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::NEWS&VIEWS DAVE ZYLSTRA

FEATURES | POLLS | TAKING LIBERTIES | ISSUE OF THE WEEK

Electric Scooters Have Arrived, But Are They Here to Stay? ::BY EVAN CASEY

lectric scooters arrived on the streets of Milwaukee the morning of Tuesday, July 23, just two weeks after the Milwaukee Common Council approved an electric scooter pilot program. Governor Tony Evers signed a bill regulating dockless electric scooters in Wisconsin just one day before Milwaukee’s pilot program was approved, allowing municipalities to control how they want to use the law. Milwaukee is choosing to regulate scooters through multiple conditions: no sidewalks, no Riverwalk riding and no parking scooters near a streetcar stop, among many others. Safe use of scooters is the message preached by aldermen and city officials, the police and even the scooter companies themselves. But will users follow these rules? Time will tell. All we do know is that the future of electric scooters in Milwaukee is uncertain as the pilot program expires at the end of this year. Ultimately, it’s up to city officials if scooters will stay or not.

4 | AUGUST 1, 2019

They’re Here The commissioner of the Department of Public Works (DPW) has control over which scooter companies can operate in the city under the pilot program. As of Monday, July 29, only Lime has scooters in the city after dropping off hundreds on July 23. However, two other scooter companies have applied—Bird and Spin. Neither have announced when or if they will operate in the city. Scooter companies can deploy 350 scooters anywhere in the city. But some companies could reach up to 750 if additional dockless scooters are equally distributed between specified zones. Lime was approved to deploy 500 scooters. Additional fleet expansions up to 1,000 scooters could be allowed as well, based on performance metrics during the pilot program. The 350 scooters can be placed in areas including much of the Downtown, Bay View, East Side, Bronzeville, Harambee and Brewers Hill neighborhoods. The additional zones encompass much of the rest of the city. A ride with Lime costs $1 to unlock the scooter and $0.25 per minute. The scooter tops off at 15 m.p.h.—the state’s scooter speed limit. Parking the scooters has been a concern for some in the city. The user must leave at least five feet of clear space on a sidewalk after they’re done with their ride. The city says scooters may be parked in the terrace zone or the space between the sidewalk and the street. However, scooters cannot be parked at or on parklets, loading zones, accessible parking spaces, curb ramps, entryways, driveways, street furniture requiring pedestrian access, transit stops including bus stops and streetcar stops, bridges or The Riverwalk. Users must also park the scooter upright and not block Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) access ramps. Parking near bike racks is advised by many scooter companies, including Lime. Users are also required to take a photo of their parking job when they are finished with their ride. If a scooter is improperly parked, the city says the operator must relocate the scooter within two hours during day operation (6 a.m.-10 p.m.). If the city is notified between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m., the scooters must be relocated by 8 a.m. If the operator does not do so and the city has to move it, the scooter company is fined $50. When asked how many employees Lime has on its Milwaukee team, a spokesperson replied with “a handful of individuals.” The pilot program says the scooter companies may decrease the number of scooters deployed during the winter, meaning Nov. 15 to Dec. 31, 2019, when the pilot program ends.

Scooters and the Sidewalk Sidewalk usage is one of the biggest concerns to many Milwaukee residents. Although only Alderman Mark Borkowski voted no on the pilot program, other aldermen are also skeptical of scooters running rampant on sidewalks. “Why would we put ourselves at risk when we know they [users] aren’t going to abide by the sidewalk?” asked Ald. Borkowski. “Quite frankly, it’s not an issue of if, it’s an issue of when.” “There has to be respect for the rights of pedestrians,” said Ald. Robert Bauman, who introduced the sidewalk riding amendment during a Common Council meeting. “We will really have to rely on the responsibility of scooter users.”

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WE NEED BUS DRIVERS AND YOU CAN HELP! When the Shepherd Express test rode the scooters in the first week, it found countless users abusing the no sidewalk rule. The Milwaukee Police Department (MPD) will ultimately be the enforcers of the rule, according to the DPW. The fine for riding on the sidewalk ranges from $20 to $40 for the first offense and $50 to $100 for the second offense. Some aldermen questioned if the MPD would enforce this rule at all, leading Donovan to abstain from voting on the program. He explained, “I think most everyone here is interested in embracing new ideas... but we also need to ensure public safety, and without the police even weighing in on it, I’m reluctant to vote on it.” When the Shepherd asked about enforcement, MPD released a statement: “We are requesting that all individuals who utilize motorized scooters obey the rules of the road and the City of Milwaukee Ordinances. It should be noted that Milwaukee police officers have the discretion to enforce ordinance violations. However, it is important that individuals make responsible decisions when utilizing scooters.” When asked if any MPD officers have given out citations yet, an MPD spokesperson did not respond. A spokesperson from Lime said the local team will also “patrol areas where sidewalk use is concerning…in partnership with the city.” “I would be surprised to see any tickets except in the case of a crash,” said Ald. Bauman, in response to the statement.

Many Modes of Transportation Proponents of electric scooters say they add another cheap and energy efficient way for citizens to get around the city. “We want this to be a city where there are many modes of transportation,” Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett said during a press conference that announced the statewide legislation in July. Ald. Tony Zielinski praised the scooters at the Common Council meeting that approved the pilot program, saying they’re a good way to get around the city. “We’re adding another means of transportation,” he said. “This is actually an opportunity for the city to generate revenue.” Operators have to pay the city to operate in the pilot program, including an occupancy fee of $50 for each dockless scooter. Add that to the money the city could make through fines and fees, which include an application fee of $300 and the $50 relocation fee. Additionally, the electric scooters are fast. A one-mile trip from the Public Market to the Milwaukee County Courthouse took around eight minutes to complete, costing around $3. However, construction—and a lack of bike lanes in certain parts of the city—do pose dangerous conditions for scooter riders.

Dockless? Other areas across the U.S. have also drafted “no sidewalk” rules, including San Antonio, Texas, Washington, D.C., and the entire state of California. Regarding the question of parking scooters

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improperly, companies like Charge, which offers charging stations for electric scooters, could help with safety. Their goal is to house approximately half of the available fleet of scooters in each city to keep them off the streets and sidewalks at no cost to municipalities. “A smart city isn’t going to be a smart city with 3,000 scooters thrown all over the sidewalks and streets,” said Andrew Fox, co-founder of Charge. “We support the dockless model, but our recommendation would be to use a combination of virtual and physical docks to address the problem so that the city can help everyday people navigate the city streets, while embracing the future of mobility.” As of now, most scooters are charged by “Scooter Chargers,” citizens who pick them up at the end of the day and charge them in their own homes, dropping them back off in the streets in the morning. When asked whether it would support initiatives like the one proposed by Charge, the Milwaukee DPW said the pilot program would help decide if they would use services like these. Atlanta is currently the only city using Charge.

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The Locals Weigh In Milwaukee citizens and business owners are split on how they feel about the scooters. Onesto, a restaurant in the Third Ward, has an outdoor patio on the sidewalk. According to manager Nathanial Koenig, when scooters first came to the city last summer, “The only issues we had was with parking.” Koenig said he hasn’t seen any problems with users riding through the sidewalk patio thus far. “I feel like with scooters, most people would go around [the patio] for the most part. I feel like now that it’s the second year its back, people understand the limitations. The more experienced people get with them the better off were going to be.” Hannah Lundgren, a manager at Broadway Paper, said sidewalk riding could be an issue for her business. Broadway Paper has two separate entrances and exits on a busy Third Ward corner. “There’s not really many bike lanes in the Third Ward area, so riding on the sidewalk might get interesting, especially on the weekends,” she said. Another individual who works in the Third Ward was concerned about pedestrians and felt that if the scooter company was also held responsible for its customers riding on the sidewalks in violation of the law and liable to face citations (along with the scooter riders), the company would educate its customers and pressure them to obey the laws. Otherwise, this person believes, these scooters will present an unnecessary danger to pedestrians as has been the case in other cities. Bryan Hecker, a Pewaukee resident riding a Lime scooter for the first time in the Third Ward, said he understands most of the regulations. “I was cautious about car doors opening suddenly and cautious of cars coming up behind me,” he said about his ride. “But I’m glad they got them back. As long as people are responsible with them, why not.” Comment at shepherdexpress.com n

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NEWS&VIEWS::FEATURE

A Tough Look at Wisconsin’s State Budget

Why do some Republican states take federal health care money but Wisconsin won’t? Even Republican states and Republican voters understand that, when billions of their taxpayer dollars are sent to Washington, D.C., they want their fair share back. This is especially true when it means lower health care premiums for everyone, more coverage for people in the state and extra money which could be used to fund special education, other health care initiatives and even roads in the state.

Former Senate Majority Leader Chuck Chvala speaks out ::BY LOUIS FORTIS

huck Chvala was the Democratic Wisconsin Senate majority leader from 1996 through 2002. He negotiated three biennial budgets with a Republican governor and a Republican-controlled Assembly in place during each of those budgets. For several years, he has provided the Democratic perspective in the WisPolitics “Insiders” podcast—first with former Republican state Sen. Ted Kanavas and, since Ted’s passing, with former Republican Assembly Speaker Scott Jensen. Chuck, you do a WisPolitics “Insiders” Podcast with former Assembly Speaker Scott Jensen where you discuss Wisconsin state government and elections. You created a lot of buzz saying that the most recent state budget was a disaster. Why did you take such a tough stance about the budget? I was trying to jump-start a conversation about how progressives, that would be most Democrats these days, can achieve policy objectives

in a world where Republicans have gerrymandered both the state Senate and Assembly in a way which makes it extraordinarily difficult for Democrats to have a majority in either house. I must admit you certainly succeeded in starting a conversation. You’re right that the deck is stacked against the Democrats. How could the Democratic side have acted any differently? Democrats need to combine the power of the governor’s office and the opportunity provided by a must-pass state budget in order for significant policy objectives to be achieved despite the recalcitrance of the Republicans. At the end of the day, elections aren’t just about winning, they’re about policies that make a difference in the lives of regular working people across the state. It seems as if you concede that Gov. Tony Evers was negotiating from a difficult position. Yes, Gov. Evers is very much in the same place at this point in his first term as Barack Obama was as president. Both President Obama and

What kind of financial loss in dollar terms does this mean for Wisconsin? Wisconsin has already lost more than $1 billion and is on pace to lose more than $300 million more. Chuck Chvala

Gov. Evers are statesmen committed to serving everyone, including conservatives. Both reached out to Republicans and tried to work with them. This did not work out in either case, because these Republicans are not normal Republicans; they are committed to ideological obstructionism, which prevents some great programs from being approved. So how did you see Obama pivot? President Obama learned that he would have to move forward without any help from Republicans. You may recall that U.S. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell infamously said that the Senate Republicans’ entire job was to keep Obama from being reelected. For example, to borrow a poker reference, President Obama went all-in on the Affordable Care Act (ACA), which passed without a single Republican vote. This provided health care for tens of millions of people and held down health care costs for the rest of us who have insurance. This was a great victory. You think Gov. Evers is learning a similar lesson? Yes; he is a very smart and capable guy, and I think he will pivot in his approach to the legislature. Unfortunately, these rightwing ideological Republicans will only respond to strength. So you think the Republicans are acting like bullies? Yes, and eventually you have to stand up to bullies. I expect that Gov. Evers now understands that the Republicans have no interest in working with him and will do anything to obstruct his agenda. Then how do you see Evers pivoting like Obama did? The most obvious issue is taking the federal health care money.

LISTE

6 | AUGUST 1, 2019

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There is a lot support for this. Yes; 70% of Wisconsinites said in a recent poll that they wanted Wisconsin to take the money. We are the only Big-10 state which does not take the federal health care money. We are the only state east of the Mississippi River (outside of the Deep South) that doesn’t take the federal health care money. Even Vice President Mike Pence’s Indiana and Mitch McConnell’s Kentucky take the federal health care money!

