SMJ Magazine Anniversary issue #22 Summer 2018

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Acquiring an ART for the VISUAL Arts

Lifestyle A Horse of a DIFFERENT COLOUR

BUSINESS

Kwesiya’s Fifth Anniversary SUMMER/ANNIVERSARY 2018 $4.99 CANADA

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FEATURE DENGIYEFA AKENE:

Climbing the Steps to the MUSICAL STAGE

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Artist: Dengiyefa Akene Photographer: Sheldon Steeles, Zary Photograph 2

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Table of

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7. From The Desk of Shelley ... by Shelley Jarrett 10. Jeff Rustia: A Tribute ... by Claris Minas Manglicmot 15. Acquiring an Art for the Visual Arts ... by Andrew Terry Pasieka 32. The Greening of Nikole Belanger ... by Andrew Terry Pasieka

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Lifestyle

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8. SMJ BEAUTY CLOSET Finding My Beauty ... by Leandra Vanessa Matthie 12. Xian Alexadrov: A Mens Designer to Watch ... by Claris M. Manglicmot 21. A Horse of a Different Colour ... by Andrew Terry Pasieka 26. Mental Illness: Too Close to Home ... Nakeisha Geddes 28. They Could and They Did ... by Shelley Jarrett 34. Affairs of the Heart: How to Tell if Someone is Looking for No Strings Attached Encounters ... by Akua Hinds

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14. Kwesiya: Celebrating Five Years ... by Claris Minas Manglicmot 30. Kym Niles’s Business Evolution: I Can and I Will ... by Shelley Jarrett

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18. Climbing the Steps to the Musical Stage ... by Andrew Terry Pasieka

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www.smjmag.com

Founder & Publisher Shelley Jarrett Editor-in-Chief Andrew Terry Pasieka ANN

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Chief Photographer Lubin Tasevski

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Contributors Shelley Jarrett Andrew Terry Pasieka Claris Minas Manglicmot Akua Hinda Nakeisha Geddes Leandra Vanessa Matthie Lu Chau (Photographer) Olga Hutsu (Photographer) Xavier Nexell (Photographer) Sheldon Steeles (Photographer) Amir Yadanparast (Photographer)

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Publicity LIM Media Group Inc. Website www.sjimagecreations.com www.smjmag.com Contact publisher@smjmag.com SMJ Magazine is a division of 1994903 Ontario Corp.

Summer/Anniversry 2018 Issue No. 19

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DISCLAIMER: We reserve the right to edit all content for space and clarity. All submissions when edited become the property of Seventh House Publishing Arts. No part of this magazine may be produced in any form without the expressed written consent of the publisher. We make a conscious effort to ensure complete accuracy of all content; however we accept no liability for any inaccurate information. SMJ Magazine is published with limited print editions four (4) times a year. To advertise in our publication, be featured or for more information, please contact us at publisher@smjmag.com or visit www.smjmag.com. For editorials contact atp11th@gmail.com

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SHELLEY JARRETT AWARD WINNING IMAGE/STYLE CONSULTANT, MENTOR, SPEAKER & PUBLISHER

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Congratulations to all of us here at SMJ Magazine for reaching five years of publishing.

In fact, we will be picking up our print editions on June 21st, our actual anniversary date and the first day of summer!! I can still remember that sultry summer evening at the Emporium five years ago when we launched our publication with an open air atmosphere, live music, and Lake Ontario literally across the street. We are truly indebted to our incredible dream team that were part of that night, all those who have shared in their gifts and talents with us for even one issue, and finally, you our readers, as well as social media followers, who continue to inspire and motivate us.

By the time Issue No. 21 is published, we would have elected a new premiere in Ontario. In our Fall 2014 issue (No. 6), we tried to get a grasp on the incredible legacy Mississauga’s was asking the two leading mayoralty candidates to follow, after Hazel McCallion’s 36 years in power. This provincial campaign had so many twists and turns, both before and after the campaign began, that we thought it best to leave the reporting to others.

We found other things to celebrate. Our feature celebrates a rising new talent in gospel music. Dengiyefa Akene didn’t get to where he is now easily; in fact, he almost didn’t get there at all…but for the music!

At long last, our First Nations peoples are getting an opportunity to enlighten us with their stories. Their stories are for the most part tragic, but at least they are now being told. That is why Indian Horse is such an important Canadian film for us to review.

SMJ Magazine is pleased to bring you another fifth anniversary, that of Kwesiya’s Fanny Ngantcheu. Our Fashion & Design Editor Claris M. Manglicmot was at this celebration and sends us her report. And this is the fifth story we are doing on Fanny. One for each year! We look forward to our next one!

In this issue we spotlight a fashion event director extraordinaire, but in a very different way. Claris celebrates the life of Jeff Rustia, who passed away in May. Finally, what’s a celebration in 2018 without including The Royal Romance? I can honestly say that I shared something with royals Harry and Meaghan as I celebrated my wedding anniversary just two days before they tied the knot. However, there was a lot of talk, especially on social media, about the black influence that permeated the ceremony. Several people got fired up over it, so I wanted to dive right into the history of the royals and have my say. (I was also privileged to attend a private ‘live streaming’ of the wedding.) Of course, we have to showcase the official photographs from Alex Lubomirski.

We are heading into the long hot summer months. Times to get out more, attend more events, and spend more time together with friends and loved ones. Please continue to support us, advertise with us, share our magazine with others and remember, we are open to collaborations and partnerships.

Diversity is our strength; it’s all our responsibility to practice it. Diversity is a fact, inclusion is a choice. Choose wisely!

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Beauty CLOSET

Finding My Beauty

By Leandra Vanessa Matthie

In a world where beauty has several faces, women like me constantly fight what seems to be a losing battle. I feel the constraints of society, especially social media, where everyone is trying to find a niche in which to belong. My niche has been beauty, makeup and hair but in trying to create a space within this group, I realized that I had lost myself. I was in a state of flux and there was this never ending need to recreate and reinvent myself in order to “keep up.”

Before I found myself and broke free of the shackles of social media, I would frequently question society’s standards of beauty and ask “what is beauty and what does society or social media deem beautiful?”

It was during my quest to answer these questions, that I stumbled upon myself and discovered not society nor social media’s idea of beauty, but my own. I discovered that my beauty is rooted in my confidence. And once I became comfortable in my own skin, I saw myself as beautiful. I began to exude this sense of awareness. I began to challenge my insecurities and faced them head on. I became secure wearing my natural hair, going out in public with no makeup and exposing what I saw before as my ugliness. My insecurities with having acne, black spots, blemishes, and all my other “defects” began to fade away. There was no longer the fear nor was there the need to hide. I was free.

