chi gong; read inspirational and funny material. Meditation opens up your intuition, decreases anxiety and stress, and helps aid in sleep. Yoga not only helps your body be flexible, it enhances flexibility in your mind/thinking. Chi gong helps boost your immune system. Inspirational reading feeds your brain positive material helping you to form new neural pathways, and opens your mind.

Drink more water. Yes, I wrote that! The slightest amount of dehydration causes fatigue and increases headaches. Water clears toxins from your body, carries. nutrients in the blood, and decreases hunger. It will also make you go to the bathroom more often therefore giving you time to take a necessary little break

Be easy on yourself. Appreciate yourself. Commit to doing something for you â&#x20AC;&#x201C; get a massage, manicure, do some silly shopping or whatever you want that is nice for you. Commit to doing it by pulling out your calendar (now) and scheduling something for you at least once a month, if not twice a month. Yes, you can!

These are just some of the steps to get out of burnout. The time is NOW to get off of Someday Island. No more excuses to not take care of you. You are worth it and you deserve. Remember, if you do not think you are worth it, no one else will either.

Colleen Humphries is a RN, Reiki Master and Certified Law of Attraction Life Coach with over 30 years of nursing experience. After working through her own burnout, she now guides nurses and other professional women out of the burnout that is affecting their lives mentally, emotionally, and physically. She works with them to feel alive again, to take back control of their lives (personally and professionally), return to balance, and regain what is really important to them: time for themselves and their families. Colleen is available for complementary strategy sessions to see if she can guide you out of burnout and/or into a more successful mindset. She can be reached at colleen@colleenhumphries.com. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ Free eBook: http://colleenhumphries.com/ebook-the-abcs-of-deliberately-creating-your-life/ This is a basic book on the Law of Attraction and how it works so you can be a deliberate creator in your life. Look for the parent book coming soon called, No longer Creating by Default: The ABCs of Deliberately Creating Your Life. Vol I, The As. Your Rx for Burnout Relief: http://colleenhumphries.com/your-rx-for-relief-from-burnout/ Fun and easy ways to work your way out of burnout.

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Your Body Is Talking, Are You LISTENING?

ave you ever wondered why you get headaches, backaches, crave chocolate, or have nightmares? Well, maybe your body is telling you it needs something.

Some of the ways your body communicates is through dreams, meditation, intuition, emotions, food cravings, aches and pains. The problem is that we were never taught what these messages mean. Also, most women are so busy that many times they ignore these quiet voices. The other day I got an email that said every year 2 million people suffer from adverse reactions to prescription drugs and of those 2 million, 125,000 people die. Isn`t it time to start listening to your body, before your health gets so bad you need medication and then you have to suffer with the side effects? My friend was told that her blood pressure was too high. The doctor told her to measure it for two weeks; if it was still high, she would recommend medication. Why didn`t her doctor suggest she lose weight, stop eating salty foods, take garlic, or try a natural supplement? I had a great experience a few weeks ago. I needed to decide if I wanted to make a huge commitment to sign up for a year of coaching. The thought of not doing it made me feel shut down and older. As soon as I decided to do it, I felt great. I felt much lighter, open, and younger. I felt like my whole body had expanded. My emotional compass was telling me I had made the right decision. Dreams are another way our higher self communicates with us. Recently my son had a nightmare in which people were trying to kill him. But I think it was his higher self telling him that he needed to make changes in his life, such as killing his negative thoughts and behaviors. Meditation can also help you access a deeper level of consciousness.

By: Ingrid Sherman

Ask yourself what is the best use of your time or what you can do to have less stress. What is the most important thing you need to do today? Food cravings may be telling you that you are allergic to those foods. Choose with a food you crave and don`t eat it for a week. At the end of the week, eat a lot of that food and see how you feel. If you don`t feel good, you should avoid that food. Food cravings can also be very helpful. Sugar cravings can mean you need B vitamins or protein.

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Chocolate can mean your body needs calcium or magnesium. Salty foods may indicate minerals are needed. Low energy maybe a sign that you have candida, hypoglycemia, or constipation. Aches and pains are great indicators that something needs to be changed. Headaches can mean you are dehydrated, you have food allergies, you have too much stress, or you are allergic to household cleaning products. Listen to your body if you get a headache or start coughing when using certain cleaning products. Many cleaning products contain carcinogens and by switching to green cleaners you are helping your body, home and your environment to be healthier.

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And now for some good news. If all this information sounds a little overwhelming, I have a simple solution and it is my gift to you. It is a questionnaire that was put together by a nutritionist and it lists most of the symptoms people have and what they did to feel better. It will tell you what foods your body needs, what you should avoid, and the nutritional supplements that you may be lacking. So, if you want to know why you feel the way you do, just send an email to me at: ingridsherman@gmail.com, and I will send you a copy of this questionnaire. By Ingrid Sherman

BIOGRAPHY

Ingrid has a BA in biology and did biochemical medical research for 7 years. She has been helping people chose the nutritional supplements that their bodies need for the last 35 years. Recently she had evidence on the effectiveness of the supplements she takes when she had a bone density test done and the doctor told her that she has the bones of a 24 year-old woman.

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Your Body Is Talking, Are You LISTENING?

A few years ago I had a pain in my heel. I told my chiropractor and he recommended glucosamine. I started taking it and in a few days the pain went away. So letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s look at what you can do to be a better listener to those messages from your body. Do the foods you eat affect your energy, wellbeing, or mood? Get rid of toxins from your diet such as sugar, white flour, processed foods and canned foods. Remove all the toxic cleaners from your home and notice how you feel. Write down your dreams and see what messages you get.

