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DECEMBER 6, 2018 | 3 11/30/18 1:59 PM

::NEWS&VIEWS FEATURES | POLLS | TAKING LIBERTIES | ISSUE OF THE WEEK

County Proposes Merging Milwaukee Public Museum and the Domes Consolidation could sacrifice historic glasshouses and vital green space ::BY VIRGINIA SMALL

THEASIS

new twist has emerged regarding prospects for the Mitchell Park Horticultural Conservatory, more commonly known as the “Domes.” Milwaukee County officials formed a task force to study a potential conservatory merger with the Milwaukee Public Museum (MPM), which intends to build a new home that could encompass a full city block and be four stories tall. The committee is analyzing whether both institutions could coexist as a single entity in Mitchell Park on Milwaukee’s South Side.

The committee’s charge does not reference the historic character of the Domes or Mitchell Park, one of Milwaukee’s oldest and most distinguished parks. Moreover, task force resolution wording, approved by Milwaukee County’s Board of Supervisors and endorsed by County Executive Chris Abele, directly posits possible demolition of the Domes to create a combined facility: “The newly constructed Horticultural Conservatory shall seek to maintain the square footage of the current facility and should also be able to maintain the current collection of species or more.” It also calls for “a report with two suggestions for a new joint governance model,” including feasibility studies and fiscal analyses, due in March 2019.

One stated goal is the “removal [of the Domes] from Parks Department management.” The report “shall also include cost savings as a result of [co-location]…as well as possibilities to integrate both facilities with the rest of Mitchell Park’s amenities.” The new committee will also analyze options regarding MPM’s existing building, which Milwaukee County owns. Chaired by Milwaukee County Parks director Guy Smith, the committee comprises mostly Milwaukee County employees, along with several MPM representatives. No private citizens are included, although additional members could be added at Smith’s discretion.

An Arranged Marriage?

The Milwaukee Public Museum receives funding from Milwaukee County while operating as a nonprofit organization. Thorny implied issues include whether the long-established natural-history museum would want to assume responsibility for managing a horticultural conservatory. The museum has been analyzing future needs and options for several years.

After enlisting a national museum planning consultant and extensive engagement with museum visitors, the MPM board recently announced its intentions to build a new home. Now located at 800 W. Wells St., the museum has identified about 10 potential sites but will not disclose specific contenders. Museum officials said they would prefer rebuilding west of the Milwaukee River, and that Mitchell Park is among sites being considered.

Roger Krawiecki, long-time president of the board of Friends of the Domes, has frequently urged more analysis of Domes demolition and replacement options. Domes director Sandy Folaron has previously expressed doubts about whether the long-neglected structures are worth saving, except possibly to incorporate one within a new complex. At the DomesMPM Task Force’s first meeting on Monday, Nov. 26, Folaron said she was excited about “so many possibilities for collaboration” with MPM and new opportunities that the public “will love as much as the Domes.”

“County Supervisor Marina Dimitrijevic has proposed Mitchell Park as a possible site for the new Milwaukee Public Museum and recommended a combined governing structure to manage the museum and the Mitchell Park Horticultural Conservatory…

MPM will participate in the task force and is interested in the findings the process will produce.” Referring to an unrelated pending release of unsolicited design proposals for a shared cultural campus involving other institutions, MPM’s statement concludes: “These are just two potential concepts for the future Milwaukee Public Museum, and there remain many viable locations under consideration. MPM also remains open to new options that will best serve the needs of the public.”

A ‘Preservation Solution?’

The National Trust for Historic Preservation (NTHP) has named the Domes a “National Treasure” worthy of restoration. NTHP underwrote a peer review of the Graef structural-engineering study and found that leaks could be addressed for the long term for $18.6 million. Working closely with local partners, including the Milwaukee Preservation Alliance and Save Our Domes and with support from The Cultural Landscape Foundation, NTHP “is advocating for a preservation solution where all three Domes are rehabbed and reused, as a community resource, with programming and sustainable financial operations.”

Until recently, the distinctive 1960s-era landmark was often portrayed as a Milwaukee symbol. Nonetheless, despite the high level of affection the Domes consistently engender, they have been increasingly under-promoted and marginalized by the Abele administration. For example, the Domes are inexplica-

4 | DECEMBER 6, 2018

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

For more News, log onto shepherdexpress.com

bly not listed among 25 “attractions” on Visit Milwaukee’s Official Visitors Map for the third consecutive year.

The Mitchell Park Conservatory Task Force, which has been meeting since late 2016, recently determined that repairing the Domes and making “targeted investments” was the preferred course of action to serve the public and enhance their appeal as a destination. The original Domes task force recently discussed long-pending studies of the Domes’ concrete support system and ways to repair or replace the glazing system and its support structure.

Those studies were authorized and funded in the 2018 county budget. Task force chairman William Lynch said that such analysis “will help to refine cost estimates of Domes’ repair and rehabilitation.” A contractor has been selected for the concrete system analysis, but work has not begun.

Thus far, no request for proposals has been issued to explore options for making changes and repairs to ensure that the glass and its support structure would remain watertight. Having completed Phases I and II of its work, task force members urged county administrators to complete these studies. Lynch expects that a report of its findings will be completed by Friday, Dec. 28, for Milwaukee County Board review this January. The original Domes committee will jointly convene with the new Domes-MPM committee at least twice.

How Might Mitchell Park Be Affected?

At the Monday, Nov. 26, meeting of the Domes-MPM Task Force, James Tarantino, head of recreation and business services for Milwaukee County Parks, said that, while there’s conceivably room for a new museum and related infrastructure in the 61-acre Mitchell Park, there might be significant loss of green space. To accommodate vehicles, he said an underground parking structure could be considered. Much of the regional park already

serves designated uses, including some with restricted access. A fenced football field and a clubhouse are controlled by Journey House.

An enclosed splash pad is next to a playground and restrooms. A county greenhouse complex and Domes work areas are behind chain-link fencing. The Domes Annex hosts events, including the popular Winter Farmers Market.

Mitchell Park also incorporates a multi-use ballfield, rentable pavilion, outdoor performance stage, parking lots—one with four basketball hoops for pick-up games—and natural areas. On a recent midday visit, throngs of birds perched within a stand of mature trees on a steep slope.

That leaves about 1/3rd of Mitchell Park (about 20 acres) as accessible public green space with meandering paths, lawn and picnic areas and a picturesque lagoon. One of Milwaukee’s earliest parks, it was designed by nationally renowned landscape architect Warren H. Manning, a founder of the National Parks Service and the American Society of Landscape Architects. His famed Sunken Garden—designed to complement Mitchell Park’s original conservatory—was removed in 1994 without discussion of its significance.

Diane Buck, a longtime civic philanthropist supporting Milwaukee public art and parks, thinks that talk of squeezing MPM into Mitchell Park is “completely outrageous. Mitchell Park serves a very important function as a place for strolling, picnics and other passive recreation. A new building there would take up precious green space in this densely populated neighborhood.” Meanwhile, Milwaukee County Supervisor Jason Haas has voiced concerns about losing green space. At the Domes-MPM Task Force’s first meeting, Haas referenced Canadian singer-songwriter Joni Mitchell’s memorable 1970 song “Big Yellow Taxi” when he talked about “paving paradise to put up a parking lot” and asked whether lost park areas might be re-compensated nearby.

Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n

“COUNTY SUPERVISOR MARINA DIMITRIJEVIC HAS PROPOSED MITCHELL PARK AS A POSSIBLE SITE FOR THE NEW MILWAUKEE PUBLIC MUSEUM AND RECOMMENDED A COMBINED GOVERNING STRUCTURE TO MANAGE THE MUSEUM AND THE MITCHELL PARK HORTICULTURAL CONSERVATORY…” SHEPHERD EXPRESS

DECEMBER 6, 2018 | 5

NEWS&VIEWS::FEATURE

It’s Not Costly Anymore SOLAR ENERGY DELIVERS ON ITS CARBON-FREE PROMISE ::BY MARY SUSSMAN

W

Visit THE SHOP at the Harley-Davidson Museum or H-DMuseum.com to find that perfect gift.

Can’t decide?

Grab a gift card.

©2018 H-D or its affiliates.

6 | DECEMBER 6, 2018

e’re witnessing the dawn of a new age of electricity in which solar and wind energy have become costeffective, says Tyler Huebner, executive director of RENEW Wisconsin, a non-profit dedicated to accelerating the future of renewable energy in Wisconsin.

In its infancy, solar energy was viewed as a green but expensive alternative to burning carbon-emitting fossil fuels. Now, a decade later, while the environmental benefits of renewable energy remain enormous, the primary rationale for using more solar energy has become economic. Solar energy is less expensive to produce than energy produced by fossil fuel plants, which require enormous infrastructure investments upfront and ongoing purchases of fuel.

“The cost of solar has come down 75-85% in the last decade,” Huebner says. “We hear now of many homeowners getting their payback in seven to 10 years, especially in southeastern Wisconsin based on the electric rates that people pay to We Energies.” He says businesses have additional tax advantages and often get four- to seven-year paybacks. “It’s becoming quite a quick payback and a very good investment for many businesses and homeowners.”

While more home and business owners are installing solar panels, utility companies are still the biggest energy producers. They are trying to jump on the renewable train but are constrained by the large investments they have already made in coal and natural gas power plants and are trying to figure out how to pivot from higher-cost and carbon-emitting energy to low-cost renewable energy, such as solar, Huebner says.

He explains that solar and wind technologies are much less expensive to operate than fossil fuel-burning plants. For one, the utility does not have to buy coal or natural gas and facilities maintenance is much lower. Some maintenance is required on wind turbines, which have moving parts, but solar panels require much less maintenance than fossil-fuel power plants, thus less labor is involved in operating renewable energy technologies.

New Approaches Needed Elizabeth Katt Reinders, senior campaign representative of the Sierra Club’s Beyond Coal Campaign, believes that new approaches are needed to speed utilities to transition more rapidly to solar and other forms of renewable energy.

“We need to recognize that there is now clean energy that is cheaper, more cost-effective and is going to be the better deal for customers,” Reinders says. “We’re going to need a creative approach in this different environment and market than we had five or 10 years ago. We can’t bring the same solutions and same approach to new circumstances.”

Huebner explains that when a utility wants to build a coal plant or a natural gas plant, it has

to get permission from the state Public Service Commission. Part of that process is determining how long that plant will run before recouping the cost. Some of the plants still have 20 years to go before the utility can recoup their costs. With the advent of cost-effective solar and wind energy, however, the economics of energy production have fundamentally shifted.

“I think the biggest, hardest issue is how does the utility make this transition,” Huebner says.

“They’ve got to continue paying for the old plant or figure out some way to substitute or refinance old investment so that they can create the opportunity to get into new ones.”

Because they are monopolies regulated by the Public Service Commission, the utilities have to balance taking losses that hurt shareholders and also keep rates low for the customers. “We’re trying to find some creative solutions around that to make sure rates don’t go up and that investors are able to earn an expected return,” Huebner says.

“We Energies and its parent company are committed to 80% carbon reduction by 2050.”

“To do it quicker than that means we have to figure out how to pay for, or refinance, existing coal plants, so that we can bring more wind and solar online faster,” Huebner says. “Building a coal plant costs one or two billion dollars.”

Amy Jahns, senior communications specialist at We Energies, says We Energies has more than 300 small commercial and industrial customers and more than 1000 residential customers with private solar systems and that the numbers increase year after year. While We Energies closed its coal-burning Pleasant Prairie plant in 2017, its coal-burning Oak Creek power plant has come under criticism by neighbors who complain about coal dust blowing through residential neighborhoods. “We are retiring a lot of our older, less efficient coal-fueled plants and looking for ways to invest in more advanced-technology natural gas units,” including zero carbon-renewable generation, Jahns says.

We Energies built its coal-fueled Elm Road Generating Plant in Oak Creek in 2011. Just 5% of We Energies energy production in 2017 came from renewable sources.

For some, like Elizabeth Katt Reinders, the utilities are not moving fast enough. “There is momentum,” Reinders says. “It is very exciting to see both private and utility-scale investment and commitment to clean energy development. But we are just scratching the surface of clean energy potential in Wisconsin.”

She says that we need to work proactively as a state and as communities within a state

to drive a clean-energy development and anticipate the transition from a fossil-fuel economy to a clean-energy economy.

Wisconsin Has Fallen Behind “We have a very low renewable portfolio standard in Wisconsin,” Reinders says. “We were once leaders, but we have fallen way behind.” She does not believe, however, that state mandates are a silver bullet; she thinks they are one component in bringing about change. “We have a lack of leadership at the state level, but we are seeing local leadership from cities and counties across the state, because it makes economic sense for the communities.” she says. “The local leadership is not waiting for state or federal leadership.”

Nationwide, solar employment since 2010 has grown by 168%, from slightly more than 93,000 jobs to more than 250,000 nationwide, according to The Solar Foundation. According to the U.S. Department of Energy, the electric power generation sector employed 10,182 workers in Wisconsin in 2017. Solar makes up the largest segment with 4,029 jobs, with traditional fossil fuel generation at 3,422 jobs.

In the City of Milwaukee, the residents, businesses and local government spend $1.4 billion on fossil fuels annually, says the Environmental Collaboration Office of the City of Milwaukee.

Quickly-evolving technology has put solar energy solidly on the map as the preferred alternative—environmentally and economically—to fossil-fuel energy generation. Transitioning away from fossil fuels is not as big a leap as it once seemed, but barriers still exist.

With climate change being a growing, multifanged menace, the emergence of green and economical solar energy would seem to have come of age at an opportune moment. Renewable energy production continues to grow. Its growth, however, may not be rapid enough to sway global climate change, according to the International Energy Agency’s World Energy Outlook 2018 report. “Government policies and preferences will play a crucial role in shaping where we go from here,” the report concludes.

Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

ASKTHEATTORNEY:: SPONSORED CONTENT BY ATTORNEY WILLARD P. TECHMEIER

HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO FILE MY PERSONAL INJURY CLAIM? Generally, in the state of Wisconsin, the statute of limitations is 3 years for personal injury damages. This means that you have 3 years from the date of your accident in which to file a lawsuit for your injuries. Not all personal injury cases take that long to resolve because they are settled before a lawsuit is filed.

There are cases that have a different statute of limitations.

For example, an auto-accident wrongful death case has a 2-year statute of limitations. An accident involving a minor has a much longer statute. A minor has 2 years after reaching the age of majority in which to file a claim. In other words, persons who are hurt when they are minors have until age 20 to file a lawsuit for their personal injuries.

There are many exceptions to the statute of limitations where the time for making a claim could be less. Therefore, you need to consult an attorney for your case to be sure that you are not foreclosed from making a claim because the statute of limitations has expired. **The information in this column is not intended to be taken as legal advice. It is intended to provide general information regarding personal injury law. For more specific details, you can always give us a call, and we will assist you to the best of our ability. We look forward to working with you as your trusted legal advisors.

MEET ATTORNEY WILLARD P. TECHMEIER For the last 30 years, Attorney Will Techmeier has focused his practice on helping people who have been injured through no fault of their own. His firm is on record for having received more than $100M for clients and their families. The firm’s mission is to give clients and their families the financial resources to put their lives back together after an accident, whether it be an automobile, a machine guarding incident, bad drug or wrongful death case.

“When we accept a new case at the Techmeier Law Firm, we don’t just open another file, we establish a relationship,” says Techmeier.

Submit your Personal Injury legal questions at: emailadmin@techmeier.com

(414) 400-4000

ASKTHEDENTIST:: SPONSORED CONTENT / BY DR. MURPHY

CARING FOR YOUR ELDERLY PARENT’S TEETH Dear Dr. Stephanie,

I saw your ad in the Shepherd Express. My father’s dentist thinks he needs new upper dentures. His current dentures are 20 years old, and they don’t fit in his mouth that well anymore. He keeps “playing” with the dentures in his mouth and sometimes removes them during the day.

Over the years, he has lost a few teeth, so the “new” dentures would be a full set of dentures that would cover his entire upper mouth. He already has lower dentures, which remained unchanged.

At my dad’s age (93), is it really necessary for him to get new dentures? He is in assisted living and is in the late stages of Alzheimer’s disease. I hate to think of him spending $2,000+ for something he may only use for a year or less. Isn’t there another solution for someone that age? He is in good general health overall, considering the Alzheimer’s. He also has two terminal cancers—prostate and multiple myeloma. He is in remission for both of the cancers.

-Anne

Dear Anne,

I can understand that you are in a difficult situation; adult children are increasingly faced with making decisions for parents SHEPHERD EXPRESS

whose health may be failing, and dental care is no exception. I am assuming, based on your description, that it is not possible to ask your father if he wants a new upper denture. While I certainly can’t tell you what’s best for your dad, I hope I can at least offer some suggestions as to how you might weigh the pros and cons of treatment for him. It sounds as if he has a partial denture; partial dentures are held in the mouth by metal “clasps” that attach to the remaining teeth. If he has lost the teeth that hold the partial in place, then the only other option is to have a full denture made.

A full denture covers the entire roof of the mouth and is held in place by suctioning to the gums. This can be a very different feeling for anyone, but I do worry that, in the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s, it could be a particularly difficult adjustment.

The primary functions of our teeth are chewing, speech and aesthetics. If it were my father, I think that I would consider each of these areas as they relate to his quality of life, how they are affected by his current appliance and the possibility that a new denture might improve/disrupt them.

Is he concerned about the cosmetic appearance of a partial that doesn’t fit well or that he is easily able to take in and out of his mouth? Could the looseness of his current appliance eventually become a safety concern as it relates to choking? Do you feel that his ability to speak is being negatively impacted by the poor fit? Is he having difficulty chewing his food? Is he able to adjust to new things (as I mentioned before, a new full denture will feel like a foreign object at first)?

I hope this is helpful. As I said earlier, I know it must be a difficult decision. Best wishes to both you and your father.

-Dr. Stephanie Murphy

MEET DR. MURPHY Dr. Murphy was drawn to the handson field of dentistry for its artistic and aesthetic elements.

She worked as a dental associate in the North Shore for five years, then established her own practice in 2010. A committed support staff aids her in providing quality, comprehensive oral health care to people of all ages, from toddlers to senior citizens.

Submit your questions at drmurphy@stephaniemurphydds.com

Best of Milwaukee 2016 WINNER

DECEMBER 6 , 2 0 18 | 7

::SAVINGOURDEMOCRACY ( DEC. 6 - DEC. 12, 2018 ) The Shepherd Express serves as a clearinghouse for all activities in the greater Milwaukee area that peacefully push back against discriminatory, reactionary or authoritarian actions and policies of the Donald Trump administration, as well as others who seek to thwart social justice. We will publicize and promote actions, demonstrations, planning meetings, teach-ins, party-building meetings, drinkingdiscussion get-togethers and any other actions that are directed toward fighting back to preserve our liberal democratic system.

Saturday, Dec. 8

Intersectionality, Misogynoir, & The White Gaze @ Milwaukee Public Library (2320 N. Cramer St.), 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m.

