Print Edition: Dec. 5, 2019

O.A.R. Ventures onto New Paths ... page 40

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MMSD Executive Director Kevin Shafer Talks About Climate Change ... page 4

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2 | DECEMBER 5 , 2019

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::NEWS&VIEWS

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COURTESY OF MMSD

FEATURES | POLLS | TAKING LIBERTIES | ISSUE OF THE WEEK

What is the mission of the MMSD? We’re really trying to manage water in a holistic fashion—to do it in a cost-effective manner to reduce pollutants getting in the rivers and into Lake Michigan, which is where our drinking water supply comes from. So, our mission is to improve the environment cost-effectively, but it’s getting harder to do that with the changing climate that we’re currently facing.

Let’s go back 30 years ago, before the Deep Tunnel.

There were overflows that were more common than anyone wanted. Then, the tunnel was built—a big storage tank, essentially—which altered the situation. So, how many overflows were happening before the tunnel, and how many are occurring today?

Prior to the Deep Tunnel coming online in August 1993, we had an average of 50 to 60 overflows per year, and unfortunately there are still cities in the U.S. that are still having numbers like that. Since the tunnel was built, we’ve cut that annual number of overflows to just over two.

MMSD Executive Director Kevin Shafer

How the Milwaukee Metropolitan Sewerage District Handles the Challenge of Climate Change AN INTERVIEW WITH EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR KEVIN SHAFER ::BY LOUIS G. FORTIS

he Milwaukee Metropolitan Sewerage District (MMSD) is a statechartered agency providing wastewater treatment and flood management to 1.1 million people in 28 communities spread across five counties. The MMSD is scapegoated whenever a flood or sewage overflow occurs and is especially targeted by opportunistic politicians, but it is regarded as a model system nationally and internationally for its ability to keep maintain high standards of health and safety for the people it serves.

The MMSD’s director sat down with the Shepherd Express and explained the work of his agency and some of the new challenges it faces.

So, there was real improvement there?

Absolutely, and one of the statistics that we like to talk about is that since the tunnel’s construction, it has captured and cleaned 98.5% of all the water that’s come into the system. The federal requirement is that we have to be above 85%. I don’t know of any other utility in the country that’s had a success rate like we’ve had.

The other issue that’s really come to the fore recently has been climate change. Donald Trump has been trying to pull the U.S. out of the Paris Agreement and so forth. How is climate change affecting Milwaukee and, specifically, MMSD? When it rains on our sewer service area, water gets into the system, either directly into the system or through leaks in some of the pipes, so we have to watch the rainfall carefully; just like this past weekend, we were watching the heavy rain in our area. If we get a forecast that says we’re going to be getting more than two inches of rain in our area, that’s when we start getting concerned about the rainfall. We’ll send out an alert to residents not to do their laundry or wash their dishes until after the rain has stopped; it’s the discretionary use of water that we’re trying to avert during these storms.

With the ongoing change in climate, we are seeing more intense storms hit with a higher volume of water in the system, so that puts more water into the tunnel and at our treatment plants. We simply have to try to manage that water and try our best not to have an overflow.

Right now, MMSD is averaging about two overflows per year. Could climate change potentially cause this number to rise?

We’re doing a lot right now to try to be more resilient to the changing climate—trying to address that water where it falls so it doesn’t put pressure on our system. Plus, we’re looking at how much we need to expand our system for these flash storms that we’re getting.

In 2009, I wrote a vision for the district, which said that we’re going to go to 100% renewable energy and try to get to zero overflows. Over the last 20 years, we’ve laid out a program where we have the pipes underground, we have the Deep Tunnel, we have sand drains in swamp water; we’re trying to manage the water on the surface before it gets into MMSD continued on page 6 >

4 | DECEMBER 5, 2019

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

NEWS&VIEWS::FEATURE COURTESY OF MMSD

> MMSD continued from page 4

Deep Tunnel Project Construction

DEFINING TERMS AT THE MMSD The Deep Tunnel

The project came online in 1993 and was designed to keep sewer overflows to a minimum. It has succeeded, reducing 50 to 60 annual overflows per year to less than 25.

Stormwater

Stormwater results from rain running off of streets, yards, roofs and parking lots. Occasionally the regional sewer system is overwhelmed by flows from the local sewers. When this happens, flows are diverted to the Deep Tunnel for storage until there is room at treatment plants to clean the excess wastewater.

Overflows

the pipes. We’re doing this through work called Green Infrastructure, where we’re putting rain roofs on buildings, selling rain barrels, using porous pavement on parking lots, putting swales along roads—different ways to manage water in a better fashion.

By doing it this way as opposed to building bigger pipes, we’re putting vegetation back into our urban setting, and we’re adding habitat to the region. It helps the aesthetics of the region and the health of the people who live here, and it makes us more climate-resilient to some of these storms that we’re seeing.

So, it’s a multi-faceted approach to trying to manage storm water where it falls, trying to keep it out of the drains and the tunnel and also bring green areas back to our area to improve public health and some of the airquality issues that we have.

What specifically are you doing to bring back those green areas you mentioned?

Under our Flood Management Authority, we’re getting concrete out of our river channels. In the 1960s, we lined all the rivers with concrete, so now we’re ripping all that concrete out and putting the natural channels back in. We’re widening the floodplain to bring more green space to the region; there are a lot of trails on it as well, so we’re really linking to city with the rest of the county and the suburbs trying to integrate the water improvement system.

What can an individual do—people who are truly concerned and don’t want to feel helpless?

That’s really the one message we’ve been trying to

In terms of “every drop counts,” you can take, process and store only so much water at one time, so anything over that is going to become part of an overflow.

If we’re experiencing a heavy rainfall, any water we use could contribute to an overflow because you’re working at the margins.

Right. We have the Deep Tunnel that holds 532 million gallons, and we have two treatment plants that, during a normal day, treat about 75 million gallons each and, during a rainy day, go up to 300 and 390 million gallons.

So, we’re treating 690 million gallons of water during a heavy rainstorm. These are really huge numbers that are hard to fathom that we’re either treating or storing.

And the water that we’re storing, after the storm passes, is pumped out and treated. We’re seeing larger storms hit that are causing more and more water to go into our system, so we’re trying very hard to manage those storms and hit those margins that you’re talking about.

COURTESY OF MMSD

Overflows occur when a storm provides more rainwater than the system can handle. These overflows can occur even when the Deep Tunnel is not at full capacity.

educate people on since I’ve been at MMSD. Government can do a lot, but it really needs the individual’s help.

We’re telling people that they can install a rain barrel on their downspout—which collects the rain water before it drains into our sewer system—and drain that barrel into a rain garden: a deeply tilled area that allows that water to infiltrate into the ground. They can also install efficient water systems inside their homes that utilize less water on a day-to-day basis; there are a lot of little things people can do because, as we say, every drop counts. So, every drop of storm water that you manage on your property and every drop less that you use in your home is one drop less that you’re paying us to treat. That makes for less water that we have to treat, so we’re saving our capacity for those large events.

Clean Water Act

The 1972 legislation gave the Environmental Protection Agency the legal authority to create standards for pollution control.

The act provided federal funding for sewage treatment plants.

Southeast Wisconsin Regional Planning Commission

The regional government agency is responsible for the Regional Water Quality Management Plan for the greater Milwaukee watershed and provides other input for MMSD. The Commission maintains up-to-date reports on the current status of water quality in the region.

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NEWS&VIEWS::TAKINGLIBERTIES

Ron Johnson Is Now Peddling Communist Propaganda ::BY JOEL MCNALLY

W

ith friends like Wisconsin Republican Sen. Ron Johnson, Ukraine doesn’t need any enemies.

Johnson’s name keeps coming up during the impeachment hearings as a witness to President Donald Trump’s internal discussions about using his presidency to pressure Ukraine into publicly announcing criminal investigations to benefit Trump’s reelection. Johnson has awkwardly attempted to portray himself in the media as a strong supporter of both Ukraine and Trump.

But the volatile Trump has never tolerated divided loyalties from those around him. Trump, who sometimes sacrilegiously refers to himself as “the Chosen One,” is like an angry Old Testament God demanding absolute allegiance from cowering congressional Republicans.

Johnson attended the inauguration of Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky and claims to have initially advocated for Trump to release nearly $400 million in congressionally approved military assistance to defend Ukraine against a continuing invasion from Russia.

But Johnson fell silent after Trump made his absolute contempt for Ukraine clear in private White House discussions, calling the struggling democracy “a phony country” that should really be part of Russia. (Golly, I wonder which world leader could have given Trump that idea.)

Trump’s Extortion Scheme

That led Trump to use Ukraine’s desperate need for U.S. military assistance to try to extort Zelensky into publicly announcing two Ukrainian criminal investigations—one into former Vice President Joe Biden, a possible Democratic opponent in the race to the presidency, and the other into whether corrupt Ukrainians conspired with Democrats to interfere in the 2016 U.S. presidential election and then framed innocent Russians and the Trump campaign for the dirty deed.

According to Gordon Sondland, Trump’s ambassador to the European Union, Trump didn’t care whether Ukraine actually conducted any investigations. All that mattered was that Zelensky announce them publicly. Then, Trump could smear Biden for being under criminal investigation and once again declare all the evidence collected by U.S. intelligence agencies proving Russia’s illegal 2016 interference to elect Trump was a Democratic hoax. According to Fiona Hill, the top Russia expert for the National Security Council, Trump’s claim that Ukraine, not Russia, disrupted the U.S. election was fraudulent propaganda spread by Russian military intelligence.

So, what did Johnson do for his Ukrainian friends when Trump withheld hundreds of millions of U.S. taxpayer dollars from Ukraine, SHEPHERD EXPRESS

urging Zelensky to announce sham investigations vilifying Biden and blaming Ukrainians for Russia’s international crimes? Johnson told The Wall Street Journal he winced. That’s Johnson. A profile in courage unleashing a withering wince at Trump for unconstitutionally soliciting illegal foreign interference in yet another U.S. presidential election.

Since that devastating wince, Johnson has reestablished his enduring friendship with Trump. As chairman of the Senate Committee on Homeland Security, Johnson has repeatedly promoted U.S. investigations into whether bad Ukrainians (no friends of his) conspired in 2016 with the Democratic National Committee, the Clinton campaign or the Obama administration to produce dirt on the Trump campaign and sully the reputation of Trump’s campaign manager Paul Manafort, who is now serving time in federal prison for tax evasion, bank fraud and money laundering.

Debunking the Bunk?

Johnson freely acknowledges “certain elements” of the rumors about Ukrainian interference in the 2016 election have been debunked.

But Johnson claims that, from “my own oversight work, there are all kinds of things that have not been debunked.” As long as there are still rumors about Ukraine planted by Russian intelligence on rightwing websites that haven’t been debunked yet, Johnson intends to keep demanding they be investigated.

Johnson is the perfect example of Republicans twisting themselves into pretzels to justify Trump’s constant pathological lying, personal corruption and secret alliances with malevolent world dictators. Johnson was elected to the U.S. Senate in the racist, Tea Party Obama backlash election of 2010. He had no political experience and no apparent political qualifications. Johnson’s only real political interest was continuing to slash taxes for millionaires like himself. Johnson didn’t come from great wealth but earned it the American way—by marrying into it. He rose quickly from accountant to CEO of an Oshkosh plastics company founded by his inlaws. Johnson was an initial opponent of the $1.5 trillion Republican tax cut in 2017, but not for any reasons of fiscal responsibility. He just wanted larger tax cuts for four businesses he and his wife owned. That also increased the tax cuts for Trump’s family businesses, so it was an easy win.

Johnson’s ideology has always been standard, rightwing, Republican anticommunism. He smears Democrats as Marxists for wanting to expand affordable health care or any other government benefits for Americans unless they’re millionaires.

Republicans may not really know why Trump keeps promoting ideas and policies originating with Russian President Vladimir Putin, American democracy’s greatest adversary. But surely, Johnson and other rightwing Republicans must have a few qualms about peddling fraudulent communist propaganda created by Russian military intelligence to justify refusing to remove their party’s politically embarrassing, financially corrupt and totally unqualified president from public office in order to hold onto power.

Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n DECEMBER 5, 2019 | 7

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Wisconsin Must Reform Community Supervision to Cut Crime and Costs ::BY MARC LEVIN AND TOM LYONS

E

very election year, politicians in Wisconsin take to the campaign trail and promise to spend taxpayer dollars wisely and to keep our streets safe.

But in our state, we have a criminal justice system that often betrays those promises and undermines our shared values.

Since 1980, Wisconsin’s prison population has grown more than fivefold.

Today, more than 22,000 Wisconsinites are incarcerated, which strains taxpayers and shrinks the workforce. To be sure, there is a role for incarceration when it comes to those who endanger public safety, but Wisconsin is locking up too many people who do not fall into that category, including nearly 2,000 admissions every year for drug offenses.

Incarceration costs Wisconsin taxpayers more than $1 billion a year as spending on corrections has far outpaced other budgetary priorities. Aside from being a burden on taxpayers while inside, those who leave prison face many obstacles to success, including reconnecting with family, finding employment and housing. In contrast, community-based interventions, such as drug and mental health treatment—often in conjunction with drug and other problem-solving courts—help break the cycle, providing accountability while strengthening connections to family and making it easier to find employment and housing.

Undermining Rehabilitation

A major driver of this crisis in Wisconsin is the probation and parole system, which causes people to be thrown back in prison for minor mistakes like missing an appointment or even taking a job without prior approval. These revocations, known as “technical revocations” because they don’t involve to commission of a new offense, undermine the original goal of supervision as a rehabilitative alternative to prison.

In 2018 alone, more than 3,700 Wisconsinites were revoked from community supervision to prison for merely technical violations, accounting for 45% of all new admissions to state prisons. Wisconsin now has the highest rate of parole supervision among its neighboring states, and people spend more than twice as long on parole than the national average. Forcing people to live one missed appointment away from a prison sentence is unfair, unjust and harmful. Our probation and parole system should be helping people stay out of prison and rebuild their lives, not creating tripwires for failure.

Dozens of states have instituted alternatives to curtail revocations for minor technical violations, including increased reporting, curfews and even a weekend in jail that allows those under supervision to be held accountable while maintaining employment. The experience in these states, and as shown in a vast body of research, have demonstrated that the swift, certain and commensurate sanctions combined with positive incentives such as earned time for exemplary performance, are far more cost-effective in promoting compliance with supervision terms than technical revocations to prison. Wisconsin simply cannot afford to continue with this failed, counterproductive approach.

Sensible Solutions

Joan Lunden, journalist, best-selling author, former host of Good Morning America and senior living advocate.

8 | DECEMBER 5, 2019

Across the country, leaders from both sides of the aisle are coming together behind smart and sensible solutions that will improve public safety and stop the revolving door between supervision and prison. In states like Oklahoma, Florida, Texas and Louisiana, criminal justice reforms are already working to reduce crime and right-size state government. Last year, Donald Trump signed sweeping reform legislation into law, calling the First Step Act “a model for criminal justice reform at the state level.”

Now, Wisconsin legislators have an opportunity to follow their lead and implement proven, evidence-based reforms that will make our communities stronger and safer. By reining in technical revocations, removing barriers to post-prison employment and expanding access to mental health and substance abuse treatment, Wisconsin lawmakers can demonstrate their commitment to the values of fairness and personal accountability—and reduce the size of government at the same time.

Our communities are strongest when all Wisconsinites can work, support their families and participate in society. Sensible criminal justice reforms, including the revamping community supervision, will enable Wisconsin policymakers to deliver on their promises of safe streets and wiser use of precious taxpayer dollars.

Marc Levin is vice president of criminal justice policy at the Texas Public Policy Foundation; Tom Lyons is the state director of Wisconsin Right on Crime. Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::SAVINGOURDEMOCRACY ( DEC. 5 - DEC. 11, 2019 ) Shepherd Express serves as a clearinghouse for all activities in the greater Milwaukee area that peacefully push back against discriminatory, reactionary, racist, homophobic and authoritarian actions and policies of the Donald Trump administration, as well as those of others who likewise seek to thwart social justice. To submit to this column, please send a brief description of your action, including date and time, to savingourdemocracy@shepex.com.

Friday, Dec. 6

International Climate Strike @ Zeidler Park, 10:30 a.m.

Milwaukee’s newly formed People’s Climate Coalition will organize a rally as part of an international wave of actions and will protest Wells Fargo and Chase Bank for loaning money to the fossil fuel industry. The Milwaukee coalition brings together members 350 Milwaukee, Youth Climate Action Team, Gaia Coalition Network, Extinction Rebellion Milwaukee, Sunrise Milwaukee and NextGen WI, along with many individuals likewise concerned with the state of the environment.

Conversations Around Water @ Global Water Center Auditorium, 247 W. Freshwater Way, 9:30-11:30 a.m.

“Join Marquette University and the Global Water Center for Conversations Around Water. Rebecca Tallon (director of water treatment technologies at A.O. Smith) and Matt Magruder (environmental research manager with the Milwaukee Metropolitan Sewage District) will be featured guests,” according to the event’s webpage.

Saturday, Dec. 7

Peace Action of Wisconsin: Stand for Peace @ the corner of East Locust Street and North Humboldt Blvd., noon-1 p.m.

Every Saturday from noon-1 p.m., concerned citizens join with Peace Action of Wisconsin to protest war and literally “Stand for Peace.” Signs will be provided for those who need them. Protesters are encouraged to stick around for conversation and coffee after the protest.

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Monday, Dec. 9

Organizing for Justice, Teaching for Black Lives @ 200 W. Pleasant St., 5:30-7:30 p.m.

Special guest Jesse Hagopian will be speaking; he is an ethnic studies and ELA teacher, as well as a co-adviser to the Black Student Union at Garfield High School— the site of the historic boycott of the MAP test in 2013.

Tuesday, Dec. 10

Milwaukee Turners Holiday Party—Turning It Up 4 Justice @ Turner Hall, 1034 N. Vel R. Phillips Ave., 5:30-9 p.m.

Celebrate Human Rights Day with Milwaukee Turners Holiday Party, “Turning It Up 4 Justice,” and recognize the campaigns and people who did the most innovative and impactful equity and justice work in Milwaukee throughout 2019. Following the awards presentations, stay for food, drinks, music and dancing featuring DJ Bizzon in the historic gymnasium.

Wednesday, Dec. 11

Delegate Informational Sessions @ the Milwaukee County Democratic Party Office, 2999 S. Delaware Ave., 6-8 p.m.

Are you interested in becoming a national convention delegate, or do you want more information on the process? The Democratic Party of Wisconsin will be hosting several national convention information sessions across Wisconsin this winter and into the spring; this is the first one; they are free to attend and open to the public.

Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n SHEPHERD EXPRESS

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::OUTOFMYMIND

The Minds of Conspiracy Theorists

before that. In fact, anthropologists maintain this tendency resides in our evolutionary pedigree. For early humans, inferring malevolent intent in other persons or groups (“What are they up to?”) proved adaptive, creating a degree of wariness that, on occasion, protected folks from bad actors. Trouble is, conspiracy theories are just that... theories.

