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PHIL VASSAR & LONESTAR:
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::NEWS&VIEWS THE SIGMA GROUP
FEATURES | POLLS | TAKING LIBERTIES | ISSUE OF THE WEEK
Urban Ecology Center
KRISTINE HINRICHS PHOTOGRAPHY
Three Bridges Park
Third Space Brewing
Sobelmans Pub & Grill
Three Bridges Park
The Greening of Menomonee Valley HOW PUBLIC AND PRIVATE DOLLARS IMPROVED THE ENVIRONMENT, COMMUNITY AND ECONOMY ::BY MARY SUSSMAN
n the last 20 years, the Menomonee Valley has been transformed from a post-industrial wasteland contaminated by more than a century of heavy industry into an unusual amalgam of green space, light industrial and retail redevelopment. It happened because of active collaboration between the City of Milwaukee, numerous private entities and the non-profit Menomonee Valley Partners, which coordinated the redevelopment project. “The collection of individual projects has been quite amazing,” says Dave Misky, who worked on the Menomonee Valley redevelopment financing as assistant executive director of the Redevelopment Authority of the City of Milwaukee. “The support from the private and public sectors, which have worked together, has gone surprisingly well. I think you are seeing similar patterns of public and private investment now being done in the 30th Street corridor and Harbor District. I think we learned how to do it in the Menomonee Valley.” Slightly more than $1 billion was invested in the Menomonee Valley since 1998, says Corey Zetts, executive director of the Menomonee Valley Partners. This includes $162 million of public
4 | NOVEMBER 22, 2018
investment and $917 million in private investment. Today, more than 8,000 people are employed in the valley—5,500 of them in jobs that the redevelopment created. More than 100 businesses are thriving in the valley and vicinity, and the last two lots in the Menomonee Valley Industrial Center were sold recently. Three hundred acres of brownfields have been remediated and repurposed for industrial and recreational use, including 24 acres in the innovative Three Bridges Park, a green necklace on the south side of the valley, which extends from 37th Street east to Mitchell Park. Michelle Kramer, director of marketing and business development at Menomonee Valley Partners, says that buyers of the city-owned parcels were required to use sustainable design guides and materials to create modern buildings that will survive into the future. She says attention was paid to attracting businesses that would employ enough people to create a certain workforce density. “We didn’t want warehouses to come in and employ two people and take up five acres of land. The idea is that anything we do down here, we ask: How does it impact the community, and how does it impact the economic picture?”
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How Green is Our Valley Walking west on the Hank Aaron Trail through Three Bridges Park in the Menomonee Valley, it seems almost possible at a point to step off the Hank Aaron Trail and walk right onto the roof of Miller Park. Once ensconced in Three Bridges Park—with views of Miller Park, the Menomonee River and Downtown Milwaukee—a visitor is uplifted both by the elevation and by the serenity of this park. Built on an abandoned railyard, the park was sculpted out of the fill that was dumped there when the Marquette Interchange was built. Eventually, the area was graded into rolling hills, which were made to resemble glacial landforms, such as kames, drumlins and eskers—the natural topography of Southeastern Wisconsin. In the past five years, the Urban Ecology Center has planted tens of thousands of native herbaceous plants and hundreds of native trees. Creatures abound, including beavers, bats, coyotes and deer, many species of dragonflies and damselflies, two species of snakes and multiple species of turtles, frogs and toads. People are now fishing and kayaking in the Menomonee River. “The best thing about that park has been watching it come to life,” says Glenna Holstein, branch manager of the Urban Ecology Center— Menomonee Valley. “Just over six years ago, there were literally zero people using the park, and there were very few native species present.” Today, there are more than 50,000 visits to the center and the park annually, and hundreds of native plant and animal species are thriving. “It provides a great opportunity for community engagement, education, and dialogue,” she says. The Urban Ecology Center is the custodian of Three Bridges Park. “If you create a park and don’t give people a really positive and exciting way to use it, it could fall into other forms of use that are not exactly assets for the community,” Holstein says. The redeveloped Menomonee Valley has an open, casual feel to it. New buildings in the Menomonee Valley Industrial Center are mostly big-box structures with a nice variety of façades. But, because of the 40 acres of green space in the 1,200-acre Menomonee Valley, the industrial park doesn’t seem like an ordinary industrial park, although it is built on brownfields from a previous industrial age.
More Work to be Done Despite a lot of redevelopment in this former industrial and transportation hub that once provided employment to 50,000 people who worked in tanneries, breweries, stockyards, machine fabrication and railroad shops, the valley is still rough around the edges. Large electrical transmission trusses loom along its northern border, and numerous train tracks and railyards remain. Yet, the architectural remnants from its industrial glory days give it character and stand as testaments to its history. “We want people to come to the valley and love the valley but not get the perception that it’s done,” Kramer says. “There is still all of this land that has so much potential to
SHEPHERD EXPRESS
bring hundreds of jobs to the city.” Forty acres of land remain to be redeveloped. The Menomonee River runs through it, and Canal Street snakes around it, connecting the valley from the Sixth Street Bridge on the east to Miller Park on the west. Unless there is a game at Miller Park, Canal Street seems lightly traveled, providing a secret passageway from Downtown Milwaukee to the commercial district along Miller Parkway in West Milwaukee. New plans are on the drawing board. Kramer says the Menomonee Valley Partners would like to see the Downtown Riverwalk extended to the valley. Because road access to the valley is limited, it would also like to see Mt. Vernon Avenue extended to Second Street Downtown. Currently, Mt. Vernon Avenue ends at the post office and serves as the roadway for bulk mail deposit. The Menomonee Valley Partners would also like to see a traffic ramp coming off the 16th Street Viaduct down to Canal Street, as well as better public transportation to accommodate the 8,000 people who work in the valley. Currently, there’s a Milwaukee County bus route present that only runs at shift times; workers sometimes have to climb the multi-story staircases to get onto the viaducts to reach alternative transportation.
Brisk Development in New Design District New retailers and businesses are relocating at a lively pace on St. Paul Avenue, where only a few empty lots and vacant buildings remain. A new Design District is in the process of forming. Bachman Furniture will soon be joining BBC Lighting, Brass Light Gallery, House of Stone, ProStar Surfaces, Riverview Antique Market and Guardian Fine Art Services, on West St. Paul Avenue. Meanwhile, Plum Media, a video production company, recently relocated to the street. Third Space Brewing opened in 2016, and City Lights Brewery opened in 2017 there as well. BrewCity CrossFit recently opened a fitness center at 1539 W. St. Paul Ave. Architectural firm Christopher Kidd & Associates (based in Menomonee Falls) will open a new studio at 15th and St. Paul Avenue in the third week of December. Owner Christopher Kidd says he chose the location because he hopes that it will attract new young talent based in Milwaukee. The new Bachman Furniture Store will open in January or February in the former American Radiator Company building at 1741 W. St. Paul Ave.—one of 22 buildings in the St. Paul Avenue Industrial Historic District that are listed on the National Register of Historic Places. Owner Joe Bachman chose the location after a four-year search for a new location; his company has been located at 60th and Capitol since 1958. “Nothing really excited me the way the location at 1741 W. St Paul did,” Bachman says. “I think the building is absolutely beautiful, with its 16-foot-high ceilings, front windows, timber beams and Cream City brick. There is so much character to this building. It stood out to me. We’ve always had
unique European furnishings,” he continues. “I wanted a location and real estate that accurately reflected that.” He says he is thrilled by the idea of being part of a Design District in the valley. “All major cities have them,” Bachman says. “Anybody doing any renovation is going to need lighting, countertops or hardwood floors.” He likes the easy access to the freeway and bought the parking lot across the street from his store. He adds Bachman Furniture will be partnering with BBC Lighting and will showcase BBC fixtures in its new 60,000-square-foot showroom. Bachman hopes that kitchen, bath, carpeting, flooring and tile stores will one day join the design constellation on St. Paul Avenue. “I think we’re on the brink of something great here on this once-quiet street,” he says.
New Art Exhibition Space Opens Next Month
Guardian Fine Art Services (1635 W. St. Paul Ave.) opened in 2017. The company provides state-of-the-art high-tech storage for artwork and other collectibles for private collectors and institutions. Owners John Shannon and his wife, artist Jan Serr, own about 3-4,000 works and needed to find storage space for their own collection. Prior to owning the building, they had to go to Chicago to store their collection. They chose the five-story building because it was made of brick and concrete and is fireproof. In December, The Warehouse, a new 4,000-square-foot exhibition space at Guardian Fine Art Services, will have a public opening. Part of the exhibition space will be devoted to displaying Shannon’s and Serr’s permanent collection on a rotating basis but also will host shows by local, national and international artists, says Laura Sims Peck, curator of The Warehouse. “We wanted to be off the beaten path a little,” she says. “This building is the right size, and it is built really nicely. If we spark more galleries to move onto the street, that would be wonderful. Milwaukee has a really strong arts community; any way that we can make sure that flourishes would be fantastic.” On Feb. 21-24, Wild Space Dance Company will perform at the gallery, and on Friday, March 8, On Belonging—a photographic collaboration between local artists Nirmal Raja and Lois Bielfeld—will open. The photographs explore the notion of belonging in the context of the Milwaukee community. The exhibition space will be open to the public by appointment. “What makes this space unique for Milwaukee is that it is not a sales gallery,” Peck says. “It is strictly an exhibition space for people to come together and really look at artwork in a smaller space than a largescale museum.” Peck says The Warehouse will host curators and scholars for learned discussion based on the works that are exhibited there.
Sobelman Welcomes New Businesses
With lots of new kids to welcome on the block,
Dave Sobelman, a valley pioneer and owner of Sobelmans Pub and Grill, remembers St. Paul Avenue as it was in 1999 when he opened his now-famous restaurant. Back then, his clientele included many homeless people who made a living distributing coupon magazines. He often cashed their checks. In ’99, St. Paul Avenue was well off the beaten path. New to the restaurant business, Sobelman wanted to expand his business and focused initially on finding the best burger patty and bun. In the early years, he bought his hamburger buns from Breadsmith Bakery on Silver Spring Drive in Whitefish Bay. He says that, when he was making his bun run to Silver Spring every morning, he gave out coupons good for free burgers. One day, he recalls, he gave a coupon to an attorney from Foley & Lardner who ended up coming in. The attorney brought his friends along, and they in turn brought their friends. Sobelman says a favorable 13-line review in the Shepherd Express also brought him new customers. “Around the same time, the lunch crowd started to bring in managers, owners and sales people from businesses in the valley,” he recalls. “At night, it was blue collar. Eventually, it became a place where people from all walks of life came,” he continues. “Who woulda thunk it? If I didn’t have good food, they wouldn’t have come. But, it was fun for people to wander off the beaten path into a place which could be perceived as a dangerous environment, which it’s not.” Sobelman continues to host overflow crowds at his St. Paul Avenue location and has also opened stores near Marquette University and in Mequon, Wis.
Wise Public Investment Earns Award and Reaps Rewards Public investment in the Menomonee Valley was substantial and has proved to be a good investment. In 2018, the multi-year redevelopment of the Menomonee Valley received the Chase Economic Development Award as part of Local Initiatives Support Corporation’s Milwaukee Awards for Neighborhood Development Innovation (MANDI). If the investment of public funds in the Menomonee Valley is compared to the recent Foxconn deal—in which Wisconsin promised the company $4.5 billion in taxpayer-funded subsidies, and Foxconn promised to bring 13,000 jobs to the state—the Menomonee Valley redevelopment project seems like a model of fiscal restraint. The New Yorker magazine recently reported an estimated taxpayer investment of $220,000 to $1 million per Foxconn job. In contrast, the public investment in the valley was less than $300 per newly created job. If successes similar to the Menomonee Valley redevelopment project are realized in the Harbor District and the 30th Street Industrial Corridor, Milwaukee could well see more environmental, economic and community improvement through the use of public and private investment in blighted industrial areas. Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n
NOVEMBER 22, 2018 | 5
NEWS&VIEWS::FEATURE
Lessons from the Historic Banning of DDT
Wisconsin citizens spurred the banning of the deadly pesticide 50 years ago ::BY VIRGINIA SMALL
F
ive decades ago, songbirds were dying by the dozens, eagles were vanishing, and humans were endangered by eating fish contaminated by the pesticide DDT. While many considered DDT a miracle chemical, others suspected it was a wanton destroyer. Then, a small band of well-organized Wisconsin activists, collaborating with far-flung scientists, put DDT on trial. That environmental battle had far-reaching impacts—and still-relevant lessons. Concerns about DDT (dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane) got a well-publicized hearing before Wisconsin’s Department of Natural Resources examiner. That’s because state law allowed citizens to request such a hearing—a byproduct of Wisconsin’s progressive tradition—and still does. Activists sought a determination about whether DDT was causing water pollution and harming fish, birds and humans. Testimony began on Dec. 2, 1968 and continued for six months. Hearing examiner Maurice Van Susteren finally ruled in May 1970 that DDT was indeed polluting state waters. By then, Michigan was the first state to ban DDT, and Wisconsin had followed suit. A federal ban went into effect in 1972. This was the first nationally publicized case argued by the nonprofit Environmental Defense Fund (EDF). Scientists from across the U.S. and beyond presented testimony. Joseph Hickey, a University of Wisconsin wildlife and ecology professor, was among scientists who risked their careers by opposing what they considered a grave ecological threat. The stakes were high.
6 | NOVEMBER 22, 2018
The ubiquitous pesticide was valued in agriculture and for treating Dutch elm disease, a scourge felling venerable trees nationwide. Wisconsin’s Department of Agriculture strongly advocated for DDT’s continued use. The hearing attracted widespread attention, in large measure due to the Madison-based Capital Times.
A Ringleader from Milwaukee County
Lorrie Otto of Bayside became the most vocal, visible and dedicated of Wisconsin’s DDT opponents. She had read Rachel Carson’s Silent Spring, the trailblazing 1962 bestseller warning that pesticides could be wreaking havoc with the intricate web of life. When Otto found dead songbirds, she saved that evidence in her freezer. Otto became a tenacious organizer and coalition builder. In his book, Banning DDT: How Citizen Activists in Wisconsin Led the Way, Bill Berry calls Otto “the heart and soul of the DDT battles in Wisconsin.” Another Milwaukeean, Frederick Ott, also played a crucial, though behind-the-scenes, role. The business leader and long-time conservationist raised funds to underwrite the hearing efforts, including expenses to host out-of-town experts. Also, Victor Yannacone, whom Berry calls a “brilliant and flamboyant attorney,” came to Wisconsin from New York to represent citizens. He told Berry that “Wisconsin was one of the few places where that hearing could have taken place…The political climate there was right for it.” Otto recalled being a shy homemaker when she began opposing DDT; she gradually became emboldened. She joined Citizens Natural Resources Association (CNRA) and began corresponding with scientists and poring over their research, some of which remained top secret to avoid jeopardizing the scientists’ careers. Mending the Earth in Milwaukee, a 2015 book about natural landscaping by Ney Tait Fraser, recounts Otto’s advocacy in her own words: “My concern about DDT started when it was sprayed for mosquitoes. Very rapidly, it escalated to spraying elm trees. People stood on the ground shooting hoses of DDT up in the air.” Soon, DDT was sprayed from helicopters, and “people were warned that they should cover birdbaths and put cars in the garage because of spray damaging the finish of cars and getting on windshields.” Otto told Fraser: “The robins did not sing. If you saw any robins at all, they would be in convulsions on the edge of lawns beating their wings against the grass…We had 63 eagles’ nests around Lake Michigan, then there were only three. Eagles were not able to produce young because eggshells were thin or missing completely. All the rivers, lakes
and waters in Wisconsin were tested, including Lake Michigan. DDT was present in every fish tested. One summer, there were reports of high concentrations of DDT in Lake Michigan’s chubs. Seagulls regurgitated food contaminated with DDT into their young offspring. Advisories were sent out to warn people against eating fish. Clearly, DDT was going up the food chain. Here, we were spraying trees to kill an insect, and we were killing birds and fish.” At Bayside village meetings, Otto requested that DDT spraying end. “The newspaper would report that ‘bird lovers’ were at the village meeting. When I showed them a basket of dead robins, officials said, “Waddayawant? Birds or trees? The agriculture people made you think that the entire economy would collapse if DDT was banned. All the cabbage leaves would turn to lace. We would destroy the canning industry. The tourist industry would collapse.” Otto and other citizens failed to get Wisconsin’s legislature to ban DDT spraying. So, she flew to New York to meet with scientists and an attorney who were going to court to try to stop DDT spraying against mosquitoes on Long Island. She asked them to come to Wisconsin, which they did. Then, she helped organize transportation, housing and food for the many visiting experts and drove to Madison each day the issue was heard. Before Otto died in 2010 at age 90, she was named to the Wisconsin Conservation Hall of Fame in Stevens Point—along with Joseph Hickey, Democratic Sen. Gaylord Nelson and several other DDT activists.
Takeaways for Today
Milwaukeean Whitney Gould, who covered the DDT hearings for the Capital Times, shared insights about the landmark case’s continuing relevance. “Environmental protection works,” she said. “The successful effort to ban DDT led directly to the return of the bald eagle, the peregrine falcon and the brown pelican—three species that had been pushed to the brink of extinction by reproductive failures caused by DDT [specifically, DDT disrupted the birds’ calcium-producing mechanism, leading to thin eggshells]. A more current example is the shrinking of the ominous hole in the ozone layer, thanks to the banning of chlorofluorocarbons.” Gould also cited the triumph of science. “Scientists who gathered in Wisconsin—wildlife ecologists, pharmacologists, chemists, biologists and others—showed how careful research can be integrated into a compelling narrative that leads to thoughtful, targeted public policy. There was plenty of spirited rhetoric, but no hysteria, no fearmongering, no ‘fake news.’” Lastly, Gould said that citizen activism pays off. “The activists who mobilized against DDT were a remarkable mix of bird lovers, university professors, politically savvy organizers and keenly observant ordinary people. With the help of some brilliant lawyers, they conceived the strategy that would eventually outlaw DDT as a water pollutant under Wisconsin statutes. Long before the days of social media and the Internet, they also got the word out to the broader environmental community and opened their homes to the scientists and lawyers who converged here. The well-funded agricultural chemical industry was outsmarted, out-organized and humbled.” Gould added, “If anything, the rise of the #MeToo movement, blogging and social media has made it easier to mobilize concerned citizens around fraught issues. When people despair about the state of the environment, they can think back to what happened with DDT.” Comment at shepherdexpress.com.
SHEPHERD EXPRESS
::SAVINGOURDEMOCRACY ( NOV. 22 - NOV. 28, 2018 ) The Shepherd Express serves as a clearinghouse for all activities in the greater Milwaukee area that peacefully push back against discriminatory, reactionary or authoritarian actions and policies of the Donald Trump administration, as well as others who seek to thwart social justice. We will publicize and promote actions, demonstrations, planning meetings, teach-ins, party-building meetings, drinkingdiscussion get-togethers and any other actions that are directed toward fighting back to preserve our liberal democratic system.
