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OKLAHOMA RELEASED 462 PEOPLE FROM PRISON IN ONE DAY,

WHY CAN’T WISCONSIN

?

DO THE SAME Next Act Theatre Explores the Meaning of Being Funny ... page 20

Semi-Twang Helps Celebrate Shank Hall Turning 30 ... page 36

SHOW TIME! CHRISTMAS WITH THE CELTS DEC. 9-13

BODEANS DEC. 27

RAY PARKER JR. FEB. 6

NEW OLETA ADAMS FEB. 7 ON SALE 11/21

PATTY SMYTH & SCANDAL 11/22

FRANK CALIENDO 11/23 9:30 PM SHOW ADDED

HILLBILLY CASINO PRESENTS A HOLIDAY HOOTENANNY AT THE CHRISTMAS CARNIVAL 12/19 & 20

PHIL VASSAR CHRISTMAS SHOW 11/29 & 30

JEFFERSON STARSHIP 1/10

EVEN MORE HOLIDAY TALES WITH JOHN MCGIVERN 12/3-5 & 7

AN EVENING WITH ERIC BENÉT 1/17

THE OHIO PLAYERS 1/24

BIG BAD VOODOO DADDY’S WILD & SWINGIN’ HOLIDAY PARTY 12/6

SUPERTRAMP’S ROGER HODGSON WITH BAND 2/17–20

WANT MORE? See all shows on paysbig.com/shows

TICKETS AVAILABLE AT ticketmaster.com or buy & save on fees at the NLT Box Office 1721 WEST CANAL STREET I MILWAUKEE, WI 53233 I MUST BE AT LEAST 21 YEARS OLD TO ATTEND SHOWS FOR MORE INFORMATION, CALL 414-847-7922 I ALL SCHEDULES SUBJECT TO CHANGE I MANAGEMENT RESERVES ALL RIGHTS ©2019 FOREST COUNTY POTAWATOMI COMMUNITY, WISCONSIN

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::NEWS&VIEWS

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FEATURES | POLLS | TAKING LIBERTIES | ISSUE OF THE WEEK

OKLAHOMA RELEASED 462 PEOPLE FROM PRISON IN ONE DAY

DAVE ZYLSTRA

Increasingly, conservative organizations like The Badger Institute and Charles Koch’s Americans for Prosperity are in agreement with groups like WISDOM that mass incarceration is too costly and unfair, especially when it comes to low-level drug crimes. Nevertheless, Wisconsin is falling behind reforms made by both deep red states down south, as well as our closest midwestern neighbors.

A deeper look at what specifically happened in Oklahoma reveals that the mass-commutation was the end of a years-long process of hard-fought struggle by the people against government intractability. Voters in both Wisconsin and Oklahoma have expressed strong support for reform and decarceration, but it seems Wisconsin’s political structures have become less responsive to the will of the people.

Why can’t Wisconsin do the same? ::BY BEN TURK n Monday, Nov. 4, Wisconsinites watched national news coverage of families meeting outside of Oklahoma prisons. On that day, Gov. Kevin Stitt signed the largest single day commutation of prison sentences in U.S. history. Inspiring videos of tearful hugs and joyous reunions filled our television and social media screens. Many in Wisconsin were surprised, wondering how this deep south red state could set hundreds free while our prison population continues to grow.

Wisconsin has a disproportionately high rate of incarceration from laws enacted during the days of Gov. Tommy Thompson, but now the former governor is working to try to undo some of that damage. People who’ve been organizing against mass incarceration in Milwaukee have particularly strong feelings about the current situation. David Liners, executive director of WISDOM, a non-partisan, statewide, grassroots, interfaith organization that focuses on social and racial justice issues in Wisconsin, expressed some of the frustration. “I hope our governor will see Kevin Stitt using his powers to make right something wrong in the system and do the same here,” he says.

4 | NOVEMBER 21, 2019

A Tale of Two Legislatures

The process in Oklahoma started in 2016 with State Questions 780 and 781. These binding initiatives attached to the November ballot that year reclassified simple drug possession as a misdemeanor with no prison time and reinvested savings into rehabilitation programs. The ballot measures passed by 58% and 56% respectively, defeating opposition from police and prosecutors. These initiatives automatically became law and were implemented the following summer.

Unlike Oklahoma, Wisconsin voters can’t make laws directly, however; we can only pass advisory referenda with our ballots. We did so in November 2018. The closest correlate to Oklahoma’s ballot measures were our marijuana legalization referenda in 16 Wisconsin counties, whereby voters were asked to weigh in on legalization for either medical or recreational use. All the referenda came back with majority support for full legalization at 60%. These were both red and blue counties, urban and rural, and the support was amazingly consistent. A poll by Marquette University also consistently finds about 60% support for full marijuana legalization statewide. In Wisconsin, even such large vote margins don’t make law; they only advise law-makers.

However, in Oklahoma, State Question 780 alone did not release anyone from prison. The state legislature and governor’s office had to take action to include people who were charged and sentenced before the law change.

In January 2019, Oklahoma’s House Majority Leader, a Republican from the suburbs of Oklahoma City, introduced House Bill 1269, which made SQ 780 retroactive, automatically releasing and expunging the records of those sentenced under the old law. When he introduced the bill, he said: “The people of Oklahoma have spoken loud and clear on the issue of criminal justice reform.” By May, HB 1269 had passed into law, albeit with amendments that somewhat weakened it.

Meanwhile, according to Molly Collins, advocacy director for the Wisconsin ACLU, several marijuana legalization bills are stalled in the Wisconsin Legislature. The margins for our marijuana referenda were greater than those held in Oklahoma, but Collins says none of the bills have a chance right now.

“It’s really important that legislators listen to their constituents and understand that folks are ready to talk about marijuana,” she said, “I remain optimistic that we can work with Republicans and Democrats on this problem, because it really is a crisis that people can’t continue looking away from.” Prison continued on page 6 >

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

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N OV E M B E R 2 1, 2 0 1 9 | 5

NEWS&VIEWS::FEATURE

Keeping Our Water Clean by Adopting a Storm Drain

W

::BY CATHERINE JOZWIK

ATER QUALITY NONPROFIT ORGANIZATION SWEET WATER’S “ADOPT A STORM DRAIN” program makes it easy for Milwaukee-area residents to help prevent flooding, as well as to help keep water clean for humans and wildlife in their neighborhoods.

Sweet Water (Southeastern Wisconsin Watersheds Trust, Inc.) began implementing its Adopt a Storm Drain program about two years ago. It invites participants to “adopt” drains by clearing them of debris and by following easy tips to help prevent water pollution. People can then enter their email address on Respect Our Waters’ website (see below), and the organization will contact them to confirm the location of the storm drain. The drain will then be added to a map of adopted drains located throughout metro Milwaukee.

Some areas of Milwaukee County, such as Wauwatosa, can be overwhelmed with stormwater management during heavy rainfalls. Clearing out storm drains helps reduce flooding in homes during severe storms, which can mean thousands of dollars in damage for homeowners.

“Our main message is, ‘if it’s not rain, it doesn’t belong in a drain,’” says Sweet Water’s acting director, Jake Fincher. In rural areas, stormwater runoff often ends up in lakes and rivers.

“Respect Our Waters” is a Sweet Water campaign that encourages citizens to take action to help ensure clean water in Milwaukee County. Now in its seventh year, the campaign plans to implement an updated website that makes it possible for people all over Wisconsin to participate in adopting a drain. Sweet Water—which currently works with 37 municipalities to help spread awareness about the importance of maintaining clean water—would like to increase its outreach efforts even more in the coming years. “We want to take it to the next step,” Fincher says.

‘It Really Depends on Every Individual to Be Mindful’

Besides the Adopt a Storm Drain program, Milwaukee County residents can take small steps to help prevent water pollution. “There are a number of tips that sound relatively simple but make a really big impact, such as recycling,” Fincher continues. Milwaukee County residents can take small steps to help prevent water pollution, such as picking up pet waste, which contains harmful pathogens that could mix with water, and use salt on driveways sparingly during especially cold months.

“When salt reaches our fresh water, it’s nearly impossible to get out,” Fincher says. “It really depends on every individual to be mindful.”

According to Fincher, the number-one source of water pollution is stormwater, which can easily be contaminated by animal waste and dirt. “It’s not the rain, it’s what the rain picks up,” he explains.

Excessive stormwater can also cause flooding. “If you do something outside and leave it outside, it will end up in the river,” he added. Contrary to what many may people believe, organic materials, including grass clippings and leaves, can also lead to water pollution. For example, grass can cause algae-like blooms, which can be harmful to people and pets. Leaves left on the street, even for a few days, can also cause chemicals like phosphorus to mix with the water supply. “We’ve seen a massive spike of phosphorus in water waste during the fall,” Fincher noted.

Aaron Zeleske, natural environment program manager for Harbor District, Inc., also has a few suggestions for clean water management. “Landscape with native plants instead of turf grass.

When done properly, native plants will absorb more water, keeping it from going into the sewer system. [Native plants] are also better adapted to our climate, can resist droughts and require less watering,” he says. Downspouts should be disconnected from sewers, and gardens should be watered directly. During rainstorms, people should refrain from activities that require lots of water usage, like showering and doing laundry. Also, Zeleske says that hazardous chemicals and substances such as motor oil and lead paint should be taken to “appropriate disposal facilities.”

Along with partnering with neighborhood associations and providing funding for outreach services, Sweet Water and Respect Our Waters often host community engagement events, such as block parties with food, entertainment and a mobile arts van, to help educate Milwaukee-area residents about the importance of clean water.

“We have a direct responsibility to protect what’s going into drains,” Fincher says. “We want our rivers to be clean for fishing, swimming, and, ultimately, drinking water.”

For more information about Sweet Water, visit swwtwater.org.

For more information about the Respect Our Waters campaign and the Adopt a Storm Drain program, visit respectourwaters.org.

Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n

6 | NOVEMBER 21, 2019

> Prison continued from page 4

‘Fulfilling the Will of the People’

The final version of Oklahoma’s HB 1269 also gave responsibilities to the governor.

When passing the state Senate, the automatic effects of the bill were amended out. As passed, the law required people to go through a costly process for expungement and gave the state Pardon and Parole Board a role in commutations. It created a “commutation docket” that mandates the Pardon and Parole Board to recommend release in a single vote rather than the long process of conducting hundreds of individual hearings.

Stitt—a suburban Republican businessman and member of the Cherokee Nation who was elected governor of Oklahoma in November 2018—could have instructed the Pardon and Parole Board to use stringent criteria disqualifying nearly everyone from this commutation docket. Indeed, they did reduce the 814 eligible people they reviewed down to the 526 they recommended for release. Stitt released all but 65, who had retainers from other jurisdictions. Both the board and the governor spoke about “fulfilling the will of the people” when moving forward. They were able to celebrate with Oklahoma’s reunited families.

Wisconsin’s Pardon Advisory Board (PAB) is separate from the Parole Commission, and our 1999 “Truth in Sentencing” law complicates the process further, but the Wisconsin Constitution does give the governor “exclusive and discretionary power to grant reprieves, commutations and pardons.” Former Republican Gov. Scott Walker essentially suspended the PAB, and he issued no pardons during his eight years in office. Gov. Tony Evers has the power to do as Stitt did: Commuting sentences and reuniting families in accordance with the will of the people.

This summer, Evers recreated the PAB to much fanfare; however, he set criteria that excludes all currently incarcerated people from consideration. So far, only 12 people who were convicted of minor, non-violent offenses and who also completed their sentences more than five years ago have received pardons.

For Sylvester Jackson—an organizer with WISDOM affiliate Ex-Incarcerated People Organizing (ExPO)—expanded pardon criteria would offer some hope of redemption and forgiveness from his past. He is currently about a year into a 10-year sentence on extended supervision, following 10 years in prison. “Oklahoma is able to do this without feeling like they’re putting their whole community at risk,” he said. “For me, it brings light and new hope for our campaigns.”

Evers Fighting for Criminal Justice Reform

“Reforming our criminal justice system—and addressing the shameful racial disparities in the system—is a top priority for Gov. Evers,” says Melissa Baldauff, his deputy chief of staff.

“The governor is spending millions of dollars to address the prison population in his first budget; the way we are doing it is by making sure fewer people are incarcerated in the first place,” Baldauff continues. “That includes significant investments in Treatment and Diversion (TAD), expansion of nonviolent offender diversion programs, community policing, wraparound services and early interventions. We’re also helping reduce recidivism through substantial investments in reentry programs that provide essential job training and skills development for returning citizens.

“As well, the governor believes in the power of redemption. That’s why he proposed banning the box in his budget and has begun issuing pardons again. But this work is only the beginning. We look forward to hearing and learning from advocates who share the governor’s commitment to reforming our criminal justice system and making progress toward a more fair and compassionate system,” Baldauff says.

In summary, since there is bipartisan support for this issue of releasing many of those convicted and serving time for non-violent, victimless crimes, the Wisconsin Legislature could put an advisory referendum on the April 2020 ballot clearly addressing this issue to gauge the true level of public support. Assuming the polls are accurate, the support would likely be in the 60% range. Then, Evers could propose legislation that would begin to release these non-violent offenders. If the Legislature fails to listen to the will of the voters and pass the legislation, the Evers could then begin to act unilaterally with his pardon powers.

Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n

“OKLAHOMA IS ABLE TO DO THIS WITHOUT FEELING LIKE THEY’RE PUTTING THEIR WHOLE COMMUNITY AT RISK,” SYLVESTER JACKSON SAID. “FOR ME, IT BRINGS LIGHT AND NEW HOPE FOR OUR CAMPAIGNS.” SHEPHERD EXPRESS

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::SAVINGOURDEMOCRACY ( NOV. 21 - NOV. 27, 2019 ) The Shepherd Express serves as a clearinghouse for all activities in the greater Milwaukee area that peacefully push back against discriminatory, reactionary, racist, homophobic and authoritarian actions and policies of the Donald Trump administration, as well as those of others who likewise seek to thwart social justice.

To submit to this column, please send a brief description of your action, including date and time, to savingourdemocracy@shepex.com.

THURSDAY, NOV. 21

SeeMe4Me Campaign Launch @ Nō Studios, 1037 W. McKinley Ave., 5-8 p.m.

SeeMe4Me is a narrative change initiative created to change the way we view each other and ultimately how we treat each other. This event features the premiere of the organization’s first public service announcement.

SATURDAY, NOV. 23

Peace Action of Wisconsin: Stand for Peace @ the corner of North Port Washington Road and West Silver Spring Drive, noon-1 p.m.

Every Saturday from noon-1 p.m., concerned citizens join with Peace Action of Wisconsin to protest war and literally “Stand for Peace.” Signs will be provided for those who need them. Protesters are encouraged to stick around for conversation and coffee after the protest.

The Future for Bernie @ Peace Action Center, 1001 E. Keefe Ave., 5 p.m.-9 p.m.

The Milwaukee Chapter of the Democratic Socialists of America (DSA) are hosting an all-ages, under-21 event to rally the youth vote. While the under-21 group is a critical part of the progressive movement, they are often excluded from organizing events due to drinking age laws. This is an opportunity to engage them and keep momentum strong. Bernie Sanders wants to radically change the direction of the country by establishing Medicare for All, the Green New Deal, free college, LGBTQ, women’s and civil rights and the abolishment of Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE). The event includes pizza, music, campaign strategizing, voter registration and more.

Homeless Donation Bag Packing @ Salam Elementary School, 815 W. Layton Ave., 11 a.m.-l p.m.

Join the Hanan Refugee Relief Group and help pack 400 bags for homeless people.

Bags will be distributed to Pathfinders, Street Angels and Hope House of Milwaukee.

MONDAY, NOV. 25

HEMAD 2019 @ Convergence Resource Center, 7961 N. 76th St., 7 a.m.-5 p.m.

Men are generally the consumers driving the human sex trafficking industry.

