july
Greenville, SC
free!
skirt!is
www.skirt.com
Declare your independence from the Party of No and join the Party of
Peace, Love And
Sexual equality… Be a self-governing body who chooses her own birth control. Vote for DressUp Fridays. Make a nonpartisan fashion statement with pearls and a Planned Parenthood t-shirt. Stand up and be noticed in Push-the-Envelope Platinum instead of Well-Bred Blonde. Don’t be fooled by faux feminists or fake labels. Filibuster until we get our faces on real money instead of coins nobody uses. Let’s trade Grant for Gloria. Form your own PAC of she-wolves to defend the environment from predatory energy companies. Poll the pols: Who takes oil money? Amazons are back in fashion.
What would Wonder Woman do?
Cover art by Lisa Henderling
“Do the Don’ts.” Juicy Couture
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Let’s have a
Vagina Dialogue! Read too many books lately? Lack of desire leading to boredom in the bedroom?
The Physical Therapists at Proaxis Therapy are trained to provide treatment to restore function, improve mobility, relieve pain, and prevent or limit permanent physical disabilities of patients suffering from injuries or disease. As community health professionals, our Physical Therapists are involved in health and fitness education and promoting wellness. Well, sexual health is also an integral component to overall wellness that is often overlooked, and sexual activity a valued human activity. The Women’s Health Specialists at Proaxis Therapy have an important role in promoting sexual health and treating dysfunction, through a specialized area called pelvic floor rehabilitation. Q. I am a mother of three little ones, and before I had kids my husband and I had a very active sex life. Now, not so much? Is there something I can do to increase my “sexual desire”? A. The pelvic floor muscles, in addition to their roles of supporting the pelvic organs and acting as “sphincters” to maintain urinary and fecal continence, are also important in enhancing sexual function. A strong pelvic floor may help to enhance sexual response, function and orgasm. For women experiencing lack of sexual desire or problems experiencing orgasm, it is always advisable to talk with your physician to have a medical work up. However, in many cases, physical therapy for your pelvic floor can help increase sexual desire by strengthening the muscles that are used or involved in orgasm. Q. Is it normal to not want to have sex after menopause? A. Lack of sexual desire can be caused by either physical, mental or emotional components. From a physical standpoint, changes in hormone levels experienced by women when they are pregnant, breastfeeding, or in women after going through menopause can be responsible for lack of vaginal lubrication, pain with intercourse, weakening and thinning of the pelvic floor tissues, and thus, lack of sexual desire. In addition, pregnancy and childbirth can cause strain and weakness to the pelvic floor as well as damage to the nerves that supply the pelvic floor tissues, at times, leading to a lack of desire and inability to experience orgasm.
Our Women’s Health program is available to be of benefit to women at every stage of their life. Email your questions to: info@proaxistherapy.com.
Offering South Carolina’s only Board Certified Women’s Health Specialists
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Julyw2010greenville
3
Sowing the seeds of
Life
John E. Nichols, MD John F. Payne, MD Providing treatment for infertility including inseminations, In Vitro Fertilization, and Tubal Reversals. 17 Caledon Ct. Ste C Greenville, SC 675 Biltmore Ave. Ste H. Asheville, NC 1330 Boiling Springs Rd. Ste. 2200 Spartanburg, SC
864-232-7734 phone | 866-725-7734 toll free | www.pregonline.com
Summer Sale!
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Woodruff Road Animal Hospital Your complete animal care specialists. Our services include: • • • • • •
Preventative & Wellness care for Pets of All Ages Pet Dentistry • Surgery Home Again® microchips available Behavioral Assessments and Training Convenient drop-off service available New Advanced Digital Radiography
WELCOME TO Dr. Lauren Johnson, a small animal veterinarian with a special interest in Avian and exotic medicine. She is now accepting appointments. Please call (864) 234-5995. extended office hours Monday and Thursday, 7:30 AM to 7:00 PM Laser Therapy can help treat your pet for pain associated with the neck, back, arthritis or injury. It also assists with the healing of wounds and hotspots. “PuPPY PlAY And leArn” Weekly early education classes for puppies up to 12 weeks of age.
Ongoing classes held by Mira Jones, owner of TailLights Dogs every Thursday evening.