N I F f u M

TOP

By: Lexis John son

A N O

GLUTEN

E E R f -

dIET

hat’s the one food you probably eat every day that you don’t even know you’re eating, that causes Muffin Top? Just FYI there is one ‘food’ that’s in almost all processed foods; is often used as a replacement in gluten-free foods; is erroneously revered by many health-food companies & is even used to make the bottles we drink from & it causes Muffin Top!!! Yikes!! You’re pretty savvy- wanna guess what it is?

You give up, eh... well... There are more than 1000 different names put on food labels for a food that causes changes in the estrogen balance in both men and women and even children! Its corn. Corn is used as a replacement in most gluten-free processed foods. Its used as high-fructose corn syrup in sweetened drinks, energy drinks included. And... get this: pre-packaged diet foods have this ingredient which is the most highly-addictive food substance in the world in my opinion. The diet food industry puts it in our foods (as do non-diet food companies) & get us addicted to the foods because if they worked & we lost the weight we’d stop eating them, then the companies would go out of business! And because there are over a 1000 different names for corn, we don’t recognize it; it slips through the cracks of our diet-discernment... & we keep eating it. We think gluten is the problem (because that’s a popular belief these days, I have a different opinion but that’s for another discussion), so we look for gluten-free foods and our symptoms change, but we never get completely better... We keep eating the gluten-free food (or whatever our thing is) thinking that it made some difference, but we’re expecting it to completely make us feel better, or lose weight or what-have-you, when we’ve just replaced the problem. Gluten is addictive, but corn takes the cake, pardon the pun! And because corn is so cheap, its in everything! The receptors in the brain that work with dopamine and serotonin, are also affected by the foods & chemicals in our environment. They are kinda shaped liked pacman... with the mouth being the keyhole... & the key is the same shape as the thing we are addicted to.

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opamine & serotonin are the relaxing & happy hormones (or neurotransmitters, depending on how they are used in the body.) They are the same receptors that are controlled by heroin & cocaine, being extreme downers & uppers! That’s why doctors prescribe tranquilizers when a woman comes to her doctor to complain & most doctors don’t understand nutrition. Many nutritionists don’t understand this. (I had a daughter who was hooked on both cocaine & heroine, who I was able to get off these drugs through nutritional remedies, although I don’t know if I could help everyone else, but it taught me about the brain receptors in my research to help her.) Corn is just as addictive as cocaine!!! And that, my friend, is one reason why we have such a hard time getting rid of our fat. Our bodies store toxins in fat cells, as well as in repaired cells of injured tissues. When we lose weight we release toxins & feel sick so we stop trying to lose weight; it creates a vicious cycle. We punish ourselves trying to use will power to avoid the offending food, only to give up too soon & yo-yo diet. We train our brains to know how much we’ll suffer through withdrawal before we give up & succumb to what we’re addicted to. When we try to muscle through with just conviction as our army we’re doing it the hard way. There are special foods, herbs & supplements that can help with the withdrawal, with the releasing of the toxins being released & will help us give up corn... or whatever food you’re addicted to. Corn is just one of the ‘secret’ hidden food addictions we don’t even know we have. There are ways to know what’s causing your body to gain belly fat & and how to release toxins safely, stresslessly and without creating a vicious cycle of causing the adrenal glands to go into overdrive, producing more cortisol which creates more belly fat among other things. By: Lexis Johnson, PhD

For more free information visit my websites and see what helps your Muffin Top! www.WinAtLosingDiets.com free ebook 7 Fairy Tales of Weight Loss www.thePrettyWomanWebsite.com Free teleseminar of Muffin Top Diet sabotages! www.MuffinTopDiet.com

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DIVORCED?

HAVE A BLAST!

BY:JEANNINE LEE

______________________________________________ Nearly everyone has experienced divorce or a serious breakup. Relationships are hard, mostly through trial and error we make our way through—or not. Sometimes we see the end coming and welcome it. Other times we are left reeling. “Now what do I do?” If we’re smart, we will spend some self-reflection time before getting into another relationship. What does that mean? It means working through the sadness, venting the anger and rebuilding our sense of worth. It means learning how we contributed to the demise of the relationship so we can do things differently next time. It means discovering ourselves anew. And that last one can be outrageously fun!

The Renaissance Period There is a special period of time post-divorce I’ve come to call The Renaissance Period. This is when you give yourself over-the-top permission to live life at its fullest, to have a blast as a single, reclaiming all that you lost or gave up while you focused on someone else. The Renaissance Period opens a door to opportunities once only dreamt. Stepping through the door you become giddy at the possibilities. Quivering with excitement you take in the vastness of it. “What shall I try first?” It’s a candy store of epic proportions. The candy is your life dreams. This door opens after your divorce is final, when the emotions are mostly resolved, and the new possibilities are coming into view. The door can’t open before that because your creative energy is still tied up in divorce details. But when it opens, it opens broadly. It’s even a little scary at first. I hope that when it opens for you, you proudly step through it. When you allow yourself to have your renaissance period you may dream in ways you haven’t since you were a child. When you realize it really is okay to feel good again, and that you get to have a great life, I hope you will set out with gusto to accomplish things you once thought lost to you—hobbies, adventures, expressing hidden talents. Maybe you’ll dance, sing, write poetry, take to running marathons, play an instrument, jump out of an airplane, get your doctorate, wear a kilt, or ride Harley. (I’ve known divorcing people who have done all of those things during their Renaissance Period.) Renaissance people are feisty. They claim who they are without apology. They try out new relational skills, practice assertiveness, and proudly wear their newfound self-worth. They give their creative passion free rein. There’s a new purpose to be had.