Saturday, Nov. 24 Peace Action Wisconsin: Stand for Peace @ the corner of Greenfield Avenue and Cesar Chavez Drive, noon-1 p.m. Every Saturday from noon-1 p.m., concerned citizens join with Peace Action Wisconsin to protest war and, literally, “Stand for Peace.” Signs will be provided for those who need them. Protesters are encouraged to stick around for conversation and coffee afterward.
Monday, Nov. 26 After #MeToo: What’s Next @ Marquette University Alumni Memorial Union Monaghan Ballroom (1442 W. Wisconsin Ave.), 3:30-5 p.m. Joanne Lipman, who was most recently the chief content officer of Gannett and editor-in-chief of USA Today, will give a keynote address based on her best-selling book, That’s What She Said: What Men Need to Know (and Women Need to Tell Them) About Working Together.
Home Sweet Home 53206: Baron Walker’s Journey @ EXPO headquarters (2821 N. Vel Phillips Ave.), 6:30-8 p.m. Baron and Beverly Walker’s story was highlighted in the 2016 documentary Milwaukee 53206. Baron had been in prison for two decades and had been eligible for parole for years. Beverly was advocating for his release while taking care of their family of five children. Now that Baron has been released from prison on parole, the Walkers, along with their attorney Craig Mastantuono, will discuss what it took to get him released and whether that process can be repeated for others.
Tuesday, Nov. 27 ‘Life After Life’ Screening @ George Bray Neighborhood YMCA (924 Center St., Racine), 6-8 p.m. The ACLU of Wisconsin will host a screening of Life After Life, which follows three men as they return home from San Quentin State Prison. After the screening, a panel of experts will discuss criminal justice reform in Wisconsin.
Veterans for Peace November Chapter Meeting @ Peace Action Wisconsin (1001 E. Keefe Ave.), 7-8:30 p.m. The Milwaukee chapter of Veterans for Peace will meet to discuss their goals, which include increasing awareness of the causes and costs of war and seeking justice for veterans and victims of war. All who want to further these goals are welcome. Non-veterans can participate as associate members.
Wednesday, Nov. 28 Police and Resident Listening Circle @ Journey House (2110 W. Scott St.), 6-8 p.m. There will be a free community meal before Frank Zeidler Center for Public Discussion facilitators help residents and police officers in the Muskego/Clarke Square neighborhoods speak with each other about establishing trust within the community. To submit to this column, please send a brief description of your action, including date and time, to savingourdemocracy@shepex.com. Together, we can fight to minimize the damage that Donald Trump and others of his kind have planned for our great country.
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All shows start at 8 pm unless otherwise indicated Tickets available at Shank Hall Box Office, 866-468-3401, or at ticketweb.com
Fri 11/23 and Sat 11/24
The R&B Cadets $20 Tues 11/27
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THE WORLD OVER
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Mon 11/26
Band of Friends
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Cedric Burnside $15
Thurs 11/29
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Reverend Horton Heat with Big Sandy, Junior Brown, The Blasters $50
Howard Levy 4 WITH CHRIS SIEBOLD, LARRY KOHUT, AND LUIZ EWERLING
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12/1 Koch Marshall Trio 12/2 Savoy Brown 12/5 Ike Reilly with Johnny Hickman 12/6 King’s X 12/7 Rich Trueman and the 22nd Street Horn Band 12/8 Southbound 12/9 Brand X 12/11 Samantha Fish NOVEMBER 22, 2018 | 7
NEWS&VIEWS::TAKINGLIBERTIES
Walker’s Horrendous Foxconn Deal Exposed ::BY JOEL MCNALLY
I
t probably didn’t seem that way at the time, but outgoing Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker may have been fortunate the election ending his political career took place when it did. Just a week later, a major national announcement revealed the horrendous $4 billion deal Walker negotiated with Taiwanese electronics company Foxconn was by far the most astronomical taxpayer giveaway in U.S. history producing the fewest jobs. If voters had received such glaring proof of political incompetence before the election, Walker’s narrow defeat could have been a massive landslide even if he escaped getting tarred, feathered and chased out of the state with pitchforks. The Tuesday after Election Day was when Amazon announced the grand prize winners of the largest economic development jackpot in American history: New York, Virginia and Tennessee would gain 55,000 high-paying Amazon jobs in exchange for more than $2.4 billion in state subsidies. It didn’t take long for Wiscon-
sin taxpayers to realize exactly what Amazon’s announcement meant for them. They’d been taken to the cleaners by Walker, Donald Trump and Terry Gou, Foxconn’s billionaire chairman. Walker’s deal with Foxconn provides $4 billion in state and local taxpayer subsidies in exchange for an actual guarantee of only 3,000 jobs paying an average of $53,000 a year in a Mount Pleasant electronics plant. Compare that to the enormous number of higher-paying jobs costing far less for the winners of the great Amazon lottery. Amazon split 50,000 headquarters jobs averaging $150,000 a year, with 25,000 going to New York (which bid $1.5 billion in direct state subsidies) and 25,000 to Virginia (bidding only $573 million in direct subsidies plus infrastructure, transportation and educational improvements). Nashville, Tenn., was a surprise last-minute addition, winning an Amazon operations center providing 5,000 new jobs in exchange for $102 million in state subsidies.
No Pay-Off For Tax Payers
Economic experts who track politicians frantically throwing enormous bundles of cash at multibillion-dollar corporations in exchange for jobs question whether such one-sided deals ever pay off for taxpayers. Wisconsin’s nonpartisan Legislative Fiscal Bureau estimated state taxpayers wouldn’t recoup their obscenely high cash payments to Foxconn for a quarter century. Economists thought New York’s $1.5 billion for 25,000 Amazon jobs already was a gross overpayment.
That puts Wisconsin’s $4 billion to Foxconn for fewer jobs than Nashville got for $102 million on another planet somewhere. “The Foxconn deal is one of the all-time historically bad tax giveaways by any state,” said Jeffrey Dorfman, an economics professor at the University of Georgia, “whereas the Amazon deals look more like an average bad tax giveaway to a big business.” Walker outrageously exaggerated the jobs from Foxconn from the day in July 2017 he joined Trump in the White House for the honor of being selected to pay company chairman Gou billions of dollars to manufacture electronic LCD screens in Wisconsin. The three celebrants (Walker, Trump and Gou) all had a history of promising unbelievable jobs numbers that failed to materialize. Walker rhetorically added 10,000 to the 3,000 jobs Foxconn was actually required to provide by contract. Trump and Gou backed up that dubious claim with vague references to one day possibly providing “up to 13,000 jobs.” Or possibly not. Many state taxpayers immediately were concerned they might actually be subsidizing jobs for residents of Illinois with the border only 20 miles away. Despite the billions in state tax dollars going to Foxconn, Walker’s agreement didn’t require preferential hiring for Wisconsin residents. Then, on Election Day, The Wall Street Journal broke the story Foxconn would import engineers from China for many of the most highly paid jobs, because it couldn’t find enough qualified engineers in Wisconsin. It had, in fact,
been an open secret in the tech industry for some time that Chinese engineers would be required to run the first plant to mass produce LCD panels in the U.S.
Invasion of the Foxbots
The far more serious concern after Foxconn milks Wisconsin taxpayers for as many billions as it can under Walker’s contract is how many actual living and breathing human beings from any state or nation will ever be needed in the plant. Chairman Gou has told his investors he plans to replace 80% of his company’s global workforce with “Foxbots” within 10 years. (That’s Foxconn’s term for the advanced robotics technology it has been developing to replace human workers.) In early 2017, Foxconn began laying off employees at its iPhone factories in China, replacing 60,000 workers—more than half the workforce in one plant—with robotic technology. That might even be considered an act of human kindness; Chinese workers complain of harsh working conditions, standing for long hours on swelling legs seven days a week. Protests have included mass suicides. Foxconn obviously was attracted to Wisconsin’s anti-worker political environment under Walker, but clearly the deciding factor was the terrible contract Wisconsin negotiated. Walker’s going at last but recovering from his $4 billion taxpayer giveaway could take decades. Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n
NEWS&VIEWS::POLL
You Say Republican Leaders’ Threats Would Further Divide Wisconsin Last week, we asked if Wisconsin Republican leaders Robin Vos and Scott Fitzgerald’s threatened effort to strip authority from the governor’s office before Tony Evers has even been sworn in would further divide Wisconsin. You said: n Yes: 92% n No: 8%
What Do You Say? Considering that the public showed more than 80% support for medical marijuana in referenda held throughout Wisconsin, should Governor-elect Tony Evers propose legalizing medical marijuana in his inaugural budget? n Yes n No Vote online at shepherdexpress.com. We’ll publish the results of this poll in next week’s issue.
8 | NOVEMBER 22, 2018
SHEPHERD EXPRESS
NEWS&VIEWS::ISSUEOFTHEWEEK
The Moment to Take on High Health Costs is Now ::BY KEVIN KANE
Y
ou’re paying more than our neighbors in Minnesota for health insurance, but a solution is so close at hand. Years of grassroots organizing by many groups, including ours—Citizen Action of Wisconsin,–have helped to build health care into the dominant issue in the 2018 elections. We didn’t do it alone. Every time insulin prices were raised, insurance refused to cover treatment, or deductibles rose higher, it reminded Wisconsinites that drastic action is needed. And now the election results have created a mandate for Governor-elect Tony Evers to pursue powerful fundamental reforms such as Medicaid expansion, a BadgerCare public option, long term care reform and meaningful action on pharmaceutical prices. Which is none too soon.
SHEPHERD EXPRESS
An analysis done by Citizen Action and the Wisconsin Federation of Nurses and Health Professionals shows that Governor Scott Walker’s refusal to build on the Affordable Care Act is forcing many Wisconsinites to pay thousands more for health insurance. Wisconsinites on the individual market will face premiums and deductibles 50% higher on average than the standard Minnesotan. This means an average 40-year-old is paying $3,781 more per year for the same coverage. That’s unacceptable. However, there is good news. The data in our report shows that a BadgerCare “Public Option” could not only address this injustice, it could immediately save people thousands of dollars per year and be available in all 72 counties. The idea: give Wisconsinites the option of purchasing BadgerCare on the Affordable Care Act marketplace or for their small business at cost. Wisconsinites who buy insurance on their own would pay premiums and deductibles on average 32.5% less for the BadgerCare public option. That’s $3,685 less on average for better coverage. Enacting a BadgerCare public option would have an even more dramatic impact for a family of four in Milwaukee, saving more than $23,000 in premiums and deductibles over a private “Silver” health plan! Governor-elect Evers has voiced his support for a BadgerCare public option, but thanks to our gerrymandered, hostile state legislature, the prospects for it are not immediate. But a new governor (and lieutenant governor) are not the only things our state’s residents told us; they say we need fundamental changes to the health system. Now. As exit polling made clear, health care was the top issue (by a 26% margin over the second issue), and it showed
that a large majority of Wisconsin voters (67%) want “major changes” in the health care system. This is well beyond simple repudiation of Walker. This broken health system manifests itself in different ways, but ones that should all be familiar. A major reason for cash-strapped school districts? High health prices. The reason people with disabilities are facing a shortage of personal care workers? Wages that aren’t keeping up with health costs, and BadgerCare can suddenly kick workers off of their health care coverage during months in which they log a few too many hours. Why are people skipping medications or cutting them in half to make them last longer? Because Big Pharma raises prices, and no one is standing up to them. Why are so many Wisconsinites scared to open a hospital bill? Because you could be suddenly declared “outof-network” with no notice and little recourse. All these things are fixable. There’s no good reason Wisconsin is one of the most expensive states in the nation for health services or why our coverage costs thousands more than our neighbor Minnesota. Other states take action, and the only thing stopping us from being a national leader in affordable health care is the moral, bipartisan, uncompromising commitment to tackling unacceptable health care costs that our fellow Wisconsinites tell us they want. Kevin Kane has worked for many years in health insurance and for health policy reform, he currently directs Citizen Action of Wisconsin’s Organizing Co-op Incubator to help everyday citizens make change in fundamental ways where they live. Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n
NOVEMBER 22, 2018 | 9
::DININGOUT
For more Dining, log onto shepherdexpress.com
DAVE ZYLSTRA
FEATURE | SHORT ORDER | EAT/DRINK
Shrimp and Grits & Fried Green Tomatoes from Maxie’s
dipping. Once you get to your table, a basket of cornbread and orange honey butter is complimentary. It’s sweet and cakey, unlike Southern-style cornbread, but it’s absolutely fantastic. No Cajun restaurant is complete without gumbo, and this version is called “Maxie’s Mighty-Mighty Gumbo” with chicken, andouille and crawfish. It’s rich, dark, topped with rice and comes in three sizes: a cup ($5.95), bowl ($8.95) or a jumbo dinner portion served with coleslaw ($13.95). Jambalaya (called “Jambalaya MeOh-My-A” here) is also a must ($18.95). This is a thick, somewhat dry version with shrimp, andouille and chicken, but it’s topped with a splash of extra tomato-heavy ::BY LACEY MUSZYNSKI sauce. The vegetarian version ($15.50) is actually somewhat better, with its unique combination of chewy smoked tofu, spinach, red beans and crunchy pecans. n the 11 years that Maxie’s has been around, other Cajun restauShrimp and grits ($18.95) is a perennial favorite and made with a buttery, spicy rants have come and gone, but Maxie’s has kept chugging along. sauce, with tasso ham over creamy yellow grits. Frogmore stew ($19.50) is an upOver the years, their focus has changed slightly, but their consisscale version of a Lowcountry classic, with a variety of seafood, andouille, corn and tency in quality and creative food has not wavered since the day chef onions in a light broth with French bread for dipping. A crab cake platter ($21.50) Joe Muench opened it in 2007. has been a favorite of mine for years. The cakes are well-browned and topped with Though billed as a Southern restaurant (in fact, the name used to be a dollop of remoulade and served with red beans and rice, sweet potato fries and Maxie’s Southern Comfort before shortening it due to threatened litigation by coleslaw. Everything on the plate goes together like Thanksgiving turkey and sides. a certain liquor company), Maxie’s has always been most commonly known The regional barbecue section of the menu is front and center now, with St. Louis as a Cajun restaurant. In recent years, as Southern cooking has become more spare ribs ($19.95-$27.95) and Memphis baby back ribs ($22.50-$29.95) served with popular in Wisconsin, there’s been more of an emphasis on Carolina Lowcoun- abundant sides and sauce. North Carolina-style pulled pork is the best bet for bartry cuisine and barbecue on the menu. becue purists who eschew sauces. Get it as a sandwich or a plate ($12.95-$15.95) That shift appears to have gone over well with diners, because Maxie’s is served with barbecue beans and coleslaw. just as busy as it’s always been. Reservations are not taken during weekends Nightly specials are abundant, both in the form of regular deals and one-off (unless you’re a party of seven or more), and the reservations taken during dishes written on the chalkboard. Sundays are family night, the week are limited. That means there’s usually a wait, for instance, with an ultra-crunchy fried chicken dinner and $2 but the festive atmosphere, especially at the bars kids meals (you can get the chicken dinner on Tuesdays, too). (there’s a bar upstairs, too!), makes this one of the Maxie’s Items like meatloaf, fried, soft-shell crabs and etouffee often few places where a wait can actually be enjoyable. appear on the chalkboard. 6732 W. Fairview Ave. While you’re at the bar, take the opportunity to It’ll be difficult but save room for dessert from pastry chef 414-292-3969 try some freshly shucked oysters (the price varies, but they’re Sarah D’Amato. The chocolate coconut banana cream pie is maxies.com/milwaukee generally around $3 each or $1 during happy hour) or chilled jammed with bananas and thick ganache under a layer of cool $$-$$$ peel-N-eat shrimp ($8.95-$14.50). Chicken wings ($12.50) are custard. I’ve never had a bad dessert here, from bread pudding Mon-Sat 4 p.m.-10 p.m. huge, smoked, bathed in a sweet and spicy sauce and served to key lime pie, and each dessert comes with a fish-shaped Sun 4 p.m.-9 p.m. with celery and creamy buttermilk blue cheese dip. Fried cookie decoration modeled after the restaurant’s logo. NothHandicapped Access: Yes green tomatoes ($8.95) and fried crawfish tails known as Cajun ing, not even garnishes, is overlooked here. That’s why Maxie’s popcorn ($11.50) are both served with a tangy remoulade for CC, FB, RS has real staying power.
Southern Menu Has Staying Power at Maxie’s
10 | N O V E M B E R 2 2 , 2 0 1 8
SHEPHERD EXPRESS
Vote for Chris Muellenbach For Best Real Estate
::SHORTORDER
SOULFUL WAFFLES at FAST BREAK CAFE
Southeast Wisconsin FreeThinkers Milwaukee’s Oldest & Largest Organization Of Atheists And Agnostics
::BY JAMIE LEE RAKE
The owner of Fast Break Cafe (551 W. Becher St.; 414-935-2335) loves basketball, and his menu shows it, with “Skybox” entrees of chicken, steak and salmon, “Alley-Oop” sides and appetizers and “3-Point” tacos and nachos. The bistro’s strongest play, however, may be the breakfast menu (served Monday-Saturday from 9 a.m. to 11 a.m.), with its red velvet waffles and chicken. Well-salted, palm-sized, white meat tenders or wings share a plate with one large, Belgian grilled pastry that’s quartered and dusted with powdered sugar. A couple of strawberries, resting in puffs of whipped cream, garnish what is already a wide palette of flavors. Fast Break Cafe offers a full-court press of other ways to start the day with soul food favorites, including shrimp and grits, biscuits and gravy and salmon croquettes (the latter not available every weekend, alas). Among items served later in the day are a pineapple bowl, featuring teriyaki-marinated chunks of chicken sharing a freshly cut pineapple with white rice and diced pieces of tropical fruit.
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NEWS FLASH World Fish Fry Alert! Sources pinpoint the best Fish Fry in the universe is in Milwaukee on 84th & Lisbon Ave. All day, seven days a week. Experts say give it a try!! So many fish, only one mouth! Eat fish, not batter!
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84th and Lisbon 414-871-3977 www.thethistleandshamrock.com N O V E M B E R 2 2 , 2 0 1 8 | 11
DININGOUT::EATDRINK JEAN-GABRIEL FERNANDEZ
HAVE IT
HERE Transfer Pizzeria Cafe's new event room is the perfect, casual setting for gatherings up to 75 / seating up to 55.