Reservations are required, so please call Woodruff Road Animal Hospital to schedule an appointment for you and your new puppy today. • NeW exTeNDeD HOuRS •
Monday and Thursday 7:30 am to 7:00 pm Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday 7:30 am to 6:00 pm
2222 Augusta Rd., Ste.5, Greenville, SC • 864.271.9750 4
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Julyw2010greenville
5
A
july
features
about skirt! Publisher Nikki Hardin editor@skirt.com
Ms. Feminista
Greenville Editor Sheril Bennett Turner sheril.turner@skirt.com
Lisa Duran ................................................................................................14
“I’m a Feminist because…”
National Art Director Caitilin McPhillips caitilin.mcphillips@skirt.com
Karen Goodchild ..................................................................................16
Director of Sales Angela Filler angela.filler@skirt.com
“I’m a Feminist because…” Diane B. Lee ............................................................................................18
Sales Executive Kathryn Barmore kathryn.barmore@skirt.com
“I’m a Feminist because…”
Graphic Designer Shelli H. Rutland
Amy Loftis Alley ....................................................................................20
Photographers
The Dress on the Back of the Door
John Fowler 864.380.6682 john@johnfowlerphotography.com
Rachel Jones ..........................................................................................24
Sheril Bennett Turner
One Last Heart-to-Heart
Sales 864.357.3669
Stacy Appel ..............................................................................................26
FAX: 864.751.2815
sheMAIL 1708-C Augusta ST. #335 Greenville, SC 29605
subscribe! For a one-year Subscription (12 issues), send a $35 check to:
ineveryissue
skirt!Greenville 1708-C Augusta ST. #335 Greenville, SC 29605
From the Publisher/Editor...................................................................8 Letters..............................................................................................................9 Calendar......................................................................................................10 Skirt of the Month................................................................................11
skirt! is all about women... their work, play, families, creativity, style, health and wealth, bodies and souls. skirt! is an attitude...spirited, independent, outspoken, serious, playful and irreverent, sometimes controversial, always passionate.
He’s So Original with Ronnie Mark............................................22 Products.......................................................................................................25 skirt! Alerts/Brava/It’s a Shame...................................................29 Girl Power with Chase Crist and A.J. Lynn............................30
skirt.com
skirt! Loves..............................................................................................31
skirt! is published monthly and distributed free throughout the greater Greenville area. skirt! reserves the right to refuse to sell space for any advertisement the staff deems inappropriate for the publication. Unsolicited manuscripts must be accompanied by a selfaddressed, stamped envelope. Letters to the editor are welcome, but may be edited due to space limitations. Press releases must be received by the 1st of the month for the following month’s issue. All content of this magazine, including without limitation the design, advertisements, art, photos and editorial content, as well as the selection, coordination and arrangement thereof, is Copyright © 2010, Morris Publishing Group, LLC. All Rights Reserved. No portion of this magazine may be copied or reprinted without the express written permission of the publisher. SKIRT!® is a registered trademark of Morris Publishing Group, LLC.
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24/7 with Jodi Drury...........................................................................32 Browse..........................................................................................................33 Planet Nikki................................................................................................34
skirt.com
july [ the F-Word issue ]
Fig leaF
Failure is good feedback
Fame Is A Flatterer F o r g i v e n e s s
F l i r t i n g
l i g h t s
is
Free i n g Love has the finaL word
skirt.com
Julyw2010greenville
 
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from the publisher
cover artist Lisa Henderling knew she wanted to be an illustrator by the age of six, when she would hide under the piano and draw women with pink
got news? Let us know what’s on your mind, respond to an article, or give us info on an upcoming event.
hair. Though her show-
Send letters or press re-
business parents wanted
leases to sheril.turner@skirt.
her to continue in the family
com, or mail to skirt!
tradition, they soon real-
Greenville,
ized that Lisa’s acting and
1708-C Augusta St. #335,
dancing abilities were more
Greenville, SC 29605.
than questionable so they acquiesced to her begging for art lessons. Lisa graduated from Fashion Institute
contribute
time on, she has been in
We are always looking for new writers and artists.
demand with top national
Our guidelines for
and international clients for
writers and artists are
her fun, fab and sophisti-
available online at skirt.com.
cated style depicting women
Submit artwork or essays
and teens that portray an
via e-mail to submissions@
attitude of confidence and
skirt.com. Check out our
cool. Her editorial clients
website at skirt.com for
include Latina, Vibe, The Wall
giveaways, essays, and other
Street Journal, Lucky, The New
extras that aren’t in the
York Times, New York Daily
print edition.
of Technology and from that
News, Family Circle, People Magazine, Self Magazine and USA Today. Lisa resides in a small historic town in
distribute
upstate New York with her
Need additional copies of skirt!?
husband, son, cat and Ike,
If you would like to
the cutest Corgi in the world.
have copies of skirt! in your business, give us a call.