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Life’s Journey

As your painful emotions begin to fade, you may find that they are replaced by a voracious hunger —to learn, to understand, to continue the journey of personal growth you’ve begun. Follow that hunger. It will lead you to the Renaissance door where you will meet yourself anew. If you use this period well—you will creatively let go of things that no longer serve, and reach toward what is next, which often lies just beyond your comfort zone. In doing so you find you’ve navigated another turning point toward your most authentic self, and isn’t that what this life journey is really about? So how about giving yourself a break? And while you’re at it, how about giving yourself permission to dive fully and freely into your new life? Which of your heart’s desires are you willing to start tomorrow? ________________________________________________________________________________________ The above article is adapted from a chapter in Jeannine’s new book Beyond Divorce— Stop the pain, rekindle happiness and put purpose back in your life. For a limited time you, as a reader of Living and Ageless and Beautiful Life, can pre-order the book for just $5.00 plus $3.00 shipping and handling. Visit http://www.beyonddivorce.com/book/ and use the promo code: “Beyond” to receive your discount.

BIOGRAPHY Jeannine Lee is a certified Life, Relationship, and Grief Recovery Coach serving the divorce community. She works with singles and couples in all stages of relationship re-design, including successful singleness, conscious divorce, and effective reconciliations. She developed and teaches a 30-hour Beyond Divorce Recovery bootcamp, along with other personal growth seminars. Her book, Beyond Divorce, will be available fall of 2013. Contact her at 303-746-7000 or Email from her website: www.beyonddivorce.com.

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Embracing Peace At

MID LIFE Yesterday you were a bright-eyed twenty something, with high ideals and huge plans for the future. You were ready to do it differently than your parents and their parents before them.

By: Blaze Lazarony

Today you’re celebrating a significant birthday; you are indeed getting another decade older. And it would be lying to keep telling the world you’re twenty-nine…again.

It’s true, not only does your body look different, but also important people have come and gone from your life, and your surroundings have changed too. And yet, you still find yourself laughing and celebrating, you feel like a kid inside! “Time sneaks up on you like a windshield on a bug.” —John Lithgow That windshield is called “mid-life,” a time when most us realize that one day we will die. Yes, die. As in, like a bug! Gone are the days of trying to fill the good daughter shoes, or be the career superwoman, or even be the best cookie-baking soccer mom; now it’s about you and what you really want to be, do, and have before you leave this earth. Dan Jones, PhD, a researcher of adult development and transitions, and director of Counseling and Psychological Services Center at Appalachian State University, Boone, N.C., states, “Women often get validity through relationships,” “whereas Men might gauge their worth by their job performance.”1 (Note: For every rule, there are always exceptions.) If we used Dr. Jones’ statement as a starting point, it would mean that we as women tend to evaluate our self-worth and success in the world, centered around our intimate relationships. Is this you? Do you find yourself evaluating your overall happiness based on the health of your relationships with your partner, children, and friends? This is only natural, because as women, so much of your life may have been filled with ensuring the needs and desires of others first. And then at mid-life, those magical ages between 35 and 50, things change. Finally, it’s your turn; it’s time to stake a claim to care for yourself first.

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For many people, mid-life is an intense time full of personal reflection and serves as a beginning of a spiritual quest to learn how to love themselves in a kind and peace-filled way. It is a rich time to reexamine your life, find new meaning, and begin to ask yourself pivotal questions. Here are two critical ones: 1. 2.

What do I really want? What is stopping me?

These two questions can form the beginning of everything that comes into your life going forward, and I do mean everything. If your life ended tomorrow, wouldn’t you want to know that you had lived it to its fullest potential? A life full of intense passion, a defined purpose, and from a space of realizing your full power, it’s what I call “being brilliant.”

And it all starts now.

Writing Practice: Please take out your favorite journal and pen, then curl up in your favorite writing spot and allow yourself the opportunity ponder the answers to the questions listed above. Write for twenty minutes, when time is up simply put your pen down. Then for the next two days follow the same routine, answering the same questions for only 20 minutes at a time. At the end of the three days, re-read all of your journal entries. Many of my clients report incredible breakthroughs, discoveries, and peaceful insights found on their journal pages after just after a total of one hour of writing. As a Certified Transformational Life and Business Coach, this is the point where I help my clients soar; assisting them in bringing their wants into reality and helping them remove obstacles that have kept them from living a life that they’ve always imagined. I can help you soar too! 1Doheny, K. (2008). Midlife Crisis: Transition or Depression? What do you do when a midlife crisis turns into depression? WebMD. Retrieved from http://www.webmd.com/depression/features/midlife-crisis-opportunity Photo credit: Nazka2002 Are you ready to learn the secrets to busting through your inner resistance and start soaring? And are you eager to create a life that honors the truth of who you are in this moment? Then click here to receive your copy of the free e-book, Follow Your Yellow Brick Road.

BIOGRAPHY Blaze, aka Barbara Lazarony is a Chief Visionary Officer at Blaze A Brilliant Path. She helps Fire-Starters, Visionaries, and Luminaries blaze their brilliant paths and manifest their big visions in both their lives and businesses. Blaze holds certifications as an Advanced Transformational Life & Business Coach and Intuitive Hypnotherapist, and is a sought after Speaker, Workshop Leader, and Author. To find more about Blaze and to illuminate the world with your brilliance, visit: www.BlazeABrilliantPath.com

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finding By: Cheryl Yancey

True Beauty

Besides being a Biblical Life Coach, I am also a costume designer at a small university in Virginia. We have a professional theatre company in the summer and we just opened a production of Shrek the Musical and I designed the costumes. Please understand that I am not trying to say that Shrek is a particularly spiritual production. However, the message is something we can all appreciate.

Our well-meaning relatives can make us feel less than wonderful about our appearances. “You have Uncle Sid’s nose.”