Why do you see Wisconsin stuck here? Republicans have this fantasy that they are going to roll back the ACA, which is becoming more popular every year. Even Donald Trump, with majorities in both houses of Congress, couldn’t make that happen. Former Gov. Scott Walker wanted to be the rightwing darling when he ran for president. He was willing to make all of Wisconsin suffer to achieve his political ambitions. By not accepting the federal health care money and allowing Wisconsin residents’ premiums to increase, Walker played it as cutting or rejecting an “entitlement” expansion. That’s big brownie points in rightwing donor circles. Both President Obama and Gov. Evers clearly recognize that, as the elected executive, they have an obligation to bring the country/state together. That leadership role is especially important given how divisive guys like Trump and Walker have been. In fact, that probably explains much of the reason for Gov. Evers deciding to sign a budget hoping to move forward in a positive way, establishing a far different tone than his predecessor, who was all about dividing the state into warring camps. By pushing forward more aggressively, wouldn’t Evers create more division between the Republicans and the Democrats? No, because Evers’ two signature issues, health care and education, are not divisive. In fact, 70% of the people of Wisconsin support taking the federal health care money, and 74% support a dramatic increase in special education funding. In the divided country and state we have now, that is as close to public unanimity as you can get. Clearly, support extends well beyond Democrats and independents well into moderate Republican Party turf. So, what’s stopping this from happening? The only thing that stands in the way of these policies are rightwing ideologues in the legislature who have been emboldened by their gerrymandered districts. I believe that Gov. Evers taking on the extreme right in the legislature on behalf of those 70-74% of Wisconsinites who support these policies will be seen as an act of statesmanship and leadership in an effort to unite around common goals and shared values. Comment at shepherdexpress.com. SHEPHERD EXPRESS

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NEWS&VIEWS::TAKINGLIBERTIES

Trump’s Hateful Rhetoric Echoes Our Darkest History

onald Trump wasn’t just trying to please racist supporters by telling dark-skinned Democratic congresswomen to go back where they came from. He also was hoping to turn Jewish voters against the Democrats by accusing two Muslim congresswomen of anti-Semitism. It won’t work. Jewish voters recognize bigotry in all its forms. That includes Trump’s policies slamming the door on non-white immigrants and his hateful rhetoric telling black and brown folks they’re not wanted here. Jews were told throughout history they didn’t belong either, even in the lands where they were born. Like most Americans, I wasn’t taught anything in school about the S.S. St. Louis. I learned that shameful story by visiting the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum. The St. Louis was a German ocean liner carrying more than 900 Jewish refugees fleeing the Holocaust in 1939. The passengers had transit visas for Cuba where they intended to wait until U.S. visas were approved. But Cuba refused to let the ship dock. Instead, the ship waited offshore from Florida as passengers cabled President Franklin Roosevelt pleading for asylum. At that ugly time, polls showed two-thirds of Americans opposed accepting Jewish refugees. The State Department ultimately turned them away, telling them to go to the back of a mythical waiting line. After Canada also turned them away, the St. Louis returned to Europe where several countries accepted passengers. But many were later rounded up during Nazi occupation. Historians estimate a quarter of the original passengers died in concentration camps. Throughout the war, the U.S. barred thousands of Jewish refugees, claiming national security fears they could be German spies. Making up for sins during the war, international protections for refugees were established in 1951. President Jimmy Carter increased annual U.S. admission of refugees to 50,000 in 1980. Trump is contemptuous of refugees from Central America seeking asylum with their children from gang violence and life-threatening poverty. Trump calls asylum claims a scam, implying Latinos are all lying, dangerous criminals. He’s slashed refugee admissions to 30,000 per year and may cut admissions to zero next year as a special pre-election promotion.

Caging the Children

Trump advertises his racism by using the verb “infest” to describe large numbers of black and brown people entering the U.S. That’s how he defended the massive caging of children after his cruel family separation policy. Trump blamed Democrats. “They don’t care about crime and want illegal immigrants, no matter how bad they may be, to pour into and infest our Country,” Trump tweeted. 8 | AUGUST 1, 2019

::BY JOEL MCNALLY

Trump knows nothing about history, so he probably didn’t plagiarize The Eternal Jew, a notorious anti-Semitic Nazi propaganda film. The film used “infestation” to compare Jews to rats carrying contagion and swarming across Europe devouring resources. Others recognized the connection. Commentator Bill Kristol, a rare Republican who continued opposing Trump after his election, tweeted: “Trump’s statement that immigrants will ‘infest our Country’ probably sounds better in the original German.” Trump clearly enjoys equating darkskinned people with vermin and roaches. He told four non-white U.S. congresswomen to go back to their “crime-infested countries.” Then, he called the Baltimore congressional district of African American House Oversight Chairman Elijah Cummings “a disgusting rat and rodent infested mess” where “no human being would want to live.” Trump uses the same vile rhetoric to attack cities throughout the country that vote Democratic including New York, Chicago, Atlanta, Los Angeles, San Francisco and Oakland. He suggests human beings don’t want to live in disgusting places with multi-racial populations. Real Americans live in nice, white communities that vote for Trump. “His spewing of white supremacist rhetoric is unending,” said Democratic Oakland Mayor Libby Schaaf. “I fear that rhetoric will only get louder and more hateful the closer we get to the election.”

Outrageous, Inflammatory Rhetoric

Because Trump’s overt racism worked so well to elect Trump the first time, many Democrats fear it could work again. Could Trump really be the very stable political genius he claims? Hardly. Trump’s totally blind to how much his inflammatory racism repels and energizes decent voters of all stripes. Those Jewish voters he thought he could win over by calling Democrats anti-Semitic may be the most anti-Trump religious group in America for their own protection. Nearly three-quarters of Jewish voters (73%) say they feel less safe since Trump’s election. Their fears are supported by two deadly synagogue shootings and a record number of anti-Semitic hate crimes. Last October’s mass shooting at Pittsburgh’s Tree of Life synagogue, killing 11, was the deadliest act of anti-Semitic violence in U.S. history. The shooting during Passover six months earlier at the Chabad of Poway synagogue, in California, killed a woman who threw herself in front of the rabbi to save his life. Both shooters were motivated by a bizarre racist belief Jews supported a plot to destroy white control over America by encouraging massive non-white immigration. Where in the world would unstable, violent people get such a crazy idea? Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n SHEPHERD EXPRESS

NEWS&VIEWS::ISSUEOFTHEWEEK

Wisconsin Policy Forum Doesn’t Endorse the Sale of Milwaukee County Parks

without endorsing any of them. In this case, most of our discussion focuses on potential new revenue sources, including several different variations of sales taxes (each of which would require a change in state law). We also explore the potential for greater private sector support (both from enhanced philanthropic contributions and various forms of public-private partnerships), as well as various tweaks to the manner in which the county issues debt. In addition to laying out those potential approaches, we cite the one remaining undesirable option: “liquidating assets or otherwise crossing requested projects off the list.” We acknowledge that, because the county’s infrastructure repair backlog is now so formidable, some reduction in the list of capital projects is likely to be necessary even if new

Rob Henken

sources of funding do materialize. As context, we cite the hypothetical notion of eliminating specific projects or amenities within parks from the list—not because we support the idea, but because parks are a discretionary county function, and logic would dictate that closing a pool or a golf course would be preferable to closing a county trunk highway or a courtroom. Our series of reports should be viewed as a call to action—and not a threat—to those who value Milwaukee County’s parks and cultural assets. Our primary point was that something needs to happen soon to save these assets, and that collaboration between state and local leaders will be the key. Rob Henken is president of the Wisconsin Policy Forum. Comment at shepherdexpress. com. n

::BY ROB HENKEN

iven my long-time respect for the Shepherd Express and my previously constructive conversations with Virginia Small about Milwaukee County’s parks and cultural assets, I was greatly surprised and dismayed to read her recent piece on “The High Hidden Costs of Selling Milwaukee County Parks.” I felt that she grossly mischaracterized a recent report by the Wisconsin Policy Forum, ascribing to us a position we did not and never would take. The article declares the Forum “endorsed” the sale of county parks in the final installment of our five-part series of reports on the region’s immense local government infrastructure challenges. To support that contention, Small selectively quotes from a section that simply lays out the available options “if new financing mechanisms, financing arrangements and funding sources are not sufficient or palatable to address the region’s capital needs.” One of those options is to forego certain requested capital projects in the parks. Rather than representing an endorsement of selling parkland, our mention of that option is a warning of the undesirable consequences should state and local policymakers not work collaboratively to address capital funding issues. Indeed, nowhere in the report do we even mention the notion of selling parks specifically. In the passage cited by Small, we state, as a point of fact, that failure to repair certain parks infrastructure could require the closure of portions of parks, or amenities within them, for safety purposes. That’s a far cry from suggesting the sale of parks and, again, it’s not an endorsement of such action, it’s a warning. I urge your readers to review the report in question and our entire series of reports at wispolicyforum.org. Our three-year, painstaking analysis of the region’s local government infrastructure needs was intended to factually document the dimensions of our local infrastructure challenge and the options for addressing it. Those who know the Forum recognize that’s what we do: We research the facts surrounding critical policy challenges, and we lay out the potential courses of action SHEPHERD EXPRESS

Shepherd.7.203x7.267.MS.indd 1

AUGUST 1, 2019 | 9

7/11/2019 12:29:02 PM

::SAVINGOURDEMOCRACY ( AUG. 1 - 7, 2019 ) The Shepherd Express serves as a clearinghouse for all activities in the Greater Milwaukee area that peacefully push back against discriminatory, reactionary, racist, sexist, homophobic and authoritarian actions and policies of the Donald Trump regime, as well as other activities that seek to thwart social justice. To submit to this column, please send a brief description of your action, including date and time, to savingourdemocracy@shepex.com.

Saturday, Aug. 3 Every Saturday from noon-1 p.m., concerned citizens join with Peace Action of Wisconsin to protest war and literally “Stand for Peace.” Signs will be provided for those who need them. Protesters are encouraged to stick around for conversation and coffee after the protest.

Tuesday, Aug. 6 EXPO MKE August Meeting @ UW-Milwaukee Panther Arena (2821 N. Vel Phillips Ave.) 6 p.m. Pete Koneazny, of the Legal Aid Society of Milwaukee will join EXPO members to discuss conditions of confinement in Wisconsin Prisons and in particular, Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility. Those who administer detention sites are responsible for providing adequate food, clothing, shelter, sanitation and medical care. Do prison officials fall short of that responsibility? To submit to this column, please send a brief description of your action, including date and time, to savingourdemocracy@shepex.com. Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n

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Handling Intimidators ::BY PHILIP CHARD

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aybe you’re in a meeting at work and someone is using mental intimidation to strong-arm the assembled into submission. You have something to say but stymie yourself because it doesn’t seem worth the risk. Possibly, it occurs in a personal or family relationship. The other person is prone to emotional outbursts that evoke trepidation in your heart and avoidance in your behavior. Or, perhaps you are with a new group of people and want to fit in, but you find them overbearing, pushy or even scary. If you are a sensitive, peace-loving sort, each of these scenarios, and similar ones, may intimidate you. Herein, “intimidate” simply means these situations rob you of your center, your inner power. This was true for Carla, a mid-30s professional who found herself cowed by an older female colleague who made an art form of condescension and psychological browbeating. When interacting with this woman, either one-to-one or in team meetings, Carla found herself turtling; withdrawing into silence and passivity in an effort to appease her tormentor. This failed miserably, of course. The more she deferred to her snooty coworker, the more she became an inviting target for further abuse. As Winston Churchill noted, “An appeaser is someone who feeds a crocodile so it will eat him last.” Often, you can literally see someone’s personal power slip away in threatening circumstances. The visible signs emerge in her or his physiology—changes in posture, facial expressions, gestures, movements and so on. In fact, this collapse of one’s emotional center resembles someone about to curl up in the classic fetal position. Regrettably, this is not lost on the intimidators and predators in one’s midst. Many victims of bullying and psychological intimidation project their vulnerability through their body language, unwittingly encouraging would-be attackers. I have witnessed this in rancorous business meetings, during heated family arguments and in other adversarial exchanges. Emotional predators can sense blood in the water, so to speak, and move in for the kill. Thankfully, there is a way to push back, and it’s not with one’s mouth or fists. The same “body collapse” that robs people of their inner power can be consciously reversed by learning to physically center one’s self. In the martial arts, centering is the most oft-repeated lesson. Once mastered, it makes the individual more powerful, not only physically but, more importantly, psychologically. Just as the crumpling up of one’s physical center can diminish inner mental fortitude, regaining it can be accomplished through specific postures, movements and expressions. We know that physiology not only reflects inner emotional states, but it also helps create and sustain them. Walk, talk and gesticulate with confidence, even if this initially feels contrived, and, often, you will begin to actually be confident. A self-generating feedback loop arises, turning what was make-believe inner strength into the real deal. The first step is literally to center one’s body by adopting a less pronounced version of the “warrior’s stance.” Feet apart and at a 45-degree angle, knees slightly bent, back erect but not rigid, hands at the ready, attentive but relaxed expression, slightly defocused eyes… and remember to breathe fully. When feeling intimidated, many of us stutter-breathe, taking short, shallow breaths. When sitting, the warrior’s stance consists of keeping feet flat on the floor, spine erect but not rigid, hands on the lap or table, not fidgeting or folded. Physical centering takes practice but works for many, as it did for Carla. So, whenever with her browbeating colleague, she assumed this stance, focused on her breathing and maintaining eye contact. She didn’t try to be intimidating in return. She simply modified her physiology to amplify her sense of personal power. Before long, her coworker’s bullying behavior eased off. Apparently, she sensed that Carla was no longer easy prey. Remember, when intimidators and predators are about, most of us can’t think ourselves into feeling our inner strength. We have to physically act ourselves into it. For more, visit philipchard.com.

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NEWS&VIEWS::POLL

You Think Trump is a Racist Last week, we asked if you thought Donald Trump is racist, given his many tweets about Democratic congresswomen of color and Republican Party defenses of the indefensible. You resoundingly said that he is (and this was before his most recent racist attacks upon U.S. Rep. Elijah Cummings of Maryland): n Yes: 81% n No: 19%

What Do You Say? Do you think there will be scooter riders who ignore the law and, throughout the coming fivemonth trial period, will continuously ride scooters on Milwaukee sidewalks, causing injury to pedestrians? n Yes n No Vote online at shepherdexpress.com. We’ll publish the results of this poll in next week’s issue.