HEMAD is an international men’s group taking a stand against this abuse of human dignity. In Milwaukee, the HEMAD campaign is starting with an event at Convergence Resource Center.

TUESDAY, NOV. 26

Community Harvest Dinner @ Gerald L. Ignace Indian Health Center, Inc., 930 W. Historic Mitchell St., 4 p.m.

November is Native American Heritage Month. Celebrate and give thanks to the folks who were here first.

WEDNESDAY, NOV. 27

Hunger Task Force Fundraiser @ Jackson’s Blue Ribbon Pub, 1203 N. 10th St., 5 p.m.

The entrance fee for entering is a non-perishable food item or money donation for five wings and a tap beer. The event includes a wing eating contest and live music by Listening Party at 7:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m.

Comment at shepherdexpress.com n 8 | NOVEMBER 21, 2019

NEWS&VIEWS::TAKINGLIBERTIES

Billionaires Can’t Buy a New Democracy ::BY JOEL MCNALLY

T

hree months before any votes are cast, no one really knows who will win the Democratic presidential nomination. But as Democrats campaign on expanding affordable health care and reducing taxes on working Americans by reversing enormous Republican tax cuts for millionaires and billionaires, let’s go out on a limb and say the party is unlikely to nominate a billionaire who opposes raising taxes on the wealthy.

Donald Trump may have poisoned the well for another billionaire president for years to come. Trump campaigned on the lie that as an extremely wealthy man who used every trick in the book to pay as little in taxes as possible, he alone could reform the tax system. He would force billionaires, especially Democratic hedge fund managers, to pay more and relieve the tax burden on “forgotten” working Americans in dying industries. Maybe an honest rich man could do that. But as president, Trump promptly forgot “forgotten” Americans and passed a massive, 10-year, $1.5 trillion tax cut going overwhelmingly to wealthy Americans, including himself and his family.

Let’s be clear: There are legions of admirable billionaires in America whose family fortunes, business empires and tax-sheltered foundations underwrite invaluable political reforms, medical research, educational institutions and nonprofits that save the lives of the desperate and vulnerable. The Rockefeller Foundation helped finance the civil rights movement of Martin Luther King Jr. and historic black colleges. The Trump Foundation, on the other hand, settled lawsuits over Trump’s unlawful business practices, bought a six-foot-tall portrait of Trump to hang in one of his country clubs and paid Don Jr.’s Boy Scout dues.

Billionaires for Social Progress

Two socially conscious billionaires, former hedge fund manager Tom Steyer and former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, could soon be fighting head-to-head for the Democratic nomination. They’re not just egotistical, “look-at-me-and-my-money” billionaires. Democrats should be grateful to both.

Steyer founded NextGen in 2013 to organize millennials to fight climate change and increase young voter participation. He contributed more than $234 million to progressive Democratic congressional candidates in 2014, 2016 and 2018 before most voters ever heard of him.

Bloomberg, a Democrat most of his life, served three terms as a primarily progressive New York City mayor, initially elected as a Republican then as an independent before returning to the Democratic Party. He became one of the world’s richest men running a financial services, software and business media company and uses that fortune to finance important Democratic causes, including fighting gun violence

and Republican voter suppression.

But, but, but... Steyer’s candidacy and Bloomberg’s potential candidacy (he says he may announce within days) already are disrupting the Democratic race in problematic ways. Bloomberg says he’ll stay out of the Iowa caucuses and the New Hampshire, South Carolina and Nevada primaries that otherwise might sort out the Democratic field and create momentum for frontrunners. Then, he plans to use massive national advertising aimed at the Super Tuesday primaries March 3, when 14 states choose delegates. If his late entry totally upends the race, a long multi-candidate contest could prevent anyone from securing a delegate majority and create a chaotic, anything-canhappen Milwaukee convention.

On Sunday, Bloomberg began cleaning up his Democratic political liabilities. He apologized to an African American congregation at a black megachurch for his past support of “stop and frisk” practices by New York City police primarily targeting young blacks and Latinos. “Far too many innocent people were being stopped,” Bloomberg said. “That may have included, I’m sorry to say, some of you here today.”

What About Taxes?

But Bloomberg is unlikely to repudiate another stand putting him out of step with many Democrats and possibly even a majority of voters. Most middle-class voters in both parties agree the wealthy pay far less in taxes than they should. Billionaire Bloomberg disagrees. Bloomberg denounces the “wealth taxes” of Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders as a threat to the nation’s economy. He sounds positively Trumpian claiming such taxes would destroy capitalism and turn the U.S. into Venezuela.

At least fellow billionaire Steyer admits wealthy people like himself don’t pay their fair share in taxes. He says he’ll propose his own wealth tax. But there are other ways Steyer uses his wealth to manipulate the political system.

Because Bloomberg would fund his own campaign, he won’t qualify for candidate debates, which currently require participants to have 165,000 individual donors in a wide number of diverse states. So how did billionaire Steyer get into the debates? He bought his way in by spending millions of dollars on Facebook ads soliciting $1 contributions. That’s the direct opposite of the substantial grassroots financial support intended by the requirement.

Billionaires will always have a lot of advantages in our society ordinary Americans don’t.

But billionaires will never be able to buy a brand-new democracy after all the Constitutional wreckage Trump will leave in his wake.

Only a majority of decent American voters can create that.

Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n SHEPHERD EXPRESS

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Depression: A Normal Response?

“I

::BY PHILIP CHARD

’M DEPRESSED, BUT I DON’T SEE THAT AS A PROBLEM,” LARRY TOLD ME.

“Fair enough. So, exactly how do you see it?” I asked.

“Are you paying attention to what’s happening in our world and with our species?” he fired back. “Well, if so and you aren’t depressed, you have a much thicker skin than yours truly.”

Pressured to visit me by concerned family, this 50-ish gentleman believed his depression constituted a normal response to the state of the world and the human condition.

He’s not alone. An increasing number of mental health providers recognize that some folks who are depressed, agitated or suicidal represent “canaries” in our psychological coal mine. The premise is that feeling normal in a crazy world requires being mentally insulated from reality. Given that many folks struggling with depression are highly sensitive, they are more in tune than the “What, me worry?” crowd. Larry fit this pedigree.

“I care too much and can’t turn it off,” he explained. “I’ve tried to ignore what’s happening all around us and just stay focused on my own little corner of the world, but that’s not in my DNA.” When we label someone “depressed,” the implication is that there is something wrong with him or her. We tell these folks that depression is abnormal, a disease of the brain, and, in so many words, encourage them to do something to fix themselves. Usually, this fixing consists of medication, psychotherapy, exercise, nutritional support and the rest.

To be sure, there are some individuals whose depression arises largely from within, rather than in response to their external circumstances or the world in general. Many of these folks suffered emotional trauma as children, harbor a strong genetic predisposition to depression or struggle with brain chemistry running amok. Nonetheless, many so-called depressives are responding to what they see and experience in the world around them.

“The planet is burning, our democracy is on life support, social media is ruining lives, then there are all the suicides, mass shootings, child abuse, homelessness, haters... do you need me to go on?” Larry continued.

I didn’t. His point was clear—that depression is a normal response to our collective madness, and that the problem was not in his mind but out there in the world itself.

“So, my family thinks I need to take a pill or go to therapy to get my head straight. But, from where I sit, my head is on straight. I’m seeing things as they are, and it ain’t pretty.”

A common counter argument applied to folks like Larry is that there’s nothing to gain in being miserable. From this perspective, even if the world seems on the eve of destruction, feeling sullen about it doesn’t change anything. It simply deprives the individual of a measure of happiness.

“Yeah, I’ve heard that line of reasoning before,” Larry added. “Well, maybe some people can flip a mental switch, practice denial and whistle a happy tune, but not this guy. As I see it, the more who stick their heads in the sand, the worse it’s going to get.”

I didn’t encourage Larry to put on a happy face and look at the bright side, which seemed a fool’s errand. However, I did suggest that, in addition to feeling bad about all the mayhem in the world, he might also notice that many people face adversity with courage and persistence, that sometimes the worst brings out our best. That says something about our species, as well.

Helen Keller, who became deaf and blind while only 19 months old, said, “Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.”

Maybe Larry and those like him can find something to feel good about in that.

For more, visit philipchard.com.

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IN FOURTEEN CATEGORIES! N OV E M B E R 2 1, 2 0 1 9 | 11

NEWS&VIEWS::POLL

You Support Veterans’ Benefits for Hmong Soldiers Last week, we asked if you support the currently proposed bill in the Wisconsin Legislature (LRB3658) that would expand the definition of “veteran” to include Hmong and other Laotian soldiers who served alongside U.S. forces during the Vietnam War, thus making these fighters eligible for state benefits. You said: 83% Yes 17% No

What Do You Say?

Donald Trump unexpectedly appeared at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center in Bethesda, Md., last Saturday night as the White House’s press secretary put it, to “begin portions of his routine annual physical exam,” but there are indications the trip wasn’t as routine as they would have us believe.

Do you think it’s more than likely that Trump has undisclosed, perhaps serious health issues?

Yes No Vote online at shepherdexpress.com. We’ll publish the results of this poll in next week’s issue.

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N OV E M B E R 2 1, 2 0 1 9 | 13

::CANNABISCONNECTION THE GO-TO SITE FOR EVERYTHING CANNABIS IN WISCONSIN

We will keep you informed each week about the growing availability of legal cannabis products in Milwaukee and what’s happening at the state level with respect to Wisconsin’s movement towards legalization, what’s happening in other states and in the rest of the world.

TruCannaBliss Educates Customers on Beneficial Cannabinoids ::BY SHEILA JULSON

B

efore opening TruCannaBliss (8311 W. Brown Deer Road) in February 2019, Ostaveeya Tye entered the hemp industry on the growing and processing side before venturing into retail. Tye, along with some partners, obtained grower and processor licenses from the Wisconsin Department of Agriculture, Trade and Consumer Protection for the state’s inaugural 2018 hemp pilot program. They experimented in a small greenhouse in Milwaukee.

“We didn’t have a goal to mass produce or sell it. In this new industry, we wanted to see the process and experiment to find the best way to do things,” Tye says, adding that there are now more resources available to assist those in the emerging hemp industry, such as Facebook groups to get advice and learn from others. “We tweaked the process, and this year, we actually had some plants to harvest. We sell our flower at TruCannaBliss.”

Tye’s background in finance and health care provided her with a foundation for hemp entrepreneurship. But unlike the financial industry, where there are firm guidelines and strict regulations in place, cannabinoids are uncharted territory. “With the cannabidiol (CBD) industry, it’s all over the place and ever-changing, with not a lot of regulations or just one right way to do things,” she notes.

At 2,000 square feet, TruCannaBliss has plenty of room for tinctures, gummies— including a vegan variety—topical creams, pain salves and vapes. The TruCannaBliss full-spectrum tincture is made with CBD flower grown at their greenhouse and processed by an out-of-state lab. They have their own line of salves and lotion. Other CBD brands they carry include Endoca, Charlotte’s Web, Hemp for Health, MedHemp and Hemp for Fitness.

“We try to carry unique products in addition to the typical oils and salves,” Tye explains. “We offer a CBD-infused breast balm for people who have had breast cancer, and we try to carry different cannabinoids like cannabigerol (CBG) and cannabichromene (CBC), which can work better for people with severe conditions or inflammatory problems like neuropathy.”

TruCannaBliss carries approximately 35 different strains of smokable CBD flower, some of which are grown in their greenhouse. The rest are sourced from California, Colorado and Oregon. Their staff, as well as some of their regular customers, sample the flower and provide a synopsis as to how it worked for them. The staff also provides samples of other CBD products to customers and encourages them to give thorough feedback so they can keep the best products on the shelves. There are educational tools such as charts in the store so employees can further assist customers who may not be familiar with the beneficial, non-psychoactive cannabinoids of hemp.

“There are many CBD stores out there, and we want to provide great service and let people try samples because it’s a big commitment for people to buy something they don’t know much about,” Tye emphasizes, adding that CBD products can also be expensive, so they never pressure people into purchasing something they’re unsure about.

Regarding the future of cannabis in Wisconsin, Tye foresees more regulation coming on vaping products. She’s hopeful that medical marijuana will move forward but doesn’t see recreational marijuana becoming legal for a while. “It seems that it’s still too taboo, but there’s pressure (to legalize), especially with Illinois’ new recreational marijuana law—and Milwaukee’s a short drive away.”

For more information, visit trucannabliss.com.

Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n

14 | N O V E M B E R 2 1 , 2 0 1 9

2019 Elections Yield Positive Results for Marijuana ::BY JEAN-GABRIEL FERNANDEZ This month’s state elections in Kentucky, Mississippi and Virginia are worth noting for people who care about marijuana reform.

n Kentucky

Democratic gubernatorial candidate Andy Beshear narrowly defeated the incumbent Republican, Matt Bevin, who finally conceded after a statewide recanvassing of the vote on Thursday, Nov. 14. Governor-elect Beshear is very good news to cannabis enthusiasts, as one of the key points of his platform includes the legalization of medical marijuana. Marijuana, whether it is used medically or recreationally, is still illegal in Kentucky, and legislative reform seems unlikely due to a heavily Republican, anti-marijuana reform state legislature. But to avoid that roadblock to reform, Beshear has promised to “place medical marijuana legalization on the ballot as a constitutional amendment,” recognizing it as a more harmless alternative to opioids.

Beshear also pledged to reform Kentucky’s criminal justice system, addressing the unequal treatment of people of color, who are currently arrested at much higher rates for low-level drug offenses, and claiming nobody should serve jail sentences for possession of small amounts of marijuana. “I’m committed to rooting out the bias and discrimination that exists in our criminal justice system, which leads to disproportionately high incarceration rates for people of color,” Beshear announced. “I will continue to work to ensure that people suffering from addiction are sent to treatment instead of jail.”

n Mississippi

In November 2020, medical marijuana will be on the ballot in Mississippi, thanks to grassroots efforts. The state’s incumbent governor, Phil Bryant—a violently anti-marijuana Republican who supports harsh punishments for even low-level drug offenses—was voted out of of-

fice and will be replaced by another Republican, Tate Reeves, Bryant’s own lieutenant governor.

While Reeves personally opposes the medical marijuana amendment, he is more willing to work with the people than Bryant ever was.

“We’re not going to consider [marijuana reform] in Mississippi as long as I’m governor,” was Bryant’s stance. In contrast, Reeves announced that he will vote against marijuana reform, but, “if the people of Mississippi decide to vote a different way than I do, then I’m going to uphold the will of the people.”

n Virginia

For the first time in more than 25 years, Democrats took control of both the Virginia Senate and House. In this year’s election, Virginia was the only state where control of the legislature could be flipped, and Democrats more than met that challenge—especially by winning a comfortable majority in the House. Adding to the fact that the state has a Democratic governor, Ralph Northam, the Democratic Party obtained a perfect trifecta in Virginia, which bodes well for future reforms.

Northam, who is a medical professional, argued in favor of marijuana reform even before he was elected governor last year. In a 2017 blog post, he wrote, “As a doctor, I’m becoming increasingly convinced by data showing potential health benefits of marijuana, such as pain relief, drug-resistant epilepsy and

treatment for PTSD.” He added, “We need to change sentencing laws that disproportionately hurt people of color. One of the best ways to do this is to decriminalize marijuana.”

Although he wasn’t able to pass meaningful legislation with a Republican-dominated legislature, Northam initially ran on a platform that included the decriminalization of marijuana. Following this month’s election, he announced that he intends to take steps to make good on that promise, and that decriminalization was on his agenda for the upcoming General Assembly session.

Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n SHEPHERD EXPRESS

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N OV E M B E R 2 1, 2 0 1 9 | 15

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::DININGOUT

For more Dining, log onto shepherdexpress.com

CHRISTIAN CANDAMIL

FEATURE | SHORT ORDER | EAT/DRINK

Elsa’s on the Park

Elsa’s Is Still a Downtown Milwaukee Classic ::BY ERIN BRODERICK

with melted Monterey jack cheese, avocado, jalapeños and salsa. It’s spicy, messy here are few establishments that operate as a and delicious. In the mood for pork? There are plenty of choices, but less is more gin mill and a swanky eatery, an art gallery and a here. Go for the pork chop sandwich ($13)—grilled boneless pork with burnt onnightclub and a date spot and wing stop. In Milions and Grey Poupon mustard served on a toasted Italian roll. It’s simple, flavorful waukee’s East Town neighborhood, Elsa’s On the Park and always leaves me wanting more. All burgers and sandwiches come with a side can be described as all of the above. Elsa’s opened its of fries, fresh fruit and raw vegetables. doors on New Year’s Eve, 1980. The only thing that’s If you’re dining on a diet, take a look at the appetizers and salads sections. changed since that cold December day are its neighBacon-wrapped water chestnuts ($10.25) and shrimp cocktail ($8) are perfect if bors. After nearly 40 years of business, how has Elsa’s remained in you’re keto- or gluten-free. Skipping the meat? The vegetarian options are plenbusiness when so many others have closed their doors? “Great food tiful. Try the arugula and asparagus salad ($5.5) for a healthy dose of your daily and a cool environment,” one bartender remarked. greens. This salad is great to split and topped with a nice helping of shaved parWalking into Elsa’s feels like stepping out of Milwaukee. The white mesan cheese and lemon vinaigrette. The cauliflower calabrese ($9.75) is also a marble bar and dark leather chairs are reminiscent of a private New tasty veggie worth a try. Grilled cauliflower is tossed with onions, bell peppers, York City social club. Rotating art installations cover the walls, while mushrooms and red pepper flakes. It’s both heat and treat. ambient, downtempo music floods the dining room. The staff is A trip to Elsa’s is not complete without diving into some of the city’s best dressed in crisp, white button-downs, white aprons and black ties. wings. Buffalo, teriyaki or soy-ginger, you can’t go wrong. Order them as a There are no reservations here. Grab a drink by the bar while waiting for a table and take in the sights and sounds while you sip a stiff platter ($38) or a plate ($14.25). You’ll get a side of fries, choice of sauce and plenty of napkins. Stop by on a Monday, and you’ll also have the option of martini from Elsa’s extensive cocktail menu. ordering a variety of grilled chicken sandwiches—a nod to Elsa’s sister restauOn any given night, you can find folks dressed to the nines or decked out rant, AZ88, located in Phoenix, Ariz. for a Milwaukee Bucks game; Elsa’s welcomes everyone. During basketball And finally, don’t leave without trying something sweet. Strawberry shortseason, you many even spy Giannis Antetokounmpo in the corner enjoying a cake ($9.75) is a no brainer: buttery pound cake smothered in fresh strawberpost-game meal. Fancy or casual, the clientele agrees on one thing: the food. ries and whipped cream, served with Häagen-Dazs vanilla ice cream. Other From burgers and wings to pork chop sandwiches and salads, Elsa’s has a little options include New York-style cheesecake ($8.50), a decadent something for everyone. chocolate Black-Out Torte ($8) or the World’s Smallest Turtle It’s no surprise Elsa’s is known for its burgers. After all, Milwaukee’s own Karl Kopp is the proprietor of this locally loved Elsa’s On the Park Sundae ($1.50), the latter for those who are too stuffed for a full-on dessert but can’t leave without a little palate cleanser. spot, which he named after his late mother. Classic, vegan or 833 N. Jefferson St. Elsa’s On the Park is open Monday through Friday, 11 a.m.-1 over-the-top, you can find a burger that fits your needs. A per414-765-0615 • $$ a.m., and Saturday and Sunday, 5 p.m.-1 a.m. sonal favorite is the Las Brisas ($15.50)—a half-pound burger

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

N O V E M B E R 2 1 , 2 0 1 9 | 17

COURTESY OF WONDERLAND

::SHORTORDER

Scratch-made at Riverwest’s Wonderland ::BY DAVID LUHRSSEN

When was the last time you saw pumpernickel in a restaurant? Vacant for several years, the building that once housed West Bank Café has been expanded and refurbished as Wonderland (732 E. Burleigh St.). Don Krause, owner of the adjacent Art Bar, has transformed the space into a hipster diner with retro-patterned curtains and alt rock in stereo. The lunch counter and two rooms of booths and tables provide ample space.

Wonderland serves breakfast from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m., with a menu including big, scratch-made biscuits, cornbread waffles and egg dishes. Pulled ham and bacon are the standard sides, but vegetarians can choose the grilled lentil patties, which are just one of many vegan-veggie options.

Such standards as burgers and fries are served; there’s poutine and an entrée-oriented “supper menu” available 4-10 p.m. Wonderland has a long beer list, a short wine list and a full bar. Block off some time, because the kitchen works slowly. The pumpernickel is worth the wait.

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Stella & Chewy’s Surf ‘n Turf Dinner Patties

Stella & Chewy’s Becomes a Pack Leader in the Raw Pet Foods Market ::BY SHEILA JULSON

W

ith every news headline about recalled pet food—frequently made with ingredients from China—people are driven to seek out premium, U.S.sourced and raw food and treats for dogs and cats. Let’s step away from edibles for humans to check out Stella & Chewy’s, maker of frozen raw and freeze-dried raw pet food, kibble and treats.

Based on Oak Creek, Wis., Stella & Chewy’s was originally founded in 2003 in Manhattan, New York City, by Wisconsin native Marie Moody. While living in Manhattan, she had two adult rescue dogs—Stella and Chewy— the latter of whom had health issues. Moody sought ways to improve Chewy’s health and discovered high-protein, raw food diets. There was a lack of raw pet food available at the time, so Moody frequented a butcher shop for raw meat to feed to Chewy, and his health improved. Moody began making raw pet food and distributing it to pet stores throughout Manhattan, frequently delivering via taxicab.

“Marie calls herself an accidental entrepreneur,” says Molly Mulcahy, vice president of brand marketing for Stella & Chewy’s. Moody brought the company back to her home state, and today their offices and production facilities occupy 222,000 square feet. Mulcahy affirms that the company responsibly sources grass-fed, freerange, wild and farm-raised proteins. They do not use antibiotics or ingredients from China. Stella SHEPHERD EXPRESS

& Chewy’s has several veterinarians on staff to help craft diets and advise on flavor palates.

Their first product, Frozen Raw Patties for dogs, resembles hamburger patties and come in eight varieties. Their freeze-dried foods line was born from a desire for convenience; people sometimes forget to take the food out of the freezer to thaw out. The freeze-dried raw patties, which come in flavors like Surf ’n Turf, can either be fed to the dog as is or rehydrated with water. Benefits of a raw food diet include a softer coat, improved breath and more energy.

The freeze-dried raw is produced through high-pressure processing, which kills salmonella and bad bacteria. The process is done in-house to ensure quality. Mulcahy adds that all Stella & Chewy’s employees, regardless of their positions, have to attend safety and quality control trainings.

The Meal Mixers line, one of their newer products, is a meal topper that gives a boost of raw nutrition to a pet’s everyday kibble. The company also makes kibble including raw coated (kibble coated with freeze-dried food) and raw blend, which combines kibble with freezedried raw pieces in the same bag.

Dog treats include Wild Weenies freezedried raw with 97% meat, uniquely shaped like cocktail hot dogs; the raw coated Carnivore Crunch; and the new Hemp Oil Supplement Chews with THC-free, broad-spectrum cannabidiol (CBD). Those come in “calming” or “hip and joint” formulas.

This past June, Stella & Chewy’s launched a line of cat food. While not as broad as the dog food line, it features several frozen raw varieties, freeze-dried raw and meal toppers. “It’s a big deal for us,” Mulcahy notes of the cat food line. “Pet parents have asked us for a cat kibble.

It took a while to crack the recipe, but we didn’t want to just throw a product out there just because there was a demand for it.”

Stella & Chewy’s employees may bring their pets to work. Photos of employees’ dogs are displayed throughout the office building, and there’s an outdoor dog exercise area. Their Journey Home program donates meals to shelters across the country that focus on senior and adult pet adoption. This year, Stella & Chewy’s made Deloitte’s Wisconsin 75 list, which recognizes 75 of the state’s largest and most successful private companies for the impact they make.

For more information, visit stellaandchewys. com.

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::A&E

Brought to you by The Milwaukee Art Museum

What kind of research did you do to prepare?

Edward Morgan: Watching a few videos and programs about Caesar’s writers, watching lots of the original sketches on YouTube, listening to some music of the period, looking up news and current events for 1953, all of the design work and calling to mind my previous experience with Neil Simon: The Odd Couple and The Sunshine Boys.

Dylan Bolin: I was a comedy writer for radio off and on for about 20 years. It really resonates with me when Simon’s characters talk about what is funny. Humor is so subjective, but if comedy writers concern themselves too much with how their jokes are received, they can easily find themselves lost down the rabbit hole, suffering paralysis by analysis. I think this is why comedy writers have such distinct voices and characters (and the writers in this show are no exception); confidence is their sword and shield. This many strong characters in one room with a deadline makes for a supercharged and volatile atmosphere DAVE ZYLSTRA

COURTESY OF NEXT ACT THEATRE

FEATURE | FILM | THEATRE | ART | BOOKS | CLASSICAL MUSIC | DANCE

What are the main aspects you focus on when doing comedy?

Karen Estrada: The jokes come a mile a minute, so you can’t wait for them all to land. The pace and timing are like music.

Laughter You really need to have your brain on and sit on the forward to enjoy it fully. These jokes are not 23rd Floor easy and sweet.

Through Lindsay Webster: I think it’s so much Dec. 15 harder to be funny if your character is trying Next Act to be funny. So, I try to focus on intention the Theatre most. I try to genuinely, earnestly mean what I say whenever possible Adam Qutaishat: I tend to focus on the mechanics to a certain extent. I have various areas I focus on.

1) Pace, rhythm, timing. 2) Delivery, variety, color. 3) Gesture, expression. 4) Structure, stakes, shifts. But past a certain amount of work, you must also just listen and react genuinely, or the humor won’t feel honest. I find that, often, it’s about finding the balance of the left and right brain functions and trying “everything under the sun” during rehearsal.

Next Act Theatre

Rehearsal for Next Act’s ‘Laughter on the 23rd Floor’

Next Act’s ‘Laughter on the 23rd Floor’ Explores the Meaning of Being Funny

::BY HARRY CHERKINIAN

ay, way back in the 20th century, television was only in black and white. There were only three network channels (NBC, ABC and CBS). Some shows were shot before live audiences, and comedy shows were extremely popular.

Next Act Theatre’s Laughter on the 23rd Floor, written by Neil Simon, is based on a real-life “live” show, Sid Caesar’s “Your Show of Shows.” But it’s the roomful of comedy writers that this comedy is all about—a young Simon along with other funny men who would become famous in their own careers, such as Mel Brooks, Carl Reiner and Woody Allen.

Simon’s real-life experiences are reflected in this play as writers try to outdo each other, and head writer Max Prince (based on Simon) has to negotiate with NBC higher-ups as they threaten to pull the show.

Director Edward Morgan and members of the eight-actor ensemble were asked to answer the same questions about preparing for their roles, what constitutes comedy and just what it takes be funny.

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Anything else you’d like to add?

David Cecsarini: The best, most effective comedy is usually grounded in truth. So, you pay attention to the circumstances these people are grappling with: NBC brass, each other, outside interests, home life. The pressure brought on by these circumstances is the fuel that drives the comedic engine.

Rick Pendzich: I find that it’s entirely a group effort. I constantly compare comedy to volleyball: One character bumps the ball (not letting it hit the floor), the next character sets the ball (setting up the joke), and the next lucky character gets to spike the ball for the point (laugh.) People cheer for the player who spiked the ball (punchline) but are often unaware of the other performers who did their job to make that point (joke) happen. It’s the team that does it: actors, director, stage management, all of us. Our main job in comedy is keeping the ball off of the floor.

Edward Morgan: I’m amazed at all the brilliant comic writers that worked with Sid Caesar. It’s pretty safe to say that, through them, directly and indirectly, he influenced virtually all comedy written for American TV and movies.

Laughter on the 23rd Floor runs through Dec. 15 at Next Act Theatre, 255 S. Water St. For tickets, call 414-278-0765 or visit nextact.org.

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THEATRE

Jeeves at Sea

Jeeves at Sea is Margaret Raether’s fourth adaptation of the classic P.G. Wodehouse “Jeeves” stories. Throughout the past nine years, Milwaukee Chamber Theatre has been bringing all of Raether’s adaptations to Milwaukee, and this is the very latest in the series. As C. Michael Wright, MCT’s producing artistic director, says, this play “takes us on a playful journey back to the 1920s, allowing us a little escape from any current woes. It’s a celebratory toast, with a bubbly holiday cocktail, to the incomparable wit of P.G. Wodehouse.”

Happy (and wealthy) bachelor Bertie Wooster, his valet, Jeeves, and Bertie’s chum, Sir Percival Everard Crumpworth (aka Crumpet), are reveling in life aboard the fetching Lady Stella Vanderley’s yacht off the coast of Monte Carlo. That is, until Crumpet discloses that he may—or may not—have murdered a prince! In the immediate wake of such a startling announcement, Bertie’s masquerading as a romance novelist, Crumpet’s posing as his own long-lost twin and a foreign count is challenging Bertie to a duel.

In honor of the holiday season, MCT will host a donation drive to benefit Milwaukee Homeless Veterans Initiative (MHVI) throughout the run of Jeeves at Sea. Founded and run by veterans, MHVI’s mission is to help homeless and at-risk veterans reach and maintain their highest levels of independence. A list of needed items can be found on MCT’s website, and donations can be dropped off at the theater during any performance. (John Jahn) Nov. 22-Dec. 22 in the Broadway Theatre Center’s Studio Theatre, 158 N. Broadway.

For tickets, call 414-291-7800 or visit chamber-theatre.com.

The Henry Ford’s Innovation Nation Live!

The Henry Ford’s Innovation Nation Live! is a new, live, stage version of the two-time Emmy Award-winning TV show of the same name (sans “Live!”); this will be the show’s world premiere, which precedes its national tour. Adapted and directed by Griffin Theatre Company artistic director William Massolia, it brings to life the world-changing innovations featured on the TV program and preserved in The Henry Ford museum’s archives.

“Griffin Theatre is thrilled to work with The Henry Ford to produce this important play for young audiences,” Massolia says. “It’s filled with entertaining and educational stories about yesterday’s and today’s visionaries and innovators, highlighting major turning points both past and present that influenced the fields of science, technology, engineering, math, the environment and social justice. The young, as well as parents and grandparents, will find the show inspiring and entertaining.”

The production showcases such luminaries of the past as Henry Ford, the Wright Brothers, Rosa Parks and George Washington Carver, among many others. Their achievements will be highlighted and reflected by showing examples of present-day innovations. The Henry Ford’s Innovation Nation Live! is recommended for ages 10 and older. (John Jahn) Nov. 23 and 24 in the Wilson Theater at Vogel Hall of the Marcus Center for the Performing Arts.

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TROY FREUND

A&E::INREVIEW

Wild Space’s Site-Specific Performance at Eschweiler Landmark ::BY JOHN SCHNEIDER

Present Music’s Thanksgiving Concert

Present Music Keeps Thanksgiving Tradition Alive ::BY RICK WALTERS

T

he new co-artistic directors of Present Music, David Bloom and Eric Segnitz, continued the tradition of a Thanksgiving concert at the Cathedral of St. John the Evangelist on Sunday. The capacity audience was proof that the Milwaukee community has long embraced this event.

The theme was music composed by women. The longest and most substantial offering was This Might Be a Form of Dreaming by Caroline Shaw (b. 1982). Bloom conducted the eight excellent singers of the Hearing Voices Ensemble, along with the equally excellent instrumental ensemble. Shaw is one of the most interesting of younger American composers, especially in her ability to set words colorfully and write astutely for voices. The texts were drawn from Don’t Let Me Be Lonely, a collection of prose poems by Claudia Rankine. Some of the music is a modern take on Anglican chant, with results that keep the ear expectantly leaning in. Bloom led a fully convincing performance of this beautiful music.

