RELATIONSHIPS MY PURPOSE

I continued to push. Finally, Kyra was assessed and followed by some of the best specialists in the world in Toronto. We were told that Kyra was on the Autism Spectrum; her brain did not develop properly, and we should “not expect too much” as she would “never walk or talk.” The level of devastation upon hearing this cannot be understated. However, we were not ready to give up on our girl. We knew that Kyra had the ability to learn. She was just much slower on the uptake. And with that, we were committed to providing her every opportunity she needed to have the best chance in life.

THE JOURNEY BEGINS

With the challenges she faced, Kyra needed special supports and various forms of therapies, all specialized and very expensive with minimal public funding. With that in mind, I made a career change, moving from my Development Management position at a prestigious private school to an Executive Director at a specialized learning centre for children with special needs. This allowed me to apply my innate skills to build a flourishing charity for kids like Kyra while she received the various therapies she needed. We started to see some gains in her behaviour and language development, and I was working just down the hall while it was unfolding.

It was at this centre that I started to finally connect with many families that had stories that paralleled ours. Many were completely lost, unsupported, and unable to afford the early intervention their children needed. We established an in-house charity with the goal of providing families with bursaries towards their intervention expenses and to connect with other families on the same journey.

thechaiwallahs.com

ANOTHER MOVE

As Kyra was settling into preschool, we were unexpectedly on the move again, this time to Red Deer. I was floored by what I found for supports for our girl. Children’s Services Center (now Aspire Special Needs Resource Centre) is a local agency that provides wraparound early intervention under one roof, and integrated daycare options. The move brought us closer to our older girls in BC. It was a perfect opportunity for our family.

Red Deer quickly felt like home. The community was supportive and welcoming. The care, education, and family support we received from CSC (Aspire) were exceptional. I was quickly welcomed to CSC’s Board of Directors and soon thereafter connected with the Central Alberta Autism Society. We were finding our way and the world of Autism.

I soon started working as the Fundraising and Marketing Director at CSC. Over the next three years, I became very involved provincially, sitting on various boards. This is where I really started to see the void in long-term planning for children like Kyra.

I met families and heard their stories. Most families with special needs children live day-to-day, relying on government support, hoping for a miracle. However, families face great challenges with transitional periods (i.e., childhood to adulthood), and options for life-long supports and housing are limited at best. Planning is essential but many families don’t have a plan beyond the basic wills, guardianship, and RDSP (Registered Disability Savings Plan). Parents simply get by on hope that they will always be there and their adult children with special needs will live with them.

MY PURPOSE EMERGES

I realized that I needed to dedicate my future to finding a solution to this incredibly problematic deficit in our society. With no viable options, children like Kyra would be stranded when parents are no longer around to care for them. I needed to learn more. I needed to develop relationships with builders, developers, government agencies, PDD, AISH, and city planners. So, once again I changed careers. In 2010, I became a licensed Realtor; this provided me access to important stakeholders and gave me the flexibility to work towards new goals.

I have increased my provincial involvement to include a housing committee in Calgary focused on finding options for families just like mine. I started to see all the pieces of our long and sometimes arduous journey with our girl finally come together. Through our experiences with Kyra, we were faced head-on with startling gaps in our society.

Yet, during my time as Kyra’s mother, I simultaneously came to possess the marketing, development, community, health, care, familial, and logistical knowledge needed to begin to fill these holes. But, Ken and I couldn’t do it alone; I knew that we parents with special needs children needed to grow together and learn from one another in order to solve the crisis that faces us all. Thus, to formalize this need for unity, I established a parent group called Connecting CommUNITY.

Connecting CommUNITY was founded for the purpose of connecting families. Over the years, advocates and supportive parents grow apart from one another simply because of time and limited options for socialization that naturally comes with having dependent children. We spend our time navigating the system and looking for opportunities for our loved ones to be involved and included in society. Connecting CommUNITY was established to join parents and other key stakeholders together to find financially sustainable housing solutions and help guide the journey toward independent living.

While still very much in its infancy, Connecting CommUNITY is a place for ideas and support, assisting families as their special needs children make the transition from childhood to adulthood. We need to help parents become emotionally and financially ready to live apart from their children and assist them in developing a long-term housing and support plan that is sustainable for all involved. And we are getting there, one small step at a time.