This workshop, which is an introduction of concepts and terms that aim to deepen understandings of racial dynamics and oppressions, will explore power structures and how privilege and oppression operate within diverse communities. (This workshop will also be held on Tuesday, Dec. 11 at Highland Community School, 1706 W. Highland Ave.)

Peace Action Wisconsin: Stand for Peace @ the corner of 76th Street and Layton Avenue, noon-1 p.m.

Every Saturday from noon-1 p.m., concerned citizens join with Peace Action Wisconsin to protest war and, literally, “Stand for Peace.” Signs will be provided for those who need them.

Protesters are encouraged to stick around for conversation and coffee afterward.

Sunday, Dec. 9

Stonewall Stage Talk: Black & Pink Milwaukee @ Milwaukee LGBT Community Center (1110 N. Market St.), noon-3 p.m.

Milwaukee Pride and Black & Pink: Milwaukee are coming together to host an event to remember and support incarcerated LGBTQ people during the holiday season. There will be presentation, followed by snacks and refreshments.

Tuesday, Dec. 11

Conversations on Race @ Brown Deer United Methodist Church (5736 W. Brown Deer Road), 6:30-8:30 p.m.

Every month, Brown Deer United Methodist Church hosts a community conversation that invites people from across the city to help dismantle racism. The event is free and open to the public.

What Students Say: Anti-Semitism and Anti-Israel Hostility @ Anshe Sfard Kehillat Torah (6717 N. Green Bay Ave., Glendale), 7:45-9 p.m.

Michelle Shain, associate research scientist at the Cohen Center for Modern Jewish Studies at Brandeis University, will deliver a presentation on anti-Semitism and anti-Israel hostility on campuses.

Wednesday, Dec. 12

Meeting of the Whole @ Clinton Rose Senior Center (3045 N. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Drive), 9:30-11 a.m.

Every other month, the Milwaukee Community Justice Council, a committee of Milwaukee-area criminal justice agencies created by the Milwaukee County Board of Supervisors, hosts community meetings to gather information and receive feedback. The meetings are open to the public.

To submit to this column, please send a brief description of your action, including date and time, to savingourdemocracy@shepex.com. Together, we can fight to minimize the damage that Donald Trump and others of his kind have planned for our great country.

NEWS&VIEWS::POLL

You Don’t Buy Ivanka Trump’s Email Excuse

Last week, we asked if you believe Ivanka Trump when she claimed that she didn’t know she was violating any rules when she used a private email account to conduct government business—considering the fact that Donald Trump spent months on the 2016 campaign trail attacking Hillary Clinton for her emails. You said: n Yes: 12% n No: 88%

What Do You Say? After the last few weeks of startling revelations from the Robert Mueller investigation, do you believe the reports that Donald Trump is beginning to panic? n Yes n No Vote online at shepherdexpress.com. We’ll publish the results of this poll in next week’s issue.

8 | DECEMBER 6, 2018

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

NEWS&VIEWS::TAKINGLIBERTIES

The Great American Farm Bailout Swindle ::BY JOEL MCNALLY

W

hen Donald Trump announced a $12 billion welfare program for farmers facing massive financial losses from his poorly conceived, erratically conducted trade war with China, it looked like a brazen political payoff to rural Trump voters to try to stop a Democratic Party takeover of Congress from creating a check on his corrupt, incompetent presidency. It failed miserably.

An enormous Blue Wave of urban and suburban voters is on track to flip 40 congressional seats for a Democratic House majority—the largest surge for Democrats since gaining 49 seats after the Watergate scandal drove Republican President Richard Nixon from office. Rural voters have remained Trump’s strongest constituency, but now they’re learning just how paltry those farm bailout checks really are. The question for 2020 is whether rural voters will continue to swallow the continuous stream of lies they’ve been fed by a fast-talking city slicker.

The puny payouts to endangered Wisconsin family farmers who lost tens of thousands of dollars in Trump’s trade war are just the tip of the iceberg. It’s the wealthy who really cleaned up from those bailouts. But first, it’s clear who didn’t qualify for much help: struggling Wisconsin farmers. In the first round of payments, 11 of the state’s largest corporate farms received between $50,000 and $81,000. But, the average payment for all Wisconsin farmers was only $2,145, with 237 of them receiving less than $100 each. Those numbers are even worse when you realize how much money state farmers lost due to falling prices, rising tariffs and disappearing markets.

Pennies for Dairy Farmers

The Wisconsin Farmers Union, representing small- and medium-sized farms, said a 55-cow dairy farm would receive $725 from Trump’s bailout, while losing some $36,000 to $48,000 this year. On the high end, a 290-cow dairy farm would get $4,905, but could lose as much as $400,000 this year.

The Environmental Working Group—a nonpartisan research group that has tracked farm subsidies for two decades—said the largest 10% of corporate agribusinesses qualifying for SHEPHERD EXPRESS

bailouts received 68% of all the money as small change was tossed to struggling family farmers on the edge of extinction. If that sounds familiar, it’s the standard pattern for all Republican corporate welfare and tax cuts: Republicans direct most of the financial benefits from their policies to those at the very top who need it the least.

Trump didn’t even bother to consult obedient Congressional Republicans on his $12 billion farm bailout. Acting on his own, he diverted Depression Era-emergency funds created by Democratic President Franklin D. Roosevelt that were intended to reimburse farmers for weather-related disasters and catastrophic crop failures. Trump simply redefined disaster relief to include relief from his own disastrous presidency.

Another quirk of Trump’s farm bailouts was no one actually had to be a farmer to receive the funds! The Washington Post profiled a millionaire Manhattan, N.Y., architect who received a check for $3,300 in farm bailout funds as partowner of his family’s farm in Ohio. He’s one of more than 1,100 urban investors across the country qualifying for farm bailout funds, including 85 living in Milwaukee.

Chinese Pork Payments

The most unbelievable abuse of Trump’s farm bailout reported so far was the awarding of $240,000 in pork payments to Smithfield Foods—the world’s largest pork processor boasting $15 billion in annual revenue. The company’s enormous profits weren’t even the worst part. Remember that the farm bailout was to counter the severe economic damage to U.S. farmers from Trump’s trade war with China.

Since 2013, Smithfield Foods has been owned the WH Group, a Chinese conglomerate.

Bipartisan outrage in the U.S. Senate led by Iowa Republican Sen. Charles Grassley ultimately forced Trump’s Agriculture Department to cancel the payment of nearly a quarter of a million U.S. tax dollars to a Chinese company as compensation for Trump’s trade war with China. But don’t get carried away crediting Sen. Grassley as one of the few Republicans to stand up to Trump’s most stupid moves. There was a good reason Grassley knew what was going on with farm bailouts. Grassley and Democratic Sen. Jon Tester of Montana, both millionaires, own farms and have applied for Trump’s bailout funds.

Trump isn’t the only current government official passing laws and promoting policies to fill his own pockets. That’s why Republicans call Washington, D.C., the “swamp.” Everywhere you look, swamp creatures—including Trump, his family, his cabinet members, as well as lawmakers from both parties—are frolicking and doing back flips in the muck.

The public explanation from Grassley and Tester is the same one Trump uses as a billionaire businessman for paying little or no taxes some years. They take advantage of every public subsidy and tax loophole to which they are legally entitled; there just happen to be a lot more of them when you’re the ones writing the laws. If the Joads in The Grapes of Wrath wanted to survive by farming, they should have run for public office.

Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n DECEMBER 6, 2018 | 9

NEWS&VIEWS::ISSUEOFTHEWEEK

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fter talking with an old Lee Dreyfus Republican (Dreyfus was the moderate Wisconsin Republican governor elected in 1978) who is trying to save his beloved party, he expressed concerns about a little talked about GOP issue. We hear a lot about the fact that Republicans are losing their future voters, but not only did the Republicans lose the popular vote in 2018 by a near record amount, it appears that it is only going to get worse.

Candid Republicans will freely admit that they are losing young voters, minority voters, urban voters and, now, educated suburban white women voters; but, overall, they are also losing educated voters of all kinds. Well-educated individuals and professionals are definitely voting more heavily Democrat. In the last election, Republicans won the non-college educated men by two to one and non-college educated women by 14 points, but they only won college-educated men by just four points and lost college-educated women by 20 points.

The Republicans have also been winning elections with the help of various legal—though dubious—policies such as voter ID, limiting early voting hours and gerrymandering, but the smart Republicans understand that these tricks are not a viable long-term strategy.

The Republicans are currently winning big with uneducated, often rural white voters, especially white males. Trump is clear about this. He has told his crowds, “I loved uneducated people� and got a roaring applause for that line. It was the uneducated, “forgotten Americans� who gave Trump his electoral college victory two years ago. With the help of biased, right-wing media like Fox News, the National Enquirer and extremist “nationalist� websites, he continues to keep their loyalty despite pushing policies that benefit the very wealthy and the big corporations at their expense. The uneducated citizens are hurting and gravitating toward the simplistic answers, and the Republicans are there to provide them.

So, we are beginning to see the choices for voters becoming clearer. On the one hand, you can vote Republican and have a president—and unfortunately a Republican Congress afraid to challenge their Republican president—who is trying to make America more of a blue-collar country where education is not highly valued.

They want to bring back industries like coal instead of seizing the opportunity to develop more non-polluting alternative energy sources that actually creates many more jobs at higher salaries. In Wisconsin, outgoing Gov. Scott Walker and other Republicans have been limiting the amount of money going into all levels of education, viewing teachers and their unions as the enemy, denying science, including human-made climate change, and supporting various deregulatory policies that are destroying our environment.

On the other hand, you can vote for Democrats who want to invest in education, raise taxes primarily on the wealthy and big corporations to pay for increased education spending, support carefully-thought-out regulations on business that protects workers’ safety and the environment.

So, the wise Republicans are concerned about their party’s short-term choices and long-term disastrous outcomes. They understand that if you want a strong growing economy going forward, you must invest more heavily in education and high-skilled training because the robots will replace many basic or moderately complex jobs—or these jobs will continue to move to low-wage nations. They also understand that unless they continue their policy of cutting taxes on the wealthy and cutting regulations on business, they won’t get the hundreds of millions of dollars from the special interest groups like the Koch Brothers to fund their campaigns.

If they support policies that are good for America, the U.S. economy and our citizens, it means that more money must be allocated for education with a fair taxation system to pay for it. However, as more people become better educated and develop strong critical thinking skills, understand science and have a broader understanding of the world, they tend to vote less for Republicans and more for Democrats. This is a serious internal contradiction that could eventually cause the Republican Party to implode. Once again, the Republicans have the arc of history working against them.

Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n

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::DININGOUT

For more Dining, log onto shepherdexpress.com

NICK KUDRYS

FEATURE | SHORT ORDER | EAT/DRINK

Glass + Griddle

Bar Food with a Modern Twist at Glass + Griddle

fish fry. The choices of haddock ($15), lake perch ($16) and wild gulf shrimp ($16) all are done in Milwaukee Brewing Co. beer batter and served with coleslaw, hash browns and tartar sauce. We decided on the lake perch and were pleasantly surprised at the generous portion. The perch was cooked well, and the batter was not overwhelmed by the beer, but light and crispy. The coleslaw was not the creamy variety but more of a red cabbage vinegar slaw. It was the perfect accompaniment with the fried fish.

The Snacks + Shares menu has a little bit of everything, including some healthy and gluten-free options like the cauliflower and chickpeas ($10). New to the menu is a pizza dip ($11)—a big white crock of gooey smoked mozzarella, marinara sauce and ricotta cheese served with triangles of garlic bread—with optional ::BY ALISA MALAVENDA pepperoni ($2). The chicken wings ($12) are Korean-style sticky wings in place of buffalo, but you can get a vegetarian option of buffalo sprouts ($11) with blue he spacious Glass + Griddle is located in Venue cheese and topped with a mound of crispy shoe string potatoes that any veg42 and shares a space with Milwaukee Brewery, etarian will adore. Now, this Jersey girl transplant was intrigued by the disco fries an event space and the factory offices. Beautifully ($13) because it is a “Jersey thing” that you can find at any good diner in the state. designed, the venue has an open glass roof allowing Glass + Griddle’s version included shredded Italian beef, melted mozzarella and you to dine all year in natural light. The industrial look giardiniera piled on top of hand-cut French fries. It was a portion enough for four of steel is softened by the green wall, but it can still be to share. The giardiniera was so good with thin sliced, crunchy vegetables and just quite loud on game night. There are two options for the right amount of tang to cut through the richness of the meat and cheese to seating: You can choose to sit in the intimate restaurant balance out the fried potatoes buried beneath. area or the beer hall in the rear, which has a long bar with seating and There are three salads on the menu. Either chicken ($4) or salmon ($6) can be communal tables with benches. Wherever you sit, you won’t miss any added to any of them for a substantial meal. The Italian chopped had all the flaof the excitement of a game or news story from the plethora of TVs. vors of an antipasti, and even the simple salad was taken to the next level with its The beer list is lengthy, and some varieties are incorporated subtlety charred onion vinaigrette ($9-$12). into a few of the dishes on the menu. Glass + Griddle also offers a nice Burgers + Sandwiches range from a beef patty burger or the fancy half-pound selection of wine, cocktails and spirits. burger with the addition of beer cheese, onions and sun-dried tomato ketchup.

What I love about Glass + Griddle’s menu is that it taps into The lamb merguez with feta cheese and pickled veggies and a fried egg ($14) was bar food, but with a modern twist. It’s food that we all love to worth the trip. The roasted Italian pork had enough meat for two sandwiches and eat during a game and comfort food for a little bite from the broccoli rabe, peppers and sharp proa casual lunch or dinner. You can have volone on a delectable bun. They also offer a jerk chicken oysters from the raw bar, served with Glass + Griddle sandwich with pineapple relish, for those of you who want cocktail, mignonette and fresh horseradto hang on to summer just a little longer, or a vegetarian 1130 N. Ninth St. ish. The oyster menu sheet on the table helps even the falafel sandwich ($10-$13). glassgriddle.com • $$ novice oyster eater, not only by identifying origins but also There are several desserts on the menu. Don’t leave CC, FB, OD, SB, FF, RS , GF giving descriptions. All three choices were fresh. We also without trying the donut of the day ($6) Check out their happened to land there on Friday for their popular all-day Handicap Accessible : Yes brunch menu, events and specials on the website.

12 | D E C E M B E R 6 , 2 0 1 8

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::SHORTORDER

HAVE

Breakfast All Day at Guanajuato

IT

::BY JAMIE LEE RAKE

The recipes at Guanajuato Mexican Restaurant (2317 S. Howell Ave.) are prepared from recipes of the married couple who have owned it since 2007 (at its current Howell Avenue location since 2013). As with many local Mexican restaurants, Guanajuato offers breakfast items throughout the day, including a hearty huevos rancheros, a marvelous steak and chilaquiles. Sometimes described as Mexican hash browns, chilaquiles are softened, fried tortilla chips, here drenched in salsa roja and topped with white cheese. The skirt steak is served alongside customary refried beans and seasoned rice, as well as a side of sour cream. It’s an impressive panoply of textures and flavors.

In the mood for dessert any time of day? Guanajuato’s chocoflan makes for a temptation worth the caloric splurge. It’s a dual-layered confection, its top white and creamy with a chocolaty bottom looking like dense cake, but hitting the tongue with a heavy, moist consistency approaching that of pudding. Other little things make Guanajuato special, such as a lime slice substituting for lemon in its unsweetened iced tea, or the coriander in the guacamole. In a crowded field on a side of town, where competition for Mexican dining dollars is plentiful, Guanajuato truly stands out.

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D E C E M B E R 6 , 2 0 1 8 | 13

DININGOUT::EATDRINK

VEGETARIAN JAMAICAN FROM A KINGSTON GASTROPUB ::BY DAVID LUHRSSEN Much like Southern soul food, the dishes of Caribbean nations such as Jamaica were born of necessity, as impoverished people made culinary miracles from meagre resources. And, like anything else, traditional Jamaican dishes can be given a healthy contemporary spin. That’s one objective of sisters Michelle and Suzanne Rousseau, owners of a Kingston gastropub and authors of Provisions: The Roots of Jamaican Cooking—150 Vegetarian Recipes. Like most recent cookbook writers, the sisters have family stories to tell, along with updated family recipes to relate. Provisions includes dozens of things to do with plantains, breadfruit and ackee, “Jamaica’s national fruit.”

Some of their recipes are less obviously Caribbean, such as the artichoke dip made with Dijon mustard and grated Parmesan, or lasagna with coconut milk. The photographs are tantalizing.

Located in the Country Inn & Suites • 350 E Seven Hills Rd • Port Washington (414) 803-5177 • www.lepantobanquet.com 14 | D E C E M B E R 6 , 2 0 1 8

Bittercube Expands with New Location, Offerings ::BY SHEILA JULSON

S

ince forming Bittercube artisanal bitters in 2009, owners Ira Koplowitz and Nicholas Kosevich have become rock stars of the craft cocktail scene in Milwaukee and beyond. The duo has been featured in national food and beverage magazines, and through the consulting arm of Bittercube, they help bars and restaurants from California to South Carolina develop unique craft-cocktail programs. Formerly a long-time tenant at Lincoln Warehouse, Bittercube now has a spacious 9,000-square foot space at 4828 W. Lisbon Ave., in the Uptown Crossing business district on Milwaukee’s northwest side.

Bittercube’s new space allows plenty of room for production, as well as offices and the Bittercube Bar & Bazaar, a bar/tasting room that serves cocktails showcasing their bitters and elixirs. An on-site liquor store sells bitters, spices, vintage cocktail books and cocktail equipment—a onestop shop for craft cocktail enthusiasts.

Koplowitz and Kosevich have backgrounds as bartenders at cocktail bars in Chicago and Minneapolis. They eventually met and moved to Milwaukee to offer bitters making and consulting. They initially did a six-month residency at Bacchus to help develop their cocktail program, and during that time Koplowitz and Kosevich developed their first six varieties of bitters. To-

day, Bittercube offers eight flavors: Cherry Bark Vanilla; Bolivar, with cinnamon, chamomile and jasmine; Orange; Trinity, featuring citrus, dried fruits and vanilla; Jamaican No. 1, with black pepper, allspice and ginger; Jamaican No. 2, with grapefruit, hibiscus and island spice; Blackstrap, with cinnamon, kola nut and nutmeg; and Corazón, with cocoa, coffee and hot pepper.

Today’s popularity of craft cocktails is a natural progression of society’s desire to return to true, natural foods and flavors, said Koplowitz.

“There’s been an explosion of craft breweries, with people demanding great products in their beer, and then you see this movement toward restaurants that are chef-driven and doing farm-totable food. That really led the charge for the craft cocktail movement as well, but what I’ve seen over the last decade is that there’s a lot of staying power with cocktails,” he said. “This isn’t a new thing; this idea of craft cocktails was really around before Prohibition, and we’re just seeing the renaissance of it.”