TransferMKE.com/parties (414) 763 - 0438
BIRTHDAYS & CELEBRATIONS REHEARSAL DINNERS HOLIDAY GATHERINGS BUSINESS LUNCHES FUNDRAISERS OFFICE PARTIES
Waffle from Café Hollander
Café Hollander Features New Brunch Menu ::BY SHEILA JULSON
B Located in the Country Inn & Suites • 350 E Seven Hills Rd • Port Washington (414) 803-5177 • www.lepantobanquet.com 12 | N O V E M B E R 2 2 , 2 0 1 8
runch, that fun mash-up of breakfast and lunch that also justifies drinking before noon, is typically only available on weekends. However, the Lowlands Group has launched a new brunch menu that will be served seven days a week at all five Café Hollander locations. “If there’s one thing we’ve heard repeatedly from our guests over the years, it’s that they want to enjoy many of our brunch items on weekdays, too,” said Dan Herwig, director of brands and marketing for Lowlands Group. Chef Thomas Hauck, who joined the Lowlands Group as culinary director this past May, has crafted more than 25 new items inspired by trips to Belgium and the Netherlands. There, he researched traditional Dutch cuisine including pannenkoeken, a large,
crepe-like pancake, which is now featured on the brunch menu. “Milwaukee loves brunch, so this was a really fun labor of love that I hope people enjoy as much as I did creating it with all of the chefs here at Lowlands,” said Hauck. “We’ve added some more traditional European-influenced dishes, as well as some decadent, stick-to-theribs-type dishes that are welcome after maybe a bit too much celebration the evening before.” Favorites such as the Liège waffles, made with a yeast dough and pearl sugar, will stay on the menu and will be joined by new items like wafflebrowns, a crispy hash brown that is cooked in a waffle iron and stuffed with shallots and white cheddar cheese. The new menu also has a variety of breakfast bowls, a new benedicts section and several new brunch entrees. There are also new breakfast sandwiches, fresh juices and smoothies. The new brunch menu incorporates locally sourced ingredients such as Wisconsin cheeses, maple syrup, honey, eggs from Yuppie Hill Poultry of Burlington, Wis., and Sassy Cow Creamery dairy products. Lowlands Group also partnered with Colectivo Coffee to create a new coffee blend exclusively for their cafés. The blend, comprised of Ethiopian Natural and Brazilian beans, has a hint of fruity blueberry notes. To encourage people to sample the new coffee roast and try the updated brunch menu, Café Hollander will offer free coffee with any weekday brunch entree during November. Brunch is served at all five Café Hollander locations weekdays from 8–11 a.m. and weekends from 8 a.m.–3 p.m. For more information, visit lowlandsgroup.com/brunch-every-day. SHEPHERD EXPRESS
DAVE ZYLSTRA
::FEATURE
SMALL BUSINESS SATURDAY SUPPORTS MILWAUKEE
TEQUILA, TACOS & TACKY SWEATERS Merriment Social Tuesday, December 11 5:30-9pm • $25 shepherdtickets.com THIS IS A 21+ EVENT.
Holiday shopping keeps jobs, revenue in our city ::BY DAVID LUHRSSEN
W
E’RE PRESSED FOR TIME. We’re overwhelmed. And then: The holiday gift-buying frenzy adds another layer of stress. Sure, it’s easy to search online and buy gifts with a click, but why not take the time to support the businesses that support our local economy? That’s the mission of Dan Nowak, owner of Tall Guy and a Grill Catering (6735 W. Lincoln Ave.) and president of Local First Milwaukee. One way of getting that message to the public is through the annual Small Business Saturday, happening this year on Nov. 24. Small Business Saturday started nationwide in 2010 “as a promotional event spearheaded by American Express credit cards to help drive awareness to the public of why shopping at local, independent businesses matters,” Nowak recalls. It’s essentially a “Black Friday” for people who care about their hometown. The philosophy is “to drive awareness of all these amazing companies we have here in Milwaukee. We know that, as Milwaukee grows, it is important to celebrate the businesses that make Milwaukee unique,” Nowak says. “Independent businesses form the fabric of a diverse local economy, making Milwaukee a fun community you want to live and work in. By shopping locally, our community can continue to help grow Milwaukee small businesses, so they can create more jobs and more money for the local economy.” For more information, visit Local First Milwaukee’s Facebook page.
SHEPHERD EXPRESS
N O V E M B E R 2 2 , 2 0 1 8 | 13
Holiday Gift Pages Browse pages 14 - 18 for holiday gifts that will make the season bright! To advertise on these pages, please contact your Account Executive or contact Jackie at 414.292.3814 or jackie@shepex.com.
AMERICAN SCIENCE & SURPLUS Don’t stick just anything in their stockings…shop with geeks, treasure hunters, artists and mad scientists for the most incredible stuff in Milwaukee! From robotic lizards and wooden catapult kits to beaker mugs and ludicrously-bright flashlights, American Science & Surplus has thousands of unique items to educate, entertain and most certainly give you a reason to giggle.
Historic Brady Street lies a brightly colored, delightfully warm and homey cafe. Brewed serves up all-day breakfast, sandwiches and weekly homemade soup specials in a cozy space. You are invited to sit, relax and enjoy a cup of their excellent coffee or mull their eclectic art over a glass of wine or beer.
a tree lighting ceremony, live reindeer, and so much more. And don’t forget to stop and visit the big guy himself—Santa! On Friday, November 30 (5:30-8:00pm) a festive month of holiday fun and shopping is kicked off in the Historic Third Ward.
BUDDY SQUIRREL
Fischberger’s Variety, a one-of-a-kind gift shop masquerading as an old-time variety store, aims to have the finest and freshest build-your-own $20 gifts for all ages. You’ll find unique, thoughtful gifts including a large selection of books, quality toys, home goods, yarn and fun, cool stuff guaranteed!
Art*Bar’s 12th annual “mini” show is the biggest and best tiny art show of its kind. Tiny art @ tiny prices: Everything is smaller than 8” x 8” and sells for less than $100! More than 150 local artists and more than 1,800 pieces of art. The show is reloaded with new art every day from now until Christmas; show ends Sunday, December 30.
Buddy Squirrel combines the best of both worlds when it comes to satisfying your sweet tooth or craving for salt. Whether you’re looking for confections, nuts or gourmet popcorns, Buddy Squirrel offers a wide selection of award-winning specialties at three, convenient retail locations. Treat yourself or that special someone to delicious indulgences that are handmade using traditional recipes to make the perfect gift, holiday treat or party favor!
BAY VIEW PRINTING COMPANY
CASCIO MUSIC
ART BAR
A community-focused design and letterpress print shop, their days are spent crafting one-of-a-kind impressions on paper and, by night, opening up type drawers and teaching you how to do the same. Treat your peeps to a Drink&Ink gift card this season, and you’ll be gifting an amazing night of drinks and poster printing at their weirdly awesome, 100-yearold letterpress print shop—an experience they’ll never forget!
Join this 72-year-old musical instrument retailer in celebrating Small Business Saturday! You will find endless savings with special sales starting on Black Friday that carry over right into Saturday with even more doorbusters. Their experienced music team looks forward to serving everyone from the budding musician to the seasoned rock star and everyone in between!
BREW CITY BRANDS
CBD Therapeutics of WI is a local, family business of Organic CBD products in Southeastern WI. All products are made from organic fair-trade ingredients, contain 99% pure CBD isolate and are THC free. Come celebrate their first Small Business Saturday! There will be door prizes, giveaways with super-cool, free tote bags, CBD infused refreshments, and a SALE! CBD Therapeutics HOLIDAZE Gift Bags will be loaded with products at a steep discount that’s perfect for gifting.
Established in 1986, Brew City Brand is a family-owned, Milwaukee-based clothing company that designs and prints incredibly local products—it celebrates everything that makes Milwaukee iconic. You’ll find the perfect gift for that special someone (or for yourself!) to show off that unique Milwaukee pride—think t-shirts, glassware, can coozies, sweatshirts, socks and even beer-scented candles. Brew City has three retail locations at the Milwaukee Public Market, General Mitchell Field Airport and Southridge Mall or online at www.brewcityonline.com.
BREWED CAFÉ In the bottom of a house on the East Side’s 14 | N OV E M B E R 2 2 , 2 0 1 8
CBD THERAPEUTICS OF WI
CHRISTMAS IN THE WARD Celebrate the 30th Anniversary of this old-fashioned Milwaukee favorite! It doesn’t get more “holiday” than fireworks,
FISCHBERGER’S VARIETY
GREAT NORTHERN DISTILLING Is one of your favorite gifts to give or receive a bottle liquor? If so, Great Northern Distilling has what you need. Distilled in Plover, WI, they embrace the ingredients grown in the fields around them. Visit their distillery to see the process in action and stay for a tour and tasting-it’s just a quick road trip away! Pick up a bottle for a gift and don’t forget one for yourself; after all, it is the holidays.
JEWELERS GUILD Besides the typical jewelry store amenities, the Jewelers Guild offers beautiful retail jewelry showcasing 100% handcrafted works by talented jewelers that are ready to go home with you. However, their specialty is custom pieces designed just for you! Stop in for their Make & Take Ornament event during their Small Business Saturday Open House—open to all ages and skill levels!
KILWINS Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate. Just about everyone loves chocolate, especially at the holidays, and Kilwins selection is made from the finest ingredients on earth. You’ll melt their hearts as it melts in their mouths. Don’t forget their luscious caramels, creamy ice cream or fudge. You can even take a class!
SCHWANKE-KASTEN JEWELERS Great things come in small packages at Schwanke-Kasten Jewelers. Since 1899,
they have offered beautiful engagement rings, jewelry and timepieces. Their longstanding reputation of outstanding customer service, with onsite gemologists, goldsmith and watchmaker has made them one of the most trusted and respected jewelers in the Milwaukee area. This holiday season, shop local at Schwanke-Kasten!
SPARROW COLLECTIVE A brick-and-mortar boutique and gift shop featuring contemporary clothing and artisan goods. Their local gallery sells handcrafted items such as printed tees, jewelry, accessories, bath and home goods, candles, gifts and so much more. Featuring monthly metalsmithing, jewelry, calligraphy and fiber classes in their Milwaukee shop. Stop in and check out their specials on Small Business Saturday!
SMALL BUSINESS SATURDAY IN THE WARD Make the Historic Third Ward your destination for one-stop holiday shopping on Saturday, November 24. Stroll the streets and wander into any of the charming, locally-owned stores to find that perfect, unique gift and then celebrate a good day of shopping at one of the eateries you come across. #shopsmallwithus
URSA Come visit URSA and enjoy a unique shopping experience in their relaxing, sun-filled boutique. You’ll find a unique collection of gifts and goods to make your home look and feel it’s best. You’ll also find women’s & men’s apparel, jewelry, apothecary goods, houseplants and a wide selection of space cleansing incense, smudge sticks and candles. Shop with them on KK in Bay View. Free parking available in their lot.
THE WAXWING Find a unique, one-of-a-kind, handmade gift for nearly every occasion at The Waxwing, a Milwaukee boutique giftshop that features the work of more than 350 local and national makers! You’ll find this treasure located on Milwaukee’s East Side at the corner of North and Oakland avenues. SHEPHERD EXPRESS
Custom-Built Bicycles - Made in the USA Curated Selection of Cycling Goods Floyd’s of Leadville CBD - Relax and Recover! Gift Certificates Available 826 E LOCUST ST | MKE WI 53212 | 414-585-0366 Open Wed through Fri 11am, Sat 9am Shop Online 24/7 at everydaycycles.com
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N O V E M B E R 2 2 , 2 0 1 8 | 15
“ABSOLUTELY STUNNING” VA R I E T Y
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Small Business Saturday November 24 Extended hours from 8am to 8pm Swag Bags for the first 100 people in the door 18 0 0 E . N o r t h Av e . w w w.t he w a x w i n g . c om L oca l ly ow n ed r eta i l ga l l ery r epr e se n t i ng t h e w o r k o f o v e r 3 0 0 a r t i s t s o n M i l wa u k e e ’ s E a s t S i d e . 16 | N OV E M B E R 2 2 , 2 0 1 8
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::A&E
Brought to you by The Milwaukee Art Museum
FEATURE | FILM | THEATRE | ART | BOOKS | CLASSICAL MUSIC | DANCE
TURNING UP THE HEAT:
QUASIMONDO PHYSICAL THEATRE BRINGS NEW LIFE TO NORTH MILWAUKEE
::BY PARKER THOMPSON
his fall, I was offered the opportunity to work as the editorial intern at the Shepherd Express. While I considered my main expertise to be in arts and entertainment, I hadn’t thought about the various forms it takes. I’m a music snob, so when I was handed a list of theater articles and reviews, I felt out of my element. My trips around Milwaukee have brought me to many extraordinary buildings, but nothing had compared to the feeling I had when I walked into the site of the North Milwaukee Arthaus. As I opened the front door, I was met with a grand front staircase in the midst of an eerily dark atmosphere. “Hello?” a voice called out in the distant shadows. Soon, a figure had stepped to the top of the stairs. Brian Rott—producing artistic director for Quasimondo Physical Theatre, bundled in a knit cap, scarf and gloves—stepped forward to greet me. The Arthaus, a formerly foreclosed fire house, has been under a full-scale remodel since its purchase back in April. “I hope you have plenty of layers on,” Rott warned, as I watched his breath trail from his mouth. “We are working with a bunch of space heaters at the moment.” Upon walking into their rehearsal room, I was greeted by Don Russell, chair of Cooperative Performance’s board of directors and collaborator with Rott on their year-end premiere of Celsius 232, an interpretation of the Ray Bradbury novel Fahrenheit 451. The performance follows Guy Montag, a public servant in a post-truth dystopia who works to “protect” society from books and the actuality they provide. Through a chain of events, Montag begins to see through the guise that the government has propagated. Celsius 232 may distract you with a cast full of clowns in firefighter gear, but its purpose is to serve as a spotlight on the sensitive topic of truth, which has become subjective. “We want to continue the discussion of credibility, and hopefully open some people up to the tactics those in power use to manipulate the information we
20 | N O V E M B E R 2 2 , 2 0 1 8
Rise of the Arthaus
But, what about the exposed original brick and plasticcovered wall joints? Rott explained that, while there is still plenty of work to be done restoring the Arthaus, it will be functional for Celsius 232’s opening night on Friday, Nov. 30. After our interview, Rott took me on a tour of the building while Russell got their performers ready for a rehearsal. Walking through the stripped rooms reminded me of my grandparents’ house. The cracked plaster that see,” Russell said. “Dark humor has a unique way hid the original brickwork gave light to character the of representing controversial topics without a building held. In one of the office spaces, Rott pointed lingering sense of uneasiness.” upwards to a hole in the ceiling. “This is the opening to the This play comes at a pivotal point in our original bell tower,” Rott said, “and if this rope still works… country. Amongst various attempts by governyep, the bell still rings!” The echo of the bell within the ment employees to change the truth, the most shell of the Arthaus gave it an unexpected warmth. recent came a day after the midterm elections. The seating is already in place on the first floor, but During a press conference with the building itself will function as much Donald Trump, CNN reporter Jim more than a theater space. The second Acosta was ridiculed by the POTUS, floor will house offices for Quasimondo, and a White House intern tried to Quasimondo two rehearsal spaces, as well as classseize his microphone from him. In Physical rooms for theater enthusiasts in the sura video posted by press secretary Theatre & rounding community looking to learn. Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ Twitter “We had looked at over 50 properties in Cooperative account, Acosta looks to be forcethe area before settling on this space, befully batting the associate’s hand Performance cause there was a lack of arts outlets in away. But, after slowing down Celsius 232 the community,” Rott said. “I think there the footage, it was confirmed by North Milwaukee are eight schools in the area, with not a experts that the video had been single location to serve those interested.” edited by removing a sequence Arthaus Rott and Russell hope that, with Quasiof frames to make Acosta’s arm Nov. 30 - Dec. 15 mondo opening up its doors, more busimovement look more abrupt. nesses will follow suit and help revitalize “It is situations like this where people need to take a step back this section of North Milwaukee. The and reconsider the news they view every day,” North Milwaukee Arthaus currently sits next to an empty Rott said. “Just like Montag, I think we are slowly lot and across from two unnamed production buildings. starting to uncover more truth and become “We need to preserve as much heat as we can until we get more vigilant in our viewing habits.” Rott and a permanent system put in,” Rott said. “But hopefully come Russell are not trying to attack any one group springtime we can open up one of these fire house doors specifically; they reiterated that there are probto invite more people in.” lems to be uncovered in all areas of society, and Celsius 232 runs Nov. 30-Dec. 15 at the North Milwaukee that people from any background are encourArthaus, 5151 N. 35th Street. For tickets, visit cooperativeperaged to attend the show. formance.org or quasimondo.org.
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::THISWEEKINMILWAUKEE
Guerilla Ghost
FRIDAY, NOV. 23 Guerilla Ghost @ Cactus Club, 9 p.m.
Yo Gotti
FRIDAY, NOV. 23 Yo Gotti w/ Moneybagg Yo and Jeezy @ Miller High Life Theatre, 8 p.m.
Generations collide on this rap tour. Two titans of their respective cities, Memphis’Yo Gotti and Atlanta’s Jeezy (he dropped the “Young” years ago) are joined by one of rap’s rising stars, Moneybagg Yo. After a long run of electric mixtapes and collaborations with rappers like Lil Baby and Gunna, Moneybagg Yo released his debut studio album, Reset, earlier this month. Yo Gotti and Jeezy, meanwhile, should have plenty of new material to perform; both rappers released solid new albums last year.
Bad Bunny @ The Rave, 8 p.m.
Since 2016, Puerto Rican reggaeton star Bad Bunny has been a fixture of the Latin music charts, but 2018 was the year that he announced himself as a Top-40 force to be reckoned with. His upbeat collaboration with Cardi B and J Balvin, “I Like It,” peaked at number one on the Billboard charts, and last month, he released a new party single, “Mia,” that would almost certainly have become a hit even without its slam-dunk feature from Drake. The single is currently charting all over the globe. The 24-year-old Bad Bunny hasn’t even released an album yet, but when he does, it’s all but guaranteed to be a smash.
Har Mar Superstar and Sabrina Ellis Do The Songs of Dirty Dancing w/ CLOSENESS @ The Cooperage, 8 p.m.
As his stagey alter ego Har Mar Superstar, Sean Tillmann pays homage to sensual R&B in the most over-the-top fashion imaginable. In recent years, though, Har Mar’s act has seemed a lot less tongue-in-cheek. Earlier this year, he sold out the Back Room at Colectivo with a revue celebrating the music of Sam Cooke, and now he’s returning to Milwaukee with this latest tribute. Joined by Sabrina Ellis (of the projects A Giant Dog and Sweet Spirit), he’ll be performing songs like “Hungry Eyes” and “Be My Baby” from the iconic 1987 soundtrack to Dirty Dancing, as well as new material from Heart Bones, his duo with Ellis. Also on the bill is CLOSENESS, the wife-husband duo of indie-rock veterans Orenda Fink of Azure Ray and Todd Fink of The Faint. Last year, they released an EP of rich, psychedelic electro-rock called Personality Therapy.
The R&B Cadets @ Shank Hall, 8 p.m.