Other composers included Pauline Oliveros (The Heart Chant), Shelley Washington (A Kind of Lung) and Reena Esmail (TaReKiTa). Reagan High School graduate Lauren Barta’s Dreamily, for a cappella chorus, paints the sweet stillness of the twilight hour, nicely performed by the chamber choir of its composer’s alma mater. Bloom’s arrangement of Eve Beglarian’s The Continuous Life showed imaginative invention, though it might have gone on a bit too long.

The Bucks Native American Singing and Drumming Group again returned to raise the rafters to both open and close the program. Along the way was the friendly audience sing-along of Cass Elliot’s “Make Your Own Kind of Music.”

Earlier in the week, at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, Frankly Music presented what may have been the American premiere of the recently discovered Piano Trio by Amanda Maier-Röntgen (1853-’94), composed in 1873. The style is along the lines of Robert Schumann and Johannes Brahms, but Maier-Röntgen found an easy, graceful fluency in her own individual voice. The perfectly matched ensemble of violinist Frank Almond, pianist Adam Nieman and cellist Nicholas Canellakis made a strong case for the piece with well-sculpted, sensitive, sophisticated playing.

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n the night of the first televised impeachment hearing, after recordbreaking cold and facing the threat of icy snow, I found the parking lot of the darkened UW-Milwaukee Innovation Campus in Wauwatosa. To my relief, I also found the promised shuttle to take me to the site of Wild Space Dance Company’s latest site-specific performance, Everything in Its Place. It was an imposing, red brick, three-story fortress—the former administration building of an early 20th-century Milwaukee County agriculture school. It was designed by the famed Milwaukee architect Alexander Eschweiler, whose many works include the Charles Allis Art Museum and the Wisconsin Gas Company building. The top floor is now called the Echelon Ballroom, part of the new Echelon Apartment Complex.

#MeToo Meets Shakespeare in Aura Theatre’s ‘Measure for Measure’ ::BY JEAN-GABRIEL FERNANDEZ

F

or its first-ever show, brand-new Aura Theatre Collective presents a modernized version of William Shakespeare’s Measure for Measure. That story, both in its original version and this retelling, is used to convey a message about the female body and sexual assault, and director Jaimelyn Gray explicitly links it to the #MeToo movement.

Measure for Measure takes place in Vienna, Austria, while the Duke (Randall Anderson) is out of the city, leaving the governance to Lord Angelo (Timothy Barnes). Angelo is extremely strict and applies the law to the letter, supposedly to improve the mores of the city, condemning young Claudio (Jarrod Langwinski) to death under the guise of fornication for impregnating his own fiancée.

Claudio’s sister, Isabella (Laker Thrasher), a novice nun, is

It looks like an unadorned church—a place to behave, not dance—perfectly symmetrical with high gothic arches, dark wood molding, no-nonsense beige walls and identical lofts and stairs at either end. I’ve learned to expect choreographer Debra Loewen to move her audiences around, but here our place was constant. We sat in rows along one of the room’s identical long sides, facing forward. The only oddities were small paper bags hanging high up, clipped to clotheslines on pulleys from those lofts at both ends.

It was a startling start: the sharp, overlapping voices of women counting, as if playing hide and seek, while other women raced fiercely through the areas. Dancer Mauriah Kraker slowly took focus, looking at us, at the room, at the exposed women dancers who all began looking, perhaps for hiding places? Those others were Katelyn Altmann, Brea Graber, Amanda Laabs, Lindsey Ruenger, Maggie Seer and Jimmi Weyneth, all wonderful. Loewen gave them lots to do in solos and different combinations. The only man, Warren Enström, remained separated, playing bassoon non-melodically and drawing frightening sounds from doors, walls and radiators. I was gripped from start to finish, thanks to the compelling performances and Loewen’s kaleidoscopic structuring.

The choreography seemed subconsciously driven.

The performers were serious young people in a place for kings and angels, where they had no place. They had one another, but did they? Even that was never certain.

Nothing lasted here. They tested gestures, positions and relationships. They waited, panicked, counted and hid.

At one point, little pillows were tossed from balconies to the floor: brief respite? Some of the paper bags were dropped: fleeting treats? It’s a difficult time in the world.

offered a deal to save her brother’s life: lose her virginity to Angelo.

Women’s bodies are at the center of the show—be it through Isabella, of course, but also through the character of Mariana (Kira Renkas), betrothed to Angelo, or even a surprising dance number opening the production. Angelo, who pretends to be a paragon of virtue, is a vile man, and the story takes some fascinating directions before a finale that clearly comments on Donald Trump’s attitude toward women. Measure for Measure is known for its silent and open ending, which can be interpreted in vastly different ways depending on body language; Aura Theatre’s version is a gut punch and certainly the best reason to see this play.

The whole show is keenly conscious of current events and is depressingly relevant 400 years after having been written. Costumes and décor are minimal, sometimes looking like the actors just stepped on stage with what they had been wearing that day, but it gives the production a unique tone. Although it can be hard to properly hear the actors on stage due to the echo in the large space of the Irish Cultural & Heritage Center, the show’s location, at the foot of a giant pipe organ in a beautiful building, could hardly be considered a downside.

Acting is the show’s strongest point, especially with the leading trio composed of Isabella, the Duke and Angelo.

Delivering the Shakespearean monologues efficiently and cutting through the more soporific parts of The Bard’s writing, Aura Theatre’s actors appeal to contemporary sensibilities to make audiences react viscerally to scenes of sexual assault in particular, and the deep sense of hopelessness they create. (Audiences should be aware that violent and potentially triggering scenes of sexual assault are depicted.)

Through Nov. 24 at the Irish Cultural & Heritage Center, 2133 W. Wisconsin Ave. SHEPHERD EXPRESS

A&E::INREVIEW

::BY HARRY CHERKINIAN

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Milwaukee Rep’s ‘The Nerd’

‘The Nerd’ Is as Funny and Fresh as Ever ::BY HARRY CHERKINIAN

I

MARK FROHNA

ewsies, the 1992 Disney film turned 2011 Broadway musical, opened at Skylight Music Theatre last weekend. The spectacular production energized the stage—and audience—with its nonstop, high-flying energy featuring a very talented cast of young people.

They sing, dance and tap their way across the stage, moving Newsies in joyful leaps and bounds, defying gravity.

Newsies is based on a real-life event: the 1899 newsboys strike in New York City. The newsboys or “hawkers” that sold newspapers on the street fought back against wealthy publishers Joseph Pulitzer and William Randolph Hearst. The publishers’ attempts to raise prices for the “newsies” failed, thanks to a unified strike that brought traffic to a standstill for days on end.

The stage musical features music by Alan Menken (The Little Mermaid, Beatty and the Beast), lyrics by Jack Feldman (Isn’t It Romantic) and book by Harvey Fierstein (Torch Song

MICHAEL BROSILOW

Extra!

Extra!

‘Newsies’ Storm Skylight Stage

Trilogy). Under the terrific direction of Molly Rhode, this very large of cast of 29 completely fills the stage and brims over the edge with talent—left to right, top to bottom, with laser-like precision in the telling of the story.

Newsies focuses on orphan Jack Kelly (Marco Tzunux), who becomes the de facto strike leader standing up to Pulitzer (Lee Palmer) as the street urchins try to support themselves, making their fellow newsies their family. As we watch the kids exploited by the powers that be (a major social concern of the late 19th century), Jack runs across a number of characters as they figure out how to band together and unionize. Along the way, there’s tough female reporter Katherine Plumber (Rachel Zientek), theater owner Medda Larkin (Natalie Harris) and even Teddy Roosevelt (Christopher Elst), then-governor of New York. But it’s the fierce, independent spirit and courageous determination of Kelly and the boys (and girls) that give this production a rough-hewn polish and professionalism that shines throughout the show.

And there are some truly incredible numbers: Harris’ sassy, belting tune, “That’s Rich,” gives her a well-deserved star turn, while the anthemic “Seize the Day” is a haunting refrain by the newsies themselves as they muster the strength to fight back and defend what little they have to survive on. There’s also on-themark choreography courtesy of Molly Rhode and David Roman. It’s truly impressive to see such a large, youthful cast work in unison within the tight confines of the stage and steel metal gated set. But make it work they do, and the opening number at the top of Act Two, “King of New York,” showcases just how talented the entire company is when it comes to sleek moves and fancy footwork.

Newsies is a real-life story that made frontpage news at that time; now, it comes back to life on the Skylight Stage—a hit for all ages.

Through Dec. 29 in the Broadway Theatre Center’s Cabot Theatre, 158 N. Broadway.

Skylight’s ‘Newsies’ SHEPHERD EXPRESS

t’s been 38 years since Larry Shue’s The Nerd premiered at the Milwaukee Repertory Theater. Much has changed since then. Shue tragically died in 1985 in a plane crash at age 39; the play ran on Broadway in 1987 with Mark Hamill (yes, Luke Skywalker) in the cast; and it became a staple for many theaters worldwide.

The Nerd is considered a modern masterpiece of slapstick humor. The newly opened production of The Nerd makes the fourth time The Rep has mounted the play, and the show remains just as funny and fresh, given Shue’s knack for clever and corny wordplay, as well as a cast that serves the material well.

Director JC Clementz honed his comedic skills with past Rep shows like Murder for Two and The Doyle & Debbie Show in the intimate Stackner Cabaret. Now in the much larger Quadracci Powerhouse Theater, he’s been given plenty of space to use every bit of the stage for all the visual gags that abound in The Nerd.

The actual “nerd” is Rick Steadman—an oblivious, obnoxious, unexpected guest who turns up at the birthday party of fellow war vet, architect Willum Cubbert (played in the original production by Shue himself). Seems that Steadman saved Willum’s life during the war 16 years earlier, so now he’s shown up to collect on that long-ago promise for help. Big mistake, but puh-lenty of laughs for the audience.

Willum and friends try to figure out a way to get rid of the unwanted nerd who’s become a houseguest and interferes with every part of Willum’s life. That is, until, Willum and company hatch a plot to “out-nerd” the nerd to get him to leave. Umm...nice try. The sight gags are many and a key part of the comedic success of The Nerd. It’s not easy playing for laughs, especially with all the physical timing in this show. But this cast does it all so very well.

As the nerd, Michael Doherty makes Steadman a believable and, at times, sympathetic character given how out of touch and out of step he is with the world around him, and the rest of the cast falls right into place. As sharp-tongued, too-witty theater critic Axel Hammond, Jeremy Peter Johnson is a standout. His comedic timing and nonverbal gestures keep the show running on high voltage. The clever plot twist at the end still works as well today as did so many years ago.

While Shue’s playwriting career was short-lived, his love for laughter and entertaining audiences continues to live on with this fine production of The Nerd, and that is reason enough to see it, anticipating the miles of smiles to come.

Through Dec. 15 in the Quadracci Powerhouse Theater, 108 E. Wells St. N O V E M B E R 2 1 , 2 0 1 9 | 29

A&E::VISUALART

Installation view of Hoax Gallery’s ‘Narrative Perspectives’

Time, Process, Material Converge at Bay View’s Hoax Gallery

I

T WAS A WARM SIGHT FROM THE CURB ON THE EAST SIDE OF HOWELL AVENUE: A glowing storefront interior stuffed with dozens of bundled November bodies snaking around art, rapt in conversation, fluttering in and out of the space like moths around a sodium streetlight. As I parked my vehicle before heading into “Narrative Perspectives” at Hoax Gallery in Bay View, a stack of press materials scattered across my dash for the upcoming “Masterworks of the Phillips Collection” at the Milwaukee Art Museum.

Gathering the pages in the yellow light, I imagined the moment as a wonderful collision of local art narratives; bookends of a sprawling art scene, from cracked curbs to colossal Calatravas.

Inside, four artists regaled the space with formal and material vitality to match the social ferment. Curated by artist Jason Yi, the show is a bit dense in the small space, but it’s justifiable— I’d err on the side of inclusion, too, given the effectiveness of the work.

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::BY SHANE MCADAMS

On the left as one enters, a large pedestal features a handsome and strangely biomorphic sculpture by Linda Marcus. “Strangely” because, while it smacks first as a something biological (maybe fungal) and possibly still growing, it is, in fact, made of cast iron. Turns out the solid metal creature began as a personal, delicate and very handmade object. Marcus methodically wound yarn around twisted garments of personal significance, concealing the preciousness of the subject matter literally and figuratively through iterative processes. It bears the contradictory tension of a prehistoric bug frozen in amber or a bronzed children’s shoe; somehow distant, prophylactic, universal and hyper-individual all at once.

Nykoli Koslow’s paintings echo Marcus’ twisting, semi-biological forms with a completely different material and mark-making repertoire.

His hyperchromatic panels piled with luscious, fluid brushstrokes emerge into otherworldly landscapes. Each small, richly colored painting is a totally thrilling and immersive visual expe-

rience, though somewhat swallowed up by the sheer number of small individual works in close proximity. Together, the paintings produce a kind of field effect, where the whole overpowers its individual components like a uniform forest of wonderfully uniform trees. It’s ultimately a champagne problem, given most artists would be happy to arrive at such trees in the first place.

Riley Niemack’s contributions to the show are especially diverse, from 2-D wall pieces, to a video of a performance, to an exquisitely and deceptively prosaic twisting, sculptural lump called Blend Mend Trend (Interrelationships). The husky body of gray, air-dried clay and wooden blocks on a clean, white pedestal could be the lovechild of Koslow’s and Marcus’ work. It has his body and her eyes. The sculpture’s wrenched forms and naked materiality are simultaneously pure and dirty, substantial and subjective. And in its hybridity, it channels—or inherits, maybe— the narrative surge of the show with purpose and informal panache.

In the context of the show, Sonal Jain’s busy network of oil stick marks on paper in Untitled reminded me of Thomas B. Hess’ acclaimed 1950 Artnews piece, “De Kooning Paints a Picture.” Hess describes the artist laboring to paint his now famous Woman: “Like any myth, its emergence was long, difficult and (to use one of the artist’s favorite adjectives) mysterious.” Jain’s work, too, feels like an inventory or residue of thought, negation,

SPONSORED BY

Oil Paintings by Nykoli Koslov

erasure, reactivation and constant engagement. The form in her work seems inextricably connected to the physical and temporal, like things collected on a mysterious journey.

“Narrative Perspectives” is a somewhat blunt title for a very pointed show displaying considerable curatorial focus. Then again, Yi’s concerns about the confluence of time, process, material into fluid, artistic narratives is so purposefully stated through the work that a sharper title might give too much away. So maybe his titular casualness is appropriate—casual exteriors and substantial interiors were, after all, a kind of a general theme for the evening: for the art, the venue and for all those who came out to admire it all on a cold November evening.

OPENINGS: “oil and cement”

Nov. 23-Jan. 25 Hawthorn Contemporary 706 S. Fifth St.

Hawthorn Contemporary’s “oil and cement” exhibition features work of Waldek Dynerman. Born and educated in Poland, Dynerman moved to the U.S. in the early 1980s to teach at the Milwaukee Institute of Art and Design (MIAD), where he still teaches today. For more than 40 years, he has been experimenting with painting, printmaking, sculpture and assemblage. There are many layers to his work, defying easy categorization. While being a child of a Holocaust survivor has had an important role in shaping his worldview, there are other influences and inspirations in his work, adding up to a complex puzzle. For more information, visit hawthorncontemporary. com.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

Best Availabilmity!