In the absence of factual evidence supporting them, these notions are merely speculative, sometimes wildly so, yet they are too often regarded as truth. Why?

D

Inherently Suspicious

::BY PHILIP CHARD

O YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO BELIEVES THE EARTH IS FLAT? Or, perhaps, someone who asserts climate change is a hoax, that a deep state conspiracy runs our government, that fake news dominates mainstream media, or that the gun control lobby fabricates school shootings in an effort to confiscate Americans’ firearms? If you’re wondering whether people actually buy into one or more of these fanciful notions, wonder no more. While social media probably exaggerates the number of folks who believe conspiracy theories, surveys suggest almost half of us harbor at least one.

What is the psychological make up of those who embrace conspiracy theories? How does someone who is otherwise sane and functional conclude that NASA filmed the moon landings in a secret studio, that the 9/11 attacks were an inside job or that Area 51 harbors bodies of extraterrestrial aliens who crash-landed in New Mexico?

Well, humans have been conjuring conspiracy theories as far back as the historical records go, and probably well

Psychologists find that those inclined toward conspiratorial machinations exhibit specific personality traits and ways of thinking. They tend to be inherently suspicious, regard the world as a dangerous place full or nefarious types and mentally project conspiratorial patterns onto events that, objectively, have none. Their eagerness to endorse paranoid conjecture without insisting on verifiable evidence supporting it constitutes what psychologists call “BS receptivity.” Not exactly a technical term, but you get the idea.

Because true conspiracies (those factually proven) do exist, this creates an opening for those seeking to spread unfounded conjecture about what’s behind certain events.

Capitalizing on BS receptivity, they point to legitimate conspiratorial happenings as “proof” that illegitimate ones are the real deal. For example, because there are actually individuals who hide the circumstances of their birth to fabricate an alternate identity, some assume this proves the birther conspiracy that Obama was born in Kenya.

But, why would someone buy into an unfounded assertion already proven false? Sometimes, tribal influences

come into play. If enough folks in my social orbit believe a baseless conspiracy, agreeing with them is my ticket to belonging. Also, once one believes in such stuff, it’s easy to dismiss contradictory evidence as “part of the plot.” Finally, buying someone’s BS at face value spares us the cognitive effort necessary to ascertain the facts and apply critical thinking. Basically, it’s easier to be a sucker than a thinker.

Troubled Times

Also, there is considerable evidence people are more prone to conspiratorial thinking during troubled times, in an effort to create greater certainty (“I know what’s going on”) and, ostensibly, reduce anxiety. However, the catch-22 is that most conspiracy theories are gloomy affairs inhabited with malevolent actors and sinister plots, meaning they usually amplify one’s angst rather than salving it.

Usually, pushing back on unfounded conspiracies proves a waste of breath. A person’s beliefs are firmly attached to his or her identity. When confronted with facts that undermine one’s conspiracy theory, many invoke confirmation bias—ignoring information that refutes one’s opinion. It takes courage and strength of character to challenge one’s beliefs, let alone admit being mistaken.

Recently, a friend who has long been a climate change denier told me, “I was wrong.”

It wasn’t just an avalanche of facts that changed his mind, but also the recognition that he was letting others dictate what he believed.

Given our conspiracy-saturated body politic today, his story offers sound guidance.

Think for yourself.

For more, visit philipchard.com.

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We will keep you informed each week about the growing availability of legal cannabis products in Milwaukee and what’s happening at the state level with respect to Wisconsin’s movement towards legalization, what’s happening in other states and in the rest of the world.

Bayview Wellness Opens on Bay View’s East End ::BY SHEILA JULSON

J

ulie Vance, a doctor of chiropractic medicine, became interested in cannabidiol (CBD) after using it on her 12-year-old Chihuahua to help control his painful arthritis. After regular use, she noticed his mobility improve.

“Being a Chihuahua, he can be a little sassy, and CBD helped calm him down,” she laughs.

When her brother, Douglas, an advocate of CBD, wanted to open a shop, Julie knew of the ideal location—an empty retail space adjacent to her chiropractic practice, Chiropractic Health and Wellness. After spending most of this year researching CBD and recruiting and educating staff, the siblings opened Bayview Wellness (2529 E. Oklahoma Ave.) in early October. There, customers can find CBD tinctures, soft gels, gummies, pain sticks, coffee, tea and a small selection of smokable flower.

Vance said they will further expand Bayview Wellness to offer other items that support health, like supplements and essential oils. They plan to host educational classes about CBD and essential oils. Although chiropractors use natural health care approaches, Vance emphasizes that she does not use CBD in her chiropractic practice, because the Wisconsin Chiropractic Association has yet to make decisions about CBD’s role in chiropractic care. But she will address patients’ questions about CBD. Brian Delaney, a CBD specialist with Bayview Wellness, has attractively arranged the bright, intimate space according to product type. They carry well-known tincture brands like Charlotte’s Web, Sunsoil and Hemplucid, as well as Milwaukee’s own Cream City Wellness, which processes and sells hemp grown by the owners.

They also stock Banner Harvest, an Illinois company that sources CBD oil from their own crops, and CBDistillery’s line of economically priced CBD items. Bayview Wellness only stocks brands that can produce third-party lab tests to confirm purity.

Locally produced CBD wellness items include Canna Infuzions roller ball essences, pain salve, tinctures and teas. Bayview Wellness also carries Floyd’s of Leadville pain salves, formulated specifically for athletes, with pain-relieving properties using arnica or camphor. Edibles include CBD chocolate bars, Buddha Teas and Charlotte’s Web’s new line of ginger or lemon-lime-flavored gummies. Bayview Wellness also has soft gels, pet oil, bath salts and gift bags with sample CBD items.

Four Pillars of Cannabidiol Use

There are some CBD products on the market that have been tested and shown to not contain the amount of CBD advertised. When Vance or Delaney hear from people who claim CBD didn’t work for them, their first question is “where did you buy it?”

“Often, they bought it at a gas station,” she says. “Everything in here has been thirdparty tested. Customers know exactly what they’re getting. We utilize CBD for health and wellness, and not for anything else.”

Vance observes how CBD has been touted to fix almost every ailment under the sun. “If you look at the tiny amount of research that’s out there—and there isn’t much—but if you look at it, there are four pillars indicating the majority of reasons why people use CBD: stress and anxiety, pain control, inflammation and sleep issues.

We emphasize those four pillars.”

The current patchwork of state cannabis regulations has hindered medical research on both CBD and medical marijuana, Vance notes. At this time, further cannabis legalization is stalled in Wisconsin, but Vance hopes it advances at the federal level. “Unless it’s federally legal, you will not have research,” she says. “Because each state is doing it piece by piece by piece, there will probably be a tipping point; if 40 states have it legal, the federal government will just legalize it. But until it’s federally legal, it won’t be researched the way it needs to be. At least with CBD, it has a great deal of efficacy in those four pillars, and I think that research is going to be so important.”

For more information, call 414-481-8683 or visit facebook.com/bayviewwellnessmke.

Comment at shepherdexpress.com.n

12 | D E C E M B E R 5 , 2 0 1 9

Marijuana Legalization Will Be Decided by Referendum in New Jersey ::BY JEAN-GABRIEL FERNANDEZ

“D

o you approve amending the Constitution to legalize a controlled form of marijuana?” That is the question New Jersey voters will probably have to answer when they cast their vote in November 2020.

Hopes were high that marijuana would be fully legal in New Jersey by the end of 2019, as Democratic Senate President Stephen Sweeney promised a decisive vote in the legislature—and he estimated a “50-50” chance of success—but the plan fell through. Instead, lawmakers introduced a resolution to create a constitutional amendment through referendum—a “safer” option than legislative approval, as a significant majority of New Jerseyans support legal marijuana.

“We will have the legislature vote on the plan during the current legislative session and expect the proposal to be on the ballot in 2020, when voter turnout will be maximized for the national election,” Sweeney and Democratic Sen. Nicholas Scutari, both cosponsors of the original bill, announced in a joint statement.

“We are confident it will be approved by the Senate, the Assembly and the voters.”

The tipping point that forced New Jersey leaders to change their approach was the November 2019 election, as it changed the composition of the New Jersey legislature, which had been on the verge of legalizing marijuana. Sweeney initially reignited hope that recreational marijuana would be legalized when he admitted the question could be voted on during the lame duck session.

After another attempt to wrangle the last few necessary votes at the beginning of the session, Sweeney publicly gave up. “We recognize that the votes just aren’t there,” he admitted.

This is not out of the realm of expectations, as lawmakers had planned the option of putting legalization on the ballot for a long time.

Legalizing recreational marijuana through legislative action is an extremely difficult endeavor. If it had succeeded, New Jersey would have become the third state to do so through the legislature (after Vermont and Illinois). All the other states in which marijuana is legal passed their reforms by referenda, which sets a comfortable precedent for New Jersey. “One way or another, we’re gonna get marijuana in the state,” Sweeney announced.

A Long Journey Toward Legalization

Marijuana legalization in New Jersey has been on the table for quite a while, especially since Sweeney introduced a full legalization bill in 2018. The bill was expected to easily pass the Assembly, but votes came slightly short in the Senate. For months, the public was kept on edge as he attempted to drum up additional support. The bill eventually failed in March 2019, when it became obvious that it would be impossible to obtain the necessary votes. Despite a 2614 Democratic majority in the Senate, several Democratic senators broke with the party line and opposed the reform measure.

The bill’s failure came as a surprise, as New Jersey seemed to be the perfect place for it. Not only did the state boast an overwhelming Democratic majority in the Assembly and a solid Democratic lead in the Senate, but its Democratic governor, Phil Murphy, is an outspoken proponent of cannabis reform. “By legalizing adult-use marijuana, we can reverse the inequality and unfairness left from years of failed drug policies and shift public safety resources to where they can do the most good,” he announced in his 2019 State of the State Address. Legalization was one of his key campaign promises.

Murphy expressed deep disappointment when the lame duck session attempt fell through as well. “I am disappointed that we are not able to get this done legislatively and that our failed status quo—which sends roughly 600 people to jail a week for possession, the majority of them people of color—will continue,” he said. “However, I have faith that the people of New Jersey will put us on the right side of history when they vote next November.”

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D E C E M B E R 5 , 2 0 1 9 | 13

::WINTERDRINK

SPONSORED BY

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Dazzle Your Holidays with Locally Made Beverages ::BY SHEILA JULSON

Looking for something outside of beer and wine this holiday season? Whether you’re entertaining or seeking a unique gift, these Milwaukee-based beverage companies have got you covered with alcoholic and non-alcoholic options.

HOLIDAY SPIRITS

Twisted Path Distillery’s Brian Sammons thinks outside the box when crafting organic vodka, rum and gin. The distillery’s new Chai Liqueur has a calculated balance of alcohol, sugar and spice that produces a complex flavor that works in many cocktails beyond a white Russian or a mudslide. twistedpathdistillery.com Wisconsin’s first distillery since Prohibition, Great Lakes Distillery is known for small batch spirits such as Rehorst Vodka, Kinnickinnic Whiskey and Roaring Dan’s Rum. Their Pumpkin Seasonal Spirit whiskey is flavored with caramel and hints of pumpkin and spice.

The company’s Good Land line of liqueurs ranges from 50- to 70-proof alcohol, and it includes Door County Cherry, Coffee, Cranberry or Orange, made with natural and locally sourced ingredients. greatlakesdistillery.com The Walker’s Point neighborhood’s Central Standard Craft Distillery makes a brandy ideal for a true Sconnie Old-Fashioned—North Wisconsin Brandy.

Their Kohler Dark Chocolate Brandy adds a rich, chocolaty-nutty kick to cocktails, and their Mint Chocolate Brandy works well in coffee. The distillery’s flavored vodkas, such as Anodyne Coffee Vodka or Door County Cherry Vodka, add flavorful twists to most cocktails. thecentralstandard.com

CREAMY LIQUEURS

RumChata has been manufactured in Pewaukee, Wis., since 2009, and it blends rum, cream, cinnamon and vanilla into a smooth liqueur that can be enjoyed on the rocks or in drinks like the Salted Caramel Martini or Cinnamon Toast. Their new FrappaChata blends RumChata with iced coffee. rumchata.com Milwaukee-based Milk & Honey’s cream liqueur was created by attorney-turned-entrepreneur Justin Lubin, a descendant of a New England, Prohibition-era bootlegger. Made with date honey imported from the Sea of Galilee, Milk & Honey has 30% less sugar than most cream liqueurs and blends well with other quality spirits. realmilkandhoney.com

THE LIGHTER SIDE

Low-alcohol seltzers are all the rage, and several Milwaukee area companies have put their unique

14 | D E C E M B E R 5 , 2 0 1 9

Hot buttered rum with spices

stamps on this versatile bubbly beverage. PRESS (enjoypress.com), created by Amy Wahlberg of Fox Point, Wis., offers unique flavor combinations like Pear Chamomile or refreshing Lime Lemongrass. Sprecher Brewery (sprecherbrewery.com) is always keeping up with the trends, and their Wisconsin Old-Fashioned Press Hard Seltzer captures the key flavors in a Wisconsin-style bourbon (yep, bourbon, not brandy) OldFashioned. Circling back to Central Standard Distillery, their new Hard2o flavored vodka water, in berry, citrus, mango or dragon fruit-pear flavors, has only 40 calories per 12-ounce serving and is 5% alcoholby-volume. Henry’s Hard Sparkling Water, made by MillerCoors, comes in six flavors including blueberrylemon or pineapple.

Afternoon Tea and Non-Alcoholic Refreshers

MISCELLANY

Colectivo Coffee’s (colectivocoffee.com) 25-plus java varieties are available at the company’s cafés throughout Milwaukee, along with special holiday packaged seasonal blends, which are ideal for gift giving. Also check out unique coffees and seasonal roasts from Anodyne Coffee Roasting Co. (anodynecoffee.com), Valentine Coffee Co. (valentinecoffeeco.com), Hawthorne Coffee Roasters (hawthornecoffeeroasters.com), Pilcrow Coffee (pilcrowcoffee.com) and Stone Creek Coffee (stonecreekcoffee.com), or PhiloÇoffia’s cold brew and barrel-aged coffees, available at area retailers.

Joynt Cannabis Brands, an offshoot of PhiloÇoffia Coffee Company, has a Cannabis Margarita Gift pack available online at jointcannabisbrands.com and includes WildFire hemp extract for flavor, Canna Myst CBD oil for relaxation and visual appeal (there’s crushed cannabis flowers in the oil) and WildFireinfused rimming salt. Bittercube’s (bittercube.com) nine varieties of artisanal bitters, or Top Note’s (topnotetonic.com) tonics and sodas, are flavorful additions to any home bar. Some people don’t consider the holidays compete without eggnog, so Wisconsin’s Sassy Cow Creamery (sassycowcreamery.com) and Organic Valley (organicvalley.coop) make eggnog that’s also good for you, with dairy that’s either organic or rBST-free.

TEA AND TEA DRINKS

Local tea company Rishi Tea (rishi-tea.com) directly sources green, black, white, oolong, chai and botanical teas from gardens and growers throughout the world. Urbal Tea (urbalhealth.com) blends loose-leaf herbal infusions for medicinal and wellness properties. For a cool twist on tea, try kombucha, a fermented tea known for its probiotic-rich properties. Lovebootch (lovebootchkombucha.com) or Brew City Booch (facebook.com/brewcityboochmke) both brew kombucha in the Milwaukee area.

LOCAL COFFEE

CHOCOLATY GOODNESS

Local chocolatiers such as Omanhene (omanhene.com) make a rich hot cocoa. Tabal (tabalchocolate.com) crafts a Europeanstyle hot drinking chocolate, as well as cacao-flavored tea.

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Thank you Milwaukee for Voting for Us!

Try these quick and convenient recipes featuring some of the locally produced beverages in this article.

VOTED BEST SELECTION OF BEER AND SPIRITS 18 Y E A R S R U N N I N G !

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1.5 ounce Twisted Path Chai 1/2 ounce simple syrup 1/2 ounce heavy whipped cream 1 whole egg 1 dash Angostura bitters In a shaker tin, combine Twisted Path Chai Liqueur, turbinado simple syrup, heavy whipped cream and ice. Shake. Strain the cocktail into one half of the shaking tin and discard the ice from the other half. Add one whole egg to the cocktail, then shake vigorously until the egg has emulsified. Pour the cocktail into a glass, topping with one dash of Angostura bitters.

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::WINTERDRINK

CREAM CITY DISTILLERIES FIRE UP WHISKEY, RUM, VODKA AND MORE ::BY LACEY MUSZYNSKI

CENTRAL STANDARD CRAFT DISTILLERY 613 S. Second St.

Founded in 2014 by Pat McQuillan and Evan Hughes, Central Standard Craft Distillery is part of a busy food and drink manufacturing section of Walker’s Point that includes Clock Shadow Creamery, Anodyne Coffee, Indeed Brewing and (at the time) included Milwaukee Brewing Company next door. Since opening, Central Standard has outgrown its space and expanded to a second production building just west of the Marquette University campus on Clybourn Street. The bright, breezy taproom is still on Second Street, as are the distillery’s tours. n Vodka is made from 100% rye in a low-reflux distillation process for a smooth, drinkable product (80 proof). n Bourbon Whiskey is pot-distilled using a recipe from the 1800s.

It’s aged less than two years in new charred oak barrels for a caramel flavor with a hint of rye spice. It’s also available as Cabernet Finished Bourbon rested in California Cabernet barrels (90 proof). n Rye Whiskey is distilled with 95% rye and 5% corn for a complex, approachable, spicy flavor profile with a crisp finish (90 proof). n Washington Rye is made using George Washington’s favorite recipe, with 60% rye, 35% corn and 5% malted barley (90 proof). n New American Gin is distilled from a white wheat malt base for sweetness, then infused with six botanicals with only a light flavor of juniper (80 proof). n Door County Cherry Vodka is made with Wisconsin cherries and honey for a little bit of sweetness (80 proof). n Anodyne Coffee Vodka is a collaboration with Anodyne Coffee Roasting Company—a 100% rye vodka steeped with their coffee beans (80 proof). n Kohler Chocolate Brandy is made in collaboration with the Kohler family. This chocolate brandy comes in dark chocolate and mint chocolate flavors; both have rich cocoa flavor with a bit of fruit and nut, with or without a punch of fragrant mint (70 proof).

GREAT LAKES DISTILLERY 616 W. Virginia St.

When Guy Rehorst founded Great Lakes Distillery in 2004, it was the first new distillery in Wisconsin since the Prohibition Era. Because there was so little distilling going on, Rehorst had to work to get a state law changed prohibiting distillers from operating tasting rooms or selling their own product. The law was changed in 2009, and that same year, Great Lakes Distillery opened their popular tasting room. Today you can get a number of cocktails, take a tour, purchase spirits and even have something to eat since a full kitchen was added. Despite their growing popularity, Great Lakes is still a small-batch distiller and uses Wisconsin products whenever possible. n Rehorst Vodka is made exclusively with grain, including Wisconsin-grown red wheat and red wheat malt. Only the middle cut is bottled.