I started to feel powerful and in control. I wasn’t trying to balance my desire to stand out with society’s pressure to fit in. I started to rebrand myself and as a result, my personal style and my blog took a different direction.

Style Like UR Rich (SLUR), which started off as a means of teaching my followers that I didn’t have to break the bank to live in style, showcased the fashionista in me. It became my voice of empowerment. I started to write and speak from the heart. I approached my new reality, not on society’s terms, but on my own. My style really became my

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style, and my personal blog took on a life of its own. That new found confidence got me to appreciate myself and life way more than I ever did.

To be honest, I still have my moments of insecurity.

After all, being active on social media leaves one open to where the world can either accept or reject you.

Although I am self-assured, there’s still this part of me that will always crave that outside acceptance. I am a strong individual and when that rejection came in the past, I took it in stride, but on some deeper internal level, these jabs did have an impact on my outlook.

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However, discovery of my true self has allowed me not to dwell too much on the negative. I have learnt to look beyond someone else’s opinion of me, especially an opinion based solely on image.

This was an image which I had manufactured and created, and one that allowed me to be comfortable in my own skin.

In the end, I figured out that a woman’s confidence is both her best defense and offence as she navigates a social medium which can be extremely cruel. Confidence leads to awareness, and any woman who is aware of her power will be beautiful. Having that assertiveness has allowed me to thrive and live in society with as minimal social scars as possible. So, a woman can win the battle and find her beauty!

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Jeff Rustia passed away in May 2018. I am still in shock. I have known Jeff since 2013.

In that summer, me and my family were driving around downtown Toronto and I saw a big billboard advertising Canada Philippine Fashion Week [CPFW ]. I surfed the internet and found out they needed volunteers. I offered my help because I was so proud Canada would be featuring Filipino Designers. The volunteers’ slots were almost filled in but I got in end of May for the June event. I wanted to support Filipino talents. My daughter was also enlisted as one of the dressers backstage.

I was one of the VVIP Handlers to ensure Designers are taken care of. We had access from backstage to the main runway area to ensure our designers were all set either for their media interviews, red carpet appearances or their runway presentations. It was not perfect. There were times there was no food. Some complained about it but for me I just grabbed food anywhere. I even booked a room in the hotel and invited some of my team members to change from street clothes to evening look since we were there from morning ‘til late.

How did I meet Jeff? It was 3pm on the day of the runway show. He came in the hotel lobby lounge where I was seated with the rest of our team. We were on standby to assist designers. He looked so tired. He was negotiating over the phone with the venue which was refusing to take his late check payment. After sometime, he was able to work out a solution and needed to go right away to give the payment. We chat a bit and he was asking me to help him pick what outfit to wear. He freshened up and changed.

We went down in the lobby where I am stationed. He thanked me and off he went to pay the bill. I also covered him when one designer wasn’t treated very well. While all of the designers were picked up in the airport and was booked in the hotel, this particular designer was not in our VVIP Handlers list. He took the subway and was staying at his Canadian friend’s house. Of course he was not happy.

I talked to him and asked for his understanding. The CPFW was run by a big team and Jeff had so many responsibilities.

I said it was the very first CPFW and most of the people are volunteers. He understood and we made it work. I went to pick him up in his friend’s house, book him a room in the hotel and arranged him a lunch meeting with Jeff.

After CPFW 2013 I lost touch with Jeff. Then I learned CPFW was dissolved and gone after just two seasons. It 10

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was a big loss after a good start. Up to now I still have not seen any event organizer who can bring in 10 designers from overseas in a week-long event, seven of them with assistants from Philippines who had free airfares (ManilaToronto-Manila, this is about $1,500 each) plus hotel and food. That was the cost of the sourced flights for the attendees. Yes there were flaws. Food was not good enough, the fitting venue wasn’t the best and more. I don’t know, I could be wrong, but still he and his team did an amazing job.

Then Jeff started Toronto Men’s Fashion Week [TOM] in June 2014, this time as solo. Of course he had a team, but I don’t know how he did it but what I am sure about is he made it. I went to the twice annual shows to support my friend, Sands Palabrica, the owner of Modeles LCP modeling agency.

My first participation was when one of the designers I represent, Tristan Licud, showcased his very first Spring/ Summer Men’s Collection at TOM in 2016. I reconnected with Jeff. I liked how he wanted to support new and talented designers. Tristan Licud became a regular designer at TOM runway with the support of Couture Culture and Arts (CCA) team.

As we all know, Master Card dropped their major sponsorship of Toronto Fashion Week [TFW ] in 2017. TWF lingered for one more season and then was gone due to funding issues. All of fashion was saddened. Jeff responded

by launching Toronto Women’s Fashion Week [TW ] in August 2017. I couldn’t help but admire his timing. On October 2017 I collaborated with Jeff with my CCA team. Jeff received the support of Agnes P. Miranda, Executive Vice-Chairman of World Financial Group (WFG) and together we presented the Spring/Summer 2018 Collection of Amato Couture by Furne One on Closing Night.

Jeff was a visionary. Prior to his fashion ventures Jeff was already established in TV entertainment industry.

I was not Jeff’s close friend. We did not hang out together but we talked a lot about shows and fashion.

I am still in shock. It is a reminder that indeed life is too short. He is gone too soon. I want to remember all the good things about Jeff. I am not big on showing my emotions in public but this time, I want to show my grief to the fashion community. He deserves to be honored with his contribution to the fashion industry.

May he rest in peace. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeff_Rustia Claris Minas Manglicmot is the Founder and Creative Director of Couture Culture and Arts (CCA). Go to: www.couturecultureandarts.com

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XIAN ALEXADROV:

A Mens Designer to WATCH

By Claris M. Manglicmot

experiences would you consider to be the inspirations in becoming who you are now?

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By Claris Minas Manglicmot

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The fashion industry is collectively a multibillion-dollar global enterprise devoted to the business of making and selling clothes. A lot of individuals looking to break into the fashion industry think of it as lucrative, but this comes with great challenges as well. One may have an eye for designing, but a superior clothes sketching is not clothes production. It starts with textile making, with understanding fabric and what fabric best fits a design. Last but not the least is marketing, know who your target market is and how to market to them. No matter how well the clothes are made, if they cannot be sold then it is not a legitimate business.

The fashion industry is collectively a multibilliondollar global enterprise devoted to the business I am so proud to see the maturity of a designer who singlehandedly has grown her fashion business of making and sellinginclothes.

A lot of individuals true entrepreneur style. She is an example to all designers out there who think it cannot be done financial partners.