the F-Word I got so riled up by the local primaries in my state (South Carolina) last month that I decided I should run for office, any office, on the skirt! Party ticket. Could I do any worse than an elected representative who yells “You lie” at the president or one who calls Obama and a candidate for governor “ragheads”? So if I’m elected... ✪ I will never call South Carolina state senator Jake Knotts of raghead fame a “racist, sexist pig.” I might think it, but I won’t say it. ✪ I promise not to rail against government interference in healthcare while accepting Medicare payments at the same time. ✪ I will reveal all my past affairs and apologize for none of them. Je ne regrette rien. ✪ I won’t promise to take back America, because the last time I looked it was still here. ✪ I won’t run ads that talk about what a good Christian I am, because the last time I looked that wasn’t a requirement to hold office. ✪ I won’t play on people’s fears about immigration, because the last time I looked we aren’t Aryan Nation. By the way, why was the Berlin Wall wrong, but the Border Wall right? ✪ I’ll nag incessantly to get the Confederate flag removed from the Capitol grounds. ✪ I’ll visit all of our most shameful schools with a TV camera crew and the Boeing CEO. He should see how we’re training his future work force. ✪ I promise never to wear a red power suit or a pantsuit to show I’m as tough as a man. ✪ I’ll have a regular meeting with all the female state senators. Oh wait, I forgot. There aren’t any in South Carolina. ✪ My platform will be a pair of three-inch heels to keep me above the slime thrown in a typical SC election. Clearly I wouldn’t be elected even if I could come up with the $10,000 filing fee (in cash, as one of our candidates did!), but I’ll be actively supporting candidates, whether they’re in my district or state, who give me hope about America, not the ones who are scaring the daylights out of us in order to get elected.
Nikki
publisher@skirt.com
from the editor “Will you help me make me a giant F?” I casually asked my husband one Saturday afternoon. Now, Rick, being a builder as well as my husband, is used to strange requests so he didn’t blink an eye. “It’s for our upcoming F-Word issue,” I explained. “F for Feministas and Fashionistas, of course.” After explaining my idea for the July profile prop, I printed out a plain Times New Roman F to use as a blueprint. “Well,” apprised Rick, speaking in his deliberate way. “It seems to me if this F represents feminism, then you might want to use a more feminine font.” After a moment’s deliberation, I realized that out of the mouths of babes and sometimes men, comes an insightful thing or two. When our feminine F was finished, we christened her Fergie (after Black Eyed Pea Fergie, not a certain disgraced duchess) and introduced her to our fabulous feminist females who answered the call to complete the sentence, “I’m a feminist because…” Coincidently, all three women turned out to be public school educators and administrators involved in the arts. To that I say, God Bless America!
skir t. c
v
is
it
s!
❉ skirt
skirt.com
❉
m
Julyw2010greenville
o
m
o
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sheril.turner@skirt.com
❉ skirt .c
Sheril
dearskirt! My wife picked up a copy of skirt! and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, particularly Stephanie Hunt’s essay on going home [“Neither Here Nor There,”
...she secretly uses skirt! to remind me there are hip, stylish, amazing women in the South so I’ll move back! Just wanted you to know that I picked up a copy of skirt! while I was vacationing in Folly Beach, SC in April and I read it cover to cover and loved all of the
June]. I can relate to visiting your hometown and finding businesses closed, houses gone, and stores boarded up. Hunt’s fortunate that her mother gives her a reason to revisit her North Carolina hometown. After mine passed, I’ve rarely returned home. This year, I’m going back for a school reunion. There’s no family anymore, but there are classmates, neighbors and church members who remember both the good old days and the not-sogood.
Help Us Celebrate The
GRAND OPENING Of Our 2nd Location
21-C Augusta St.
In the West End, Downtown Greenville
Joe Cupurdija Mechanicsville,VA
essays. I copied down the names of the authors and their past publications so
I love skirt!. It’s fresh, informative,
that I can look them up in the future.
entertaining and women have latched
I brought my copy back to Maine with
onto it because, unlike the others,
me to pass along at the office. Thanks
skirt! gets it.
so much for a great publication. I only
Charlotte-Marie Callins Richmond,VA
wish you published up here. I don’t like to get on the computer when I get home
Love this mag! I just found it recently
because I’m on it at work all day!
and it’s awesome!
Pauline Gallagher Bath, Maine
Maggie Vuncannon Phillips Kernersville, NC
I am sending a subscription of skirt! to my daughters. I just realized I’m a feminist because I’ve seen the wonders of womanhood through my wonderful daughters and their lovely mom! All deserve recognition. They are so often so overlooked and reduced by us men! Dr. John Reddick Memphis,TN
Hey skirt!, Please come to Asheville!
It’s fresh, informative, entertaining and women have latched onto it because, unlike others, skirt! gets it.