Few bands cast a bigger shadow over the Milwaukee music scene than The R&B Cadets. Though their initial run only lasted for a few years in the early ’80s, the group served as a launching pad for some of the city’s most prominent musicians, including John Sieger (who went on to form Semi-Twang), singer Robin Pluer and Paul Cebar of the Milwaukeeans and Tomorrow Sound fame. For the last several years, the group has reunited for Thanksgiving weekend shows at Shank Hall, reprising the festive soul and rock music that made them such an enormous live draw nearly four decades ago. (Also Saturday, Nov. 24.) 22 | N O V E M B E R 2 2 , 2 0 1 8
In the spirit of classic Definitive Jux releases, the Milwaukee industrial-rap duo Guerilla Ghost plays nervy, political hip-hop that’s completely unbeholden to genre conventions. On their new album, Perpetually Sad Motion Machine, the duo dials up the anger, assailing fascism, a broken health care system, patriarchy and rape culture (the latter on a furious track featuring Lindsay DeGroot of the Milwaukee punk group Fox Face). The record also features appearances from Lorde Fredd33 and Carnage the Executioner. For this Black Friday release show (we’re guessing the timing is a coincidence, given the band’s anti-consumerist leanings), Guerilla Ghost will be supported by Devils Teeth, Taiyamo Denku, Taj Raiden, Nicholas Elert and the Dope Folks DJs.
SATURDAY, NOV. 24
Jake “The Snake” Roberts @ Club Garibaldi, 7 p.m.
Outside of perhaps Hulk Hogan and The Undertaker, few ’80s wrestlers embodied the cartoonish, action-figure aesthetic of WWF wrestling’s heyday like Jake “The Snake” Roberts. Like too many of his costars, the cult wrestler fell on hard times in the late ’90s, battling health problems and struggling with addiction, but at this appearance, he’ll focus on some of the lighter tales from his years in the ring. As part of his “Dirty Details Tour,” he promises a night of uncensored stories and comedy that proves the WWF was every bit as ridiculous behind the scenes as you imagined it was.
TUESDAY, NOV. 27 Otep w/ The World Over @ Shank Hall, 8 p.m.
The Los Angeles alternative metal group Otep received an early career boost thanks to the support of Jack and Sharon Osbourne, who featured them on their influential Ozzfest tour after discovering them as an unsigned band in the early ’00s, but it was singer Otep Shamaya’s fierce vocals that have helped them retain such a wide a following. In the years since their Ozzfest break, the group has toured with Static-X and was nominated for a 2010 GLAAD Media Award. Shamaya’s interests aren’t limited to metal; she’s also a spoken-word artist who has appeared on HBO’s “Def Poetry” and lent her voice to video games and movies, including The Hobbit: The Battle of The Five Armies. Her band released its latest album, Kult 45, this Otep PHOTO BY DJOSEFIN MAURER summer. SHEPHERD EXPRESS
Read our daily events guide, Today in Milwaukee, on shepherdexpress.com
TUESDAY, NOV. 27
Hip Hop Nutcracker @ The Riverside Theater, 8 p.m.
Peter Tchaikovsky’s Christmas ballet classic The Nutcracker has been reinterpreted so many times that it shouldn’t surprise anybody there’s a touring hip-hop version of the piece. It features a remixed score, live DJ, an electric violinist and a team of a dozen dancers blending classical and modern choreography. Perhaps most notable, though, is the appearance from one of hip-hop’s founding fathers, Kurtis Blow, who will perform a short opening set in addition to rapping the show’s introduction.
Bastille w/ Young The Giant, Bishop Briggs, Grandson @ The Rave, 7 p.m.
Each year, local alternative station FM 102.1 recruits some of the biggest names in modern rock for its Big Snow Show winter concerts at the Rave. This year’s concerts kick off with a bill featuring two of the most festive alternative crossover acts of the last few years: Bastille, the world-inspired band behind up-tempo hits like “Pompeii” and “Bad Blood,” and Los Angeles rockers Young The Giant. Bishop Briggs and Grandson round out the bill.
WEDNESDAY, NOV. 28 Cedric Burnside @ Shank Hall, 8 p.m.
The grandson of one of the most celebrated bluesman ever, R.L. Burnside, and the son of drummer Calvin Jackson (an influential blues player in his own right), Cedric Burnside has done his family legacy proud. The drummer/guitarist has played with acts as diverse as Widespread Panic, Jimmy Buffett, Bernard Allison and the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion, while garnering serious acclaim for his own records. His 2015 disc, Descendants of Hill Country, was nominated for a Grammy Award for Best Blues Album. He followed it up this year with another record of the traditional, nogimmick blues he’s known for, Benton County Relic.
Cedric Burnside
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A&E::INREVIEW
Joy and Laughter in Next Act’s ‘Twelve Dates of Christmas’ ::BY ANNE SIEGEL
The Rep’s ‘Miss Bennet: Christmas at Pemberley’
THEATRE
The Rep’s Delightful ‘Christmas’ Take on Jane Austen
F
::BY HARRY CHERKINIAN
ans of Jane Austen now have a holiday sequel to Pride and Prejudice. You’ll want to read (or reread) the novel after watching all the wicked fun and hilarious antics that the characters get into with this highly original, inventive story and top-notch production. Written by Lauren Gunderson and Margot Melcon, Miss Bennet: Christmas at Pemberley focuses on bookwormish, scholar-bent Mary (Rebecca Hurd), whose feminist forthrightness puts her at odds with her married sisters, their traditional husbands and society at large. It’s been two years since sister Elizabeth (Margaret Ivey) married Fitzwilliam Darcy (Yousof Sultani), and everyone is gathering at the Darcy estate, Pemberley, to celebrate Christmas. Mary, however, yearns to celebrate her own independence. “I long for a life being something other than someone else’s wife,” she proclaims early on at Pemberley, and her love of books, learning and piano playing only reinforce her isolation in a world that deems otherwise. Enter the Darcy cousin, also bookish and socially inept, Arthur de Bourgh (Jordan Brodess), and we see instantly where the holidays are headed for these two. The power of women is as potent offstage in Miss Bennet as it is onstage. For the first time in the Milwaukee Repertory Theater’s 65-year history, the entire production is headed by women—from the director to designers to stage manager. Director Kimberly Senior has given this well-written storyline with its clever dialogue a triumphant roar all its own, adding in a dual classic-contemporary twist; yes, that is the music of Katy Perry, Lady Gaga and Britney Spears that we hear played in classical format. “Girl Power” is as timeless as it ever was—and remains so. The eight-member ensemble is a delight to watch from start to finish. Hurd’s complex, layered portrayal of Mary is riveting, especially as she begins to fall for Brodess’ bumbling, tormented Arthur, just as complex a character in a first-rate portrayal. Even as the background spousal figures, Geyer cuts a fine comic turn as Charles Bingley, while Sultani (recently seen in Guards at the Taj) makes Darcy a three-dimensional figure; solid, upright, yet with a playful side. So, while the women most definitely rule in Miss Bennet, love still manages to find a way to bring the sexes back together in time to celebrate the season—no mistletoe needed. Through Dec. 16 at the Quadracci Powerhouse, 108 E. Wells St. For tickets, call 414-224-9490 or visit milwaukeerep.com. 24 | N O V E M B E R 2 2 , 2 0 1 8
A
nyone who has unwantedly endured a holiday season without a romantic partner will relate to Next Act Theatre’s The Twelve Dates of Christmas. The show is an overflowing cornucopia of joy, laughter and heartbreak as seen through the eyes of a single woman. Ginna Hoben’s story stars Susie Duecker as Mary. In her quest for romance, Duecker is aided by a pair of singing sisters, Kelly Doherty and Marcee Doherty-Elst, and the myriad musical talents of pianist Jack Forbes Wilson. Together, they take Mary through an entire year of failed relationships. The action rotates between songs and a series of skits. Mary begins her story in a self-satisfied glow. The New York City-based actress has become engaged to a really great guy. She envisions an endless series of holidays spent with her new love. However, she is also somewhat annoyed
that her fiancé has begged off joining her at her parent’s Ohio home. He claims to be stricken by food poisoning. Her glow turns to rage when she spots something familiar while viewing Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade on her parents’ television. When Mary sees a shot of (guess who?) kissing another woman along the parade route, she realizes that her dreams have evaporated. So, the manhunt resumes. In her quest to find Mr. Right, Mary hilariously tries to evade the likes of stalkers, creeps and weirdoes that come her way. But, yes, she meets a few nice guys, too. In order to tell Mary’s story, Duecker must create all sorts of other characters: relatives, single men and their jilted girlfriends and a little boy. She is ably guided in this effort by director David Cecsarini, who is also the theater company’s producing artistic director. Some of Mary’s interactions are funnier than others. The laughs reach a crescendo when the recently unhitched Mary is forced to go solo to her aunt Kathy’s holiday eggnog party. Duecker dons a pair of cat-eye glasses to impersonate the slightly tipsy, gossipy Kathy. When the latter introduces Mary to a dreamboat of a single guy who is also at the party, Mary is impressed. Unfortunately, the relationship ends up going nowhere. It is only when Mary forgets about longing for a man that she realizes the progress she has made. She turns her attention to a cute little boy who is co-starring with Mary in a production of A Christmas Carol. Finally, she realizes the events of the past year have taken her to a better, healthier place in which to pursue human relationships. Next Act has served up a delicious treat that is a fine alternative to traditional holiday fare. Through Dec. 9 at Next Act Theatre, 255 S. Water St. For tickets, visit nextact.org or call 414-278-0765.
Theatre Gigante Tells Spalding Gray’s ‘Stories’ ::BY RUSS BICKERSTAFF
T
heatre Gigante conjures fragmented biographical refractions reflected through five performers on a small stage with Spalding Gray: Stories Left to Tell. Spalding Gray’s fearless, unflinching examinations of a life in the second half of the 20th century echo through three women and two men on an almost entirely bare stage. Each performer lends a unique voice that celebrates the universality of human existence as read into the life of one celebrated storyteller. Gray’s unique voice and delivery feel a bit disorienting at first coming from the voices of so many others who aren’t him. The production wastes little time in casting enough light on the idiosyncrasies of one person’s life to cast shadows on deeper, more universal issues that examine the human condition. Each voice explores Gray’s life from a distinctly different direction. John Kishline’s thoughtful, intellectual resonance pulls a soft silence around some of Gray’s more thoughtful family moments. Mark Anderson adds a playfully ragged presence to the stage delivering Gray’s more adventurous side. Deborah Clifton lends warmth to her performance sitting behind a desk reading excerpts from Gray’s journals. Jill Anna Ponasik’s crisp sense of humor is a perfect match for Gray’s whimsical bewilderment at the professional end of Gray’s life. Isabelle Kralj is unabashedly open to Gray’s romantic side. Kralj and Anderson also direct the show, keeping it moving quite well as moments drift in an enjoyable, meandering chronology echoing through 80 minutes without intermission. Spalding Gray himself closes the show as reflected in a video image projected in the radiant glow of the late storyteller. Through Nov. 18 at the Kenilworth 508 Theatre, 1925 E. Kenilworth Place. For tickets, call 800838-3006 or visit gigantespalding.brownpapertickets.com. SHEPHERD EXPRESS
A&E::INREVIEW
MEET THE 2018 NOHL FELLOWS ROSS ZENTNER
ESTABLISHED ARTISTS Chris Cornelius Keith Nelson EMERGING ARTISTS Nazlı Dinçel Makeal Flammini Rosemary Ollison
Skylight’s ‘Hairspray’
Skylight’s Hilarious ‘Hairspray’ Provides Nonstop Entertainment
IN COLLABORATION WITH THE BRADLEY FAMILY FOUNDATION The Greater Milwaukee Foundation’s Mary L. Nohl Fund Fellowships for Individual Artists program provides unrestricted funds for five artists each year to create new work or complete work in progress.
www. lynden.art/nohl
::BY CATHERINE JOZWIK
F
ilmmaker John Waters, known for his irreverent humor, considered his movie Hairspray, set in 1962, to be “a comedy about integration,” but it goes beyond that. Hairspray champions the underdog, addresses racism and encourages self-acceptance. The movie has since inspired an awardwinning Broadway musical. Skylight Music Theatre’s production of Hairspray, directed by Chicago’s Lili-Anne Brown, provided its audience with nonstop entertainment, from the bouffant hairstyles and poufy dresses to hilarious singing numbers and larger-than-life sets (most notably, a giant aerosol can of hairspray in the show’s final scene). Ryan Cappleman’s imaginative choreography, including an ingenious scene of the characters playing dodge ball in a high school gym in slow motion and several tap dance numbers, was executed flawlessly by the talented cast members. The many area high schoolers who make up the Youth Ensemble were especially enjoyable to watch. Chicago actress Maisie Rose sparkled as Tracy Turnblad—a teenage plain Jane mercilessly teased for her weight but who dreams of appearing as a dancer on the “Corny Collins Show” (inspired by a Baltimore program of which Waters was an avid fan as a youngster). Tracy hopes to win the affections of heartthrob Link Larkin (Colin Schreier), who’s going steady with beautiful blonde mean girl Amber Von Tussle (deliciously played by Amber Smith). Tommy Novak (Edna Turnblad) and David Flores (Wilbur Turnblad) made a winning team as Tracy’s eccentric but warm-hearted parents. Other standout performances included Samantha Sostarich as the bigoted, underhanded Velma Von Tussle, mother of Amber; Ann Delaney as Peggy Pingleton, Tracy’s awkward best friend; Bethany Thomas as the silky voiced DJ Motormouth Maybelle, a champion of civil rights; and Gilbert Domally as Seaweed, Tracy’s smooth-talking pal with cutting-edge dance moves. Through Dec. 30 at the Broadway Theatre Center, 158 N. Broadway. For tickets, call 414-291-7800 or visit skylightmusictheatre.org.
For reviews of Acacia Theatre’s Sanders Family Christmas, Boulevard Theatre’s Mothers and Sons, Present Music’s Thanksgiving concert and the most recent concert by the Frankly Music chamber ensemble, visit shepherdexpress.com.
SHEPHERD EXPRESS
independent TRENDSETTER inclusive SABRINA MILWAUKEE SNEAKER ENTHUSIAST VIDEO AT RADIOMILWAUKEE.ORG N O V E M B E R 2 2 , 2 0 1 8 | 25
A&E::VISUALART
SPONSORED BY
PRINTMAKING IN TWO OR THREE DIMENSIONS at RIVERWEST’S SKI CLUB
P
::BY SHANE MCADAMS
rintmaking’s long history of political and social engagement often seems counterintuitive. It is a highly technical and processheavy medium, demanding a certain devotion to craft, labor and detail that might suggest a tendency to indulge its technical needs rather than issues beyond it. But on the other hand, it’s a medium exceedingly conducive to synthesizing various forms of content and reproducing it efficiently, making it an effective technique for impactful and graphic communication. John Hitchcock’s work in “Flatlander,” on view through January at the Ski Club (3172 N. Bremen St.), indulges both tendencies. The exhibition deftly reflects the range of possibilities within his most flexible discipline and is fitting for a professor in one of the nation’s most respected and productive printmaking departments, at UW-Madison. The north wall of the gallery demonstrates the versatility of Hitchcock’s medium in high relief, with an installation of prints fashioned into buffalo skulls and draped hides—Naugahide, actually, bearing his own screenprinted marks. The Protectors (Buffalo) takes his printing practice into the sculptural realm, with the three-dimensional substrate providing blunt impact, and the printing on them offering editorial context and subtlety. The printed marks suggest Hitchcock’s Native American heritage, with rows of small red Xs emblazoned on the hides menacingly in red, and possibly refer to the crude and systematic annihilation of the once ubiquitous source of existence along the rugged plains of his native Oklahoma. It’s a most dramatic headliner that powerfully announces the show all the way from the sidewalk outside. The remainder of the work in the show is two-dimensional. With the sculptural content etched, or better, screenprinted, in our minds, the seven framed works allow a deeper journey into his formal mark and image making without abandoning the spirit of the content. Quanah Parker returns to the subject matter of swallows and buffalo revealed in the installation, but it eventually melts into a network of bold lines and washes of color. Other works deviate even further from recognizable subject matter, building into almost formal arrangements. 4 Mile Rd., despite its suggestive place-driven title, operates successfully as a colorfully-layered and idiosyncratic composition of irregular geometry, skewed grids, and tick marks. It could exist alone as a riotous vortex of improvisatory art, except for the fading swallows that linger within them like a nagging illness that won’t subside. On the south wall of the gallery, Military Res Boundary Line prompts again with its title, though this one smacks visually as an almost total explosion of abstract linear networks and color. Some symbolic shapes on the lower half hint at literal meaning, but it feeds off of its busy composition and balance of dark, kinetic gestures over juicy warm washes of color and receding shapes. All contemporary art is a witch’s brew made of portions of three basic ingredients: form, content and process. Proportions of each slide between each other in every artist’s practice. Some pick one and double down, some pick two and double up, while others like Hitchcock use all three strategically as a means to selfreinforce. The work in “Flatlander” showcases Hitchcock’s canny use of form, content and printmaking processes to tell a personal and, ultimately, universal story. A very professorial approach, it seems, for a professor whose work instructs students as well as it impacts public audiences.
(top) John Hitchcock, Saddle Mountain, acrylic paint, screenprint and dye on paper, 22x30”, 2017; (bottom) John Hitchcock, Esa Rosa, acrylic paint, screenprint and dye on paper, 22x30”, 2018
26 | N O V E M B E R 2 2 , 2 0 1 8
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• Dine In • Carry Out • Delivery • N OV E M B E R 2 2 , 2 0 1 8 | 27
A&E::FILM
Rhapsodizing Over Freddie Mercury ::BY DAVID LUHRSSEN
U
‘Bohemian Rhapsody’
nless you’re writing history, the small details shouldn’t necessarily stand in the way of larger truths or even a good story. Despite many errors, Bohemian Rhapsody tells an entertaining story about its subject, singer Freddie Mercury, and represents many truths about the era of his band, Queen. Rami Malek plays Mercury, taking him from the awkward, long-haired kid handling baggage at Heathrow (1970) through his leather-bar Adonis look at Live Aid (1985). At every stage— early or late, public or private—Malek renders a believable portrait of a man brimming with ideas and ambition. Mercury aimed for the stars. His operatic sense of pathos and comedy was evident years before he recorded the song that gives the film its name. A Parsee refugee who fled Zanzibar with his family, Mercury was, like Bob Dylan or Jay Gatsby, a self-creation. Bohemian Rhapsody shows the tight-knit ethnic family, the doting mother and disapproving father who demands that his son make something of himself. Rock star was not on dad’s mind, and for his son, the straight-and-narrow looked like a dead end.
[ FILM CLIPS ] Ralph Breaks the Internet PG When the video game “Sugar Rush” breaks, Vanellope (voice of Sarah Silverman) goes into crisis mode. Luckily, Ralph (John C. Reilly) has discovered a Wi-Fi router that can get them onto the Internet where they might obtain parts for the aging game. Once inside the web, the pair are instantly bombarded by advertising, including Japanese billboards and websites still under construction. Ralph goes crazy bidding on eBay, so Vanellope enters them in the “Slaughter Race,” where she’ll win a huge prize—provided she can best tough girl Shank (Gal Gadot). The Internet also allows Vanellope access to Disney’s Magic Kingdom, where she is hilariously interrogated by a convention of the studio’s famous princesses. (LM.)