A citrus and honey version is made with real fruit and local Wisconsin honey for just a hint of sweetness (80 proof). n Rehorst Gin: Vodka is infused with nine botanicals, including sweet basil and Wisconsin-grown ginseng for earthiness (88 proof). Rehorst Barrel Reserve Gin is aged in oak barrels and released at a rate of one barrel per month (94 proof). Orchard Gin is made from 100% fruit distillate from cherries, apples and pears and is only available in very limited quantities (88 proof). n Roaring Dan’s Rum has a hint of maple flavor, thanks to the addition of Wisconsin maple syrup before the second distillation. It’s 16 | D E C E M B E R 5 , 2 0 1 9

then aged in charred white oak barrels and used bourbon barrels for a smooth finish (90 proof). n Whiskey: Rehorst’s Kinnickinnic Whiskey is a blend of straight bourbon, malt and rye whiskey made onsite and bottled unfiltered (86 proof). Still & Oak labels come in straight bourbon and straight rye varieties (90 proof). Repeal Reserve Straight Rye Whiskey is aged for five years and is only released on the fifth day of December each year (the day Prohibition ended) (90 proof). n Amerique 1912 Absinthe is available in verte and rouge. These absinthes are based on a pre-ban recipe that includes anise, wormwood and fennel (126 proof). n Brightonwoods Apple Brandy is made entirely from apples from Wisconsin’s Brightonwoods orchard and is aged at least two years in charred oak and bourbon barrels (90 proof). n Good Land Liqueurs has four liqueurs, including orange with spices, coffee, cranberry and Door County cherry (70 proof). n Pumpkin Spirit is distilled with Lakefront Brewery’s Pumpkin Lager. This whiskey-like spirit ages in various types of wood and has hints of caramel, pumpkin and spice and is released each fall in a limited number of bottles (90 proof).

TOM AND JERRY —THE DRINK ::BY JOHN JAHN

COURTESY OF TWSITED PATH

Milwaukee Isn’t Just America’s Beer Capital

SPONSORED BY

Twisted Path Distillery

TWISTED PATH DISTILLERY 2018 S. First St.

Whitefish Bay native Brian Sammons founded Twisted Path Distillery at the end of 2014. Previously, he worked in counter-intelligence in the CIA tracking Osama bin Laden and later became an attorney (no kidding!). Once he became a married family man with kids, he decided that having his own business was his (twisted?) path. A homebrewer, Sammons switched gears to distilling after he was diagnosed with celiac disease. All of the spirits he produces are gluten free and certified organic.

You can visit Twisted Path’s tasting room and distillery at the Lincoln Warehouse for cocktails, flights and bottle purchases and to take a tour. n Vodka is made with organic yellow corn from the Dolan family farm in Dodgeville, Wis., and distilled to have some character, as opposed to complete neutral (80 proof). n White Rum uses a slow distillation process for a distinctive flavor in a light-bodied rum. Dark Rum is aged in whiskey barrels for a full body and complex character (90 proof). n Gin is made by having 100-proof vodka infused with 11 organic botanicals, including honeybush, cinnamon and hops for a unique flavor.

It’s also available in a barrel-rested version and aged in a bourbon barrel for around seven months (92 proof). n Whiskey: Due to the relatively young age of the distillery, whiskey is still being tested and is released as it’s ready. n Chai: The newest spirit in Twisted Path’s lineup, chai was released earlier this year. It’s made with their vodka, to which black tea, herbs, spices and cane sugar are added. Unlike similarly flavored spirits, it does not contain any cream, so it can be utilized in a wider range of cocktails or simply mixed with the dairy of your choice (80 proof).

T

his frothy, comforting drink is perfect for chasing away winter’s chill.

It’s a variant of eggnog with brandy and rum added and served hot, usually in a mug or a bowl. Upon first hearing the libation’s name, you might think its origins must have something to do with, well, Tom and Jerry—the famous cartoon characters created in 1940 by William Hanna and Joseph Barbera. In reality, however, the drink came first. The invention of the Tom and Jerry cocktail, generally credited to British journalist Pierce Egan, occurred in the 1820s. Egan wrote a book (and subsequent play) called Life in London, in which the main characters are named Tom and Jerry.

Now that we have all that cleared out of the way, what goes into a Tom and Jerry cocktail?

Exact recipes abound and slightly vary according to taste, but generally, the main ingredients are eggs (or egg whites), powdered sugar, brandy and rum. Separate the eggs, beat the egg whites until fairly stiff, and mix the egg yolks with powdered sugar. Then, put roughly a spoonful of the yolk mixture into a cup, mug or bowl, then mix with brandy and rum. Fold in some egg white, add hot milk and top with more egg white, stirring gently to fold in the egg white. Finally, top it all off with nutmeg.

Not quite up to all that? You’re in luck! Pre-made Tom and Jerry batter, typically produced by such Wisconsin manufacturers as Mrs. Bowen’s is sold in local supermarkets during the holiday season.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::WINTERDRINK

GREAT NORTHERN DISTILLING MAKES QUINTESSENTIAL WISCONSIN SPIRITS

F

ew are the companies that embrace the Wisconsin identity as Great Northern Distilling does. Situated in Plover—the center of the state, “at the gateway to the pineries of Wisconsin,” as they say—the distillery made it its mission to create handcrafted spirits with locally produced ingredients.

“We aim to produce spirits of exceptional smoothness and easy drinkability from ingredients we source from within 150 miles of our distillery,” founder Brian Cummins says. To give back to the local community, the distillery also offers tours, Great Northern Distilling complete with a full mixology bar.

Great Northern Distilling products boast an exceptional smoothness and unique taste. They have few products, but each obtained several awards all over the country. These include Potato Vodka, Herbalist Gin, Opportunity Rum, Rye Whiskey and Vanguard Whiskey. The latter best represents the brand, Cummins explains, as it is the quintessential Wisconsin spirit, distinguishing itself by its unique composition. Unlike Kentucky bourbon, which can have up to 75% corn, Great Northern Vanguard Whiskey is only 55% corn. “It skews the flavor profile toward a smooth Canadian whiskey. It really has a flavor that is halfway between Kentucky and Canada, like we are geographically, here,” Cummins adds.

For the holidays, Great Northern Distilling will be releasing, for the third time, the rare Wisconsin Brandy. Made from semi-sweet white wine—provided by Sunset Point Winery from Stevens Point—distilled and aged in barrels for two years, it is a popular holiday season offering. Cummins warns that “it typically sells out for us soon after the New Year.”

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

COURTESY OF GREAT NORTHERN DISTILLING

::BY JEAN-GABRIEL FERNANDEZ

505 S. 5! St. Milwaukee, WI

D E C E M B E R 5 , 2 0 1 9 | 17

::DININGOUT

JULIA KOZERSKI

FEATURE | SHORT ORDER | EAT/DRINK

For more Dining, log onto shepherdexpress.com

Il Mito

Il Mito Serves Upscale Yet Unpretentious Italian Meals

::BY SUSAN HARPT GRIMES

If fresh, warm slices of bread—accompanied by a dish of olive oil and garlic hen Il Mito first opened on North Avenue for dipping—don’t seem like enough to tide you over until your entrée arin Wauwatosa some 13 years ago, it was rives, you may want to begin your meal with an appetizer like the outstanding the trendiest spot on the block. However, Carpaccio ($11.95), a lovely plate of roasted, thinly sliced Angus ribeye topped during these intervening years, it’s become with a flavorful horseradish sauce, baby greens, capers and shaved Parmesan something better—a tried and true local facheese. Or order a couple of their fantastic thin crust pizzas ($12-$13.95) for vorite for delicious Italian food. The man behind the table, so good you may not want to share. the successful eatery, Chef Michael Feker, has Any Italian restaurant of quality can be judged by its pasta, and by that opened other restaurants as well, but Il Mito is measure alone, it’s easy to understand the ongoing success of Il Mito. You canone that has withstood the test of time, earning a not go wrong with the Ravioli di Zucca ($15.95), expertly prepared, delicate dedicated and loyal following. pumpkin ravioli topped with a wonderful cream sauce, walnuts and freshly A warm welcome and prompt service set the grated Parmesan. The Risotto ai gamberetti ($18.95) is also quite good, featurtone for a satisfying meal. The inviting dining room ing perfectly cooked risotto with shrimp, asparagus and sun-dried tomato includes just enough upscale touches to make it feel mixed in a cream sauce. For folks who are looking for a real “stick to the ribs” special without being pretentious. In season, al fresco kind of dish, go with the Fekerized lasagna ($17.95), a generous portion of dining is very popular too. If you’re planning to dine at amazing layered lasagna pasta, shredded black angus beef peak times, reservations are recommended. ribs, cheese, bechamel sauce and tomato sauce. The Pollo Anyone with special dietary requirements, such as glutenParmigiana ($19.95) is excellent chicken served with fantasfree, vegetarian or vegan, will rejoice to see the alternative Il Mito Trattoria tic basil pesto linguine and sautéed spinach. menu options clearly labeled. Patrons are encouraged to ask e Enoteca Il Mito features a small but solid wine list, many available about necessary substitutions and the servers and kitchen 6913 W. North Ave. by the glass, and some fine cocktails too. Fans of the Wiscondo a great job keeping the food safe. House-made and 414-443-1414 • $$-$$$ sin classic Old-Fashioned will truly love Il Mito’s version with gluten-free bread, pasta and pizza incur a slight upcharge Handicap Accessible: Yes house-made, bourbon-infused cherries ($10). ($2.50-$3), but it is so tasty, it’s worth every penny.

18 | D E C E M B E R 5 , 2 0 1 9

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VEGAN & VEGETARIAN

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CREAMY VEGAN SPINACH ARTICHOKE DIP Ingredients: • 1 tbsp olive oil • 1/3 cup white onion, diced • 2 large garlic cloves peeled and minced • 4 cups chopped baby spinach, tightly packed • 1 14 oz. jar of marinated artichokes, drained and chopped • 1/2 cup raw cashews, soaked in water for at least 6 hours • 1/2 tbsp lemon juice • 3/4 cup unsweetened almond milk • 1 tsp garlic powder • 1 tsp onion powder • 1/4 tsp paprika • Salt and pepper to taste

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cashews, lemon juice, nondairy milk and a generous pinch of salt and pepper in a food processor or blender. Blend until completely smooth, scraping down the sides every so often. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

6. Turn off heat and add chopped artichokes, cashew mixture, onion powder, garlic powder and paprika to the pan. Stir to combine and season to taste with salt and pepper.

7. Transfer to a glass baking dish and cover with an oven safe lid or foil and bake until hot, about 20-30 minutes.

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DININGOUT::EATDRINK COURTESY OF DIVINO

::SHORTORDER

Hangout MKE Serves Coffee, Music and Games ::BY MAX MITCHELSON

H

angout MKE Café and Lounge (1819 N. Farwell Ave.), one of Milwaukee’s newest cafés, peeks above the sidewalk. Once down the steps at the entrance, the lounge reveals itself as an industrial-looking room with gray concrete floors and white walls. There are splashes of color in the form of bright orange and purple chairs, a teal carpet and one green-stained wooden wall.

Lights in glass globes hang over a sizeable bar, showing off the Hangout’s formidable drink menu, with virtually every type of coffee you could think of. There are of course ordinary items like espressos and cappuccinos, but specialty drinks like a peanut butter cup mochas or blended snickerdoodle lattes abound.

All the specialty drinks are layered high with thick rich piles of whipped cream and special treats and sauces, like delicious spirals of buttery caramel, cinnamon sticks and salty pretzels, all artfully displayed in clear glass cups and mugs. Along with this, the café has a build your own s’more bar that the staff will toast for you, as well as breakfast essentials like egg sausage sandwiched between your choice of bagel or English muffin.

On a recent visit, a bluegrass folk duo climbed on the stage and started strumming some classic tunes on banjos and mandolins. More customers started to file in, as the sun went down, and took seats around the various tables and on black couches. Point being: choosing a drink or dessert from the versatile menu isn’t the only thing to do at the Hangout. Next to the bar are shelves filled to the brim with all manner of board games, with everything from Monopoly to Exploding Kittens. Along with foosball and ping-pong tables, the café also boasts a number of jumbo premium games like a giant pool table more akin to soccer, a massive Scrabble game covering a part of the wall and more. After the band took a break, a banjo player from the audience asked one of the musicians if he could join in after plucking a few notes; before long, he was up on the stage, almost if he was just late to the gig, and the music continued.

FACEBOOK.COM/HANGOUTMKE

Divino

Pizza, Peroni and Wine at Divino ::BY DAVID LUHRSSEN The outdoor sign with the two wine glasses is colored like the Italian flag.

Divino Wine and Dine (2315 N. Murray Ave.) is a long-running East Side Italian restaurant (formerly called Palermo) with homemade pasta entrées, a good wine selection and an extensive menu of mezza—the Mediterranean appetizers translated nowadays as small plates—and pizza in three sizes and eight varieties. There are also some 20 toppings that offer ample opportunities to customize. Try this: meatballs (for heft) and pepperoncini (for bite) on a thick bed of mushrooms and melted cheese. The crust is just right—neither too thick nor too thin. Divino has too many specials to ignore, including Monday’s “buy one pizza, get the second one for free” and Tuesday’s half-priced bottles of wine. If vino isn’t your thing, there is a full bar alongside the dining room and, yes, Peroni is on tap.

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Hangout MKE Café and Lounge SHEPHERD EXPRESS

DAY CARE OVERNIGHT CARE GROOMING TRAINING CLASSES

Illustration by Scott Radke

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This Holiday Season •Have a Custom piece made •Take a class (or give a class) •Stop in and buy our one of a kind jewelry

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Holiday Gift Pages DEC. 7

DEC. 14

DEC. 21

Browse pages 22 - 26 for holiday gifts that will make the season bright!

To advertise on these pages, please contact your Account Executive or contact Jackie at 414.292.3814 or jackie@shepex.com.

AMERICAN SCIENCE & SURPLUS

CELEBRATE THE HOLIDAY SEASON WITH A FUN-FILLED DAY AT THE H-D MUSEUM® FAMILY FUN GUIDE or book a highlights tour

8TH ANNUAL TOY & BOOK DRIVE

BARK N SCRATCH OUTPOST

at MOTOR® Bar & Restaurant (reservations required)

Supporting the Milwaukee Child Advocacy Center (MCAC) in affiliation with Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin, donate and receive 15% off at MOTOR.®

HOLIDAY SHOPPING

H-DMUSEUM.COM

BREAKFAST WITH SANTA

- Register to win a *$500 Holiday Shopping Spree at the H-D Museum® Shop - Authentic H-D® gifts and collectibles - Customization Station: Create your own shirt

Don’t stick just anything in their stockings…shop with geeks, treasure hunters, artists and mad scientists for the most incredible stuff in Milwaukee! From robotic lizards and wooden catapult kits to beaker mugs and ludicrously-bright flashlights, American Science & Surplus has thousands of unique items to educate, entertain and most certainly give you a reason to giggle.

Large variety of high quality, local, raw and national brand pet foods. Free, same-day delivery for online orders over $49. Earn free food: we track Frequent Buyer Programs for you. Our friendly, knowledgeable award-winning staff is available 7 days a week. Best Of Milwaukee Winner Shepherd Express 2018, Channel 12 A-list Winner 2017, Milwaukee Magazine Readers Choice 2019. At Bark n Scratch Outpost we think outside the bag. milwaukeepetfood.com

BBC LIGHTING What does BBC stand for? Not British Broadcasting Corporation! BBC Lighting started off as the Badger Bulb Company in 1985. Boasting Wisconsin’s largest lighting showroom, you’re sure to find the right piece that fits your style. Wander the aisles and you’ll discover fun, quirky items that are unique to BBC, from vintage neon signs to antique copper diving helmets! The friendly sales staff are readily available for answers to all your lighting questions. A merry-go-round and free popcorn make this a family destination.

BILTRITE FURNITURELEATHER-MATTRESSES

*NO PURCHASE NECESSARY; void where prohibited. Open to U.S. residents, 18+. Three (3) separate daily sweepstakes: 12/7/19, 12/14/19, 12/21/19. Entry period coincides with Event days/hours. See Official Rules at H-D Museum Lobby and www.h-dmuseum.com.

Sponsor: Harley-Davidson Museum, LLC, 400 W. Canal St., Milwaukee, WI 53201.

A 4th generation local, family business that has proudly served the Milwaukee area since 1928 that takes pride in their quality, pricing and personal service.

Their specialties include affordable, better quality furniture and mattresses, mostly

2019 H-D or its affiliates. HARLEY-DAVIDSON, HARLEY, H-D, and the Bar and Shield Logo are among the trademarks of H-D U.S.A., LLC.

©

22 | D E C E M B E R 5 , 2 0 1 9 XXXXX Happy Harley Days Shep Ex Ad C1.indd 1

USA—and Amish-made, and small-scale furniture. They have a huge in-stock selection as well as affordable custom options with your choice of fabric, leather, wood, finish and hardware.

BOELTER SUPERSTORE Milwaukee’s top food service professionals and culinary enthusiasts shop sideby-side at our award-winning retail store.

Explore the latest in restaurant-quality equipment and supplies. Find inspiration for a new food service venture or create your dream home kitchen. Craft a new culinary creation. Inquire about our cooking classes!

Let’s pursue your passion.

BREW CITY BRANDS Established in 1986, Brew City Brand is a family-owned, Milwaukee-based company that designs and prints incredibly local products; it celebrates everything that makes Milwaukee iconic. You’ll find the perfect gift for that special someone (or for yourself!) to show off that unique Milwaukee pride—think t-shirts, glassware, can coozies, sweatshirts, socks, and more. Brew City has three retail locations—the Milwaukee Public Market, General Mitchell Field Airport and Southridge Mall or online at www.brewcityonline.com.

C3 DESIGNS A fabulous jewelry store located in South Milwaukee where you can find that one of a kind bauble your heart desires. Store owner, Chris Jensen, has won numerous local and national design awards for his unique jewelry creations. His expert staff will put you at ease as they assist you in creating a special jewelry piece that you can treasure for a lifetime.

CHRISTMAS IN THE WARD PRESENTED BY PNC Celebrate the 31st Anniversary of this old-fashioned Milwaukee favorite! It doesn’t get more “holiday” than fireworks, a tree lighting ceremony, live reindeer, and so much more. And don’t forget to stop and SHEPHERD EXPRESS

11/13/19 2:15 PM

visit the big guy himself—Santa! On Friday, December 6 (5:30-8:30pm) a festive month of holiday fun and shopping is kicked off in the Historic Third Ward.

COMPLETO Wisconsin’s first fair trade hemp grower and processer, this Veteran owned business sources its hemp locally from a farm that has been owned and continuously farmed by the same family since 1902, with a bootlegging history linked to Al Capone!

With 250 tillable acres, the hemp is grown with as much care as any crop that has been grown on the land—with respect to heritage. All product is third party tested at UW Parkside. Buy flowers or whole plant direct—by the ounce or the pound!