6pm & 7p performances

Book by Thomas Meehan and Bob Martin Music by Matthew Sklar Lyrics by Chad Baguelin Based on the New Line Cinema film by David Berenbaum Presented through special arrangement with Music Theatre International (MTI). All authorized performance materials are also supplied by MTI. www.MTIShows.com

NOVEMBER 23 – DECEMBER 29, 2019

FirstStage.org/elf

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like the paper, but on radio! like the paper, but on radio

Tune in to Riverwest Radio (104.1 FM) at 9:30 a.m. on the last Friday of each month to get the inside scoop on what’s coming to the paper.

by

Neil Simon

November 21 - December 15, 2019

A group of television comedy writers are up against the NBC brass as the future of 1950’s sketch comedy is up for grabs.

255 S Water St | Milwaukee, WI 53204 | 414.278.0765 | nextact.org

A MODERN VISION Discover fifty paintings by some of the most iconic names in modern art.

Through March 22, 2020

CONFIDENT INDUSTRIOUS SPIRITED NEGATIVE/POSITIVE MILWAUK EE RO CK BAND

This exhibition has been organized by The Phillips Collection, Washington, DC. Hilaire-Germain-Edgar Degas, Dancers at the Barre, ca. 1900 (detail). Oil on canvas, 51 ¼ x 38 ½ in. The Phillips Collection, Washington, DC. Acquired 1944.

mam.org/vision

FULL ARTICLE AT RADIOMILWAUKEE.ORG • 88.9 FM SHEPHERD EXPRESS

N OV E M B E R 2 1, 2 0 1 9 | 31

A&E::FILM WARNER BROTHERS

[ FILM CLIPS ] 21 Bridges R Andre Davis (Chadwick Boseman) is an expertly trained, embattled NYPD detective when he is thrust into a citywide manhunt for a cop killer. Demanding that Manhattan be cordoned off by closing down all tunnels and bridges to the island, Davis begins piecing together a massive conspiracy that links the police to a criminal empire. While attempting to figure out who he is hunting, Davis must also find out who is hunting him. I consider it a positive sign when J. K. Simmons appears as a police captain. (Lisa Miller)

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood PG The philosophy of kindness, modesty and generosity embodied by Fred Rogers (Tom Hanks) is revealed through his interviews with jaded magazine writer Tom Junod (Matthew Rhys). Initially unable to believe Mr. Rogers could actually be the figure he presents, in time, Junod comes to believe that Rogers is exactly who he appears to be. Junod is startled and grateful to find Rogers to be a healing presence. Hanks gives a marvelously unaffected performance, slipping into Rogers physicality and personality while bringing “the neighborhood” to life. (L.M.)

Frozen 2 PG

“The Good Liar’’

Helen Mirren Confronts Dark Secrets in ‘The Good Liar’ ::BY DAVID LUHRSSEN

T

he internet has become a way for elders, with spouses dead and children gone, to slip the bonds of isolation and meet people their own age for companionship, even partnership. The Good Liar opens with the initial online encounters between two elderly strangers, Roy (Ian McKellen) and Betty (Helen Mirren). Already, they’re lying as they answer the menu of questions. Drinker: NO, she clicks while sipping a glass of wine. And when they finally meet for lunch, they reveal the truth: They both used false names online.

Soon enough comes the suspicion: The Good Liar is not a romantic comedy but a mystery thriller—maybe even a murder mystery. In an early sign of where it’s going, Roy’s twinkle easily turns stony and his winning smile flattens to a grimace. Turns out he’s deep into dodgy business schemes involving dubious foreign investors and Caribbean banks. He’s a grifter conning other grifters, but he’s not above robbing the innocent. When Betty mentions paying cash for her new car, he gets the idea to swindle her of her life savings.

The Good The Good Liar is set in 2009 London. The significance of Liar the year is that the World War II generation was still lucid and ambulatory in large numbers. Roy and Betty were teenagers in Helen Mirren the 1940s. They catch Inglorious Basterds in a cinema, a foreIan McKellen shadow and not the last we’ll hear of that war. Also significant: Directed by Betty recently retired after 40 years teaching history at Oxford.

Bill Condon Past events determine a plot that turns by gears of deception Rated R rotating within wheels of deceit.

If the plot is as intricate and ultimately hard to believe as most mystery thrillers on BritBox, like the “Endeavours” and “Poirots” from the small screen, the story is elevated by the sterling cast. McKellen is a charmer, covering Roy’s dark moral vacuum with an ornate façade of courtly English manners and even the appearance of emotional vulnerability. Mirren endows Betty with a life’s worth of responses. Her face lights up with uncertainty, anticipation, hope, happiness, disappointment and reticence; with equal agility she handles witty repartee and—it turns out—steely resolve. Betty has almost as many secrets as Roy.

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Royal sisters Queen Elsa (voiced by Idina Menzel) and Princess Anna (Kristen Bell) return for an adventure into an autumnal magic forest. Accompanied by friendly snowman Olaf and Anna’s paramour Kristoff, the sisters attempt to resolve an old riff with the forest inhabitants.

Setting things right falls largely on Elsa, whose magical abilities are sorely needed to accomplish the task. However, comic relief is never more than a snowball away as Olaf fearfully disparages each new development. Meanwhile, Kristoff waits in vain for the perfect moment to propose marriage to Anna. As in the original, the bluish, icy animation provides a soothing tone while the songs prove to be catchy tunes. (L.M.)

[ HOME MOVIES / NOW STREAMING ] n The Return of Martin Guerre (Cohen Film Collective)

Gérard Depardieu stars in this 1982 film based on the 16th-century trial of a man missing for years who returns home to reclaim his life. Suspense builds over whether the man is who he claims to be. Martin Guerre represents ’80s European art house at its height: Beautiful composition and cinematography and acute attention to sound support top-drawer acting to bring alive the strange reality of medieval society. The director’s cut is out on Blu-ray.

n It Always Rains on Sunday (Kino Lorber)

Postwar London still looked Dickensian in this 1947 film. It Always Rains on Sunday is an emotionally astute story about an escaped prisoner who makes for his former love (long since remarried to an older, stable man). It depicts London’s East End as a place of broken windows and limited opportunities; street life and pub life are dominant. The climax is one of cinema’s great chase scenes as police pursue the convict through a nighttime trainyard.

n Ambition (Shout! Factory)

They used to call the violin the devil’s instrument. The authors of this B movie seem to agree. Ambition opens with a death in the conservatory.

Did the star violinist snap from competitive pressure and jump from a building? Or was she pushed? Ambition plays on contemporary anxieties over stalkers and plays with psycho-killer tropes as it tosses out red herrings and surprises. The doomed house of students is populated by film buffs trading movie lines.

n Rolling Stones, Bridges to Buenos Aires

Although billed as “The Bridges to Babylon Tour” in support of their 1997 album of that name, the shows were built around familiar fanpleasing material. The DVD (plus two CDs) documenting the Stones’ 1998 concert in Argentina shows band members exuding a powerful presence onstage as they execute a set of hits starting with “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction.” The surprise: Bob Dylan joins them for a raspy rendition of “Like a Rolling Stone.”

—David Luhrssen SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::OFFTHECUFF

A&E::BOOKS BOOK|PREVIEW

Novelist Layne Fargo’s Fast-Paced Adventure ::BY JENNI HERRICK

W

hat is the psychology behind losing one’s temper? And what do our reactions under intense pressure say about how successful we can become? In Chicago novelist Layne Fargo’s psychological thriller, Temper, we are introduced to a manipulative and unpredictable cast of characters, all hustling to make it in the Chicago theater district, whose intertwined stories and complicated relationships make for a fastpaced adventure that pulses with eclectic tension.

Temper features a pair of dueling female narrators who showcase ambition, clever deception and the dangerous extremes of human behavior. Firmly in her mid-30s, actress Kira Rascher fears that if she doesn’t get a break soon, her acting career may be nearing its end, so she accepts the offer to work with renowned but highly mercurial director Malcolm Mercer without much hesitation or seeming concern. Meanwhile, Joan Cuyler, the theater co-founder, has her own complicated stake in the relationship she has created with Mercer. As opening night draws near, the slow-building and often unpredictable drama surrounding this group of brutal thespians continues to build until tempers reach their boiling point in a shocking ending.

Fargo’s own background in the Chicago art scene adds authenticity to both the locale and locals in her debut novel. She will engage in conversation with Milwaukee author Kelsey Rae Dimberg (Girl in the Rearview Mirror) at Boswell Book Co. on Monday, Nov. 25, at 7 p.m. Prior to the event, the bookstore’s mystery book club will host a discussion on Temper at 6 p.m.

Layne Fargo BY KATHARINE HANNAH SHEPHERD EXPRESS

Providing Free Eye Care in Tanzania

Skygen USA giving vision tests in Tanzania COURTESY OF SKYGEN

OFF THE CUFF WITH SKYGEN’S LISA SWEENEY ::BY JEAN-GABRIEL FERNANDEZ

B

ased in Menomonee Falls, Wis., Skygen USA is a large company that develops and utilizes digital solutions for health care administration. Taking advantage of their expertise, Skygen expanded into the Skygen International Foundation, a nonprofit aiming to bring health care to impoverished parts of the world, in early 2017. Off the Cuff talked to the foundation’s executive director, Lisa Sweeney, about their key project: Offering free eye exams and glasses to the people of Tanzania in Africa.

What exactly do you do for the Tanzanian population?

We do vision testing, and we test everyone’s vision twice. We begin with an acuity test—you cover one eye and you look at the sign across the room—and then the Kaleidos, which is an auto-refraction machine that measures your eye and lets the optometrist know what kind of correction you need. After the tests, those that need glasses go see the optometrist to finalize the prescription.

We tested all the primary and secondary school children in the Meru region, along with their teachers, and we also did open clinics for the general population. In the past couple weeks, we’ve moved to the neighboring Arusha region, and we started serving the schools and general population there. Every person who comes gets tested, and if they need glasses, we build the glasses for them immediately. We work with glasses provider Essilor, who have ready-to-clip glasses; we pop in the lenses with the proper prescription in the frame, and people can walk away with their glasses that day for free.

How many people have you helped so far?

As of Friday, Nov. 8, we tested 100,338 people, and we’ve given away 22,512 pairs of glasses.

Why Tanzania?

Skygen International Foundation was founded based on the dream of our chairman, Craig Kasten, to do more good in the world. On a family trip to Tanzania, he saw the opportunity to take the work that we do at Skygen and apply it to a need that he saw in that country, where he saw children in schools standing right next to the board because they couldn’t read the writing on the chalkboard.

It is interesting to see that, in that part of the world, there are actually fewer children who need glasses because they don’t have the screen time that people in the U.S. have; they’re not looking at their iPads and TV screens and video games. But the ones who need glasses really do need them.

When I was there in August, there was a 9-year-old girl with a correction of 1,200—what you and I can see 1,200 feet away, she can only see 20 feet away. In Tanzania, there is only one textbook per classroom, so the teacher writes the lecture on the board, and students copy it. They have a test, and if they don’t pass it, they don’t get to move on to the next grade. So, that little girl wouldn’t have been able to stay in school, because she couldn’t see the chalkboard and couldn’t copy the lesson; it didn’t matter how smart she was. We were able to change that, which is great.

How do local populations react to what you offer?

These people are so appreciative of what we do, and it’s so humbling when we go there and see hundreds of people show up when we have general clinics. They are shocked that people would do this for them. They can’t believe that someone would be generous enough to just give out free glasses to 22,000 people. They’re just so happy, and it’s an amazing experience. I am very fortunate to be able to do this.

N O V E M B E R 2 1 , 2 0 1 9 | 33

::HEARMEOUT ASK RUTHIE | UPCOMING EVENTS | PAUL MASTERSON

::ASKRUTHIE

::RUTHIE’SSOCIALCALENDAR

SPONSORED BY

WINNER OF THE JEWELERS OF AMERICA’S 2019 CASE AWARD

Happy Birthday to Scrooge Dear Ruthie,

I’m sick of these queens who need to celebrate their birthdays for entire weekends, weeks or even months.

Some even insist friends join them on expensive vacations! I’m sick of it. We all have a birthday, for fuck’s sake. Get over yourself. It’s so stupid and selfish.

I’m also not big on holidays and must-do traditions just because people grow up with them. When I meet a guy, I want to start our own traditions and celebrate the way we want to, not the way his parents celebrated or the way society expects us to celebrate. So fucking stupid.

Am I wrong? Most guys I meet think I’m wrong and the relationship ends. Sort of glad I’m single this Christmas, but I don’t want to be single forever because of my beliefs.

What do you think?

(Signed) Scrooge Dear Scroogy,

like the paper, but on radio!

Tune in to Riverwest Radio (104.1 FM) at 9:30 a.m. on the last Friday of each month to get the inside scoop on what’s coming to the paper.

like the paper, but on radio

34 | N O V E M B E R 2 1 , 2 0 1 9

I can’t imagine the overwhelming number of Christmas party invites you must receive. Good, lord, man. Grab a glass of eggnog and take a chill pill! Loosen up a little.

It’s the holidays!

Finding a man who shares your desire for simple B-day celebrations shouldn’t be hard, and it will give you one more thing in common. Your view on holiday traditions, however, might be a tougher nut to crack.

Traditions are special because they’re ingrained in our hearts for any variety of reasons. The idea that someone wants to share a custom with you should make you ecstatic, not irritated! You should, indeed, make your own traditions with your special guy, but don’t poo-poo his traditions either.

Is it really that hard for you to give in and enjoy special days the way your guy likes to? Are you unable to compromise when it comes to celebrations? Is this issue constantly causing problems in your relationships?

If so, you may want to talk to a therapist regarding your seemingly angry outlook. There might be some underlying issues a professional can help you uncover and, ultimately, deal with.

In the meantime, check out my social calendar, paint the town red, meet a guy (or two or three or seven) and try to enjoy the upcoming holidays.

Nov. 20—Pride Ride Wisconsin Happy Social at This Is It! (418 E. Wells St.): Jack Frost might not allow bikers to take to the road, but that’s not going to stop the comradery they share. Join LGBTQ bikers from all over the city when they host this 6 p.m. happy hour at Cathedral Square’s hottest bar.

Nov. 22—Patty Smyth & Scandal at The Northern Lights Theater (1721 W. Canal St.): The warrior is back! The rock queen of the ’80s visits Milwaukee with an 8 p.m. concert that’s sure to get your heart pumping and your feet moving. With hits like “Goodbye to You,” “Sometimes Love Just Ain’t Enough” and “Love’s Got a Line on You,” as well as Oscar and Grammy nominations, Patty Smyth has proven she remains a force to be reckoned with. Nab your tickets (starting at $25) at ticketmaster.com.

Nov. 22—WREX at D.I.X. (739 S. First St.): My Windy City gal pal, TRex, struts her silly stuff into Cream City with the return of this popular variety show. The fun starts at 10 p.m. with drink specials and more.

Don’t miss the 11 p.m. competition with new(ish) drag queen competing for a spot in a D.I.X. premiere show. If you haven’t experienced the hilarity of T-Rex, this is your chance!

Nov. 23—“Queens of the Night” at Ho-Chunk Gaming Nekoosa (949 Country Road G, Nekoosa): They got the stuff that you want, they got the thing that you need... they’re the queens of the night, and they’re taking over Ho-Chunk! Grab your tickets to the casino’s first-ever drag show at the gaming center’s Rewards Club Booth ($25 day of show, $15 in advance).

Nov. 25—Tommy Odetto at The Jazz Estate (2423 N. Murray Ave.): Misha Siegfried welcomes hottie Tommy Odetto for blues night at Milwaukee’s premier jazz club. The 8 p.m. evening of music includes a pinch of mayhem without a door charge.

Nov. 26—50 & Better Dining Club at Miss Katie’s Diner (1900 W. Clybourn St.): The team at Milwaukee LGBT Community Center understands how hard it can be to make new friends as the years go by, so they happily host this dinner club for folks over 50. Join the 6 p.m. meal, where you’re on your own for food and beverage but the smiles and friendships are free. When you arrive, simply ask for the FAB Group!

Ask Ruthie a question or share your events with her at DearRuthie@Shepex.com. Follow her on Instagram @ruthiekeester and Facebook at Dear Ruthie. Don’t miss the Halloween special from her reality show, “Camp Wannakiki Season 2,” on YouTube now.

Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::MYLGBTQPoint of View

Milwaukee Admirals Present a Pride Night of Hockey ::BY PAUL MASTERSON

T

HE MILWAUKEE ADMIRALS TEAM HAS JUST ANNOUNCED ITS FIRST ANNUAL MILWAUKEE ADMIRALS PRIDE NIGHT. It takes place Wednesday, Feb. 5, at the UW-Milwaukee Panther Arena. With that, our local professional hockey team joins the Milwaukee Brewers and Bucks in welcoming the LGBTQ community for an all-American sports experience.

Admittedly, I don’t have a clue about hockey. It’s all rather foreign to me. My first exposure to the sport was back in the day when I was home in Connecticut for the holidays. A friend took me to a Hartford Whalers game against the Montréal Canadiens. He tried to explain the rules to me but promptly gave up.

I still have (somewhere) a hockey puck from that game, unremarkable as it is.

Fast forward decades, when, over the course of a season, an acquaintance invited me to join him for a number of Admirals games. What followed were evenings I’ll never forget.

For my inaugural game, I arrived early at the Bradley Center and, as I waited, observed fans carrying cow bells. Well, it’s Wisconsin, after all, I thought. Then, my acquaintance appeared. Coming directly from the office in his suit and duffle coat, I jokingly asked him, “Where’s your cow bell?” Of course, he pulled one out of his pocket.

We settled into our seats just a row or two away from the ice, “against the glass,” as they say. Unlike other sports, there’s a lot of entertainment beyond the game.

That first night, like the Brewers’ racing sausages, the Admirals’ entr’acte activities included racing cheese tubs on skates (Port Wine won, as I recall). Then, in another nod to local culture, a contrived giant slingshot fired a lucky fan, seated on a flying saucer SHEPHERD EXPRESS

snow disk thing, across the ice as a human bowling ball into a set of oversized pins. At some point, a zeppelin passed overhead dropping pizza gift certificates. “Oh, the humanity!” I screamed to myself. At some point, there was a pie eating contest.

I do recall some actual play, interrupted by flailing melees as it often was, clarifying to the uninitiated why the game is played with sticks. Unlike football, where smashing an opponent’s head with a helmet is considered unsportsmanlike, apparently, to accommodate the sensitive and short-tempered nature of the average hockey player, violent outbursts are encouraged, albeit with a brief penalty box time-out to chastise recalcitrant rumblers. But it is during these frenetic moments when the cow bells come in… and the chants. There are number of fan chants, but the easiest to remember is “You suck!” It can be directed disapprovingly towards referees or opposing team members.

Mercifully, in the midst of all this come calming moments of mesmerizing meditation as the Zamboni periodically resurfaces the ice.

Anyway, the Admirals Pride Night offers both reluctant and avid fans a midwinter night’s respite from the doldrums of the season. Also, the special Pride Night ticket price includes a winter cap emblazoned with a rainbow Admirals logo. Maybe there’ll be racing (or better yet, brawling) drag queens on skates, as well. And don’t forget to bring a cow bell!

Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n

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N O V E M B E R 2 1 , 2 0 1 9 | 35

::MUSIC

COURTESY OF THE BAND

FEATURE | ALBUM REVIEWS | CONCERT REVIEWS | LOCAL MUSIC

Semi-Twang

Semi-Twang Helps Celebrate Shank Hall Turning 30 ::BY BLAINE SCHULTZ

ilwaukee’s Semi-Twang began as an offshoot of the R&B Cadets, garnering prestigious opening slots for the likes of Emmylou Harris. The band signed with Warner Bros. and released the album Salty Tears in 1988. Recorded in Los Angeles with three producers (Chris Thomas, Mitchell Froom and Jerry Harrison), Semi-Twang front man John Sieger has since said he could record a handful of albums with that debut’s budget.

Eventually, Sieger got his wish. Though SemiTwang disbanded in 1991, they reunited in 2009 to play Shank Hall’s 20th anniversary.

That gig sparked a second act that includes three albums and counting.

Semi-Twang plays the 30th anniversary of Shank Hall with opening act Loey Norquist on Saturday, Nov. 23. As Loey Nelson, Norquist recorded demos with Semi-Twang that led to her 1990 album for Warner Bros., Venus Kissed the Moon.

Rock is a young person’s game, and 30 years in the music business is a very long time. Previously a rock club (Teddy’s) and a comedy club (The Funny Bone), Peter Jest’s Shank Hall (the name is a reference to the mockumentary This Is Spinal Tap) has found a way to make it work. His 300-seat music venue does one thing and does it well: music.

In anticipation of the show, Semi-Twang’s Mike Hoffmann (guitar); Bob Jennings (keyboard-saxophone), Bob Schneider (drums); John Sieger (vocals-guitar) and his brother Mike Sieger (bass-vocals) all chimed in on questions regarding the band’s time machine of a career. (Original guitarist Mike Judy was replaced by Jason Klagstad, who played in early versions of both chapters of the band.)

Schneider recalls “feelings of excitement to be doing all original material.

After the first few demos, hopes of national interest grew,” as the first incarnation of Semi-Twang took off. “I’ve worked with the Sieger brothers since seeing the R&B Cadets back in 1980,” says Jennings. “When John talked about forming another group to concentrate on his writing, I was totally on board because

36 | N O V E M B E R 2 1 , 2 0 1 9

his songs were uniquely poignant and funny, and the style appealed to my musical sensibilities—R&B, soul, country.”

According to Mike Sieger, the transition from simply recording demos to a fullfledged band with serious label interest was so quick that it was hard to keep up with the speed at which it happened. “John and I had been playing music together for 20 years or so at that point and reconciling how long it had taken and how fast it went when it happened made it all the more exciting.” he says.

While in Los Angeles recording Salty Tears, Jennings suffered food poisoning during a dinner with producer Chris Thomas (whose credits include work with the Beatles, Sex Pistols and Pink Floyd). John Sieger heard that John Fogerty liked the album. Mike Sieger recalls the sojourn as “the bulk of our days in California were spent in dark rehearsal rooms or recording studios.” So much for swimming pools and movie stars.

By the time Semi-Twang disbanded no one knew what the future would hold. Maybe they didn’t realize it at the time, but these guys are lifers. They found work. Hoffmann played with Loey Nelson’s Carnival Strippers, The Carolinas, melaniejane and The Delta Routine in various capacities. (Like SemiTwang, his bands Yipes! and E*I*E*I*O* would also reunite.)

Jennings joined Paul Cebar and the Milwaukeeans (Tomorrow Sound) and Blue in the Face. Bassist Sieger played behind road-dog Pat McCurdy. John Sieger moved to Nashville, making a number of valuable songwriting connections. When he returned to Milwaukee, he played with El Supremo and The Subcontinentals. The only sensible decision was made

by Schneider. Focusing on lawn bowling, in 2008 he won the SemiChina Open GOLD International medal for Team USA. Twang “The band came apart slowly, losing one member, then another, until gigs were becoming so rare that we all Saturday, headed in different directions,” Mike Sieger explains. “John Nov. 23, eventually moved to Nashville, and that was the end of it. I 8 p.m. considered going to Austin but was working and enjoying Shank Hall my day job in my cabinet shop and was playing a lot and never made the move.”

John Sieger admits he had stars in his eyes when the band grasped the brass ring. The reality and the wreckage were rough. He wasn’t able to think about the remote possibility of the band playing together.

“There were moments when I didn’t know if I’d be together. A month after the record came out my older sister died suddenly. Six months later I got married.

All of this was going on as the lines of communication with the record company were going quiet,” he says. “It was a complicated year. I was barely able to process, let alone think about the future. I knew I loved the band and the chemistry we had, but it was a challenge for a mood-disordered guy.”

For more of Semi-Twang, visit shepherdexpress.com.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

For more MUSIC, log onto shepherdexpress.com

Surviving in the Changing World of Live Music Jim Linneman and Shank Hall’s Peter Jest talk about the challenges ::BY BLAINE SCHULTZ AND DAVID LUHRSSEN

L

et’s define terms: A rock club isn’t a concert hall or a restaurant with a stage but a bar that books bands regularly.

In Milwaukee, many have come and gone in the last few decades, but two venues have been at it the longest: Shank Hall (opened in 1989) and Linneman’s Riverwest Inn (opened in 1993).

Turns out their owners, Peter Jest (Shank) and Jim Linneman (Riverwest) crossed paths at UW-Milwaukee in the early ’80s when Linneman was in student government and Jest was founding a student organization, the Alternative Concert Group, to fill the campus’ underused facilities with music. We caught up with the veteran club owners at Riverwest’s Fuel Café and badgered them with questions.

Do you have a philosophy or mission statement?

JL: We have nothing posted on the walls. If we did, it would be “Have fun, be yourself.”

PJ: We’ll give everyone a chance—especially with local bands, we’ll give everyone a chance. But we need to pay overhead. Our staff relies on us for income. We can’t afford to book you again if you don’t draw people.

Why do you continue to book live music?

JL: That’s what we do. Over the years, the quantity of music in Milwaukee, the variety of bands, has varied greatly. It’s more difficult to book bands sometimes than at other times. With me, my love of music came from my mother. She had 100 albums and bought me my own stereo in 1964, and in 1966 she bought me a guitar. I’ve been a music junkie all my life.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

PJ: It’s sort of the same thing. I got into promoting concerts because I love music, but I can’t play and I don’t have a voice for radio.

When Century Hall burned down [in 1988], I saw there was a need for a bigger place for music. When the Funny Bone closed [at the site of Shank Hall], it made sense to keep the place going.

So, everything blossomed from being music fans?

PJ: It’s the music business. You have to love music, but you have to have a sense for business.

How many clubs have closed since you guys started?

JL: More than 100. I have a list of them on my computer. A lot of them were afterthoughts: “Oh, we have a back room!”

Jim, you booked Country Joe McDonald and Peter, you booked Arlo Guthrie. Both are artists who played Woodstock. What impact did the philosophy of that era have on you personally?

JL: It had everything to do with it. It was a big time in American music, and it made a lasting impression on me. I had a ride to Woodstock, but my mother wouldn’t let me go—I was only 14!

PJ: I was 5 when Woodstock happened. I wasn’t part of it, but I bonded with Arlo. We’re real close. And the ’60s and ’70s was when all the good music was happening. That’s when record companies cared about artists and promoted their development.

Do you see yourselves as responsible for the health of the music scene?

JL: I don’t know about the health, but our open stage is where a lot of local musicians started. It has contributed to a number of people, including Lil’ Rev and Chris Voss. Rev was driving a bus for Milwaukee County full time—he came to the open mic every week when he said, “I’m quitting my job.” I told him, you have benefits and music is a tough gig. That was 20-plus years later and he’s still making it work.

Chris said in an interview that our open stage is where he first played in front of people and learned to write songs. Now he’s opened for Dave Matthews and is really making waves. That meant a lot to me.

PJ: We do what we can. We like to be there when a band has a CD release or a special show.

Are the challenges of the music business different today than when you began?

PJ: There used to be a lot of small talent agencies and bands with trusted managers.

Then Live Nation came along, and record labels dropped bands if the first album didn’t

Jim Linneman and Peter Jest

sell. Labels don’t develop artists anymore.

They put out one record; if it doesn’t sell, they drop you. Festivals don’t develop artists. The club is so important because there are bands on the way up or down or those who stay at the same level. They will never be a theater or arena act but who remain consistent and have their fans because they are so good. NRBQ is a good example. They found a way to make it work.

What has remained the same in the Milwaukee music scene?

JL: Cool, really good people. I feel proud to have a place where people can come to feel comfortable and safe and warm. The magic that happens when the musicians get together is what makes it all happen.

BY BLAINE SCHULTZ

PJ: The people who come to Shank are not tourists. They come looking for original live music and they leave happy. It’s fun being in a business where people leave happy.

Are you in competition with coffee shops that book bands?

JL: A lot them are booking music. It’s definitely competition.

PJ: It’s a little bit of competition for Shank, but in some of those places, bands can’t even do sound checks during the dinner hour. If you’re a musician you’re competing with the sound of rattling plates!

JL: I’ve written three songs, and when I write three or four more, I might release a CD. I think I’ll call my band The Rattling Plates!

11/21 Twan Mack 11/29 No 414 Live HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

N O V E M B E R 2 1 , 2 0 1 9 | 37

::THISWEEKINMILWAUKEE COURTESY OF THE BAND

::LOCALMUSIC

FRIDAY, NOV. 22

Wisconsin Doomed and Stoned Fest @ The Cooperage, 6 p.m.

The first annual Wisconsin Doomed and Stoned Fest features a dozen bands over two days, including Friday’s headliner Toke and Saturday’s headliner Mothership. The lineup of heavy doom, stoner and psychedelia showcases some of the best in the genres that our great state has to offer and some great national and regional touring acts from all over the country.

Holiday Folk Fair International @ State Fair Park

Tangled Lines’ ‘Decade’ of Rootsy Americana

A

::BY MIKE STUPAK

lot of what passes for decent original music strives to represent the collective experience of the writers involved and hopes to convey that experience in ways their audience will understand and gravitate toward.

With their latest release, Decade, Tangled Lines manages not only to hit that mark, but to do so with a strong command of harmony, good arrangements and glove-tight playing that can turn on a dime when needed.

Favoring a familiar, country rock-rootsy Americana style recalling perhaps the Gin Blossoms or the BoDeans, as well as with a nod to the Everly Brothers, Decade finds the Milwaukee band in great form.

It features well-crafted country-pop styled tunes that touch on relationships, growth, hopes and fears and other personal experiences, with classic hooks that will pull you in at every turn. Singer-guitarist James Davies and bassist Ryan Kutz recently shared their excitement over their latest release.

“When we started, we had no intention of playing out live in front of people,” says vocalist-guitarist James Davies. “For me, it was just cool to have someone else to play with. Now we’re writing our own songs, we’ve got two CDs out, and we’ve played in a bunch of places, including clubs, county fairs and outdoor festivals.”

The current lineup—with John Bonner (keyboards), Brent Manor (banjo, electric guitar) and Dan Somers (drums)—came together two years ago when they added bassist Ryan Kutz and began to record.

Their first CD generated some excitement, and with their new release they hope to continue to build on this.

“We came up with the title Decade for the new CD from the overall sound of the songs and the Tangled decade that influenced them,” Davies says. “Some are definitely styled from the ’80s and ’90s, and Lines one even has an almost disco beat, like from the Friday, ’70s. The title is also reflective of our band memDec. 6, 8 p.m. bers, who range in age from early 20s to 50s, and Twisted Path the various influences we’ve had.”

Distillery Decade starts strong with “Pollyanna,” a fulltilt country rocker, while the autobiographical “My Streets” could seem right at home in a set by the E Street Band. “A Little Time” rocks and sways along, offering both availability and vulnerability, and on “Catalyst,” the band come into their own with a Beatles-esque pop-rocker that manages to highlight the best side of their overall sound.

“Brent and I do all the songwriting,” Davies adds. “On our first CD, it’s a good healthy mix, but on this new one, it’s mostly my music with Brent’s lyrics on most of them, which is why the sound kind of went the way it did.”

Tangled Lines’ CD release party takes place at Twisted Path Distillery, 2018 S. First St., on Friday, Dec. 6, at 8 p.m.

38 | N O V E M B E R 2 1 , 2 0 1 9

SATURDAY, NOV. 23

Saebra & Carlyle w/ Nato Coles and Night Water @ Bremen Café, 9 p.m.

Saebra & Carlyle is a 1972 Ford Gran Torino going too fast around a gravel-strewn curve on a rainy night. Saebra Laken’s tormented vocals paired with Carlyle Nowak’s guitar is a raw conflagration that recalls The Gun Club.