Creed II PG-13 The Rocky franchise reemerged in 2015 with retired boxing champ Rocky (Sylvester Stallone) coaching the son of a colleague. Wearing his triumphs and regrets beneath his pork-pie hat, in chapter one, Rocky molded future champ Adonis Creed (Michael B. Jordan). Round two finds the pair returning to their corner, only to disagree and go their separate ways. Rocky is against Adonis fighting the son of the boxer (Dolph Lundgren) who recklessly killed Creed’s dad in the ring. Adonis defies Rocky, determined to show he fears no one and maybe get some payback. Unlike chapter one, this installment finds little new territory to tread, but each predictable beat is passionately conveyed by Jordan and Stallone. (Lisa Miller)
Robin Hood PG-13 Leonardo DiCaprio produced this version of Robin Hood, which is grittier, edgier and more violent than previous iterations. The film emphasizes combat sequences and should draw in a younger crowd eager to see Robin wielding various weapons, including pyrotechnics. Taron Egerton appears in the title role—a war-hardened crusader teaming up with Moorish commander Little John (Jamie Foxx beneath a tribal-inspired scarification pattern). Together, they organize a revolt against the corrupt English crown. Reportedly, 100 actresses auditioned for Maid Marian, the role eventually going to 27-year-old Eve Hewson (daughter of U2’s Bono). (L.M.) 28 | N O V E M B E R 2 2 , 2 0 1 8
As with most facets of Mercury’s life, Bohemian Rhapsody touches lightly on the father-son conflict and rolls forward with an agreeable rhythm. Like most screenwriters tasked with distilling a complicated life into a two-hour movie, Anthony McCarten boils all developments down to a set of memorable incidents that probably never happened. However, his screenplay conveys an understanding for the wider meaning of it all. Little period details are nailed: the crates of LPs, the long-distance calls from payphones while on tour, the glamorous discovery that women’s clothes can flatter a well-kept male body. Some of the critics taking Bohemian Rhapsody to task for inaccuracy sound like the reviewer who responds to Hamilton by insisting that George Washington never rapped. Much of Bohemian Rhapsody could easily be transformed to the musical stage. It has the cues, the pace of Broadway—that urge Bohemian to break out in song and dance (albeit Rhapsody director Bryan Singer never takes the story down that path). And, like the Rami Malek great musicals West Side Story and Lucy Boynton Hamilton, the razzmatazz of Bohemian Directed by Rhapsody is undercut by tragedy. Bryan Singer One through-line in the film is MerRated PG-13 cury’s love for Mary Austin (Lucy Boynton), which coincided with his desire for men. He found beauty wherever he saw it and emerged in a period of glamorous ambiguity, a milieu where sexual single-mindedness was not an issue. A gay subtext was already in plain view on Queen’s early albums (most of their 1970s American fans didn’t see it), powered in large part by the symphonic grandeur of Brian May’s guitar playing and the exuberant joy that infused their songs and performance. Bohemian Rhapsody gets that.
[ HOME MOVIES / NOW STREAMING ] Itzhak
Ed Sullivan shaped popular music by presenting Elvis Presley and The Beatles, but he also influenced classical music by introducing Itzhak Perlman. In 1958, Sullivan presented the 13-year-old, just arrived in America, performing Felix Mendelssohn. It was, as they said back then, a big break. Perlman went on to become classical music’s star violinist. Alison Chernick’s documentary Itzhak includes interviews and concert footage from the past, but much of its running time is devoted to the present—or, at least, Perlman’s present-day memories of his past. With Chernick in tow, Perlman visits his Tel Aviv birthplace and recounts how his parents drove him to succeed. Walking with crutches and braces from polio, Perlman had to surmount the barrier against disabled people on the classical stage. Perlman comes across as gregarious and open hearted. He reminds us that a musician without an inner reflective life is merely a technician.
“The Best of the Three Stooges, Volumes One-Three”
Some of their physical humor is almost painful to watch, but many of their routines remain hilarious. Those maestros of lowbrow humor from the 1930s-‘40s are represented on a multi-volume series of DVDs. The 45 hours of material amassed here include four feature films and a host of short subjects. The trio of miscreants bumble and bludgeon their way through an ongoing sequence of pratfalls, fowling criminals and thwarting the Axis as they go.
You Never Know Women
William A. Wellman was a prolific Hollywood director from the silent era through the late 1950s. Previously lost, Wellman’s You Never Know Women (1926) is out on Blu-ray. The nocturnal urban scenes suggest the influence of German cinema, and the staging of performances by a traveling Russian troop of acrobats and illusionists is interestingly staged. By this time, the grammar of filmmaking had developed to the point where acting was understated and melodramatic gestures unnecessary. —David Luhrssen SHEPHERD EXPRESS
::OFFTHECUFF
Michael Batcho
Free Concerts at the Cathedral
OFF THE CUFF WITH ST. JOHN THE EVANGELIST’S MICHAEL BATCHO ::BY CATHERINE JOZWIK
T
he Cathedral of St. John the Evangelist (812 N. Jackson St.) serves the Milwaukee community through a number of outreach and arts programs, including its Open Door Café, which serves hot meals and bag lunches to those in need, and a jail/prison ministry program. Accessible arts for all are an integral part of St. John’s mission. The Cathedral Fine Arts series, which began more than two decades ago, has included plays and performances from a number of musicians, including jazz great Dave Brubeck. Since 2002, St. John has been offering free half-hour public concerts at 12:15 p.m. every Wednesday. Off the Cuff asked Michael Batcho, St. John director of music, a few questions about the series. How did the Wednesday concert series get started? In 2002, we had completed renovation of the cathedral. We had made the decision to not have a noonday service. I had wanted to do a free concert series for a while, so this was the perfect time to get it going. The cathedral strives to keep outreach ministries, such as our Open Door Café, flowing. We believe in creating arts events that are available to the public. Donations at the concert are appreciated and go to fund the concert series. Is the music performed at the concerts secular or religious? Most of the music is religious. We aren’t the Pabst or the Uihlein, so we like to host performances appropriate to the venue. We’ve featured performances by the Milwaukee Liederkranz, a German men’s choir, and a number of harpists and organists. This year, we started Voces Mundi (Voices of the World), a series which highlights music from around the world, including Spain and South Africa. Who mainly attends these concerts? Are they popular with Downtown workers on their lunch breaks? We get a few Downtown workers, but the audiences mostly consist of senior citizens. It’s been ebbing and flowing over the years. What are your upcoming plans for the concert series? We’ve already booked performers through 2019. On Sunday, Dec. 9, at 5:15 p.m., we will hold our Advent Service of Lessons and Carols, with music from Voces Mundi, Cathedral Choir, Women’s Choir, Handbell Ensemble, and two organists. In March, we generally host a concert to celebrate Lent. For more information on the Cathedral of St. John the Evangelist and its Wednesday concert and fine arts series and community outreach programs, visit stjohncathedral.org. SHEPHERD EXPRESS
Merriment Social • 5:30-9pm Tuesday, December 11 • $25 shepherdtickets.com THIS IS A 21+ EVENT. N O V E M B E R 2 2 , 2 0 1 8 | 29
A&E::BOOKS
BOOK|REVIEW
The Misunderstood Mission of Jean Nicolet: Uncovering the Story of the 1634 Journey
(WISCONSIN HISTORICAL SOCIETY), BY PATRICK J. JUNG
So, all those stories of Jean Nicolet’s landing in Wisconsin—of the French explorer stepping off a canoe at Green Bay wearing silken robes in expectation of meeting the Emperor of China—are wrong? So writes Patrick J. Jung in his painstaking recreation of Nicolet’s 1634 journey into the Great Lakes. Turns out Nicolet was on a more realistic diplomatic mission, an attempt to establish peaceful rapport between France and the region’s Native Americans at a time when the French and British vied for dominance over North America. Specifically, Nicolet met with the Menomonees and the ancestors of the Ho-Chunk. A history professor at Milwaukee School of Engineering, Jung draws his account carefully from the scant records of Nicolet’s trek and refuses to make the fanciful leaps of previous historians. The errors cleared up by The Misunderstood Mission of Jean Nicolet show how history-writing can resemble the Internet in slow motion—that falsehoods, once they take hold, tend to perpetuate themselves and spread. (David Luhrssen)
THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER: THE MUSICAL Book and Lyrics by Jahnna Beecham Music and Lyrics by Malcolm Hillgartner Based on the Play by Barbara Robinson Presented by special arrangement with Broadway Licensing (www.broadwaylicensing.com)
BOOK|PREVIEW
Author Defies Native American Stereotypes ::BY JENNI HERRICK
M
any American cities took their names from the languages of native people. The area known as Chicago used to be an Algonquin area called Shikaakwa, but today, less than .5% of Chicago’s residents identify as Native American, according to the 2010 census. Throughout our country’s history, native people have endured cultural alienation, the loss of their language and their land, and the destruction of family and social structures. For some youth, gangs offer a shelter from those realities. So it was for Theodore Van Alst Jr., who recounts his youthful exploits and extralegal activities in a powerful debut short story collection Sacred Smokes, a work of fiction that defies stereotypes through its raw and personal tales. The writing in Sacred Smokes is beautifully poetic, and each story is fluidly connected by its impactful prose and insightful observations. In Sacred Smokes, Van Alst, an associate professor and the chair of Native American Studies at the University of Montana, takes readers through the streets of Chicago with a uniquely intense voice, as he casts a fresh eye on what it means to be a modern indigenous American. Van Alst is also the creative editor for Transmotion, an online journal of postmodern indigenous studies. He will perform a live reading at the UWMilwaukee Library, 4th Floor, at 7 p.m. on Tuesday, Nov. 27. This event is co-sponsored by Woodland Pattern Book Center and will focus on the politics of language in Native Cinema. Theodore Van Alst Jr.
TICKETS START AT $15!
Nov. 23 – Dec. 26, 2018 Suggested for families with young people ages 4 – 14+ F I R S T S T A G E . O R G / P A G E A N T
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SHEPHERD EXPRESS
VOTE NOW Finalists Round 11/1-11/29
Don’t leave winning up to chance.
shepherdexpress.com/bom18 SHEPHERD EXPRESS
N OV E M B E R 2 2 , 2 0 1 8 | 31
Know Your Status.
::HEARMEOUT ASK RUTHIE | UPCOMING EVENTS | PAUL MASTERSON
Get Tested. FREE HIV AND STD TESTING AT OUR BRADY STREET LOCATION MONDAY AND TUESDAY NIGHTS. NO APPOINTMENT NEEDED.
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Gobble, Gobble, the Holidays! Dear Ruthie,
Here’s a Thanksgiving Day dilemma I’m hoping you can solve. My wife and I have been married for just over a year, and we’re hosting our first Thanksgiving (ever) for BOTH of our families, who live out of town. That’s a tall order for two people who have never hosted the granddaddy of all holiday meals—by the way, both our granddaddies coming. Both families will be in town by 3 p.m. on Thanksgiving Day. One family wants to celebrate on Thursday since they’ll be hungry from the drive, but the other family wants to celebrate on Friday, after they’ve had a night to rest up. Personally, we’d like to have Thanksgiving on Friday with a special “welcome” buffet on Thursday. The one family is making a stink about this, however, saying we’re breaking tradition. The families are “getting into it” already over this, and we don’t need World War III at the dinner table. Any thoughts on what we should do?
Thankful for You! Grumpy Gobbler Girl
Dear Gobbler,
Your house, your rules, your Thanksgiving. Your plan makes sense to me but, truly, the only thing that matters is what makes sense to you two hosts. If I were you, I’d make sure Friday’s buffet was special (even if it’s casual), and the night extra fun. Who knows? Maybe you’ll create a new tradition! Work in a Friday night toast, reminding everyone that the holiday is about being grateful, and that the two of you are thankful to be surrounded by those you love. No one can turn an ugly eye to a heartfelt toast about family... whether it’s on Thanksgiving or the day after. If that doesn’t work, tell ’em to stuff it where the sun doesn’t shine and a toss a pumpkin pie at their Plymouth Rocks.
::RUTHIE’S SOCIALCALENDAR Nov. 22— Christkindlmarket at Fiserv Forum (1111 N. Vel R. Phillips Ave.): The sights of a German Yuletide meet the heart of Brew City, along with the excitement of the Fiserv Forum during this outdoor marketplace. In addition to gifts and collectables, you’ll find lots of savory bites and drinks (of course!) as well as live music and other familyfriendly entertainment. See christkindlmarket.com/milwaukee for a list of vendors, entertainment lineups and more. The marketplace opens at 11 a.m. most days and runs through Dec. 31. Nov. 22—Women’s Coming Out Group at Milwaukee LGBT Community Center (1110 N. Market St.): If you’re a female struggling with coming out or facing challenges regarding gender identity, this free support group might be for you. Join the 6-7:30 p.m. discussion in Room 210 of the center. Call 414-271-2656 with questions. Nov. 22—Complimentary Thanksgiving Dinner at LVL Bistro (801 S. Second St.): Bring a donation for Courage MKE, and you’ll enjoy a turkey supper on the house. Doors open at 4 p.m., with dinner at 6 p.m., but remember that meals are dished out on a first come first serve basis; when they’re gone, they’re gone. So, shake your tailfeather over to LVL Bistro for a Friendsgiving feast. Nov. 23—Whose Drag is it Anyway, Black Friday Edition at D.I.X. (739 S. First St.): Comedy queens invade the Walker’s Point hot spot with a post-Turkey Day party. Hosts Sylvia Nyxx and Dixie Kuppe get your gobbler going when funny lady—and winner of “Camp Wannakiki”—Alexis P. Bevels stops by. Drink specials, dancing and drag make for a memorable long weekend. The craziness starts at 10 p.m. Nov. 24—RUFFHOUSE Party at This Is It! (418 E. Wells St.): At 10 p.m., the lights go down and the heat turns up at one of Milwaukee’s most popular bars. Arrive early because DJ 5AM packs the place and fills it with dance beats all night long. Nov. 28—“An Evening with Megan Hilty” at Marcus Center for The Performing Arts (929 N. Water St.): The talented Tony nominee, TV sensation and Broadway diva rides into Cream City with the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra as her backup. See why this incredible entertainer is so beloved as she belts out Broadway’s best, holiday favorites and heartfelt ballots. Get tickets to the 7:30 p.m. concert at mso.org. Nov. 28—“Ginger Minj: Crossdresser for Christ-mas” at Hamburger Mary’s (730 S. Fifth St.): The darling of RuPaul’s Drag Race sheds her season-7 skin to entertain the masses at Milwaukee’s hamburger haven. Laugh your way into the holidays as the former Southern Baptist recounts tales of her youth through comedy and songs, while putting the “fun” back into dysfunction. See brownpapertickets.com for $25 seats ($45 VIP option with meet-and-greet afterward). Ask Ruthie a question and share your events at DearRuthie@Shepex. com. Follow her on Instagram @ruthiekeester and Facebook at Dear Ruthie.
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SHEPHERD EXPRESS
::ILIKEITLIKETHAT
::MYLGBTQPoint of View
was someone I was supposed to fear—only, as a little Mexican American girl growing up on Milwaukee’s South Side, I had a different relationship with God and with Our Lady of Guadalupe, the Patron of the Americas. We had a connection! It was a connection so strong that I decided, at 7 years old, that they would be the first people I’d come out to without even knowing the expression “coming out” or ever hearing the terms “lesbian” or “tortillera.”
Milwaukee’s Holiday Invitational Tournament Celebrates its 40th Anniversary ::BY PAUL MASTERSON
F
or some in Milwaukee’s LGBTQ community, nothing conjures Thanksgiving spirit like the ambient rumbling roll of a ball on pine and maple boards, climaxing with the ringing clatter of falling pins. The Holiday Invitational Tournament (HIT), the world’s longest running LGBTQ bowling tournament, celebrates its 40th anniversary this weekend. For its hardcore adherents, it’s both a tribute to the sport and a milestone of community history. It all began in 1978, when representatives of Milwaukee’s various LGBTQ bowling leagues decided to organize a national tournament. Scheduled over Thanksgiving weekend, it would provide gay and lesbian players not only with a fun weekend with friends, but also offer a respite from what might otherwise be a lonely holiday. Although, almost a decade prior, the Stonewall Riots launched the movement towards LGBTQ equality, many of those who embraced their liberation found themselves ostracized personae non gratae at such traditional family gatherings. The first HIT was held in 1979; the tournament would grow exponentially each year thereafter. Initially, bowlers came from the immediate region. Then, as it grew, teams from Chicago, Toronto, Dayton, Detroit, Minneapolis, Louisville, Kansas City and St. Louis were joined by those from the farflung coasts, with contingents from San Francisco, Seattle and Vancouver, and from the eastern bowling bastions of New York City and Washington, D.C. Speaking of far flung, later tournaments would host teams from New Zealand and Australia, as well. Within two years of the first HIT, Milwaukee would be among the six founding cities of the International Gay Bowling Organization (IGBO). Today, that organization boasts 250 leagues with 8,000 members in five countries. Within a decade, 30 other cities had followed suit with bowling tournaments of their own. But Milwaukee’s HIT proudly bore the appellation “the Grand Daddy of Gay Bowling Tournaments.” While the competition is serious, HIT always stressed the sport’s fun and camaraderie. By the mid-1980s, gay bowling’s mission had also taken a fundraising role in the fight against AIDS. The 13th HIT, in 1991, brought more than 300 bowlers to Cream City, while its 25th silver anniversary in 2003 greeted nearly 400 participants. That latter event’s fundraising raffle included a Harley-Davidson motorcycle and benefitted Camp Heartland, BestD Clinic and the Wisconsin AIDS Fund. This year’s 40th anniversary HIT welcomes only 100 mostly local and Chicago bowlers, along with representatives from Florida and Nevada. But, while that waning number may seem significant, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. There’s been an overall decline in bowling nationwide, and LGBTQ leagues have followed suit. But, perhaps more importantly, times have changed, not only for the sport but also for LGBTQs. Thanks to the community’s advances, rather than bowling, many are probably bringing their partners or spouses and kids to the grandparents’ house or entertaining their families themselves for that traditional Thanksgiving dinner. Still, for those who do attend, they’ll enjoy HIT’s hospitality as before. Bowling takes place at Bowlero in Wauwatosa, with host bars welcoming players each evening. The closing HIT banquet will take place at the Hilton City Center, when a new Hall of Fame member will be announced and tournament trophies presented. This year’s fundraising beneficiary is the Holton Street Clinic. SHEPHERD EXPRESS
‘This is Who I Am’
LED BY FAITH: COMING OUT IN THE CATHOLIC CHURCH ::BY CARMEN MURGUIA
I
try very hard to make it to the 8:30 a.m. gospel mass at St. Francis of Assisi Catholic Church on Fourth and Brown streets in Milwaukee, and I do so for many reasons: It’s one of the most diverse congregations I’ve ever been to, the choir and their selections often bring me to tears and closer to God, and the message I get every time I do attend is that I, right where I’m at, am welcomed. That feeling of being welcomed as a person from the LGBTQ community was even more pronounced when our pastor, Father Mike, announced after his sermon (it went a little like this): “I’ve been getting more requests from the LGBTQ community about making St. Francis a welcoming church, and I let them know we are a church that recognizes and welcomes everyone, including the LGBTQ community.” It wasn’t the first time I felt welcomed in a church for being exactly who I am; in fact, it was St. Stephens Catholic Church in Minneapolis where, back in the ’80s, the leaders and servers were openly gay, and in Manhattan’s St. Xavier Catholic Church where, during Pride events, the rainbow flag of glory, safety and freedom was exquisitely carried in a procession. Why am I Catholic? I am deeply rooted culturally and spiritually and different than many people might think of when they hear Catholic. You see, I was raised at a time in the late ’60s and ’70s when we sat in church, and the priest would talk at us, not to us, and people wondered why children were so fidgety. God
The first time I came out to anyone was a fierce admission of “this is who I am,” because, for so long (OK, seven years), I’d noticed so much more than I wanted. I just wanted to play. I didn’t want what most every LGBTQ child has: tremendous insight. There is a weight to knowing—knowing that I was a girl, and there are special rules and regulations about where my place was, what and when I could say what was on my mind, down to how I played, behaved and dressed. Girls and women were second-class citizens. Then, there was being Mexican American in a society that only had enough space for one half of me: the American side. The Mexican side, I noticed, had its place, and we weren’t always welcome outside of it. Finally, I was a girl who liked girls. How did I know this? I felt “funny,” a tingle, an excitement, a love, a crush, a need to want to be near other girls I was attracted to—just like now as an adult, but much weightier. I was an artist, too, only I recognized early on that I wouldn’t get into a fight for being called an “artist;” a girl, a Mexican, a girl who liked girls, yes, but not for being called an artist. Being an artist was a compliment, and, although I was proud of who I was because of the way my parents and other relatives were showing me to be proud of crucial parts of my being, carrying all this inside my lanky little body was simply too much for this child, until that fateful day. I was playing outside on the cement grounds, and, all of a sudden, I just stopped. Just like that, I stopped playing and walked up to St. Anthony’s Catholic Church in my uncomfortable school uniform (plaid skirt, white blouse), and I went up to the very first pew, where I could be as close to God and to Our Lady of Guadalupe as possible, because I wanted to make certain they could hear me. I told them about these three things that made up who I was—the way I was created in the womb and my need for their guidance, their unconditional love, their companionship. In the end, I whispered to them to “just please protect me” for the rest of my life, and they were the special ones chosen for this great feat, because I felt they watched over the universe, so why not add me to the mix? I blessed myself and walked back out to the playground, picked up the ball and felt relief that I, in fact, was special, and I would be protected for the rest of my life. Being protected and close to God and Our Lady of Guadalupe has been my saving grace all these years. It has not always been easy, and there were times I even felt alone and abandoned. But I have learned to love myself and life as I was born into all these years. If you want to hear my first coming out story, visit wuwm.com/post/excerpt-latina-lives-milwaukee. Until next time, let’s keep movin’ and groovin’ TOGETHER. After all, I Like It Like That!