FISCHBERGER’S VARIETY Fischberger’s Variety, a one-of-a-kind gift shop masquerading as an old-time variety store, aims to have the finest and freshest build-your-own $20 gifts for all ages. You’ll find unique, thoughtful gifts including a large selection of books, quality toys, home goods, yarn and fun—cool stuff guaranteed!

HAPPY HARLEY DAYS AT THE H-D MUSEUM Come celebrate the holiday season with fun-filled Saturdays at the H-D Museum on Dec 7, Dec 14 & Dec 21. Take a tour through the museum with your Family Fun Guide or book a Highlights Tour and journey through the history of Harley-Davidson. They’ll have entertainment throughout the campus, Breakfast with Santa and holiday shopping.

Bonus: enter to win a $500 Holiday Shopping Spree at the H-D Museum Shop!

HOLLY JOLLY MARKET Join in all the holiday fun at The Granville Connection. Enjoy a day of shopping, sipping hot cocoa, holiday music from the Lloyd Stephens Band and a visit from Santa and Mrs. Claus themselves! The Holly Jolly Market is open 12-6pm on Saturday, Dec. 7. www.granvillebusiness.org

KILWINS Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate. Just about everyone loves chocolate, especially at the holidays, and Kilwins selection is made from the finest ingredients on earth. You’ll melt their hearts as it melts in their mouths. Don’t forget their luscious caramels, creamy ice cream or fudge. You can even take a class!

KNUCKLEHEADS Stop in at Knuckleheads and check out their new CBD Wellness Center. Visit on a Sunday and enjoy discounted CBD products! Discover why Knuckleheads was voted “Best of Milwaukee” Best Head Shop and Best Vape Shop in 2018.

LION KING/MARCUS CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS Coming to Milwaukee in 2020—the stage adaptation of the Academy Awardwinning 1994 Disney film. The Lion King is the story of a young lion prince living in the flourishing African Pride Lands when tragedy strikes. He flees, leaving the life he knew behind. When the weight of responsibility comes to find the adult prince, he must take on a formidable enemy, and SHEPHERD EXPRESS

fulfill his destiny to be king. The Lion King is a story of love and redemption that nobody should miss. February 5-March 1, 2020.

MILWAUKEE BEER GEAR Combining clever wordplay and beautifully simple design on their products, Milwaukee Beer Gear provides high-end beer paraphernalia for beer enthusiasts and amateurs alike. Folks of all ages— from brew city babies to seasoned cream city connoisseurs—are sure to enjoy this collection of apparel, drinkware and trinkets crafted by a local couple. www. milwaukeebeergear.com

MILWAUKEE MAKERS MARKET Home to your one-stop-shop local experience! The local Makers gather to bring you amazing art, gifts, clothes, jewelry, soaps, candles, goodies, and more! The final Market for the Holiday Pop-Up Shop is December 15th at Glass+Griddle/MKE Brewing. www. milwaukeemakersmarket.com

SPARROW COLLECTIVE A brick-and-mortar boutique and gift shop featuring contemporary clothing and artisan goods. Their local gallery sells handcrafted items such as printed tees, jewelry, accessories, bath and home goods, candles, gifts and so much more. Featuring monthly metalsmithing, jewelry, calligraphy and fiber classes in their Milwaukee shop.

SWAYE` TEA Relax-Love-Heal…Swaye` was created for the basic need to improve one’s health and they pride themselves on creating tea blends with maximum health benefits, no artificial flavors, and USDA Organic certified. Their goal is to educate customers new and old alike on how to live pharm-free.

Make a stop at their charming West Allis store and discover the healing power of tea.

Light Up the Holidays!

TRALEE IRISH IMPORTS Located just West of Wauwatosa on Vliet Street, Tralee brings you every food item from the Emerald Isle and the United Kingdom that you will ever want. From candy and potato chips to sausage and breads, Tralee offers the widest selection of Irish foods in Wisconsin. In addition to the food, Tralee also offers a selection of gifts.

Need a cup of tea? Tralee has handmade pottery and the teabags to go with. Stop in today for the leprechaun on your list or just treat yourself to the many selections of candy! traleeirishimports.com

YOUR CBD STORE-GREENFIELD This store carries the highest quality, award-winning CBD products—organically grown and third party tested. How many other CBD stores can say that? Come and visit our “boutique-style” store, enjoy free samples and expert advice. We can cater a plan to your needs, or you can choose from our wide variety of products. Gift certificates are available. Give the gift of CBD from the store that you trust, “Your CBD Store Greenfield.”

Come view thousands of the finest lighting fixtures in our huge showroom, or shop online for over 500,000 decorative lighting fixtures and ceiling fans.

BBC guarantees the lowest prices and will beat all competitors advertised prices.

OPEN EVERY DAY! Mon-Sat: 9-5 • Sun: 11-4 2015 W. St. Paul Ave. • Milwaukee, WI (414) 933-0808 • BBCLighting.com D E C E M B E R 5 , 2 0 1 9 | 23

Be Our Guest Drinks On Us! Have you ordered your Cocktail Trail craft cocktail coupon book?

Featuring discounts at 24 Milwaukee bars and restaurants, Cocktail Trail offers coupons for free or buy-one-get one drinks at participating establishments until May 2020.

Christmas Family Feast

Order online at shepstore.com

Also available in store at MKE Home, Sparrow Collective and Beard MKE

Use our interactive, up-to-date guide to find stores offering CBD oil products and other cannabis-related products

shepherdexpress.com/cbdshop

Free and open to the public SHEPHERD EXPRESS

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SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::A&E

Brought to you by The Milwaukee Art Museum

Wanzo calls it Black Nativity 2.0. Not only are the Bible characters black in Stampley’s production, they’re presented as contemporary Milwaukeeans. Hughes’ historical concerns are updated with graceful staging and set pieces that reference current social justice issues: Black Lives Matter (2016); Colin Kaepernick and police violence (2017); and #MeToo and Black Girl Magic (2018).

Stampley enlisted her cousin, Antoine Reynolds—music director for the largest black church in Milwaukee, Christian Faith Fellowship—to compose an original score that would cover black music history through hip hop.

She asked costume designer Beverly Echols for Afro-punk designs. She cast some of the city’s finest gospel singers, devised important children’s roles and put a whole community on stage. In three years, her Black Nativity has achieved something like legendary status. I’ve reviewed it for three years; it’s a knock-out. Whatever your faith, you can’t help but thrill to the music and dance, applaud the concerns and warm to the performers.

DAVE ZYLSTRA

JENNY PLEVIN

FEATURE | FILM | THEATRE | ART | BOOKS | CLASSICAL MUSIC | DANCE

Looking Back to Make Positive Change Black Arts MKE’s ‘Black Nativity’

BLACK ARTS MKE CELEBRATES FIVE YEARS with ‘BLACK NATIVITY 2.0’ ::BY JOHN SCHNEIDER

n 1961, the poet Langston Hughes, aware that African American history is embedded in gospel music and its progeny, crafted “a gospel song-play” named for one of the show’s big numbers, “Wasn’t That a Mighty Day.” The frame was the story of Jesus’ birth, told partly by narrators quoting the Bible but mostly through some two dozen songs performed by African American singers and dancers.

Black history and community were the subjects; black music from slave songs through 1950s jazz and blues were the means.

That history was very much still in the making in 1961 as the civil rights movement caught fire. To honor it, Hughes changed the title just before opening night to Black Nativity, a controversial move that provoked resignations from key collaborators, including choreographer Alvin Ailey. Although the Semitic people of Christianity’s foundational story had long been portrayed in the West as Caucasian, could the Angel of the Lord, the Mother of God and her baby look African?

Hughes’ script is largely an arrangement of traditional lyrics. No score is provided. No scenery is called for, “only a platform of various levels and a single glowing star high over a place that might be a manger.” In Milwaukee, the Hansberry-Sands Theatre Company had been performing a version for years. Black Arts MKE (born from the appropriately named Black Arts Think Tank) took over producing responsibilities in 2015 in partnership with the Marcus Center for the Performing Arts, which had embraced the organization as a resident.

Change came quickly. Barbara Wanzo, Black Arts MKE’s executive director, described the Hansberry-Sands production as “traditional gospel with older actors. I knew I wanted someone from a younger generation to direct it, an activist, someone who had something to say.” Wanzo found that person in Malkia Stampley, a founding member and former artistic director of Milwaukee’s Bronzeville Arts Ensemble. A graduate of Marquette University’s theater program, she’d become a professional actress working at The Rep and Skylight Music Theatre and in Chicago and New York. She was still an emerging director when she agreed to helm the 2016 production of Black Nativity.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

Along with Reynolds and Echols, the production team includes choreographer Christopher Gilbert. They began working with Stampley this year to devise ways to address the mass incarceration of African Americans in the 2019 production. Then, big news arrived: Stampley would be moving to New York some weeks before opening to join her husband, actor Chike Johnson.

Attempts were made, but, limited by time and funds, a Black Nativity 3.0, so to speak, proved unreachable.

“So, to celebrate our fifth year,” Wanzo says, “we’re celebrating the West African concept of Sankofa—looking back in order to make positive change.” Composer and music director Reynolds is also the stage director for what will largely be a reBlack mount of last year’s production, but with new musical Arts MKE arrangements and choreogBlack Nativity raphy.

Dec. 6-15 “What’s most important to Marcus Center’s us is to do the show very, very Wilson Theatre well,” Wanzo says. “What people at Vogel Hall come to see is entertainment that’s part of our DNA: the dancing, the music, the people—it’s who we are. And we’re trying not only to celebrate the culture but to share it with everybody, so everyone can value African American culture. Whatever social justice issues we’ll do, we’ll never depart from the dancing and singing. We’ll just make it better.”

“Hughes did an amazing job of humanizing salvation,” Reynolds says, “by putting Jesus in the midst of everyday people. What he did in the ’60s, we’ve just modernized. I honestly believe that if he were alive, the show he’d see here wouldn’t be too different from what he’d have done.

In the first act, it’s important to understand that Jesus isn’t far from your own situation. In the second, the unification of church and street is important, and to understand that we’re fighting the same fight from different perspectives.”

Dec. 6-15 at the Marcus Center’s Wilson Theatre at Vogel Hall, 929 N. Water St., with a special Community Night preview taking place on Thursday, Dec. 5. For tickets, call 414273-7206 or visit marcuscenter.org.

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::PERFORMINGARTSWEEK For More to Do, visit shepherdexpress.com

THEATRE

The Winter’s Tale

First Stage’s Young Company—a training program for advanced high school actors—will present William Shakespeare’s The Winter’s Tale as their first “Performance Project” of the season. Performance Projects are actor-driven presentations using elemental production values. By stripping down to a nearly bare stage, the connection of actor to audience is enhanced, and the words of the play are emphasized.

What better words to put center stage than The Bard’s, after all? These fully rehearsed studio projects allow First Stage’s students to showcase their graduate-level skills with full-length material.

The Winter’s Tale, one of Shakespeare’s late plays, explores multiple facets of the human condition: From false assumptions and lost children to truths revealed, redemption found and the appearance of marvelous wonders. It tells the story of wandering and separation leading, eventually. to a tearful and joyous reunion. Young Company director Matt Daniels says that The Winter’s Tale is his “personal favorite of all of Shakespeare’s plays. It is half tragedy, half comedy, full of music and magic, jealousy and redemption. It is one of Shakespeare’s last plays, and so the language is rich, textured and complex, making it a great training tool, and it has his greatest stage direction—if not the greatest stage direction of all time: Exit, pursued by a bear.” (John Jahn) Dec. 6-15 at the Milwaukee Youth Arts Center, 325 W. Walnut St. For tickets, call 414-267-2961 or visit firststage.org.

Henry V

Henry V is a history play by William Shakespeare that tells the story of the eponymous English king, focusing on the events immediately before and after the Battle of Agincourt (1415) during the Hundred Years’ War. It’s the final part of an English history tetralogy, preceded by Richard II, Henry IV, Part One and Henry IV, Part Two. The title character was depicted in the Henry IV plays as a wild, undisciplined young man, but in this epic finale, the young prince has matured. He embarks on an expedition to France and, his army badly outnumbered, fights the French at Agincourt. This Voices Found Repertory production will be directed by Alec Lachman and star Jake Thompson in the title role. (John Jahn) Dec. 6-15 at The Underground Collaborative, 161 W. Wisconsin Ave. For tickets, visit voicesfoundrep.com.

The Lilies of the Field

The Lilies of the Field, by F. Andrew Leslie from a novel by William E. Barrett, is a family friendly drama about a traveling handyman who answers the prayers of a group of refugee nuns. Having decided to travel about the country after his discharge from the army, Homer Smith (to be played by Randy Janowski) heads west with plans to stop when and where he senses he should do so. On his journey, he meets a group of German nuns in a predominantly Spanish-speaking town. His offer to fix their leaky roof leads him to a journey of self-discovery and faith that changes not just his life, but those of the nuns as well.

As soon as she heard that Village Playhouse’s directorship for The Lilies of the Field was available, Deanna Strasse jumped at the opportunity. “I had never read the script, but the movie [which starred Sidney Poitier as Homer] is a classic, and I knew that I wanted to be involved one way or another. The novel made quite a stir when it was first released in 1962, as did its movie counterpart. Our story will be a little different, but I feel it still carries the same message of hope, purpose, honor and family.” (John Jahn) Dec. 6-22 at Inspiration Studios, 1500 S. 73rd St. For tickets, call 414-207-4879, email theliliesofthefield@villageplayhouse.org or online through Brown Paper Tickets.

Holiday Season Plays and Concerts ::BY JOHN JAHN The Game’s Afoot: Holmes for the Holidays

It is December 1936, and Broadway star William Gillette, widely admired for his leading role in the play Sherlock Holmes, has invited fellow cast members to his Connecticut castle for a weekend of revelry. But when one of the guests is stabbed to death, the festivities in this isolated house of tricks and mirrors quickly turn dangerous in this whodunit set during the holidays.

Dec. 5-22 at Sunset Playhouse, 700 Wall St., Elm Grove. For tickets, call 262-4824430 or visit sunsetplayhouse.com.

It’s a Wonderful Life: A Live Radio Play

Written by Joe Landry and with music by Kevin Connors, this beloved American holiday classic comes to life as if it was presented in the 1940s as a radio show. With the help of an ensemble that brings a few dozen characters to the stage, the story of idealistic George Bailey unfolds as he considers ending his life one fateful Christmas Eve. This is a dinner theater show.

Dec. 6-15 at Memories Ballroom, 1077 Lake Drive, Port Washington. For tickets, call 262-284-6850 or visit memoriesballroom.com.

“Twelfth Night”

This Concord Chamber Orchestra concert features holiday-themed music from (or inspired by) William Shakespeare’s time. The program includes Lunatics and Lovers: Overture and Bacchanalia by Linda Robbins Coleman; Overture to Twelfth Night, Op. 73 by Mario Castelnuovo-Tedesco; Fantasia on Greensleeves

by Ralph Vaughan Williams; and the beloved opera Amahl and the Night Visitors

by Gian Carlo Menotti, featuring the Milwaukee High School of the Arts Choir.

Saturday, Dec. 7, at 7 p.m. at the Basilica of St. Josaphat, 333 S. Sixth St. For tickets, call 414-750-4404 or visit app.arts-people.com.

“The First Noel”

With guest artists Fitz Gary, viola, and the choirs of Brookfield Academy, Divine Savior, Hartford Union High School and Waukesha West High School, the Wisconsin Philharmonic invites you to celebrate the holiday season with this traditional holiday concert featuring seasonal chestnuts

by Leroy Anderson, Peter Tchaikovsky, Ludwig van Beethoven, George Frideric Handel and more.

Sunday, Dec. 8, at 3 p.m. at the Shattuck Music Center, 218 N. East Ave., Waukesha. For tickets, call 262-547-1858 or visit wisphil.org.

“Leslie Odom Jr.: A Holiday Special”

Best-known as Broadway hit Hamilton’s original cast member in the role of Aaron Burr, Leslie Odom Jr. joins the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra for a jazzy holiday concert. In this special event, Odom—a Grammy and Tony Award-winning vocalist—brings his smooth signature style to holiday classics like “I’ll Be Home for Christmas,” “First Noel,” “My Favorite Things” and many more.

Wednesday, Dec. 11, at 7:30 p.m. at the Riverside Theater, 116 W. Wisconsin Ave. For tickets, call 414-291-7605 or visit mso.org.

I h a te The film blog of the Shepherd Express by Managing Editor Dave Luhrssen

shepherdexpress.com/hollywood

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SHEPHERD EXPRESS

Book by

Harvey Fierstein

158 N. Broadway, Milwaukee, WI 53202 www.skylightmusictheatre.org • (414) 291-7800

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MATTHEW MURPHY

A&E::INREVIEW

Christmas Spirit (and a Funny Scrooge!) in The Rep’s Holiday Classic ::BY HARRY CHERKINIAN

‘The Band’s Visit’

‘The Band’s Visit’ Is a Masterpiece Like No Other ::BY JEAN-GABRIEL FERNANDEZ

T

o describe The Band’s Visit, currently playing at the Marcus Center for the Performing Arts, one could regurgitate a thesaurus, say it is exquisite, outstanding, splendid, wonderful, refined… All of it would be true. But if I were to pick a single word, it would be “peaceful.”

The quality of The Band’s Visit cannot be overstated, and it will definitely be one of those few pieces of art that leaves an indelible mark in the history of the performing arts. Despite being a relatively new musical (it premiered in December 2016), it already became one of only four musicals in history to win the “big six” Tony Awards: Best Musical, Best Book, Best Score, Best Actor, Best Actress and Best Direction.

The plot is exceedingly simple. A group of Egyptian musicians take the wrong bus and end up in a tiny, isolated town in Israel, and they have to spend the night with locals. The next morning, they take the first bus out of town. The end. There are no stakes, objectives or twists; simply a meandering tale that does away with traditional storytelling. It creates a unique ambiance where the soothing chill of an Israeli night is suffused with the warmth of human connections, with a gorgeous backdrop made up of the melodic and exotic tunes of the band’s Egyptian music. The night unfurls in a kaleidoscope of existences meeting, moving apart and intertwining with poetry and simple beauty.

The audience worms its way into the lives of café owner Dina (Chilina Kennedy), her employees, Itzik (Pomme Koch) and Papi (Adam Gabai), as well as their respective families, lovers and the world that gravitates around them. Leading the band and some of the show’s most powerful moments is Sasson Gabai as Tewfiq, a role he already played in the movie of the same name. Each performance is perfectly on point, depicting a deep understanding of language and cultural rifts. All the musical numbers are beautifully executed and choreographed, bringing clarity and rhythm to the story, and each has the potential to be a hit on its own.

The Band’s Visit is a rare confluence of the right authors, musicians, actors, technicians and artists to capture a fleeting bit of magic with beguiling Middle Eastern tones. In the end, nothing really happens, nobody really falls in love, no lives are really changed.

As Dina says, “Once not long ago, a group of musicians came to Israel from Egypt.