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We will keep you informed each week about the growing availability of legal cannabis products in Milwaukee and what’s happening at the state level with respect to Wisconsin’s movement towards legalization, what’s happening in other states and in the rest of the world.

Advocating for Farmers, Product Standards in the Emerging Hemp Industry ::BY SHEILA JULSON

iane Strauss knows that Wisconsin has the potential to regain the top hemp growing status our state enjoyed prior to World War II. Strauss has a background in agriculture, health and wellness, branding and environmentally sustainable systems. Her work with her ex-husband’s company, specialty meat packer Strauss Brands, involved development of a pasture-raised field program with animal welfare protocols with an emphasis on natural and humane standards. Today, through her company—Cream, LLC—she’s applying that knowledge and expertise to hemp. “Cannabis is very important for a lot of different reasons, and the category needs talented, quality, ethical leadership,” says Strauss. For this growing season, she’s working with farmers to focus on improving their financial situation by growing hemp with organic, regenerative practices while creating an interior network so farmers can pool resources to fill special orders for pharmaceutical, nutraceutical and dietary supplement companies. Strauss also grows hemp on her Mequon, Wis., property for trials and testing. This past year, Wisconsin witnessed a hemorrhage of dairy farms, and Strauss sees hemp as an opportunity to help farmers who are at a tough crossroads. “This is an opportunity to delegate a certain portion of their farming to hemp production and give them an increase in income to stay afloat while still growing our food,” she emphasizes. Strauss is a member of the Hemp Roundtable—a coalition of hemp companies lobbying at the state level to fully legalize hemp and popular hemp-derived products like cannabidiol (CBD). The organization also exchanges information with law enforcement, does legislative advocacy and supports the U.S. Hemp Authority Certification Program, a third-party certification program that promotes high standards and traceability through self-regulation. Strauss is also second vice chair of the U.S. Hemp Farming Alliance, which advocates solely for the interests of hemp farmers, and the Hemp Industry Association, a nonprofit trade organization dedicated to education, industry development and expansion of the hemp industry.

In It for the Long Term—Not Just ‘for the Gold Rush’

The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has yet to develop any concrete regulations for cannabis products, which Strauss says has resulted in a buyer beware marketplace for hemp products. “A lot of companies are naïve or just in it for the gold rush, so I believe it’s important to have people out there who are trying to raise the bar and move that needle up in a positive direction for cannabis, whether it’s hemp or tetrahydrocannabinol (THC).” Individual states are creating their own regulations on cannabis products, thus crafting a murky patchwork of laws that vary drastically across the country. Strauss says Wisconsin is doing a good job by following suggested laws and regulations created by senators and legislators, and the state’s Department of Agriculture, Trade and Consumer Protection (DATCP) is showing support for hemp farmers. According to information dated March 4, 2019, on the DATCP website, it received 1,405 applications to grow industrial hemp this year, which is up from 247 grower licenses issued for 2018. Those numbers encourage Strauss, but she advises people interested in entering the hemp industry to take their time to do it right. “It’s important to make sure you’re growing hemp through organic, regenerative practices, because when you’re using this product, you’re going to be smoking it or using the flower in its raw, natural form,” she says. “Get very good consulting from those in the industry who have done this before and align yourself with support and help.” She cautions cannabis is not just a weed that will grow anywhere. “Those plants need a lot of babysitting, and there are different problems that come up that could wipe out your whole crop.” She also advises to start small and test different cultivars and methods of cover crops to beat weeds, “and learn to plant for the future, not just for the immediate gold rush,” she concludes. For more information about the hemp organizations mentioned in this article, visit hempsupporter.com, ushempauthority.org, ushempfarmingalliance.com or thehia.org. To reach Diane Strauss, email diane@cream.care. Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

Design and Brand Identity at the Service of Cannabis Companies ::BY JEAN-GABRIEL FERNANDEZ

annabis aﬁcionados notice that most businesses in the industry tend to follow the same few guidelines to present their products: earthy tones, especially dark green; a cannabis leaf or a drop of liquid; sometimes medicine-related imagery like a caduceus or a medical cross… Although these characteristics make cannabis or CBD businesses easy to recognize, they can also blur an individual brand’s identity until it becomes interchangeable with others in the same area. Milwaukee brand specialist Samantha Everett helps business owners avoid this pitfall with her own company, Pretty Lethal Designs. “A women-led cannabis branding company. In… Milwaukee? For real,” her website reads. With experience working in downtown Chicago for big corporations and craft coffee and food, Everett set her sights on cannabis after seeing loved ones get their lives back thanks to medical pot. “We really made the transition to cannabis after seeing the challenges in craft coffee were the same challenges over in cannabis,” she explains, confessing that her work is her way of supporting activism and education to make a change in Wisconsin. “When we help with the branding, we help businesses clear some of the stigma,” she adds.

Strategy and identity are the heart of business

Beyond just visual design, Everett and her team work on establishing a strategy and positioning for the business; they seek to determine what the business is about, what sets them apart, what is the brand’s purpose and why they are in the industry. “Once we have this information, that’s when we work on your logo, your design, packaging and all the other pieces that visually represent all of these ideas that we put together in the strategy.” Establishing a clear strategy and unique identity is particularly important when working with cannabis, as she explains: “For a lot of cannabis businesses, the very first step is licensing. In order to get a license, you need to put your proposal in front of government officials, partners and investors, and you need to make sure these people are on board.” Bay Botanicals Inc., a team of three women who have a successful cannabis business on the West Coast and who are looking to transplant here, have worked with Pretty Lethal Designs to put together a letter of intent and various documents to help them with their licensing process; “That way, it is clear they have a plan, an identity, that they are organized and ready to take on the challenge,” Everett says. When asked why business owners should consult design professionals rather than make a logo themselves, Everett cannot stifle a chuckle. “You could also do your plumbing yourself, but you will run into issues in the end,” she says. “It takes a lot of work and skills to take all of these abstract ideas and translate them into words, images and strategy.” Cannabis is particularly difficult to work with from a legal standpoint, she warns, as regulations can quickly change; it could suddenly become illegal to have a cannabis leaf on your logo, for instance.

A Midwestern identity

One of the reasons why Everett works in Milwaukee, in spite of the fact Wisconsin is not a hub of cannabis activity (aside from the numerous local CBD enterprises), is her love for the Midwestern style. She deplores the lack of exploration of that style in the cannabis industry, in particular in legal states surrounding Wisconsin. “We feel like the design and branding in cannabis right now are great, but they really reﬂect the West Coast and the East Coast, and we would really like to see Midwest cannabis brands in the legal states do their own thing, show off their Midwestern style and really change the game,” Everett explains. She cites the “incredible signage and type” that we see in breweries in particular, but also all around Milwaukee. She notes that Chicago and other cities around Wisconsin all have a distinctive “vibe” they could build upon. “The branding of cannabis companies needs to reﬂect involvement in the community, so we take inspiration from the local area [when we work on a brand]. It is also important to make sure that you are unique. Already, we are seeing a lot of brands using the same words and cliché images, and all it does is create confusion for customers.” For more information, visit prettylethaldesigns.com. A U G U S T 1 , 2 0 1 9 | 13

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Gluon Gallery’s Gritty Resourceful Coolness ::BY SHANE MCADAMS

he art scene in Milwaukee generates a disproportional energy from its curbs and its basements. It’s one its most admirable qualities, and in the few years of hosting out-of-towners at my own space, its authenticity and social vitality is something that gets noticed by everyone. Those committed to a life in art here tend to know each other, drink together, and for the most part support each other across various inter-artistic differences. Thinking about this might make a local booster want to swell with unconditional pride, but it’s also worth considering that in such a trying professional landscape, artists might be huddling for the same reason penguins do in the face of negative 100-degree Antarctic temperatures. Still, Milwaukee’s huddling burden is in many ways preferable to the alternative—in nature and culture it’s generally easier to get warm than to get cool. Riverwest’s Gluon Gallery (2964 N. Holton St.) is one of those remote artistic outposts that makes one respect Milwaukee’s gritty, resourceful coolness. In a two-car stand-alone garage, Joe Acri and Sally Nicholson have been curating a rotating program of mostly two-person shows by emerging artists “in rapid succession.” It’s easy to put up drywall in a basement and hang paintings made by art school buddies and call it a gallery until the lease is up, but it’s much more difficult to generate an actual program with vision, breadth and relevance. Which they seem committed to do, with a dozen shows now under their belt. The current exhibition of works by recent Rhode Island School of Design graduate Qualeasha Wood speaks to their ambitious reach. Wood’s work is big in personality and in scale. They’re a little snug in the 300-square foot garage space. Her six-by-four-foot, collage-based tapestries referencing Christian icon painting as an exploration of personal identity might benefit from some breathing room. But one should give credit for bringing ambitious work to us in the first place rather than hold lack of space against them. In the context of Gluon’s garage, Woods’ self-declared “Afrofuturist” work confronts more deliberately than it might in a larger gallery where the advantages of space would emphasize composition and materiality. By placing her own image in the exulted positions of martyrs, saints, and Virgins, she unleashes a cascade of undeniable and provocative implications about power, history, race and gender. Her two defiant and totally committed videos in “Just for Me” double down on issues of blackness and gender in a series emphatic monologues that boldly confess thoughts about everything from her physical appearance to notions of white guilt. And her outpourings ring true; they’re raw, bold and convictive, but they also leave one searching for universally normative handles to place on so many personal and descriptive declarations. Wood’s show is full of the type of force and energy we could use in Milwaukee, a city whose idle pleasures tend to lean toward the traditional. Any and all diversity of form and content are worthwhile agitators here. I’m a diehard cultural agnostic and feel truly that the more strangeness and disruption we can add to our lives, the better (I used to tell New Yorkers they’d benefit from drinking more and deer hunting). Artists are disruptors, and so are venues at their best. We have those authentically weird and unique agents and platforms in spades in Milwaukee, only they’re harder to locate than the Fiserv Forum or Miller Park. With only a little work, however, disruption is yours.

Qualeasha Wood, Test of Faith, Jacquard, Sequins, Durag, Feathers COURTESY OF THE ARTIST

OPENING: “Feedback Loop: The Unreliability of Historical Sources” “Two Days of Wine & Roses: Nature, Art and Music” Friday, Aug. 2, 6-9 p.m. Gallery 2622 • 2622 N. Wauwatosa Ave., Wauwatosa

Jim Farrell imagines a distant future reaching back to communicate with us here in the present day. Utilizing plaster, found objects, photocopies, old photographs, acrylic paint, video elements, layered papers, ink and industrial stamps, Farrell tries to elicit an emotional reaction with what appears to be a communication (or, perhaps, miscommunication) from another time. His work is informed by texture, layering and the immediacy of a message that is trying to emerge from the work. Light snacks and beverages will be served, and attendees will be able to both view and purchase Farrell’s work. For more information, visit gallery2622.com. 22 | A U G U S T 1 , 2 0 1 9

Aug. 3-4, 10 a.m. Boerner Botanical Gardens • 9400 Boerner Drive, Hales Corners

“Two Days of Wine & Roses” presents a full schedule of plein-air painting, glass blowing, still life painting, rose painting and children’s activities. Art from the Rogues Artists Group will be featured at the entrance to the gift shop. The gift shop itself will be packed with more art and craft items including ceramics, paintings, pastels, metalwork and more. Food and live music by Krazy Kat Boyz featuring Robb Hoffmann and Bill McLaughlin, the Asthmatics featuring Dave Schmitt on hammered dulcimer, Acoustic Anarchy with John Granzow, Gary Kitchen and guest Steven Yeo and Tom Clines and Friends featuring Tom Clines on acoustic guitar. SHEPHERD EXPRESS

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A&E::FILM

[ FILM CLIPS ] Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw PG-13 Positioned as a spin-off of the “Fast & Furious” franchise, this film is produced by its leads, Johnson and Statham. The studio threw $200 million at the budget, allowing the effects team to create action sequences rivaling those of comic book films. And the story goes: In London, American lawman Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) is ordered to partner with former British military operative, Shaw (Jason Statham), and Shaw’s sister, a fearless MI6 agent (Vanessa Kirby). The two men bicker nonstop, even when pitted against Brixton Lore (Idris Elba), a genetically enhanced villain who rides a mean motorcycle and is hell-bent on using a killer virus to wipe out humanity. Helen Mirren reprises her role as Shaw’s mum, but Hobbs gets family time too. On a remote island, we meet his mom and three brothers, one of whom (Roman Reigns), is Johnson’s real-life cousin. (Lisa Miller)

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood R It’s Hollywood in 1969, and former western TV star Rick Dalton (Leonardo DiCaprio) is desperate for a good role. Dalton is kept company by Cliff Booth (Brad Pitt), his longtime stunt double and good buddy. Great chemistry between this duo arises from their thoughtful, nuanced characterizations. Dalton agrees to film a spaghetti western and Booth meets Bruce Lee (Mike Moh) on the set of TV’s “Green Hornet.” Sharon Tate (Margot Robbie) becomes Dalton’s neighbor around the time that he and Booth visit the dilapidated Spahn Movie Ranch, ‘The Farewell’