WHERE I AM MEANT TO BE

When I was suddenly thrown into being an expectant mother again at age 40, I never could have imagined that it would have landed me here 19 years later. Kyra’s challenges have created many awakenings. It is because of her challenges that I have had the privilege of meeting many amazing and dedicated parents. Her challenges have helped me to understand the limitations our system places on families, educators, and service providers. And most of all, her challenges have left me exactly where I was meant to be.

In 2002, Kim found her world turned upside down with the birth of her youngest daughter, Kyra, who was diagnosed with Autism. Since that time, she has been on a path to create a sustainable Life Plan to give Kyra the best life possible now and in the future. Kim has been a licensed Realtor® since 2010, which was driven by her entrepreneurial passion and need to find housing

WHY DO I FIND POSITIVITY DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC? To explain why I don’t dislike the pandemic and find how I opportunity amongst the challenge of it, I must begin by sharing my story.

I was born and educated in Colombia. I had hard-working parents who had a lot of energy, raising nine children. We were a poor family, but were strongly encouraged to focus on our studies. My father instilled this drive and determination in us. We would never stop studying because it was seen as the inheritance that he would leave for us.

Since I was a child, I liked change and challenges; things that were difficult to achieve. Once I finished my first degree at University, I set the goal for myself to create a non-governmental organization to help those most in need. I had many personal achievements, but I did not have money because, as you know, when working in the non-governmental sector, there are many wins, but one must live on very little.

Over time, I took on other challenges, like working with the largest companies in the country, such as the Federation Nacional de Cafeteros de Colombia, La Industria Licorera de Caldas, or Colpatria, a very well-known bank institution in the country.

When the project was finished, I went on to work with women. In the women’s shelter I learned a lot, climbing ranks from being casual on the front line to becoming a house manager, and later to be the Executive Director in another women’s centre.

I faced another big challenge in moving to Red Deer, accepting the position at the Central Alberta Sexual Assault Support Centre (CASASC) where I’ve been for the past six years.

A Challenge is an Opportunity

Another challenge I took on was leaving a small city and immigrating to the capital city of the country to work with the President of the Republic of Colombia as a Human Rights Advisor. The next challenge was to work with the Indigenous communities of Colombia in a national training project for these communities. And then I took the step – the step that no one in my family had dared to take - to leave my country.

Coming to Canada

When I immigrated to Canada, I left my family, my friends, my job, my car and my house all behind me, and, without knowing, I was also leaving my studies behind.

Many of you must know what it is to start from scratch, learn a crazy and difficult language, learn the culture, make new friends and look for a job. That was definitely a challenge, since I never did have a new job in the past like cleaning a hospital in Toronto. COVID-19, for me, is just another major challenge that I have turned into an opportunity. This is the opportunity: to stop, evaluate, review, rethink and change what needs to be changed and move on.

This is the time to do our own strategic life planning. What is your mission? What is your vision? Where do you want to go? What do you want to do? With whom? How?

The past is very important, but most important is the future.

The past cannot return. The past is just that - the past. This is the moment we must evaluate, change and move on.

At CASASC, we did not close the offices. We did not stop or pause for a second. We changed the style of our work. We improved how we operated and the services we provide. We are offering many other ways for victims to access our services no matter where they are from. Not one employee was laid off within our organization. Here we were all working and supporting each other constantly. We learned new ways of working for the benefit of the community. We never expected to return to normal. We created a “new normal” immediately after the pandemic was declared.

Everything for me in Canada was a challenge, but I always had in my head the challenge to myself of “being the same professional I was in Colombia.” I decided that factor would guide me in everything I did. I did not stop studying. I did not stop applying for jobs that required “good English” that I could qualify for. My goal was to get to know the culture, learn more about job interviews and prepare for it. I am not afraid of challenges. I learn, I grow, and I look for opportunities. The opportunities always come, and I am always ready to take them on.

Soon I had an upgrade position, working with cancer patients in a pilot project at Princess Margaret Hospital, Toronto General and Westerner Hospital. I did it with a lot of love. I enjoyed it and learned a lot. I did that job after having been in housekeeping in the same hospitals and later became a hemodialysis assistant.

Patricia Arango is the Executive Director of the Central Alberta Sexual Assault Support Centre. She also serves on the Central Alberta Child Advocacy Board of Directors and the Lifelong Learning Council of Red Deer Board of Directors. Patricia is a member of Rotary Club of Red Deer Sunrise. She is a tireless advocate for women, minorities and human rights.