Koplowitz also noted that the home consumer that loved to cook and tinker has driven the craft cocktail movement as much as bartenders. Bittercube’s flagship, Cherry Bark Vanilla, helped put the company on the national map, Koplowitz said, but each flavor has a unique use. Despite rapid growth—this year, they produced over 1,000 gallons of bitters each month—Bittercube bitters are still all natural and artisan produced.

“We still peel oranges by hand and do not use any extracts or oils. We’re proud to use botanicals in their natural state, so the bitters are really flavorful. As we’ve grown, we’ve been able to produce more high-quality bitters because we can now source ingredients closer to origin and get unique ingredients.”

While bitters are still the lion’s share of Bittercube’s production, they’ve started producing cocktail elixirs, which are the non-alcoholic ingredients in a cocktail (think the lime component of a margarita). Koplowitz said those are ideal for high volume restaurants that don’t necessarily have the time or the volume to produce their own, but still want to do craft cocktails at a fast clip.

For more information, visit bittercube.com.

Ira Koplowitz and Nicholas Kosevich SHEPHERD EXPRESS

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

D E C E M B E R 6 , 2 0 1 8 | 15

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Chocolate Almond Tortes Vegan & Gluten Free Servings: 9 Tortes TORTE INGREDIENTS: 2 C Gluten Free Flour (300g), 1 C Almond Flour (95g), 2 C Sugar (400g), ⅓ C Cocoa Powder (40g), 2 tsp. Baking Soda (10g), ½ tsp. Xanthan Gum (2g), 2 C Coffee Cold, ¾ C Safflower or Olive Oil, ½ Avocado, ⅛ C Apple Cider Vinegar, 1 ½ Tbsp.

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D E C E M B E R 6 , 2 0 1 8 | 17

::A&E

Brought to you by The Milwaukee Art Museum

LINDSEY ABENDSCHEIN

FEATURE | FILM | THEATRE | ART | BOOKS | CLASSICAL MUSIC | DANCE

Rehearsal for First Stage’s ‘Girls in the Boat’

First Stage Premieres ‘Girls in the Boat’ NEW PLAY RELATES SELDOM-TOLD SAGA OF FIGHT FOR EQUAL RIGHTS ::BY JOHN JAHN

N 1975, THE WOMEN’S ROWING TEAM AT YALE UNIVERSITY PROTESTED to the athletic department for equal funding and conditions, eventually drawing national attention to their situation, as well as the overall need for equality in women’s collegiate sports. This, the “Title IX” protest, provides the background of Alice Austen’s new play, Girls in the Boat, which receives its world premiere production via First Stage this month.

The women on Yale’s team had previously been forced to wait for the school’s men’s team to shower after practice and were not provided with a locker room or usable showers of their own.

Hence, they’d essentially just have to wait until the men were done, sometimes sitting on a crowded bus outside, no matter what the weather conditions. It’s when inconveniences become indignities without justification that great changes can emerge. American journalists were able to capture the women’s rowing team’s protest and, thereby, draw national attention to it. The spotlight on the women’s crew program drew attention to the importance of equal treatment for sports teams consisting of men, women or both.

“The play sweeps through a lot of women’s rowing history and touches on the protest, the 1975 team [the famous “Red Rose Crew” coached by Harry Parker that competed in the world championships that year], the 1976 Olympic team and more—all the way through Rio 2016,” explains Milwaukee-based director, actor and theatre educator Marcella Kearns.

“The characters of the crew are essentially all composites of women who had their positions in the boat,” Kearns continues. “Some of the characters are heavily based on real rowers whom Alice has known, and some are inspired by some famous rowers—Carie Graves (Red Rose Crew rower from Wisconsin and subsequent Olympic rower); Lynn Silliman (a young coxswain from California, also on the Red Rose Crew and in the Olympics); Anne Warner and Chris Ernst (who led the Title IX protest at Yale); and Anita DeFrantz (now one of the most powerful women in the Olympics), among others. The coach in the play is, in part, based on Harry Parker but is also a composite.”

18 | D E C E M B E R 6 , 2 0 1 8

‘Bracing Relationships and Indomitable Personalities’

Kearns currently serves as the associate artistic director of Milwaukee Chamber Theatre and as an adjunct instructor of theater at Carthage College and Marquette University. She’ll be directing First Stage’s Young Company for this production. She’s quick to point out that Girls in the Boat is no museum piece about women’s rights struggles of days gone by. “Alice Austen has written a play that is both a race through and a love letter to the history of U.S. women’s rowing,” she says.

“Of greater weight to me in this story, however, are the sometimes thorny, sometimes bracing relationships and indomitable personalities of a crew striving at any cost to win the ultimate prize.

This crew battles family, school, government, one another and themselves for the chance to do what they love most. For these women, unity is their best hope for victory. What e pluribus unum—“out of many, one”—may cost them, and how it may reward them, is the greatest legacy of a noble sport,” says Kearns.

Alice Austen is a noted playwright and producer.

She’s received residencies and commissions from the Royal Court in London, England, the Goodman Theatre, Steppenwolf and Chicago Dramatists. She wrote Girls in the Boat specifically for First Stage’s Young Company—the Theater Academy’s awardwinning advanced theater training program for high school students.

As artistic director Jeff Frank says, “We are very excited to have Girls in the Boat premiere at First Stage. The play was written specifically with the teens in our Young Company in mind. It shares a great American story that many people probably haven’t heard about before. For this production, Milwaukee Rowing Club members have been wonderful collaborators and advisors; our cast had the opportunity to meet with them to learn more about the sport of rowing, its ideals and its values.

It was a very meaningful experience for the them.”

The Young Company cast for Girls in the Boat includes Kayla First Stage Salter (from GermanGirls in the Boat town), Emily Fedewa Milwaukee Youth (Hales Corners), Mary Arts Center Jensik (Greenfield), Molly Boyle (Port Dec. 7-16 Washington), Ila Koch (Wauwatosa), Mathilde Prosen-Oldani (Shorewood), Reese Parish (Glendale), Selma Rivera and Jennie Babisch (Milwaukee), Sylvie Arnold (Hubertus) and Kate Lepianka (Grafton).

Girls in the Boat runs Dec. 7-16 at the Milwaukee Youth Arts Center, 325 W. Walnut St., in Downtown Milwaukee. For tickets, call 414-267-2961 or visit firststage.org. First Stage deems the play quite suitable for children 13 years and older.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::FEATURE

Best of Milwaukee Finalists Offer Great Gift Ideas

H

oliday season is in full swing, and that means it’s time to start thinking about the age-old tradition of gift giving. From your standard family stocking-stuffers to company white elephant exchanges, finalists in the Shepherd Express’ 2018 Best of Milwaukee readers’ choice competition have unique, local gifts that will stand out from a gift purchased at one of those big box chains everyone was fighting over on Black Friday.

Find something for the antique lover in your life at Alt’s, Antiques on Pierce, Farm Girl Art and Antiques or Riverview Antique Market. Bookworms would appreciate a new release or classic from Boswell Book Co., Half Price Books, Voyageur Book Shop or Woodland Pattern. Looking for something for that special someone in your life? Pick up an intimate gift from After Hours Lingerie & Gifts, Temptations or the Tool Shed.

It’s almost certain that you will give or receive clothing as a holiday gift this year. Local boutiques such as Sparrow Collective, Hyde & Chic MKE, JazzyRae’ Jewels and Accessories, SHOP and URSA offer a wide variety of styles. Little Monsters and They Grow Like Weeds sell fun threads for the kids. And between Harleys, MILWORKS, MODA3 and SayWerd, you are bound to find something for the stylish man in your life.

Music is an integral part of the holiday season, and any Milwaukee musician would appreciate a gift from Cascio Music, Cream City Music, Dave’s Guitar Shop or Wade’s Guitar Shop. If you’re more into listening to music than actually playing it, Acme Records, Bullseye Records, Rush-Mor Ltd Music & Video and The Exclusive Company have a wide range of vinyl and CDs for just about every taste.

The perfect furniture piece can be a holiday gift that is remembered for years to come.

BILTRITE Furniture, Bob’s Discount Furniture, Steinhafels Furniture and West Elm are great choices for new pieces. Brew City Salvage, Cream City Restoration, Milwaukee Habitat for Humanity ReStore and Nostalgia Home Décor all offer awesome vintage options. If you’re looking to go a bit smaller than a couch or coffee table, pick up a carpet or fine rug from Best Carpet Inc., Carpetland USA Pewaukee, Kerns Carpet One Floor & Home, Oriental Rug Gallery, Shabahang & Sons Gallery of Fine Rugs and The Loom House.

Your pets are just as much a part of the family as anyone else, so get them something from Bark N’ Scratch Outpost, Bentley’s Pet Stuff, Mac’s PET DEPOT Barkery and Pet Supplies.

Still not sure what to buy for that especially difficult friend or family member? Milwaukee has a number of unique gift shops where an idea is bound to come to you. These littlebit-of-Milwaukee-made-everything shops include KitschëCoo Unique Gifts & Classes, LOCALmke, Sparrow Collective, Tippecanoe Herbs and Apothecary, as well as The Waxwing.

The 2018 Best of Milwaukee winners will be unveiled on Tuesday, Jan. 22, at Potawatomi Hotel & Casino. Until then, thanks to everyone who voted, and make sure to support our many local businesses when out shopping this holiday season.

MILWAUKEE BEARD BOOK

TEQUILA, TACOS & TACKY SWEATERS Tuesday, December 11 Merriment Social 5:30-9pm • $25

Enjoy 6 craft tequila cocktail samples, a specialty Herradura Ultra tasting, street tacos and music DJ’d by Hunter Williams and Christian Vega.

And yes, there will be a tacky sweater contest with prizes!

shepherdtickets.com THIS IS A 21+ EVENT.

Here’s a unique holiday gift for young local hipsters, the MKE Beard Book. The title of this coffee table book by local photographer Jessica Kaminski is self-explanatory. It’s a collection of artfully posed and lit portraits of bearded Milwaukee men. They were taken, as she explains in her intro, in 2015, when “beards were everywhere.” They’re still everywhere, and you may know some of the guys pictured herein—or seen them passing by behind their furious growths.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

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Browse pages 20 - 25 for holiday gifts that will make the season bright!

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AMERICAN SCIENCE & SURPLUS Don’t stick just anything in their stockings…shop with geeks, treasure hunters, artists and mad scientists for the most incredible stuff in Milwaukee! From robotic lizards and wooden catapult kits to beaker mugs and ludicrously-bright flashlights, American Science & Surplus has thousands of unique items to educate, entertain and most certainly give you a reason to giggle.

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A community-focused design and letterpress print shop, their days are spent crafting one-of-a-kind impressions on paper and, by night, opening up type drawers and teaching you how to do the same. Treat your peeps to a Drink&Ink gift card this season, and you’ll be gifting an amazing night of drinks and poster printing at their weirdly awesome, 100-year-old letterpress print shop—an experience they’ll never forget!

BILTRITE FURNITURE-LEATHERMATTRESSES A 4th generation local, family business that has proudly served the Milwaukee area since 1928 that takes pride in their quality, pricing and personal service. Their specialties include affordable, better quality furniture and mattresses, mostly USA- and Amish-made, and small-scale furniture. They

have a huge in-stock selection as well as affordable custom options with your choice of fabric, leather, wood, finish and hardware.

BRADY STREET FESTIVUS Brady Street celebrates the return of Festivus on Saturday, December 8th, 3pm til 1:30am. Registration required for the 3rd Annual Festivus One Mile Beer Run and Feats of Strength. The Festivus for the Rest of us…

BREW CITY BRANDS Established in 1986, Brew City Brand is a family-owned, Milwaukee-based clothing company that designs and prints incredibly local products—it celebrates everything that makes Milwaukee iconic. You’ll find the perfect gift for that special someone (or for yourself!) to show off that unique Milwaukee pride—think t-shirts, glassware, can coozies, sweatshirts, socks and even beer-scented candles. Brew City has three retail locations at the Milwaukee Public Market, General Mitchell Field Airport and Southridge Mall or online at www.brewcityonline.com.

BREWED CAFÉ In the bottom of a house on the East Side’s Historic Brady Street lies a brightly colored, delightfully warm and homey cafe. Brewed serves up all-day breakfast, sandwiches and weekly homemade soup specials in a cozy space. You are invited to sit, relax and enjoy a cup of their excellent coffee or mull their eclectic art over a glass of wine or beer.

BUDDY SQUIRREL Buddy Squirrel combines the best of both worlds when it comes to satisfying your sweet tooth or craving for salt. Whether you’re looking for confections, nuts or gourmet popcorns, Buddy Squirrel offers a wide selection of award-winning specialties at three, convenient retail locations. Treat SHEPHERD EXPRESS

yourself or that special someone to delicious indulgences that are handmade using traditional recipes to make the perfect gift, holiday treat or party favor!

CASCIO MUSIC Join this 72-year-old musical instrument retailer in celebrating Small Business Saturday! You will find endless savings with special sales starting on Black Friday that carry over right into Saturday with even more doorbusters. Their experienced music team looks forward to serving everyone from the budding musician to the seasoned rock star and everyone in between!

CBD THERAPEUTICS OF WI CBD Therapeutics of WI is a local, family business of Organic CBD products in Southeastern WI. All products are made from organic fair-trade ingredients, contain 99% pure CBD isolate and are THC free. Come celebrate their first Small Business Saturday! There will be door prizes, giveaways with super-cool, free tote bags, CBD infused refreshments, and a SALE! CBD Therapeutics HOLIDAZE Gift Bags will be loaded with products at a steep discount that’s perfect for gifting.

CHRISTMAS IN THE WARD Make your list, check it twice, then get all your holiday shopping done in the national and locally owned shops of the Historic Third Ward. You’ll find the perfect gifts for all the special people on your list.

DAVID BARNETT GALLERY Have you been to David Barnett Gallery? Located within the historic Button Mansion overlooking Lake Michigan, the gallery houses over 6,000 artworks from around the world in a variety of styles and prices. No wonder it has been revered as a Wisconsin art destination! The gallery offers custom picture framing, art appraisals, restoration, installation, and giclée printing. Gift Certificates available!

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

FISCHBERGER’S VARIETY Fischberger’s Variety, a one-of-a-kind gift shop masquerading as an old-time variety store, aims to have the finest and freshest build-your-own $20 gifts for all ages. You’ll find unique, thoughtful gifts including a large selection of books, quality toys, home goods, yarn and fun, cool stuff guaranteed!

GREAT NORTHERN DISTILLING Is one of your favorite gifts to give or receive a bottle liquor? If so, Great Northern Distilling has what you need.

Distilled in Plover, WI, they embrace the ingredients grown in the fields around them. Visit their distillery to see the process in action and stay for a tour and tasting--it’s just a quick road trip away! Pick up a bottle for a gift and don’t forget one for yourself; after all, it is the holidays.

JEWELERS GUILD Besides the typical jewelry store amenities, the Jewelers Guild offers beautiful retail jewelry showcasing 100% handcrafted works by talented jewelers that are ready to go home with you. However, their specialty is custom pieces designed just for you! Stop in for their Make & Take Ornament event during their Small Business Saturday Open House—open to all ages and skill levels!

incredible and unusual selection of distinctive, imaginative gifts, antiques and décor. Visit them again or learn why they are a year-round favorite of so many!

SCHWANKE-KASTEN JEWELERS Great things come in small packages at Schwanke-Kasten Jewelers. Since 1899, they have offered beautiful engagement rings, jewelry and timepieces. Their long-standing reputation of outstanding customer service, with onsite gemologists, goldsmith and watchmaker has made them one of the most trusted and respected jewelers in the Milwaukee area. This holiday season, shop local at Schwanke-Kasten!

SPARROW COLLECTIVE A brick-and-mortar boutique and gift shop featuring contemporary clothing and artisan goods. Their local gallery sells handcrafted items such as printed tees, jewelry, accessories, bath and home goods, candles, gifts and so much more. Featuring monthly metalsmithing, jewelry, calligraphy and fiber classes in their Milwaukee shop. Stop in and check out their specials on Small Business Saturday!

URSA

Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate. Just about everyone loves chocolate, especially at the holidays, and Kilwins selection is made from the finest ingredients on earth. You’ll melt their hearts as it melts in their mouths. Don’t forget their luscious caramels, creamy ice cream or fudge. You can even take a class!

Come visit URSA and enjoy a unique shopping experience in their relaxing, sun-filled boutique. You’ll find a unique collection of gifts and goods to make your home look and feel it’s best. You’ll also find women’s & men’s apparel, jewelry, apothecary goods, houseplants and a wide selection of space cleansing incense, smudge sticks and candles. Shop with them on KK in Bay View. Free parking available in their lot.

MONCHES FARM

THE WAXWING

KILWINS

Located in the scenic Holy Hill area of Wisconsin, is a charming and beautiful property decorated with a huge selection of fresh wreaths, trees and garlands. Stroll the grounds and say hello to the doves in the greenhouse and meet the flock of rare and heritage breed chickens. The lovely shop has a truly

Find a unique, one-of-a-kind, handmade gift for nearly every occasion at The Waxwing, a Milwaukee boutique giftshop that features the work of more than 350 local and national makers! You’ll find this treasure located on Milwaukee’s East Side at the corner of North and Oakland avenues.

D E C E M B E R 6 , 2 0 1 8 | 21

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SHEPHERD EXPRESS

Hear ye! Hear ye!

New 2019 Season

Be it known that The Southwestern Suburban Symphony invites you to attend an evening of Feasting, Music, and Merriment at The Indian Community School 10405 W. St. Martins Road, Franklin, WI, 53132

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 16TH 2018

& Yuletide Concert Dinner at 5pm | Concert at 7:30pm THE SOUTHWESTERN SUBURBAN SYMPHONY with Christine Flasch, Conductor Dinner and Concert: Adult - $60 | Children (6-18) $30 Concert Only: Adult - $35 | Children (6-18) - $15 Under 6: FREE

Treat Your Family to a very special Christmas gift!

Reserve a table for eight for $450 ($30 savings & includes catered dinner and show plus a concert with full symphony and vocal soloists.)

Best gift they will receive this year!

…a cool little historic venue in downtown Green Lake

bluegrass January 10 • $20

singersongwriter January 19 • $22

Velvet Caravan

Willy Porter

Jig Jam

Laura Ingalls Wilder

TICKETS AT:

WWW.SWSSYMPHONY.ORG

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

indie-folk/ rock February 9 • $22

swing jazz February 2 • $22

irish bluegrass March 2 • $24

uplifting musical March 9 • $15

Albert Cummings soulful blues March 30 • $24

Skerryvore

folk, ro ck and americana March 23 • $25

April Surprise!

Our April line-up is still in the works. These shows will be announced in early 2019 via E-Blast. Sign up today to be among the first to get the scoop!

Visit thrasheroperahouse.com and click “Join Our E-List.”

Paul Thorn Band

Call 414-434-2028 For groups of 10+: $25 (Concert Only)

Nicholas David

Barefoot Movement

b l u e s y, r o c k i n g a n d t h o r o u g h ly southern May 3 & 4 • $30

Session Americana

freewheeling m o d e r n hootenanny May 11 • $23

Second City Comedy/ Improv July 20 • $30

506 Mill St. • Green Lake, WI • 54941 920-294-4279 • www.thrasheroperahouse.com D E C E M B E R 6 , 2 0 1 8 | 23

While you’re here, enjoy our Egg Nog Latte with cinnamon and nutmeg!