ROB HOLYSZ

Tangled Lines

The 76th annual Holiday Folk Fair International, America’s premier multi-cultural festival, is held Friday, Nov. 22, through Sunday, Nov. 24. It is themed “Celebrate the Culture of Language—Indigenous and Heritage” and focuses on the cultural heritage of people in southeastern Wisconsin. Fair-goers can explore how the language of those from around the world shape how they communicate and what they share with the next generation.

The three-day event features entertainment provided by the All Nations Theater with traditional music and dance; World Café offering traditional dishes; International Stage with young people performing their ethnic dances; Tanzhauz, where attendees dance and sing along with a variety of musical stylings; a Coffee House where patrons enjoy a beverage and baked goods while listening to musicians; Heritage Lane with unique traditions and customs through interactive exhibits; the International Bazaar where cultural artifacts create a unique shopping experience; and the Chef’s Stage featuring local chefs preparing traditional cuisine.

SUNDAY, NOV. 24 Hari Kondabolu @ The Backroom at Colectivo, 8 p.m.

Brooklyn, N.Y.-based comedian Hari Kondabolu’s documentary The Problem with Apu, about the stereotypical character on The Simpsons, led to worldwide press attention and a lot of conversation. His widely praised Netflix comedy special, Warn Your Relatives, is hailed as a good way to detox from hate speech.

MONDAY, NOV. 25

Jazz at Noon @ Skylight Music Theatre, noon

Hari Kondabolu

Jazz at Noon has moved to the Skylight for the winter months. Listeners can order a catered box lunch and enjoy some great music to start the work week. This week’s musicians are bassist George Wellend, drummer Randy Maio and mainstay Don Linke on guitar.

TUESDAY, NOV. 26

‘The Band’s Visit’ @ Marcus Center for the Performing Arts

The Band’s Visit won 10 Tony Awards (including Best Musical in 2018). It was also the 2018 Grammy Award winner for Best Musical Theater Album. In the delightfully offbeat story set in a town off the beaten path, a band of musicians arrive lost, out of the blue. Under the spell of the desert sky and with beautiful music perfuming the air, the band brings the town to life in unexpected and tantalizing ways. Even the briefest visit can stay with you forever. (Through Sunday, Dec. 1)

Elvis Costello and the Imposters’ ‘Just Trust Tour’ @ Miller High Life Theatre, 7:30 p.m.

After 42 years, you’d think Elvis Costello would take a breather. No such luck. The onetime angry young man emerged as a restless artist who has collaborated with the likes of Paul McCartney, Allen Toussaint and Tony Bennett. While he’s dipped his toe in opera and country western music, recent set lists show a fair amount of his classics—even a handful from the album Trust. The evergreen Imposters (Steve Nieve on keyboards, Pete Thomas on drums and bass and vocalist Davey Faragher) are joined by vocalists Kitten Kuroi and Briana Lee, who add even more depth to Costello’s rich tunes.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

MUSIC::LISTINGS To list your event, go to shepherdexpress.com/events and click submit an event

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 21

Anodyne Coffee Roasting Co. (Walker’s Point), Nickel&Rose w/Amythyst Kiah Cafe Carpe (Fort Atkinson), Song Circle w/Tricia Alexander (6:30pm) Caroline’s Jazz Club, The Group w/Eddie Butts Clarke Hotel (Waukesha), Ginni & JoAnna Marie (6pm) County Clare Irish Inn & Pub, Acoustic Irish Folk w/ Barry Dodd Jazz Estate, Eric Jacobson Trio: “Chet’s Choice” Kochanski’s Concertina Beer Hall, Roadhouse RaveUp Open Jam Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Dr. Noah of Dr. Noah’s Ark Mason Street Grill, Mark Thierfelder Jazz Trio (5:30pm) McAuliffe’s On The Square (Racine), Open Mic Night O’Donoghues Irish Pub (Elm Grove), The All-Star SuperBand (6pm) Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Kirk Tatnall Rave / Eagles Club, Parker McCollum (all-ages, 8pm) Rock Country MKE, Jeff Walski Unplugged Rounding Third Bar and Grill, World’s Funniest Free Comedy Show Sazzy B (Kenosha), Gypsy Jazz Shank Hall, Cody Canada & The Departed Story Hill FireHouse, Grassroots Open Mic & Feature Showcase w/Loud Library (6pm) The Hidden Barrel (South Milwaukee), Pajama Thursday w/Joel Plewa & Patrick Klaybor The Packing House, Barbara Stephan & Peter Mac (6pm) Transfer Pizzeria Café, Martini Jazz Lounge Up & Under, No Vacancy Comedy Open Mic Nite X-Ray Arcade, Amigo The Devil w/King Dude & Twin Temple

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 22

Ally’s Bistro (Menomonee Falls), CP & Stoll w/Chris Peppas & Jeff Stoll American Legion Post #399 (Okauchee), Cowboy Up American Legion Post #449 (Brookfield), Eccentric Duo Caroline’s Jazz Club, Donna Woodall Group Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: Obscure Birds (8pm); DJ: Fazio (10pm) ComedySportz, ComedySportz Milwaukee!

Company Brewing, 53212 Presents Fundraiser w/De La Buena County Clare Irish Inn & Pub, Traditional Irish Ceilidh Session Fire on Water, The MilBillies George’s Tavern (Racine), Lonesome Woody Iron Mike’s (Franklin), Friday Jam Session w/Steve Nitros & the Liquor Salesmen Jazz Estate, Julito y la Sonora Del Valle (8pm), Late Night Session: Gramma Matrix Late Night Vinyl (11:30pm) Lake Lawn Resort, Brian Fictum Lakefront Brewery, Brewhaus Polka Kings (5:30pm) Mamie’s, The Incorruptibles Mason Street Grill, Phil Seed Trio (6pm) Mo’s Irish Pub, Tinker Boys Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: KIC Duo Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In the Northern Lights Theater: Patty Smyth and Scandal Rave / Eagles Club, ScHoolboy Q w/NAV (all-ages, 8pm), Rod Tuffcurls & The Bench Press (all-ages, 8pm) Red Rock Saloon, Nick Lynch Richy’s (Big Bend), Neil Diamond Tribute w/Eric Diamond Rock Country, Toxic: Britney B!tch Burlesque Shank Hall, Dead Letter Office (R.E.M. Tribute) w/ Without U2 (U2 tribute) Sloppy Joe’s (Hubertus), Robert Allen Jr. Band The Back Room @ Colectivo, Ghost of Paul Revere The Cooperage, Wisconsin Doomed and Stoned Fest The End Zone Sports Bar & Grill (Delavan), Johnny B String & Things The Local / Club Anything, Protector 101, Street cleaner, & Nevada Hardware The Miramar Theatre, LSDream w/Shlump & Digital Ethos (all-ages, 9pm) The Packing House, Tracy Hannemann Group (6:30pm) Turner Hall Ballroom, Colors & Chords SHEPHERD EXPRESS

Up & Under, Young Revelators X-Ray Arcade, John K Samson & Christine Fellows

The Back Room @ Colectivo, Hari Kondabolu Turner Hall Ballroom, Kyle Kinane X-Ray Arcade, Single Mothers w/Magnetic Minds & Fellow Kinsman (6pm)

Shank Hall, Ike Reilly Assassination Traditions Pub (Fredonia), Robert Allen Jr. Band Transfer Pizzeria Café, Transfer House Band w/Dennis Fermenich

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 23

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 25

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 27

American Legion Post #399 (Okauchee), Mad Trucker Gone Mad American Legion Post #449 (Brookfield), Rich Trueman & the 22nd Street Horn Band Bremen Cafe, Night Water w/Saebra & Carlyle & Nato Coles Cactus Club, Giants Chair w/Panic on Panic & Devils Teeth Cafe Carpe (Fort Atkinson), Bill Camplin w/Barry Riese & Steve Tesmer Caroline’s Jazz Club, The Paul Spencer Band Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: Tommys w/Lack Of Reason (8pm); DJ: Quixotic Control (10pm) Club Garibaldi, Andrew Wayne & The Mud Creek Road w/OEM ComedySportz, ComedySportz Milwaukee!

Company Brewing, Old Prospectors album release w/ Neocaveman & Young Revs County Clare Inn and Pub, Hearthfire Full Band Crimson Club, The First Wave Cue Club of Wisconsin (Waukesha), 5 Card Studs Elkhorn Saloon (Elkhorn), Matt MF Tyner & Jim Schoberg Duo George’s Tavern (Racine), Cactii Jazz Estate, Scott Currier Trio (8pm), Late Night Session: Yanni Chudnow Trio (11:30pm) Kochanski’s Concertina Beer Hall, The Rogue Electrics w/Chris Head and the Honchos & Modern Joey Lake Lawn Resort, Terry Sweet (6pm) Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Redcard w/The Nightinjails MOTOR Bar & Restaurant, Bulleit Bourbon Presents BBQ & Blues (5pm) Mason Street Grill, Jonathan Wade Trio (6pm) Milwaukee Ale House, The Screamin’ Cucumbers Mineshaft (Hartford), Random Maxx Trio Mo’s Irish Pub, The Listening Party Mugz Pub & Grill (Muskego), Mugz Open Jam w/host Pottersfield Pabst Milwaukee Brewery & Taproom, Easy Like Saturdays: Andrew David Weber (2pm), Blue Ribbon Comedy Show (9pm) Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: The Twintones Rave / Eagles Club, Summer Walker w/Melii (all-ages, 8pm) Riverside Theater, Franco Escamilla Rock Country MKE, Bad Boy Route 20 (Sturtevant), Bella Cain Saloon on Calhoun with Bacon, 33 RPM Sazzy B (Kenosha), The Bruce Mak Trio Shank Hall, 30th Anniversary Shank show w/SemiTwang & Loey Nelson The Back Room @ Colectivo, Jack Klatt w/Buffalo Nichols The Cheel / The Baaree (Thiensville), Cameron Webb Soul Trio The Cooperage, Wisconsin Doomed and Stoned Fest The Miramar Theatre, Haywyre (all-ages, 8pm) The Packing House, Joe Jordan & The Soul Trio (6:30pm) Walker’s Point Music Hall, Brew City Bombshells Presents The Naughty List X-Ray Arcade, Armillaria w/Dirty Dancing, CRLSS, Genau & Jake Marin (6:30pm)

Broadway Theatre Center, Jazz at Noon: George Wellend, Randy Maio and Don Linke (12pm) Jazz Estate, Blues Night: Misha Siegfried & Tommy Odetto Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Poet’s Monday w/host Timothy Kloss & featured reader Wisconsin Poet Laureate Margaret Rozga (sign-up 7:30pm, 8-11pm) Mason Street Grill, Joel Burt Duo (5:30pm) Paulie’s Pub and Eatery, Open Jam w/hosts Josh Becker, Annie Buege, Ally Hart or Marr’lo Parada Up & Under, Open Mic

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 26

Brewtown Eatery, Blues & Jazz Jam w/Jeff Stoll, Joe Zarcone & David “Harmonica” Miller (6pm) JC’S Pub, Open Mic w/host Audio is Rehab Jazz Estate, The Erotic Adventures of the Static Chicken Jazz Gallery Center for the Arts / Riverwest Artists Association, Tuesday Night Jazz Jam Mamie’s, Open Blues Jam w/Marvelous Mack Mary’s Caddyshack (New Berlin), Robert Allen Jr. Band Mason Street Grill, Jamie Breiwick Group (5:30pm) McAuliffe’s (Racine), Jim Yorgan Sextet Miller High Life Theatre, Elvis Costello & the Imposters Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Al White (4pm) Rave / Eagles Club, Louis The Child w/Duckwrth, John The Blind & Ilo Ilo (all-ages, 8pm) Red Circle Inn (Nashotah), Dick Eliot and Greg Shaffer (6pm)

Bremen Cafe, Wylie Jakobs w/WT Newton & Jayke Orvis County Clare Inn and Pub, Brian Kirkpatrick Cue Club of Wisconsin (Waukesha), Jessie Marie & The Rippers Hogger’s Pub (Hartland), Robert Allen Jr. Band Iron Mike’s (Franklin), B Lee Nelson & KZ Acoustic Jam Jazz Estate, Pocket Change Kochanski’s Concertina Beer Hall, Polka Open Jam Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Nod to Bob: Bob Dylan Tribute & Hunger Task Force Fundraiser w/many performers Mason Street Grill, Jamie Breiwick Group (5:30pm) Milwaukee Ale House, Detour Morton’s (Cedarburg), Paul Stilin w/Gervis Myles, Raymond Tevich, Dave Cornette & Jeff Harrington (6:30pm) Mugz Pub & Grill (Muskego), Pierre Lee Blues Band Paulie’s Field Trip, Wednesday Night Afterparty w/ Dave Wacker & guests Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Al White Public Table, Trapper Schoepp Route 20 (Sturtevant), WIIL Rock Turkey Baster Beer Bash w/Jackyl Shank Hall, Seaside Zoo - Grateful Dead Tribute The Cheel / The Baaree (Thiensville), Dan Dance Trio (6:30pm) The Cooperage, 5 Card Studs w/Radio Radio The Packing House, Carmen Nickerson & Kostia Efimov (6pm) Union Park Tavern (Kenosha), Open Mic with host Mark Paffrath Wicked Hop, Jazz at Noon w/Don Linke

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 24

Anodyne Coffee Roasting Co. (Walker’s Point), Fox & Branch (11am) Cactus Club, Milwaukee Record Halftime Show: Fox Face (3pm) Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: Derek Pritzl & Friends (8pm); DJ: Sextor (10pm) Iron Mike’s (Franklin), Sunday Jam w/Rockbound (4pm) J&B’s Blue Ribbon Bar and Grill, The Players Jam Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Cashfire Sunset w/Max “Loammah” Williamson, Ben Paul Williams & Brian Robert Kenney Rounding Third Bar and Grill, The Dangerously Strong Comedy Open Mic N O V E M B E R 2 1 , 2 0 1 9 | 39

DO AS I SAY!

THEME CROSSWORD

By James Barrick

Complete the grid so that every row, column and 3x3 box contains every digit from 1 to 9 inclusively.

© 2019 United Feature Syndicate, Dist. by Andrews McMeel Syndication

73. MGM mascot 74. Wife of Osiris 75. Prima donnas 76. In front 77. Krabappel of the “Simpsons” 78. Seine 79. Hurry!: 3 wds.

81. Went effortlessly 82. Nearness anagram 84. Price and Punic 85. Eye sores 86. Annoys 87. Lover: Suffix 89. Eastern servant 91. Bears 94. Like a beer, perhaps 95. Lawyer — Seward Darrow 99. Relax!: 3 wds.

101. Explain!: 3 wds.

103. Road of a kind 104. Entertain 105. Means of divination 106. Body passage 107. Microscopic 108. Old Norse poems 109. Cooks 110. Box DOWN 1. Actress — Sommer 2. Fastens 3. Civil rights org.

4. Binds 5. Name in a Rousseau title 6. Boarded: 2 wds.

7. Radicle 8. Imaginary being 9. Bar above the stern 10. Libertines 11. Indigenous Alaskan 12. Passed 13. Devilkin

14. Article of a kind 15. Cutting-edge 16. Soon 17. Salacious 18. Fish-eating birds 24. Name in an old musical 26. Path 29. Remainder 32. Flow of water 33. Get by swindling 34. Nourishes 35. Dole out 36. Resign!: 3 wds.

37. Eject 38. Cannabis drink 39. Understate!: 3 wds.

40. Lower in status 41. Saltpeter 43. Dead ducks 44. Rainbow 45. Special quality 46. All in 51. Until now: 2 wds.

53. Swerves 54. Varieties 55. Supports for a bridge 57. Boors 58. Most stark 59. Built to last 61. Hawaiian porch

63. “Common Sense” author 64. “Doll’s House” author 65. Grottoes 66. Pager emissions 67. Spring 68. “—, meenie ...”

69. Open ways 71. Things preferred 72. Portion 75. Astrophysical object: 2 wds.

76. Number crunchers 77. Of beauty: Var. 79. — Gras 80. Swirl 83. Four score and ten 85. Wraparound garment 87. — comitatus 88. POTUS No. 19 89. Concede 90. Soda fountain orders 91. Let it stand!