This past year has been a roller coaster of change and many people have found themselves working from home. Our world has become reliant on technology via computers, laptops, iPads, and phones as we access our work and connect with others while staying at home. This has changed how we work, and people may find themselves at kitchen tables sitting in a kitchen chair. Many have adapted a fold-up table, home offices, or our children’s desks as work stations.

Neck & Shoulder Pain

In my 22 years of practice, I’ve seen a dramatic increase in complaints of neck and shoulder pain with headaches from poor posture since the transition to working from home. Over 90% of patients filling out my intake and history forms now indicate poor posture as a cause of complaint; this is a postural epidemic.

Healthy posture declines at the speed of technology. Tech posture is the forward head tilt with an increased midback curve called a hyper-kyphosis. When your trunk flexes forward, you have poor balance; this imbalance decreases your ability to regulate movement properly. You’ll have a slower gait and a wider stance, causing poor coordination and balance. Poor posture also results in a poor cognitive and emotional state. Posture distortion is, unfortunately, the new normal, and we need to reverse this in the ‘digital age.’ Digital dementia is defined as non-Alzheimers dementia-like symptoms from the overstimulation of devices and poor lifestyle habits.

Rehab Your Posture

How do we help change and correct our posture?

Spinal alignment: chiropractic adjustments can stimulate the spine, musculoskeletal system and the nervous system to function optimally, Posture rehabilitation exercises, and Posture habit re-education.

1. Stand with your back against the wall with your heels, buttocks, shoulder blades, and head against the wall. Keep your head in a neutral position, not tipped up or down. Press your head straight into the wall and hold for 10 seconds. Do five reps per day.

2. Posture Angels: Stand with your back against the wall with your heels, buttocks, shoulder blades, and head against the wall. Again, place your head in a neutral position. Move your arms from your sides to over your head without taking them off the wall. Do 10 per day

3. The ‘Titanic” Stand: Extend your arms straight out behind you, contracting your shoulder blades. Extend your ear up and back, looking at the ceiling, and hold for 30 seconds. Do this once for every 45 min to hour of tech time.

4. Superman Extensions: Lay on your stomach raise your head; raise your arms in front and raise your legs at the same time. Hold for 30 seconds; do 5 reps per day.

5. Backward Ball Stretch: Lay backward over a gym ball with arms up over the head; hold and breathe into it.

POSTURE RE-EDUCATION:

1. Take frequent posture breaks. Extend your head backward and arms back behind you. For every hour on a device, you need a 30-sec posture break

2. More movement. Sit on an unstable surface such as sitting with a wobble seat or posture seat, or ball chairs

3. Do Digital Detoxes. Decrease tech time; monitor your screen time. Commit to 3 tech-free hours each day.

Devices and technology are part of our world, and we need to watch how we interact with them. Poor posture and technology overuse affect our mood, sleep, increases our anxiety, and cause us stress.

As adults, we developed our posture before technology; our children have always had the technology, so it is up to us to teach them how to uses it correctly and to monitor them on time and correct habits.

Dr. Joelle Johnson has been in practise for 21 years and grew up in Central Alberta, attending Red Deer College and the University of Regina to complete two Bachelor of Science Degrees. She then completed her Doctor of Chiropractic with high honors at Northwestern College of Chiropractic in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

Dr. Joelle’s interest in women’s health, pre-conception care, pre-natal chiropractic, post-natal chiropractic and pediatric chiropractic in her practice has led her to complete her International Chiropractic Pediatric Association Diplomate, and FICPA board certification. Dr. Johnson is also certified in the Webster technique and the Gardner System for Breech Presentation as well as many other birthing, prenatal, post-natal and pediatric care certifications. She currently working on a certification in child and adolescent neurodevelopment.

WHERE I AM MEANT TO BE

BY STEFFANI FRIESEN

I am exactly where I am meant to be, through no help from my plans. From as early as ten years old, I knew I wanted to be an Interior Designer. When it came time to start career planning, I was in my counsellor’s office what felt like every week to ensure I was still on track. While studying for my Bachelors of Interior Design, more plans and goals were developed for the next steps in life. Looking back, there was never a time when I didn’t have a detailed plan for even the simplest life experiences. I graduated with this bright future planned out ahead of me. Slowly, the plans started falling apart.