We would love to have you here. I have been a fan of skirt! since day one with Nikki Hardin in Charleston. Kathleen Hutchinson Asheville, NC
My mom has been sending me each skirt! magazine issue for over a reading it, but she secretly uses skirt! to remind me there are hip, stylish, amazing women in the South so I’ll the wonderful heartfelt essays, and
E.R.A.
yes, I’ve been known to cry. Great job on inspiring me from the other side of the country! Emily S. Heintz Los Angeles, CA
30
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year from Durham. She knows I love
move back! My favorite part is reading
July 15th, 16th, & 17th
Have an opinion? Email sheril.turner@skirt.com. All letters to the editor must include the writer’s name and city/state.
21-C Augusta St. West End, Downtown Greenville 864.283.0989 Mon. - Sat. 10 – 6
3730 Pelham Rd. Greenville 864.676.1900 Mon. - Fri. 10 – 6 Saturday 10 - 4 skirt.com
Julyw2010greenville
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july sunday
monday
Soby’s On The Side has a Sunday Brunch where you can enjoy their famous fried green tomatoes, made-to-order omelets and fruit crepes, all prepared with a Southern twist. sobysontheside.com
Bulletproof vests and windshield wipers were both invented by women.
4
1-3
It’s the last weekend to catch Amadeus at the Warehouse Theatre! warehousetheatre.com
juLY ChaLLenge Rejuvenate yourself at least one day this month. Schedule what Oriah Mountain Dreamer calls a “bed day.” Run the household from bed in your PJs, turn off the phone, read, nap, watch movies, order pizza for dinner.
Different boards for different levels. Find yours at girlsurfboards.com. 13 Banish fuzzy, poorly lit photographs forever! Join a professional freelance photographer as she shares information on composition and how to use natural lighting to expertly capture summer memories to last a lifetime. greenvillelibrary.org
Giatu is a new restaurant located in the Marriott Greenville but locally owned and operated. Enjoy their eclectic American cuisine with small bite or large bite servings. giatu.com
Join a tour leader for an educational walk along the downtown portion of the Reedy River to learn about river history, plant and animal life. friendsofthereedyriver.org
Keep it beach chic with Hermes.
Only $530 for a beach towel! What
recession?
27
Julyw2010greenville
60% of 15-year-olds in the U.S. score at or below the most basic level of problem solving.
Saturday 10
Don’t miss the 2010 South Carolina Festival of Discovery, where you’ll discover a weekend of food, fun, and music as you learn about the history, traditions, folklore, arts and crafts, music and dance, and vernacular culture of Greenwood, the South Carolina Upstate area, and the entire state. uptowngreenwood.com
Join the Hughes Main Library for an in-depth tour and learn how to locate family information in the South Carolina Room. Space is limited and registration is required at 527.9261. greenvillelibrary.org Bookends: Mother-Daughter Book Group discuss and make journals on Dairy Queen by Catherine Murdock. For girls in grades 6-8 with an adult female caregiver. Call 527.9248 to register. greenvillelibrary.org
Today, check out the Earle Street Baptist Church 4th of July Parade (esbcgreenville. org), see the Greenville Symphony Orchestra at Independence Day at Heritage Park (heritage parkamphitheater. com), or head to Greer City Park for the Greer Memorial Hospital Freedom Blast (cityofgreer.org).
Enjoy traditional bluegrass music as local musicians gather at the historic Table Rock lodge for a jam session during Music on the Mountain. southcarolinaparks.com/ park-finder/state-park/trbluegrass.aspx
Every Saturday night through August, come listen to local bands play folk or acoustic music at Paris Mountain State Park during Music in the Woods. southcarolinaparks.com/ park-finder/state-park/722.aspx
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15
Greenville painter Teri Pena looks at Local Color: Landscapes from the Southern Collection. greenvillemuseum.org
3
The Go Drive Run is a net-downhill, point-to-point 5k course that starts beside Fluor Field. The Kid’s Run will start at home plate and wind around the entire field on the warning track then finish back at home plate on the other side. gomagsc.com
17
Get your wheels spinning at the Greenway Bicycle Ride! Join Brian Graham, the City’s Greenway Planner, for a bicycle ride along the Swamp Rabbit Trail. greenvillesc.gov
Enjoy hot dogs and other special treats during Hot Dog Day at the Greenville Zoo! greenvillezoo.com Families can celebrate A Portrait of Greenville with hands-on art activities, music, and fun. greenvillemuseum.org
The Freedom to Ride
If you’re planning a trip to Europe and want a hip, alternative guide, try Graphic Europe, reviews/recommendations on what to do in 31 cities by 31 graphic designers. amazon.com.
29
Sketch from masterworks in the Museum while learning about Andrew Wyeth’s approach to rendering people. Sketchpads and pencils will be provided. greenvillemuseum.org
Schools
30-31
Get ready for those dog days of summer at the Kennel Club Dog Shows at the Carolina First Center. For more information call 864.225.1871 or visit greenvillekc.org.