And are you in need of gift ideas?

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• Coffee • Gift Cards • • Jewelry • Artwork • latte soap • • Merch • T-shirts • decals • Open Daily: 6:30am-7PM

uest G r u O e B at the 29th Ann

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Irish Singer, Rory Makem, will bring

A Christmas Tradition Concert

IT’S FREE AND OPEN TO THE PUBLIC! For more information call 414-302-4308

to the Irish Cultural and Heritage Center 2133 W. Wisconsin Ave., Milwaukee Saturday, December 15 at 7:30pm

Tickets: www.ichc.net or call 414-345-8800

24 | D E C E M B E R 6 , 2 0 1 8

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

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Half-Off Your First Month at CoMotion Fitness $130 value for $65 WWW.SHEPSTORE.COM the

cash & carry catering 414-355-6600 cashandcarrycatering.com

A DESTINATION FOR THE ADVENTUROUS AND DISCERNING SINCE 1980. MONCHES FARM TURNS INTO A BEAUTIFUL HOLIDAY WONDERLAND THIS TIME OF YEAR! Fresh cut Christmas trees, a fire burning outside, wreaths made from many different greens and berries, and a one-stop shop that is filled with lights and decorations for the season to make your place cozy and heartwarming.

Tucked away in the countryside near Holy Hill: 5890 Monches Rd., Colgate WI 262-966-2787 | www.monchesfarm.com

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TEQUILA, TACOS & TACKY SWEATERS Merriment Social • 5:30-9pm Tuesday, December 11 • $25

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SHEPHERD EXPRESS

D E C E M B E R 6 , 2 0 1 8 | 25

JOE KIRSCHLING

::THISWEEKINMILWAUKEE

Smoking Popes

Cairns

FRIDAY, DEC. 7

THURSDAY, DEC. 6

Smoking Popes w/ Dramatic Lovers @ The Back Room at Colectivo, 7:30 p.m.

Cairns w/ Marielle Allschwang and Old Earth @ Anodyne Coffee, 7 p.m.

The dream-pop project Cairns began as a solo outlet for Milwaukee musician John Larkin—a veteran of bands like Gauss, YYLA and Calliope—before expanding into a full band itself. The project’s early EPs were decidedly lo-fi affairs, some of them recorded partially on a VHS player, but Cairns’ new debut full-length Entanglements is far more expansive, a rich, immersive experience filled with unhurried jazzy instrumentation. Despite the fuller sound, the hazy, muted atmosphere of the group’s lo-fi early recordings remains. This is uncommonly intimate music. Cairns is joined on this release show for the album by a pair of indelible Milwaukee songwriters, Marielle Allschwang and Old Earth.

Radio Milwaukee Music Awards @ 88Nine Radio Milwaukee, 6:30 p.m.

Picking up in the ’90s where bands like The Replacements and Dead Milkmen left off in the ’80s, the Smoking Popes played bold, punk-influenced pop music and fraternized with some of the era’s prominent punk and alternative bands (most notably Green Day). When frontman Josh Caterer tried to bring his newfound Christianity into the band’s secular oeuvre, however, the group defaulted in 1999, breaking up before they had their own chance to conquer the radio. Their reputation grew posthumously, as bands like Alkaline Trio and Fall Out Boy sang their praises, until 2005 finally brought a well-received reunion. This year the group released its third album since reuniting, and the first album recorded with its original lineup in 20 years, Into The Agony.

Cache Navideño @ Latino Arts Auditorium, 7:30 p.m.

More than 8,000 people voted for their favorite Milwaukee artists, albums and songs in this year’s Radio Milwaukee Music Awards, and the station will announce the winners at this awards presentation at its 220 E. Pittsburgh Ave. studio. The event will feature live performances from House of Renji, Paper Holland, Amanda Huff and Dramatic Lovers. The station will also be giving out its Humanitarian Award and Critics Choice Award, as well as Rising Star and Milwaukee Music Ambassador honors. Tickets are $12 in advance and $15 at the door.

King’s X @ Shank Hall, 8 p.m.

Maybe it’s for the best that King’s X never found the mammoth success that many of their metal peers did in the late-’80s, since unlike many of the hair-metal acts they were passed over in favor of on MTV, they’ve gone on to become an enduring cult act. A couldhave-been breakthrough single in 1989, “Over My Head,” wasn’t enough to turn the band into a top-tier headliner, and their even catchier 1990 follow-up single “It’s Love” arrived during a time when the band was sidelined with management issues. In 1994, when grunge was finishing off the remnants of ’80s hard-rock, King’s X received prestigious opening slot on a Pearl Jam tour, but even that exposure didn’t do much to change their commercial fortunes. It’s been a decade since the band released a new studio album, but in 2012 they delivered the solid live set Burning Down Boston.

For more than 20 years, conguero Cecil Negron and his Latin music ensemble Cache MKE have been performing traditional Latin sounds around Midwest stages, drawing from Afro-Caribbean sounds as well as salsa and Latin jazz. The percussive sextet, which has performed at local festivals including Jazz in the Park, has lined up a special holiday set for this performance at the Latino Arts Auditorium.

The Big Wu w/ Pat Ferguson & The Sundown Sound @ Turner Hall Ballroom, 8 p.m.

Just how long have the Big Wu been at it? They were the very first group ever to take the stage at Bonnaroo, during the festival’s first year. Their storied set opening the Tennessee music festival in 2002 in front of tens of thousands of eager attendees helped make them rising stars in the jam scene and one of the Midwest’s most popular jam acts. For years the Grateful Dead and Allman Brothers-inspired group curated a music festival of its own, the Big Wu Family Reunion, which, while not as gigantic as Bonnaroo, became one of the Midwest’s most celebrated jam festivals. These days the group doesn’t tour as aggressively as it used to, though they still play often around the Midwest.

King’s X The Big Wu 26 | D E C E M B E R 6 , 2 0 1 8

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

Read our daily events guide, Today in Milwaukee, on shepherdexpress.com

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-. - .)(( The Breath of Sound World Tour

Samantha Fish

TUESDAY, DEC. 11

Samantha Fish w/ Jonathan Long @ Shank Hall, 8 p.m.

Samantha Fish’s spirited 2009 live album Live Bait helped her attract the attention of the German blues imprint Ruf Records, which signed her and paired her with a pair of two other young blues guitarists, Cassie Taylor and Dani Wilde, on the 2011 album Girls With Guitars. Fish has since rotated through a variety of different collaborators on her subsequent albums for the label. Her 2015 album Wild Heart was grounded in roots rock, but she took a harder, more aggressive turn on her latest record, 2017’s Chills & Fever, which she recorded in Detroit with members of the blues-punk band Detroit Cobras.

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 12 John Legend @ The Riverside Theater, 8 p.m.

John Legend is the first to poke fun at his image as a silver-tongued, ivory-tickling crooner. He’s parodied his image on Stephen Colbert’s Christmas special, where he sang a typically sensual song about nutmeg, and in his own video for his 2008 hit “Green Light,� which opened with him boring a party with a quiet rendition of his signature ballad “Ordinary People.� But in truth it takes talent to make schmaltz sound as alluring as Legend does, and his buttery voice flatters even the hokiest material.

Case in point: Legend’s new Christmas album, A Legendary Christmas, which features renditions of the expected standards (including “Silver Bells� and a brassy, nondepressing version of the Charlie Brown staple “Christmas Time Is Here�) and cameos from Stevie Wonder and Esperanza Spaulding. The EGOT-winning entertainer will perform some of that holiday material at this show.

Estas Tonne @ Turner Hall Ballroom, 8 p.m.

After years of performing around the globe, the Ukrainian-born guitarist Estas Tonne first caught the attention of the masses in 2012, when a video of one of his virtuosic street performances went viral, eventually garnering more than 50 million views. The meditative acoustic guitarist identifies as a nomad, not claiming any country as his home, and his music reflects that global mindset, drawing from Flamenco, Latin, classical and gypsy music.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

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::OFFTHECUFF

Barbara Joose & Renée Graef

‘Lulu and Rocky in Milwaukee’

OFF THE CUFF WITH AUTHORS BARBARA JOOSSE AND RENÉE GRAEF ::BY CATHERINE JOZWIK

I

n their new book, Lulu and Rocky in Milwaukee, Barbara Joosse and Renée Graef capture the city’s rich history, charm—and a bit of magic. The book’s characters enjoy a stay at the Pfister, a visit to the Milwaukee Art Museum, cheese curds and polka. In their long and fruitful careers, Joosse, a Mequon resident, and Graef, a Milwaukee native who now lives in California, have written and illustrated over 130 books for children, including Mama, Do You Love Me?, titles in the American Girl series and The Nutcracker, published by HarperCollins. Off the Cuff caught up with Joosse and Graef to ask them a few questions about Lulu and Rocky, published by Sleeping Bear Press of Ann Arbor, Michigan.

Shepherd

Swag Get it here: theshepstore.com

How did you come up with the idea for Lulu and Rocky?

BJ: Other children’s books are about a city’s sites, but don’t show the spirit of the city.

Renée and I are crazy about Milwaukee, a city that can be very sophisticated but is also down-to-earth at the same time. The book is our love letter to Milwaukee, and we really wanted to make our city look good.

RG: I think that Milwaukee is such a special place, and I’m honored to illustrate this book.

How were the characters of Lulu and Rocky developed?

BJ: Lulu is my granddaughter’s name. Originally, Lulu and Rocky were going to be human characters, but we decided to make them foxes because they are curious and cute. Lulu and Rocky are also cousins. Other characters, such as Aunt Fanny (to whom the pair write letters, but you never see), and Norman the Doorman (a bear who acts as a sort of paternal figure), were added as time went on.

Can you talk about the book’s locations?

RG: We tried to include classic landmarks, such as the Milwaukee Art Museum (which I feel embodies the spirit of Milwaukee), that will be around for generations to come. I just love that Milwaukee will be in the limelight. People don’t realize what a gem we have.

BJ: When kids read books, they tend to focus on illustrations. If you read a book often, you start to focus on details you didn’t see before. In our book, for example, you can pick out a Colectivo Coffee mug or the Gas Company flame.

What are your future book plans?

BJ: We have begun work on the second book in the Lulu and Rocky series. This one will be set in Detroit. We also have a number of book signings and other events coming up.

RG: I’m happy that the first book of the series is set in Milwaukee. I’m just thrilled that people are seeing what a wonderful city Milwaukee is.

For a list of book signings and other author/illustrator events, visit reneegraef.com.

28 | D E C E M B E R 6 , 2 0 1 8

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::PERFORMINGARTSWEEK For More to Do, visit shepherdexpress.com

THEATRE

Nunsense

Nunsense is a musical comedy about a group of nuns who love to entertain.

The “Little Sisters of Hoboken” unexpectedly need to raise money not merely to get their convent back in order, but to bury their dear sisters who were accidentally poisoned by their own convent cook! For the latter cause, they put on a rambunctious revue filled with comical song and dance numbers.

Nunsense’s originating idea is unique in the annals of musical theater. Its author and composer, Dan Goggin, started its story as a line of greeting cards! Goggin then expanded the concept into a cabaret show that ran for 38 weeks; eventually, he further fine-tuned Nunsense into the full-length musical it is today. Its original Off-Broadway production opened in December 1985, ran for 3,672 performances and became the second-longest-running Off-Broadway show in history. Its success has further spawned a television adaptation, six sequels and three spin-offs. (John Jahn) Dec. 7-16 at Memories Ballroom, 1077 Lake Drive, Port Washington. For tickets and show-accompanying dinner menus, call 262-284-6850 or visit memoriesballroom.com.

Medea

One of antiquity’s most archetypal legends comes vividly into life in Euripides’ greatest play, Medea, first produced in 431 BCE. When her husband, Greek hero Jason, abandons Medea—a former princess of the barbarian kingdom of Colchis—and their children, a battle of the sexes becomes a nightmarish venture into questions of vengeance, justice, family, loyalty and pride. As Medea decides how far she will go to bring Jason to task for his betrayal, her community must grapple with the consequences that anger can bring upon the innocent.

Medea speaks to modern audiences because its themes are universal. It sparked renewed interest with the rise of the late 20th-century feminist movement, being interpreted as a nuanced and sympathetic portrayal of a woman’s struggle to take charge of her own life in a male-dominated world. As an interesting side note which would no doubt have thrilled Euripides, his ancient Greek tragedy holds the American Tony Award record for most wins for the same female lead character: Judith Anderson (1948), Zoe Caldwell (1982) and Diana Rigg (1994). (John Jahn) This Voices Found Repertory production takes place Dec. 6-16 in the Arcade Theatre at the Underground Collaborative, 161 W. Wisconsin Ave. For tickets, visit voicesfoundrep.com.

MORE-TO-DO

“Resonate”

In Carthage College’s annual fall dance show (yes, despite the wintry weather of late, it is still fall!), artistic director and dance program leader Stacy Pottinger has created “Resonate”—a production that features rich and thoughtful dance pieces in a variety of styles. In this investigation of technique and emotion, students express deeply complex themes utilizing skill sets they have honed within their exploration of various techniques within the Carthage curriculum.

The production showcases work by some of the school’s most talented and experienced dancers and is built on the dedication and passion of both dancers and choreographers. December 7-9 in Wartburg Auditorium (on the north end of the Carthage College campus, in the David A. Straz Jr. Center for the Natural and Social Sciences, east of Campus Drive). Tickets (required for entry) are available by visiting carthage.edu/tickets.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

D E C E M B E R 6 , 2 0 1 8 | 29

ANDY WALSH

A&E::INREVIEW

In Tandem’s Funny ‘Chris-Mess’ Variety Show

M ‘Celsius 232’

THEATRE

‘Celsius 232’ is Chilled Dystopian Theatre

C

erry Chris-Mess is the new holiday offering by In Tandem Theatre for those who choose to celebrate the Yuletide season with irreverent pokes and jabs at Santa Claus, Mrs. Claus and plenty of bawdy humor with a twist of Milwaukee South Side “charm.”

For those who’ve seen the hilarious Scrooge in Rouge and the too-funny A Cudahy Caroler Christmas, playwright Anthony Wood (with additional material by Lee Becker and Sean McKenna) is back with a ’50s retro variety show of sketches, short films, mashed up holiday tunes and a parody of the Christmas classic, It’s A Wonderful Life.

There’s something for everyone in this production. So, if hearing Santa croon about his lustful voyeurism in “Up on Your Roof” isn’t your cup of spiked eggnog, just wait. There are some very funny bits that stand out, thanks in large part to the talented eight-member ensemble led by In Tandem Artistic Director Chris Flieller.

Flieller immediately gets us in the holiday mood by bringing back his South Side blue collar character Stasch Zielinski to introduce the sketches, some of which elicit lots of well-de-

served laughs. Sean Duncan and Zach Thomas Woods are the perfect odd couple as castaways on an island celebrating Christmas with very funny results. Ditto for Duncan as a Philip Marlowe-type detective playing a, yes, Golden Retriever in “It’s a Dogs Life.” On the hunt for a missing tennis ball, the ’50s noir-ish angle works well with the assortment of four-legged portrayals, especially with Flieller as an uppity society hound. (Director Jane Flieller makes this sketch worth the price of admission alone).

The short sketch “Secret Santa Man” starts off Act II with a “Big Bang,” as Flieller plays a blondhaired crooner parodying the Johnny Rivers tune “Secret Agent Man” while Santa “dispatches” bad kids—permanently. The parody “It’s a Life” makes up the rest of Act II, and here we see the ensemble get a chance to play a variety of It’s A Wonderful Life’s beloved characters. Woods’ very funny Jimmy Stewart impersonation keeps the parody focused and engaging, especially with the surprise ending (nope, no spoilers here). So, if naughty Santas and belligerent elves are what you’re looking for, this “Chris-Mess” is for you.

Through Jan. 6, 2019 at the Tenth Street Theater, 628 N. 10th St. For tickets, visit intandemtheatre.org.

The Rep’s ‘Christmas Carol’ Continues to Charm

seamlessly stepped into the role of miser-turnedphilanthropist Ebenezer Scrooge, employing the perfect blend of misanthropy, regret, and a good amount of humor. Jesse Bhamrah played Scrooge’s nephew, Fred, with exuberance and generosity, while Reese Madigan was well-cast as the humble, kind-hearted Bob Cratchit.

Other colorful performances included those of Mark Corkins as the Ghost of Jacob Marley and the unscrupulous pawn shop owner Old Joe; Todd Denning (who adopted a Scottish brogue as the Ghost of Christmas Present); and the hilarious Angela Iannone, who took on numerous roles (Mrs. Fezziwig, assistant to Dickens, charitable worker and Mrs. Dilber, Scrooge’s housekeeper). The large cast included a talented youth ensemble.

Dickens’ 1843 novella, which has inspired adaptations almost too numerous to count, contains many supernatural elements, greatly enhanced by the Rep’s production. The haggard, spectral figure of Jacob Marley, wrapped in chains and surrounded by a cloud of fog, the Darth Vader-like Ghost of Christmas Future’s glowing red eyes; and the unearthly creatures of Want and Ignorance provided especially eerie touches. Rotating sets made to look like 19th century shops and homes and “snow” falling from the ceiling into the audience helped recreate Victorian era London during Christmas time.

Through Dec. 24 at the Pabst Theater, 144 E. Wells St. For tickets visit milwaukeerep.com or call 414-224-9490

::BY RUSS BICKERSTAFF

ooperative Performance and Quasimondo collaborate on a chilling evening of physical theater with Celsius 232. The breezy adaptation of Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451 steadily marches through all of the major events in the classic dystopian novel in 75 minutes without intermission. Ben Yela is compellingly tormented as guy Montag, a fireman whose job it is to burn books. He seems perfectly happy with his life until a chance encounter with a whimsical girl named Clarisse causes him to question everything. Yela’s subtle rendering of a man losing faith in the government plays captivating contrast to a gracefully playful, irrepressibly irresistible Jessi Miller as Clarisse.

Her sudden disappearance in a bewildering flurry of activity early on in the narrative amplifies the show’s darkness.

Montag and his fellow firemen are envisioned as Fireclowns, complete with big coats and classic fireman helmets. The seven-performer squad moves about in elegantly clumsy movements. The tragic physical humor of the clown corps is led into intellectual shadows by a sinister Kirk Thomsen as Captain Beatty. Thomsen is positively intimidating in the role as he strides about in total confidence in and amidst the folly of the clown corps. The mix of drama and dance are punctuated by passionate poetry performed by Kavon Cortez-Jones. Jones’ spoken words draw Bradbury’s 1953 classic against contemporary cultural imagery in a way that makes it all feel quite real in an age of an increasingly digital information-based culture.

Co-directors Brian Rott and Don Russell have found the right balance of elements to fill the cold space of an old, converted fire station with a psychological chill which reaches well beyond the performance onstage.