A Sweet and Fond Family ‘Farewell’

::BY DAVID LUHRSSEN

randparents and grandchildren often enjoy a special bond. In The Farewell, the bond crosses continents and multiple time zones. Billi (Awkwafina), an aspiring writer in Manhattan, speaks regularly by cell phone with her grandmother Nai Nai (Zhao Shuzhen). Among other things, Nai Nai warns Billi to dress for the cold, adding, she read somewhere “that in New York, people will steal your earrings.” The Farewell is a family comedy, sweet yet laced with sadness over the passage of people and places that are gone. When Nai Nai, a vigorous woman in her 80s, is diagnosed with lung cancer and given three months to live, the family refuses to tell her. The impending wedding of Billi’s cousin in China becomes a family reunion where the secret must be kept. “Look at you, you can’t hide your emotions,” says Billi’s mother, asking her to just stay home. But headstrong Billi flies to China anyway and agonizes over whether the family’s decision is best. Written and directed by Chinese American filmmaker Lulu Wang, The Farewell brims with well-timed comedic moments, many of them delivered by Nai Nai. Despite her persistent cough, which she chalks up to a cold, the energetic old woman takes charge of every aspect of the impending wedding. “He’s my only grandson—we can’t afford to look cheap,” 24 | A U G U S T 1 , 2 0 1 9

she insists. As for the grandson’s suspiciously brief three-month courtship, that’s no good: let’s say it’s been a year so people won’t talk. At the hospital, as Billi and the cancer doctor discuss Nai Nai’s irreversible illness, grandmother plays matchmaker. “They both speak English! And he’s so handsome!” Billi is sulky at times (her mother was right!) and one wonders about her killjoy devotion to truth. Even if she can’t fully accept her family’s explanation that it’s a “good lie” or that in China the entire family must “carry the emotional burden” for Nai Nai, does Billi want to spoil the wedding? And truth be told, Billi isn’t exactThe ly forthright about her Farewell rejection by the Guggenheim Foundation Awkwafina for a fellowship. Zhao Shuzhen The contrasting Directed by East-West values of Lulu Wang the collective verRated PG sus the individual is incorporated nonjudgmentally into the story. No one preaches and messages are left for signboards. Although they may have different perspectives, Nai Nai and Billi share an independent spirit as well as the bond of family and memory. The Farewell is funny and quietly moving.

now housing the Manson family. As events unfold, Tarantino rewrites history but leaves room for killing aplenty—thereby keeping his most important promise to viewers. (L.M.)

[ HOME MOVIES / NOW STREAMING ] n The Andromeda Strain

If the secret laboratory in The Andromeda Strain (1971) resembles a planet-bound set from 2001: A Space Odyssey, it’s because the films shared visual designer Douglas Trumbull, whose future included work on Close Encounters of the Third Kind and Blade Runner. Instead of venturing into space as in 2001, space comes to Earth in The Andromeda Strain when a deadly microorganism arrives on a fallen satellite. Everyone dies horribly in the remote town where the satellite crashes—except an infant and an old drunk. The story focuses on a team of scientists racing to crack the organism’s code and discover why two such opposite people survived. Based on a Michael Crichton novel, the sci-talk is actually plausible and the setting—with Siri-like voices, touch screen computers and a U.S. president who doesn’t trust scientists—is prophetic. Director Robert Wise’s remarkable Hollywood career spanned science fiction, film noir, horror and musicals.

n Ayiti Mon Amour

An award-winning favorite on the film festival circuit, Ayiti Mon Amour (2016) is visually and narratively poetic. Prolific Haitian American director Guetty Felin focuses on a bookish, sensitive teenager coming of age in a country afflicted by disaster. The earth and sea have shifted, the rhythm of life is upset and in the background of this allusive tale is poverty and protest. Ayiti Mon Amour was filmed in Haiti with a local cast and crew.

n Shortcut to Happiness

Mephistopheles is a sultry woman in this mildly amusing Faustian bargain of a struggling writer (Alec Baldwin) who trades his soul for success in a pact consummated by sex. Shortcut to Happiness (2007) is a spoof of hypocrisy and pretention and—especially—of slogan-slinging marketing and the grinding (soul-stealing?) machinery of celebrity. The particle of anticipation hangs from whether the writer will escape his fate with the help of his distinguished publisher (Anthony Hopkins). —David Luhrssen

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James Nares, Street, 2011. Digital file 61 mins. National Gallery of Art, Washington, The Sarah and William L Walton Fund, Gift of the Collectors Committee, and the Marlene Nathan Meyerson Family Foundation 2014.82.1

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A&E::BOOKS MICHAEL LIONSTAR

BOOK|REVIEWS

The Great Great Wall: Along the Borders of History from China to Mexico (ABRAMS), BY IAN VOLNER

Walls are among humanity’s “first fruits,” nearly as elementary as “the sharpened stone and the roaring fire,” writes architectural historian Ian Volner. But in The Great Great Wall, he finds civilizations that had no need of walled cities and borders, including the Mayans and Aztecs. Volner zigzags across continents and centuries, accumulating interesting facts as he rummages in the ruins of Jericho, tours the Great Wall of China and revisits Berlin where effacing the city’s divided past is a profitable industry. Among the anecdotes he unearths is first lady Pat Nixon, speaking in 1971 at the Mexican-American border: “May there never be a wall between these two great nations.” Hovering over the pages like the fat balloon that chased Trump on his British visits are the policies of the present administration, sometimes befuddled but persistent and hinged on fear. If a coherent argument emerges, it’s that walls often don’t work as intended. Who knows? Maybe in another century’s Trump’s barriers will survive as a tourist trap? (David Luhrssen)

38TH ANNUAL

HUNGER BOOK SALE!

FRIDAY thru TUESDAY August 2 - August 6 11-6pm • Daily • FREE! Preview night: Thurs. August 1 • 6-9pm • $5

All Saints’ Cathedral

818 E. Juneau, Milwaukee Over 50,000 used books, some rare or collectible. Also recorded music, movies, and books for sale. All proceeds go to fight local and world hunger. BRING THIS AD FOR $5 OFF ANY SALE OVER $25 ON FRIDAY AND SATURDAY ONLY.

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Claire Lombardo

BOOK|PREVIEW

THE DIFFICULTIES OF A LIFETIME IN ‘THE MOST FUN WE EVER HAD’ ::BY JENNI HERRICK

ew people understand the complications of kinship better than social workers, so it is no surprise that social worker-turned-writer Claire Lombardo’s much-anticipated debut novel tells a boundless tale based around a single family’s secrets, jealousies and entanglements. Yet the title of Lombardo’s book, The Most Fun We Ever Had, belies the darkness and difficulties that can evolve over a lifetime. This sweeping story follows the Sorenson clan over four decades, capturing the tumultuous, often competitive, relationships between the family’s four adult daughters. The narrative moves back and forth in time but is rooted in 2016, a year that proves particularly onerous for all members of the Midwestern tribe. Eldest daughter Wendy is reeling from her husband’s unexpected death while her control-hungry “Irish twin” Vivian is forced to confront a 15-year-old decision; third-born Liza struggles over whether to leave her depressed partner while baby Grace, newly college graduated, harbors skeletons she is ashamed to share. Each woman’s trials and tribulations are captured with witty observations and complex character-building, their heartbreaks and disappointments weighing again the messy bonds of sibling loyalty. At the helm of it all are the family’s patriarch and matriarch, the golden couple whose impressive love appears unbreakable. Lombardo hails from the Chicago area and is a graduate of the Iowa Writers’ Workshop. Her gripping and expansive first novel is an ambitious tome about a quintessential American family. Lombardo will speak at Boswell Book Co. on Tuesday, Aug. 6, at 7 p.m.; and Books & Company on Wednesday, Aug. 7, at 7 p.m. Both events will feature Penguin Random House representative Jason Gobble, who will offer book club recommendations.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

DAVE ZYLSTRA

::OFFTHECUFF

Ali Kopyt

Women Making a difference OFF THE CUFF WITH WOMEN IN DESIGN’S ALI KOPYT ::BY GENEVIEVE VAHL

ilwaukee’s own Women in Design (WID) has been recently honored by the American Institute of Architects’ (AIA) Diversity Recognition Program for promoting the great work produced by women in Milwaukee’s creative design fields. WID hosts numerous lectures, mentoring events, community service projects and panel presentations, creating a community rooted in supporting each other and advancing architecture into a more inclusive and equitable profession. Starting as 20 friends meeting sporadically, WID is now rallying more than 150 attendees at their programming events, a testament to their powerful efforts. Off the Cuff met with Ali Kopyt, one of the managing architects with Korb + Associates Architects and on WID’s leadership team to discuss this recognition. What was the process like to get the Diversity Award? The AIA puts out a call. It was a great process for us to go through because they ask about our organization, how we see ourselves, how we define ourselves and then what kind of actions we are taking, how we are fulfilling our mission. Because we are so grassroots and organic with a small budget, it allowed us some time to reflect. It was a great opportunity to see where we have been, how we’ve gotten to where we are and where we want to go. We were able to share that with the AIA, and they thought our program is something worth recognizing, which is a really great honor. SHEPHERD EXPRESS

What are some of WID’s goals? Empowerment, advocacy, creating a strong community, being involved in how we can help support our community. When you think about architects in your head, you picture a white dude. It’s just the way it is. That’s what we are looking to change, what we are looking to put forward as local architects, as local designers, as talented women. Which is aligned with AIA’s mission because they recognize the signiﬁcant role women are playing in the ﬁeld of architecture and design.

SWV

Bettye LaVette

Miller Lite Oasis

Johnson Controls World Music Sound Stage

Join us as we celebrate African and African American culture through traditional and contemporary experiences such as R&B, Spoken Word, Gospel, Urban Line Dance, Blues, a tribute to one of Milwaukee’s finest and more—there’s something for everyone! Bring three (3) cans of peaches or pears in 100% natural juice to the Hunger Task Force tent across from the mid gate to receive FREE admission between noon – 2pm.

How do you think having women in leadership will change architecture? In so many wonderful ways. I think about girls like my daughters, and what they get to see as they’re growing up as being normal rather than an exception. Having women in leadership should be commonplace, not this abstract idea where this question doesn’t even need to exist. I think people of a variety of genders and backgrounds can bring strength to so many aspects of a leadership position. How does WID make architecture a more diverse, inclusive and equitable profession? Women in Design’s mission is advocacy. We spotlight the work of women and highlight ways women can be themselves. We provide tools for them to see themselves differently, to help build conﬁdence and support structures around each other. There is a lot of comradery and friendships that have been built out of this organization which expands the network of powerful, amazing women in the city. We have also expanded to ﬁlmmakers, toy makers, graphic artists, graphic designers, fashion and all different types of designers that really enrich the community we are involved with. I am just constantly in awe at the things we are able to make happen. I am really honored with a lot of the partnerships we have forged over the last few years with the Women’s Fund, with the W Crew… I think it is important that we are not working in isolation. There are other great women’s organizations out there that we are able to collaborate with, which is really exciting. For more information, visit widmke.com

Visit BlackArtsFestmke.com

Saturday, August 3 Henry Maier Festival Park (Summerfest grounds)

I h a te The film blog

of the Shepherd Express by Managing Editor Dave Luhrssen

shepherdexpress.com/hollywood A U G U S T 1 , 2 0 1 9 | 27

::HEARMEOUT ASK RUTHIE | UPCOMING EVENTS | PAUL MASTERSON

::ASKRUTHIE SPONSORED BY

WINNER OF THE JEWELERS OF AMERICA’S 2019 CASE AWARD

Aug. 3—Black Arts Fest MKE at Henry W. Maier Festival Park (200 N. Harbor Drive): Celebrate the magnificence, excitement and energy of African American culture during this noon to midnight ethnic fest. Enjoy music from several genres in addition to dance, food and numerous activities for children. Join the good times when you pre-purchase a ticket at blackartsfestmke.com, or simply buy your tickets at the gate (note, however, that the main gate closes ticket sales at 10:30 p.m.).

Get Tested. FREE HIV AND STD TESTING AT OUR BRADY STREET LOCATION MONDAY AND TUESDAY NIGHTS. NO APPOINTMENT NEEDED.

C·L·I·N·I·C

BESTD Clinic, 1240 E. Brady Street Go to bestd.org for more information.

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July 31—Release Party for ‘Death Takes a Bow’ at Boswell Book Company (2559 N. Downer Ave.): Help local author David Pederson launch his new mystery, Death Takes a Bow, at one of the city’s most popular bookstores. The fourth installment in the popular LGBTQ series, this novel promises all the excitement of the previous books with the addition of a theatrical twist. Enjoy a reading from the author, wine and snacks at the 7-9 p.m. event. Aug. 2—Urban Island Beach Party at Lakeshore State Park (500 N. Harbor Drive): How do you take a beach party to a new level? Create a “good luck” lantern launch, include kayaking and offer it up free to the public. The 5-11 p.m. bash includes food, booze, dancing and more, so grab your coolest Hawaiian shirt and come support the “Friends of Lakeshore Park” during this family friendly fundraiser.