Fanny Ngantcheu of Kwesiya did it! looking to break into without the fashion industry think ofDesigner it as lucrative, but this comes with great challenges as well. was a pleasure Fanny celebrate her 5th year in fashion at the Cube in Toronto last May 9th. The One may have an eyeItfor designing, buttoasee superior venue was packed with clothes sketching is not clothes production. It people starts excited to see her and the models wearing her latest collection. I am so proud of how far she has and come in penetrating the fashion industry. She had one of her first runway shows with textile making, with understanding fabric as one of the designers opening for John Ablaza at our Couture and Culture production in January 2014. what fabric best fits a design. Last but not the least is marketing, know who your target market is and how Fanny had just moved from Paris to Toronto in 2013. She wanted to have a fresh start in Canada. She was to market to them. No matter how well the clothes are inspired by the street fashion of Parisians while she resided in France. The fashionable streets of Paris are like made, if they cannot be soldrunways, then it isand notita islegitimate reality in that kind of setting where she wanted her clothes creations to be found. Moving to business.

Canada did not change that focus. Her motto remains the same, make clothes, incorporating African fabrics that can be worn by customers, regardless of their origin, anywhere, anytime and for any occasion.

I am so proud to see the maturity of a designer who singlehandedly has grown fashion business in far beyond that runway. She was featured in an SMJ Magazine article in 2015 Fannyher Ngantcheu has gone custom a dress for the Publisher at the Canada Glass Awards (Ed. Note; with a little matching true entrepreneur style.

She ismaking an example to all something for the be Editor-in-Chief!).

In the fall of 2016 Kwesiya was featured again as part of our front designers out there who think it cannot done coverDesigner feature on African Fashion Week Toronto. Last year Fanny won the Accessory Designer of the Year without financial partners.

Fanny Ngantcheu Award at the AFWT. Fast forward Kwesiya designs are now selling all over the world online and in stores. of Kwesiya did it!

I am excited to see more of Fanny’s work. She is not just using African fabric. Each year she mixes African It was a pleasure to see Fanny celebrate her 5th year fabrics and fabrics from other parts of the world in an attempt to show how different cultures can in fashion at the Cube in Toronto last May 9th. The function together through fashion. In this year’s collection, she fused African fabrics and Indian silk. I venue was packed with people excited to see her look forward to her medley of fabrics in uniquely created and beautifully finished Kwesiya creations and the models wearing her latest collection. I am through the years. so proud of how far she has come in penetrating the fashion industry. She had one of her first runway To find out more about Kwesiya: Website: www.kwesiya.com / Facebook.com/Kwesiya /Instagram.com/Kwesiya_ shows as one of the designers opening for John Ablaza at our CoutureMODEL and Culture production in JESSIE CROSSING / PHOTOGRAPHER:Lu Chau /MAKE-UP ARTIST : Karen Chou Tiam January 2014.

MODEL HONEY BENJAMIN / PHOTOGRAPHER: Amir Yasdanparast /MAKE-UP ARTIST : Karen Chou Tiam MODEL FELICIA SIBANDA / PHOTOGRAPHER: Amir Yasdanparast /MAKE-UP ARTIST : Karen Chou Tiam

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Fanny had just moved from Paris to Toronto in 2013.

INSIDE CUBE: Lu Chau and Amir Yasdanparast She wanted to have aPHOTOGRAPHERS fresh start in Canada.

She was ALISON AND NIIA DRESSES: inspired by the street fashion of Parisians while she • Make-up artist : Christ Eken resided in France. The fashionable streets ofXavier ParisNexell are • Photographer: like reality runways, and it is• inModel: that kind setting RuthyofMboule where she wanted her clothes creations to be found.

Moving to Canada did not change that focus. Her SUMMER//ANNIVERSARY 2018 motto remains the same, make clothes, incorporating

SMJ MAGAZINE

By Andrew Terry Pasieka

Let us go back to our inaugural issue five years ago when the editor-in-chief wrote about “The Arts and Fashion.”

At the beginning of the article, Hippocrates, the Greek father of medicine who lived almost 2500 years ago, was quoted as saying, ‘life is short and art is long.’ He was referring to the fact that man creates art but his creation is still around long after the artist is dead.

Aristotle was born about 15 years before the creator of the Hippocratic Oath died. Among his unparalleled legacy of thought, Aristotle had a stream of traditional philosophy called Mimesis, which leads us to another saying about art. This philosophy holds that one thought can come out of another, resulting in imitation or mimicry. Such is the phrase ‘art imitates life.’

Like most people, we here at SMJ Magazine can feel held back by an elongated winter. It is just a mood thing, but sometimes we are prevented from moving ahead on a project because we seem to have an absence of energy. It is not a coincidence that the re-awakening of nature that comes with advent of spring can bring about our re-invigoration. It got this writer thinking that rebirth is encapsulated by the colors that come out in spring, and is often captured in art. Then came the

thought that the creative spark which artists have at the moment they conceive their latest work mimics that of our Creator when He allows the renaissance of spring to commence.

Our story in was initially going to examine the connection between the creative process of visual artists and the rites of spring. Upon further thought, we come back to the above two phrases. Put in proper order, we can first say that ‘art imitates life’ because artists create art out of their experiences in life, and then ‘life is short and art is long’ because the art lives on in that moment of creation long after the artist has moved on and died. In a deeper sense, we appreciate art because it can also express views on political topics and social issues of the day.

To try and get a handle on all these theories, we thought it best to tour a number of visual art locations in Mississauga, the city we live. We discovered that each location interprets art in a different way, based on how visual art is presented at that location. SMJ started with the first place that anyone who wants to see visual art would think to go. The Art Gallery of Mississauga aims to showcase art which speaks to the city’s diversity, the politics of our times, and the issues of the day by means of contemporary Canadian and international artists. A

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current exhibition called “seeping upward, rupturing the surface” seems to be a direct interpretation of the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements by showing women’s emotions through movement and color, and women’s bodies in an act of defiance and resistance emoting the ‘sad girl theory.’

Another event at AGM is Mariam Magsi’s “Dowry” which illustrates by finite, snapshots of a single point in time, a continuum or a spectrum of emotion. Traditional items which depict functions of gender subordination are displayed on a woman’s head or wrapped around her body which shows the balancing act that modern South Asian women have to maintain in holding to traditional customs of marriage while living in a western society where women have opportunities to be empowered and no longer encumbered by these limitations.