July is Women’s Motorcyle Month, and according to the Motorcycle Industry Council, women riders increased by 34 percent between 1998 and 2003, with more than 4.3 million women motorcyclists on the road today.
Design Professionals
Freedom from Clutter Do you need more space in your office, schoolroom or home? The Universal Vertical Filing Rack© is wall-mounted to free up desk (or kitchen table) space by storing files, bills or other flat content like kids’ paintings. Check it out at westervilledesign.com.
“There’s something liberating about not pretending. 10
1Nearly
July Is Shoeless Joe Jackson Month! Check out this special exhibit of baseball artifacts, including autographed baseballs, cards, gloves, bats, photos of a bygone era. shoelessjoejackson.org
8-10
saturday
funday
T R AV E L T I P
Come join the City of Greenville for the AT&T Red, White and Blue Celebration, a true 4th of July celebration of our nation’s birthday! greenvillesc.gov
thursday
wednesday
tuesday
skirt.com
Dare to embarrass yourself.” Drew Barrymore
Traci Daberko is an illustrator and graphic designer in Seattle, WA. See her work at daberkodesign.com.
Navy Plaid Abra skirt Abercrombie & Fitch •Haywood Mall •Greenville • 864.458.8261
skirt.com
Julyw2010greenville
11
overheard
Schedule a Crafternoon. “PS—I need to go to Home Depot.” Sometimes we
think we’ll die without that
sparkly bib necklace, but often
we think we could
make it ourselves. Get some D.I.Y.
inspiration from
PS I Made This, an inventive blog by a gal who tries
instead of buys. psimadethis.com
Bobble Your Bottle.
“...it’s a carbon filter bottle top that removes contaminants from regular tap water...
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Julyw2010greenville
skirt.com
“My water is more high tech than your water.”
Drink bobbled water instead of bottled—it’s a carbon filter bottle top that removes contaminants from regular tap water and meets standards for chlorine, taste and odor reduction. The filter is recyclable, the plastic is BPA-free and recycled, and the look is by renowned industrial designer Karim Rashad. We’ll drink to that!
Chicks in Flicks. “Forrest Gump was on TV last night—I laughed, I cried…and then I realized it doesn’t even pass the Bechdel test.” The Bechdel test has three parts: 1. Are there two or more female characters with names? 2. Do they talk to each other? and 3. If they talk to each other, do they talk about something other than a man? It doesn’t always guarantee a quality or even feminist movie (The Alphabet Killer makes the cut), but it’s interesting to think that some of our long-held classics don’t pass the test. Our favorites that failed? Slumdog Millionaire, Princess Bride, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, When Harry Met Sally, and Milk—none meet all three qualifications. Think about your DVD collection... we dare you.
Feeling Frazzled? Frantic? Frigid?
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Have the life – and the love life – that you deserve! Call Jim Greene, R.Ph. at 879.2325 Skrip Shoppe Pharmacy 406 W. Poinsett St., Greer, SC 29650 www.skripshoppepharmacy.com
Also providing Biohormone Replacement Therapy for your hormonal issues. skirt.com
Julyw2010greenville
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Fortunately, the teacher in me quickly took over, and I realized this was just another great teaching moment.
I
Lisa Duran
was a teenager in the ’80s, so most of the feminist work had already been done by women before me. Most of the time I am just a freeloader, taking advantage of all the benefits they struggled so hard for, enjoying the spoils of battles I didn’t have to fight. The majority of college freshmen I teach, however, were born in the ’90s, and their formal education about historical events seems to have stopped after World War II and then picked up again about 50 years later with their own personal experiences. As a result, a large chunk of history and culture has been lost to them, including the women’s movement. This was made apparent to me while we were studying Margaret Atwood’s dystopian novel The Handmaid’s Tale. We had just started reading the book and were discussing the names of the handmaids, the group of women designated to be childbearers in this society. They had names like Ofwarren, Ofglen, and Offred, and I was explaining that the male part of their names showed which Commander they were “working” for, and the “of” indicated that they belonged to that Commander. For example, the handmaid who was to create a baby for Warren and his wife was named Ofwarren to show that she belonged to Warren. Most students hadn’t picked up on this during their reading but were horrified at my explanation, I was glad to see. Ever mindful of making class information applicable to their lives, I took this idea one step further. “It’s similar to this,” I said, turning to write on the board. “Say I marry Jacob Brandt here,” and the class giggled as I pointed to the male student nearest to me. “My name would then become this,” and I wrote on the board: “Mrs. Jacob Brandt.” Turning back to the class, I watched their faces as they compared this to the handmaids’ names. “Most women don’t use this anymore,” I said, “but most will still take their husband’s last name like this,” and I wrote “Mrs. Lisa Brandt” on the board. I decided to keep going as a tribute to my bra-burning sisters. “That was the whole point of creating the title ‘Ms.’” The students looked at me blankly. “What’s that?” one student finally asked. “Anyone know what it is?” I asked. Not one student raised their hand. I have to say I was a little surprised that this form of address was completely unknown to them, but I realized it was a great teaching opportunity.