Through Dec. 15 at North Milwaukee Arthaus, 5151 N. 35th St. For tickets, visit cooperativeperformance.org.

For more thoughts on Cooperative Performance and Quasimondo Physical Theatre’s Celsius 232, visit shepherdexpress.com. n

30 | D E C E M B E R 6 , 2 0 1 8

::BY HARRY CHERKINIAN

::BY CATHERINE JOZWIK

N

ow in its 43rd year, the Milwaukee Rep’s production of Charles Dickens’ holiday classic, A Christmas Carol, continues to charm and excite audiences of all ages. Directed this year by Leda Hoffmann, the production (originally adapted and directed by Mark Clements) features spectacular acting, authentic-looking sets and costumes, top-notch special effects and plenty of singing and dancing to traditional holiday carols.

During Friday night’s performance at the Pabst Theater, cast members performed their roles with convincing English accents (a credit to dialect coach Jayne Pink). Jonathan Wainwright

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

A&E::VISUALART

SPONSORED BY

OPENINGS: “Unlike My Image” and “Who Built the Burning House?”

Dec. 7-Feb. 3 Portrait Society Gallery 207 E. Buffalo St. Suite 526

Contemporary painter Steve Burnham turned to the genre of portraiture several years ago. His new body of work, titled “Unlike My Image,” bumps into art history while carrying contemporary references, and is largely about uncertainty, contingency and the artistic process involved in portraiture and abstraction. LaNia Sproles, a 2017 MIAD graduate known for her cut-paper pieces, has created a new series of drawings for this show. The female figures in her mixed-media works seek refuge in dreamlands strewn with flora, fauna and burning angels. For more information on both exhibitions, call 414-870-9930, email portraitsocietygallery@gmail.com or visit portraitsocietygallery.com.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER: THE MUSICAL Book and Lyrics by Jahnna Beecham Music and Lyrics by Malcolm Hillgartner Based on the Play by Barbara Robinson Presented by special arrangement with Broadway Licensing (www.broadwaylicensing.com)

TICKETS START AT $15!

Nov. 23 – Dec. 26, 2018 Suggested for families with young people ages 4 – 14+ F I R S T S T A G E . O R G / P A G E A N T

Sponsored by

DEC 7 - 16

“Diego Y Frida: A Smile Halfway Through the Journey” Dec. 7-Feb. 2019 Latino Arts Gallery 1028 S. Ninth St.

This exhibition features a collection of photographs from the Mexican Consulate of Milwaukee that take an intimate look at the life and relationship between legendary artists Frida Kahlo (1907-1954) and Diego Rivera (1886-1957) as seen through the lens of some of the most notable photographers of their time, including Manuel Álvarez Bravo, Guillermo Kahlo, Leo Matiz, Nickolas Muray, Edward Weston and Guillermo Zamora. A selection of works from local artists, inspired by Kahlo and Rivera, will complement these historical photographs, thereby bringing the modern-day influences of artistic legends to life. For more information, call 414-384-3100, email info@ latinoartsinc.org or visit latinoartsinc.org.

“Clement Meadmore: The Models” Dec. 9-March 31, 2019 Lynden Sculpture Garden 2145 W. Brown Deer Road

Clement Meadmore (1929-2005) is represented in Lynden’s permanent outdoor collection by two of his most exuberant and monumental works: Upstart (1967) and Double Up (1970). “Clement Meadmore: The Models” continues the sculpture garden’s exploration of the work and creative processes of artists in its collection—many of whom were likewise making smaller sculpture, furniture and paper works. In this exhibition (which was organized through collaboration with Meadmore Sculptures), eight models are displayed, some of them used to this day to fabricate Meadmore’s large-scale works. For more information, call 414-446-8794 or visit lyndensculpturegarden.org.

THE MUSICAL

262.633.4218 2519 Northwestern Ave. RACINE, WI 53404

Music by Alan Menken Lyrics by Lynn Ahrens Book by Mike Ockrent & Lynn Ahrens Based on the story by Charles Dickens

For more information: RACINETHEATRE.ORG Box Office Hours: M - F 12:00 - 6:00 p.m.

90 min. prior to curtain through intermission.

ighlight your — — h

Holiday Happenings

SHOP LOCAL

in the Shepherd Express’ Gift Pages!

Get shoppers through your doors by advertising your holiday specials and gift ideas If you’re interested in advertising in the Gift Pages, please contact your Account Executive or contact Jackie at 414.292.3814 or jackie@shepex.com.

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D E C E M B E R 6 , 2 0 1 8 | 31

A&E::FILM

Viola Davis Takes Charge in ‘Widows’

the man whose $2 million Harry’s gang stole, discovers her late husband’s elaborately laid plans for his next heist. She recruits the skeptical but hard-up Alice and Linda; Linda enlists her babysitter-hairdresser, Belle (Cynthia Erivo), a savvy and athletic woman who will scout the target and drive the getaway van.

Unlike this summer’s idiotic Peppermint, this is a women’s revenge-crime fantasy that seldom ::BY DAVID LUHRSSEN exceeds the bounds of plausibility. Veronica’s ad arry (Liam Neeson) and Ve- hoc gang is ethnically integrated—two African ronica (Viola Davis) are mak- Americans, a Latina and a Pole. But class diviing love. Cut to a heist led by sion is apparent. Veronica, a professional with Harry as it explodes into gunfire. money and a penthouse, condescends to her The soft hum of endearment lower-class helpers and doesn’t entirely underveers into the sharp crack of bullets on metal stand them. “Our lives are trickier than yours,” Linda tells her. and shattered glass. Widows’ The robbery caper aspect of opening scene jumps between Widows—in Veronica’s careful domesticity and violence, cutWidows planning and its inevitably inting between Harry and VeronViola Davis exact execution—takes second ica, between Linda (Michelle place behind a character study Michelle Rodriguez Rodriguez) and her husband (a of its four female protagonists member of Harry’s gang), and Directed by (their back stories largely left Alice (Elizabeth Debicki) and Steve McQueen to the imagination) and its sether gang husband. DomesticNot Rated ting deep in the muck of Chiity and death can be counted as cago politics. Turns out Harry Widows’ twin motif. The heist is linked with Jack Mulligan is a disaster. With their delin(Colin Farrell), the reluctant heir to a political quent men buried, the women must carry on.

Writer-director Steve McQueen’s Widows is dynasty headed by his fulminating father (Roba crime thriller that turns some of the thriller ex- ert Duvall). The Mulligans have dominated the pectations on its head. After the story’s bloody 18th Ward for generations but are challenged in onset, Veronica, given one month to pay back the upcoming election by Jamal Manning (Brian Tyree Henry), an orator who speaks in the ec-

H

[ FILM CLIPS ] Anna and the Apocalypse R This low-budget musical horror film debuted at the 2017 Fantastic Fest film festival in Austin, Texas. Set during the holidays, the film waited a year to obtain a December release. High school student Anna (Ella Hunt) is ordinary and bogged down in teen drama when her town becomes infected by a zombie plague. The film’s gaudy yuletide décor adds a humorous layer, while its songs (frequently sung over bloody carnage) cover topics like adolescent disappointment. Utilizing small ensembles for its musical numbers, Anna offers a selection of humble charms that invite viewers to rethink both the zombie and musical genres. (Lisa Miller)

Mary Queen of Scots R The latest film to illustrate the life of Mary Stuart, Queen of Scots, shows her to be an ambitious 16th-century royal. Queen of France at 16, Mary (Saoirse Ronan) is first cousin to Queen Elizabeth (Margot Robbie), her lineage suggesting a potential claim to Britain’s throne. King Henry VIII’s daughter, Elizabeth, a Protestant, refuses to marry, because she doesn’t want a man beside herself on the throne. Mary enjoys Roman Catholic support, causing Elizabeth to feel increasingly threatened, especially since Mary insists she is the rightful queen of both Scotland and France. Conspiracies and fear within each court imperil both thrones. The film is adapted from John Guy’s Queen of Scots: The True Life of Mary Stuart, which won the 2004 Whitbread Prize for biography. (L.M.)

Robin Hood PG-13 Leonardo DiCaprio produced this version of Robin Hood, which is grittier, edgier and more violent than previous iterations. The film emphasizes combat sequences and should draw in a younger crowd eager to see Robin wielding various weapons, including pyrotechnics. Taron Egerton appears in the title role—a war-hardened crusader teaming up with Moorish commander Little John (Jamie Foxx beneath a tribal-inspired scarification pattern). Together, they organize a revolt against the corrupt English crown. Reportedly, 100 actresses auditioned for Maid Marian, the role eventually going to 27-year-old Eve Hewson (daughter of U2’s Bono). (L.M.) 32 | D E C E M B E R 6 , 2 0 1 8

‘Widows’

static tongues of the black church. They are all bad men, their souls corroded by greed, albeit the sometimes irresolute Jack needs prodding from his hateful father, while Jamal is his own man with a presence of quiet menace.

The blood will always be on other hands. In a particularly memorable scene, Jamal’s sadistic henchman, Jatemme (Daniel Kaluuya), orders the two teenage gangstas who lost Manning’s money in Harry’s heist to perform an impromptu rap. As they begin to toss rhymes, Jatemme calmly shoots one in the head and as the other

runs for the door, shoots him in the back.

At moments, McQueen winks at the crime thriller genre. Cars explode but not in slo-mo.

There is a short car chase but it’s a straight-up ram-job under a dark Chicago underpass, not the computer generated carnage of brain-dead Hollywood. Widows also makes ironic comments on American gun culture, the politics of some African American faith leaders and the entitlement of elites who refuse to let go the levers of power. The opening scene of Widows thrusts the audience headfirst into the plot and the violent, desperate story seldom slackens.

[ HOME MOVIES / NOW STREAMING ] n Amy Winehouse: Back to Black

Amy Winehouse had the hairdo of a circa 1963 pop girl down pat. On what became her final album, Back to Black (2006), she suffused her songs with the sound and attitude of the early ’60s. The documentary Back to Black goes deep, interviewing producers, musicians, friends and her manager and unearthing a wealth of making-of footage. For Back to Black’s account of a relationship gone wrong, Winehouse conjured the apocalyptic heartbreak of The Shangri-Las.

n Nothing Sacred

Written by Ben Hecht (The Front Page), Nothing Sacred wraps an unsparing satire of sensationalistic journalism, small-town parochialism and big-city credulity with a light touch. Carole Lombard stars as a woman thrust into celebrity and Fredric March as a cynical reporter. The pace is a bit measured for the screwball comedy genre, however, the visual gags are wickedly subtle.

Director William Wellman shot Nothing Sacred in the nascent medium of Technicolor and New York City shined.

n “Mamie Van Doren Film Noir Collection”

Once described as a “poor man’s Marilyn Monroe,” Mamie Van Doren was featured in the trio of late 1950s B-crime pictures packaged here. The most interesting, The Girl in the Black Stockings (1957), is a serial psycho-killer mystery set at a Utah resort. The murderer is one of the guests or staff, and the laconic sheriff has plenty of suspects. Sexual tension rises. The acting is mixed but the cinematography and editing are well done.

n “The Power of Myth: 30th Anniversary Edition”

When PBS’ Bill Moyers sat down with Joseph Campbell in 1988, the interviews occured at Skywalker Ranch. Why? Because without Campbell, George Lucas said, there would be no Star Wars. In “The Power of Myth,” Campbell explicates the archetypal story underlying most stories whether in religion, literature, film, comic books or video games. That archetype is the hero’s quest—that push over the horizon or into the labyrinth where we venture outside to find what’s within.

—David Luhrssen SHEPHERD EXPRESS

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D E C E M B E R 6 , 2 0 1 8 | 33

A&E::BOOKS

BOOK|REVIEW

BOOK|PREVIEW

Hitler’s Collaborators (OXFORD UNIVERSITY PRESS),

BY PHILIP MORGAN What would you do if your country was defeated and occupied in war, only to be liberated four years later? Philip Morgan’s answer is that you’d probably exaggerate your role in resisting the occupiers and be exonerated by a society eager to get on with it. Hitler’s Collaborators is a sophisticated analysis of wartime politics and postwar court records in Nazi-occupied Western Europe. Each country had its peculiarities, but overall, the Nazis found few ideological comrades among the conquered nations and distrusted the local Nazis in any event. However, they had no problem finding profitseekers in business or in establishing working relations with civil servants determined to deliver the mail, process pensions and carry on the normal functions of government. The responses of occupied people often shifted according to the fortunes of war. There were few “heroes,” at least not until German defeat was imminent. The reader is thrust into uncomfortable shoes by Hitler’s Collaborators. What would you do under a similar situation? Think about it carefully before answering. (David Luhrssen)

Queen: Album by Album (VOYAGEUR PRESS),

BY MARTIN POPOFF Bohemian Rhapsody was one of 2018’s most enjoyable movies—and yes, it’s wrong about a great many things.

Setting the record straight, Martin Popoff’s latest book is a fan’s gush over the melodic, power-chorded metal of one of the 1970s and '80s most distinctive bands. It was a flamboyant era, but frontman Freddie Mercury stood out amidst the Bowies and the Jaggers. Popoff both loves and knows the material and, as with several of his previous books, Queen: Album by Album chronicles a recording career through an ongoing conversation between the author and a cast of interesting characters, including rock critics, producers and musicians. Who knew Queen had fans as diverse as Paul McCartney and Dee Snider? (David Luhrssen) 34 | D E C E M B E R 6 , 2 0 1 8

Wisconsin Veterans Tell Their Stories ::BY DAVID LUHRSSEN

M

ark Concannon wasn’t thinking about a book when he sat down in 2012 and began interviewing veterans. A longtime broadcast journalist familiar to Milwaukee television audiences, Concannon was tapped as the interviewer for the War Memorial Center’s Veterans Story Project, an effort to preserve the stories of Milwaukee area vets as a video archive.

The project led to a set of three documentaries, “Mettle & Honor,” for Milwaukee PBS. Culling from all 59 interviews, Concannon edited his conversations with veterans into a book, Mettle & Honor: Wisconsin Stories from the Battlefield.

“The World War II guys came first,” Concannon says, explaining that he worked his way forward through Korea, Vietnam and the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Each war had its own set of emotions. “The World War II folks were incredibly humble. They didn’t think being at Iwo Jima was any big deal—and of course it was!” he says.

“The Korean War veterans also had a sense of duty but felt they were forgotten. Many of the Vietnam veterans felt vilified when they came back. Some of the Afghanistan and Iraq vets were kids when 9/11 happened. They felt they had to be there.”

Concannon found the legacy of wartime trauma in some interviews. A Vietnam veteran recalled putting a Vietnamese kid in his gunsights during an incident on the perimeter of his base— and stopping himself before pulling the trigger. The fact of coming so close to killing the boy “left him so traumatized, he never felt able to become a parent.”

Many of the stories collected in Mettle & Honor tell of unassuming courage and endurance. One was related by a Milwaukeean who became a POW during World War II. He was down to 70 pounds when liberated. “He didn’t make anything of it,” Concannon says. “He felt that serving was just something he had to do.

Mark Concannon will discuss Mettle & Honor: Wisconsin Stories from the Battlefield at 7 p.m. on Friday, Dec. 7, at Boswell Book Co., 2559 N. Downer Ave.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::HEARMEOUT ASK RUTHIE | UPCOMING EVENTS | PAUL MASTERSON

::ASKRUTHIE

SPONSORED BY

Who Da Hoe, Hoe, Hoe? Dear Ruthie, You know that song “Blue Christmas?”

That’s what I’m having this year because I’m not speaking to my 4 besties. On Thanksgiving weekend, they had a fucking intervention, telling me I’m a hoe, and that I need to stop being such a slut, hooking up with so many random guys. They said they were telling me this only because they loved me and that they cared about me. They refuse to talk to me or hang out until I prove that I can stop sleeping around.

I say that it’s my private life and I can do what I want, and it really doesn’t concern them. Do I sleep around? Yes, I do. I love sex, and I’m not changing my ways anytime soon.

I’m on PrEP, so it’s all cool. What can I say to them to fix things and get our friendship back on track?

Damn, Horny Guy Dear Holiday Horn Ball, Thanks for the email. What? No dick pics?

Clearly, you’re not the slut your friends claim you are. Listen, honey, I’m not here to judge, but your friends clearly care about you; they’re just looking out for you.

Think about what their concerns were and take an honest look at your sex life. Next, make the first move and contact them. Thank them for their caring and let them know you appreciate their concerns. Explain that you’ve given their words some serious thought, and that you’ve done some soul searching. You’re not sure what the future holds for you but remind them that everyone is a work in progress.

Assuming you begin to rebuild your friendships, remember to keep your private life private. No need to share any of your sex-capades with you friends. Keep your encounters to yourself, as hearing about them clearly bothers your buddies. I’m not saying you need to lie to them, but there is really no reason to kiss and tell. Control yourself around your buds when it comes to picking up playmates or discussing your affairs.

If, in the end, your friends can’t meet you in the middle, then you might want to find some nonjudgmental amigos who can completely accept you for the person you are.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::RUTHIE’SSOCIALCALENDAR

Jesus DIDN’T REJECT PEOPLE. NEITHER DO WE.

Dec. 6—Milwaukee Coffee Connection at Wisconsin Humane Society (4500 W. Wisconsin Ave.): The Wisconsin LGBT Chamber of Commerce combines coffee and canines with this 8-9 a.m. social hour. The eye-opening coffee clutch gives you the chance to meet chamber members, network with local business owners and enjoy a hot cup of Joe. Dec. 6—Trans Employees: Creating and Maintaining Respectful Workplaces at Hyatt Regency (333 W. Kilbourn Ave.): This insightful workshop focuses on supporting transgender, non-binary and gender-expansive employees in the workplace.

The 9 a.m. course costs up to $100 and is designed for all Human Resources staff members, managers and executives at all levels, labor and employment attorneys, and anyone interested in making sure Wisconsin workplaces are inclusive of transgender employees. Register at forge-forward.org.

Dec. 7—A Christmas Carol: Raw at Westallion Brewing Company (1825 S. 72nd St.): Enjoy the Dickens classic like never before with this crazy adaptation; actors choose their roles from a hat, minutes before the show begins. It’s a 7 p.m. performance you won’t forget, because not only is it hilarious, but it takes place in a brewery—and there is no ticket charge! Yes, yes, you’re on your own for beverages, but who can turn down a free holiday show this time of year? “God bless us, everyone!”

Plymouth Church 2717 E. Hampshire St. Milwaukee, WI 53211 (414) 964-1513 www.plymouth-church.org Service Sundays 9:30

Dec. 8—Intersectionality, Misogynoir & The White Gaze Workshop at Milwaukee Public Library (2320 N. Cramer St.): The team at SURJ MKE Events hosts this workshop that aims to deepen understandings of racial dynamics and oppression. Explore today’s terminology, power structures, privilege and oppression in our communities in order to approach change in a new light. The two-hour workshop is open to the public and begins at 10:30 a.m.