When the Plans Go Off the Rails

A chronic pain disorder took over my life. I was grief-struck, watching what used to be my life disintegrate day by day. I wasted away in bed with no end in sight and no hope from professionals at such a young age. Medication, doctors, specialists, programs, and treatments -it felt like I had tried everything, with no relief. I was told to accept life as it was, because there was nothing more they could do for me.

I refused this life sentence that was so easily handed out by the specialists, and asked myself, how can I adjust and move forward? Working full-time was not an option, so I concluded it must be time to start my own business (twenty years earlier than I had planned, may I add). I couldn’t help but think this was a sign. For those that really know me, putting myself out there does not come easily. I’m full of self-doubt and struggled with belonging. I lived with the fear that they would see how unwell I was and doubt my ability to start and run my business. I found myself asking, why show up?

But I did, even though some days it was all I could do to just show up. I challenged those fears with networking groups, trade shows, marketing, and collaborations. I had nothing to lose; nobody could hurt me the way my body and mind was hurting itself.

Now this is where my story takes a turn. The fairytale ending I hoped for was that my business is booming; it overcame the challenges, and I did as well. It didn’t and I didn’t either. My health got much worse, and the business wasn’t viable for many reasons. I found what felt like bottom. I had dreams of a career, a family, a life full of adventures. Chronic pain left me feeling futureless and with so many questions. How could I be a mother if I couldn’t get out of bed most days? How could I be a role model to others if I wasn’t a career woman with goals and financial stability?

Opportunity Knocks

During this time my husband found information on treatment of chronic pain through diet. This was the change that got me back on my feet again and feeling better than ever. Mentally and physically, I

I had my life back and opportunity came knocking.

When my dream job was presented to me, it wasn’t wrapped with a pretty bow, it was disguised. Disguised as failure of my business, and failure of myself. I soon realized behind this disguise was a dream come true, and a place of belonging. By just showing up again and again, I learned that I wasn’t the only one with these fears. By continually putting myself out there, I gained the confidence in myself to stand for my spot in the room. Without this journey, I wouldn’t have become the first Interior Designer, working to develop a large company’s Interior Design department.

Not everything bad that happens to us needs to be cruel and meaningless. Not everything good is going to be immediately apparent in our lives. Once I stopped trying to control everything and opened myself to new opportunities, my future started aligning with my goals. By giving up control and my personal fears, it has allowed room for others to provided unique supports to help along the way; you don’t have to do this on your own. This journey has taught me that, although your path may not be one you initially chose, your experiences are preparing you for where you are meant to be.

Steffani Friesen has always been an old soul who lives for authentic human connection. Overly proud dog mom to three beautiful dogs Douglas, Clarkson, and Lanette and a wife to her incredible husband, Kyle, Steffani is the lead Interior Designer at Eagle Builders, an innovative pre-cast concrete design build company local to Blackfalds, AB.

SONJA SKAGE

Sonja Skage has a diverse background. After a corporate career in HR, she started a consulting business which encompassed executive coaching, HR and Project Management consulting, real estate investing, raising capital for start-ups, investing in crypto-currencies, and trading stocks. She is currently focused on trading and investments and is dedicated to her own self-improvement and very focused on using her life and her goals as the pathway to develop herself.

MONEY IS A CONSTANT PART OF OUR DAY TO DAY LIVES. IN THE WORLD IN WHICH WE LIVE, money affects most of the choices we make. Whether it’s what we buy at the grocery store or where we live or whether or not we go on vacation or what kind of vacation we have, money often decides it. Money is also a part of my inner world in terms of my beliefs, my thoughts about it, my feelings when I think of money; I call it the conversation that runs in my head. I’ve learned that if my relationship with money isn’t going well, I’ve got some work to do. Don’t we always know it? When something isn’t going well? I would offer you the suggestion that getting your money working well is a lifelong journey and our own life always shows us the work to be done.

Your relationship with money

In your relationship with money, what’s working and what’s not? What beliefs do you have that are serving you in your relationship with money? And which ones aren’t working so well? What’s in the way of you achieving the results you want?

You know what’s working and what isn’t; you know the way you want it to be, and, more than likely, you have some thoughts, some feelings, and some judgements about what the heck is going on.

If you were going to describe your relationship with money, how would you describe it? Would you say it’s healthy or unhealthy?