Know Your Status.

BESTD

::RUTHIE’SSOCIALCALENDAR

Rise Up for Progress! I have to tell ya... as a community, we do a pretty good job of recognizing those who move(d) the Milwaukee LGBTQ community forward. The 2019 PrideFest celebrated those who came before, fought for equal rights and left their mark. Milwaukee offers impressive history displays, hosts photo exchanges and organizes other events to honor our past. Similarly, we do our best to respect those working hard to move the city forward today. That’s why I’m always excited to host the LGBTQ Progress Awards. Join me on Thursday, Aug. 8, at 1451 Renaissance Place (1451 N. Prospect Ave.) for a lovely night of food and cocktails, as well as the chance to thank those making positive changes in our community, our state and our lives. The Cream City Foundation and The Shepherd Express organize the annual event, awarding eight individuals for exceptional work in our community. Categories include Progress in Arts & Culture, Youth Activism, Progress in Activism and Struggle for Equality. Congratulate the winners when you attend the event, which takes place 5:30-8 p.m., by ordering your $50 tickets at shepherdtickets.com. It’s time to rise up, Milwaukee! I’ll see you there!

Aug. 3—‘Babes in Nerdland’ at Walker’s Point Music Hall (538 W. National Ave.): Get your geek on when this adults-only burlesque hits the stage at 10 p.m. Enjoy the show, cocktails and more for a $10 door charge ($8 if you’re in a costume), and have yourself a good time with the cast of the Brew City Bombshells. Shimmy over to brewcitybombshells.com for more information. Aug. 4—‘Camp Wannakiki, Season Two’ Premier at Hamburger Mary’s (730 S. Fifth St.): Featuring campy drag queens from across the country, America’s nuttiest drag reality competition is about to return for a second season! Catch the debut episode a few days before it goes public during this 7 p.m. viewing party. I’ll be there, and if you haven’t seen my show, what are you waiting for? Catch up on Season One on the Camp Wannakiki channel on YouTube, then help me kick off Season Two! Aug. 5—Southeast Chamber on Tap at Delta Hotels by Marriott (7111 Washington Ave., Hwy 20, Racine): The happiest of happy hours is in store when you swing by this 5 p.m. social hosted by the Wisconsin LGBT Chamber of Commerce. Say you can’t meet new people? Well, stop your bitching and hit up this friendly evening. Meet open-minded business owners and other members of the community at the change-of-pace social. Aug. 7—LGBTQ and Mental Health Youth Support Group at Milwaukee LGBT Community Center (1110 N. Market St.): Dealing with emotional issues? Consider attending this biweekly support group for LGBTQ youth experiencing one or more mental health diagnoses. The confidential support group reviews rotating topics as facilitated by a licensed clinical counselor. See mkelgbt.org for additional information. Ask Ruthie a question or share your events with her at dearruthie@shepex.com. Follow her on Instagram @ruthiekeester and Facebook at Dear Ruthie. Watch, like, subscribe and share her reality show, Camp Wannakiki, on YouTube today! Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::MYLGBTQPoint of View

Riding Along With AIDS Ride Wisconsin ::BY PAUL MASTERSON

midst all the daily mayhem in which we regard bullies, bluster and bad behavior as the norm, it’s a usually disheartening struggle to find real heroes. But I recently found some, however unsung as they might be. They’re the riders and support crew of the AIDS Ride Wisconsin. Better known among participants under its former moniker, AIDS Network Cycles Together (ACT), the annual, fundraising, three-day bicycle trek just took place last weekend. Pete Minns, a colleague from our days as members of the PrideFest board of directors, has always been an obsessive volunteer for LGBTQ health-related causes. He asked if I’d come along for an AIDS Ride training session. It would just be for a single day’s 74-mile ride, beginning in Madison. I’d be in a sweep car, the support crew that follows the riders in case of breakdowns, mechanical or otherwise, as well as to ferry water for pit stops. Of course, I took him up on the offer. We started off in Madison and, via county roads traveled into the Wisconsin countryside. The majestic rolling hills dotted with silos and grazing cows, cut with ribbons of two-lane roads, offer a bucolic quiet. But those charming postcard hills can challenge the hardiest of cyclists. Traveling in the sweep car behind them, I

could only marvel at their stamina and perseverance as they surmounted one dramatic incline after another and disappeared over the crest. I should mention that, of the 11 training that day, the majority were seniors and veterans of most, if not all, the previous 16 ACT rides. One, a 72-year-old rider, suggested there were a number of participants older than himself. Another intrepid rider confided that his endurance was in great part due to being part of the pack. There were four times as many people on the actual AIDS Ride plus the volunteer sweep, route-marking and medical crews. On the first day, they rode from Madison to Waukesha. Day two was Century Day (aka Superhero Day, with some cyclists in costume). As the name implies, the route covered a grueling 100 miles from Waukesha and back again. Finally, the third day was the return to Madison and the closing ceremony. In all, the riders pedaled 275 miles through bugs, heat, hills and headwinds. In ACT’s early years, there were several times the number of riders. But, given all the charity rides and walks, there’s a lot of competition. Perhaps the urgency of the cause has waned in some people’s minds as well, and there’s the demand of a three-day tour (it used to be six). Besides, if one is moved to donate, it’s merely a matter of a few keystrokes on a smartphone. For those who remain, however, the mission and motivation remain. As rider Terry Christopher summed up, “Through the challenges and whatever else that came our way, we worked together as a team to crank through the miles to help the clients of the AIDS Resource Center of Wisconsin, while also remembering those friends and loved ones we have lost. It was, and always is, a pleasure to ride with such dedicated, supportive and love-filled folks that is this AIDS Ride Community.” Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n

presented by cream city foundation

THURSDAY, AUGUST 8 • 5:30 - 8pm 1451 RENAISSANCE PLACE 1451 N. Prospect Ave. MKE, WI

Planned Parenthood of Wisconsin, Inc.

for more info: shepherdexpress.com/shepherdevents SHEPHERD EXPRESS

A U G U S T 1 , 2 0 1 9 | 29

Cocktail Trail CRAFT COCKTAIL COUPON BOOK

Featuring discounts at more than 20 Milwaukee bars and restaurants, Cocktail Trail offers coupons for free or buy-one-get-one drinks at participating establishments until May 2020.

Twisted Path Distillery Lost Whale Boone & Crockett Café Corozón Kegel's Inn

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Milwaukee Sail Loft ABV Social Branded Kindred on KK TAYLORS

Cocktail Trail booklets are available for purchase for $25 online at shepstore.com and at MKE Home, Sparrow Collective, and Beard MKE.

Ale Asylum Riverhouse Black Sheep Rumpus Room Hi Hat Lounge Casablanca

Central Standard Craft Distillery The Original The Diplomat The Wicked Hop

Club Charlies Goodkind Bittercube Crimson Club Fuel Café

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::MUSIC MUSIC

For more MUSIC, log onto shepherdexpress.com

SAMER GHANI

FEATURE | ALBUM REVIEWS | CONCERT REVIEWS | LOCAL MUSIC

Shle Berry

EXPRESSING HERSELF WITHOUT BEING JUDGED Milwaukee rapper Shle Berry is unafraid to push boundaries ::BY NAYELI PORTILLO

hle Berry knows from firsthand experience that persistence pays off, big time. In a quiet, dimly lit café at the edge of a bustling intersection in Bay View, the Milwaukee rapper recounts going from (in her own words) not knowing how to get a show to save her life some 10 years ago to eventually landing her first-ever set at Summerfest last month. “Around last year, I started getting asked to do all these shows and I just said yes to everything. If it paid, I said I’d do it. Free? I said I’d do it. I needed the practice and wanted to gain new fans,” Berry tells the Shepherd Express. “This year has been... now I can’t say yes to all of [the shows],” she jokes. Berry started making music in high school around the age of 16 after a friend obtained some recording software following a downloading splurge. But for her, it soon turned into much more than dabbling in the roles of artist and producer. “I really fell in love with being able to express myself without being judged,” she says.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

On her Tampons EP released last May, nothing is off-limits. “I hate that tampons are still such a taboo. I feel like up until recently, I’ve been embarrassed to have them in my bag or pockets,” she says. From the EP’s cover shot with Berry’s unabashed, piercing gaze obscuring a band of uncomfortable men clad in all-white encircling her to the valorous opening verse in “Breakdown”—“I’m at war with a girl that I know so well / Never been sure but I sure won’t tell”—inspired Shle Berry by the highpoint of 88Nine Radio Jordan Peele’s film, Us Milwaukee’s (the central character, “414 Live” attempts to finish off Thursday, her “tether,” despite Aug. 8, 5:30 p.m. the doppelgänger being able to predict every one of her moves), the intentions are obvious at first listen. Berry is here to confront doubters and her inner demons alike over a backdrop of dense, heavy-hitting beats. Running with the momentum from 2018’s Parallels (which won her the Shepherd Express’ Best Rap/Hip-Hop Artist award and 88Nine Radio Milwaukee’s Independent Release of the Year), Berry was eager to deliver a follow-up that was strikingly different from its pop-tinted predecessor, that spotlighted her skills as a rapper and started a conversation on the way women are often pushed into the background in hip-hop. “The scene is already so male-dominated and I was like… ‘OK, I’m going to be very honest and I’m not going to apologize for the way that I feel about this.’ When people are pushing boundaries, they’re bound to get backlash. I’ve dealt with backlash my whole life—being gay, being a woman, being biracial. I’m OK with being that person who rocks the boat a little bit.” Being a queer woman emerging from a genre that’s notorious for being laden with homophobia and misogyny makes the EP’s mission statement of wanting to break down that ceiling (“I went and built myself a throne, don’t need no seat at the table”) and being the change you’re trying to see, along with the playful proclamations of how “women really love it when she talks that shit,” all the more crucial. Berry is fully aware of the importance of leading by example. It’s her steadfast determination to beat the odds and say, “I’m here,” despite the obstacles laid out in front of her, that makes her stand out in a sea of copycat Soundcloud rappers. “We’ve heard a lot of the same stories in rap. I’m not about it. I’m ready to change that up.” Shle Berry performs at 88Nine Radio Milwaukee’s 414 Live on Thursday, Aug. 8, at 5:30 p.m.

A U G U S T 1 , 2 0 1 9 | 31

::THISWEEKINMILWAUKEE

::LOCALMUSIC

THURSDAY, AUG. 1

Ozaukee County Fair @ Ozaukee County Fairgrounds

One of the last free fairs in the Midwest, the Ozaukee County Fair has been held since 1859. Attractions include live music, truck and tractor pulls, a full midway, fireworks, demolition derbies, horse shows, contests and kids entertainment. The Fair will also have 4-H and livestock exhibits and judging. Thursday’s headliner is Nashville recording artist Tyler Farr with opening act Wire and Nail.

The Great Hunger Book Sale @ All Saints’ Cathedral

For the 38th year, All Saints has changed books into food in perhaps the largest used book sale in Metro Milwaukee. Last year’s proceeds benefitted five free meal sites, six agencies with food programs, six local organizations with food-related costs and three charities fighting world hunger.

Clave y Afinque @ Colectivo Lakefront’s Música del Lago Latin Music Performance Series, 7 p.m.

Created by Jesus “Joey” Burgos, whose experience in Latin music began with the first Latin group to perform at Summerfest, Los Hermanos Burgos, and went on through La Controversia, Felix Burgos Sextet, La Tropicana and Madisalsa. After working in Milwaukee, Burgos ventured to Puerto Rico where he recorded with Tempo 74. He composed, recorded and sang lead vocals on a hit on the island, “El Conflicto,” before returning to Milwaukee and forming Clave y Afinque.

SATURDAY, AUG. 3 Historic Bay View Walking Tour @ South Shore Park Pavilion, 9:30 a.m.

On this fun and informative walk, participants learn about the original village of Bay View, which was built in 1867 as the company town for the Milwaukee Iron Company. The length of the annual walk is approximately two miles and covers the area from South Shore Park north to Conway Street between Lake Michigan and the Lake Parkway.

SUNDAY, AUG 4, 2019 Rain or Shine 9am–4pm

Gateway Technical College Campus

1001 South Main St., Racine, WI

FREE ADMISSION 110+ Artists!

Everything priced under $300

Ben Rosenblum Trio @ Jazz Gallery Center for the Arts, 7 p.m.

Art Boutique Silent Auction Art Raffle Food Trucks Live Music Kidz Korner Photo Spot

r Fund-raise to Support s! Scholarship photo credit: Greg Lebrick

www.racineartguild.com /RacineSAF

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MONDAY, AUG. 5 Since the release of his debut trio album Instead, the New York-based jazz pianist, accordionist and composer has toured with his trio throughout the United States, Canada and Japan. He was a featured soloist at Carnegie Hall’s Stern-Perelman Auditorium with Reona Ito’s New York Harmonic Band. Rosenblum’s second album, River City, was called “richly romantic” and “well-realized” by JAZZIZ Magazine.