Dec. 8—Festivus for the Rest of Us at Brady Street: Neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow stops the party team on Brady Street! They’re ushering in the holiday season with this third annual run and bar hop. Register for the one-mile run or simply show up and hit the watering holes along Brady Street during this 3 p.m. festival. See the “Festivus” section of bradystreet.org for registration and more.

Dec. 9—Eat, Drink and Be Merry Party at Harbor Room (117 E. Greenfield Ave.): Join the boys of Harbor Room and the Argonauts of Wisconsin Leather/Levi social group as they host this yuletide bash. Shop the Leather64TEN booth, enter the Ugly Sweater Contest, enjoy a free buffet and take advantage of drink specials during the noon to 6 p.m. social.

Dec. 9—Krampusnacht Party at Kruz (354 E. National Ave.): Have you been a naughty boy? Join the other dirty boys and girls when Santa’s spooky counterpart invades this popular leather bar! The 3-7 p.m. bash includes raffles, a beer bust and more. Bring three hats, gloves or scarves to donate to the homeless, or dress as Krampus himself and you’ll get a few free raffle tickets!

Ask Ruthie a question and share your events at dearruthie@shepex.com. Follow her on Instagram @ruthiekeester and Facebook at Dear Ruthie.

D E C E M B E R 6 , 2 0 1 8 | 35

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hen First Lieutenant Beryl Newman of Baraboo, Wisconsin, encountered three German machinegun nests on a European battlefield in 1944, he stood up and, despite intense fire directed towards him, singlehandedly knocked them out, killing and capturing numerous Nazi soldiers in the process. For his conspicuous bravery, he received our nation’s highest military award, the Medal of Honor. His heroism helped defeat Fascism and Nazism and preserve that which we often take for granted: our constitutionally guaranteed freedoms.

Decades later, when nearly 60 Baraboo high school students posed for a class photo brazenly giving the stiff-armed Nazi salute, they were protected by Lt. Newman’s bravery. Citing the First Amendment, the Baraboo School Board announced the young perpetrators could not be punished. Besides, it reasoned, who knows what was “in their hearts?” At least, that’s what the board would have us believe. We actually know what was in their hearts.

As it turns out, one student, a young gay man named Jordan Blue, stood out in the crowd. He did not grin with cocky glee and raise his arm.

Instead, he stood in palpable discomfort with an obvious degree of physical distance separating him from the others. Then, as growing world indignation condemned the display, his fellow students, parents and city officials fell over themselves to deny the repugnant act as anything other than mere waving (although none recommended the photo be turned into a “Welcome to Baraboo” billboard), or “confusion” or to excuse it as “just following orders” intimidation. Others offered that ever hollow “this is not who we are” remorse.

Blue, however, was honest. A victim of anti-gay bullying since middle school, he knew what evil lurked in the hearts of his classmates and resisted. In subsequent media interviews,

he candidly exposed Baraboo’s homophobia and racism. As if to corroborate, a news outlet reported recent increased complaints of racist incidents filed by Baraboo School District students.

But thank the gods for the First Amendment. Once again, it proved to be the perfect catch-all shrugging defense for hate speech.

But when does protected hate speech become a hate crime? If we can reduce the charge of hate to accommodate protected speech—in the same manner we conveniently call white supremacist terrorists lone wolves with mental problems—we avoid responsibility. But the violent ascendancy of American Nazis is not anecdotal, it’s incremental. Whether in Charlottesville, Va., Pittsburgh, Beaver Dam or Baraboo, the imminent danger cannot be dismissed with platitudes.

To be fair, the City of Baraboo eventually responded, scheduling three town hall meetings on Inclusivity, Leadership, Restorative Justice and other introspective themes. With its recreational attractions like Devil’s Lake and Circus World that draw hundreds of thousands of tourists who pump millions of dollars into the local economy, a reputation as Wisconsin’s Nazi

BUT THANK THE GODS FOR THE FIRST AMENDMENT. ONCE AGAIN, IT PROVED TO BE THE PERFECT CATCH-ALL SHRUGGING DEFENSE FOR HATE SPEECH. BUT WHEN DOES PROTECTED HATE SPEECH BECOME A HATE CRIME? circus city could prove costly. But one would hope the city’s soul searching is genuine rather than strategic to buttress the bottom line.

Meanwhile, the second meeting, “Baraboo Talks,” took place last week. Although its announcement on social media garnered all of 13 likes, the sole comment read, “I think reconditioning the roads in our city should be a top priority. Just sayin’”

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::ILIKEITLIKETHAT

DEFINING ‘FAMILIA’ ON OUR OWN TERMS

I

::BY CARMEN MURGUIA

’m currently sitting at La Finca Coffeehouse in St. Francis, surrounded by a friendly, Latin vibe and new paintings by Milwaukee’s own Celeste Contreras gracing the walls. From the speakers in the background, Chavela Vargas—the legendary lesbian from Mexico—croons “Paloma Negra.” I feel like I’m right at home. And so, I begin to write…

When I was coming up, the meaning of family, or familia in Spanish, meant one thing: blood. Familia was comprised of your brothers and sisters, your parents, your cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, comrades and compadres and the lineage that kept you all together traced back to your homeland. According to society and my own relatives, everybody else who entered our world was an acquaintance or a friend, perhaps a neighbor, or somebody we worked with, prayed with, celebrated holidays with, or went to school with—and that’s it.

The only exception was when we became a temporary foster family home. Then, for a week to three months, I had extended family that’d include children who were taken out of bad situations and placed with us as their temporary sisters and brothers. Basically, everybody was welcome, yet everybody had their “place.” At least that’s how I saw it. Being lesbian, feeling different, growing up the middle child—this meant I was constantly wondering what my “place” was in our family. In fact, I couldn’t wait to grow up and one day create my own familia from scratch, have my own traditions, my own lady, my own kids—damn, even my own station wagon! Little did I know it would unfold flawlessly and uniquely, that I would find it both inside and outside Milwaukee, or that I’d eventually circle back to this place on Seventh and Mitchell Street, Sherman Park, and Avondale Boulevard.

Decembers were a defining moment in our Mexican American household, which included my parents and my tía (aunt). Decembers meant everybody would go pick out a real tree outdoor with papi (dad), pick up a pizza at Maria’s and decorate with holiday music playing on the stereo while mom baked Christmas cookies for us to enjoy. Decembers meant getting dressed up, pack up in the station wagon and driving through the snow to the Mexican church on Fourth and Virginia to celebrate the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe. Decembers meant all of us participating in the traditional tamale-making assembly line from Friday night until we could finally taste them on Sunday morning.

Decembers, believe it or not, would also feel lonely for me, like something was missing and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I would wait for everyone in my family to go to sleep and I would put on my Carpenter’s Christmas album, sit facing the beautiful balsam lit with big colorful old school bulbs and quietly cry, wondering about life and where I belonged. I would later learn as a teenager that Karen Carpenter was depressed and eventually took her own life, and I often wondered if that’s why I connected so deeply to her voice and music.

When I moved to Minneapolis, I discovered my very own December traditions. Decembers now meant George Winston playing on Billy and Romero’s Bose system while they cooked and we all decorated with snow falling softly outside their brownstone. Decembers meant going to see The Sounds of Blackness sing their original song, “Optimistic,” and watch my friend Dennis Spears of Moore By Four sing gospel at a holiday concert inside a church in Edina. Decembers meant taking my date for a long walk in the snow, hand in hand beneath the stars at night along Lake Calhoun where we could see our breath after each kiss and make love inside the warm Victorian I called home, just up the stairs from the beach.

When I returned to Milwaukee, I moved back to my parents for a short time until I got clean and sober. Eventually, I moved out on my own in Milwaukee, and slowly began to create familia with lovers, with friends, with people in my poetry and writing groups, my Latino community and AA circles, and especially in my LGBTQ community—whether at the gay bars or the Galano Club, Pride festivals and Lavender Hill parties. Familia for me was now defined as “everywhere I was, my family was too.” That loneliness is lifted. The “place” I spoke of earlier, that I was desperately trying to find, is within me. We can have it all. We get to have it all.

December has new meaning for me each year, and this one is no exception. Papi is gone and so is my brother David, so I visit their graves on my way to or from tía’s, who is now in her early 90s and in a nursing home. December is keeping my 89-year-old mother comfortable and happy as we watch old movies together. It is twin sisters, brothers-in-law and great nieces, my younger brother, a Manhattanite who’ll be back for Christmas, my cousin Lola and her man James who live in the house beneath mine on a tree-lined street in Sherman Park. I’ve got my silver tree all lit up, I know where to find delicious tamales, Jamin’s white elephant party, and Big Mike and Adam’s birthdays are around the corner. I know there’s a lovely lady out there just for me. And, you know what? I like it like that!

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

D E C E M B E R 6 , 2 0 1 8 | 37

::MUSIC

FEATURE | ALBUM REVIEWS | CONCERT REVIEWS | LOCAL MUSIC

The Essential Milwaukee Albums of 2018 ::BY EVAN RYTLEWSKI

n an era when playlists have become the preferred medium for many listeners, albums can feel like a relic of the pre-digital age. Despite the format’s diminished stature, though, there’s still something alluring about the selfcontained nature of an album, and the indelible satisfaction of pressing play and surrendering your ears to an artist’s vision, of listening entirely on their terms instead of your own.

Once again we’ve whittled the pile of outstanding Milwaukee albums released this year to a manageable 15. As always, the list barely scratches the surface of all the notable local music that came out this year, and quite a few favorites didn’t make the cut. That part always stings. But the following standouts were all so creative, so spirited, so immersive, that including them was an easy call. Here are 15 albums worth giving yourself over to completely.

Lex Allen – Table 7: Sinners & Saints

Few performers sound quite as comfortable in their own skin as Lex Allen. On his debut album Table 7: Sinners & Saints, the vivacious soul singer covers a lot of ground, hopscotching between pop, R&B and dance music, acquainting himself to each with chameleonesque ease. The ballads “Mama’s Boy” and “7th Hour” highlight Allen’s indelible, burnt-caramel voice, but the album really comes to life on a series of riotously fun club bangers, especially the libidinous “Bitch U Fabulous” and “Struck Gold,” a thirsty jock jam with a wicked sense of humor.

Barely Civil – We Can Live Here Forever

Given how Barely Civil set their confessional emo against the backdrop of the Dairy State, it’s probably not a coincidence that the group’s disarming debut LP is paced like a Wisconsin winter, with stretches of calm and tranquility interrupted by fits of fury. Crossing the soul-bearing tenderness of early Death Cab For Cutie with the cathartic intensity of The Hotelier, the record plays out as a conflicted song cycle about displacement and the struggle of deciding which ties to the past to preserve and which to sever. Beyond some enthusiastic reviews in zines and blogs that obsessively champion this strain of emo, We Can Live Here Forever didn’t make a huge splash when it was released in March, but it’s an album you can really lose yourself in, one that’s destined to become a cult favorite whose reputation only grows as it’s discovered in the years to come.

Buffalo Gospel – On the First Bell

Ryan Necci has a perfect country voice, a soulful bellow that can sound as pained and weathered or as rough and hungry as a song calls for. He puts every bit of that range to use on Buffalo Gospel’s sophomore album, a grief-stricken but ultimately redemptive record that processes the death of a close friend. On scorchers like “High Time to Hang Fire” and “When Lonesome Comes Calling” Necci lets his voice soar, commanding songs that tear you down before lifting you back up. Few Americana albums this year—bluegrass, alt-country or otherwise—were quite as nourishing.

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Collections of Colonies of Bees – HAWAII

Chris Rosenau’s post-rock ensemble Collections of Colonies of Bees has reinvented itself continually over the last two decades, but the group’s latest overhaul is its most drastic yet. For the band’s blissed-out tenth album, the previously instrumental outfit added vocals from guitarist Daniel Spack and invaluable new recruit Marielle Allschwang. The group’s compositions still unfurl like elaborate Rube Goldberg contraptions, but even as the guitars propel these songs ever more skyward, Spack and Allschwang’s unguarded voices make them feel like intimate conversations between close friends. Don’t let the term post-rock, with its fussy, long-winded insinuations, scare you off. HAWAII is an emotional experience.

Direct Hit – Crown of Nothing

Direct Hit’s second full-length for Fat Wreck Chords is their grandest, most sweeping record yet—not bad for a band that’s too often been pigeonholed by punk purists as pop-punk lightweights. As always, sticklers who believe the genre hit its nadir with Blink-182 will want to stay far away, but listeners with even a modest soft spot for punk’s hookier, poppier incarnations will find something to be dazzled by here, from the anthemic opener “Different Universe” to the roaring “Perfect Black,” a reminder of the powerful, no-gimmicks hardcore Direct Hit can throw down when they want to go that route.

Field Report – Summertime Songs

On Field Report’s radiant, aptly titled third album, songwriter Christopher Porterfield sings of sobriety, family and the affirming joy of feeling loved and understood. His emotions are as pronounced as ever, but this time out the music is relentlessly uplifting, as his bandmates accompany him with a warm tapestry of comforting sounds. Though its electronic accents are decidedly contemporary, the record is spiritual throwback to the crowd-pleasing, crossover heartland rock albums of the 1980s, which never let glossy production stand in the way of down-to-earth storytelling.

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For more MUSIC, log onto shepherdexpress.com

Greatest Lakes – Divisions

After a harmony-drenched but hushed 2014 debut album, the Milwaukee indie quintet Greatest Lakes let themselves sing out a bit on their vibrantly loud follow-up. Despite the prevailing summer vibe, Divisions isn’t all easy sailing. Several songs touch on the difficulty of sustaining personal relationships in an era of political polarization, yet even when the band delves into touchy territory the music is absolutely euphoric, a bright, modern reimagining of The Beach Boys’ psychedelic folk.

12/6 No 414 Live Radio Milwaukee Music Awards

Amanda Huff – Hemiptera

Amanda Huff has one of those voices that imbues every syllable with importance. At times she doesn’t seem so much to be singing as delivering oracles, imparting urgent transmissions from some nebulous realm just beyond the reach of anybody else. Although Huff cut her teeth performing on local stages with a variety of jazz-adjacent projects, her solo debut Hemiptera casts her in a far different setting, against an accompaniment of dusky electronica courtesy of producer Strehlow, who frames her otherworldly voice in continually fascinating ways. An air of mysticism hangs over the whole thing. Even when Huff conjures childhood memories of summer on “Cicada,” they sound as if they’re being recalled through a séance.

Kaylee Crossfire and Kia Rap Princess – Best of Both Worlds

Kaylee Crossfire and Kia Rap Princess are leaders of Milwaukee’s Female Takeover movement, which encourages women to support each other in hip-hop, a genre that’s historically been a boy’s club. On Best of Both Worlds, the two lead by example. They make an unlikely pair. Kia’s flow is methodical and precise, while Kaylee raps in loud, showy gusts. One’s a switch blade and the other’s a machete, but their dueling temperaments flatter each other, and together they make some seriously fierce, clubrattling rap.

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Looney Babie and Gwapo Chapo – Splash Bros 2

Milwaukee’s North Side rap scene has never buzzed louder than it is right now. The city is suddenly crowded with rising stars doing monster numbers online, including quite a few with streams in the millions. Despite the competition, though, none managed a better full-length this year than Looney Babie and Gwapo Chapo, two dependable entertainers who saved some of their best work for this kinetic joint project. The beats slap, the energy is unrelenting, and the rhymes are often as devilishly funny as they are hard, especially Gwapo Chapo’s. A cutup with the wily charisma to match his outsized ego, his hectoring flow plays off of Looney’s impassioned rasp beautifully.

Lorde Fredd33 – NORF: The Legend of Hotboy Ronald

Lorde Fredd33 years ago established himself as one of the city’s most fearlessly creative rappers, but even his brilliant early projects sound like a test run for his exploratory masterpiece NORF: The Legend of Hotboy Ronald. Fredd33 raps in a dozen distinct voices, and he puts every single one of them to use on these shape-shifting tracks, which play out with the animated, beat-flipping restlessness of the classic records from hip-hop’s golden-age. Like those works, NORF is pointed, personal, unrepentantly weird and sometimes ugly, as Fredd33 details the economic realities of life in one of the most segregated cities in the country. “50 percent unemployment/ That’s just for black men?” he raps. “No wonder we trapping/Wasn’t we born trapped, then?”

Albums continued on page 40 >

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

D E C E M B E R 6 , 2 0 1 8 | 39

MUSIC::LISTINGS

:: MUSIC::FEATURE > Albums continued from page 39

Nickel&Rose – Americana

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 6

Paper Holland – Galápagos

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 7

Including a five-song EP on a best albums list almost feels like a cheat. It probably is. But make no mistake about it, even with its brief, 18-minute runtime the songwriting duo Nickel&Rose’s Americana EP is a major work. The headline here is the title track, a brilliantly argued callout of a genre with a history of borrowing from black music without being especially hospitable to black musicians. The track isn’t just a takedown, though. It’s a reminder of how fresh folk can still sound in the right hands, and the rest of the EP plays as much like a love letter to the genre as a critique, with new songs that hold their own against the time-tested standards they honor.

Paper Holland’s sophomore full-length doesn’t sound much like the work of a Milwaukee band. It’s bright and beachy, far removed from the meteorological realities of a city where it snows a grim six months out of the year. But what an escape it is. With the help of an expanded lineup featuring keyboardist/trumpeter Glenn McCormick and saxophonist Sean Hirthe, formerly of Soul Low, the band conjures a lush, tropical fantasy filled with delightfully odd detours, including Grizzly-Bear-by-way-of-The-Cure pastiche “Million Eyes.”

Telethon – Modern Abrasive

Milwaukee power-pop enthusiasts Telethon followed up their sprawling 2017 album The Grand Spontanean, an audacious 90-minute rock opera, with this more manageable, snack-sized confection. Even on a scaled-down set, though, the band can’t contain their dweeby ambition—even their three- and four-minute quickies are riff with theatrical embellishments, be it anthemic sing-alongs, Elton John pianos or some old-fashioned cowbell. It’s all euphoric, infectious and irresistibly dorky, especially “Great America,” where the band celebrates a trip to that greatest of summertime destinations, Six Flags (“We got free admission from a case of diet cola!” they cheer).

Versio Curs – How Are You

From Morrissey to The National’s Matt Berninger, many of indie-rock’s greatest frontmen have been unabashed cranks who play their misery as a droll punchline. Versio Curs singer Kyle Halverson carries on in that tradition of proud spoilsports.

Flanked by relentlessly buzzy, sticky guitars on the band’s perfectly pitched debut How Are You, Halverson indulges his inner misanthrope, venting petty grievances and hypochondriatic fears (“I think I’m catching your cold,” he complains on the masterfully unromantic “On Sunday.”). The entire record is a triumph of cold, savvy songwriting, the work of a band that’s wise—and jaded—beyond their years.