What the production of Shrek emphasizes is to look past the outward trappings of beauty and find the true beauty underneath. That made me realize that one of the biggest problems that we have as women is we all think we fall short of what is considered beautiful. We stress about our appearance; my hair is too curly, or too straight. I am too fat or too skinny. My hips are too wide; my stomach is too big; my bust is too small; my nose isn’t right and so on and so on. Ask the most beautiful model in the world and I’m sure she will point out her physical flaws to you. In 2011 Americans spent $10.4 billion on cosmetic surgery. The media makes us feel that we need to be perfect to attract a mate. Have you ever noticed that it is not uncommon to see TV shows or movies with less than perfect looking men attracting gorgeous women, but you rarely see average or over-weight women attracting gorgeous men?

More than likely, Uncle Sid didn’t have the most attractive nose. We hear our husbands compliment and look at other women when they haven’t noticed a new haircut or outfit on us in 20 years.

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But, how does God see us? Genesis 1:27 (NLT)27 So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Psalm 139:14 (NLT)14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. God made you in His image. He doesn’t make mistakes and He doesn’t make junk. God sees you as His masterpiece. In God you are made perfect. Try saying Psalm 139:14 while looking in the mirror. Remind yourself how wonderfully made you are. “True beauty comes from within”. God doesn’t expect you to have a perfect body and perfect looks. The more you love God and desire to serve Him, the more beautiful you are to Him. 1 Peter 3:3-4 (NLT) 3 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. Proverbs 31:30 (NLT) 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised. 1 Samuel 16:7 (NLT) 7 But the LORD said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” Quit letting the world define your beauty standards. Let your beauty be defined by who you are in Christ. Let your beauty radiate from within.

Cheryl

Yancey

AS, BS, MFA, MBLC

Shrek and Fiona almost missed their chances at love because they couldn’t understand how anyone could love an ugly ogre. They were defining who they were by how others saw them. Don’t define who you are by what others say or think. Remember God sees you as His beautiful creation, and you are!

“There is nothing you can do to make God love you more...and nothing you can do to make God love you less.”

www.agapewaylifecoaching.com

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Achieving Spiritual Growth Through

THE 12 DISCIPLINES

By: Sharon Ball

I haven’t written a book report since I was in grade school but I decided to write one today. I’m reading an assigned book for my Christian Transformational Coaching program called CELEBRATION OF DISCIPLINE, THE PATH TO SPIRITUAL GROWTH by Richard J. Foster. It is explained that we need these disciplines because many of us are living in a condition of “spiritual bankruptcy.” Our current world is filled with superficiality, a doctrine of instant satisfaction, and slavery to ingrained habits. Willpower is useless against sin but the spiritual disciplines open the door to inner transformation and to the voice of God. But we must be careful not to turn these disciplines into “law” which is what the Pharisees in Jesus time did. They made many rules and regulations regarding the disciplines and then made sure they practiced the spiritual disciplines in public so everyone could see how “righteous” they were. The things we HAVE TO do are often called “chores.” We don’t do them out of joy or love but because of duty. When the disciplines are turned into HAVE TOS by religious authorities they then are used to manipulate and control people. Again, think back to the Pharisees of Jesus time. These disciplines are meant to be used freely by choice with joy and love. There are not any rules about how to use the disciplines. We use them in our individual ways because we are individuals and unlike the Pharisees we use them in private. In doing so, these disciplines will open our hearts and our minds and allow us to experience a closeness with Jesus/God that we have never known before. The author of this book, Richard Foster, describes 12 disciplines that he has divided into 3 categories:

• The Inward Disciplines, • The Outward Disciplines, and • The Corporate Disciplines.

To learn more about these spiritual disciplines from his perspective you may wish to get the book from the library or bookstore and read it yourself.

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Without further fanfare, here are the 12 spiritual disciplines:

The Inward Disciplines 1- Christian Meditation

2- Prayer 3- Fasting 4- Study

The Outward Disciplines 5- Simplicity 6- Solitude 7- Submission 8- Service

The Corporate

Disciplines 9- Confession 10- Worship 11- Guidance 12- Celebration How many of these disciplines are you familiar with and how many do you actually incorporate in your daily life? For more information on spiritual growth and empowerment contact sharon@reinventingyourselftoday.com Sharon Ball, Christian Life, Wellness, and Weight Loss coach, is also a geriatric nurse practitioner. She has multiple web sites including : http://www.reinventingyourselftodayblog.com and http://thinnerafter50.com Get free e-books at http://www.reinventingyourselftoday.com to help you set YOUR goals and reinvent YOUR life. Learn to identify your ideal life, clarify your values, and challenge your ideas and core beliefs. Set goals related to business and professional, personal and health as well as spiritual issues and create a plan to bring these goals to a successful conclusion. Life is a process, a journey, and people sometimes need guidance to make the journey of life uniquely their own in addition to making it as happy and satisfying as possible. Reinventing Yourself Today presents programs that teach you exactly how to do this.

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SIX

steps to enhance your

Personal Resilience

By: Mark Eyre

ecord numbers of women are suffering from stress and major challenges – in their home lives, at work, and with their families. With more and more tasks to juggle, and change affecting all aspects of our lives, the need to develop our levels of resilience has never been so important. This is particularly so given the decline in other sources of support in modern life, as families disintegrate, friends move away to find work, and the recession puts more financial and work pressures on women. Let’s start by defining what we mean by resilience. It includes being able to bounce back from setbacks, having the strength to cope with life events, and being determined to see things through. So, how can we build and sustain our levels of resilience? Here are six key tips to help you to build your resilience muscles.

1. S e t C l e a r G o a l s .

Set goals for what you want and need to achieve in your life. Some sense of direction makes it less likely that you’ll be blown off course by a setback. The old saying is true that “if you don’t know where you’re going, you will end up somewhere else.” So work out where you want to go, even if it’s only for part of your life at the moment. Then, when a setback comes along, you can refocus on your goals.