Down the street at the Living Arts Centre, the Resident Artist Program speaks to the cultural and lifestyle diversity of our times. It offers eight studios in ceramics, textiles, flame works, glassworks, jewelry, wood, paints, and photography to art and design graduates and midcareer artists. These studios allow for a collaborative process in a multi-disciplinary environment. We saw firsthand men and women of various age groups, representing Canada’s ‘multicultural’ mosaic, working side by side in complimentary projects representing more than one of these crafts.

These first two locations were more about the artist.

The next two I visited were more about those who appreciate art. Crescent Hill Gallery is situated in the Design Centre in Mississauga’s west end. It was built as a one-stop shopping destination for home décor. The Gallery opened in downtown Toronto about 35 years ago, and moved to the Design Centre about a decade ago. Its concept is summed up in the spacing: open to discovery. The Gallery is large and roomy, divided into many sections with various open doorways throughout, thereby allowing visitors to navigate their own tour. The people who come to Crescent Hill Gallery may work in the area and come for a lunch time retreat; others may have just moved into the area and are curious; still others are prospective buyers. The Gallery’s goal is to feature Canadian artists with a mixture of international artists that appeal to their audience.

We were given a tour by Julia Marcello, who is in charge of positioning all the pieces throughout the Gallery. Julia is a photography graduate who has expanded her field of 16

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interest with this position. She pointed out themes in the work; for example Harold Braul’s ‘Commuter Series’ which shows the innocence of people from all over the world just out walking to various destinations. This was a chilling reminder of what was happening at the time of the Toronto van attack earlier this spring. Then there was the theme of light, so realistically displayed by Cyril Cox, and the vividness of colors, which bring an uplifting of spirit, much like what spring does, and so clearly illustrated

by Marie Claude Boucher. So what about visual art and spring? Is there a connection? Julia says, “I can justify that argument being made. Spring is a renaissance of light and color, and you can see that inspiration in the works of Cox and Boucher.”

The other audience focused location was Bradley Museum.

It had an exhibition featuring very different artists entitled ‘Voice of the Engraver.’ This Bank of Canada-sponsored showcase displays the various crafts of artists employed by the Government of Canada in creating bank notes

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and stamps. The display highlights the stages of artistry that goes into making these unique, publiclycirculated pieces of Canadian history, whenever money transactions are made and whenever stamps are used for mailing.

There is an interesting irony, in that one of the great pitfalls visual artists always have to watch out for is forgery of their creation. The engravers have to build anti-forgery security into the art that goes into making paper bills and stamps. The decision of what art to create or re-create is not entirely in the hands of artists; often the public suggests what scenes or people will be featured, or the government commissions the artists.

Another interesting aspect of this art is that it is often put together in a layered format, once again for security.

Scott Foster, Museum Interpreter and Guide, knows the audience that comes to Bradley for very different reasons than would go to Crescent Hill. Their appreciation of the art behind exhibitions like the one we viewed is more universal and less commercial, more hands on and less arm’s length.

Finally, we wind up at the south end of Mississauga, near Lake Ontario in Port Credit, and talk to husband and wife co-owners Marcelo and Gloria Pazan of Pazan Gallery. They have been operating the Gallery for seven years now and this is their second location. Marcelo comes from a visual and performing arts background. He paints in acrylic and oil, and also does 3D paintings. He has a diploma in Computer Graphics and spent 17 years as a graphic designer at the Toronto Star.

Pazan Gallery was conceived as a studio gallery for local artists to come in and showcase their product, but over the years, picture framing and then photo restoration were added. It has evolved into a service store, and wife Gloria, with over 30 years working in retail and skills in accounting and marketing, is a big help here.

However, art is still front and center. “Art is like a language,” Marcelo says, “and can be translated a number of ways.” Gloria sees art as therapeutic. By helping a customer choose a right piece of art, or

get some art they have brought in serviced to their satisfaction, “it can be a mood changer; it can lift you out of the doldrums.”

Marcelo adds, “so many people are caught up in their day-to-day activities, and we as artists are able to reconnect with their feelings. People can appreciate art visually using their eyes, with their mind’s eye on a deeper level, or from some place of darkness to some place of light for a psychological release.”

This seems to be an appropriate place to conclude.

Marcelo neatly summarizes why we enjoy visual arts or why we go to galleries and the like that we visited, or why we buy pieces of art to take home for the continual enjoyment that comes out of their continued viewings.

These pieces of visual art will be there for future generations to enjoy long after we are gone.

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By Andrew Terry Pasieka

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Dengiyefa Akene started his musical journey at the back of the stage, playing drums. He was influenced by his sister’s husband, who is a nationally known gospel singer.

“I always looked up to him, and I always wanted to be a singer,” says Dengi, as he is known, so his musical aspirations were clear.

It wasn’t until he became a worship leader about four years ago in his local church in Hamilton, Ontario, that Dengi’s dreams start being realized. About a year later he started writing songs. He now has over 80, with 10 of them being published. The first was the single River of Worship in 2016, and then the 5-song EP YOUR LOVE, and two singles Get Back Up and God’s Got Me Covered followed in 2017. And at the end of April this year, SMJ was at the Lincoln Alexander Centre in downtown Hamilton, for the video and single release of YAHWEH. Dengi says that YAHWEH comes from the same place as all of his compositions; daily experiences or life struggles. He had just come home dead tired from a birthday party, but decided to go downstairs and fool around on his keyboard. All of a sudden the words came to him, and he had the song written in five minutes. Dengi usually looks up the scriptural reference to his songs, but this time he thought there was something special about the lyrics. He was shocked to find that the words in Revelation 1: 8 nearly matched word-for-word what he had written!

“I am the Alpha and the Omega, says the Lord God, who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty.”

It is not a scripture that Dengi has read much beforehand, and that is the point of this song: Dengi does not want to connect just with church-going Christians, but those who are wrestling with their

faith or back-sliding Christians who have stopped being regular attenders. His message is simple: “Yahweh talks about who God is, and what everyone may be wondering about God, in words that everyone can relate to.”

Everyone can also relate to the fact that most young performing artists are not relying solely on their craft for several years after they start their careers. Dengi started a t-shirt company called Fearless Worshipper on the side, once again, reaching out to those who have fallen away from the church, or those who are curious but reluctant to start attending. He also has a love of food, and opened his own restaurant. It lasted for a short period of time until he had a life-altering experience.

Just as he was graduating from high school, his mother noticed that Dengi was drinking a lot of water. The decision was made to go to the hospital when the drinking really became excessive. There the family found out that Dengi had symptoms of malaria and was Type 1 Diabetic. His blood sugar count was sky high, and Dengi’s mother was kept out of the emergency room while the doctors worked on what was becoming a life-and-death situation. Oblivious to all this was Dengi himself, who had his headphones on and was listening to gospel music. Later the doctors told his mother that they marveled that Dengi was able to pull through but attributed his survival to the calmness he displayed because of the music playing in his head. Dengi commented:

“ That experience gave me the chills.