92. ‘70s sitcom 93. Similar 94. Cousin to a satyr 95. Bird bill part 96. — bene 97. Hints 98. Common French verb 100. Cassowary relative 102. Perfectly

11/14 Solution

WORD FIND This is a theme puzzle with the subject stated below. Find the listed words in the grid. (They may run in any direction but always in a straight line. Some letters are used more than once.) Ring each word as you find it and when you have completed the puzzle, there will be 21 letters left over. They spell out the alternative theme of the puzzle.

Choosing subjects Solution: 21 Letters

© 2019 Australian Word Games Dist. by Creators Syndicate Inc.

ACROSS 1. Small-sword descendant 5. Marsh bird 10. Part of RADAR 15. Fellow 19. Claim on property 20. Bucks and sawbucks 21. Go out on — — 22. Lulu 23. Stop!: 3 wds.

25. Hush!: 3 wds.

27. Onion 28. Pioneer in personality theory 30. Fads 31. Solar disc god 32. Reach a high point 33. Cluster bean 34. Prima — 37. Times 38. Part of the skull 42. — vital 43. Try!: 4 wds.

47. — jus incertum 48. Annexes 49. Corbeled window 50. Like some vegetables 51. Law: Abbr.

52. Amer. currency 53. — and snee 54. Bias 55. Charm school result 56. Most placid 58. Market town 59. Kitchen item 60. — de France 61. King or Csonka 62. Animals in harness 63. Offends 65. — du jour 66. Less distinct 70. Touches on 71. Traveled ways 72. Prophets

Solution to last week’s puzzle

Academic Affix Alumni Bag Bell Book Bus Cane Choir Comma Cram Daily Degree

Girls Guide Head Help History Ink Kindergarten Last Locker Loud Marks Maths Miss

Music New Note Noun Obey Oral Page Pass Pets Play Poem Practice Repeat

Rude Rules Scary Sew Study Swot Text Time Tiring Uniform Variety Verb

40 | N OV E M B E R 2 1, 2 0 1 9

11/14 Solution: Hard work but rewarding SHEPHERD EXPRESS

Solution: What are your favourites?

Creators Syndicate 737 3rd Street • Hermosa Beach, CA 90254 310-337-7003 • info@creators.com

Date: 11/21/19

::FREEWILLASTROLOGY ::BY ROB BREZSNY SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The Louvre Museum in Paris displays 38,000 objects throughout its 18 acres of floor space.

Among its most treasured 13th-century artworks is The Madonna and Child in Majesty Surrounded by Angels, a huge painting by Italian painter Cimabue.

When a museum representative first acquired it in the 19th century, its price was five francs, or less than a dollar. I urge you to be on the lookout for bargains like that in the coming weeks. Something that could be valuable in the future may be undervalued now.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Sagittarian performance artist Marina Abramović observes that Muhammad, Buddha, Jesus and Moses “all went to the desert as nobodies and came back as somebodies.” She herself spent a year in Australia’s Great Sandy Desert near Lake Disappointment, leading her to exclaim that the desert is “the most incredible place, because there is nothing there except yourself, and yourself is a big deal.” From what I can tell, Sagittarius, you’re just returning from your own metaphorical version of the desert, which is very good news. Welcome back! I can’t wait to see what marvels you spawn.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Upcoming events may bedevil your mind. They may mess with your certainties and agitate your self-doubts. But if you want my view about those possibilities, they’re cause for celebration. According to my analysis of the astrological indicators, you will benefit from having your mind bedeviled and your certainties messed with and your self-doubts agitated. You may ultimately even thrive and exult and glow like a miniature sun. Why? Because you need life to gently but firmly kick your ass in just the right way so you’ll become alert to opportunities you have been ignoring or blind to.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Every writer I’ve ever known says that a key practice to becoming a good writer is to read a lot of books. So, what are we to make of the fact that one of the 20 century’s most celebrated novelists didn’t hew to that principle? In 1936, three years before the publication of his last book, Aquarian-born James Joyce confessed that he had “not read a novel in any language for many years.” Here’s my take on the subject: More than any other sign of the zodiac, you Aquarians have the potential to succeed despite not playing by conventional rules. And I suspect your power to do that is even greater than usual these days.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it,” wrote Piscean novelist John Irving. In the coming weeks, Pisces, you will have the power to get clearer than ever before about knowing the way of life you love. As a bonus, I predict you will also have an expanded access to the courage necessary to actually live that way of life. Take full advantage!

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Beware of what disturbs the heart,” said Abdullah ibn Mas’ud, a companion of the prophet Muhammad. “If something unsettles your heart, then abandon it.” My wise Aries friend Artemisia has a different perspective. She advises, “Pay close attention to what disturbs the heart. Whatever has the power to unsettle your heart will show you a key lesson you must learn, a crucial task you’d be smart to undertake.”

Here’s my synthesis of Abdullah ibn Mas’ud and Artemisia: Do your very best to fix the problem revealed by your unsettled heart. Learn all you can in the process. Then, even if the fix isn’t totally perfect, move on.

Graduate from the problem for good.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Taurus social critic Bertrand Russell won the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1950. He’s regarded as the founder of analytic philosophy and one of the 20century’s premier intellectuals. But he went through a rough patch in 1940. He was adjudged “morally unfit” to accept his appointment as a professor at the City College of New York. The lawsuit that banned him from the job described him as being “libidinous, lustful, aphrodisiac, and irreverent.” Why? Simply because of his liberated opinions about sexuality, which he had conscientiously articulated in his book Marriage and Morals. In our modern era, we’re more likely to welcome libidinous, lustful, aphrodisiac and irrever-

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ent ideas if they’re expressed respectfully, as Russell did. With that as a subtext, I invite you to update and deepen your relationship with your own sexuality in the coming weeks.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In her poem “What the Light Teaches,” Anne Michaels describes herself arriving at a lover’s house soaked with rain, “dripping with new memory.” She’s ready for “one past to grow out of another.” In other words, she’s eager to leave behind the story that she and her lover have lived together up until now—and begin a new story. A similar blessing will be available for you in the coming weeks, Gemini: a chance for you and an intimate partner or close ally to launch a new chapter of your history together.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Some scientists deride astrology despite being ignorant about it. For example, they complain, “The miniscule gravitational forces beaming from the planets can’t possibly have any effect on our personal lives.” But the truth is that most astrologers don’t believe the planets exert influence on us with gravity or any other invisible force. Instead, we analyze planetary movements as evidence of a hidden order in the universe. It’s comparable to the way weather forecasters use a barometer to read atmospheric pressure but know that barometers don’t cause changes in atmospheric pressure. I hope this inspires you, Cancerian, as you develop constructive critiques of situations in your own sphere. Don’t rely on naive assumption and unwarranted biases. Make sure you have the correct facts before you proceed. If you do, you could generate remarkable transformations in the coming weeks.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): As you glide into the Season of Love, I’d love you to soak up wise counsel from the author bell hooks. (She doesn’t capitalize her name.) “Many people want love to function like a drug, giving them an immediate and sustained high,” she cautions. “They want to do nothing, just passively receive the good feeling.” I trust you won’t do that, Leo. Here’s more from hooks: “Dreaming that love will save us, solve all our problems or provide a steady state of bliss or security only keeps us stuck in wishful fantasy, undermining the real power of the love—which is to transform us.” Are you ready to be transformed by love, Leo? VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Burrow down as deep as you dare, Virgo. Give yourself pep talks as you descend toward the gritty core of every matter. Feel your way into the underground, where the roots meet the foundations. It’s time for you to explore the mysteries that are usually beneath your conscious awareness. You have a mandate to reacquaint yourself with where you came from and how you got to where you are now.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): It’s natural and healthy to feel both the longing to connect and the longing to be independent. Each of those urges deserves an honored place in your heart.

But you may sometimes experience them as being contradictory; their opposing pulls may rouse tension. I bring this to your attention because I suspect that the coming weeks will be a test of your ability to not just abide in this tension, but to learn from and thrive on it. For inspiration, read these words by Jeanette Winterson: “What should I do about the wild heart that wants to be free and the tame heart that wants to come home? I want to be held. I don’t want you to come too close. I want you to scoop me up and bring me home at night. I don’t want to tell you where I am. I want to be with you.”

Homework: Possible definition of happiness: the state that results from cultivating interesting, useful problems. What’s your definition? Freewillastrology. com.

Go to realastrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes and Daily Text Message Horoscopes. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 877873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

::NEWS OF THE WEIRD ::BY THE EDITORS OF ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

World’s Crappiest Gin

A

bout a year ago, Les and Paula Ansley of Mossel Bay, South Africa, stumbled upon a novel idea for a new type of spirit, which they call Indlovu Gin, the AP reports. During a safari, they learned that elephants eat a wide variety of fruits and flowers but digest less than a third of it. “As a consequence, in the elephant dung, you get the most amazing variety of these botanicals,” Les Ansley said. “Why don’t we let the elephants do the hard work of collecting all these botanicals, and we will make gin from it?” Why, indeed? They collect the dung themselves, by hand, and describe their gin’s flavor as “lovely, wooded, almost spicy, earthy.” (“Indlovu” means “elephant” in the Zulu language.) Each bottle’s label notes where the dung was gathered and when. “Most people are very keen to actually taste it,” Ansley said.

A bottle sells for about $32.

Dead Reckoning After losing in district court, convicted killer Benjamin Schreiber took an unusual claim to the Iowa Court of Appeals, but was shut down again on Wednesday, Nov. 6, according to The Washington Post. Schreiber, 66, was sentenced to life in prison in 1997, but in March 2015, he suffered a medical emergency in his prison cell that caused doctors to have to restart his heart five times. Schreiber thus claimed he had, albeit briefly, “died,” and therefore he had served his life sentence and should be released. The district judge didn’t buy it, though, saying the very filing of the motion by Schreiber proved he was still alive; the appeals court agreed, saying, “Schreiber is either alive, in which case he must remain in prison, or he is dead, in which case this appeal is moot.”

College Life… and Death?

A Dutch university now offers students a turn in the “purification grave,” a hole dug in the ground where students can lie down and reflect on their lives for up to three hours.

Radboud University initially offered the experience in 2009 as a temporary experiment, but due to increased demand, it’s back this year,

according to Vice. Students are not allowed to bring their phones or anything else with them into the grave. “You can see it as a special place of meditation: Below you the earth, above you the sky,” the university website explains. “You will then automatically notice what is going through your mind.” If you’re skittish about entering the grave, you can sit on the bench nearby. Radboud also offers its students “crying rooms” and “nap pods.”

Egg-scruciating Death Subhash Yadav, 42, of Jaunpur, India, visited a market to eat eggs with a friend, News18 reported on Monday, Nov. 4, but the two fell into an argument. To settle the dispute, police said, Yadav accepted a challenge to eat 50 eggs in exchange for 2,000 rupees. He ate 41 eggs, but just as he began to eat the 42nd, he collapsed, unconscious. He was rushed to the hospital but died a few hours later from complications of overeating.

Dead Ringer Hot Springs, Ark., paramedic Lisa Glaze, 50, was arrested on Monday, Nov. 11, after she allegedly cut a 1.7-carat diamond ring off the finger of a dead woman and sold it to a local pawn shop. The patient, Gloria Robinson, had been transported to a medical facility on Wednesday, Oct. 16, where she later died. When her personal items were returned to her family, they noticed three of her rings were missing, according to arrest documents. KTHV reports two of the rings were found, but investigators say Glaze sold the third ring at Hot Springs Classic Gun and Pawn for $45, and the band had been cut. Robinson’s sister retrieved the ring from the pawn shop and had it appraised, revealing it was worth almost $8,000. Glaze was charged with felony theft and misdemeanor unlawful transfer of stolen property.

Have a Ranchy Holiday!

For the person on your gift list this year who can’t get enough… ranch dressing, Hidden Valley comes to the rescue with a decorative holiday stocking full of its famous, creamy nectar. FanSided reports the Hidden Valley Ranch Custom Holiday Stocking measures 105 square inches, festooned in red and green, and filled with 52 ounces of the company’s Original Ranch Dressing. It comes with its own mantle holder and has a handy pouring spout at the toe. All that for $35. © 2019 ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

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I

’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So here I am, back in the saddle again for the time being, but hey: Holy focking schnikes, how ’bout the premature frigidity of this weather we’ve had around here for christ sakes. Jeez louise, and for those of you’s who got caught with your winter pants down and now got the heebie-jeebies, wondering how the heck you will ever persevere as if you just sucked down a warmed-over mug of gluten-full Ebola? I simply advise you to do what me and my crowd do to get through the winter weather. Two things: Crank up the thermostat and mix another hot focking toddy. Survival guaranteed.

For me, I have only perennially fond regards for our winter season—late October through maybe the first half of May—and you should too. To wit: No goddamn insects to bug the bejesus out of you just because you stepped outdoors, and no jagamuffins driving around town with the windows rolled down so as to blare and share their particularly poor taste in music with me, the pedestrian. If only we could make it be winter each and every day of the year, ain’a?

Allow me to interrupt myself to say that now that we’ve got the Fiserv palace up and running for the basketball and loud-music crowd, it’s time to again look toward the future. How ’bout to make Beer Town winters more enjoyable if not tolerable for the whiners, I propose a grand project whose completion would make the Great Wall of China, the Great Pyramid of Giza and the Mausoleum of Mausolus at Halicarnassus look like beanbag, what the fock.

I propose the construction and erection of a nice climate-controlled dome to envelope the City of Milwaukee proper. It would put a lot of people to work, be a destination point for tourists and retirees and attract a lot of favorable press. With a climate-controlled dome, there would’ve been no need for a $500 million basketball joint.

The hoopsters could’ve played on an outdoor court that would’ve cost about a buck two-eighty. And the suburbs can build their own domes, screw ’em.

Anyways, whilst away on ass-ignment of late, I began to think of starting a support group for those sick to death of trying to look on the bright side of things, who are tired of hoping for good things to happen; what with President Trumpel-thinskin still taking up space in the White House and a bunch of knobshine Republicans calling all the shots in the Senate You see, I, Art Kumbalek, am a recovering blue-sky high-octane sunshine on your lolli-focking-pop kind of kitten-up-atree optimist. How ’bout that? And I have to live each day the rest of my life knowing that at any time I could slip and have a cheery thought powerful enough to send me back through that door of insanity and unreality, making my life unmanageable.

(Hey, speaking of “kitten,” I’m reminded of a little story: A teacher is explaining

biology to her fourth-grade students. “Human beings are the only animals that stutter,” she says.

A little girl raises her hand. “I had a kitty-cat who stuttered,” she volunteered. The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could be, asked the girl to elaborate.

“I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler who lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!”

“That must’ve been scary,” the teacher said.

“It sure was,” the little girl said. “My kitty went ‘Fffff, Fffff, Fffff’... And before he could say ‘Fock,’ the Rottweiler bit his head off!” Ba-ding!)

So back to my support group, I’ll tell you’s the road of my recovery has been long. It was 1959, I was a lad when our Braves lost a one-game playoff to the L.A. Dodgers for the opportunity to go on to the World Series. It was then, simultaneous with the final out, that I made a searching and fearless inventory of myself and the real world I live in and realized that maybe life does suck after all. A little more than a year later, when the Packers, charging down the field, lost 17-13 to the Eagles in Philadelphia ’cause time ran out, there was no “maybe.” Life sucked.

And my support group would not be just some kind of men’s thing ’cause really, how far can you really get sitting around complaining about how there’s no topless hardware stores and how they keep jacking up the fine for parking in handicap zones? You tell me.

And then I’ll tell you that Art’s Doom of Actual Reality Group is for everybody of a sex—there’s plenty of snuggling room under my big top. Come one, come all, and repeat after me: “Expect to lose, expect the worst, and you can never be disappointed.” And if that doesn’t make you feel better, then the hell with you’s ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.

THOMAS NORTHCUT

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