2. B u i l d Yo u r S e lf - Aw a re n e s s .

Getting a better understanding of your own personal strengths and weaknesses will help your resilience. Understanding your weak points will enable you to develop ways to compensate for them. This includes being honest with yourself about when you’re feeling stressed and are bruised by setbacks you’ve had. Again, once you become more aware, you can do something about it. In my experience, non-resilient people are often in denial about the fact, so self-awareness is vital.

3. C u l t i v a t e Yo u r O p t i m i s m .

People who see the glass as half full fare better than those who see it as half empty. Keeping setbacks in perspective is important. One failure doesn’t mean “I’m a failure.” There’s always another day, and believing that day will be better is important. Cultivate a more optimistic mind.

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Appreciating the good things that happen will build up your resilience credit for when you face the bad days, and have to rely on the credit you have built up. Becoming more optimistic will be greatly helped if you spend time with positive optimistic people, rather than those who drag you down and see everything as negative. This leads on nicely to the next point.

4. E s ta b l i s h St r o n g R e l a t i o n s h i p s . Resilient people have good, supportive relationships they can rely on. Relationships that build you up, not ones that drain the life out of you. If there aren’t many positive people in your life, find some. People who listen to you, and offer helpful advice without imposing it on you, are worth their weight in gold. Not being afraid to ask for help is an important part of friendship. As you would help a friend in need, so they will help you if you ask.

5. F o c u s O n W h a t Yo u C a n C h a n g e .

Deal with the situations you can make a difference to, and stop resisting what you cannot change. Resisting things you have no power over wastes your energy, and non-resilient people often waste their energy in this way. The serenity prayer is good advice here;

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference”

6. L e a r n F r o m E v e n t s .

When things go wrong, or get tough for you, focus on how you can learn and grow from the experience. To use Carol Dweck’s terminology, develop a growth mindset, asking yourself the question “how can I learn from this to become better next time?” We can’t change what’s already happened. So learn what needs to be learned, and move on. Leave the rest of what happened in the past, and focus your energy on the present and the future. If you learn to do the above things, you will find that your resilience levels increase. You will take life’s setbacks more in your stride, and recover from them faster.

BIOGRAPHY

Mark is a personal development consultant and writer, passionately committed to enabling people to be the best they can be, and fulfil their own unique brilliance. This includes building great careers, developing our capacity for real leadership in work and life, and enhancing our resilience and ability to influence others ethically. As George Eliot said, ‘it’s never too late to be what you might have been.’ He is UK-based, and on http://www.brilliantfutures.net Sign up for my two-monthly ‘Simply Brilliant’ newsletter, and receive a free workbook ‘Discovering your career path.’ If you face a career crossroads, it’s time to find the work you were born to do. http://www.brilliantfutures.net/blog/discover-your-career-path-nowavailable-free

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One night when I was 10, I crawled into bed and put my head on my pillow. Instead of the white, cotton pillow case I expected to feel, it became instead a magical city. My fingers followed the winding streets; felt the tops of the multi-storied buildings, found the neighborhoods filled with comfortable homes. I waved to the people sitting on their front steps. They smiled and waved back at me. I had so much fun in this city; I pushed myself to stay awake as long as I could.

where By: Rabbi Rachel Bat-Or

DID YOU

***

When we were children, this kind of magical adventure happened all the time. We believed the unbelievable. We had a unique voice that was our own private GPS, guiding us to the next right step in our lives. As we grew up and became adults, we took on life’s responsibilities— work, home, family. It was rare for us to play with the abandon we had as children. Our unique and creative voice became lost over the years. Many of us lost our voice because our employers or family or friends didn’t accept it. Because we gave it away to others. Because it didn’t pay the bills. As time passed, we simply forgot about it.

***

I began to reclaim my own voice just before my 49th birthday, the beginning of my 50th year, when I remembered a verse from the Jewish Bible [Leviticus (Vayikra), Chapter 25, verse 10]. “…and you shall hallow the fiftieth year… It shall be a jubilee for you: each of you shall return to your holding and each of you shall return to your family.” I liked the idea of all property being returned to its original owner every 50 years. I liked the built-in economic equalizer. I wanted to create that kind of balance in the world. And I knew before I could do that, I had to first create it in myself. I decided to reclaim my own voice and the parts of myself I lost through the years. I began by taking a piece of paper and creating images on it of what I wanted in my life. • Loving and meaningful relationships. • Deep Learning. • Writing. • Traveling. • Hiking. • Praying and meditating. • Volunteering

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These were all parts of my life when I was younger and I don’t even know when I let them go. I hung up the picture I made. I Iooked at it every day and it helped me remember what I wanted. I began studying to become a Bat Mitzvah. 1 I wanted that ceremony when I turned 13 but it didn’t happen. Now it could. I learned about the Jewish Bible, holidays, laws, and history. Just after my 50th birthday, I stood before my community, read from the Torah,2 gave my interpretation of our fore mother, Rebecca’s life, and officially took on the mantle of a Jewish adult. During my Jubilee year, along with reclaiming my voice and collecting the lost parts of myself, I received unexpected gifts. I discovered that I enjoy speaking before large groups, leading prayer services, chanting from the Torah. I didn’t know that reclaiming my voice would be my first step in becoming a rabbi. As my 51st year began, my life took on a new direction, one that I never would have imagined a year before. I was filled with excitement and expectation. I have told many people about how my life changed because I reclaimed my voice. How I sold my home, gave away all my furniture and almost everything else I owned, and moved to Jerusalem for two years to prepare for rabbinic school. They tell me how inspiring my journey is. Then they tell me the ways they want to change their own lives. I love hearing about their dreams and I love watching them come true. All of us have parts of ourselves that we’ve given away, a voice that’s been lost over the years. By finding our voice, we also find ourselves. To reclaim your unique voice, create your own list of the parts of your life you want back; the things you loved but stopped doing; the childhood dreams you didn’t pursue; the projects you started and never finished. Look for those lost pieces one at a time. Experience the pleasure of finding each of them. Reclaiming your voice and those lost parts of yourself will give you more joy and confidence than you could ever imagine.