Music not only saved my life but it has kept me busy the past few years instead of being in the street doing things I shouldn’t be doing. It made me stay focused on what God has called me to do.”

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Dengi describes himself as a passionate person, not only about God, his gift of music, his wife and daughter, but about life and people in general. It showed when he took the stage for a 45-minute set at the Lincoln Alexander. After the opening number, he asked the audience, “you wouldn’t mind if I worshipped a bit?” and then launched into an exquisite cover version of William McDowell’s Take me to that Secret Place, featuring beautiful solos by Geoff Bell on cello and Jonathan Morris on piano. His voice just soared over his competent dual female backup singers and band (the DNA Project) on You have Won the Victory, The set closed with the viewing of the YAHWEH video. Clocking in at around ten minutes, the video illustrated the very touching comradery in the recording studio among all the participants, both in front of and behind the microphone.

It was also mentioned that evening that YAHWEH would be going immediately into regular rotation on the GTA Christian contemporary and gospel radio station Joy 1250 AM. In addition, Dengi’s music is now being played in England and Nigeria, and he will be supporting the latter with a radio and TV tour of Nigeria in August of 2018.

There is no doubt that Dengiyefa Akene and his music are on the rise, and after his recent health scare, he is definitely the namesake of his t-shirt company, Fearless Worshipper. To find out more about Dengiyefa Akene, go to: www.dengiefagospelmusic.com

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In 2018, we live in a world that seems smaller than ever, as diverse races, religions, cultures and lifestyles live in close proximity to one another. We are witnesses to the rise of movements that had no label or name a generation or two ago: LGBTQ, #MeToo, #TimesUp, and phrases that didn’t exist a decade or two ago: politically correct, fake news, Islamophobia. In the midst of this, governments are falling over themselves recognizing movements, raising flags, walking in parades, or apologizing for their past misdeeds or non-recognition.

In Canada, before the arrival of all the movements, before the use of all the phrases, before the belated recognitions, before the apologies, and as a by-product of all the broken First Nation treaties, there were residential schools. These two words do not sound fearsome, but they are the epitome of our national shame and the blackest mark in our history.

In the past few years, it was generally thought by both Canadian critics and artists that the most exquisite treatment of this sensitive subject was Secret Path by the late Gord Downie of the Tragically Hip, the award-winning trifecta graphic novel-studio album-animated television film about Chanie Wenjack, a 12year old Anishinaabe boy from the Marten Falls First Nation who died in 1966 while trying to return home after escaping from a residential school. However, another candidate has emerged, one with the bold claim in its marquee advertisement that “every Canadian should see Indian Horse.” That assertion is not far from the truth.

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Indian Horse comes to us from Richard Wagamese, who tragically is no longer around to see his award-winning 2012 novel of the same name become this both brutal and beautiful film, having passed away at age 61 last year during production of the project. Hollywood icon Clint Eastwood added considerable heft by becoming Executive Producer, and he hired his personal favorite director Stephen Campanelli to helm the production. Shot entirely in Ontario, Indian Horse has already resonated across Canada, having won the People’s Choice Awards in separate festivals in Vancouver, Calgary, and Edmonton.

This movie tells the story of Saul Indian Horse, one of 150,000 First Nation children who were forcibly removed from their families and placed in Christian-run schools, to be turned into facsimiles of white society, from language (English or French), to culture to religion. This practice commenced sometime after an amendment to the Indian Act in 1884, and inexplicably continued until 1996.

Indian Horse is a drama in three acts. Saul is played by three different actors, who portray him as a 6-7 year old boy, a mid to late teenager, and an early to mid-20s young man. The time frame of two decades spans from the late 1950s to the late 1970s.

Picture if you will these three scenes, and you begin to understand the demons preying on this innocent character. An old man, the boy’s great-grandfather, brings out this huge, sleek black, seemingly mythical beast out of the forest that he calls ‘horse’ to his tribe. Saul’s tribe is the Mishiikenh, a fish clan of the northern Ojibwa. The same young boy witnesses unprovoked cruelty, physical and sexual abuse, and is a victim of it himself at the residential school known as St. Jerome. And lastly, this same boy immediately grasps the mental strategy and the physical requirements of a game brought to the school called hockey.

Therein lays the dilemma at the heart of Indian Horse. Saul carries inside him a desperate responsibility to retain his heritage and his identity. Saul also has a desperate need to escape the systematic removal “of the world I had known by an ominous black cloud.” And finally, Saul develops a desperate desire to conquer this game “in order to endure everything else.” This dilemma at the outset seems to have defeated Saul. The movie opens with a hungover, dispirited man hunched over in a circle of ‘victims’ in what appears to be a rehabilitation center. The young adult voiceover of Saul says,

“They said I should tell my story. But you can’t understand where you are going if you don’t understand where you’ve been.”

We are taken back in time to the boy, his grandmother and parents paddling in two canoes on an unknown river in northern Ontario, taking Saul and his older brother back to their ancestral land to escape the residential school officials who are looking for them. They make it to their destination, but a series of tragedies results in

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young Saul being captured and brought to St. Jerome. The horrors of the school are well documented in a series of quick cuts and scenes, so by the time young Saul (Sladen Peltier) asks Father Gaston (Michel Huisman) what is it they are building and he is told “an ice rink…for skating…and hockey,” he is open to any kind of escape.

Happily, Saul is a natural at the game, and despite his age, is soon the best player at St. Jerome. He is allowed to be on the school team even though there is an age restriction, and by the time he is a teenager, Saul’s reputation as a star is established. The adolescent Saul (Forrest Goodluck) has an opportunity to leave St. Jerome for Manitouwadge and play for the town’s team called the Moose, and be billeted by a family there. So begins the second act of Indian Horse.

Saul has freedom he hasn’t known since he was taken away from his family, but the stakes are higher too. Playing other towns eventually grows to accepting challenges from communities in the south, and many of them all white teams. The taunts Saul experienced at the beginning escalate to threats and then to beatings, and a new black cloud emerges. Suddenly this sport that Father Gaston called ‘God’s game’ is seen for what it is. Still, Saul holds out hope. After one particular garish night, a teammate bitterly remarks, “it’s their game, not ours.” Saul shoots back, “they play for the same feeling we do. Nobody owns that.”

