BUSINESS LESSONS LEARNED

SPIRITUALITY IS DIFFERENT FOR ALL OF US. My journey is not like yours, my life is different from yours, and my Higher Power is definitely not like yours. And that’s more than OK. Differences are what makes life fun, interesting, wonderful. I am all about the wonderful.

I’m not perfect. I smoke and I drink, and I listen to rock and roll (well mostly the Grateful Dead). I’m happy and have serenity in my life, however, I wasn’t always like this. My life changed drastically about 10 years ago. Then, I was miserable, unable to do my job well, lonely and cried all the time. My life was pure hell.

Eat Pray Love

When I was at my lowest, I read two books that were life changing for me. The first was Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. Elizabeth taught me to be open to new things. New things are where the magic happens. The second book was Pastrix by Nadia Bolz-Weber. Nadia taught me that God loves me just the way I am.

Try new things? God loves me? Wait!!!! I know that!!!! Or do I???? I did try new things – my life has always been adventurous; hell, I had worked in Haiti, Iraq and the oil sands. Is that not adventurous enough? Yes, God loves me – I have gone to church throughout my life – maybe not regularly – but enough. Why do I still feel alone?

Hmmmmm… maybe I should try something new, for me, for my soul. I screwed up my courage and walked into the room of a 12 step program. That was scary (adventurous – check). That room is where my spiritual journey began. These people spoke my language – they didn’t think I was crazy. I understood them and they understood me. They loved me in a very special way, while I was hating myself (Was this God?).

In Comes Fred

Since then, my life has changed drastically. I am almost always happy, I love my job, and I have friendships that fill my soul. I don’t do resting bitch face – I do resting smiling face. I lead an adventurous life and God does love me, just the way I am. Spirituality has grown for me; it’s no longer just religion. For me, Spirituality is bigger than religion, at the center of my spirituality is my Higher Power.

I call my Higher Power Fred. Fred is sort of like God but more approachable and more all-encompassing. Fred is my friend. I have learned that Fred is always with me, when I bbbbbrrrreeeaaatttthhhheeee I feel Fred’s love and guidance. The best way I can describe Fred is that he is the warm fuzzy blanket of love.

Fred has given serenity to me. My life is good – I do things that make me happy, I have boundaries, and I respect your boundaries. Everything in my life is not peaches and cream; nobody’s life is like that. Fred has given me the options to ask for help or to take a step back or to not engage. I don’t have the power to make the world end.

Fred has given me courage. I say ‘no, thank you’ if I don’t want to be a part of something. I celebrate that we have differing beliefs and experiences, differences foster learning. I love trying new things; they are both exciting and scary for me. I can do things badly (have you seen me dance with abandon? It’s not a pretty sight). Through this Fred always loves me, and gives me a sense of safety. None of this has been easy, but I know that I am loved in failure just as much as in success.

Fred has given wisdom to me. I live my life with the idea that wisdom is everywhere. I attend an evening compline service weekly and still find solace in the church I grew up in. I practice yoga regularly and wear symbols of Fred’s love for me. This morning I watched the sunrise and marveled at the picture that was painted just for me. He has given me the wisdom that I am worth loving, just the way I am.

Fred has brought people and things into my life, sometimes for me to learn from and sometimes for me to guide them. Most of the times it is a bit of both. This morning a friend reached out to me – when I told her that I was writing on Spirituality she said, “I think Spirituality is the foundation on which we build a life of serenity, courage and wisdom.”

Yes. This!!! All of this!!!

DO YOU EVER LOOK BACK AT YOUR LIFE AND KNOW FOR CERTAIN THAT THINGS UNFOLDED JUST HOW THEY WERE MEANT TO IN ORDER TO GUIDE YOU TO YOUR ULTIMATE PURPOSE?

In my 40th year, I found myself unexpectedly pregnant. My husband, Ken, and I were a blended family, living in British Columbia, with four teenage daughters ranging in age from 15-18. Anyone who’s experienced the gifts of a blended family and teenage daughters will know how very challenging this can be - now add a pregnancy!

KYRA ARRIVES

Shortly after Kyra’s birth in the spring of 2002, Ken was offered a job in Ontario and we moved across the country. As we settled into our new home, I noticed differences in Kyra’s development. Being an “experienced” mother, I knew something wasn’t right with my daughter. Doctors brushed off this gut sense. We were added to excessively long waitlists to see specialists and told to “wait and see.”