I wrote on the board: Miss Mrs. Ms. “Okay, so what does this mean?” and pointed to Miss. “Single woman,” they all answered. “And what about this?” I said, pointing to Mrs. “Married woman,” they answered in unison. “And this?” I asked, pointing to the Ms. I got a variety of responses, none of them correct, but most of them spoken amid a flurry of giggles. “You’re married, but still young.” “You’re a lesbian.” “You don’t know what you are.” This last guess resulted in a class-wide eruption of laughter. I was shocked. I was also offended for all my fore-sisters who had created this symbol and for me, to whom this designation had been so important as a divorced woman for the past 16 years. I was insulted that this precious symbol was now nothing more than a joke. Fortunately, the teacher in me quickly took over, and I realized this was just another great teaching moment. Not only that, but I felt honored to be able to pass on this little bit of history. I turned back to the board and wrote one more word: Mr. “What does this mean? Is this man married or not?” I asked. A variety of answers indicated that they couldn’t be certain from this. “Exactly! That’s what this is for,” I said, pointing back to the Ms. In the silence that followed, I could see a whole generation of lightbulbs going off above my students’ heads. “‘Miss’ means single, ‘Mrs.’ means married, and ‘Ms.’ means…” here I turned to my class with a smile, “it’s none of your business.” They smiled back and laughed, this time with me instead of at me and my feminist legacy. They got it! I didn’t know if any of these young women would ever use “Ms.,” but that wasn’t really the point. It was enough for them to know they had inherited the right to do so. That night as I got ready for bed, I took off my lacy Victoria’s Secret bra and held it in my hands for a minute. I briefly considered burning it, but then decided my fore-sisters had secured me the right to wear this bra—by burning theirs—so I put it back in my drawer and gave them a silent prayer of thanks.
“Ms.” Duran writes and teaches in the San Francisco Bay Area…until she can figure out how to turn her dream of living in Paris into a reality. 14
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I’m a femInIst because...
Karen Goodchild | Contemplating Culture “Personally, I want my son to have every opportunity to have an important and emotionally fulfilling role in his children’s life. Globally, women are suffering everywhere because of their gender, without equal access to health care, education, legal rights, and economic opportunities. When these wrongs are righted, everyone will benefit.” Karen is a Professor of Art History and a Coordinator of the Gender Studies Program at Wofford College. She enjoys reading, looking at art and other old stuff, shoes, buying Russian art on eBay, etymology, Scottish indie pop, and “drinking wine with friends who are witty and make me seem witty.” Read more at greenville.skirt.com. Photo by John Fowler
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I’m a femInIst because...
Diane B. Lee | Makes the Scene “Life is too short for ‘he’ and ‘she,’ for ‘ought to’ and ‘shouldn’t,’ for ‘be careful’ and ‘watch out.’ Live the life that opens up to you and go for the glory of the present moment. It’s all any of us have.” A talented playwright, director and school drama teacher, Diane was delighted when the position of Fine Arts Coordinator for Greenville County Schools became available five years ago. “I love visual arts but can’t draw a lick, so I set up exhibitions and spend my paycheck on art!” Future goals include, “getting some sleep, having fun—lots of fun—and making sure the arts survive and thrive.” Read more at greenville.skirt.com. Photo by John Fowler
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I’m a femInIst because...
Amy Loftis Alley | Creative Movement “I believe women are the nurturers and sustainers of society. We are the center, the core of the family, and family is, in essence, the core of our society. I grew up a tomboy; it is only as an adult, and especially a mother, that I realize how important close, nurturing connections with other women are to our spirits.” Amy is a teacher, an artist, a poet, and a single mother who has just published her first novel, The Absence of Anyone Else. In addition, Amy organizes a monthly poetry circle and edits a bi-monthly ezine called, conveniently, Finding Balance. Read more at greenville.skirt.com. Photo by John Fowler
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HE’S SO ORIGINAL
Ronnie Mark is Brewing Up Mo’ Joe. When Ronnie lived in DC, Virginia Beach and Charlotte, he hung out in trendy coffee, tea and wine bars much like the one he opened two years ago in downtown Greer. “I missed having that little pocket of the city, so I decided to recreate the atmosphere in a small town and show people what they were missing.” Café Mundo has since become a popular hangout for the locals—and not just for the obvious. “One of the things I like most about what I do is I get the chance to hear people’s stories and offer advice. I’m secretly known as ‘the shrink’ here in Greer,” laughs Ronnie. Read more at greenville.skirt.com. What do you love about skirt magazine? “It’s pretty bold and outside of the box.” How do you feel wearing a skirt? “I’m kind of a non-conformist anyway, so this just gives me another excuse to do the opposite of what’s expected of me. Heck, I will do most anything for attention!” Photo by John Fowler
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I bought one. I wore it. I was a little nervous.