The GM makes one last plea. “Saul, if you get through this everything changes…you’ll be a role model for your kind… this is your way out…the way to a better life” By now Saul realizes what the game really is. The higher he goes, both the better and the worse it will get. “You have no idea about my kind…there is no better life for me…there never will be.”

So begins Saul’s inevitable drunken downhill spiral that takes us back to the start of the picture. The counsellor in that rehab center asks, “Have you ever wept Saul? Your silence is killing you.” And so Saul returns…to St. Jerome… to his ancestral home on that northern lake. He found his tears on that shoreline, where a 6 year old boy lost his older brother, and saw his parents paddle away with his brother’s body, never to be seen again.

Saul is still somewhat open to continue this journey, and the movie moves into its third act. The young adult Saul (Ajuawak Kapashesit) is recruited by Jack Cunningham, General Manager of the Toronto Monarchs, a fictitious Toronto Marlie-like farm team of the Toronto Maple Leafs. He is now one step away from ‘the Show—the NHL.’ At first he is reluctant to go because of the discrimination he has already experienced, but the son of his billeted family makes an impassioned argument. “I’m 26. I’ve been workin’ graveyards in this frickin’ mine since I was 16 years old. You have to give it shot…for all of us.”

Saul goes to the big city and averages two points per game, but now has to contend with the discrimination of his own teammates as well as that of the other teams and the fans. He finally has had enough. Cunningham meets with Saul in the movie’s pivotal scene to convince him to hang on.

Cunningham tries his best lines. “Every kid dreams of this moment.” Saul retorts, “I had dreams once. I don’t have them anymore.”

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MeNtaL iLLnESs: ToO CLoS

By Nakeisha Geddes

Mental Illness can affect us in many forms and in most cases, it can lie unidentified or undetected for years. SMJ Magazine is once again bringing awareness and the importance of why self-care is important to your well-being.

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One in three people are struggling with mental illness and research has shown that women are 40% more likely than men to have mental illness. This statistic is extremely disturbing due to the fact that women are generally the main caregivers in the family.

Some of the main factors that contribute to women’s mental health are discrimination, stressful life experiences and trauma. Note that trauma has been deemed the main cause since more than half of all women have experienced some form of it during their life, such as sexual assault or domestic violence. Something important to consider is most women do not seek help for their traumatic experiences due to fear, stigma or the unawareness of the long-term effects. Too many women are functioning daily with mental illness. As care-givers women juggle many tasks and their expectations have increased over the years with the high demands of society. As a woman and care-giver, I must point out that it is important to understand you are not functioning at your best and other family members are affected.

In recent years mental illness is on the rise, as some studies as shown that individuals who were born in the 1980s and early 1990s are more likely to experience anxiety and depression. However, data collations on mental illness weren’t as good even 20 years ago as it is today, so that has

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to be factored into the trend. Nevertheless, many celebrities and public figures have been brave enough to share their experience in order to help others. More and more influential people are stepping out to speak their truth surrounding their experience with mental illness. We are surrounded by people who are struggling with mental illness daily and most of the time it is undetected until something drastic happens.

When a person is experiencing mental illness it feels as if their life is out of control, because it affects their thoughts, feelings, behaviours as well as how they interact with others and self. In SMJ Magazine Spring 2016 edition Mrs. Margaret Trudeau (wife of former Prime Minister Pierre Elliott Trudeau) chronicled her story about the stigma she experienced when she was diagnosed with bi-polar, postpartum depression and mania. Society has placed high expectations on leaders and they struggle to keep up due to the demands of public life.

In recent years, GTA MP Celina Caesar-Chavannes and Toronto Raptors’ star Lemar DeRozen have revealed their susceptibility to this disease.

There have been high increases in mental illness among children, teens and young adults, and one of the main factors is the stressful environments that they are being raised in.

Remember your children mirror you and inherit many of your behaviors; this includes how you manage your daily lives. You are the best example and reflection of who they will become.

The theory of taking care of self first before you take care of others is so important; in fact this should not be just a theory but a way of life. Developing healthy living habits is important and can help to manage mental illness or the onset of it. Your lifestyle can plays a significant part in your mental illness care and it also improves how you function in your daily environments. It is also imperative to develop awareness to the signs of mental illness and seek help as well as develop strategies that will help you daily to work at your purposeful and powerful best.

Every year May is designated mental illness month and it’s a time for us to pause and reflect on the seriousness around it. SMJ Magazine has been committed over its issues to spread the awareness. The most recent article prior to this one came in our Winter 2017 edition (Issue No. 16). In preparation for their Truth symposium, Cheryl-Ann Philip stated there was room for both prayer and medicine as a remedy.

“I believe that when there is a physiological condition is it needful to seek medical help. However, it does not mean that one cannot still pray about the condition. I believe that prayer and medicine can work together as they both play an important role in recovery depending on the nature of the condition.”

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YOUR

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is your

By Dr. Lisa Ramsackal

Returning next issue

They Could They Did AND

By Shelley Jarrett

“We are two people who are really happy and in love.” (Meghan Markle to Vanity Fair)’ The wedding of Meghan Markle and Prince Harry proves that progress over racial adversity can find interesting platforms. Certainly the biracial heritage of Markle started the conversation, but there were many spots during the ceremony that kept up the interracial buzz.

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Paramount was the sermon by the first Black presiding bishop of the American Episcopalian Church, the Most Rev. Michael Bruce Curry. There was also a Black gospel choir, a Black male solo cellist, a female Black scripture reader, and celebrity guests like Oprah Winfrey and Serena Williams.

A somewhat hidden fact is interracial background of the Royal Family themselves. This type of wedding has happened before. The present Queen’s great-greatgreat-grandmother Queen Charlotte was married to King George III for 57 years and evidence showed she was directly descended from Margarita de Castro y Sousa, a Black division of the Portuguese Royal House.(Source: The Atlanta Blackstar.com) Meghan Markle is actually the first African American woman to marry into the royal family in 257 years.

Another ironic bit of trivia was the fact that this bi-racial girl from California USA found true love in England.

Some 20 years earlier Meghan had crossed path with her destiny when she visited Britain and posed for pictures outside Buckingham Palace. Who would have thought the privileged family who lived there would one day be her in-laws?!

Most media outlets started setting up in the picturesque village of Windsor one week prior and provided six hours of live coverage on the big day. Prince Harry and his brother Prince William were first to arrive, but all eyes were glued on Meghan Markle as she stepped out of that burgundy Rolls Royce. It was adorable to see Ben and Jessica Mulroney’s twin sons jump out of the vehicle to hold up the bride’s train.