40 | D E C E M B E R 6 , 2 0 1 8

To list your event, go to shepherdexpress.com/events and click submit an event

Anodyne Coffee , Cairns w/Marielle Allschwang & Old Earth Cactus Club, The Artisanals Caroline’s Jazz Club, Brian Dale Group w/Lynda Lee County Clare Irish Inn & Pub, Acoustic Irish Folk w/Barry Dodd Jazz Estate, Andrew Trim Trio Landmark Lanes, Beach Static EP release Mason Street Grill, Mark Thierfelder Jazz Trio (5:30pm) On the Bayou, Open Mic Comedy w/host The Original Darryl Hill Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Jim & Mike from Element 13 (8pm), In the Fire Pit: John King w/Brecken Miles (8:30pm) Rave / Eagles Club, Eli Young Band w/Ross Ellis & Bella Cain (all-ages, 8pm) Riverside Theater, A Magical Cirque Christmas Rounding Third Bar and Grill, World’s Funniest Free Comedy Show Shaker’s Cigar Bar, Prof. Pinkerton & the Magnificents Shank Hall, King’s X w/Moloko Shivers The Back Room at Colectivo, Old Salt Union & Rumpke Mountain Boys The Bay Restaurant, Wicked Long Day The Packing House Restaurant, Barbara Stephan & Peter Mac (6pm) Transfer Pizzeria Cafe, Martini Jazz Lounge: Anthony Deutsch Trio Up & Under Pub, A No Vacancy Comedy Open Mic Alley Cat Lounge (Five O’Clock Steakhouse), Christopher’s Project Ally’s Bistro (Menomonee Falls), The Kaye Berigan 4Tet American Legion Post #449 (Brookfield), Tomm Lehnigk (6:30pm) Angelo’s Piano Lounge, Julie’s Piano Karaoke Anodyne Coffee , Joyann Parker Band w/Alex Wilson Band & Bootleg Bessie BlondiePop (West Bend), 5 Card Studs Cafe Carpe (Fort Atkinson), Bill Camplin w/Greg Gilbertson Camp Dundee Bar & Grill (Campbellsport), Matt MF Tyner Caroline’s Jazz Club, VIVO w/Warren Wiegratz Cedarburg Cultural Center, First Fridays: Tangled Lines (5:30pm) Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: Lauryl Sulfate and Her Ladies Of Leisure w/Sypher Lady (8pm); DJ: Miss LaFontaine (10pm) ComedySportz Milwaukee, ComedySportz Milwaukee!

Company Brewing, Elle PF w/LUXI & Moth Light County Clare Irish Inn & Pub, Traditional Irish Ceilidh Session Crush Wine Bar (Waukesha), CP & Stoll w/Chris Peppas & Jeff Stoll Iron Mike’s (Franklin), Open Jam Session w/Steve Nitros & Friends Jazz Estate, Aaron Gardner Quartet (8pm), Late Night Session: Jon Lovas Qtet (11:30pm) Kim’s Lakeside (Pewaukee), Andrew Gelles Knights of Columbus (West Allis), Jumpin Jive Club First Friday Swing Dance w/Robert Allen Jr. Band Kochanski’s Concertina Beer Hall, The Sketchballs Lakefront Brewery, Brewhaus Polka Kings (5:30pm) Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Modern Joey w/Wonderful Bluffer Los Mariachis Mexican Restaurant, The Jammers Mamie’s, Stokes & the Old Blues Boys Mason Street Grill, Phil Seed Trio (6pm) McAuliffe’s Pub (Racine), Blank Fest 12 w/Josh Krug & Friends, Hot LZ, Rocky Rose & Nick Ramsey And The Family.

Miramar Theatre, Final First Friday: Dead Man’s Carnival w/Prof. Pinkerton & The Magnificents (7pm), Brew City Bass Presents: Freddy Todd & kLL sMTH w/Elucidate (11pm) Pam’s Fine Wines (Mukwonago), Jonny T-Bird (6:30pm) Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Michael Sean of Bellevue Suite (9pm), In the Fire Pit: John King w/Brecken Miles (9:30pm) Riverside Theater, Jason Mraz and Toca Rivera “Live In Stereo” w/Gregory Page Route 20 Outhouse (Sturtevant), Texas Hippie Coalition (ages 18-plus, 7:30pm) Shank Hall, Rich Trueman & the 22nd Street Horn Band Stone Harbor Resort, The Ricochettes The Back Room at Colectivo, Smoking Popes Present: Heartbreak for the Holidays The Bay Restaurant, Rick Aaron & The Men in Black Trio The Brass Tap, Joe Kadlec The Packing House Restaurant, Carmen Nickerson & The Carmen Sutra Trio (6:30pm) Turner Hall Ballroom, The Big Wu Up & Under Pub, Neocaveman w/Pineapple Migrain & Not The Cops

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 8

American Legion Post #449 (Brookfield), The Falcons Anodyne Coffee , The Jimmys Art*Bar, Jonny T-Bird & Big Dad Billy D’s (Waukesha), Robert Allen Jr. Band Cactus Club, King Myles album release party w/Higher Power, R. Braille, TrashMan, Shunny, Sha & Tha catalyst Cafe Carpe (Fort Atkinson), Matthew Davies w/Trapper Schoepp Caroline’s Jazz Club, The Paul Spencer Band w/James Sodke, Michael Ritter, Warren Wiegratz, Eric Jacobson & Victor Campbell Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: Iron Pizza w/John Rachael (8pm); DJ: (10pm) Club Garibaldi, Zappafest ComedySportz Milwaukee, ComedySportz Milwaukee!

Company Brewing, Snag w/Social Caterpillar, Divine Crush & Infinifonic County Clare Irish Inn & Pub, Blackthorn Folly Crush Wine Bar (Waukesha), Dave Miller Blues & Jazz Trio w/Mike Cascio & Hal Miller Cue Club of Wisconsin (Waukesha), The RUSH Tribute Project Dopp’s Bar & Grill, CCMC Open Jam w/host Bill Boquest (5pm) Five O’Clock Steakhouse, Kirk Tatnall Hilton Milwaukee City Center, Vocals & Keys

Jazz Estate, Jim Paolo Trio (8pm), Late Night Session: Ben Dameron Quartet (11:30pm) Kochanski’s Concertina Beer Hall, Wisconsin Metal For The Wounded Mason Street Grill, Jonathan Wade Trio (6pm) Matty’s Bar & Grille (New Berlin), Winter Music: Joe Richter McAuliffe’s Pub (Racine), Blank Fest Night 2 w/Guerilla Ghost, IfIHadAHiFi & Hey Muchaco Miramar Theatre, Bleep Bloop w/Noer The Boy Mo’s Irish Pub (Downtown), Andrew Gelles Moose Lodge 49, Tom Sorce Motor Bar & Restaurant, Leroy Airmaster (5:30pm) Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Bourbon House (9pm), In the Fire Pit: John King w/Myles Wangerin (9:30pm) Rave / Eagles Club, San Holo w/Chet Porter, Taska Black & BeauDamian (all-ages, 8pm), Blue October w/Longwave (all-ages, 8pm), Wheeler Walker, Jr. w/Jaime Wyatt (all-ages, 8:30pm), Los BK’s (Los Bukis) w/Grupo Mojado & Los Caminantes (all-ages, 8:30pm) Rebellion Brewing (Cedarburg), Matt MF Tyner Shank Hall, Southbound (Allman Brothers Tribute) w/The Ryann Lyn Band The Back Room at Colectivo, Bad Bad Hats The Cheel (Thiensville), Listening Party The Packing House Restaurant, Mauree! (6:30pm) Turner Hall Ballroom, Voiceplay-Warmup: A Holiday Special Unitarian Church North, Wisconsin Singer/Songwriter Series presents: Mustard’s Retreat Urban Ecology Center - Riverside Park, Family Power Music Presents: Bryon Cherry, SistaStrings, Nick Ramsey & host Anthony Makovec

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 9

Angelo’s Piano Lounge, Live Karaoke w/Julie Brandenburg Cactus Club, Milwaukee Record Halftime Show: Amanda Huff (11:30am), NOW OPEN 1 Crony Mixtape Release Show! w/NILE, Spaidez, CRONIES (Jenius, Lake, Ed, Trav, ADHD, Marty, Eli $tones, Mozaic), DJ JENIUS & DJ LSJ (9pm) Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: A Very Theremin Christmas (8pm); DJ: Sheppy (10pm) Dugout 54, Dugout 54 Sunday Open Jam Kiss Ultra Lounge, “E’ssential Soul Christmas Vol. 2” Album Listening Jam & Donation Drive Riverwest Jazz Gallery Center for the Arts, Jack and Jill Jazz w/Jack Grassel & Jill Jensen (2pm) Rounding Third Bar and Grill, The Dangerously Strong Comedy Open Mic Route 20 Outhouse (Sturtevant), KatzSass w/Duosonic (12pm) Route 20 Outhouse (Sturtevant), Deadset Society w/September Mourning, Red Tide Rising & Late Night Fights (ages 18-plus, 7:30pm) Shank Hall, Brand X The Back Room at Colectivo, Gospel Brunch (12pm) Turner Hall Ballroom, WMSE Big Band Grandstand presents: The Chicago Jazz Orchestra Big Band Cavalcade (4pm)

MONDAY, DECEMBER 10

Jazz Estate, Mark Davis Jazz Trio Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Poet’s Monday w/host Timothy Kloss & featured reader Kirk & Posy (sign-up 7:30pm, 8-11pm) Mason Street Grill, Joel Burt Duo (5:30pm) Paulie’s Pub and Eatery, Open Jam: Christopher John & Friends w/featured band Up & Under Pub, Open Mic w/Marshall McGhee and the Wanderers

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 11

Jazz Estate, Sweet Sheiks Kim’s Lakeside (Pewaukee), Robert Allen Jr. & Friends (6pm) Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Dan Rodriguez Christmas Show (6:30pm) Mamie’s, Open Blues Jam w/Stokes Mason Street Grill, Jamie Breiwick Group (5:30pm) McAuliffe’s Pub (Racine), The Jim Yorgan Sextet Miramar Theatre, Rittz w/King Lil G (all-ages, 7pm) Miramar Theatre, Tuesday Open Mic w/host Sandy Weisto (sign-up 7:30pm, all-ages) Parkside 23, Andrew Gelles (6pm) Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Al White (4pm) Riverside Theater, Michael Bolton Riverwest Jazz Gallery Center for the Arts, Jazz Jam Session Shank Hall, Samantha Fish w/Jonathan Long Transfer Pizzeria Cafe, Transfer House Band w/Dennis Fermenich Turner Hall Ballroom, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy’s Wild & Swingin’ Holiday Party

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 12

Caroline’s Jazz Club, Jimi Schutte American Blues High Dive, The Voodoohoney Pirates Hudson Business Lounge and Cafe, Jazz at Noon: Don Linke and Friends Iron Mike’s (Franklin), B Lee Nelson Acoustic Jam Jazz Estate, Jerry Grillo “Where Was Christmas?”

Kochanski’s Concertina Beer Hall, Polka Open Jam Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Acoustic Open Stage w/feature Mike & Ben Plaisted (sign-up 8:30pm, start 9pm) Mason Street Grill, Jamie Breiwick Group (5:30pm) Paulie’s Field Trip, Wednesday Night Afterparty w/Dave Wacker & guests Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Al White Riverside Theater, John Legend: A Legendary Christmas Sunset Grill Pewaukee, Robert Allen Jr. & Friends (6pm) Tally’s Tap & Eatery (Waukesha), Tomm Lehnigk The Cheel (Thiensville), Dan Lloyd (6:30pm) The Packing House Restaurant, Carmen Nickerson & Kostia Efimov (6pm) Turner Hall Ballroom, Estas Tonne SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::CONCERTREVIEW

New Vintage Frets Paid Homage to Milwaukee’s Mandolin Tradition

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::BY JAMIE LEE RAKE

t may not be as popularly touted as polka in Milwaukee’s old-timey musical history, but the city’s identification with the sounds of the mandolin orchestra goes back to the 1880s. And, to judge by the number and age range of listeners who filled Anodyne Coffee Roasting Co.’s Bruce Street location for Sunday night’s performance by local septet New Vintage Frets and some of their friends, interest in the music made by this family of instruments remains strong.

Yes, that’s a family of instruments. The cousin of the guitar has bass, cello and viola variations as well, all of them tuned in the manner of their upright, bowed namesakes.

All four mandolin types feature among New Vintage Frets’ instrumentation, alongside piano and acoustic guitar. One of the visual highlights of the night was seeing bass mandolinist Jason Spottek lift above his head the bass mandolin that well dwarfed his torso.

Spottek transfers the discipline of his other musical persona as a jazz double bassist into the Frets. Most other Frets members come to the group with other musical involvement as well. First mandolinist/band director Mikhail Litvin and classically trained guitarist Irina Yanovskaya also join forces in the duo Serenata. Likewise, mando-cellist John Nicholson and tenor mandolinist, violinist and vocalist Susan Nicholson comprise the principals of Milwaukee folk group Frogwater. Along with pianist Olga Volodarskaya and second mandolinist and recent Nicolet High School graduate Elly Bird, they seek to faithfully perform late19th and early-20th century repertoire from a time when mandolin music was a national craze that firmly took root in Milwaukee.

The city remains the home of the longeststanding mandolin orchestra in the U.S., founded in 1900. The Frets’ members number about half of those currently comprising SSHHEEP PH HE REDR DE X EP XR EPSRS E S S

the Milwaukee Mandolin Orchestra, yet they exhibited no less soulful virtuosity. Much of their program Sunday derived from the ensemble’s debut album, The Wisconsin/Vega Project—a kind of tribute to the Vega company which produced instruments that abetted mandolin music’s mass popularity about a century ago. Fittingly, some members of the group play vintage Vega pieces.

Though a few of the implements plied to make New Vintage Frets’ sweet music are the genuine articles, at least a couple of substitutes were made for the concert. Master mandolinist and “dawg music” innovator David Grisman contributed a solo to the rendition of E.M. Hall’s ”Blue Ribbon March” that leads off Project, but Bird handily matched it. The first of Susan Nicholson’s two vocal turns was her take on Carrie Jacob Bonds’ 1918 hit, “The End of a Perfect Day.” Nicholson preceded the song with the story of its origin and also spoke of other numbers and their composers throughout the course of the group’s two brisk sets.

That included an introduction to the second set’s opener, a medley of mostly downcast pieces that included her second vocal, “The Blind Fiddler.” This duet between her and John Nicholson preceded a few numbers where the Frets were assisted by several other musicians, including flautist Brad Lipshutz and singing percussionist Rick Kieffer, whose slightly maniacal whimsy could have been a fine fit for Spike Jones’ City Slickers in an earlier era.

Acts such as New Vintage Frets may not be making music for the enormity of consumption their predecessors did, nor are they here necessarily to contribute new material to the style they inhabit, but it’s reassuring to know their musical tradition is lovingly kept alive and curated for audiences like the one that packed a coffee house on a Sunday night.

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::ONTHECOUCH

a Bear and Beat the Winter Blues

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hate winter! Is it just me, or is it starting early this year? I’ve struggled with winter depression for years and have tried all sorts of things to stave it off, but it persists. Any tips for things to do differently this year to not lose my mind?

The Shrink Replies,

There’s a reason the experts call the phenomenon of the winter doldrums SAD. That’s an acronym for Seasonal Affective Disorder, but it aptly describes how its sufferers feel: sad and lethargic, irritable, tired, anti-social, mopey; name your particular symptom cluster. Some constitutions just don’t feel right in extreme temperatures on either end of the thermometer. That said, this is where we live, so, unless you’re a winter lover (and they do exist), at some point you have to find some strategies to make these months bearable. Here are some tweaks to make in your winter coping toolbox: Wear long underwear. Every day… all the time. And, for future reference, start wearing it way earlier in the season than you think you need to (like three weeks ago). While you’re at it, make sure you have a good, warm coat or jacket—a hood can be a game-changer. Boots?

Gloves? Consider warmth versus fashion. When everyone’s teeth are chattering, they’re not doing a judgy fashion assessment on you. Stock up on cold weather gear now or at the end of the season when everything is on sale. It will be this cold again next winter, guaranteed. (You may scoff at this simplistic advice but, believe it or not, these things are not obvious to everyone!)

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When the sun’s out, put yourself in its path. Sit near a sunny window in your home, take a drive in your car (it needs to warm up too).

Even if it’s frigid, go for a tiny walk on a sunny day. Once around the block won’t kill you. And while you’re out there, do an inner-warmth-inducing good deed for your neighbor; shovel their sidewalk, brush the snow off their car, scrape the ice from their windows. Just swaddle yourself in layers and move around a bit. You’ll feel a heck of a lot warmer when you come back inside.

Speaking of the sun, how’s your Vitamin D level? If you don’t know, have your doctor do a blood test or order your own online lab tests and get it checked. While I’m not a doctor, it’s commonly believed that most people who live in this sun-deprived part of the country have Vitamin D levels that are way too low. Vitamin D supplements are inexpensive, and they can bring your levels up to where they belong. Over time, you might notice that you get less down in winter, plus it’s a great helper for your immune system to fight off cold and flu bugs.

Think like a bear. Bears have the right idea—they crawl in a cave for the winter and come out when it’s warm again. Instead of feeling guilty about confining yourself and withdrawing from the rest of humanity, give yourself permission to shut down for a day or two when the doldrums become too much for you. Take some naps; hibernate for a while. Winter is quieter than other seasons. It’s nature’s way of giving us a break to, literally, go inside and restore ourselves. Think hot baths, a warm place to sit, a stack of magazines or that list of movies you keep forgetting to watch, the journal that’s been gathering dust on your bookshelf waiting to be written in; these solitary pursuits are good for the mind, body and soul. And winter is a less busy time for us to prioritize them.

Fly away. Literally, get outta Dodge. If you have the vacation time and the means to afford a cheap plane ticket, plunk a winter getaway to a warmer climate on the calendar somewhere in the neighborhood of mid-February. By that point, we all need to just be outside in lightweight clothing to shake the chill off. If you’re afraid to fly, take a “fear of flying” class at your local airport (the one at Milwaukee Mitchell is a great one). I know folks who have tackled their fear and are now able to plan winter getaways, giving them a whole new take on their SAD. The good news is that, as in all things in life, this too shall pass. We’re only a few weeks away from the Winter Solstice, after which the daylight begins to return a few seconds earlier every day.

Little by little it’ll stay light a little longer and the wind chills will be less paralyzing. Eventually—though not soon enough for many of us— the time will come when the world will begin to wake up again, and things will get busier and noisier. So, while you’re able, change your mind about this dismal winter sojourn and try to enjoy some of these cave-bound days. Dress warm, eat soup, give and receive hugs. It’s the circle of life.

On the Couch is written by a licensed mental health professional. Her advice is not meant as a substitute for mental health care.

Send your questions to onthecouch@ shepex.com.