D r e s s o n th e B a c k o f th e D o or The
Rachel Jones
A
pink bikini I bought in the youth department at JCPenney sits in my underwear drawer. I’ve worn it twice in Djibouti. Once as an experiment—would people gape at the stretch marks left by carrying twins to full term as much as I thought they would? And once to make a statement. I don’t know whether the statement was being made to myself or the American woman I was with, but it was this: I have a pink bikini from the youth department and I have stretch marks and
I don’t care. I was trying to impress her, trying to show her I was as American as anyone even though I haven’t lived there for seven years, can’t remember English idioms and have never heard of a decade’s worth of Academy Award-winning movies. I was trying to prove the same thing to myself: I could fit in on either side of the ocean and I really don’t care about breast size and peachy silver scars. She wore a black and yellow bikini. We speculated on why Americans are so concerned about bikinis when Europeans wouldn’t dream of wearing a tankini or one-piece no matter how old they were, how many wrinkles they had or how low their breasts swung. Without saying it out loud, we were both smugly happy in our bikinis using Dora the Explorer shovels to bury our children in the sand. I don’t think we impressed or proved anything to anyone. I also have, hanging on a metal clothing rack on the back of our bedroom door, a black abaya. Well, mostly black. There are blue sequins and a squiggle of blue ribbon sewn down the length of each arm. In Djibouti, the flowing black cloak was as much about convenience and modest fashion as it was about the Islamic religion. I thought they were beautiful. Beautiful for the way they flowed and swished around ankles, the shimmer of fabric and the elegance of black. And beautiful in the aura of mystique shrouded about the wearer. No one knows if a woman wearing an abaya has a spare tire around her waist or if she has breastfed 10 children or if her hips have spread, her butt fallen
and her thighs mushified. For all the world knows, the body beneath the coat is sexy and desirable. The abaya says, “I’m not concerned about attracting a man with tight jeans and a low-cut shirt.” The woman wearing it holds the power of secrecy and discovery. I didn’t care, really, about attracting anyone’s attention. My skin color and accent did that well enough on their own. But I wanted something to wear on the bus to the track before I started stretching. I wanted something to wear to conservative areas of town, something I could slip over my everyday clothes without having to change multiple times a day. I bought one. I wore it. I was a little nervous. What would people say when an American arrived in an abaya? Much like my bikini at the beach, most people didn’t care, didn’t even notice. I was another swirl of black material, another woman carrying secrets under my coat and in my soul. I pulled the abaya over my head at the track, tightened my Asics running shoes and prepared to warm up. The abaya lay in a heap beside my water bottle on the wooden bench. Just like my co-runners’ abayas. They waved at me and I jogged to them so we could stretch together. “Together” was the operative word for me. I wanted to be together with my Djiboutian friends the way my black cloak was with theirs—natural, thrown into a pile, blending in. I realized I had another motive. I felt left out of a secret club. The club where women were so confident they didn’t need to buy clothing to impress people. Where women didn’t need to use size four pink bikinis to prove anything to anyone. I look at my bikini (which I don’t really like wearing because it is harder to play Frisbee and wrestle with the kids in a petite stringy number), and I adore the freedom I have to wear it if I want to. Then I look at my abaya (which I have mixed feelings about because I don’t like the blue sequins and because it is hotter than hell in Djibouti without adding a floor-length black coat), and I enjoy the freedom I have to wear that as well, to slip into another world where I don’t have to think about whether my underwear lines are showing or about the jelly stain on the belly of my white shirt. Into the world of beauty and mystery.
Rachel Jones has lived in Somalia and Kenya and currently resides in Djibouti with her husband and three children. She blogs about family and life in Africa at trjonesfamily.blogspot.com. 24
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One Last Heart-to-Heart ...I became the keeper of Meredith’s inner life. I knew everything worth knowing about her.