It was so refreshing and unique to see the wedding party a combination of six flower girls and four page boys. The only adult was Prince William as Harry’s best man. We were particularly taken with Meghan’s mother Doria Ragland.

The mother displayed grace and elegance throughout the entire ceremony. Cameras were fixated on her and she was often overflowing with tears. This became one of the most genuinely moving parts of the royal wedding.

picked from Diana’s memorial garden. Harry has said that if his mom was still alive that his wife and mother would be best friends.

Last but not least, we have to say something about The Dress. It was simple but glamorously elegant, designed by the first female head of The House of Givenchy, Clare Waight Keller. We want to especially mention the detail in the long train representing the fifty three commonwealth states.

This will probably be the last significant royal wedding in a generation. We at SMJ Magazine feel very fortunate to have been alive to witness history in the making.

After the ceremony ended, the happy couple wound two miles through the streets of Windsor in a horse drawn carriage in front of one hundred thousand spectators.

Two final thoughts we want to share. Prince Harry’s mother, Princess Diana, was part of the day. There was a special reading by Princess Diana’s sister. Some of the jewels in Meaghen’s engagement ring came from Diana’s collection.

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SMJ: How did you start in business?

KN: Essentially I have always worked in executive positions for big corporations in the city…always managing large teams and helping businesses to startup. Whatever a CEO needed to be done I was able to fulfil those tasks. This all started way back in high school, I was always the president of the school council. I have been able to understand the many aspects of getting an organization started, like marketing and advertising campaigns, I was even at one point doing architecture, helping to develop new buildings and site considerations,. I did this for approximately 10 years.

I CAN & I WILL

By Shelley Jarrett

Kym Niles is an ambitious young woman wants to spread the message of ‘Self Love.’ She plans to take this inspired program along with youth wellness and empowerment internationally. She believes in order to find yourself or your purpose it will be in service you provide to others.

It was on this premise that SMJ Magazine wanted to find out more.

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SMJ: What motivated you to start what you are doing now? What was the inspiration behind this?

KN: I got to a place where I felt frustrated, I wasn’t valued, I was put in a space where I had to embrace company values, which I felt were unethical to a degree. So I started my coaching business, deciding I needed to work on my legacy. My greatest thrill or motivation comes from the need to keep moving. My formula is from X to Y by when?! What date are we working towards?! These types of questions are the ones I go through with my clients.

SMJ: What is I can and I will?

KN: It is actually I can and I will make your Mark.

It is all about self-mastery, conditioning the mind, something that can work for you; accountability strategies. Right now I am focused on Black female entrepreneurs who are trying to move their business from A to B, I try to narrow things idown and put them on the right path.

SMJ: Who are the girls that you mentor? What is there background and what it is they are trying to achieve?

KN: Some of the challenges are some women just don’t know how to get started. Some struggle with personal relationships, they don’t understand how to move forward. For example with couples, I find out that the other spouse is not involved enough to understand what his wife is going through.

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Sometimes the wife is not communicating enough to let him know about the support she needs. Sometimes it’s just a lot of conflict; I find I have to do a lot of intervention before couples come to understand each other.

I help younger girls with building self-confidence and their self-esteem. My job is to explain to them how to find balance in their lives; for example you cannot party the night before and get to work on time and be100% productive. You have to learn how to make tough decisions, like giving up the crowd today knowing that the crowd would be there tomorrow.

Another big area is networking. I tell my clients if you are not telling one person a day about your business, then you are not in business. You see people every day, everywhere give your card out.

SMJ: Tell me about the self-love program.

KN: Part of being strength and conditioning coach is to keep people moving. I came up with the idea of how to get the youths in our community involved and how to empower them to be strong through fitness and use it for both mental and physical health.

In order to do this I developed a paradigm which helps to support a not-for profit group that I have which is “self-love” youth wellness and empowerment. We purchased an afro head which represents “keep your head up.”

This line was designed with the concept, that if you are not feeling your best self you can wear your favorite hoody or ‘head’ so you feel good about yourself, also you look in the mirror and it shows positive reinforcement looking back at you.

SMJ: Tell me about your upcoming retreat/workshop in Jamaica.

KN: Last November I organized a retreat in Jamaica and it was very successful and the women really loved it.

After reflecting on how successful it was, I realized how the women needed time away for themselves. It was a time to get unplugged. We had self-confidence workshops, activities to help them tap into their mental strength.. Something they never envisioned they could do until they got there and had to follow through, like for example climb the Dunns River Falls. The message

I wanted to relay at this retreat is that sometimes you are the one stopping you. . A lot of things are mind over matter. So from the retreat and all the feedback it led us to a program called Envision. Envision meets quarterly, and is where women are engaged to do vision boards, discussions on mental health, nutrition and much more.

SMJ thanked Kym Niles for an informative dialogue. She has two closing statements: “You will be born looking like your parents, but will die looking like your decisions.” My personal mantra is “to leave you better than I met you.”

If you would like to contact Kym on any of these programs Email to: info@selfloveyouth.com info@icanandiwill.ca Website: www.selfloveyouth.com or www.icanandiwill.ca

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THE GREENING OF NIKOLE BÉLANGER

By Andrew Terry Pasieka she made the decision to become vegetarian. About the same time, two other decisions were made. Nikole began to recognize her spiritual connection to the environment and to people. She could see herself as a young woman “going on missionary work in Africa with Cardinal Paul Emile Leger.” Her religion was outside the four walls of any church, in the environment and, as she says, “in action.”

She also declared to her mother that she wanted to change her name from ‘Nicole.’ She wrote her name over and over, but when she wrote ‘Nikole with a K,’ “that was it for me.”

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Our first meeting with Nikole Bélanger had nothing to do with SMJ Magazine. But our connection was so strong, that we were convinced we had to hear Nikole’s story.

Nikole’s has had a passion for the environment since she was a child. Nikole suffered from health issues early in her life. She was diagnosed with an extreme case of anemia and asthma. She received a number of discouraging diagnoses from the doctors including a recommendation that she needed to go to a solarium. Her mother did not have the money for a solarium, so she decided to send Nikole out to the Québec countryside to live on her aunt and uncle’s farm.

Nikole remembers that she was holding on tightly to her little pink suitcase and was glued to the back seat of the car for the entire trip. Her aunt welcomed her with love and taught her to live off the land by planting, harvesting and eating organically. Nikole’s health improved enough that she could go back home in less than a year, but returned to spend the next several summers on the farm. Everyone has an Angel in their life and she was Nikole’s.