LIFES

LIFES Play Hardcore Punk with Relentless Intensity ::BY MICHAEL CARRIERE

t’s certainly not easy listening, but Treading Water—the debut LP from Milwaukee-based hardcore combo LIFES—is one of the best records to come out of the city’s diverse music scene this year. The album is particularly satisfying for those who have followed the long musical careers of band members Zak Holochwost (drums-vocals) and Dave Rudnik (bass-vocals), punk-rock lifers who played in such seminal acts as Seven Days of Samsara, Get Rad, Kung Fu Rick, and Conquest for Death. Hardcore is usually a young person’s game, but forty-somethings Holochwost and Rudnik have managed to create something that sounds fresh while simultaneously feeding off their decades of experience playing heavy, intense music. One of the most appealing aspects of Treading Water is the fact that it wastes no time in establishing its relentless tone. As veteran musicians, LIFES knows what works and use that knowledge to craft a confident, streamlined sound that doesn’t need a whole lot of bells and whistles to be effective. This approach has come with age, particularly as both Holochwost and Rudnik are now fathers. “We certainly have less time now,” says Holochwost with a laugh, “Which then influences how we practice and write. I feel like there’s not a lot of pressure with the band, as family comes first. So, we go in spurts of writing. That’s just, logistically speaking, how we have to write.” Ev-

ery parent knows that time is perhaps the most valuable commodity, and LIFES doesn’t waste a second on Treading Water. Illustrative of this approach to songwriting is evident on album standout “Facts of Lifes,” which needs only 90 seconds to sonically overwhelm the listener. Yet “Facts of Lifes” is also noteworthy for another reason: it is one of multiple songs on Treading Water that discusses the loss of childhood innocence. “There’s deﬁnitely songs about kids on the record,” notes Rudnik, who pens the lyrics of “Facts of Lifes” as almost a guide to explaining the hard realities of death to his children. “Well I wish I had an answer, but life’s just a mystery,” Rudnik screams, “and everyone that claims to have one is promoting a fallacy/Well, the lesson I teach is that all of us each only have one chance.” Traditionally, hardcore has celebrated violence and used imagery associated with death to cultivate a certain image for the genre. In a remarkably refreshing way, LIFES have used the chaos associated with hardcore to draw attention to the confusion that often goes hand-in-hand with death and dying. Album closer “It’ll Probably Get Better One Day” also touches on these topics of death of violence, with Rudnik writing “If I had grown up in a house of guns, I might have gone Columbine on someone/But instead, I just wanted to die.” Here, Rudnik is reliving the trauma LIFES of his youth with a candor not Company usually heard in the hardcore Brewing scene. Saturday, “I’ve been fucking torAug. 3, mented by sixth grade my 10 p.m. entire life,” he explains. “It’s disturbing how often I can look back on that speciﬁc year of my life and how much I hated it.” For Rudnik, this pain is made even more acute as he considers the possibility of his own children having to live through such suffering. Yet Rudnik did not ultimately hurt anybody; instead, as he writes, “I kept on skating and I started writing songs.” That’s advice that more kids need to hear. LIFES perform at Company Brewing opening for Jerome’s Dream on Saturday, Aug. 3, at 10 p.m.. SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::CONCERTREVIEW

Amyl and The Sniffers Sweet and Sweaty at Cactus Club ::BY ANDY TURNER

my Taylor, lead singer of Melbourne, Australia’s Amyl and The Sniffers, confided to the Cactus Club crowd Thursday night that nine weeks on the road had taken a bit of a toll on her mind. After an oh-so-brief moment of reflection, she responded with the only remedy for her condition she seemed to know: rowdy rock ‘n’ roll. Opening Milwaukee bands Rexxx and law/ less added to the charged feeling in the air. Rexxx was great fun, with a lead singer that seemed to have developed his gruff, loud vocal style by screaming at the Crusher statute until he passed out. They ended their set with a terrific cover of The Jesus and Mary Chain’s

“Head On.” Law/less was instantly appealing with great, grinding/buzzing guitar sound and Bonnie Chandek’s wild-eyed, commanding vocals – especially on the hard-charging “War (on the Poor).” Taylor took flight from the stage as the band launched into another song, flinging her body into the packed audience. A sweet and sweaty release, no doubt, given over and over again to the audience throughout the entire set. The crowd was dancing, slamming, pumping their fists, chanting, jumping from the stage, hanging from the rafters and generally losing their minds for more than an hour. Arriving in Milwaukee with their debut full-length album recently released on ATO Records in America (and on the legendary Rough Trade in Britain), Amyl and The Sniffers have already generated an international buzz through a handful of great singles and EPs and their maniac live shows. The likes of Gucci and the Foo Fighters are among those who have succumbed to the mulleted quartet’s potent, scuzzy, ’70s-inspired punk rock. With spiky peroxide blonde hair, Taylor never stopped moving throughout the show. Occasionally she banged her head incredibly fast in kind of a rotating fashion, like one of those pencil eraser tops you had as a kid that you would spin like crazy in your hands to make its hair go wild. She was incredibly fun to watch as she teased and pleased the audience. At one point, Taylor instructed the crowd to be nice to each other, but in her next breath, stressed the importance of rowdiness. Rowdiness was certainly achieved as the band delivered sing-along anthems like “Shake Ya,” on which The Sniffers shined instrumentally. The excellent “Got You,” should be the next one on your next sticky Valentine playlist (“I dunno what, but it feels like something/I got you). A completely thrilling set from beginning to end.

Amyl and the Sniffers PHOTO BY JAMIE WDZIEKONSKI SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::NATIONALACT

The Figgs

With Strong Wisconsin Ties, The Figgs Return to MKE

::BY ANDY TURNER

he world is not exactly telling them they want more music from The Figgs, admits bassist and founding member Pete Donnelly. But that’s not stopping the band, who once named an album Sucking in Stereo. “We keep putting out music basically out of being stubborn,” he says during a phone interview as he recovered from a root canal. How stubborn, exactly? Try triple-LP stubborn. The rock ’n’ roll trio, formed in 1987 in Saratoga Springs, N.Y., will soon release Shady Grove, the third and final album in what The Figgs call their Ted Trio (also including 2015’s Other Planes of Here and 2016’s On the Slide). Ted was Ted Collins, keyboardist for The Figgs in the studio and at some East Coast live dates, who died unexpectedly in 2017 just short of his 50th birthday. Donnelly and fellow Figgs Mike Gent and Pete Hayes had been friends with Collins since college, before the band even started. His death came out of nowhere, Donnelly says, and saying goodbye has not been easy. Fortunately, Collins’ keyboard and influence are still felt on Shady Grove, which the band began work on in late 2016. “I’m so happy Ted is all over this record,” Donnelly says. Shady Grove was a “massive project” that saw The Figgs record in several Northeast studios between gigs over nearly three years. Donnelly says a lot of songs started with a member bringing in a half-finished song and then submitting it to the “primordial ooze” of the band in the studio. One song came from an 11-minute improvisational jam that Donnelly then converted into a seven-minute song after also writing lyrics. “The songs would tell us who they wanted to be,” he says, “and we would just finish The Figgs them.” The Figgs already have enough material for their next Circle A Café album, which Donnelly says will be more focused. Wednesday, The Figgs have long had a strong connection to Wisconsin, not Aug. 7, 8 p.m. only playing many shows across the state over the years, but also releasing music by both The Figgs and Donnelly and Gent’s solo albums on Milwaukee native Jon Phillips’ Good Land Records. “We have a simpatico relationship with the music scene in Wisconsin,” Donnelly says. He attributes the beginning of the relationship to friendships with Boris the Sprinkler’s Norb Rozek (also a columnist for Maximum RockNRoll), and Tom Smith of Exclusive Company in Green Bay, both early champions of the band. Donnelly says he feels utterly disconnected to music as a business. The thrill and communal nature of art remains the hook. “The music is just this thing that keeps us going,” he says. The Figgs will play at the Circle A Café on Wednesday, August 7, at 8 p.m. Winter Bear will open the show. A U G U S T 1 , 2 0 1 9 | 33

MUSIC::LISTINGS To list your event, go to shepherdexpress.com/events and click submit an event

THURSDAY, AUGUST 1

411 East Wisconsin Center, Tunes@Noon: Roxie Beane (12pm) Anodyne Coffee, Joseph Huber album release w/Driveway Thriftdwellers Bayshore Town Center, Bayshore Sounds of Summer: 5 Card Studs (6pm) Cathedral Square Park, Jazz in the Park: The Jimmy’s (6pm) Colectivo Lakefront, Música del Lago Music Series: Clave y Afinque County Clare Irish Inn & Pub, Acoustic Irish Folk w/Barry Dodd Green Tree Community Garden, Rhythm & Blooms Concert Series: Larry Moore (6pm) Jazz Estate, Extra Crispy Brass Band LD’s BBQ (East Troy), Robert Allen Jr. (6pm) Marcus Center For The Performing Arts, Live @ Peck Pavilion: Milwaukee Smooth Jazz Tribute (7pm) Marcus Center For The Performing Arts, Live @ Peck Pavilion: WhiskeyBelles (12pm) Mason Street Grill, Mark Thierfelder Jazz Trio (5:30pm) Matty’s Bar & Grille (New Berlin), Smokin’ Live & Local: Mark Croft (5pm) McAuliffe’s On The Square, Open Mic Night On The Bayou, Open Mic Comedy w/host The Original Darryl Hill Pabst Theater, Gregory Alan Isakov w/Haley Heynderickx Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Keith Pulvermacher Riverside Theater, DaBaby w/Polo G, Lingo Nation & Casino Mel Rounding Third Bar and Grill, World’s Funniest Free Comedy Show Shaker’s Cigar Bar & World Cafe, Prof. Pinkerton & the Magnificents Shank Hall, Milwaukee Comedy Festival w/Todd Barry Sheryl’s Club 175 (Slinger), Acoustic Jam w/Milwaukee Mike & Downtown Julius The Cheel / The Baaree (Thiensville), A Night of Magic w Glen Gerard (6:30pm) Turner Hall Ballroom, Gin Blossoms Up & Under, No Vacancy Comedy Open Mic Nite

FRIDAY, AUGUST 2

Ally’s Bistro (Menomonee Falls), Kaye Berigan Quartet American Legion Post #399 (Okauchee), Sawyer Road Band American Legion Post #449 (Brookﬁeld), David Hall Angelo’s Piano Lounge, Julie’s Piano Karaoke Bremen Cafe, White Knuckles w/Unamused Dave, The Keystones & Hey Thanks! Camp Dundee Bar & Grill (Campbellsport), Robert Allen Jr. (6pm) Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: The Modoestes w/Lovas (8pm); DJ: Miss LaFontaine & Dawn Wiener (10pm)

Clarke Hotel (Waukesha), Dick Eliot Jazz Guitar (6pm) Comedy Sportz, ComedySportz Milwaukee! Company Brewing, DJ Bizzon presents The Turn Up! Yams On Yams Edition County Clare Irish Inn & Pub, Traditional Irish Ceilidh Session Crush Wine Bar (Waukesha), CP & Stoll w/Chris Peppas & Jeﬀ Stoll Five O’Clock Steakhouse, Christopher’s Project Friends of Lakeshore State Park, Urban Island Beach Party Golden Mast Inn (Okauchee), Joe Kadlec (6:30pm) Iron Mike’s, Jam Session w/Steve Nitros & the Liquor Salesmen Jazz Estate, Friday Night Disco Jazz with Marcya Kochanski’s Concertina Beer Hall, Melonfarmers Lakefront Brewery, Brewhaus Polka Kings (5:30pm) Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Riverwest Roots Night: J.R. & The Strangers, Wise Jennings, The MilBillies & Wolves With Virginia Mamie’s, Gary Cain Band Mason Street Grill, Phil Seed Trio (6pm) Mezcalero Restaurant, DogHouse Charlie Pizzeria Piccola, Texas Dave Trio (6pm) Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Eric Barbieri Acoustic Duo Rave / Eagles Club, Corrosion Of Conformity w/Crowbar, Quaker City Night Hawks & Lo-Pan (all-ages, 7:30pm) Shank Hall, Milwaukee Comedy Festival w/Judah Friedlander The Back Room, Summer Salt w/Dante Elephante & Motel Radio The Cheel / The Baaree (Thiensville), Friday Night Live: Maple Road Blues Band (6pm) The Miramar Theatre, Shades w/VCTRE (all-ages, 9pm) Turner Hall Ballroom, Joyce Manor Saves the Day w/awakebutstillinbed Twisted Fisherman, Kojo Reggae Up & Under, Ako

SATURDAY, AUGUST 3

Bremen Cafe, LUXI w/Damn the Witch Siren, Cream Vellum & The Stash Cactus Club, A Giant Dog w/Platinum Boys, Rexxx & Saebra & Carlyle Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: The Hullmen w/Ponymen (8pm); DJ: Edina Flo (10pm) Comedy Sportz, ComedySportz Milwaukee! Company Brewing, Jeromes Dream w/LIFES & Snag Five O’Clock Steakhouse, Charles Barber Fox Point Farmers’ Market, Barb &Tom Webber (10am) Jazz Estate, Latin Night with with Cache (8pm), Late Night Session: Jesse Montijo Group (11:30pm) Kochanski’s Concertina Beer Hall, Pete Freeman & The Fritos w/Chris Head & The Honchos, and Chris Haise Mamie’s, Mamie’s Pig Roast: The Blues Disciples w/Stokes & The Old Blues Boys (4pm)