Love, Carmen N O V E M B E R 2 2 , 2 0 1 8 | 33
::MUSIC
JOSHUA BLACK WILKINS
FEATURE | ALBUM REVIEWS | CONCERT REVIEWS | LOCAL MUSIC
JD McPherson BRINGS CHRISTMAS EARLY ::BY JOSHUA MILLER
hen it comes to determining how early is too early for Christmas music, JD McPherson tends to say, “respect Thanksgiving.” It’s something his neighbor, Mr. Henry, used to say while he was growing up. McPherson is making an exception, however, with the recent release of his new Christmas-themed album SOCKS, and an accompanying tour that starts weeks before the holiday. “Let’s say I’m on the fence,” McPherson says. “I’m slightly hypocritical.” When he set off to create a Christmas album, McPherson knew it might seem like an odd choice. He’s not oblivious to the bad rap that Christmas albums get. In many cases, a Christmas album serves as an easy stop-gap between traditional album releases.
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“There are some Christmas albums that don’t have much effort put into their production,” he says. Not so with SOCKS. He’s proud of the hours he poured into writing and recording original compositions for the album. Song titles include “Ugly Sweater Blues,”“What’s That Sound” and “Santa’s Got A Mean Machine.” The album, which features a heavy dose of unfiltered rock ‘n’ roll, doesn’t feel out of place next to his other albums, including last year’s Undivided Heart & Soul. “When you’re making Christmas music, it’s easy to make something that’s nostalgic instead of trying to find a new angle to Christmas-themed songwriting,” he says. “[This album] feels more like a regular album to me than a Christmas album. I hope the listeners feel the same way.” For example, “Holly, Carol, Candy & Joy” features four separate verses and four corresponding choruses. “It was a challenge to create a chorus tailor-made for each verse,” he says. A lot of the album’s lyrics also features his sense of humor. “It’s a pretty close approximation of my humor, which is mostly dad jokes,” he says. When McPherson and his band recorded the album in Nashville last spring, at recording studio Alex The Great, the weather JD McPherson was far from a White ChristTurner Hall Ballroom mas. “It was tough because Wednesday, Nov. 28, Nashville at the time was 8 p.m. pretty hot and sultry,” he says. “I put up a Christmas tree up in the studio and only allowed myself to listen to Christmas music for a good, little bit of time.” The recording experience was different from Heart & Soul in almost every way, he says. This time, they had a studio booked. “The Christmas record was one of the smoothest recording experiences I’ve ever had in making an album,” he says. While writing the songs, he occasionally thought of his own Christmas memories growing up in Broken Arrow, Okla. “I lived out in the country, so it was a big deal since there wasn’t a lot going on,” he says. “It was a golden age of toys and video games. I remember getting my first Masters of the Universe action figures and first Empire Strikes Back gear. I remember getting a Nintendo for Christmas and playing Duck Hunt until the gun broke. As a kid, I was disappointed with getting clothes,” he adds. On “All the Gifts I Need,” a song he co-wrote with his friend Trent Dabbs, McPherson focuses on more recent Christmas memories. “We tried to write from the perspective of being fathers getting ready for Christmas,” says McPherson. “Getting things out of the attic, and just observing people getting ready for Christmas and putting up a tree, that kind of thing.” McPherson has become a very prolific writer of late. He attributes part of this flood of creativity to his move to Nashville, where he spent a lot of time writing and playing with other musicians. “Productivity breeds productivity,” he says. “So maybe just working all the time helps kick it into gear. Right now, the last thing I want to do is make any more music for a minute. We made one record and then made another right after that, so I’m just enjoying being ahead of the game a little bit for once.” For the time being, everyone is in high spirits, despite the storage space where they stored their equipment flooding before the tour began (“We may have all new gear when we visit Milwaukee.”) “Working on the new show has ejected a new enthusiasm in the band,” he says. JD McPherson plays Turner Hall Ballroom on Wednesday, Nov. 28, at 8 p.m.
SHEPHERD EXPRESS
::::LOCALMUSIC NICOLE ZENONI
For more MUSIC, log onto shepherdexpress.com
::CONCERTREVIEW
Too Short and His Old-School Cohorts Delivered the Goods ::BY THOMAS MICHALSKI
I
t was only just over a year ago that Too Short last graced the Miller High Life Theatre stage, accompanied by an assortment of notable peers, but never one to stop hustling, the legendary Oakland MC was back at it again Saturday night, this time bringing along a mostly new set of talented contemporaries. Appropriately dubbed the “Return of the Kings” tour, Short’s new traveling revue delivered all the raunchiness and rap star-power fans have come to expect—but relatively sluggish ticket sales compared to last year’s easily sold-out show seem to suggest that even the kings are subject to the law of diminishing returns. Starting off the evening, as many people were still navigating the serpentine, gender-specific security lines, was Michel’le, a R&B chanteuse whose association with West Coast gansta rap goes all the way back to the World Class Wreckin’ Cru. While capable of powerfully belting it out all the way to the back rows, her natural speaking voice sounds something like a helium-inhaling chipmunk, which she seems to have a lot of fun with, gamely getting laughs by playfully modulating between the two, teasing the audience with a few bars of something like “Turn off the Lights” before breaking the spell with one sassy aside or another. After some time-killing between-set banter from local comedian DRock came Texas underground originators the Geto Boys, whose psychotic brand of gritty horrorcore is still as edgy as ever 30 years later. Despite the full trio being in attendance, they tended to share the spotlight, with Scarface or Willie D. deftly delivering their verse of some cult-classic like “Mind Playing Tricks on Me” and then drifting back offstage—or jumping offstage, as the diminutive yet imposing Bushwick Bill chose to do at one point. He disappeared into the sea of people for so long that his comrades seemed to get a little concerned (or at least impatient). Next up was the ringleader himself, Too Short, who eschewed songs from his brand-new album The Pimp Tapes in favor of X-rated classics like “Freaky Tales” and “Life is… Too Short.” To be fair, he had decades worth of crowd-pleasers to pack into a set that, clocking in at under an hour, was overly brief (I could have opted for the obvious pun; you’re welcome). He highlighted his old-school output and new millennium bangers like “Blow the Whistle,” but a few songs the audience didn’t already know the words to would’ve been a welcome addition among all the time-tested usual suspects. Once Too Short casually wrapped up his performance, D-Rock rushed on to assure the audience that, although they had been heretofore unmentioned, Bone Thugs-N-Harmony were in fact in the building and ready come in. Having already seen the ostensible headliner, and given Bone Thugs’ semiregular appearances at the Rave, more than a few folks took the opportunity to slip out. Yet, as familiar as they are, hits like “1st of tha Month” or closer “Tha Crossroads” were worth sticking around for, even if they were bringing up the house lights before the group even finished, awkwardly wrapping up an exciting, if by now somewhat predictable, evening.
SHEPHERD EXPRESS
Direct Hit
Direct Hit Shake Things Up on “Crown of Nothing” ::BY EVAN RYTLEWSKI
P
UNK TENDS TO REWARD PURITY OF VISION. Generally the surest path to success for a punk band is to do one thing and do it well, be it streamlined garage punk, street punk or post-hardcore. Direct Hit have never been ones to limit themselves, though. The Milwaukee quartet is most often described as pop-punk because of their distinctive embrace of the more radio-friendly punk of the early ’00s, but they’ve never restricted their records to those sounds. Instead, their albums hopscotch from skate-punk to hardcore and alternative. It’s all punk, sure, but it’s a very wide tent. “The band started being very influenced by standard four-chord rock bands like The Thermals, The Ramones, Andrew W.K. and Blink-182, because that was just the kind of band I wanted to start, but it was never the only music we were interested in,” explains singer/guitarist Nick Woods. “I never wanted to just play one kind of sound over and over again. And, since Direct Hit is the only band that I have, that means that we have a song that’s under a minute long and I’m screaming the whole time, Direct Hit has to play it. And it also means that if I have a song that’s a four-minute prom hit from the ’80s, then Direct Hit is playing that, too. “ “That’s why there are so many different sounds on our records,” he continues. “They don’t have anywhere else to go.” Direct Hit didn’t hide their ambition on their 2016’s Wasted Minds, their first for Fat Wreck Chords, a sprawling, wide-screen punk record. And their follow-up Crown of Nothing, released last month, is an even bolder swing for the fences as well as a step outside of their comfort zone. In the past, their process had always been to rehearse the songs to near completion before they began recording, but for the new album they left room for surprises in the studio, while inviting more than a dozen guest musicians to leave their mark on the record. “It gave us a chance to bring is some different ideas,” Woods says. “But it was very uncomfortable at times. Usually when we enter the studio we can always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I think this was the first album where we didn’t. We walked into this tunnel and didn’t see the other side of it, so we had to trust each other and the musicians we brought in to help bring us to the other side.” To these ears, Crown of Nothing is Direct Hit’s most exciting record, and the unpredictability flatters the band. The anthemic opener “Different Universe” kicks off the album with lighters-waving pomp. The raging “Perfect Black” is fitfully ferocious, while keyboards and saxophones give “Bad Answer” the sweep of a heyday Bruce Springsteen track. But Woods speaks about the album with a mix of pride and ambivalence. “I think it’s clearly our most interesting album,” he says (which, you’ll note, is not the same as “our best album”). And while Woods insists “I’m really happy with how it turned out,” he also talks about it as if it’s still a work in progress. “It’s hard when you’re so ADD about music and you like everything,” he says. “That’s a challenge for a band like us, trying to figure out how to do everything you like without letting your vision get lost along the way. I think we’re still struggling with that on this record. It’s a little mixtapey, I feel, even though that doesn’t bother me at all.” Woods credits their label Fat Wreck Chords for giving the band the freedom—not to mention the budget—to make the kind of albums they want to make, even though that their scattershot nature makes them anything but a surefire return on investment. “They’ve never questioned a decision we’ve made,” Woods says of the label. “They knew we weren’t going to be a band that sold a ton of records. They knew we toured a lot. They knew we had families. They knew we had other stuff in our lives separate from this group, and that’s why we’re so loyal to that label. They’ve been very understanding of everything we’ve wanted to do.” N O V E M B E R 2 2 , 2 0 1 8 | 35
MUSIC::LISTINGS
::ALBUM Jimi Hendrix Experience Electric Ladyland Deluxe Edition (LEGACY)
Anyone who cares about rock music, classic or otherwise, is already familiar with Jimi Hendrix’s Electric Ladyland. As Rolling Stone’s David Fricke writes in the booklet of the album’s latest reissue, it was Hendrix’s “most ambitious and confessional album of his supernova lifetime.” Marking 50 years since Electric Ladyland’s release, the Deluxe Edition’s four-CD box set includes the glorious contents of the original LP with such stone-laying, storm the mountain top tracks as “Crosstown Traffic,” “Voodoo Chile” and his reimagining of Bob Dylan’s “All Along the Watchtower.” Interesting for fans is the bonus CD, At Last… The Beginning, songs caught on reel-to-reel at New York’s Drake Hotel in 1968. Those recordings were the sketchbook from which much of Electric Ladyland was drawn. Hendrix played quietly, brooding over “Angel,” tinkering with “Cherokee Mist” and sounding, on “1983… (A Merman I Should Turn to Be),” for all the world like David Bowie in his The Man Who Sold the World phase. The set also includes a 1968 Hollywood Bowl concert and a documentary. Fricke’s prose in the profusely illustrated book puts it all in context. And it would be over soon. Two years after Electric Ladyland, Hendrix was dead. —David Luhrssen
Mrs. Fun
Truth (FUN TIME RECORDS)
Mrs. Fun is a 30year marriage of musical mirth and mutual creativity. On Truth, the Milwaukee jazz-pop duo documents its characteristically vast expressive range and stylistic diversity. The title, and the album cover’s darkly eloquent pyramid silhouette, suggest intent to stand the test of time. You could pop this CD in for a party backdrop, yet it rewards mindful, even reflective, listening. To the latter point, the original “Zawinul” tributes the dominant figure behind the incomparable fusion group Weather Report. It evokes Joe Zawinul’s orchestral exotic scene-painting via synthesizer, yet retains the grounding of walking bass and crackling drums. Keyboardist-vocalist Connie Grauer might be the most resourceful synthesizer player on the Milwaukee scene. This keys the group’s brilliance, along with drummer Kim Zick’s endless array of rhythmic accents and propulsive grooves and dynamics. —Kevin Lynch Mrs. Fun perform at 8 p.m. on Wednesday, Nov. 28, at The Jazz Estate.
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MONDAY, NOVEMBER 26
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 22
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 24
Jazz Estate, Big Band Monday with Hornzz (6:30pm)
County Clare Irish Inn & Pub, Acoustic Irish Folk w/Barry
American Legion Post #449 (Brookfield), Rev. Raven & The
Dodd
Chain Smokin’ Altar Boys w/Westside Andy
Mason Street Grill, Mark Thierfelder Jazz Trio (5:30pm)
Art*Bar, Wattle & Daub
On the Bayou, Open Mic Comedy w/host The Original Darryl
Brewtown Eatery, Scotch and Soda
Hill
Brock’s River Walk Tavern & Grill (Fort Atkinson), 5 Card
Rounding Third Bar and Grill, World’s Funniest Free Comedy
Studs
Show
Cactus Club, TUNIC w/Ex Nuns, Slow Walker & Sex Scenes
Transfer Pizzeria Cafe, Martini Jazz Lounge
Cafe Carpe (Fort Atkinson), The Home Fires
Up & Under Pub, A No Vacancy Comedy Open Mic
Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: Vortis w/Lack Of Reason (8pm);
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 23
DJ: Quixotic Control (10pm) Club Garibaldi, Jake “The Snake” Roberts Comedy Show
Ally’s Bistro (Menomonee Falls), CP & Stoll w/Chris Peppas
ComedySportz Milwaukee, ComedySportz Milwaukee!
& Jeff Stoll
Company Brewing, The R&B, Soul & Trap Show w/Bizzon,
American Legion Post #399 (Okauchee), The 45’s
Dripsweat & Nustylez
American Legion Post #449 (Brookfield), Larry Lynne Band
Cue Club of Wisconsin (Waukesha), Off Tha Hook
(6:30pm)
Hilton Milwaukee City Center, Vocals & Keys
Angelo’s Piano Lounge, Julie’s Piano Karaoke
Jazz Estate, Atlantis Quartet (8pm), Late Night Session: Alec
Anodyne Coffee , Third Coast Blues Collective: Blues Genes w/
Aldred Quartet (11:30pm)
The Kochs, Koenigs & Libans
Kick Switch Bar And Grill (Okauchee), Andrew Gelles
Cactus Club, Thunderbird Wine Presents: Guerrilla Ghost re-
Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, The Esquires w/Vincent Chambers
cord release, Devils Teeth, Taiyamo Denku, Taj Raiden, Nicholas
& The Vinsanity Band, Tim & April Bell, Dee Burks & Tammy
Elert & Dope Folks’ DJs
Moore, & host Tony Whitehead
Cafe Carpe (Fort Atkinson), Hayward Williams
Mason Street Grill, Jonathan Wade Trio (6pm)
Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: Fly & The Swatters w/Suicide
Matty’s Bar & Grille (New Berlin), Fall Music: Joe Kadlec
Picnic (8pm); DJ: Fazio (10pm)
Mezcalero Restaurant, Larry Lynne Band
Clarke Hotel (Waukesha), Dick Eliot Jazz Guitar (6pm)
Miramar Theatre, Modestep w/D-Ski
Club Garibaldi, Theyguanus w/Browns Crew
MugZ’s Pub and Grill (Muskego), Robert Allen Jr. Band
ComedySportz Milwaukee, ComedySportz Milwaukee!
Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Katie Mack & The
Company Brewing, De La Buena w/DJ Andy Noble
Moan (9pm), In the Fire Pit: Mt. Olive (9pm)
County Clare Irish Inn & Pub, Traditional Irish Ceilidh Session
Public Table, Katie Mack
Golden Mast Inn, Joe Kadlec (6pm)
Rave / Eagles Club, Banda El Recodo / Banda Los Recoditos
Iron Mike’s (Franklin), Open Jam Session w/Steve Nitros &
(all-ages, 9pm)
Friends
Riverside Theater, Jurassic Park in Concert – Performed by
Ixonia Pub, Robert Allen Jr. Band
The MSO
Jazz Estate, John Christensen CD release (8pm), Late Night
Route 20 Outhouse (Sturtevant), Mike Toomey Christmas
Session: Matthew Rotker-Lynn (11:30pm)
Special (ages 18-plus, 8:30pm)
Lakefront Brewery, Brewhaus Polka Kings (5:30pm)
Shank Hall, The R&B Cadets
Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Duzt w/Liam O’Brien
Silver Spring House, “Bluz & BBQ” w/Rick Holmes & guest
Lucky Chance, 4th Fridays: Black Friday/Blow Out Open Jam
The Back Room at Colectivo, Found Footage Festival
Party - Craig Omick & Friends All Star Open Jam w/Jeff Arnold,
The Cheel (Thiensville), Steve Cohen, Peter Roller & Marc
Ricky Orta Jr. & Matty Jay
Wilson
Mamie’s, Marvelous Mack
The Packing House Restaurant, Joe Jordan & The Soul Trio
Mason Street Grill, Phil Seed Trio (6pm)
(6:30pm)
Mezcalero Restaurant, Scatttered Band
Trinity Three Irish Pubs, Dan Harvey w/DJ Zovo
Miller High Life Theatre, The 3 Kingz Tour: Yo Gotti, Jeezy, and
Up & Under Pub, Thee Gratedul Dub Band
Moneybagg Yo
Westallion Brewing Company, Derek Byrne & Paddygrass
Miramar Theatre, Back To Basics: The Widdler x Pushloop,
Yardarm Bar and Grill (Racine), The Blues Disciples (6:30pm)
Casual Conversation & Romy Moose Lodge 49, Tomm Lehnigk
SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 25
Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Eric Barbieri Acoustic
Angelo’s Piano Lounge, Live Karaoke w/Julie Brandenburg
Duo (9pm), In the Fire Pit: Terry Sims Band (9pm)
Cactus Club, Hyborian w/Bummer (5pm), Milwaukee Record
Rave / Eagles Club, Bad Bunny (all-ages, 8pm), Pale Waves w/
Halftime Show: Hot Coffin (7pm)
Kailee Morgue & The Candescents (all-ages, 8pm)
Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: Derek Pritzl & Friends (8pm); DJ:
Riverside Theater, Love Actually in Concert – Performed by
Sextor (10pm)
The MSO
Dugout 54, Dugout 54 Sunday Open Jam
Route 20 Outhouse (Sturtevant), Thunderstruck AC/DC Tribute
Riverside Theater, Jurassic Park in Concert – Performed by
(ages 18-plus, 8:30pm)
The MSO
Shank Hall, The R&B Cadets
Rounding Third Bar and Grill, The Dangerously Strong
Site 1A, Mark Farina
Comedy Open Mic
The Back Room at Colectivo, David Huckfelt (of The Pines) &
Sunset Grill Pewaukee, Full Band Open Jam w/host Tallan
Buffalo Gospel (Trio) w/Nickel&Rose
Noble Latz (4pm)
The Packing House Restaurant, Tracy Hannemann Group
The Packing House Restaurant, Jazz Unlimited Jazz Jam:
(6:30pm)
Adekola Adedapo Quartet (1pm)
Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Poet’s Monday w/host Timothy Kloss & featured reader Benjamin Gray (sign-up 7:30pm, 8-11pm) Mason Street Grill, Joel Burt Duo (5:30pm) Paulie’s Pub and Eatery, Open Jam: Christopher John & Friends w/featured band Shank Hall, Band of Friends (A Celebration of Rory Gallagher) The Astor Cafe & Pub, The Chris Hanson Band w/Robin Pluer (6:30pm) Turner Hall Ballroom, “The Night Before Christmas” Original Radio Play (6:30pm) Up & Under Pub, Open Mic w/Marshall McGhee and the Wanderers
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 27 Jazz Estate, MYSO Jam Session Kim’s Lakeside (Pewaukee), Open Jam w/host Big MUrFF & the Divers Mamie’s, Open Blues Jam w/Stokes Mason Street Grill, Jamie Breiwick Group (5:30pm) McAuliffe’s Pub (Racine), Jim Yorgan Sextet Miramar Theatre, Tuesday Open Mic w/host Sandy Weisto (sign-up 7:30pm, all-ages) Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Al White (4pm) Rave / Eagles Club, Bastille w/Young The Giant, Bishop Briggs & Grandson (all-ages, 7pm) Riverside Theater, Hip Hop Nutcracker w/Kurtis Blow Riverwest Jazz Gallery Center for the Arts, Jazz Jam Session Shank Hall, Otep, The World Over Silver Spring House, Rick Holmes Plays the Blues Transfer Pizzeria Cafe, Transfer House Band w/Dennis Fermenich Turner Hall Ballroom, Celeste Barber
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 28 Cactus Club, Victor Villarreal-Cap’n Jazz/Owls Caroline’s Jazz Club, Jimi Schutte American Blues Conway’s Smokin’ Bar & Grill, Open Jam w/Big Wisconsin Johnson Good City Brewing, Milwaukee Comedy Presents Craft Brew Comedy! High Dive, The Voodoohoney Pirates Hudson Business Lounge and Cafe, Jazz at Noon: Don Linke and Friends Iron Mike’s (Franklin), B Lee Nelson Acoustic Jam Jazz Estate, MRS. FUN “Truth” CD release Kochanski’s Concertina Beer Hall, Polka Open Jam Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Acoustic Open Stage w/feature Josh Trimble (sign-up 8:30pm, start 9pm) Mason Street Grill, Jamie Breiwick Group (5:30pm) Mezcalero Restaurant, The Jammers Paulie’s Field Trip, Wednesday Night Afterparty w/Dave Wacker & guests Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Al White Shank Hall, Cedric Burnside Sunset Grill Pewaukee, Robert Allen Jr. & Friends (6pm) Tally’s Tap & Eatery (Waukesha), Tomm Lehnigk The Cheel (Thiensville), Absinthe Minded Trio (6:30pm) The Packing House Restaurant, Carmen Nickerson & Kostia Efimov (6pm) Turner Hall Ballroom, JD McPherson (and his band) Holiday Show!
Up & Under Pub, Audio is Rehab 36 | N O V E M B E R 2 2 , 2 0 1 8
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TEQUILA, TACOS & TACKY SWEATERS Merriment Social Tuesday, December 11 5:30-9pm • $25 shepherdtickets.com THIS IS A 21+ EVENT.
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11/22 No 414 Live because of Thanksgiving
11/29 Cashfire Sunset
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::SPORTS When It All Goes Bad ::BY PAUL NOONAN
T
he Green Bay Packers, on paper, aren’t bad. Aaron Rodgers is having a pretty good season on paper. The young receivers have come along nicely on paper. They have a burgeoning defense that has taken a step forward almost every week. They can, occasionally, score like a vintage Rodgers team. They can, occasionally, shut down opposing passing games. They entered the week leading the league in sacks. On a play-to-play basis, the Packers have been better than their record, without question, but not all plays are created equally. Third down plays and fourth down plays count for more. Turnovers count for more. Certain penalties count for more. We tend to focus on “big plays” as exciting plays—like turnovers or huge bombs—but in truth the biggest plays in any given game are simple conversions. And that is where we begin our story, because this game was the Packer season in a nutshell. In some ways it was the last five years of Packer games in a nutshell. Green Bay faced one of their most annoying (how else to describe the Seahawks?) opponents, and while not everything went wrong, every typical Mike McCarthy-era Packer thing went wrong.
The Unseen Turnovers Aaron Rodgers was 21/30 for 330 yards, two touchdowns, and of course, no interceptions. Aaron Rodgers almost never throws interceptions and has only one interception on the season. He is famously careful with the ball, but that caution comes at a cost, and it’s bigger than most people realize. While Rodgers has always been careful, he also used to hit more big and medium-length plays. Since the end of the 2014 season Rodgers’ yards per attempt has cratered, and big plays a,re less frequent. Against Seattle, Rodgers was sensational on three bombs, the biggest of which resulted in a 54-yard touchdown to rookie TE Robert Tonyan, but those three bombs made up almost half of his yardage for the game, meaning that on his 18 other completions, he was quite pedestrian. Because of that, the team had trouble sustaining drives. When we talk about quarterback turnovers, we focus on interceptions, but that’s a bit myopic, especially considering how much of the offense the quarterback controls. Rodgers is among the league leaders in sacks taken, and while you might be tempted to blame the line for that fact (and sometimes they deserve it), Rodgers is the primary culprit. He loves to hold the ball, waiting for the big play, and he is also willing to take a sack instead of throwing a risky pass, but while many sacks are preferable to interceptions, third down sacks are a different story. Fiftysix percent of Rodgers’ sacks have occurred on third or fourth down, and while sacks on third down are common (because passing on third down is common), Russell Wilson, who also takes a lot of sacks (32 so far this season, to Rodgers’ 30) has been sacked on third or fourth down just 43% of the time. Indeed, in this game, Rodgers was sacked four times
38 | N O V E M B E R 2 2 , 2 0 1 8
on third down, killing several promising drives. Wilson was never sacked on third down, and as a result, Seattle converted six of 15 opportunities. The Packers converted just three of 11 third downs. Rodgers is on pace to take 48 sacks, which wouldn’t be a career high, but would still be a lot. However, there’s reason to think that raw number understates the severity of the situation. Rodgers is on pace for just 237 rushing yards, which would be his lowest 16-game total since 2008, and he’s averaging just 5.1 yards per carry, his lowest since the injury-shortened 2013 season. Rodgers is hitting the age where nagging injuries start to build up and mobility fades. He’s already suffered a few leg injuries this year, and it’s likely his mobility and escapability will continue to decline. Mobility is a big part of his game, and in 2016, his exceptional mobility allowed him to throw a league-leading 40 touchdown passes despite a mediocre 7.3 yards per
MCCARTHY WILL STILL CALL THE OCCASIONAL BRILLIANT PLAY AS WELL, AS HE DID ON A NIFTY PASS TO MARCEDES LEWIS LAST WEEK. BUT HIS TEAMS JUST CAN’T SEEM TO HELP SHOOTING THEMSELVES IN THE FOOT, AND HIS LATE-GAME DECISIONMAKING IS OFTEN LAUGHABLE.
ball on fourth down this season, he has completed one pass in seven attempts, plus a sack, with the lone completion being a 17-yard gain to Davante Adams against the Lions. Those third down sacks, fourth down failures and fumbles add up. In the aggregate, they are just as devastating as the occasional interception, and if Rodgers doesn’t start getting the ball out faster, even at added risk, he will continue hurting the team. The Packers picked up three first downs in the entire second half, and that is why they lost. But hey, at least Rodgers didn’t throw an interception.
Mike McCarthy and the Numbers Mike McCarthy sometimes gets a bum rap. He’s not a great coach, but he is aggressive in going for fourth downs, and aggressive with his run/pass balance. He will still call the occasional brilliant play as well, as he did on a nifty pass to Marcedes Lewis last week. But his teams just can’t seem to help shooting themselves in the foot, and his late-game decision-making is often laughable. After this terrible throw from Rodgers made it fourth and two late in the game, McCarthy decided to punt instead of going for it. This was a terrible decision for a thousand different reasons. First of all, they were only in this situation because the Packers waste more timeouts than any other team in football. With only one timeout remaining, there was a good chance that Seattle would be able to grind the remainder of the clock, and that’s exactly what happened. The decision was made even worse by the fact that both Mike Daniels and Kenny Clark, by far the team’s best run-stuffing defensive linemen, were injured, and not available to load up against the run. The Packers should be able to pick up two yards, and the fact that Aaron Jones has now come into his own means that you don’t even necessarily have to pass. One of the two Aarons has a better chance at converting a short fourth down than the defense does at stopping a run-centered attack without their run-stoppers.
Official Incompetence Despite all of their flaws, the Packers would still be having a very good season if NFL refs would actually do a decent job calling the game. Trevor Davis lost a huge kick return to a phantom block in the back penalty, and late in the game, Tyler Lockett was awarded a catch on a ball that he clearly dropped. There were several other questionable penalties as well, and while Seattle was penalized its fair share, mostly for obvious false starts, the penalties against Green Bay were devastating, occurring in high-leverage situations and costing them enormous yardage. In a closely fought three-point game, the officials made all the difference in the world.
One Last Thing attempt. With Rodgers’ mobility hampered this season, the Packers have struggled in the red zone where he is only completing 44% of his passes. The field shrinks as you approach the end zone, and Rodgers’ ability to buy time, not panic, and wait for receivers to come open was once unparalleled. He now has to throw the ball earlier or attempt low-percentage body throws to Jimmy Graham, and his success rate has plummeted as a result. Rodgers may not throw picks, but he’s tied for sixth among QBs with six fumbles. And, when throwing the
One of McCarthy’s biggest flaws is telegraphing a play. He’s very likely to run from running formations, pass out of passing formations and generally telling the defense exactly what is about to happen. At least twice in this game, Davante Adams was targeted on deep passes and came out of the game for the next play. On both occasions, McCarthy ran the ball up the gut with Aaron Jones. On both occasions, the Seahawks had no fear of the Packer passing game without Adams and easily snuffed out the run. Those were wasted, costly plays, and a better coach would never have run them.
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::ONTHECOUCH
Something bugging you? Find out what the Shrink thinks
What to Do with Those Icky InLaws?
T
his sounds really bad, but I can’t stand my in-laws. They’re not horrible people or anything but it’s hard for me to be around them because my family interacts so differently. I get resentful because his family lives in town and mine doesn’t, so we end up spending a ridiculous amount of time with them. I can’t be completely honest with my husband about how I feel—these are “his people” and he likes them. The holidays are here again, and I don’t know how I can survive all of the family events. Help!
The Shrink Replies
Sorry to hear you have icky in-laws. It’s really difficult to merge into another family and just never quite feel comfortable there. But, for the sake of your beloved, you have to buck up and be a trouper. Doing so without resentment, though, is the challenge. Your problem is a common one and the holidays often trigger the same old annual arguments. This time of year is stressful enough, with the added busyness of social opportunities/obligations and too many things to do in too little time, so discord in the family feels especially onerous. Here are some things to consider: Logistics are forever. The “in town” and “out of town” family scenario is challenging on many fronts and can create impasses between partners. In your case, I’ll bet there’s a running tally sheet in your head tracking the imbalance of time spent with “his people” vs. those that require extra time and effort to get to, i.e. “your people.” Therein lies the simmering resentment. It may not be fair but it’s the geographical hand you’ve been dealt. Make your first priority accepting and dealing with it with a new attitude. The logistics may never change, but you can. Everything is negotiable. Some things are mandatory, while others can be optional. Not every family get-together has to include you (or your spouse). After the holiday dust settles, get out the calendar for the upcoming year and plot out all of the annual events for both sides of the family. Then tag each one “Mandatory for Both” (you both need to show up), “Mandatory for One” (do SHEPHERD EXPRESS
you always need to go to Aunt Trixie’s annual Pie Party?) or “Optional” (you graciously release each other from any obligation to participate but you’re always welcome to attend.) Hint: have lots of Optionals but save your Mandatories for the most important events. Since his family get-togethers might happen on a more frequent, casual basis, these spontaneous gatherings may fall into the Optional category. That means you get a pass, but you have to be willing to take it. He may always say “I wish you’d come along, honey…”, so it’s on you to stick to your guns and opt out in favor of taking some ‘me time.’ Honesty is the best policy. You’re not as good as you think at hiding your feelings about the in-laws. While you’ve probably narrowly averted blurting out things like “Your family is insufferably boring/ judgmental,” he knows that’s what you think. Maybe he’s not so crazy about your gang, either. There’s a middle ground between brutal honesty and stuffing your feelings. While these aren’t your favorite people to hang with, maybe you can come up with some ideas on how to manage the “Mandatory” events differently and even enlist his help. Can he check on you (rescue you?) when you disappear into the kitchen for the women’s gab-fest about things you don’t particularly care about? How about taking two cars to the party and excusing yourself a bit early? Try being a bit more forthcoming with him about your discomfort without making it about his people but, rather, about how you feel like you just don’t fit in. Maybe, if you’re a little more vulnerable and candid, he can understand you better and try to help you make it through these ordeals without getting defensive and thinking you’re attacking his family. If he feels uncomfortable about how to explain your absences, work together to craft an explanation that both of you can live with. Jean-Paul Sartre famously wrote: “Hell is other people.” Sometimes it really does seem that way, right? But other people also bring us joy (not to mention some good, juicy stories) and hold up mirrors for us to see our own blind spots. So, assuming you love your husband, you have to figure out a way to, literally, bring your best self to the party, not only for his sake but also for your own peace of mind and spirit. Take some time before these events to quiet yourself a bit and wrap your head around the notion that even people who annoy us are just living life and trying to do the best they can. Everybody is uncomfortable in some way. Nobody’s perfect. Underneath it all, they may be more like you than you think. As you try to rework this dynamic to participate more on your own terms, also remember that digging in and holding out for the “win” doesn’t exactly promote harmony and happy coexistence. Give yourself the gift of consciously trying to be less resentful going forward. On the Couch is written by a licensed mental health professional. Her advice is not meant as a substitute for mental health care. Send your questions to onthecouch@shepex.com. Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n
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PUBLIC SALE Notice of Public Sale Pioneer Storage 122 N. Pt. Washington Road, Grafton, WI 53024 December 7th at 9am Bidding is on complete contents of unit. Owner: Nicolas Christiansen Contents: Toys, Couch, Table, Lamp, Bed frame, Mattress, Boxes, Bike Owner: John Mabry Contents: Bed Frame, headboard/footboard, Boxes, Mattress MyStorageHome.com Notice of Public Sale Mequon Storage 6911 West Donges Bay Road, Mequon, WI 53092 December 7th at 9:30am Bidding is on complete contents of unit. Owner: Toni Markiewicz Contents: Toys, Furniture, Boxes Owner: Mary Brown Contents: Washer, Dryer, Couch, Table, Chair, Side Table, Mattress, Boxes, Vacuum MyStorageHome.com
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N O V E M B E R 2 2 , 2 0 1 8 | 39
EGO TRIP
THEME CROSSWORD
By James Barrick
PSYCHO SUDOKU! “Kaidoku”
Each of the 26 letters of the alphabet is represented in this grid by a number between 1 and 26. Using letter frequency, word-pattern recognition, and the numbers as your guides, fill in the grid with well-known English words (HINT: since a Q is always followed by a U, try hunting down the Q first). Only lowercase, unhyphenated words are allowed in kaidoku, so you won’t see anything like STOCKHOLM or LONG-LOST in here (but you might see AFGHAN, since it has an uncapitalized meaning, too). Now stop wasting my precious time and SOLVE! psychosudoku@gmail.com 1 2 14
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ACROSS 1. Wag 5. Dells 10. Elephant king 15. Cattle, archaically 19. Spiny-leaved plant 20. Narrow, then flared: Hyph. 21. Winged 22. “East of —” 23. Amour propre: Hyph. 25. Soi-disant: Hyph. 27. Surpassed 28. Ryan or Castle 30. Candles 31. — beer 32. Stage talk 33. Diva’s specialty 34. Dealer in knitwear 37. Plan 38. First to reach the South Pole 42. Aids 43. Axiomatic: Hyph. 46. Biblical priest 47. Part 48. Spar on a ship 49. Glaze 50. Flutter 51. Will Ferrell film 52. Swiftly 53. Scamper 54. — — broke 55. State wrongly 57. Reads in haste 58. Underworld goddess 59. Genus of moths 60. Goof 61. Scull cavity 62. TV’s Mr. Monk 64. Scenes 66. Strokes lightly 69. Chamfer 70. Goatlike creature 71. Cap 40 | N O V E M B E R 2 2 , 2 0 1 8
72. Final: Abbr. 73. Settled after flight 74. Goods 75. Adjusted 76. — -dieu 77. Tic- — -toe 78. Lawful force: Hyph. 80. Pee Wee of baseball 81. Watches 83. — meridiem 84. Step or Jacob’s 85. Confederate 86. Sprinkles 88. Flat round bread 89. Jacket 92. Paunch 93. Mineral type 97. Abnegation: Hyph. 99. Semiautomatic gun: Hyph. 101. Bolus 102. Some coins 103. Early egg 104. Outbuilding 105. Do in 106. Irritable 107. Specified 108. Dec. 31st word DOWN 1. Example 2. Fish sauce 3. Croissant 4. Unquestionable 5. School in Poughkeepsie 6. Change 7. Told a tale 8. Compass pt. 9. Like a cheese, perhaps 10. Headquartered 11. Coeur d’— 12. Bundle 13. DOJ org. 14. Made like new, as a racket
15. ATM part 16. Lazy 17. — do-well 18. Tips 24. Blades for fencers 26. Pollute 29. Customary practice 32. “Kate & —” 33. Catkin 34. Quarters for wives 35. Old Greek coins 36. Like a market, perhaps: Hyph. 37. Nez — 38. Later, amigo! 39. Confident: Hyph. 40. George or T.S. 41. Chile saltpeter 43. Gaiters 44. Clergymen 45. Symbol 48. Kitchen item 50. Prepare to shoot 52. Of the ears 53. Prison guard 54. Ringed-tail animal 56. Hush 57. Having quills 58. Put on the payroll 61. Wraparound garment 62. Lessen
63. Holdup 64. Laborers of old 65. Angered 66. Perfume ceremonially 67. Beethoven’s girl 68. Direct 70. Witty remark 71. Hits a ball 74. Trim: Hyph. 75. “Enoch Arden” poet 76. Cycle rickshaws 78. — days 79. Weaken 80. Proportion 82. Regular at a tavern 84. Loafed 86. Respond 87. Back street 88. Ransack 89. Deadly creatures 90. Young or Diamond 91. — podrida 92. Wastebaskets 93. Renewal target 94. Call it — — 95. Gull 96. Sea eagle 98. Word in wedding announcements 100. Stowe’s Little —
Solution to last week’s puzzle
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11/15 Solution
WORD FIND This is a theme puzzle with the subject stated below. Find the listed words in the grid. (They may run in any direction but always in a straight line. Some letters are used more than once.) Ring each word as you find it and when you have completed the puzzle, there will be 20 letters left over. They spell out the alternative theme of the puzzle.