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This experiences from that life-changing event led Nikole to realize the fundamental importance of the environment and how it can be a positive influence in one’s life. That is why

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Nikole’s entrepreneurial spirit took over when she started cutting hair in her local neighborhood for a couple of dollars. From her late teens to her late twenties, Nikole pursued a highly successful career as a model. During this time, Nikole attended McGill University and pursued a Bachelor of Arts degree and later Fashion Design & Haute Couture from University of Montréal. Her strong work ethic led to a position as a Buyer and Supervisor Manager for high end boutiques in Montréal - one of the first women to do so. She opened her first Boutique and was ten years as owner and president of Nikobelli Inc. (a Prêt-à-Porter Boutique offering personalized consultation services for mid high management female professionals). She added a small collection “Private Label” for her clients.

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Nikole sold her business in 1990 and moved to Toronto with her then husband and daughter and infant son.

Nikole became the co-owner and VP of Marketing and International Sales with her husband in Transmission/ Distribution Technologies, a jarring career change. For seven years she worked and travelled, ensuring that her children received education in a French School to keep up that side of their cultural background and heritage.

By the end of the decade Nikole was divorced and lost practically everything except her children. She took work posting off the community calendar boards that were placed in grocery stores, making sure that she would not be running into former clients or people that knew some of her former clients. She started to network, going to every networking event she thought appropriate, and followed up with every contact and every business card within two months. Eventually she started her own company targeting telecommunications sector and

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founded a non-profit Organization called WIN ( Women’s International Network). She began in her dining room, and soon expanded to many cities. After seven years men were included. WIN became “World Interpersonal Network” and has operated for 14 years. During this challenging period, Nikole received two signs from God that she was on the right path. “He gave me inner strength to do this, and He also told me, Nikole, you are enough!”

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WIN has four monthly meetings in downtown Toronto, Oakville, Milton, and Richmond Hill. Nikole says that WIN has recouped the million she lost after her divorce in ways that cannot be counted by dollar bills.

“WIN took the place of a psychiatrist, and that really saved my spirit.”

At the same time, Nikole has stayed true to her main cause. Nikole is a passionate environmentalist, who works at developing awareness and action on environmental sustainability along with climate change concerns. Her knowledge on environmental technology and strong networking abilities are key in providing strong interpersonal services with a priority and emphasis on green technology and sustainable living. Nikole Bélanger is the CEO of NIKOBEL Solutions. The “O” in Nikobel shows a circle of water with a leaf at the bottom, standing for infinity and the environment.

Nikole’s focus has been on raising awareness of environmental issues and showing people how they can enrich their business and lives through the benefits of ecocentric solutions. She says,

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“We are currently experiencing a transformative time with respect to our economy, our environment.

We recognize the need for unity and our vision is to create alliances that not only impact each other, but also the future of our planet.”

Nikole is also Official Canadian presenter for Mr. Al Gore through The Climate Reality Project. Her involvement with Mr. Gore goes back to 2007, but she feels she has had a life affinity with him. It was reinforced when she saw his documentary on farming. Then she saw him in person…

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“Just from walking on the stage, in his black cowboy boots, I felt his passion in every step. He was doing exactly what he was supposed to be doing.”

To follow up with the todays demand on a paperless society, Nikole now has “WIN GREEN Online” offering all her materials plus live interviews with amazing green professionals and a green Leaders Directory for people who care for our planet and want to be part of the change. A new initiative of NIKOBEL Solutions are GREEN SCHOOLS GREEN FUTURE, an international nonprofit organization that raises funds to support their vision of self-sustaining schools built on green technology and that develop a cycle of education, trades, and farming in developing communities. Nikole is adamant that green is the way of the future for survival.

You can reach Nikole Belanger by going to: www.nikobel.solutions - info@nikobel.solutions www.wingreen.online - info@wingreen.online www.greenschoolsgreenfuture.org info@greenschoolsgreenfuture.org

Nikole Bélanger is doing the same.

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When you are seeking a deep committed relationship, the last thing you want is to be inundated with proposals for casual hookups.

People want what they want, and while casual relationships are perfectly fine for people who want them, someone who wants a serious connection will be disappointed being part of a shallow fling. Online dating has been wonderful for single people who want either end of the spectrum; a casual relationship or a meaningful connection. Many dating sites exist for singles that are looking for soulmate connections. However, there is also an abundance of dating websites for individuals who want no strings attached connections.

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How to Tell if Someone is Looking for No Strings Attached Encounters

By Akua Hinds

SMJ MAGAZINE

Here are tips for figuring out if someone who you meet online is only interested in a casual hookup.

Profile Picture A person who is serious about being in a relationship will aim to represent themselves in the best possible light. The profile picture is the first thing that other members on a dating site will notice. If the profile that you are viewing online does not have a picture, or the picture does not feature the entire face, then that is not a good sign. You should at least know the true identity of someone who you are communicating with! Members who tend not to put a photo on the site have something to hide. They might be married or in a relationship and not want to risk having their partner discover their profile on a dating site. If someone is unwilling to share their face with you that is a sign that they will be unwilling to share other important parts of their life as well.

Missing Information on the Profile Dating site profiles have space for members to fill in information about who they are, what they value, and what they are seeking from a relationship. When the profile information is left blank, that is not a good sign. Someone who cannot even be bothered to complete the profile and share who they are and what they are looking for is someone who does not take dating seriously. Don’t even bother responding to someone whose communication skills are lacking. Conversations that launch from dating sites get started from whatever is listed in the profile. Someone who leaves the profile information section blank is already telling you that the process of getting to know someone is not a priority.

Inappropriate Questions Have you been asked personal questions about your body and your sexual preferences? These questions are not inappropriate if they are being asked by someone who knows you well, but a stranger who you meet on the Internet should not be broaching those subjects with you. If someone who you meet online is asking you to discuss things that make you blush, they clearly have a one track mind. Someone who wants to be in a serious relationship with you will be more tactful about when to bring up the topic.

If you are that Person If finding a hot fling is your main priority, then you should definitely disclose your intentions in your dating site profile.

Make it clear upfront that you want to meet someone who understands what you want and that you also want to be with someone who shares this type of interaction. When you are using dating websites to find a partner, treat others the way that you would want to be treated; disclose your intentions upfront, and be careful not to offend anyone with your preference. Aim to be friendly and transparent when you communicate with prospective partners.

Akua Hinds, journalist, actress, music performer & instructor, founder & marketing owner of dating sites www.InterracialDesires.net, www.RichSinglesDate.net, www.ChristianPartner.co Independent business owner at www.PureRomance.ca/AkuaHinds & www.PureRomance.com/ AkuaHinds.

Please visit www.AkuaHinds.com

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