Mason Street Grill, Jonathan Wade Trio (6pm) Mezcalero Restaurant, The Falcons Miller Time Pub, Matt MF Tyner (10pm) Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Saturday Detention Riverside Theater, Wu-Tang Clan 36 Chambers 25th Anniversary Celebration Tour w/Madhatter & Bizzon Saint Kate, the Arts Hotel, Jack and Jill Jazz: Jack Grassel & Jill Jensen (5pm) Shank Hall, Milwaukee Comedy Festival w/Beth Stelling The Cheel / The Baaree (Thiensville), Jamfrango The Landing at Hoyt Park, Matt”MF”Tyner (5pm) The Miramar Theatre, DubHub Takeover w/Calcium & Outage (all-ages, 9pm) The Rock Sports Complex, In the Umbrella Bar: Clove (6:30pm) Turner Hall Ballroom, The Menzingers w/The Sidekicks and Queen of Jeans Twisted Fisherman, Gizzae Reggae Up & Under, Video Dead

SUNDAY, AUGUST 4

Angelo’s Piano Lounge, Live Karaoke w/Julie Brandenburg Anodyne Coﬀee Roasting Co. (Walker’s Point), Cactus Club Presents: F I N K E L, Seasaw & Cullah BMO Harris Pavilion @ Summerfest, JoJo Siwa w/The Belles Cactus Club, A Place to Bury Strangers w/Brief Candles Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: Sunkin Suns w/Hopper’s Luck (8pm); DJ: Trail Boss Tim Cook (10pm) J&B’s Blue Ribbon Bar and Grill, The Players Jam Matty’s Bar & Grille (New Berlin), Summer Concert w/G&R Duo (3pm) Ozaukee County Fair, Matt ”MF” Tyner & Rolf Wessel Duo (1pm) Pabst Milwaukee Brewery & Taproom, The Blues Disciples (4pm) Rounding Third Bar and Grill, The Dangerously Strong Comedy Open Mic Route 20 (Sturtevant), Sevendust w/Burden of the Sky & Imperial Fall (ages 18-plus, 8pm) The Back Room, Jamestown Revival w/John Craigie The Cheel / The Baaree (Thiensville), Sunday Funday: Soulfoot Mombits (4pm) The Tonic Tavern, Third Coast Blues w/Greg Koch & Anthony Deutsch (4pm) Turner Hall Ballroom, Ari Shaﬃr: Jew

MONDAY, AUGUST 5

Bremen Cafe, Comedy Open Mic (8pm), Music Open Mic (10pm) Cactus Club, It Looks Sad. (Tiny Engines) w/Unitaskers Jazz Estate, Jazz Estate Jam Session Lake Park Summer Stage, Musical Mondays: The R&B Cadets (6:30pm) Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Poet’s Monday w/host Timothy Kloss & featured reader Carly Ravnikar (sign-up 7:30pm, 8-11pm)

ink Dr

s with a kick

Mason Street Grill, Joel Burt Duo (5:30pm) Paulie’s Pub and Eatery, Open Jam w/hosts Josh Becker, Annie Buege, Ally Hart or Marr’lo Parada Up & Under, Open Mic w/Marshall McGhee and the Wanderers

TUESDAY, AUGUST 6

Brewtown Eatery, Blues & Jazz Jam w/Jeﬀ Stoll, Joe Zarcone & David “Harmonica” Miller (6pm) Chill On the Hill (Humboldt Park), Golden Grenades w/The Lovebugs & Repeat the Process (6pm) Jazz Estate, B~Free & Quinten Farr Duo Jazz Gallery Center for the Arts / Riverwest Artists Association, Tuesday Night Jazz Jam Kilbourn-Kadish Park, Skyline Music: Betsy Ade & the WellKnown Strangers (5:30pm) Kim’s Lakeside (Pewaukee), Full Band Open Jam w/Robert Allen Jr. Mamie’s, Open Blues Jam w/Marvelous Mack Mason Street Grill, Jamie Breiwick Group (5:30pm) Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Al White (4pm) Red Circle Inn, Dick Eliot & Greg Shaﬀer (6pm) The Cheel / The Baaree (Thiensville), Alive After 5: Barefoot Duo w/Tom Holland (6pm) Transfer Pizzeria Cafe, Transfer House Band w/Dennis Fermenich

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 7

Action Power Sports, Bike Night at Action Power Sports Waukesha Bremen Cafe, Wyatt Moran w/Green Top & CRLSS Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: The Figgs (8pm); DJ: Circle-A Jukebox (10pm) Deer District, Beer Garden: Marr’Lo Prada (5pm) Hubbard Park (Shorewood), Summer Sounds: Electri-Violet (6pm) Hudson Business Lounge, Jazz at Noon: Don Linke and Friends Iron Mike’s, B Lee Nelson & KZ Acoustic Jam Jazz Estate, Molly Pufall-Brown Quartet Kochanski’s Concertina Beer Hall, Polka Open Jam Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Acoustic Open Stage w/feature Paul Z (sign-up 7:30pm, start 8pm) Mason Street Grill, Jamie Breiwick Group (5:30pm) Pabst Theater, Bruce Hornsby & The Noisemakers w/S. Carey Paulie’s Field Trip, Wednesday Night Afterparty w/Dave Wacker & guests Pere Marquette Park, River Rhythms: Mellencougar (6:30pm) Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Al White Racine Zoo, Animal Crackers Concert Series: Jazmin Ghent Shank Hall, Dan Baird and Homemade Sin Tally’s Tap & Eatery (Waukesha), Tomm Lehnigk The Cheel / The Baaree (Thiensville), Ethan Keller & Nathan Pﬂughoeft (6:30pm) Washington Park, Washington Park Wednesdays: Revel In Dimes w/K-Stamp and members of Dead Man’s Carnival (5pm)

Mamie’s 3300 W. NATIONAL AVE. (414) 643-1673

Celebrating 38 years of Business, Friendship & Hangovers

PIG & CHICKEN ROAST — SAT, AUGUST 3 — LIVE MUSIC Noon-4pm STOKES & THE OLD BLUES BOYS 4-8pm BLUES DISCIPLES

8/1 Gosa, Gray, Noyes

Menu items for the pig roast are sold a la carte.

8/8 Shle Berry

10% of Proceeds will be donated to missing and abused children 718 E. Burleigh St. Next to ART BAR open @ 7pm Wed-Sat

34 | A U G U S T 1 , 2 0 1 9

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Full Time Workers Needed! Siding, Roofing, Building, Cement, Drywalling, Flooring & More. Pay Based On Experience! Email Contact Information & Resume To: Info@ MilwaukeeConstruction.com

SERVICES SHEEHAN CONSTRUCTION Brick, Block, Stone, Stucco, Tuck pointing, Chimneys, Retaining Walls. Concrete Work. New and repair. Free Estimates. Accepts credit cards. Call John: 414-258-9838. Junk Removal Basement, Attic, Garage, Yard Waste & Household Clean Outs! 414-807-0257 Cash & Credit Cards Accepted! Denied Social Security Disability? Appeal! If you’re 50+, filed for SSD and denied, our attorneys can help you get approved! No money out of pockets! Call 1-844-2187289 (AAN CAN)

Catch our weekly Brewers Insights and Analysis at shepherdexpress. com/Sports

Ask the Dentist like the paper, but on radio

TO BUY WANTED TO BUY Older, pull-behind Travel Trailer Camper Wanted. Call or Text 262-903-7522 veteransday@hotmail.com

Tune in to Riverwest Radio (104.1 FM) at 9:30 a.m. on the last Friday of each month to get the inside scoop on what’s coming to the paper.

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A U G U S T 1, 2 0 1 9 | 35

HE SAID, SHE SAID

THEME CROSSWORD

By James Barrick

Complete the grid so that every row, column and 3x3 box contains every digit from 1 to 9 inclusively.

36 | A U G U S T 1, 2 0 1 9

DOWN 1. School subject 2. Yearn 3. Cervine animal 4. — vera 5. Large green insects 6. Utah’s — Canyon 7. Shreds 8. Native of: Suffix 9. Edible tuber: 2 wds. 10. Flora and fauna 11. Paquin and Magnani 12. Blue 13. Speed limit abbr. 14. Ornamental tree: 2 wds. 15. Regret 16. Discord personified 17. Storage structure

18. Eager 24. Compare 25. Scour 30. Minced oath 32. Do a tailor’s job 33. — majesty 34. Category 35. A pachyderm, for short 36. Org. 37. Let it stand! 39. Outbuilding 40. Moving around 41. Promotes 42. D-I link 44. Narratives 46. Musical dramas 47. Instruct 50. Box office failure 54. Hosp. area 55. Radioactive gas 57. Write- — (account entries) 58. Rest 60. Brake part 61. Makes a nighttime noise 63. Ventilate 64. Old computing devices 65. Portal 66. “The Merry —” 67. — -de-France 68. Task

69. Pines 72. Antelope 73. Curie or Antoinette 74. Pay out 75. Eastern European 76. Watches 77. Abominable Snowman 78. Actions against property 79. Cygnet 82. Go slowly and carefully 83. Menace 84. Almond liqueur 86. Overthrew 87. Ponder 88. Old office machine 90. Willow rod 95. Ink for copiers 96. French department 97. Strikes 98. Complain 99. Kind of surgeon 100. Puerto — 101. French noggin 102. Roasting rod 103. Agents: Hyph. 104. Plague 105. Inner: Prefix 106. Nipa palm 109. Chapeau 110. Tool: Var.

Solution to last week’s puzzle

7/25 Solution

WORD FIND This is a theme puzzle with the subject stated below. Find the listed words in the grid. (They may run in any direction but always in a straight line. Some letters are used more than once.) Ring each word as you find it and when you have completed the puzzle, there will be 36 letters left over. They spell out the alternative theme of the puzzle.

All creatures great and small Solution: 36 Letters

83. Beginner: Var 84. Wide-awake 85. Part 5 of quip: 3 wds. 89. Part 6 of quip: 2 wds. 91. Florentine navigator 92. Bird 93. Made smooth 94. OT book: Abbr. 95. Scrabble pieces 97. — Gawain 98. Eye part 101. “The Owl and the Pussy-Cat went — —...” 102. Climbing plant: 2 wds. 107. Saharan 108. End of the quip: 3 wds. 111. Hurry 112. Trencherman 113. Sign over a door 114. Seed coat 115. Trudge 116. One cubic meter 117. Earns 118. Way ahead: 2 wds.

Albatross Alpaca Arabian leopard Asp Ass Badger Bear Bird Black panther Boa Box jellyfish Bug

Bull Camel Carp Cat Cephalopod Cheetah Chinchilla Clam Cod Constrictor Cow Crow Deer Devil Dog

Donkey Duck Eel Egret Elk Emu Goat Okapi Oxen Puma Seal Yak Zebu

7/25 Solution: Our famous national treasure SHEPHERD EXPRESS

Solution: Every colour, shape and size you can imagine

ACROSS 1. “Call Me —” 6. Young sprat 10. Ointments 15. Schoolroom item 19. Amtrak service name 20. Coolidge or Hayworth 21. Bungling 22. Toledo’s waters 23. Start of a quip by Sam Levenson: 4 wds. 26. Fortune 27. Vilified ones 28. Group of eight 29. Willie the singer 31. Presidential nickname 32. Wall hanging 33. Toy block brand 34. Ballet step 38. “— Grant” 39. Discrete 43. Part 2 of quip 45. Part 3 of quip: 4 wds. 48. Church areas 49. Aid in crime 51. Primp 52. Small but powerful boat 53. See 54. Prince in opera 55. Interpret 56. Stone artifact 59. Org. kin 60. Con 61. Wraparound garment 62. Evergreen trees 63. Part 4 of quip: 4 wds. 68. A Muse 70. Unwelcome cries 71. Some paints 72. Letters 75. Supporting beams 77. Story 78. Ore deposit 79. — -happy 80. Chaney the actor 81. Artistic work

Creators Syndicate 737 3rd Street • Hermosa Beach, CA 90254 310-337-7003 • info@creators.com