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D E C E M B E R 6 , 2 0 1 8 | 43

SOUNDZ LIKE IT

THEME CROSSWORD

By James Barrick

PSYCHO SUDOKU! “Kaidoku”

Each of the 26 letters of the alphabet is represented in this grid by a number between 1 and 26. Using letter frequency, word-pattern recognition, and the numbers as your guides, fill in the grid with well-known English words (HINT: since a Q is always followed by a U, try hunting down the Q first). Only lowercase, unhyphenated words are allowed in kaidoku, so you won’t see anything like STOCKHOLM or LONG-LOST in here (but you might see AFGHAN, since it has an uncapitalized meaning, too). Now stop wasting my precious time and SOLVE! psychosudoku@gmail.com 25 5 20 11

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10. Variety of wheat 15. Decorate 19. Tropical bird 20. Fiber plant 21. Outcry 22. Was borne on 23. Written testimony 25. Like a cheap razor 27. A cosmetic 28. Notched 30. Map showing greater detail 31. Insects 32. Coquette 33. Tins 35. Bony plates 38. Surpasses 39. Broadly humorous 43. Sheets of stamps 44. Confusion 46. Enameled metalware 47. A pronoun 48. Sonnets 49. Toward shelter 50. Extinct flightless bird 51. Exploit 52. Clement Clarke — 53. Notorious king 55. Lip-syncs 57. Wonderland event: 2 wds.

59. Considering 60. Expel 61. Torrid and Temperate 62. Snatches 63. Intense attack 64. Makes a point 66. Field event 67. Dolmen 70. Certain relatives 71. Very 72. Fills 73. Rogers or Orbison

74. — Lanka 75. — mater 76. Layers 77. “Auntie —” 78. Belt out a tune 80. Tuba variety 83. Italic language 84. Pads for exercising: 2 wds.

86. Pixilated 87. Old Roman statesman 88. Monocle 89. Shoes in boxes 90. Penny 91. Jewish month 94. Place for a boutonniere 95. Important 99. Aficionado 102. Hesitant 104. Subject of study 105. Originate 106. Recipe direction 107. Pastures 108. The Atlantic, humorously 109. Walked 110. Put a spell on 111. Snakes DOWN 1. Ocean movement with 91-Down 2. Get in line 3. Conduit 4. Sets apart 5. Crime-scene evidence 6. Detests 7. Arab ruler: Var. 8. “Flying Down to —” 9. Husband of Helen 10. Back 11. Dampish 12. — -en-scene 13. Psychic’s gift: Abbr.

14. — Speedwagon 15. Conveyance

16. Overcharges 17. Without basis 18. Convene 24. Self-published mags 26. Spelter 29. Classy joint 32. — fatale 33. Beaten 34. Commedia dell’— 35. Gush 36. Result in 37. Irrational 38. Like an alehouse 39. Lawbreaker 40. Sympathize 41. Bitter drug 42. Lead for a pooch 44. Starts a PC 45. Equine animals 48. Stomata 52. Hair of horses 53. Foot traveler 54. Always 55. Mutilates 56. Part of IMF: Abbr.

58. — of entry 59. Word with blame or board 60. Dries, as ink 62. A gemstone 63. Ogre 64. Impertinent

65. Oddity worth keeping 66. Soil component 67. Loud sound 68. Quipster 69. Doglike animal 71. Attraction in Reno 72. “Muscle” 75. Strong — — ox 76. Surly 77. Senora’s scarf 79. Son of Lancelot 81. Made fit for 82. — -dieu 83. Slow, in music 85. Carte du jour 87. Confiscated 89. Like pet rocks and disco 90. Part of Greece 91. Ocean movement with 1-Down 92. Japanese case for small items 93. Kind of British gun 94. Secular 95. Substance 96. Pool sticks 97. Nipa palm 98. Arithmetic word 100. Heat in a microwave 101. Mr. Gershwin 103. — Dawn Chong

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11/29 Solution

WORD FIND This is a theme puzzle with the subject stated below. Find the listed words in the grid. (They may run in any direction but always in a straight line. Some letters are used more than once.) Ring each word as you find it and when you have completed the puzzle, there will be 27 letters left over. They spell out the alternative theme of the puzzle.

Felines Solution: 27 Letters

© 2018 Australian Word Games Dist. by Creators Syndicate Inc.

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Solution to last week’s puzzle

Active Aegean Balinese Bambino Bed Bengal Coat Dam Devon Rex Felid Feral Hiss Hunt

Intelligent Kittens Lap Manx Mice Minskin Mist Moggy Nebelung Pedigree Persian Pets Placid

Ragdoll Shorthaired Sleep Sokoke Suphalak Tabby Tail Tom Toyger Turkish Van Vocal

44 | D E C E M B E R 6 , 2 0 1 8

11/29 Solution: Space. The final frontier...still SHEPHERD EXPRESS

Solution: Can be enigmatic but we love them

Creators Syndicate Date: 12/6/18

737 3rd Street • Hermosa Beach, CA 90254 310-337-7003 • info@creators.com

::FREEWILLASTROLOGY ::BY ROB BREZSNY SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Robert Louis Stevenson published his gothic novel Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde in 1886. It was a bestseller, and quickly got turned into a theatrical production. In the ensuing 132 years, there have been well over a hundred further adaptations of the story into film and stage productions. Here’s the funny thing about this influential work: Stevenson wrote it fast. It took him three feverish days to get the gist of it, and just another six weeks to revise.

Some biographers say he was high on drugs during the initial burst, perhaps cocaine. I suspect you could also produce some robust and interesting creation in the coming weeks, Sagittarius—and you won’t even need cocaine to fuel you.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): A blogger on Tumblr named Ffsshh composed a set of guidelines that I think will be apt and useful for you to draw on in the coming weeks. Please study these suggestions and adapt them for your healing process. “Draw stick figures. Sing off-key. Write bad poems. Sew ugly clothes. Run slowly. Flirt clumsily.

Play video games on ‘easy.’ OK? You do not need to be good at something to enjoy it. Sometimes talent is overrated. Do things you like doing just because you like doing them. It’s OK to suck.”

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Aquarian athlete Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player who ever lived. He was also the first to become a billionaire. But when he was growing up, he didn’t foresee the glory that awaited him. For example, in high school he took a home economics class so as to acquire cooking abilities. Why? He imagined that as an adult he might have to prepare all of his own meals. His ears were so huge and ungainly, he reasoned, that no woman would want to be his wife. So the bad news was that he suffered from a delusion. The good news was that because of his delusion, he learned a useful skill. I foresee a similar progression for you, Aquarius. Something you did that was motivated by misguided or irrelevant ideas may yield positive results.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The Bible does not say that Mary Magdalene was a prostitute or even a “sinner.” There’s no mention of her sexual proclivities at all. Delusional ideas about her arose in the Middle Ages, instigated by priests who confused her with other women in the Bible. The truth is that the Bible names her as a key ally to Christ, and the crucial witness to his resurrection. Fortunately, a number of scholars and church leaders have in recent years been working to correct her reputation. I invite you to be motivated and inspired by this transformation as you take steps to adjust and polish your own image during the coming weeks. It’s time to get your public and private selves into closer alignment.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): When I write a horoscope for you, I focus on one or two questions because I don’t have room to cover every single aspect of your life. The theme I’ve chosen this time may seem a bit impractical, but if you take it to heart, I guarantee you it will have practical benefits. It comes from Italian author Umberto Eco. He wrote, “Perhaps the mission of those who love humanity is to make people laugh at the truth, to make truth laugh, because the only truth lies in learning to free ourselves from insane passion for the truth.” I swear to you, Aries, that if you laugh at the truth and make the truth laugh in the coming days, you will be guided to do all the right and necessary things.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You have a cosmic mandate and a poetic license to stir up far more erotic fantasies than usual. It’ll be healthy for you to unleash many new thoughts about sexual experiments that would be fun to try and novel feelings you’d like to explore and people whose naked flesh you’d be interested to experience sliding and gliding against yours. But please note that the cosmic mandate and poetic license do not necessarily extend to you acting out your fantasies. The important thing is to let your imagination run wild. That will catalyze a psychic healing you didn’t even realize you needed.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In my continuing efforts to help you want what you need and need what you want, I’ve collected four wise quotes that address your looming opportunities. 1.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

“What are you willing to give up, in order to become who you really need to be?”—author Elizabeth Gilbert. 2. “Leave the door open for the unknown, the door into the dark. That’s where the most important things come from.”—Rebecca Solnit. 3. “You enter the extraordinary by way of the ordinary.” Frederick Buechner. 4. “Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” Nathaniel Hawthorne.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): I’ve called on author Robert Heinlein to provide your horoscope. According to my astrological analysis, his insights are exactly what you need to focus on right now. “Do not confuse ‘duty’ with what other people expect of you,” he wrote. “They are utterly different. Duty is a debt you owe to yourself to fulfill obligations you have assumed voluntarily. Paying that debt can entail anything from years of patient work to instant willingness to die. Difficult it may be, but the reward is self-respect. But there is no reward at all for doing what other people expect of you, and to do so is not merely difficult, but impossible.”

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): What does “beauty” mean to you? What sights, sounds, images, qualities, thoughts, and behavior do you regard as beautiful? Whatever your answers might be to those questions right now, I suggest you expand and deepen your definitions in the coming weeks. You’re at a perfect pivot point to invite more gorgeous, lyrical grace into your life; to seek out more elegance and charm and artistry; to cultivate more alluring, delightful magic.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You know the expiration dates that appear on the labels of the prescription drugs you buy? They don’t mean that the drugs lose their potency after that date. In fact, most drugs are still quite effective for at least another ten years. Let’s use this fact as a metaphor for a certain resource or influence in your life that you fear is used up or defunct. I’m guessing it still has a lot to offer you, although you will have to shift your thinking in order to make its reserves fully available.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Libran rapper Eminem is renowned for his verbal skill. It may be best exemplified in his song “Rap God,” in which he delivers 1,560 words in six minutes and four seconds, or 4.28 words per second. In one stretch, he crams in 97 words in 15 seconds, achieving a pace of 6.5 words per second. I suspect that in the coming weeks, you will also be unusually adept at using words, although your forte will be potent profundity rather than sheer speed. I encourage you to prepare by making a list of the situations where your enhanced powers of persuasion will be most useful.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In May of 1883, the newly built Brooklyn Bridge opened for traffic. Spanning the East River to link Manhattan and Brooklyn, it was the longest suspension bridge in the world. But almost immediately people spread rumors that it was unstable. There was a growing fear that it might even crumble and fall. That’s when charismatic showman P. T. Barnum stepped in.

He arranged to march 21 elephants across the bridge.

There was no collapse, and so the rumors quickly died. I regard the coming weeks as a time when you should take inspiration from Barnum. Provide proof that will dispel gossipy doubt. Drive away superstitious fear with dramatic gestures. Demonstrate how strong and viable your improvements really are.

Homework: Imagine that one of your heroes comes to you and says, “Teach me the most important things you know.” What do you say? Freewillastrology.com.

Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes and Daily Text Message Horoscopes. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

::NEWS OF THE WEIRD ::BY THE EDITORS OF ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

Weird T-E-X-A-S

K

atherine Leigh Mehta, 26, of Arlington, Texas, accepted a gig to photograph a wedding at The Springs Event Venue in Weatherford on Nov. 24. But, she became the star of the show when guests discovered her having sex with one of the wedding attendees at the venue, according to WSRZ Radio. A security guard summoned Parker County Sheriff’s deputies, who found Mehta yelling by a fountain on the property, according to their report.

She then walked to a tree and urinated. She was recorded as well, screaming: “Y’all families will be dead by Christmas! Y’alls daughters are dead! My dad is gonna find out about this, and y’all are dead... D-E-A-D!” At the jail, officers found a bottle of anxiety pills, which they believe she mixed with alcohol, causing her erratic behavior.

Pill-oried Policeman Richard Langely, 46, of Kansas City, Mo., was working part-time for the Platte Woods Police Department in October when he decided to take part in the department’s drug take-back program. Except, according to court documents, Langely wasn’t disposing of drugs; instead, he was helping himself to the pills he had been collecting. And, to make matters worse, the Kansas City Star reported, his own body camera captured evidence enabling prosecutors to charge him with felony theft of a controlled substance.

Waffles, Half Off! Wesley Bost, 27, of Birmingham, Ala., made quite the impression when he fell through the ceiling of a Waffle House in Tuscumbia on Nov. 4—not least because he wasn’t wearing pants. Bost apparently went into the restaurant’s bathroom and used his pants to tie the door shut; then, said Tuscumbia police Detective Sgt. Wes Holland, Bost climbed into the ceiling with the intent of robbing the office.

WHNT News reported that video of the incident shows Bost shoving other restaurant patrons on his way to the door, which was being held shut by people outside, before hitting the door with his shoulder and falling to the floor.

Finally, he managed to flee, sans trousers, which held his wallet and driver’s license.

Making His Case It happens all the time: A vehicle crashes into a building, causing damage and sometimes injury, because brakes don’t function or a driver steps on the wrong pedal. In the case of Keith Rio Cavalier, 28, however, there was more to the story. WLOX reported that Cavalier drove his 1997 Toyota Tacoma into a glass wall at the Harrison County Courthouse in Gulfport, Miss., on Nov. 10. The building was empty, so there were no injuries. When police caught up to him, Cavalier told them he intentionally struck the building in order to report drug paraphernalia had been stolen from him.

Shockingly, Cavalier was found to have been driving under the influence.

Latest Weevil News Former Toronto Blue Jays star José Bautista has another honor to add to his résumé, thanks to entomologist Bob Anderson of the Canadian Museum of Nature. On Nov. 22, reported the Associated Press, Anderson named a newly discovered species of beetle after the star third baseman and right fielder. Sicoderus bautistai is a small, black weevil found in the Dominican Republic, from where Bautista hails. “I thought, what a great way to kind of recognize (Bautista’s) contributions to Blue Jays baseball and to Canadian baseball, really, as a whole,” said Anderson.

Gellatly Doesn’t Go Lightly Suspected car prowler Isaiah Gellatly, 31, of Vancouver, Wash., was going about his business late on Nov. 19 when the police were called, according to Fox12 News. Responding officers found Gellatly reclining in the driver’s seat of a Honda Accord matching the suspect vehicle’s description. Suddenly, Gellatly sat up and sped away, leading to a high-speed pursuit and the use of spike strips. As the car slowed and swayed, Gellatly opened his door to flee, forgetting to put the Honda in park; it rolled alongside him as he ran. He attempted to cross in front of it when it first struck a tree and then a building, breaking Gellatly’s legs. Inside the Honda, police found the stolen items that all the fuss was about: a tennis racket, a Ping-Pong paddle and a 1980s Texas Instruments calculator. © 2018 ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

D E C E M B E R 6 , 2 0 1 8 | 45

::ARTFORART’SSAKE

Fresh Start with Art ::BY ART KUMBALEK

I

’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, I’m a little too busy to whip out a regular essay this week seeing as how I’m unexpectedly blowing the dust off my résumé so’s I can send it to the Green Bay Packers employment office. I sure as heck wouldn’t mind being the next head coach for our beloved Green & Gold, I kid you not.

I think what could cinch it for me is if I could get a message to Aaron Rodgers and let him know that if I was to be the coach, I’d abso-focking-lutely let him do whatever the hell he wanted to do at all times. I wouldn’t get in his way about anything. Call all the plays? You betcha. Call the other team’s plays to boot?

Be my guest. Give Clay a sponge bath after practice?

Here’s the soap. Bang Danica on the 50-yard line during halftime? No problemo. Have me stop by the Rodgers abode to do some light housekeeping and clean the toilets? Heck yeah, I’ve got rubber gloves and a dust pan, what the fock.

And I could be had for nowhere what they were paying Mike McCarthy—which I hear was about $6 million a year. I’d be happy to coach for half that figure, and what team doesn’t like to save some dough when they can? Hey, you tell me.

And then I’ll tell you’s I got to go, but you’re welcome to stick around and browse Art’s Holiday Bading! Boutique ’cause why not this year give everyone on your goddamn Christmas list the gift of laughter?

46 | D E C E M B E R 6 , 2 0 1 8

This gift won’t cost you a focking dime and you can use the money saved on a big ol’ bottle of holiday cheer all for yourself and drown your seasonal depression like a bag of cats over the bridge.

What follows are a couple, three items that may interest you. Feel free to stroll around the page and choose whatever catches your eye.

Ned walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says: “Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache.”

His girlfriend is lying in bed and replies: “I think you’ll find that’s a sheep, you focking idiot.”

And Ned says: “And I think you’ll find I wasn’t talking to you.” Ba-ding!

Three men were waiting at Heaven’s Gate. St. Peter says, “OK, guys, pretty much anything goes up here, but whatever you do, never lie, or you will spend the rest of eternity with the ugliest woman in the universe.”

They all agree and St. Pete gives them the green light to pass through. The first guy makes it a week before he lies about how rich he was on Earth. Bingo! Right at his side appears the ugliest woman he had ever seen.

The second guy makes it another couple weeks before he lies about how smart he is. Blammo! At his side appears the second ugliest woman in the universe.

So the first two guys are walking around with their grotesque gals when they see their third friend walking with the hottest woman ever seen by man. In unison they ask, “How did you land with that spectacular beauty when we get stuck with these loathsome ladies?”

He nudges the babe and says, “Hon, tell them.” She says to the first two guys, “I lied.” Ba-ding!

At a major medical convention a noted internist arose to announce that he had discovered a new miracle antibiotic.

“What’s it cure?” asks a member of the audience.

“Nothing we don’t already have a drug for,” the internist replies.

“Then what’s so miraculous about it?”

Internist says, “One of the side effects is short-term memory loss. Several of my patients have paid my bill three or four times.” Ba-ding!

So this gal walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter and says, “I’ll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress.” The clerk, cupping his ear says, “Come again?” And the gal says,

“No. This time it’s mayonnaise.” Ba-ding!

Some shepherd pulled Mary aside shortly after the birth of the Christ child and all the hoopla with the three wise men had died down. He said unto her, “Don’t you think that instead of all this business about ‘Gloria in excelsis Deo’ etcetera, how about a nice simple ‘Season’s Greetings’?” And Mary said unto him, “What, my son has come to Earth to deliver the message, ‘Hello, it’s winter’? Focking forget about it.”

Ba-ding!

Okey-dokey, got to close up shop. Hope you found something you liked, you cheap bastards, ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.

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A Gift from Heaven

ALL-NEW 2019 PRODUCTION WITH LIVE ORCHESTRA

DID YOU KNOW THAT, back in ancient China, people once held that their magnificent culture was a gift from the heavens? Art was a way to explore this connection between humankind and higher realms. Today, Shen Yun is reviving this tradition.

Through the universal language of dance and music, Shen Yun weaves a wondrous tapestry of celestial paradises, ancient legends, and modern heroic tales, taking you on a journey through 5,000 years of authentic Chinese culture. Its stunning beauty, purity, and tremendous energy leave audiences uplifted and deeply inspired.

“I was in heaven watching it!”

—Andrea Huber, dance critic

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the rest of my life.”

—Arion Jay Goodwin, music producer

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I was uplifted...”

—Richard Swett, former U.S. Congressman

ORDER YOUR TICKETS TODAY!

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Feb 2–3 • Miller High Life Theatre

Give the Gift They’ll Talk About for Years to Come SHEPHERD EXPRESS