Get away Solution: 20 Letters
© 2018 Australian Word Games Dist. by Creators Syndicate Inc.
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Accommodation Alps Angle Annexe Ascot Aspen Aura Baking Bass Bay Beach Beer Bowral Bus Cinema
Coast Colo Dam Darwin Drift Dunk Eat Eldon Fun Gem Hat Iluka Innisfail Jog Kakadu
Lake Manly Maps Maya Molle Nap Newell Ocean Ouse Parks Perth Rest Rig Rocks Rods
Sand Sea Silence Snow Sunburn Surf Tan Top Trip Urunga Van View
11/15 Solution: Late afternoon snack time SHEPHERD EXPRESS
Solution: Let's escape the rat race
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Creators Syndicate 737 3rd Street • Hermosa Beach, CA 90254 310-337-7003 • info@creators.com
Date: 11/22/18
::FREEWILLASTROLOGY ::BY ROB BREZSNY SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “You have two ways to live your life,” writes spiritual teacher Joseph Vitale, “from memory or inspiration.” In other words, you can take your cues about how to live your life from what happened in the past, or else you can make your decisions based on what you’re excited to do and become in the future. According to my analysis, the next ten months will be an excellent time for you to fully embrace the latter approach. And it all starts now. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You’ve always got more help available than you imagine, and that’s especially true these days. Both people you know and people you don’t know may come to your assistance and offer extra support—especially if you meet two conditions: 1. you sincerely believe you deserve their assistance and support; 2. you clearly ask for their assistance and support. Now here’s more good news about the help that’s available. Whether or not you believe in spiritual beings, they, too, are primed to offer blessings and resources. If you don’t believe in their existence, I invite you to pretend you do and see what happens. If you do believe in them, formulate clear requests for what you’d like them to offer you. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In one of his poems, Arthur Rimbaud extolled the exquisite evenings when the mist soaked his face as he strolled, and he sipped that heavenly dew till he was drunk. Was he speaking literally or metaphorically? Probably both, if I know Rimbaud. Anyway, Aquarius, I’d love for you to engage in similar exploits. What are some natural adventures that might intoxicate you? What simple pleasures may alter your consciousness, nudging you free of its habits? Meditate with sweet abandon on how to free yourself through the power of play and the imagination. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): It’s illegal to hunt animals in Kenya. But members of the Dorobo tribe circumvent the law to provide food for their families. As three or more Dorobo men wander out on the savanna, they wait for hungry lions to kill a wildebeest or other creature. Then they stride toward the feasting beasts in a calm show of force until the predators run away in confusion. The brave scavengers swoop in and swiftly remove a portion of the wildebeest, then coolly walk away, leaving plenty for the lions when they return to their meal. I bring this scene to your attention, Pisces, because I suspect that in the coming weeks you will have similar levels of courage and poise as you go after what you want. ARIES (March 21-April 19): In his autobiography On the Move, neurologist Oliver Sacks praised his friend Jerry’s curiosity and knowledge. “Jerry has one of the most spacious, thoughtful minds I have ever encountered, with a vast base of knowledge of every sort,” wrote Sacks, “but it is a base under continual questioning and scrutiny.” So willing was Jerry to question and re-evaluate his own assumptions that Sacks said he had “seen his friend suddenly stop in mid-sentence and say, ‘I no longer believe what I was about to say.’” That’s the gold standard to which I hope you will aspire in the coming weeks, Aries. As bright and articulate as you’ll be, you will have an even higher calling to expand your mind through continual questioning. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In recent years, a few pioneers have gotten microchips implanted under their skin. These technological marvels enable them to open doors and turn on lights with merely a wave of their hands, or receive up-to-the-minute readings on what’s transpiring inside their bodies. Now an additional frontier has arisen: people using do-it-yourself kits to experiment on their own DNA. For example, some have tweaked their genes so their bodies create more muscle than is natural. I would love for you to change yourself around in the coming weeks, Taurus, but not in these particular ways. I’d rather see you do subtle psychological and spiritual work. The astrological omens suggest it’s a favorable time for focused self-transformation. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Are you smart enough to take advantage of the fact that your best relationships would benefit from bursts of innovative energy in the coming weeks?
SHEPHERD EXPRESS
Are you brave enough to banish the ghost that still haunts your romantic life? Do you have the moxie to explore frontiers with collaborators who play fair and know how to have fun? Will you summon the curiosity and initiative to learn new strategies about how to enhance your approach to intimacy? I’ll answer those questions in your behalf: yes, yes, yes, and yes. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Would you agree with me that there are both boring, tiresome problems and fun, interesting problems? If so, read on. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you’re at a fork in your path where you could either get further involved with a boring, tiresome problem or else a fun, interesting one. (I think you’ll have to engage with one or the other.) Of course, I’m rooting for you to proactively wrangle with the fun, interesting one. Here’s timely inspiration from Cancerian author John W. Gardner: “We are continually faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems.” LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The Jharia Coalfield in eastern India is a 110-square-mile reserve of underground coal. In some places, it’s on fire, and has been burning for over a hundred years. This isn’t a good thing. It’s wasteful and causes pollution. But now I’ll ask you to put aside that scenario, and imagine a more benevolent kind of steadily burning fire: a splendor in your soul that never stops radiating warmth and light; that draws from an inexhaustible source of fuel; that is a constant source of strength and courage and power. I’m happy to tell you that the coming months will be a favorable time to establish and nurture this eternal flame. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Marilyn Monroe, Georgia O’Keeffe, and President Franklin Roosevelt were direct descendants of the pilgrims who sailed from England to the New World on the famous Mayflower ship in 1620. I, on the other hand, am a direct descendant of a nineteenthcentury Slovakian coal miner who toiled in the underground darkness. What about you, Virgo? Now would be a rich and provocative time to reconnect with your roots; to remember where your people originated; to explore the heritage that served as the matrix from which you sprouted. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): According to researchers who study animal behavior at two Italian universities, chickens can do arithmetic. The birds don’t even need to be trained; the skill seems to be innate. (Read details here: tinyurl.com/ ChickensDoMath.) I’m wondering whether chickens born under the sign of Libra might even be able to do algebra in the coming weeks. According to my assessment of the astrological omens, the mental acuity of many Libran creatures will be at a peak. How will you use your enhanced intelligence? SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In March 2005, far more people than usual won big money in a regional Powerball lottery in the U.S. The average for each draw is four winners, but on this special occasion, 110 players were awarded at least $100,000 and as much as $500,000. The reason for the anomaly seemed to have been an oracle that appeared in a number of widely distributed fortune cookies. It provided five of the six winning numbers. Inspired by this crazy stroke of good fortune, and in accordance with the favorable financial omens now coming to bear on you, I hereby offer you six numbers to use as your lucky charms. Will they help you win a game of chance? I can’t be sure. At the very least, they will titillate and massage the part of your psyche that is magnetic to wealth. Here they are: 37. 16. 58. 62. 82. 91. Homework: How could you change yourself in order to get more of the love you want? Go to Freewillastrology.com; click on “Email Rob.”
Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes and Daily Text Message Horoscopes. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.
::NEWS OF THE WEIRD ::BY THE EDITORS OF ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION
‘Luxurious’ Living at 49
A
nother birthday staring you down? Perhaps you can follow the lead of a man in the Netherlands who has launched a legal battle in the city of Arnhem to change his age from 69 to 49. The Dutch “positivity trainer” told BBC News that he feels discriminated against both in the career realm and on Tinder. “When I am on Tinder, and it says I’m 69, I don’t get an answer,” Emile Ratelband said. “When I’m 49, with the face I have, I will be in a luxurious position.” He also describes himself as a “young god.” His case has yet to be decided.
Real Fake News Coming soon from the state-run news agency Xinhua in China: the first artificial intelligence anchorman. “Artificial Intelligence Anchor” debuted at the World Internet Conference in Wuzhen, China, on Wednesday, Nov. 7. The virtual host, based on images of human news broadcasters, can have real-time news typed into its system even while it’s on the air. A synthesized voice reads the script. Xinhua told Time that its new anchor can work “24 hours a day... reducing news production costs and improving efficiency.”
Powerful ‘shrooms! Scientists at the Stevens Institute of Technology in New Jersey have created a mushroom that can produce electricity using light, Discover magazine reports. Using common button mushrooms, cyanobacteria (very adept at photosynthesis) and graphene nanoribbons (to make electrodes to transport the electricity), researchers were able to produce harvestable electricity by shining a light on their “bionic mushroom.” While the amount of electricity created was small, the team noted the experiment demonstrated an “environmentfriendly and green source of photosynthetic bioelectricity.”
Drone Delinquency On Monday, Nov. 12, a group of cyclists in Hustopece, Czech Republic, enjoyed a sunny afternoon bike riding to a local landmark known as Lookout Tower, reported United Press International. Taking in the view from the top of the tower, they saw a drone flying
around and took video of it, capturing the moment when the drone picked up one of their bicycles from the ground and flew away with it. One of the cyclists threw his helmet at the drone as it flew off, and the others ran down the tower’s steps to chase the drone on foot. The drone eventually dropped the bike unceremoniously a few hundred feet from the tower.
Mint Condition In North College Hill, Ohio, on Tuesday, Nov. 6, Noel Hines’ criminal love for thin mint cookies finally caught up with her when she was arrested for stealing “a large order of Girl Scout cookies” last March, Fox News reported. North College Hill police said Hines took delivery of the cookies, valued at more than $1,600 and intended for a local Girl Scout troop, and never returned or paid for them. When Hines showed up at the town’s Mayors Court on an unrelated matter, police arrested her, then posted on Facebook, “That’s the way the cookie crumbles.”
Turk-ish Terrorism Perhaps in an effort to escape its likely fate, a turkey in Shoshone, Idaho, was rounded up by police on Wednesday, Nov. 7, after “terrorizing the neighborhood” around North Fir Street. United Press International reported the bird was detained at a local petting zoo pending the owner’s coming forward to claim it.
Hot for Teacher Administrators at Spalding Grammar School in Spalding, England, introduced a new policy this year, banning “sixth-formers” (i.e. high school students) from carrying book bags between classes. The school felt the heavy bags were causing injury to students and encouraged them to carry their books in their arms instead. But Jacob Ford, 17, disagreed, reported Metro News, and made his point by carrying his books in a microwave oven, for which he received a two-day suspension. Head teacher Steven Wilkinson huffed, “We have a student who has behaved in an increasingly inappropriate way, actions the likes of which I have never witnessed, and who has been sanctioned entirely in line with the school’s policies.” But Ford’s mother, Tracy, backed up her son’s protest: “I’m very proud of him for standing up for something he believes in. Microwave or no microwave.” © 2018 ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION N O V E M B E R 2 2 , 2 0 1 8 | 41
::ARTFORART’SSAKE
The Baste Land ::BY ART KUMBALEK
I
’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, here we are, another Thanksgiving for crying out loud. Didn’t we just have one last year, what the fock? What more can I say, so stop me, or don’t, if you’ve heard this before that you shouldn’t expect much of an essay this week from me for your Thanksgiving-holiday needs, no sir. I don’t have time to self-importantly gasbag some kind of treacly tripe about what we all have to be thankful for. My personal Thankful List runs from A to A, with A being that I’m thankful I’m not serving hard time with no chance for parole. Although I could be convinced to be thankful that our focking Packers still have a chance to win six, seven games total this season—eight is a little optimistic for my blood—but I do think they’re a lock for third place in their division, I kid you not. So no essay ’cause I got to get to the store and pick up fixings for my Thanksgiving feast, for which I enjoy boiling up a nice ring baloney because I cannot eat turkey out of respect for our Founding Fathers who dang near made it our national bird for christ sakes—I’m guessing because of the turkey’s much ballyhooed beauty and intelligence, what the fock. And I guess had they made that decision, we would now be basting and carving the traditional Thanksgiving eagle come the fourth Thursday each November. Well, maybe not necessarily the eagle, but whatever bird it would be (tufted titmouse?), it sure as hell wouldn’t be the turkey ’cause you just don’t cram a thermometer up the butt of the national bird, I don’t care who you are. But if it were to be the eagle for Thanksgiving, you know what? I got a sneaking hunch that it doesn’t taste just like a chicken, no sir. In fact, I got a funny feeling that the eagle tastes just like a woman’s saddle shoe, size seven, shoelace included. And so I guess I could be thankful that the Founding Fathers failed to make the gobbler our nation’s fowl symbol for all that’s noble and strong about our country. Besides, the turkey carries enough symbolic weight as it is, witnessed by the fact that we elect so damn many of them to Congress every couple years.
42 | N O V E M B E R 2 2 , 2 0 1 8
Also no essay since it’s been my experience that regular readers aren’t up to navigating my little section of this here back page this time of year anyways on account of either being struck down by the dropsies from the too-much holiday feasting or they’re busy navigating their way out of county jail due to the aggravated battery charge acquired right before the pumpkin pie was served at the extended-family Thanksgiving get-together. Yeah, I know, sometimes the in-laws really do deserve what’s coming to them, civil ordinance be damned, what the fock. But before I go, it’s a yearly tradition of mine to provide to those of you’s who indeed may read this page before trotting off to your holiday obligation, a little something you can take along and share at your gathering, so you don’t just show up empty-handed as the free-loading fockstick your relatives, friends and acquaintances have come to expect, if not dread. So if you’re too damn lazy or depressed to bring a dish to pass, a humorous story would be a nice alternative, ain’a? So a bunch of preachers are having a little ecumenical confab in the rectory of a Catholic priest. Just as they’re silently girding up to air out some of their differences, the good father offers each of them a whiskey to ease tensions, to clear the air of religious napalm, so to speak. “Don’t mind if I do, thanks,” says the Methodist vicar, who belts down a good three fingers of Wild Turkey. “And you?” asks the priest of the fire-and-brimstone fundamentalist Baptist Bible-thumper. “What?!?!!” shouts the born-againer, shocked to his core. “Drink alcohol?! I’d rather debauch in a whorehouse!” At this, the Methodist spits his whiskey back into the glass and hollers, “Whoa, Nellie! You mean we get a choice?” Ba-ding! OK, “’nuff said,” ain’a, except to say that wherever you find yourself this Thanksgiving time of year, god speed and remember to fight the good fight, ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.
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18+ N OV E M B E R 2 2 , 2 0 1 8 | 43
“Absolutely
THE NO. 1 SHOW in the world.”
—Kenn Wells, former lead dancer of the English National Ballet
“Demonstrating the highest realm in arts.” —Chi Cao, principal dancer of Birmingham Royal Ballet
“I’ve reviewed about
4,000 shows.
None can compare to what I saw tonight.”
—Richard Connema, renowned Broadway critic
“The highest and the best of what humans can produce.”
—Olevia Brown-Klahn, singer and musician
“A must-see!” —Broadway World
ALL-NEW 2019 SHOW WITH LIVE ORCHESTRA
Where Art Connects Heaven & Earth ORDER TODAY!
Sold-Out Theaters Around the World! 44 | N OV E M B E R 2 2 , 2 0 1 8
FEB 2–3
MILWAUKEE
Miller High Life Theatre
MAY 7–8
MADISON
Overture Center for the Arts
Early bird code: SY19 Get best seats & waive fees by 12/31/18
ShenYun.com/WI 800.800.4410 SHEPHERD EXPRESS