Rabbi Rachel Bat-Or, LMFT, a spiritual leader and therapist for over 30 years, has assisted hundreds of people to release their pain and build a life filled with meaning, satisfaction and success. In The Regal Voice Writing Programs, she continues to help people transform themselves and inspire others through writing and speaking. A published writer herself, she’s written and delivered inspirational messages to audiences as large as a thousand. She created the Seven Steps to Healing® Model and has taught it in over 40 universities and therapeutic settings. She knows that the more people heal themselves, the more they heal those around them.

BIOGRAPHY

Finding your voice and those missing parts of yourself is crucial to your health, your career, and your relationships. With my therapeutic writing programs, I guide you to reclaim the things you’ve lost and help you integrate them into your life. Experience the process of healing yourself and inspiring others with your words and voice. Contact me at rabbirbo@gmail.com or www.rabbirbo. com for a free consultation. 1

Literally translated as ‘daughter of the commandment,’ this ceremony marks the beginning of Jewish adulthood for girls. A boy’s ceremony is called a Bar Mitzvah. 2

The handwritten, Hebrew scroll that contains the first five books of the Jewish Bible.

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I R

“Locus By of Control” :S is a psychology h term that identifies ar our beliefs about the o n amount of control we have Ba over our life. Having an” internal ll locus of control” indicates that an individual believes that events are largely controlled by one’s own actions. But if we feel that what happens to us or how well we succeed depends mostly on external factors such as the economy or the actions of our families, friends, co-workers, etc. we have an “external locus of control”. Having an “external locus of control is like having a victim mentality. The victim and the person with an external locus of control both tend to be passive and wait for things to happen to them. They allow outside influences to make their decisions for them and wait for others to come up with solutions for any problems they make be having.

W O P

M E

G N

They tend to blame something outside themselves for their actions, their feelings and their emotions, as well as for what actually happens in their lives. These people say things like “he made me so mad” or “because of what he did I am so depressed and sad”. Kind of like the husband who states “It’s my wife’s fault that I hit her”. You don’t have to have a life makeover to be confident and powerful, it is just a mindset. You don’t have to change anything at all except for your thinking. Most of us recognize the error in thinking when the husband states ‘it’s my wife’s fault I got angry and hit her.” But we may not recognize the error in saying “He made me sad” or “She made me mad”. The truth is that we are allowing ourselves to feel sad or mad. We are giving up our power to another person when we allow ourselves to be angry or sad because of something someone else did. If something does not go as we would like or as we planned, instead of giving away our power and blaming someone or something outside ourselves we need to TAKE BACK OUR POWER. We need to ask ourselves what we could have done differently to get a different outcome, that way we can make better choices next time a similar situation comes up and those different choices will produce different results. Then we need to forgive ourselves for any mistakes we have made, forgive and forget the mistakes of others, and then move on. One important point I must make, forgiving and forgetting when others make mistakes and/or do us some kind of wrong, is emotionally freeing to us. But that doesn’t mean that we have to put ourselves in a position that leaves us vulnerable for them to repeat whatever they did to us. Being confident and powerful means that we forgive and forget, we don’t spend our time dwelling on and agonizing over the behavior of ourselves and others. But we also maintain healthy boundaries so that we are not a subject to that behavior again. For instance, if your nightly phone call from your sister or your mother ends up as an hour of complaints and negativity that leaves you drained and unhappy, you need to limit the phone call to five minutes when you are planning to leave for some activity. You state up front that you just wanted to say hello and make sure they were alright but you can’t stay on the line to talk because you have to be somewhere in ten minutes. Or you may choose to limit the phone calls to just once weekly. Whatever you need to do to protect yourself from being and feeling abused. Sometimes we give away our power by making excuses or setting up false prerequisites in front of the things we say we want. We say we want to go to college but we have to save up a large sum of money first. We have to work to support ourselves and there is just no way could we find enough time to study because of the hours we have to work. Or we say we will sign up for college as soon as we pay off our car or move closer to the college of our choice. Then we trade in our car for a newer

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model that tacks on two more years of payments. What would happen if we traded in our car for an older car that cost the same as what our current car was worth? And we signed up for an online class that we could work on from home during whatever hours we were not required to be at our job? Yes, if we just took one class at a time, it would take us longer to complete our degree. But each time we completed a class, we would be one class closer to completing that degree. When we get angry or upset at things we cannot control, we are giving away our power. If we get angry at another person, we are giving them our power to use against us. Trying to change or control someone else instead of concentrating on changing ourselves is another way of giving up our power. Dwelling on guilt related to something we cannot control is another way to give away our power. We maintain our power by controlling and/or changing ourselves and the areas that we have control over and accepting and living with (or even by quietly and unemotionally avoiding) those people and areas we do not have control over. Yes, this is all easier said than done. But the more you practice thinking and behaving in confident and powerful ways rather than in victim mode, the easier it becomes.

Sharon Ball, Christian Life, Wellness, and Weight Loss coach, is also a geriatric nurse practitioner. She has multiple web sites including http://www.reinventingyourselftodayblog.com and http://thinnerafter50.com Get free e-books at http://www.reinventingyourselftoday.com to help you set YOUR goals and reinvent YOUR life. Learn to identify your ideal life, clarify your values, and challenge your ideas and core beliefs. Set goals related to business and professional, personal and health as well as spiritual issues and create a plan to bring these goals to a successful conclusion. __________________________________________________________________________ Life is a process, a journey, and people sometimes need guidance to make the journey of life uniquely their own in addition to making it as happy and satisfying as possible. Reinventing Yourself Today presents programs that teach you exactly how to do this.