Date: 8/1/19

::FREEWILLASTROLOGY ::BY ROB BREZSNY LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Let’s check in with our psychic journalist, LoveMancer, who’s standing by with a live report from inside your imagination. What’s happening, LoveMancer? “Well, Rob, the enchanting creature on whose thoughts I’ve been eavesdropping has slipped into an intriguing frontier. This place seems to be a hot zone where love and healing interact intensely. My guess is that being here will lead our hero to breakthrough surges of love that result in deep healing, or deep healing that leads to breakthrough surges of love—probably both.” VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Virgo figure skater Scott Hamilton won an Olympic gold medal and four World Championships. He was a star who got inducted into the United States Olympic Hall of Fame and made a lot of money after he turned professional. “I calculated once how many times I fell during my skating career—41,600 times,” he testified in his autobiography. “But here’s the funny thing: I also got up 41,600 times. That’s the muscle you have to build in your psyche—the one that reminds you to just get up.” In accordance with current astrological omens, Virgo, I’ll be cheering you on as you strengthen that muscle in your psyche during the coming weeks. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): What’s the story of your life? Psychologist James Hillman said that in order to thrive, you need to develop a clear vision of that story. How do you do that? Hillman advised you to ask yourself this question: “How can I assemble the pieces of my life into a coherent plot?” And why is this effort to decode your biography so important? Because your soul’s health requires you to cultivate curiosity and excitement about the big picture of your destiny. If you hope to respond with intelligence to the questions and challenges that each new day brings, you must be steadily nourished with an expansive understanding of why you are here on earth. I bring these ideas to your attention, Libra, because the coming weeks will be an excellent time to illuminate and deepen and embellish your conception of your life story. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “Artists are people driven by the tension between the desire to communicate and the desire to hide,” wrote psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott. I think that description fits many people born under the sign of the Scorpio, not just Scorpio artists. Knowing how important and necessary this dilemma can be for you, I would never glibly advise you to always favor candid, straightforward communication overprotective, strategic hiding. But I recommend you do that in the coming weeks. Being candid and straightforward will serve you well. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Sagittarian poet Aracelis Girmay writes, “How ramshackle, how brilliant, how haphazardly & strangely rendered we are. Gloriously, fantastically mixed & monstered. We exist as phantom, monster, miracle, each a theme park all one’s own.” Of course, that’s always true about every one of us. But it will be extraordinarily true about you in the coming weeks. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you will be at the peak of your ability to express what’s most idiosyncratic and essential about your unique array of talents and specialties. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Sometime soon, I suspect you will arrive at a crossroads in your relationship with love and sex—as well as your fantasies about love and sex. In front of you: a hearty cosmic joke that would mutate your expectations and expand your savvy. Behind you: an alluring but perhaps confusing call toward an unknown future. To your left: the prospect of a dreamy adventure that might be only half-imaginary. To your right: the possibility of living out a slightly bent fairytale version of romantic catharsis. I’m not here to tell you what you should do, Capricorn. My task is simply to help you identify the options. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): How many handcuffs are there in the world? Millions. Yet there are far fewer different keys than that to open all those handcuffs. In fact, in many countries, there’s a standard universal key that works to open most handcuffs. In this spirit, and in accordance with current astrological omens, I’m designating August as Free Yourself from Your Metaphorical

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

Handcuffs Month. It’s never as complicated or difficult as you might imagine to unlock your metaphorical handcuffs; and for the foreseeable future it will be even less complicated and difficult than usual for you. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): People who sneak a gaze into your laboratory might be unnerved by what they see. You know and I know that your daring experiments are in service to the ultimate good, but that may not be obvious to those who understand you incompletely. So perhaps you should post a sign outside your lab that reads, “Please don’t leap to premature conclusions! My inprogress projects may seem inexplicable to the uninitiated!” Or maybe you should just close all your curtains and lock the door until your future handiwork is more presentable. PS: There may be allies who can provide useful feedback about your explorations. I call them the wounded healers. ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Dear Diary: Last night my Aries friend dragged me to the Karaoke Bowling Alley and Sushi Bar. I was deeply skeptical. The place sounded tacky. But after being there for 20 minutes, I had to admit that I was having a fantastic time. And it just got better and more fun as the night wore on. I’m sure I made a fool of myself when I did my bowling ball imitation, but I can live with that. At one point, I was juggling a bowling pin, a rather large piece of sweet potato tempura and my own shoe while singing Led Zeppelin’s ‘Kashmir’—and I don’t even know how to juggle. I have to admit that this sequence of events was typical of my adventures with Aries folks. I suppose I should learn to trust that they will lead me to where I don’t know I want to go.” TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In his poem “Wild Oats,” poet W. S. Merwin provided a message that’s in perfect alignment with your current astrological needs: “I needed my mistakes in their own order to get me here.” He was not being ironic in saying that; he was not making a lame attempt to excuse his errors; he was not struggling to make himself feel better for the inconvenience caused by his wrong turns. No! He understood that the apparent flubs and miscues he had committed were essential in creating his successful life. I invite you to reinterpret your own past using his perspective. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Even if you’re an ambidextrous, multi-gendered, neurologically diverse, Phoenician-Romanian Gemini with a fetish for pink duct tape and an affinity for ideas that no one has ever thought of, you will eventually find your sweet spot, your power niche and your dream sanctuary. I promise. Same for the rest of you Geminis, too. It might take a while. But I beg you to have faith that you will eventually tune in to the homing beacon of the mother lode that’s just right for you. PS: Important clues and signs should be arriving soon. CANCER (June 21-July 22): What would a normal, boring astrologer tell you at a time like now? Maybe something like this: “More of other people’s money and resources can be at your disposal if you emanate sincerity and avoid being manipulative. If you want to negotiate vibrant compromises, pay extra attention to good timing and the right setting. Devote special care and sensitivity to all matters affecting your close alliances and productive partnerships.” As you know, Cancerian, I’m not a normal, boring astrologer, so I wouldn’t typically say something like what I just said. But I felt it was my duty to do so, because right now you need simple, basic, no-frills advice. I promise I’ll resume with my cryptic, lyrical oracles next time. Homework: Fantasize about ways you could make money from doing what you love to do. Report results! Freewillastrology.com. Go to realastrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes and Daily Text Message Horoscopes. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 877873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

::NEWS OF THE WEIRD ::BY THE EDITORS OF ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

Radioactive Rattler

ometimes a routine traffic stop (in this case, for an expired license plate) is the most interesting incident in a cop’s day. So it was on Wednesday, July 10, for Guthrie, Ok., police officers. Around 11 a.m., they stopped a car driven by Stephen Jennings, 40, who had a friend, Rachael Rivera, 30, in the front seat and a timber rattlesnake in a terrarium on the back seat. Jennings told police he had a gun in the car at about the same time they identified the car as stolen, reported KFOR. Upon further search, officers found an open bottle of whiskey (next to the gun) and a container of “yellowish powder” labeled “uranium.” “The uranium is the wild card in that situation,” Guthrie Police Sgt. Anthony Gibbs explained. Jennings told police he was trying to create a “super snake” with the radioactive substance. Charges for Jennings included possession of a stolen vehicle and transporting an open bottle of liquor. Because it was rattlesnake season, his valid hunting and fishing license absolved him of any charges related to the snake. Police are still trying to figure out what charges might be brought regarding the uranium (yes, it actually was uranium).

Dancing on Gudin’s Grave Gen. Charles-Étienne César Gudin de La Sablonnière, one of Napoléon Bonaparte’s “favorite generals,” was killed by a cannonball on Aug. 22, 1812, during the failed French invasion of Russia. Posthumously, he got the star treatment: a street named after him in Paris, his name carved on the Arc de Triomphe and his heart removed and brought home to be placed in a Paris cemetery chapel. But on Saturday, July 6, Reuters reported, a team of archaeologists found what they believe are his remains buried (ironically) beneath the foundation of a dance floor in Smolensk, Russia. Their first clue? Gudin had lost one of his legs below the knee in battle and, indeed, the skeleton was missing its left leg. Scientists will compare the skeleton’s DNA with living descendants of Gudin’s to confirm their suspicions.

Ready to Take the Plunge People in the United Arab Emirates (UAE)

depend heavily on expensive desalination for drinking water. But an Emirati businessman has a novel idea for providing fresh water to the Arabian gulf. Abdulla Alshehi wants to borrow an iceberg from Antarctica, EuroNews reported in May. For six years, Alshehi has been working on a plan to tow an iceberg, as much as 1.25 miles long and a third of a mile wide, the entire 5,500 miles to the UAE coast. He estimates the journey will take 10 months, and the iceberg may lose about 30% of its mass en route, but he believes its presence could provide drinking water to about a million people for five years. A trial run this year will move a smaller iceberg at a cost of $60-80 million. Alshehi believes the cost of the larger project will be $100-150 million.

Mr. Guo in the Kitchen with a Ladle Nearly a year after chef Xiu Bin Wang, 33, was found dead in his room above China Chef carryout restaurant in Brockenhurst, Hampshire, England, police are still trying to figure out how he died, Metro News reported. He apparently suffered a “forceful blow” to the head, and officials first fingered Zhu Long Guo, a colleague at the restaurant who admitted to striking Wang with a ladle during an altercation. “A ladle was seized, and there was a thorough investigation,” Detective Constable Brad Wanless reported at an inquest on Thursday, July 11. But the coroner could not make a definite determination: “I do not accept that there is a clear causal link between the admitted blow with the ladle and the death of Mr. Wang,” senior coroner Grahame Short concluded.

South of the Border A. Janus Yeager, 49, of Dixon, Ill., was arrested on Tuesday, July 9, as she motored toward home with an inflated kiddie pool on the roof of her SUV. CBS2 Chicago reported that Dixon police officers pulled Yeager over after being alerted by other drivers to the fact that there were two children in the pool atop Yeager’s vehicle as she drove home. She told police she took the pool to a friend’s house to inflate it, then had her daughters ride inside it “to hold it down on the drive home.” Yeager was charged with two counts of endangering the health or life of a child and two counts of reckless conduct. © 2019 ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION A U G U S T 1 , 2 0 1 9 | 37

::ARTFORART’SSAKE

Baloney On-a-Shtick ::BY ART KUMBALEK

’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? Yeah yeah, it’s that time of year, so we go again here, a people’s tradition where I tell you’s that I just got off the phone with my pal Little Jimmy Iodine and now I need to take off in a couple, three minutes to head up over by the Uptowner tavern/charm school where me and the fellas shall gather to make our plans for getting out to the greatest focking spectacle on Earth—the Wisconsin State Fair; so it looks like I’ll need to make muy breve of this week’s essay, I kid you not. But as I’ve said before, love the Fair, we do. And it seems every year, after healthfully chowing down on all kind of fried matter served on a stick, me and the guys always gravitate to the Midway, where the amusement rides are guaranteed to be well-maintained and operated by the finest staff of tattooed, toothless safety experts this side of a halfway house for Nazi bikers from hell. And you just can’t beat those games of skill the Midway offers, can you—where the 120-pound guy of short stature wearing the frayed, used-to-begreen tanktop blows 50 focking bucks in the attempt to topple the tripod of bottom-weighted faux milk jugs, so’s to win the buck two-eighty stuffed Gar-

38 | A U G U S T 1 , 2 0 1 9

field for his 400-pound lady friend. Of course, there’s always the sharpster who tries to guess your age and weight for a small stipend, your reward for his failure being a cracked Whiffle ball or listless goldfish. Me and my gang like to play our own game of skill, which is to try to guess which carny/associate technician looks to be the responsible party for the most bodies buried in shallow graves to be found in remote locations above and below the Mason-Dixon Line, east to west. Don’t forget, nearly all these crackerjacks spend the offseason in Florida, which just happens to be Spanish for “serial killer” by-the-by, so what the fock, ain’a? And Little Jimmy said he’s really looking for-

ward to the Fair big-time this year, on account of him feeling a little blue lately. Seems this lady he’s been seeing heard a show on the National Public Radio about diversity so she gave him the heave-ho ’cause she said that their relationship had to be ferkakta, since it skewed too heavily white-European male with 50% representation. I tried to cheer Little Jimmy up and suggested that a guy in a situation like his just can’t win. I said that when I think back to each and every of the nearly less-than-several relationships I’ve sustained over the due course of a lifetime, I remember always being sensitive to gender issues and strongly maintaining the notion that more females get in-

volved. Heck, when it comes to a glass ceiling, I don’t mind being on the bottom as long as I can look up. And the only thing this belief ever got me was a pink slip—and not in a good way. No sir, seems to me that the trials and travails of relationship maintenance is no bed of roses. And come ’tis to think of it, did you ever wonder how good a night’s sleep a guy or gal would actually get if spent on a bed of focking roses, anyways? I’m guessing none too swell. Besides the obvious thorn situation, you’d have a firmness issue to boot. Yeah, it sounds like a great thing but I’ll bet you a buck two-eighty that one night on a bed like that and you’re going to have an aching back for at least a good goddamn week, and who needs that kind of aggravation? Hey, you tell me. And then I’ll tell you in case you didn’t know, that it was the English dramatist and poet Christopher Marlowe who first dreamt the notion of a “bed of roses”—And I will make thee beds of roses—(yeah, thanks for nothing, pal) in The Passionate Shepherd to His Love, his poem all about how badly he’d like to nail an unidentified Brit bimbo back in the days of yore some four-focking-hundred years ago. And I’ll also tell you that it wasn’t exactly “merry olde” England nor a bed of roses for this Marlowe character, no sir. He got his ass kicked bloody dead before the age of 30 back in 1593 during an argument over a tavern bill. (Shocked, shocked I am—a focking poet not being able to hold his liquor.) But before I go, let me ask you’s if you got any idea what’s better than roses on your piano? Hey, how ’bout those tulips on your organ, oh yeah. Bading! ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.

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