You probably didn’t hear about it. It wasn’t very important.” But it was certainly worth witnessing.

Through Dec. 1 at Marcus Center for the Performing Arts.

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nephew, Fred, and his wife entertaining friends on Christmas. After mocking Uncle Scrooge in a parlor game, the ensemble then comes slowly together to sing, beautifully expressing the meaning of Christmas in a gentle reminder of the true spirit of the season.

There are a number of strong performances: Reese Madigan as the ever-optimistic Bob Cratchit, who breaks our collective hearts in a touching scene with Tiny Tim; Todd Denning as the Ghost of Christmas Present, larger than life with a commanding voice to boot; Mark Corkins as Marley’s Ghost and Old Joe. And a special Christmas commendation to Christopher Peltier and Angela Iannone, playing four roles apiece, each distinctive and three-dimensional. They are the earthly guiding spirits in A Christmas Carol and anchor this production.

Reprising his role as Scrooge, Jonathan Wainwright fits this production perfectly, literally and figuratively speaking. His slight, diminutive frame embodies Scrooge’s crippled spirit. We watch him as he slowly allows himself to feel again, as he unfolds and assumes his emotional stature, coming back to a life of connectedness with others.

As Dickens originally wrote: “I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.” That is the lesson Scrooge finally learns in A Christmas Carol. And it is the best of lessons for all of us.

Through Dec. 24 at Pabst Theater, 144 E. Wells St. MICHAEL BROSILOW

T

hat Ebenezer Scrooge! Who knew that the miserable miser could be so funny?

In the Milwaukee Repertory Theater’s 44th production of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, the ageless tale of loss and (eventual) redemption is made merry with plenty of classic holiday songs, visual gags and enough funny bits to make the scary parts (those certain ghosts) not so scary, even for all the young ones in the audience. That makes this two-hour production (with a 20-minute intermission) a fast-paced sleigh ride through Mr. Bah Humbug’s past, present and future, courtesy of the three (not scary) ghosts.

They visit Scrooge’s school in the hopes of rekindling kindness in his hardened heart. As adapted and directed by Mark Clements, this Scrooge is less bark-and-bite and more emotionally poor lost soul in need of a ghostly nudge here and there. This path to redemption is filled with humor and laughs, harder to see given the gentler, kinder direction from the start.

The standout moments are the most serious and poignant, filled with a genuine tenderness: 45 minutes in, we see a young adult Scrooge dancing with his beloved Belle, as the old Scrooge dances next to the pair, his arms empty, devoid of emotion. The young couple anticipating a life to come filled with love and hope; the elder Scrooge having lived it now, knowing nothing but bitterness and regret.

The most striking part might be Scrooge’s

The Rep’s ‘A Christmas Carol’ SHEPHERD EXPRESS

A&E::VISUALART

SPONSORED BY

OPENINGS: 2019 Art and Design BA/ BFA Fall Exhibition

Dec. 4-Jan. 11 Kenilworth Square East Gallery 2155 N. Prospect Ave. UW-Milwaukee’s Department of Art and Design showcases the work of its graduating BA and BFA students in this exhibition, which “officially” kicks off with a free and open to the public reception featuring the artists and remarks from art and design faculty on Saturday, Dec. 14, 5-7 p.m. in the exhibit space. Represented in this exhibition are nine studio art ma-

Installation view of Mike Pare’s ‘Best of the Last 50 Years’ exhibition at Green Gallery

jors showcasing a year-long exploration of creative studio practice and 16 studio

PHOTO BY MYRICA VON HASELBERG COURTESY OF THE GREEN GALLERY

Mike Paré’s Trippy, Punchy, Offbeat ‘Last 50 Years’

M

ike Paré’s current exhibition at the Green Gallery, “Best of the Last 50 Years,” offers plenty of stand-alone works that require no additional context to enjoy. There are literally hundreds of individual pieces, on the walls salonstyle and in folios which visitors can freely page through.

Any well-curated group of 12 or 16 of these, framed, 60-inches on center, would make for a perfectly engaging show, demonstrating his fluid, confident handling of various drawing media and trippy, punchy, offbeat subject matter; but the show opts to go in a very different direction. Rather than isolating works as autonomous conclusions of a single artistic act, it pans out as far as possible and takes Paré’s life in art as a holistic subject. The main wall of the Green Gallery is covered in drawings spanning decades, interrupted only by a skateboard and a vintage table displaying books about the infamous cult figure Rajneesh.

Over this table hang two detailed drawings of the controversial mystic.

Nearby, a number of other drawings appear to reference mandalas and meditative geometries, while a technically accomplished graphite rendering of a cross-legged nude female figure alludes to meditation more directly. The transcendental-ish inference on the wall is brought firmly to earth, however, by an actual motorcycle in the center of the gallery on whose black gas tank Paré has executed an original drawing in white paint.

The discursive narrative continues to unfold in the back gallery, where an assorted array of videos, zines, drawings, prints, T-shirts, cozies and incense are on full display as if the Green Gallery was having a stoop sale. Paré’s subjective expansiveness brings up a fascinating issue pertaining to our basic assumptions about artistic production. Is art the product of making, the act of making, the concept of making or the life lived around art making? Perhaps life itself is art? The contemporary art world has preferred the most former of this list, happy to separate the artist from his work. The high priests, of course, love a good biographical backstory, but only inasmuch as it complements individual artifacts. It’s difficult to invoice someone for the purchase of life and spirit after all.

I thought of Joseph Beuys as I sifted through Paré’s sundries in SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::BY SHANE MCADAMS

the back room of the Green Gallery. Like Beuys, Paré’s work is interested in maintaining a total understanding of art, or Gesamtkunstwerk, as the German termed it. Beuys always considered the artist as a sort of grand spiritual diviner of worldly meaning rather than simply a maker of things. The artist was to be a liver, knower, teacher and general shamanic visionary. Paré comes across as a groovier pop-culture counterpoint to Beuys’ more intense historical version, living out the comprehensive pursuit of art coolly and casually in this show marking his 50th year of life on the planet.

Additionally, both Beuys and Paré seem particularly interested in defining the terms of their artifacts’ display and classification, because, again, life is the subject, not simply the material souvenirs it deposits. “Life itself” is slippery, though. It’s an abstraction, but one that confers meaning on a concrete art object as surely as faith does religions and fiat currencies. Though such abstractions are fundamental, the artifacts and rituals are the stuff our fleshy bodies indulge in. And Paré’s stuff is pretty extraordinary. His ink drawings of rockers, bikers, boozy Santa Clauses, urns, cowboys and artists are loose, fast, rollicking and yet surprisingly sophisticated. One could spend hours leafing through his hundreds of individual drawings and leave the gallery perfectly satisfied.

On the back wall above two long shelves of magazines and folios of Paré’s drawings, two adjacent graphite works from his time in the Bay Area capture different visions of private euphoria. They seem to touch something primary about Paré’s interests. One depicts a portrait of an individual with a crystal drawn to his or her forehead, and the other a crowd of beer-swigging young male fans, perhaps at a music concert, obscured slightly by a foreground of rippling marks. They reiterate Paré’s fascination with ritual and practice, in art, and through various cults, cliques, tribes and demimondes that give meaning to social existence (he may be even more Tocquevillian than Beuysian in the end).

One will leave “Best of the Last 50 Years” with the feeling Paré sees subcultures like skateboarding, motorcycling, ’ziners, and, of course, the art world itself, as so many parallel universes, possessing the same basic spirits, whose particular rituals and symbols are all that truly separate them.

art, community art, design studies and digital fabrication and design majors displaying creative research projects.

“Jan Serr: A Painter’s Photographs of India” Special Event Tuesday, Dec. 10, 5:30-8 p.m.

The Warehouse 1635 W. St. Paul Ave. The Coalition of Photographic Arts (CoPA) invites you to a special evening at The Warehouse with Milwaukee painter and printmaker Jan Serr. The artist will guide attendees through her current exhibition, “Jan Serr: A Painter’s Photographs of India,” sharing personal stories about the work and her transition from painting to photography. It all starts with light refreshments, libations, mingling, schmoozing and tours of the Guardian art storage facility, as well as the Pop-Up Gallery where CoPA will be exhibiting “Favorite Works” during the April 2020 Gallery Night and Day. Serr’s program will begin at 6:30 p.m. Attendance is free to CoPA and N Studios members, students with identification and first-time guests ($10 otherwise). For more information, call 414-252-0677 or visit copamilwaukee.com or thewarehousemke.org/exhibitions.

D E C E M B E R 5 , 2 0 1 9 | 33

A&E::FILM

It’s a Beautiful Film for Tom Hanks

T

::BY DAVID LUHRSSEN

Rhys gets the easy role. Vogel is full of himhere are two schools of thought on Mister Rogers. One sees him self, his workaholism a barrier against selfas a benign role model—and knowledge. He’s bitter about his old man (Chris not just for children. The other Cooper) and won’t let go of his anger. He’s a pegs him as an insipid fool, a pied- damaged piece of the world. Describing his encounter with Rogers, Vogel tells his wife Andrea piper of feel-good nostrums.

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood embod- (Susan Kelechi Watson) with an ironic edge, “He’s just about the nicest peries the two schools with a proson I’ve ever met.” tagonist, Fred Rogers himself Hanks has the hard part. He (Tom Hanks), and an antagoA Beautiful fully inhabits the cardigan-wearnist, the cynical journalist Lloyd Day in the ing figure familiar to millions Vogel (Matthew Rhys) who rewho grew up with him—or Neighborhood sents his assignment from Esgrew up with the parodies that quire to interview the TV host.

Tom Hanks proliferated after a while. MisThe gap between the two Matthew Rhys ter Rogers is easy to parody but men has less to do with their Directed by Hanks dials it right. He gets that professed values than in the way Marielle Heller pinched but authentic smile, that they act on them. At an awards awkward yet assured body lanceremony for journalism, Vogel Rated PG guage, that peculiar emotional describes his profession thus: essence. Mister Rogers is like ‘We get to fix a broken world with words.” He is a humanist in abstract who the kindly dentist who assures you it won’t hurt doesn’t like humanity. Mister Rogers, on the and even when it does, the memory is less about other hand, tried to fix the world one piece—one pain than his warm, chair-side manner.

In the course of the conversations at the heart person—at a time. Instead of talking about humanity, Rogers actually liked people and tried to of A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, the film explores the subversive mission of Fred Rogers. engage each one on his or her level.

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With Christ as his unstated role model, Rogers gave lessons in selfless love leading to compassion, empathy and acceptance— a message many self-professed Christians have disavowed.

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood is inspired by Tom Junod’s 1998 Esquire profile, “Can You Say… Hero?” The material is interpreted imaginatively by director Marielle Heller (Can You Ever Forgive Me?) and screenwriters Micah FitzermanBlue and Noah Harpster. Mister Rogers Crayola-colored neighborhood bleeds into the empty bustle of Vogel’s ostensibly real world. Suddenly buildings are models, the cars roll out of matchboxes and the moon hangs on a string from the painted sky.

The screenplay also touches minor keys in Rogers’ happy ‘A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood’ melody. Vogel receives no answer when he asks about the “burden” of being Mister RogAware that American television existed largely to sell things, with kids shows mining an emerg- ers. Asked about his own children, Rogers coning market, Rogers used the medium instead cedes that it wasn’t Easy Street. And yet, Rogers as a way of giving children vivid examples of comes across as deeply perceptive. His will for how to live. Although Rogers was an ordained empathy allows him to see past the facades VoPresbyterian minister, there were no churches gel erects. Anyone, in fact, could see through Voin his neighborhood, just individuals who were gel but most people are too preoccupied to look sometimes afraid, angry, vulnerable or hurt. closely at anyone—even themselves.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

[ HOME MOVIES / NOW STREAMING ]

[ FILM CLIPS ] Dark Waters PG-13

n An American Werewolf in London Limited Edition

Mark Ruffalo portrays mild-mannered corporate attorney Robert Bilott, responsible for suing the DuPont chemical company after it poisoned residents of Parkersburg, W.Va. The difficulties confronted by Bilott are brought to life in Ruffalo’s Oscar-worthy portrayal. Spanning two decades, director Todd Haynes’ work forms a confident screenplay that quietly shatters the notion that we should place our trust in government oversight. When it looks, sounds or tastes wrong, it probably is. (Lisa Miller)

A pair of backpacking American students are hiking in England’s bleak northlands when attacked by a snarling beast. One is pronounced dead, the other awakens weeks later in a London hospital. He had bad dreams. Will nightmares come true? The new packaging of director John Landis’ 1981 film is a deluxe edition complete with full-size fold-out poster and an illustrated booklet, detailing how make-up artist Rich Baker transformed actors into hirsute beasts and decomposing corpses.

Knives Out PG-13 Writer-director Rian Johnson reconceives the old whodunnit as a saucy comedy. When best-selling crime novelist Harlan Thrombey (Christopher Plummer) is found dead on the morning after his 85th birthday gathering, private detective Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig) arrives determined to find the writer’s killer. Seen largely from the perspective of Thrombey’s maid, Marta (Ana de Armas), we meet his heirs: elegant Linda (Jamie Lee Curtis), sincere Walt (Michael Shannon) and widowed Joni (Toni Collette), along with their various offspring. It seems everyone is dying to get their hands on the old man’s money. Thrombey’s rambling mansion, replete with secret passageways and hidden rooms, helps reveal the loose screws in his dysfunctional family. (L.M.)

Queen & Slim R After meeting on an online dating site, Queen (Jodie Turner-Smith) and Slim (Daniel Kaluuya) are nearing the end of their first date when they shoot and kill a white cop in what they believe is self-defense. A video of the incident goes viral, splashing the pair’s faces across the news as the manhunt ramps up. Fugitives Queen and Slim are helped by the black community in this thinly plotted, heavily atmospheric film that relies on its hip-hop soundtrack to deliver much of its social commentary. (L.M.)

(ARROW VIDEO)

n Humble Pie: Life & Times of Steve Marriott + 1973 Complete Winterland Show (CLEOPATRA RECORDS)

As a member of ’60s mod group The Small Faces and ’70s hard-rock band Humble Pie, Steve Marriott was always on pitch and ready to hit the high notes. As the documentary included here reveals, Marriott began as a child actor in the original London production of Oliver! The documentary includes rare footage and interviews with Peter Frampton and other colleagues. The set also includes a DVD and CD of a 1973 Humble Pie concert.

n Un Flic (KINO LORBER)

For his 1972 film Un Flic (A Cop), director Jean-Pierre Melville was indebted to America and France. Un Flic is two-parts Hollywood crime drama and one-part French New Wave. Working from a laconic screenplay, Melville tells his story of bank robbers (and the cop who goes to work when the city goes to sleep) visually—with sharp editing—and audibly through judicious touches of music. Un Flic stars Alain Delon and icily elegant Catherine Deneuve.

n Tamango (KINO LORBER)

The first we see of Dorothy Dandridge is a glimpse of her leg. Exiled blacklisted director John Berry brought a touch of Hollywood into a film that catches some of the transactional and physical horror of the slave trade. Curt Jurgens plays the skipper of a slave ship as a profit-driven pragmatist in this 1958 production. Dandridge plays his mixed-race personal slave and adds requisite cinematic sex appeal. The complicity of West African rulers is depicted.

—David Luhrssen

December 5 – 7, 2019

Shop the annual sale of student & alumni work for one-of-a-kind gifts!

Preview Night Sale

Admission $10 Thurs., Dec. 5, 6 – 9 p.m.

Free Admission

Fri., Dec. 6, 5 – 9 p.m.

Sat., Dec. 7, 10 a.m. – 5 p.m.

Proceeds support the artists and designers, and MIAD student scholarships.

miad.edu/holidaysale

Find creative gifts for everyone on your list.

SPONSORED BY

#MIADholiday SHEPHERD EXPRESS

Wondrous and One of a Kind

273 E. Erie St.

Rainbow Bowl Set $120/$108 Member $20/$18 each

mam.org/store D E C E M B E R 5 , 2 0 1 9 | 35

A&E::BOOKS

BOOK|REVIEWS

Sticking It to the Man:

Revolution and Counterculture in Pulp and Popular Fiction, 1950 to 1980 (PM PRESS), EDITED BY ANDREW NETTE AND IAIN MCINTYRE The 1950s through the 1970s saw an explosion in paperback publishing. It wasn’t the vanity house routine of nowadays but involved actual publishers who paid modest advances, possessed a distribution network and the hope of eking out a profit. Sticking It to the Man is a collection of essays and interviews that examine certain sectors of that pulp fiction industry, especially novels dealing with crime, the Vietnam War, African Americans, gays and militant politics. The title is a bit misleading: As some of the essayists concede, the era’s pulp writers often took the side of the Man and the novels of Chester Himes revealed complicated attitudes about black cops, their white superiors and the community they patrolled. Included in Sticking It to the Man is a provocative interview by Milwaukee writer Eric Beaumont with author Nathan Heard. The collection is a fascinating look at how society was represented by writers working below the radar of the literary establishment. (David Luhrssen)

BOOK||PREVIEW

Tehran Children:

A Holocaust Refugee Odyssey (W.W. NORTON),

BY MIKHAL DEKEL The author’s father seldom spoke of the past. She knew only the bare outlines: he fled from Poland ahead of the Nazis and spent a year in a seemingly unlikely refuge, Iran, before arriving in Israel.

Not until she was far from that past, teaching at the City College of New York, did the author begin to fill in the blank spaces. To research Tehran Children, Mikhal Dekel followed her late father’s journey from Poland through Soviet forced labor camps in Central Asia. She didn’t dare cross the border into the next leg of his journey, Iran, but an Iranian-born colleague from CUNY helped with the leg work. Teheran Children illuminates a forgotten chapter of the Holocaust concerning several thousand Jews who escaped annihilation via a dangerous route. Many stories of determination, cruelty and kindness are uncovered along the way.

(David Luhrssen) 36 | D E C E M B E R 5 , 2 0 1 9

Biographer Explores the Enthralling Life of Alice Adams ::BY JENNI HERRICK

C

arol Sklenicka is a writer who writes about writers. More precisely, the former Marquette University and MIAD faculty member is the author of a 2009 notable biography of the essayist and poet Raymond Carver, as well as a recently released comprehensive account of the life of short-story writer and novelist Alice Adams. The New York Times Book Review named Sklenicka’s debut publication, Raymond Carter: A Writer’s Life, one of the 10 best books of 2009 for its judicious and thorough account of Carter’s tumultuous life and writings. In Alice Adams: Portrait of a Writer, Sklenicka breathes new life into an esteemed American writer whose work spanned four decades and whose enthralling narratives captured the intimate lives of relatable female characters. With her thorough research and captivating details, Sklenicka has crafted an intimate portrait of this beloved writer’s life and her contributions to the literary canon.

Sklenicka will headline a free event at Boswell Book Co. on Friday, Dec. 6, at 7 p.m., where she will engage in conversation with local author Martha Bergland.