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COHESION & FLOW THR EE WAYS TO SUC

CEED

IN THE ART OF BALANCING

BY HEIDI JOHNSON

Audrey is a mid-level manager, crazy busy with work, aging parents, and furthering a career she isn’t even sure she wants. During our last coaching session she tells me...“If I could just find more balance in my life, everything would be better, I could breathe.” Indulge me for just a moment...picture something balanced: a teeter-toter, a high wire aerialist...what do they have in common? They aren’t moving. There is stagnation in achieving balance - no movement, no growth, no pizazz! Here’s what Audrey figured out she really wants...cohesion and flow; to have meaningful, purpose driven work using her strengths and inherent talent that’s cohesive to her lifestyle...and to have a cohesive lifestyle the supports her work. We set ourselves up for failure when we strive for balance. Being balanced is a myth...a hoax....it creates an illusion of Perfection...if you achieve balance, the nirvana of busy women everywhere, everything will be all right. So, what if you, and Audrey, aspire for balancing instead of balanced? What if you focused on strengths rather than weaknesses to have cohesion and flow? What if your values formed the base for your decisions?

To succeed in the Art of Balancing to create cohesion and flow you need to:

1. Say no to somethings to create the space for new possibility. 2. Start using an inherent talent to create a sense of rightness with your work. 3. Know your values and use them to make deliberate choices in work and life. Let’s take a look at #1... part of the stress and pressure women feel to achieve balance comes from over yes-ing, agreeing to more than what you’re able to accomplish, usually born from a desire to people please. When we bind ourselves so tight with obligations, there’s no space for movement, no space for balancing, for breathing. Learning to say no to activities not serving your quest for meaningful work will create more flow in your life. One of the ways Audrey started saying no and stopped over yes-ing was to instill a 24 hour moratorium on any requests made of her. This brought much needed breathing space for her to reflect on whether this would contribute to cohesion and flow or cause stagnation and resentment.

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Moving on to #2....The Art of Balancing is also about using strengths, the innate, inherent talent showcasing you at your best. But how many of us focus on our strengths? Usually we focus on what’s wrong with us... We can describe our expertise, what we know how to do, but often it’s not anywhere close to what we have a talent for. We’re also really good at identifying what we need to work on, to improve. However, if we spend all our time fixing something that isn’t innate, the parts of us inherently strong start to wither and fade. Focusing on our weaknesses is like cramming a square peg into a round hole...it doesn’t fit, so stop trying to make yourself into something you aren’t. Working with Audrey to create cohesion and flow allowed her to spend some time reflecting on the following questions to help identify her strengths: Where do you have a deep sense of satisfaction around learning? What areas of your life do you have instant insights and understandings? Where do you excel with effortless ability? As you start to connect with your inherent ability and strengths, like Audrey, you’ll also find yourself making decisions and choices differently. Capitalizing on talent builds true strength. Which leads us to #3...the strengths you identify usually have elements of core values imbedded in them. Having a strong foundation of values makes for easier choices when identifying fulfilling work. Think of values as a checks and balance system, much like saying no to activities not furthering your greater purpose, you can use your values to make a deliberate choice. Which brings us full circle because balancing is all about making deliberate choices between the beautiful, meaningful & frustrating, challenging aspects of our lives. Think back to a moment in your life where you were in your element, a peak experience. What elements gave it meaning and relevance? What qualities were present that gave you a sense of satisfaction? Herein are the seeds of your values. The Art of Balancing is a process and I encourage you to stop, pause, and think about how “no” can bring more space into your life, how to use your strengths and values to make a deliberate choice toward meaningful and purpose driven work, toward creating cohesion and flow. The Art of Deliberate Choice debuts in October 2013! Limited to 15 lovely ladies, this group explores values, developing strong inner resources and re-writing fear stories to bring clarity on how you want to show up in the world and create meaningful work. Read more here! at http://www.inkwellinsight.com/groupcoaching.php

Biography

Heidi Johnson is the Director of Possibility of Inkwell Insight Coaching ( http://www.inkwellinsight.com ). She specializes in supporting highly accomplished, highly caring women create meaningful, purpose driven work and navigate career transition. Through intimate 1:1 coaching and small personal groups, you will learn to make deliberate choices to meet your needs and still be of service to others. A lover of waffles and mountain air, her infectious joy makes deep inward exploration rewarding and, well, fun!

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ver

L G

Free Yourself with This Timely Tip!

AD t You Trapped?

By: Paula Eder

Whether you're a student, an entrepreneur, a coach, a busy mom, or any of a thousand other possibilities, one thing you probably know all too well is that there isn't enough time in the day! Your tasks sprout up like weeds, while the hours tick away. Stress rises and with that, as surely as day follows night, your productivity suffers. You're doing your best, but overwhelm is starting to take over, & that's never a good sign! Believe me, I know. I had one of those days recently. I wasn't even close to getting everything done, and I felt like I was drowning. So, what can you do? Well, there are 3 things you need to do immediately:

Take A Deep Breath.

This slows things down, literally. Feel how your heartbeat changes.

Don’t Panic.

Overwhelm really CAN feel like drowning, & it’s vital not to panic.

Take Heart.

Now that you are breathing slowly and NOT panicking, remind yourself that, no matter how trapped you feel, you still have choices!

You are at a crossroads – and it’s an important one. At first glance, it looks like there are two possible roads to take: Giving in to overwhelm Conquering it with your Time Management Toolbox If you give in to overwhelm, a cascade of outcomes follow. Letting overwhelm lead the way, you’ll most likely sabotage your good efforts, feel (and behave) like a victim, succumb to procrastination, and end up depleting your energy and losing your focus as gnawing worry takes more and more mental space.