Bergland is the author of the novels A Farm Under a Lake and Idle Curiosity as well as a biography on Wisconsin naturalist Increase Lapham. The evening will also include a dramatic reading by Milwaukee-based actor Flora Coker, a core member of Milwaukee’s esteemed Theatre X.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::OFFTHECUFF

Sixty Years of Theater in Hartland

What ages are the youth actors?

Academy students range from age 3 to 18. They usually start around 8 or 9.

OFF THE CUFF WITH LAKE COUNTRY PLAYHOUSE’S KATIE BERG ::BY GRACE MATSON

K

What’s the biggest challenge in working with youth?

Our capacity is the biggest challenge. The kids really work hard. They are always asking, “What’s next?” But our theatre is small, and we have a full season of mainstage productions to accommodate in addition to our youth shows. So, we’ve adopted the church across the street as the home for our educational programming.

atie Berg is director of education and marketing, as well as a voice teacher, for Lake Country Playhouse in Hartland, Wis. She has devoted much of her life to this theater. She began acting there at age 10—her first role was Alice in Alice in Wonderland. She began voice lessons at age 12.

What is the history of Lake Country Playhouse?

My grandmother, Ruth Behrend, was one of the founding members in 1959. An article run in the Lake Country Reporter that year inspired its formation, and in that first year there were two performances of Sabrina Fair, a romantic comedy by Samuel Taylor that had opened on Broadway in November of 1953. The Lake Country Players performed at various locations throughout Waukesha County before finding its present home in 2002, a former Masonic lodge. There were several fundraisers to renovate it to this little black box. I had several cousins who wanted to perform, and so in 2003 my grandmother began directing children’s productions.

How many kids audition and how many actually perform?

About 90 out of 120 kids who audition will perform. It’s always hard to tell them no, because we know they have the ability to succeed.

What is the mission of Lake Country Playhouse?

To entertain, educate and engage audiences by being committed to providing exceptional theater to the Lake Country area.

Tell me a bit about your history.

I attended NYU Tisch School of the Arts, majoring in musical theater. Then I transferred to UW-Madison and minored in business and marketing. After college, I started my theatrical career at Skylight Music Theatre. Before my grandmother retired, she brought me on the board at Lake Country Playhouse. I became director of education and marketing in 2014. I started the Playhouse’s Performing Arts Academy shortly after.

How many performances per year?

There are six academy productions and six mainstage productions. Next summer, we’ll have two casts of Little Mermaid Jr., and one cast of Once on this Island Jr.

Explain a little about marketing.

I do posters, programs, manage the website, take interviews and run community engagement events. The goal is to let people know who we are.

How are you celebrating your 60th season?

We’re planning a community-wide celebration in June! We’ll invite original and current members of our theater community and have a program that features six decades of theater in Hartland. Details are being worked on as we speak.

How long have you been a voice coach?

I started teaching voice in 2014 in a studio at Hartland Music. Now, I work mostly with Playhouse Academy Students. I teach them to project their voices and to really perform the text and not just sing to be singing.

How can people learn more?

Visit lakecountryplayhousewi.org. You’ll find a list of casts, reviews, ticket prices and show times. Lake Country Playhouse is located at 221 E. Capitol Drive in Hartland.

Katie Berg PHOTO BY JES SUDBRINK

Ex te n ded!

added Performances 5! n Ja h ug ro th

Book by Thomas Meehan and Bob Martin Music by Matthew Sklar Lyrics by Chad Baguelin Based on the New Line Cinema film by David Berenbaum Presented through special arrangement with Music Theatre International (MTI). All authorized performance materials are also supplied by MTI. www.MTIShows.com

NOW THROUGH JANUARY 5, 2020 SUGGESTED FOR FAMILIES WITH YOUNG PEOPLE AGES 8 – 18+

FirstStage.org/elf

Sponsored by:

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

D E C E M B E R 5 , 2 0 1 9 | 37

Know Your Status.

::HEARMEOUT OUT ASK RUTHIE | UPCOMING EVENTS | PAUL MASTERSON

Get Tested.

FREE HIV AND STD TESTING AT OUR BRADY STREET LOCATION MONDAY AND TUESDAY NIGHTS. NO APPOINTMENT NEEDED.

::ASKRUTHIE SPONSORED BY

BESTD C·L·I·N·I·C

BESTD Clinic, 1240 E. Brady Street Go to bestd.org for more information.

WINNER OF THE JEWELERS OF AMERICA’S 2019 CASE AWARD

Making Merry in Milwaukee

W

hether you’re decking the halls, hauling out holly or stuffing your stockings this week, there’s a ho-ho-ho lot to do when celebrating Saint Nick in Cream City. There’s so much going on, in fact, that I’m skipping the advice portion of this week’s column to better offer you a few of the unique events you may want to check out. Put your holiday season spirit on display with plays, parties, concerts, get-togethers and more! Take a look at my social calendar and make a little merry this year Milwaukee style!

::RUTHIE’SSOCIALCALENDAR Dec. 4-7—‘Even More Holiday Tales with John McGivern’ at The Northern Lights Theater (1721 W. Canal St.): The city’s favorite funny man takes to the stage once again with a new set of delightful stories about his childhood holidays on Milwaukee’s East Side. Sure to tickle your festive funny bone and warm your wintery heart, it’s a great way to usher in the holidays. Nab your tickets at ticketmaster.com.

Dec. 5—Holiday Party at Walker’s Pint (818 S. Second St.): Grab your friends and get your “ho, ho, ho” when you head over to Walker’s Pint for this annual yuletide bash. The fun starts at 5:30 p.m. and includes food, music, drink specials and a visit from Santa Claus himself.

Dec. 5—Parent-Guardian Social at the Milwaukee LGBT Community Center (1110 N. Market St.): Parents, guardians and caretakers of LGBTQ youth are invited to this casual get-together. Meet other parents facing the same questions and concerns you might have, make some new friends and more. Project Q is open at the same time (5:30-7:00 p.m.), so bring your kid along, too! Visit mkelgbt.org for more information.

Dec. 5— Ginger Minj’s Holiday Spectacular Show’ at Hamburger Mary’s (730 S. Fifth St.): Ru Paul fan favorite Ginger Minj struts her silly stuff into Cream City for a fabulous holiday show.

Comedy, songs and more make this 8 p.m. show one you’ll never forget. Best of all, Ginger is bringing a special guest along for the ride: Tora Himan, winner of “Camp Wannakiki, Season Two.” That’s two comedy queens for the price of one! Pick up your $20 tickets at gingermke.brownpapertickets.com.

Dec. 6—Champagne and Art Tour at Saint Kate—The Arts Hotel (139 E. Kilbourn Ave.): Make the most of the season with this change-of-pace happy hour. Enjoy a free glass of bubbly as you take in a 45-minute guided tour of the hotel’s remarkable art collection. Meet in the lobby near the reception desk but be sure to arrive early; the tour is only open to the first 15 in attendance. Can’t make it? Not to worry! The art tour takes place every Friday at 4 p.m.

38 | D E C E M B E R 5 , 2 0 1 9

Dec. 6—Christmas in the Ward (various locations throughout the Historic Third Ward): Shop, party, mix and mingle as this Downtown Milwaukee location kicks off the shopping season with this annual bash. Starting at 5:30 p.m., the evening includes fireworks, bands, dancers, carolers, reindeer, cookies, visits with Santa Claus and other sights perfect for the entire family. See historicthirdward.org for a full lineup of events, including the tree lighting ceremony, carriage rides and much more.

Dec. 7-26—‘The Nutcracker’ at Uihlein Hall of the Marcus Center for the Performing Arts (929 N. Water St.): This Milwaukee tradition promises to enchant children of all ages. If you haven’t seen the impressive spectacle before, why not start a new tradition this year? Get yourself all dolled up and take in the majesty of the Milwaukee Ballet this season. It’s easy when you order tickets ($40 to $115) at ticketmaster.com.

Dec. 8—Toy Drive at Kruz (354 E. National Ave.): Castaways Levi/Leather Social Group hosts another infamous beer-soda bust, this time raising donations for Children’s Hospital. Bring a new toy and receive a few free raffle tickets during the 3-7 p.m. bash.

Dec. 8-23—‘Golden Girls Holiday Spectacular’ Dinner Theater and Show at Hamburger Mary’s (730 S. Fifth St.): Dinner and a show? What a “golden” way to ring in the holidays! Join Purse String Productions as they feature Dorothy (Dear Ruthie), Blanche (Dita Von), Rose (Brandon Herr) and Sophia (B.J. Daniels) in an all-new parody by Anthony Torti. Your $39 ticket includes dinner, dessert and the hilarious show, in addition to access to the holiday marketplace featuring local vendors. See mkegoldengirls.brownpapertickets.com to make reservations.

Ask Ruthie a question or share your events with her at dearruthie@shepex.com. Follow her on Instagram @ruthiekeester and Facebook at Dear Ruthie. Don’t miss the Halloween special from her reality show, Camp Wannakiki, Season Two, on YouTube.

Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::MYLGBTQPoint of View

It’s That Time Again… for Endof-Year Giving ::BY PAUL MASTERSON

W

ith the last of the Thanksgiving leftover green bean casserole beyond the verge of congealing and the mere thought of turkey tetrazzini inducing acid reflux, it’s once again time to embrace (or face begrudgingly) the upcoming holidays’ spirit and consider this year’s end-of-year giving strategies.

Actually, you should already be in full holiday-spending swing. Apparently, Americans spend nearly $30 billion from Thanksgiving through Giving Tuesday. And that’s just for online sales. In fact, the 2019 holiday season is projected to be the first to ever top the trillion dollar mark in total sales.

Meanwhile, despite our nation’s apparent prosperity and unrelenting consumerism, there is still an incredible need for charitable giving.

You may have noticed some of those pesky endof-year giving emails and letters that are already pouring in. And then, there’s that incessant Salvation Army bell ringing to guilt passersby into throwing some cash into those infamous red buckets. I recommend resisting the temptation. That group’s official opposition to marriage equality is a matter of record, and while it

now claims to adhere to laws against discrimination vis-à-vis the LGBTQ community, it is a religious organization that can take advantage of anti-LGBTQ religious liberty laws where they apply. In any case, there are lots of other options to support our community directly.

Milwaukee has a good number of LGBTQ philanthropic organizations that support the full range of community needs. Cream City Foundation (CCF) offers grants and programs based on a three-tenet strategy of equity, health and prosperity. Its outreach is broad and inclusive, serving a diverse spectrum of worthy causes.

In 2015, CCF launched its scholarship program that has since awarded financial support to dozens of students at all advanced study levels and in a broad range of disciplines.

The Gay/Lesbian Community Fund (G/L CF) provides its donors with a roster of LGBTQ dedicated groups to which they may direct their financial support. In recent years, the G/L CF has added several new beneficiaries like Diverse & Resilient, the MPS Alliance School and Courage MKE. It has also just established a partnership with the United Way. The Women’s Fund of Milwaukee’s Lesbian Fund offers annual grants dedicated to leadership development, anti-violence, reproductive justice and programming for increased visibility to reduce isolation of lesbian girls and women.

It partners with various community organizations like Planned Parenthood of Wisconsin, Lesbian Alliance and the Reproductive Justice Collective, among many others.

Another scholarship fund has been established by Milwaukee GAMMA as part of its philanthropic “GAMMA Gives” program. In the coming year, the group plans to make its inaugural scholarship awards to LGBTQ-identified students in arts-related fields of study.

Making a donation to any of these groups makes a significant impact on the quality of life of Milwaukee’s LGBTQ community. Whether in health care, senior or youth issues, recreation, the arts or education, it is incumbent upon us to care for our own. It also insures a future of continued services and programs for the up-andcoming members of our community.

Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n

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WHETHER IN HEALTH CARE, SENIOR OR YOUTH ISSUES, RECREATION, THE ARTS OR EDUCATION, IT IS INCUMBENT UPON US TO CARE FOR OUR OWN. SHEPHERD EXPRESS

D E C E M B E R 5 , 2 0 1 9 | 39

::MUSIC MUSIC

For more MUSIC, log onto shepherdexpress.com shepherdexpress

ZOE RAIN

FEATURE | ALBUM REVIEWS | CONCERT REVIEWS | LOCAL MUSIC

O.A.R.

O.A.R. Ventures onto New Paths with ‘The Mighty’ ::BY ALAN SCULLEY

ne thing fans of O.A.R. know when they come to one of the band’s concerts is that there’s no predicting what songs they’ll hear—which is exactly the way the band intends it.

“Every O.A.R. show is unique. We change things up every night,” says saxophonist-guitarist Jerry DePizzo. “No set list is ever the same. We always do a great job, I think, of balancing the concert staples. They evolve over time and really grow and evolve from tour to tour. We pull out a couple of rarities each show, because we know folks travel and go to multiple O.A.R. shows a year and throughout the year. So, we switch up and provide variety for them. But we’ve got 10 songs on this new record, and we intend on putting all 10 out there.”

That new album is The Mighty, the first studio release from O.A.R. in five years. And you guessed it, there’s no telling how many of the new tunes will be in the set list at any given show.

“Whatever feels right from night to night is what we do,” DePizzo explains.

“But I think we do a good job providing a unique show every night, a unique experience, yet one that kind of has a good blend of staples, rarities and new stuff.”

The care O.A.R. puts into their live shows has been a major factor in a career that has seen steady growth. Formed in 1997 in Rockville, Md., by original members singerguitarist Marc Roberge, guitarist Richard On, bassist Benj Gershman and drummer Chris Culos (DePizzo joined ahead of the group’s 1998 sophomore effort, Soul’s Aflame) the group now headlines amphitheaters in many cities.

Over the years since, O.A.R. has released a steady stream of studio albums (The Mighty is the band’s ninth studio release) that have found the five musicians continually improving on their abilities to capture inspired performances in the studio, plus five concert albums that have documented the growth of O.A.R. as a live band and the ongoing evolution of songs from across the group’s catalog.

With The Mighty, DePizzo thinks O.A.R. made an album that will both please long-time fans and serve as a good introduction to the group for those just discovering the band.

40 | D E C E M B E R 5 , 2 0 1 9

Timely and Classic

“This record just feels great to us. We’re extremely proud of it,” he says. “And I think we’ve made a very timely record, and also classic at the same time. So, if you’ve known and loved O.A.R. throughout our 20-year history, there’s plenty of material on this record for you. And if you are new to O.A.R., this is just a great launching pad for you to go discover the rest of our stuff.”

The Mighty finds O.A.R. touching on the various styles that have long been trademarks of the group’s music. Several songs (including “Be Easy” and “Knocking at Your Door”) boast reggae rhythms and infectious pop melodies—a stylistic fusion that has been a hallmark of the O.A.R. sound from the start. There’s also a decided island vibe to “Oh My,” a cheery tune with horns providing a prominent hook. On “Miss You All the Time,” “California” and “Free,” the group’s sound leans more toward folk-pop, as the agreeable melodies and sunny vibes of the songs come wrapped in a nice blend of acoustic and modern synthetic textures topped off with uplifting backing vocals and harmonies. The group’s ability to craft appealing ballads continues on the stripped back “All Because of You.” But DePizzo also feels the album takes the group down some new paths, beginning with the production from the group’s go-to producer, Gregg Wattenberg and Pom Pom, a young producer who works for Wattenberg.

“Pom Pom is someone with a Midwest sensibility and a New York style and taste,” he says. “She’s somebody who grew up on O.A.R.,” DePizzo says.

“So, she’s somebody who grew up on O.A.R. and is helping O.A.R. make a new O.A.R. We got a fresh perspective—and a fresh female perspective—on kind of the sonics and the sounds and the textures of the record. That really O.A.R. helped us introduce our classic songwriting in maybe Saturday, modern sonic textures.”

Dec. 7 With The Mighty out, O.A.R. has a chance to connect with fans and allow older songs to evolve. “You’re The Rave never done with a record. You just have to turn it in,” DePizzo says. “After working on the song and turning it in from the album, we continually work on it day after day after day after day, as we go and hone it and we play it live and we shape it and mold it. Songs that were written 20-some years ago are still being worked and tweaked. We’re never done with it.”

Saturday, Dec. 7, at the Rave, 2401 W. Wisconsin Ave. For tickets visit therave.com.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

JEFF MATEO

::LOCALMUSIC

MOD VIOLETS’ MOODY, MELODIC ROCK ::BY DAVID LUHRSSEN

E

Barbaro

Barbaro Gallops Past Genre Lines

O COURTESY OF THE BAND

arlier this year, a great album was released in Milwaukee with little fanfare. The Mod Violets’ self-titled CD brims with sharpangled, guitar-driven melodies and reflective lyrics veiled in an aura of psychedelia.

The band name signals an era—could The Mod Violets have been a group from mid-’60s London, tinted with Edwardian nostalgia? At moments they sort of sound that way. At others, the precise origins of their music are more allusive.

The Mod Violets are a reunion for Mark Lonteen (rhythm guitar, vocals) and Mike Hartwig (lead guitar, vocals). After playing together in the ’60s-pop influenced Loons, they parted ways in the ’90s and eventually went silent.

Lonteen and Hartwig regrouped in 2018 to write and record. Their first new song, “Because She Could,” is the least characteristic of the album— it could be a lost number from Buddy Holly’s catalogue—but lends a note of contrast to the otherwise yearning harmonies and minor keys.

“We had no preconceptions when we started,” Hartwig says. “It all just came out a certain way,” Lonteen adds. “We just came up with what we came up with.”

Of course, influences matter. Lonteen cites a list of songwriters: Burt Bacharach, Lennon and McCartney, Rick Nielsen, Jimmy Webb, Fiona Apple and Milwaukee’s Paul Wall (Trolley) and Brian Miller (Blarney Castle).

“My tastes are eclectic. I get as much joy listening to The Tindersticks’ ‘The Not Knowing’ as The Clash’s ‘Death or Glory,’” he says.

Hartwig responds to the question with “R.E.M., The Byrds, early Dire Straits, The Ventures.” Altogether, it’s a wide roster of moody melodic music rooted in the ’60s idea of packing a story or an impression into three well-crafted minutes executed by two guitars, bass and drums.

The album was made in Hartwig’s basement digital studio with Terry Garguilo (“an intuitive drummer,” Lonteen says) and Russell Grabczyk (“a brilliant bassist,” he adds).

“Originally, it was going to be a recording project,” Hartwig says.

“We were so happy with the way it turned out, The Mod we decided to go on as a Violets band.” When Garguilo’s work schedule made comSaturday, mitting to night gigs difDec. 7, ficult, he was replaced by 7 p.m.

Brad Beyer, praised by Club Lonteen for his “enthusiGaribaldi astic playing.”

Lonteen and Hartwig have several songs that remain unrecorded and are writing more for a possible second album in 2020. “I want as many people as possible to hear our songs,” Lonteen says. However, aspirations for stardom are modest. “It’s about the pure enjoyment of creating songs and the joy and pleasure of playing them,” he explains.

The Mod Violets, with The Unheard Of opening, play at Club Garibaldi on Saturday, Dec. 7, at 7 p.m.

The Mod Violets

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::BY JOSHUA MILLER

n Minneapolis-based Barbaro’s forthcoming debut album, Dressed in Roses, due out in January, sonic journeys unravel in unexpected ways. Songs like “Aunt Betty” and “Barbaro” spotlight the band’s affinity to blur the lines between genres. Like the namesake 2006 horse that won the Kentucky Derby, the band’s sound is agile and crafty in pursuing a winning sound.

“In a lot of the songs on the album, there is almost like a journey that happens from the beginning of the song to the end of the song,” bass-player Jason Wells says.

“It has kind of an arc that doesn’t necessarily end the song where we start it, but you feel kind of taken on an experience.”

The quartet also features singer and guitarist Kyle Shelstad, banjo player Isaac Sammis and fiddle player and singer Rachel Calvert. Shelstad grew up north of Milwaukee and spent many years on the Milwaukee music scene before moving to Minneapolis where he formed the band. He credits Milwaukee for exposing him to bluegrass and jam music.

Barbaro likes to call its sound “newgrass,” since there’s a mix of bluegrass, jazz, pop and country western. The band feels it might “feel phony if we tried to just be like a straight bluegrass band.”

“We all sort of come at it from different angles,” Sammis says. “I know Rachel, Jason and I are sort of classically trained, more or less, and so we like to come at it from that angle.

But I’ve certainly listened to a lot of bluegrass and sort of improvisational music, and I know that’s true with Kyle, too. And so, I think those styles really come together and kind of create this unique like chamber-y, jazzy kind of a bluegrass sound where they all just mesh together. You can’t really tell which one’s which.”

He continues: “We like to listen to classical, straight-up bluegrass music or other genres, but then we like to use the band as a platform to express our own interests and to insert a lot of other ideas that we think are cool and not necessarily just being strictly beholden to the melody or some type of singular genre.”

Adam Greuel, best known as member of Wisconsin-based Horseshoes and Hand Grenades, helped produce the album.

“We thought he would be a great person to work with, he’s a Barbaro great energy to bring into the studio,” Shelstad says. “In the studio, it’s all about capturing that moment in time, and Adam does a Sunday, really good job of always living in that moment. So, I think having Dec. 8, somebody like him with his experience for one, but also just his 7 p.m. positive energy and attitude allowed us to accomplish that and The Jazz make that moment represent us as a band.”

Estate Barbaro’s music is like the suspense of a horse race, with plenty of spontaneity, adventure and unexpected twists and turns. The band is always looking for ways to break away from the pack.

“I see a really exciting prospect of developing the sound that we have going,” Wells says. “And kind of taking that further as we get more comfortable playing with each other and really understanding how each of us plays and what we can potentially bring to the table.”

Barbaro, with Nickel&Rose opening, plays The Jazz Estate, 2423 N. Murray Ave., on Sunday, Dec. 8, at 7 p.m.

For more on Barbaro, visit shepherdexpress.com.

D E C E M B E R 5 , 2 0 1 9 | 41

::THISWEEKINMILWAUKEE

Houdini and the Cult of Celebrity @ Jewish Museum Milwaukee, 7 p.m.

Fame has always been shaped by new technologies and changing conceptions of the self. Harry Houdini was the last of the steam-age celebrities, whose fame grew from many of the same developments—transcontinental railroads, teeming cities and an industrialized press—that transformed American life in the industrial age. Join Rick Popp, associate professor and director of graduate studies in the Department of Journalism, Advertising and Media Studies at UW-Milwaukee, to explore how the notion of celebrity has evolved between Houdini’s time and today.

FRIDAY, DEC. 6

Sigmund Snopek III Holiday Concert @ Riverwest Radio, 10 p.m.

Enjoy a holiday concert by Sigmund Snopek III. Be part of the live studio audience or listen on 104.1 FM. Buy a ticket for the 50-50 raffle and maybe get some holiday shopping done all while supporting Riverwest Radio.

SATURDAY, DEC. 7

Benefit Concert for Planned Parenthood Advocates of Wisconsin @ Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, 9 p.m.

SATURDAY, DEC. 7

The Wizards of Winter @ The Gobbler Theater, 7 p.m.

Featuring 10 new original songs, The Christmas Dream is a rocking holiday sleigh ride that crosses musical boundaries from prog metal to contemporary, appealing to a broad and diverse audience. The Wizards of Winter have added even more new talent to their ranks this year, including violinist and backup vocalist Kornelia Rad, lead vocalist and auxiliary keyboardist Alexis Smith and lead guitarist Steve Brown.

Milwaukee Zappafest XXI Featuring Ike Willis @ The Miramar Theatre, 7 p.m.

COURTESY OF THE BAND

THURSDAY, DEC. 5

The cult of Frank Zappa is a strong one. Milwaukee Zappafest, the longest running Frank Zappa tribute concert in America brings back Zappa vocalist Ike Willis for the second year.

He will be backed by Gozortenplat. Other acts include Dr. Chow’s Love Medicine (who have performed every year of the fest) and The Appletones.

SUNDAY, DEC. 8

Christmas with Cherish the Ladies @ Irish Cultural and Heritage Center, 4 p. m.

Cherish the Ladies, one of the most engaging and successful ensembles in the history of Celtic music, celebrate the holidays with a spirited performance filled with classic Christmas carols intermingled with beautiful Celtic instrumentals, outstanding vocals harmonies and spectacular step dancing.

Hot on the heels of the release of The Haskels’ album comes the Benefit Concert for Planned Parenthood Advocates of Wisconsin, which honors Haskels and Oil Tasters bassist-songwriter Richard LaValliere.

The Daves will perform songs like their LaValliere-influenced “(You Killed My) Goldfish.” At the band’s debut gig, on Halloween 1982, they held a slamdance contest. First prize was a dead pigeon in a plastic bag. Second prize was a Rush tape. The Six Wives of Richard (6WOR)’s name is a reference to the late LaValliere. This trio keeps it simple and to the point, with a high energy punk-new wave sound that might be called retro if they hadn’t been in a handful of groundbreaking bands when the music first hit decades ago.

They also happen to be female, if that matters.

Two Hours in Pop Heaven: The Mike Benign Compulsion and Cabin Essence @ Tonic Tavern, 7 p.m.

Twenty years ago, Mike Benign’s telecaster would not let him sleep. Why should it now? With his Compulsion’s recent album, Bygones, a timely new video and a nagging threat to retire the band, take this opportunity to sample their intelligent pop music.

They are not lying when they say, “We play songs and jump around as much as we can subject to stage size and ceiling height.” Cabin Essence follows, a trio led by Nick Maas and featuring local music vets Terry Hackbarth and John Wythes.

Cherish the Ladies

12/5 Direct Hit! 12/12 Caley Conway

Find things to do in the Milwaukee area with the most comprehensive events calendar in the city.

Visit shepherdexpress.com/events 42 | D E C E M B E R 5 , 2 0 1 9

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

MUSIC::LISTINGS To list your event, go to shepherdexpress.com/events and click submit an event

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 5

C-viche, Carmen Lamarque Caroline’s Jazz Club, Brian Dale Group w/Lynda Lee County Clare Irish Inn & Pub, Acoustic Irish Folk w/ Barry Dodd Five O’Clock Steakhouse, Gorman-Hervey Duo George’s Tavern (Racine), The Ben Miller Band Jazz Estate, Noche De Ronda Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, The Tritonics w/Francesca & Tom Plutshack Mason Street Grill, Mark Thierfelder Jazz Trio (5:30pm) McAuliffe’s On The Square (Racine), Open Mic Night O’Donoghues Irish Pub (Elm Grove), All-Star SuperBand (6pm) Pabst Milwaukee Brewery & Taproom, Carnage The Executioner w/Taiyamo Denku, Guerrilla Ghost, Cujo & Mestozi Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Robbie Gold Riverside Theater, Lindsey Stirling Rounding Third Bar and Grill, World’s Funniest Free Comedy Show Sazzy B (Kenosha), Gypsy Jazz Shank Hall, California Guitar Trio Sheryl’s Club 175 (Slinger), Acoustic Jam w/ Milwaukee Mike & Downtown Julius The Back Room @ Colectivo, Dylan LeBlanc w/SG Goodman The Miramar Theatre, Spoonbill w/Deerskin (allages, 9pm) The Packing House, Barbara Stephan & Peter Mac (6pm) Transfer Pizzeria Café, Martini Jazz Lounge: Pocket Change Turner Hall Ballroom, The Moth: The Milwaukee GrandSLAM Championship Up & Under, No Vacancy Comedy Open Mic Nite

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 6

Ally’s Bistro, The Kaye Berigan 4tet American Legion Post #449 (Brookfield), Eric Diamond Nostalgia Show Anodyne Coffee Roasting Co. (Walker’s Point), Lil Rev w/Jim Eannelli & Peggy James Art Bar, Ian Leith Bremen Cafe, Phil Yates w/Flu Like Symptoms, NeoCaveman & Ramon Speed Cafe Carpe (Fort Atkinson), John Gay Camp Dundee Bar & Grill (Campbellsport), Robert Allen Jr. Band Caroline’s Jazz Club, Eddie Butts Project Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: Misunderstood w/Four Eyes & Bad Year (8pm), DJ: (10pm) Clarke Hotel (Waukesha), Dick Eliot Jazz Guitar (6pm) ComedySportz, ComedySportz Milwaukee!

County Clare Irish Inn & Pub, Traditional Irish Ceilidh Session Crush Wine Bar (Waukesha), CP/R w/Chris Peppas & Ricky Orta Jr. Dandy – Midventurous Modern, A Dandy Comedy Show Iron Mike’s (Franklin), Friday Jam Session w/Steve Nitros & the Liquor Salesmen Jazz Estate, Robin Pluer Festive Night w/Juli Wood, Connie Grauer & Kim Zick (7pm), Late Night Session: GATL (11:30pm) Kochanski’s Concertina Beer Hall, Bright Eyed & Blind Lake Lawn Resort, Brian Fictum Lakefront Brewery, Brewhaus Polka Kings (5:30pm) Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Dropbear Collective album release w/Wise Jennings & Fellow Kinsman Mamie’s, Stokes & The Old Blues Boys Mason Street Grill, Phil Seed Trio (6pm) Mezcalero Restaurant, Close Enuf Band w/Don & Phil Milwaukee Ale House, 5 Card Studs Pabst Milwaukee Brewery & Taproom, 500 Miles To Memphis w/A Friend Called Fire & Bandoleer Bacall Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Mission Accomplished Acoustic SHEPHERD EXPRESS

Rave / Eagles Club, Steel Panther w/Stitched Up Heart (all-ages, 8:30pm) Rebellion Brewing (Cedarburg), Matt MF Tyner Red Rock Saloon, Lee Gantt Reefpoint Brew House (Racine), Sammy Marshall Riverside Theater, MSO presents Holiday Pops Riverwest Radio, Sigmund Snopek III Holiday Concert Route 20 (Sturtevant), The Rush Tribute Project Shank Hall, The Steepwater Band Spring City Wine House (Waukesha), Sleepy Andy The Alley Cat Lounge (Five O’Clock Steakhouse), Christopher’s Project The Back Room @ Colectivo, Smoking Popes w/ Direct Hit! The Ivanhoe Pub & Eatery (Racine), Pat McCurdy The Miramar Theatre, Andy Frasco & The U.N. w/ Wurk (all-ages, 9pm) The Packing House, Carmen Nickerson & The Carmen Sutra Trio (6:30pm) Twisted Path Distillery, Tangled Lines album release party Union Park Tavern (Kenosha), The Roundabouts Up & Under, The Majestics

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 7

5 Corners Roadhouse 1880 (Cedarburg), Category X American Legion Post #449 (Brookfield), Reverend Raven & Chain Smokin’ Altar Boys w/Westside Andy, and The Blues Disciples (4pm), Suave (7:30pm) Anodyne Coffee Roasting Co. (Walker’s Point), Nineteen Thirteen Art Bar, Jules Iolyn Blu Milwaukee, Janet O’Mahony Cafe Carpe (Fort Atkinson), Bo Ramsey Caroline’s Jazz Club, The Paul Spencer Band Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: Jon Burks Band w/ Gnarrenschiff (8pm), DJ: Edina Flo (10pm) Club Garibaldi, The Mod Violets w/The Unheard Of ComedySportz, ComedySportz Milwaukee!

Company Brewing, Smoke N’ Mirrors CD release show w/TCE & Dinosaur Rocket Cue Club of Wisconsin (Waukesha), Ten FOO Tall w/LedVedder Five O’Clock Steakhouse, Charles Barber Jazz Estate, OGD Trio Reunion (8pm), Late Night Session: Tomas Antonic Trio (11:30pm) Lake Lawn Resort, Terry Sweet (6pm) Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Planned Parenthood Benefit: Six Wives of Richard w/The Daves MOTOR Bar & Restaurant, Bulleit Bourbon Presents BBQ & Blues: Dave Miller Band (5:30pm) Mason Street Grill, Jonathan Wade Trio (6pm) Miller Time Pub, Matt MF Tyner Milwaukee Ale House, Left On Sunset Pistol Pete’s, Gimme Skynrd Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: 3D Racine Brewing Company, The Fourcast (2pm) Rave / Eagles Club, OAR w/Riker and the Beachcombers (all-ages, 8pm), Lil Tjay w/Simxsantana (all-ages, 8pm) Riverside Theater, MSO presents Holiday Pops Riverwest Public House Cooperative, Luxi w/ Avida_Dollars & CRLSS Rockfield Live (Germantown), Robert Allen Jr. Band Route 20 (Sturtevant), Through Fire w/Brkn Love, Saul, A Killer’s Confession & Dead Posey (6:30pm) Shank Hall, No Quarter - Milwaukee’s Led Zeppelin tribute Slinger House (Slinger), Joe Kadlec The Back Room @ Colectivo, Joan Shelley w/ Daughter of Swords The Cheel / The Baaree (Thiensville), One Lane Bridge The Coffee House, Food Pantry Benefit: Songwriters’ Round Robin The Miramar Theatre, Ike Willis (all-ages, 7pm) The Packing House, Maureè (6:30pm) The Tonic Tavern, The Mike Benign Compulsion (7pm), Cabin Essence (8pm) Union Park Tavern (Kenosha), The Door Stompers Up & Under, Cactii

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 8

Cactus Club, Milwaukee Record Halftime Show: Yogie B & Keez (12pm) Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: Bella Brutto (8pm), DJ: Sheppy (10pm) County Clare Irish Inn & Pub, Dick Eliot Jazz Guitar (5:30pm) Iron Mike’s (Franklin), Sunday Jam w/Rockbound (4pm) J&B’s Blue Ribbon Bar and Grill, The Players Jam Jazz Estate, Barbaro w/Nickel&Rose Lakefront Brewery, Keg Stand Up Riverside Theater, MSO presents Holiday Pops Rounding Third Bar and Grill, The Dangerously Strong Comedy Open Mic The Back Room @ Colectivo, Puddles Pity Party The Miramar Theatre, Merkules (6pm) The Tonic Tavern, MMFT, Stacks, Jonas & Pagel (4pm) Turner Hall Ballroom, WMSE Big Band Grand Stand with Dewey Gill: Chicago Jazz Orchestra plays Ella Fitzgerald and Joe Williams (gala & silent auction, 4pm) Union Park Tavern (Kenosha), Cy’s Piano Jam (4pm)

MONDAY, DECEMBER 9

Broadway Theatre Center, Jazz at Noon: Dan Lloyd, Victor Campbell and Don Linke (12pm) Jazz Estate, UWM Jazz Combo (7pm), Mark Davis Trio (8pm) Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Poet’s Monday w/host Timothy Kloss & featured reader April DeJon (signup 7:30pm, 8-11pm) Mason Street Grill, Joel Burt Duo (5:30pm) Paulie’s Pub and Eatery, Open Jam w/hosts Josh Becker, Annie Buege, Ally Hart or Marr’lo Parada Riverside Theater, Mix Mistletoe Show w/Goo Goo Dolls & Dean Lewis and Maddie Poppe Up & Under, Open Mic

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 10

Brewtown Eatery, Blues & Jazz Jam w/Jeff Stoll, Joe Zarcone & David “Harmonica” Miller (6pm) JC’S Pub, Open Mic w/host Audio is Rehab Jazz Gallery Center for the Arts / Riverwest Artists Association, Tuesday Night Jazz Jam Mamie’s, Open Blues Jam w/Marvelous Mack Mary’s Caddyshack (New Berlin), Robert Allen Jr. Band Mason Street Grill, Jamie Breiwick Group (5:30pm) McAuliffe’s (Racine), Jim Yorgan Sextet Parkside 23, Sleepy Andy (6pm) Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Al White (4pm) Rave / Eagles Club, FM 102/1 presents: Cage The Elephant w/Angels And Airwaves & The Federal Empire (all-ages, 8pm) Riverside Theater, Mix Mistletoe Show w/Kelsea Ballerini, Fitz & The Tantrums and JOHN.k Route 20 (Sturtevant), Crobot w/’68, Electric Revolution & Carbellion The Miramar Theatre, Dan Rodriguez Transfer Pizzeria Café, Transfer House Band w/ Cameron Webb

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 11

Iron Mike’s (Franklin), B Lee Nelson & KZ Acoustic Jam Kochanski’s Concertina Beer Hall, Polka Open Jam Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Acoustic Open Stage w/feature (sign-up 7:30pm, start 8pm) Mason Street Grill, Jamie Breiwick Group (5:30pm) Morton’s (Cedarburg), Sleepy Andy (6:30pm) Paulie’s Field Trip, Wednesday Night Afterparty w/ Dave Wacker & guests Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Al White Riverside Theater, MSO: Leslie Odom Jr., A Holiday Special Shank Hall, Kung Fu The Cheel / The Baaree (Thiensville), Dan Lloyd (6:30pm) The Packing House, Ellen Winters & Sam Steffke (6pm) Turner Hall Ballroom, Fred Armisen Union Park Tavern (Kenosha), Open Mic with host Mark Paffrath

::ALBUMS Jamie Breiwick

Awake: The Music of Don Cherry (SHIFTING PARADIGM) For Kenosha-based trumpeter Jamie Breiwick, jazz history dwells within, a story ever-ongoing. He’s mastered significant repertoire of Miles Davis, Thelonious Monk and free-jazz pioneer Ornette Coleman. Here, his great insight is uncovering Coleman’s still-underappreciated horn front-liner Don Cherry. Thus, Awake rouses cultural consciousness. Trumpeter Cherry expanded on Davis’ more intimate textures, liberated by the Coleman quartet’s dust-storm bluesiness. All these pieces derive from Cherry’s substantial post-Coleman career, tracing his growth and innovation. “Art Deco,” a whistle-worthy, swinging melody, rides the fresh air of unbound chord changes.

Yet Cherry/Breiwick uses freedom as an imaginative, pliable form. The anthemic “Awake Nu” pushes the groove to the outer edge. Then “Brown Rice” grounds us ingeniously with a lumbering bass and uncanny trumpet sounds, almost like a serpentine specter emerging from a rice paddy. Throughout this album, a winged reincarnation – unfettered yet purposive, loving life – pushes the music into earthly fecundity, even as it flies. (Full disclosure: Liner notes include a brief, unpaid biography of Breiwick by this writer.)