Using your Time Management Toolbox, on the other hand, you’d probably take a step back and assess things like the urgency of the tasks, your values, and who will be affected if tasks are not completed. Then you’d prioritize, based on those factors.

But there is a third way that I’d like you to try on for size. Most recently, on that day when I was feeling especially overwhelmed, here’s what I did: I took a deep breath, didn’t panic, took heart … and then I told myself,

“I’ll never get it all done.”

Now, at first glance, you may be thinking, “That sounds an awful lot like giving up and letting overwhelm take over!” But hear me out. The key lies in the part of me that is speaking those words. They were spoken in a factual way, not self-pitying or victim-driven. The words were calm and factual - I call it my Adult Voice – and they relieved me of an impossible burden I was making myself carry.

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The words had an immediate, positive effect. Rather than spinning my wheels, I felt my feet squarely on the ground. Accepting my human limits, I gave myself permission to stop trying to achieve the impossible. This is truthful, realistic and grounding information, because even if each day had 48 hours and I lived to be 500 years old, I would never get everything done. It’s a fact of being alive that there will always be more. Always – so the point is not to bemoan this fact, but to take in the reality and allow it to temper our expectations. “I’ll never get it all done” Those words, spoken from an Adult, grounded place, let me be me. They help me clear my energy, take some emotional breathing space, and refocus on my top priority right now, in this moment. So, let’s go back to that moment of absolute overwhelm – the place where we started. Here’s what happens when I’m in that place and I say those words to myself:

I take all that diffuse, panicky energy that leaks out when I am feeling overwhelmed

I transform it, letting go of the impossible and focusing on the particular thing that I CAN do right now.

Do you feel the shift? It’s palpable. Taking in this reality-based information and letting go of unreasonable expectations, I naturally relax my shoulders and breathe deeply. I emerge from panic mode, and I let go. Admitting your limits when you come up against them and accepting your humanness doesn’t make you a victim. It is actually a fundamental key to your success. When you acknowledge the Adult truth that you’ll “never get it all done” you return to your tasks unburdened. You have renewed energy, a clearer focus, and the ability to be more efficient and effective … NOW! Not only that, but you feel relieved, refreshed, and rejuvenated! What do you find helpful when you are on overload? Not only that, but you feel

elefireeved sh ed ejuvenated

What do you find helpful when you are on overload? Biography of the Author Paula Eder, PhD is an internationally-known coach and published author who specializes in mentoring heart-based entrepreneurs and small business owners to align their core values and energy with their time choices and behaviors so that they make more money, create more freedom, and find more time. Always fascinated with time’s ability to hold the most profound and the most mundane moments simultaneously, Paula’s passion is helping people understand time through the gateway of their hearts.

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Anyone can get organized

with the right

SKILLS BY PARIS LOVE

Are you a natural organizer? A natural clutter magnet? A maybe-someday planner? An I-don’t-knowwhere-to-start thinker? Not everyone knows just what to do to “get organized.” I know this because I work with and help a lot of wonderful people just don’t have the skills to put order in their home or work environment. That’s what it’s about: organization SKILLS. Even if you don’t think in an organized way, you can learn to BE organized. It’s kind of like those of us who are not natural cooks.... but if someone puts a simple recipe in front of us, we can follow it step by step and produce an edible result. Or those of us who are not star athletes....yet we can have fun learning the skills and playing the game. Here are some starter skills for those of us who believe we may be organization-impaired....

Clutter Magnet

You of course know someone like this (not you, of course!). Two reasons for too much clutter are that we don’t know what to do with things when they enter our environment or; we can’t bear to part with things because they hold such meaning for us. The cost is that we spread ourselves too thin with the care of so many things and sacrifice our own peace at home or in the office. Starter Skill for Clutter Magnets: Look at one item at a time and ask yourself, “Do I need this more than I need space in my mind and my home?”

Maybe-Someday

Yes, we know that room down the hall with the door closed is a mess, and we just keep adding to it because we know that someday.... we will clean it out! In the meantime, we have to dig through the room to find something we might be looking for. Every time we pass the door, we think about the mess inside and it makes us feel....stressed? overwhelmed? relieved we don’t have to look at it too much? The cost can be measured in time and peace of mind. Starter Skill for Maybe-Someday Planners: Mark a real DATE on your calendar (within at most a month) to tackle that room and ask for help from your family and/or friends.

I-don’t know where to start....

BIOGRAPHY

Clutter and disorganization can be immobilizing both mentally and physically. Lack of planning can send us into a tizzy (that is my grandmother’s word and I like to use it to describe this sort of turning in circles for lack of the right direction). Cost: Nothing gets accomplished and we get more frustrated and overwhelmed. Starter Skill for I-don’t-know-where-to-start....thinkers: Take action and start with one area to organize i.e... desk drawer, desk top, kitchen cabinet. Note the use of the singular, not plural. Remember: Pick ONE small area to work on.

SEPTEMBER 2013

Paris Love is a Productivity and Organizational Consultant specializing in helping overextended professionals strive for a better quality of life infused with meaningful work, wealth, good health and well-being. Paris has written articles for NAPO News, Star Lee Magazine, Baldwin Parent, San Diego NAPO News, Organizing A to Z, Brown Skin Magazine, Online Organizing and Home Base Quarterly. Her most recent book is “Fifty Tips to Get You Organized in Ten Minutes or Less and Growing Pains.” You can catch Paris on A & E “Hoarders” where she helps a family in crisis. The old adage, “time is money” has never been truer than it is in today’s economy. And if you’re wasting time because you’re not organized, then you’re also wasting money. Paris can help. Visit her website at www. ParisLoveInstitute.com or 770.722.2748.

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