—Kevin Lynch

Warren Storm

Taking the World by Storm (APO RECORDS) Covering familiar ’60s hits is a dreary game, but Warren Storm brings credibility to Creedence Clearwater Revival’s “Long as I Can See the Light.” CCR’s John Fogerty was inspired by the swampy sounds of Louisiana and Warren Storm, the “godfather of swamp pop,” began recording in the 1950s. Fogerty may well have been influenced by him. Storm’s gritty vocals and Willie Trahan’s wheezing sax invest the old song with deserved authenticity. Other numbers move with the muggy swing of New Orleans R&B as Storm invests himself in songs that cross the boundaries of country and blues.

—David Luhrssen

Sirkis/Bialas IQ

Our New Earth (MOONJUNE) The IQ stands for International Quartet and its leaders, drummer Asaf Sirkis and vocalist Sylwia Bialas, span continents of influences. The Polishborn Bialas’ often wordless multi-tracked harmonies drench the proceedings in atmosphere. Israeli-born Sirkis is immersed in various percussion traditions as well as the example of Tony Williams. Indian drones often provide a foundation for music less rooted in jazz than orbiting it. Their compositions include moments of silence that rise to the melodic focus of prog rock and the bustling rhythms of ’70s fusion.

—Morton Shlabotnik D E C E M B E R 5 , 2 0 1 9 | 43

COUNTERCULTURE

THEME CROSSWORD

By James Barrick

Complete the grid so that every row, column and 3x3 box contains every digit from 1 to 9 inclusively.

© 2019 United Feature Syndicate, Dist. by Andrews McMeel Syndication

44 | D E C E M B E R 5 , 2 0 1 9

DOWN 1. Spotted rodent 2. Moisturizer ingredient 3. — ex machina 4. Expelled, British style: 2 wds.

5. Candy 6. Menu 7. Ceremony 8. Ab — (from the beginning) 9. One who testifies 10. Grow together 11. Many voices 12. Extinct wild ox 13. Stannum 14. Superlative suffix

15. Cattle pen 16. Otherwise 17. Kind of palm 18. Some dogs 24. — all folks!

26. Golf score 29. Let 32. Goads 33. Old Scandinavian poet 34. Second-degree relative 35. “Lou Grant” actor 36. Strand 37. Work against 38. Healthy 39. Porcupine quill 40. Bogus 41. Show backer 42. Verse 44. Treasure hunt leads 45. — Island 48. Bundles 50. Cotton thread 52. Cousin to a ten-spot 53. Spume 54. Tears 55. Wood strips supporting plaster 57. Foreign 58. Something positive 59. British measure 61. Word in forecasts

62. Celebratory drink 63. Hindu texts 64. Coeur d’— 65. Pulverize 66. Pomes 67. Carried 68. Tries to win 70. Soft mineral 71. Chassis 74. Winnie-the- — 75. Circle within a circle 76. Demanded loudly 78. Ark 79. Released 80. Long complaint 81. Student at Annapolis 83. Unyielding 85. Musical group 87. Twin crystal 88. Code word for T 89. Part of CPA: Abbr.

90. Rain 91. Expressive dance 92. Bunyan’s ox 93. Body part 94. Concerning: 2 wds.

95. Magical letter 96. Pricey 98. Curve shape 99. Knock 101. “— Day Will Come”

Solution to last week’s puzzle

11/28 Solution

WORD FIND This is a theme puzzle with the subject stated below. Find the listed words in the grid. (They may run in any direction but always in a straight line. Some letters are used more than once.) Ring each word as you find it and when you have completed the puzzle, there will be 19 letters left over. They spell out the alternative theme of the puzzle.

Sweet treats Solution: 19 Letters

© 2019 Australian Word Games Dist. by Creators Syndicate Inc.

73. Doyen 74. Bending movement in dance 75. Obliterate 76. Waxy protuberance 77. Cuckoo 78. Complementary thing 81. Metallic sound 82. Individuality 84. Mutilates 85. Lists of candidates 86. Oven for glass 87. Recipe direction 88. Abound 89. Plant louse 92. Eccentric 93. Portable desktop 97. Offset 100. Take legal action 102. — of personality 103. Marten 104. Fencing move 105. Lab burner 106. Salver 107. Drive recklessly 108. Plant fungus 109. Active one

Addict Aero Aniseed Apples Apricot Baked Alaska Bar Bites Blend Block Bombe Brands Chew Chips Coat

Crumbly Dark Eggs Expensive Frog Fruit Fudge Glutton Halva Jam Kit Kat Layer Liqueur Lollies Marshmallow

Melt Milk Molten Mousse Nuts Pear Piece Reward Sago Sauce Slice Soft Sweet Syrup

11/28 Solution: Cooking up a delicious breakfast SHEPHERD EXPRESS

Solution: Getting your sugar fix

ACROSS 1. Walks softly 5. Young haddock 10. Severe 15. Time per.

19. Term heard at sea 20. Give up voluntarily 21. Pratt or Farley 22. Miscellany 23. Place for a mixer 25. Secret agent 27. Lover of fine art 28. Perfume ingredient 30. Domains 31. Appointment 32. Derisive look 33. Story 35. Cravats 38. Drained of energy 39. Yarmulke 43. Parades and pageants 44. Bedspread 46. Yoko — Lennon 47. Class of words 48. Let slip 49. Rapier part 50. Winter Olympics sport 51. White-tailed bird: Var 52. Creatures of myth 53. Plant part 55. Wrinkles 56. Sold direct to buyer 58. Haughtiness 59. In conclusion 60. Middle-earth denizens 61. Inclination 62. Deed 63. Differs 65. Eats to excess 66. Leafy greens 69. Eel 70. Not canned, not frozen 71. Worries 72. Armed adversary

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Date: 12/5/19

::FREEWILLASTROLOGY ::BY ROB BREZSNY SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “My greatest asset is that I am constantly changing,” says Sagittarian actress and activist Jane Fonda. This description may not always be applicable to you, but I think it should be during the coming weeks. You’re primed to thrive on a robust commitment to self-transformation. As you proceed in your holy task, keep in mind this other advice from Fonda.

1. “One part of wisdom is knowing what you don’t need anymore and letting it go.” 2. “It is never too late to master your weaknesses.” 3. “If you allow yourself, you can become stronger in the very places that you’ve been broken.” 4. “The challenge is not to be perfect. It’s to be whole.” P.S. And what does it mean to be whole? Be respectful toward all your multiple facets and welcome them into the conversation you have about how to live.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You can’t escape your past completely. You can’t loosen its hold on you so thoroughly that it will forever allow you to move with limitless freedom into the future. But you definitely have the power to release yourself from at least a part of your past’s grip. And the coming weeks will be an excellent time to do just that: to pay off a portion of your karmic debt and shed worn-out emotional baggage.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Aquarian playwright August Strindberg didn’t have much interest in people who “regurgitate what they have learned from books.” He was bored by stories that have been told over and over again; was impatient with propaganda disguised as information and by sentimental platitudes masquerading as sage insights. He craved to hear about the unprecedented secrets of each person’s life: the things they know and feel that no one else knows and feels. He was a student of “the natural history of the human heart.” I bring Strindberg’s perspective to your attention, my dear one-of-a-kind Aquarius, because now is a perfect time for you to fully embody it.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “It’s no fun being in love with a shadow,” wrote Piscean poet Edna St. Vincent Millay. And yet she indulged profusely in that no-fun activity, and even capitalized on it to create a number of decent, if morose, poems. But in alignment with your astrological omens, Pisces, I’m going to encourage you to fall out of love with shadows. The coming weeks will be an excellent time to channel your passions into solid realities: to focus your ardor and adoration on earthly pleasures and practical concerns and imperfect but interesting people.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In composing this oracle, I have called on the unruly wisdom of Vivienne Westwood. She’s the fashion designer who incorporated the punk esthetic into mainstream styles. Here are four quotes by her that will be especially suitable for your use in the coming weeks.

1. “I disagree with everything I used to say.” 2. “The only possible effect one can have on the world is through unpopular ideas.” 3. “Intelligence is composed mostly of imagination, insight, and things that have nothing to do with reason.” 4. “I’m attracted to people who are really true to themselves and who are always trying to do something that makes their life more interesting.”

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “I’m drowning in the things I never told you.” Famous make-up artist Alexandra Joseph wrote that message to a companion with whom she had a complicated relationship. Are you experiencing a similar sensation, Taurus? If so, I invite you to do something about it! The coming weeks will be a good time to stop drowning.

One option is to blurt out to your ally all the feelings and thoughts you’ve been withholding and hiding. A second option is to divulge just some of the feelings and thoughts you’ve been withholding and hiding—and then monitor the results of your partial revelation. A third option is to analyze why you’ve been withholding and hiding. Is it because your ally hasn’t been receptive, or because you’re afraid of being honest? Here’s what I suggest: Start with the third option, then move on to the second.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I’ve got some borderline sentimental poetry to offer you in this horoscope. It may be too mushy for a mentally crisp person like you. You may worry that I’ve fallen under the sway of sappy versions of love rather

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

than the snappy versions I usually favor. But there is a method in my madness: I suspect you need an emotionally suggestive nudge to fully activate your urge to merge; you require a jolt of sweetness to inspire you to go in quest of the love mojo that’s potentially available to you in abundance. So please allow your heart to be moved by the following passage from poet Rabindranath Tagore: “My soul is alight with your infinitude of stars. Your world has broken upon me like a flood. The flowers of your garden blossom in my body.”

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Try saying this, and notice how it feels: “For the next 17 days, I will make ingenious efforts to interpret my problems as interesting opportunities that offer me the chance to liberate myself from my suffering and transform myself into the person I aspire to become.” Now speak the following words and see what thoughts and sensations get triggered: “For the next 17 days, I will have fun imagining that my socalled flaws are signs of potential strengths and talents that I have not yet developed.”

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): An interviewer asked singer-songwriter Leonard Cohen if he needed to feel bothered and agitated in order to stimulate his creativity. Cohen said no. “When I get up in the morning,” he testified, “my real concern is to discover whether I’m in a state of grace.” Surprised, the interviewer asked, “What do you mean by a state of grace?” Cohen described it as a knack for balance that he called on to ride the chaos around him. He knew he couldn’t fix or banish the chaos—and it would be arrogant to try. His state of grace was more like skiing skillfully down a hill, gliding along the contours of unpredictable terrain. I’m telling you about Cohen’s definition, Leo, because I think that’s the state of grace you should cultivate right now. I bet it will stimulate your creativity in ways that surprise and delight you.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Poet Juan Felipe Herrera praises the value of making regular efforts to detox our cluttered minds. He says that one of the best methods for accomplishing this cleansing is to daydream. You give yourself permission to indulge in uncensored, unabashed fantasies.

You feel no inhibition about envisioning scenes that you may or may not ever carry out in real life. You understand that this free-form play of images is a healing joy, a gift you give yourself. It’s a crafty strategy to make sure you’re not hiding any secrets from yourself.

Now is a favorable time to practice this art, Virgo.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In accordance with current astrological omens, here’s your meditation, as articulated by the blogger named Riverselkie: “Let your life be guided by the things that produce the purest secret happiness, with no thought to what that may look like from the outside. Feed the absurd whims of your soul and create with no audience in mind but yourself. What is poignant to you is what others will be moved by, too. Embrace what you love about yourself and the right people will come.”

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “I swear I became a saint from waiting,” wrote Scorpio poet Odysseus Elytis in his poem “Three Times the Truth.” According to my reading of the astrological omens, you may be in a similar situation.

And you’ll be wise to welcome the break in the action and abide calmly in the motionless lull. You’ll experiment with the hypothesis that temporary postponement is best not just for you, but for all concerned.

Homework: Evil is boring. Rousing fear is a hackneyed shtick. More: bit.ly/EvilisBoring.

Go to realastrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes and Daily Text Message Horoscopes. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 877873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

::NEWS OF THE WEIRD ::BY THE EDITORS OF ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

A Road Rage Chewing Out

D

avid Paul Wipperman, 61, of Largo, Fla., was taken into custody on Thursday, Nov. 21, in response to a road rage altercation a few weeks before, the Tampa Bay Times reported. According to arrest reports, during the incident, Wipperman left his truck and approached a woman driving a Kia sedan. She rolled down the window and apologized to Wipperman, who then spit the food he was chewing into her face, some of which landing in her mouth, the report said. Next, he allegedly opened her driver’s side door and began screaming at her, pointing his finger in her face. He was charged in Pinellas County with felony battery and burglary of an occupied vehicle and held on $12,500 bail.

Picky, Picky Perp In Boca Raton, Fla., a robber approached a Wells Fargo bank branch teller with a very specific request on Monday, Nov. 18, reported WPLG. Sandy Hawkins, 73, entered the bank that morning and told the teller, “This is a robbery. I have a weapon,” and put his hand in his waistband to indicate a gun, according to Palm Beach County’s sheriff’s office. The teller started counting out $100 bills, eventually totaling more than $2,000, the affidavit said, but Hawkins explained that was “too much money!” Authorities said the teller made the adjustment, then slid the bills through the window to Hawkins, who quickly left. When detectives caught up with him the next day, he told them, “I wanted to make this easy,” showing them the note he had written, which read, “Give me $1,100,” seeming miffed that he had to correct the teller when his note was very specific as to what he was there for. He was booked into the county jail on robbery charges.

Giving Students the Bird Elementary and middle school students in Bandung, Indonesia, have been spending too much time with their smartphones, according to Mayor Oded Muhammad Danial, who has come up with a clever distraction. In mid-November, authorities began distributing 2,000 baby chicks in cages with signs that read: “Please take good care of me.” AFP reports the students will be required to feed their pets before and after school and can keep them on school premises if they don’t have space in their backyard. Danial said the chick project, dubbed “Chickenization,” is part of a larger

endeavor by President Joko Widodo to broaden students’ education. “There is an aspect of discipline here,” said Danial.

Cosmetic Surgery As college student Morgan Taylor got her nails done in a High Point, N.C., salon on Wednesday, Nov. 20, she was shocked when one of the nail technicians spread out a tarp on the shop floor and began butchering meat with what appeared to be a kitchen knife. “I asked them what it was, because just seeing them unload flesh and bones was a little bit shocking,” Taylor told WFMY. “They said it was deer meat, and they were splitting it up between the workers to take home. It had already been skinned; they were sectioning it.”

Taylor reported the shop to the North Carolina Board of Cosmetic Art Examiners, which told WFMY its “inspectors have not received a complaint within memory of butchering in a cosmetic shop.”

Sunshine Where The Sun Doesn’t Shine “Metaphysicalmeagan,” who boasts nearly 10,000 followers on Instagram, is advocating a new “ancient Taoist practice that has been around for a while: perineum sunning. “Many of you have been asking about the benefits of this practice,” she writes, “30 seconds of sunlight on your anus is the equivalent of a full day of sunlight with your clothes on!” She goes on to say she has experienced energy surges, better sleep and more creativity, reports IFLScience.com, along with myriad other “improvements.” Scientists point out that, while sunlight and taking some time to relax can be healthful, “there is no evidence that (sunlight) has to be taken as a suppository.”

Nailed It! A Japanese man who goes by the name Kiwami Japan on YouTube has chronicled his novel approach to fashioning a very personal engagement ring, the Mirror reported on Friday, Oct. 25. For 365 days, the man collected his fingernail clippings, which he then ground into a fine powder and mixed with water in a pan. After compressing the mixture, he baked it in an oven for 90 minutes, which resulted in what looked like a lump of dark clay. The substance was packed into a diamond-shaped mold and then mounted into a four-prong silver ring (which he also made himself). The finished ring features a dull black “stone.”

Social media followers were unimpressed, but you can’t say he didn’t put a little bit of himself into the ring. © 2019 Andrews McMeel Syndication D E C E M B E R 5 , 2 0 1 9 | 45

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’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, I am backed up but good with the schmutz of making a list (and boy-oh, do I have a list), a task that shall flush down the toilet my time to flip out a showroom-quality essay for you’s this week, boo-hoo.

But don’t despair. I shoveled through the festering compost heap on my dinky desk and dug up a piece of essay that I shall now re-gift for your perusing pleasure ’cause what the fock: Stop me if you’ve heard this, but it’s that time of year when your neighborly folks on the TV local news begin to dish out handy tips on how to handle the seasonal stress of the holiday season, so that you don’t find yourself come Christmas morning barricaded inside your abode, gazing out your living-room window through the sights of a high-powered rifle, ready to dampen the Yuletide spirit of anything that moves.

These stress-relieving tips could only be enlightening if you were a time-traveler from the past— say from before the Magna focking Carta was John Hancocked, when the people were too busy slaughtering each other all the time to even think of having a holiday.

But for the average Tom, Dick or Dickless, there’s not a whole lot of meat on the bones of these “handy” tips. They lead one to shake their head and say, “You got to be jerking my beefaroni. How focking stupid do you think I am?”

I’d like to give you a tip or two from my own catalog on how to get the stress-monkey off your aching back.

Now as some of you’s know, my personal solution to holiday stress is to have another hot focking toddy and crank up the thermostat. Don’t forget that stress is the silent killer, and if you’re so inclined, nothing puts a quick kibosh on stress like a nice cigarette, so always be aware to smoke ’em if you got ’em. And if you don’t got ’em, get ’em.

If you feel that you still got stress coming out your

dupa even after doing what I just told you to do, you may have “the kind of stress where you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.” This is not good and I don’t know what the fock to tell you, I kid you not.

Except that my ol’ buddy Jay, some years past, sent me an eight-step technique for stress management. It’s nice to know you can accomplish something in only eight steps. Chances are that’s fewer steps than the number you’d need to take to get to the nearest tavern, ain’a? Anyways, here’s the technique. Maybe it can help you out, what the fock.

1. Picture yourself near a stream.

2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.

3. No one but you knows your secret place.

4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic place called “the world.”

5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.

6. The water is crystal clear.

7. You can easily make out the face of the person you’re holding underwater.

8. See! You’re smiling already... spread the joy!

In fact, for a double dose of relief, why not think of the above whilst you take your steps to the nearest cocktail palace? Hey, you tell me.

And then I’ll tell you that it’s been known that sometimes a good laugh can dial down the meter on your pressure cooker. And who can use a good laugh more than a married guy with kids ’cause jeez louise, if it’s not the kids, it’s the wife, and the next thing you know you’re being hauled away in handcuffs. So, for you’s guys sporting the double ball-and-chain, try this one on for size: Little Patty brought her report card home from school. Her grades were good, As and Bs. However, her teacher had written across the bottom: “Patty’s a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in class. I have an idea I’m going to try, which may break her of the habit.” Patty’s dad signed the report card and put a note on the back: “Please let me know if your idea works on Patty, because I’d like to try it out on her mother.” Ba-ding!

Come to think of it, there’s one more thing you could do for stress, something you could do any ol’ time of year and you don’t need a damn license or a whole lot of expensive equipment neither: Take off work and go beer hunting. In fact, I’m going out right now to see if I can bring down a 24-can pack with as many shots as I can stand ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.

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