Stacy Appel
F
rom elementary school on, my friend Meredith enlisted me as her sole confidante. The plump, pretty daughter of two conventionally minded parents, she talked with them about math class or Girl Scouts or what she most longed for at Christmas. Any topic more personal, we both knew, managed to upset their orderly, defended world so that they tended to lash out, confused and angry. I remember sitting with Meredith in the family living room after school, bored and fidgeting on the maroon velveteen sofa, while she engaged in spirited but severely edited conversation with her mother. I hungered for the moment when we could both sprint upstairs to her bedroom and talk about the important stuff, our feelings, our friends, our impressions. Her younger brothers, affable enough in their own ways, were miniature versions of their father—impatient with any sign of vulnerability or sentiment, quick to make fun of our “girly” concerns, patronizingly confident in their superior sense of logic. So I became the keeper of Meredith’s inner life. I knew everything worth knowing about her. She trusted me with secrets: which boys she had crushes on, how much her parents paid for their beach house, when she’d bought her first box of tampons, what kind of cigarettes her little brother Teddy hid in his backpack. We spent the night at each other’s houses, where we read bits of our diaries aloud to one another, or analyzed the dance we’d gone to the weekend before. Later, we sat in coffee shops recounting the first thrilling, confusing dates with boys. Though no one could have pried it out of me, I always knew exactly what Meredith weighed and what she wished she weighed, what she ate for breakfast on weekdays (fresh orange juice, cinnamon toast and one scrambled egg), what kind of nightgown she wore to bed (pink flannel, with a ribbon down the
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front) and which of her brothers had gotten to second base with the prettiest cheerleader on the squad (Teddy definitely, and possibly Roger as well, though he might’ve been bragging). Most private of all, I knew she still slept with Harry, her teddy bear from second grade, through her senior year in high school. After graduation Meredith went off to a reputable Eastern college. I assumed she’d find new friends to share her life, as I did. By mid-year, however, I realized she still saved every last important scrap of news for our phone calls. Meredith’s dorm mates had no idea she was still a virgin, nor did they find out when she’d stopped being one, but I, her trusted ally, got the red-letter news the very next morning. I heard about the dope she smoked during her junior semester abroad, and the hospital stay in Belgium when she came down with mono. I alone was the keeper of the secret of her three-week romance with her English professor after she returned to campus, and thus the one privileged to offer solace when he only gave her a B on her mid-terms, leaving her teary and furious. In some ways our friendship was never quite an equal exchange. Meredith was a more enthusiastic talker than listener and occasionally seemed as opinionated as her parents on matters she knew little about. But I enjoyed listening and took pleasure in her confidence in me. I valued her politics, her intelligence, her commitment to making the world better. She was generous in all the important ways, choosing to pursue a low-paying career working with inner-city kids, despite her Ivy League education. The bond between us held fast through the years, in part because when differences surfaced, we hastened to overlook them. Did it honestly matter that Meredith always disapproved of my boyfriends? That she loved daytime soap operas and paperback murder mysteries, and I couldn’t stand them? That she loved routines and plans, and they made me feel claustrophobic? Possibly we weren’t on the same page, but surely we were reading the same books. We were both humanists, feminists. We gave money to Planned
One Last Heart-to-Heart
Parenthood and subscribed to Ms. Magazine. We would no sooner have neglected to vote than we would have forgotten how to drive. Hurray for us—two emancipated women fairly dripping with potential, both of whom had managed to escape the confines of suburbia, the drowsy sameness that made her mother feel safe and my own mother angry. I was sorry that I missed Meredith’s wedding. By then I’d moved to California, and the long flight back wasn’t possible, but I sent hearty congratulations along with a gift. I felt almost as if I knew Alan by then. He couldn’t have guessed the embarrassing amount of detail Meredith provided by phone to me while they’d lived together the previous year— his physical attributes and quirks, his paranoia about all things creepycrawly, his nicknames for her private parts and hers for his. She’d told me how they first met, the way they’d sneaked out together like delinquents playing hooky, mesmerized by one another, heading back to her hotel together on the initial day of the statewide teachers’ conference. Alan was a funny, wonderful storyteller and had taught her to salsa. He drank old fashioneds, liked jigsaw puzzles and wanted children soon, exactly like Meredith. He loved her zaftig physique and her artwork and her little brothers. He respected her. Didn’t he? Meredith withheld one key detail, which accidentally surfaced years later when she visited me in California and happened to mention a men’s group Alan had briefly attended. One minute we’d been standing in front of my fireplace with teacups, laughing; the next, I felt faint and had to sit down. In our frequent phone calls or visits with one another over the years, I’d been certain she’d relayed nearly everything important about her new life. Except this, now: that Alan had hit her. He hit her when they lived together, he hit her after they were married. He promised to stop, and then he hit her again when she was pregnant for the first time.
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How could my independent, feminist friend have stayed with him? She never considered leaving him for an instant; it was clear from herITdescription. I READ IT, LIVE thought I knew her so well—weren’t we COLLAGE both enlightened womenITwho wouldn’t MAKE PAPER WITHinITa partstand for anyAform of HAT violence A PACKAGE WITHHadn’t IT nership, LINE verbal or physical? we talked about safe houses and women’s MAKE A BOOK COVER rights over PAPIER and over? She IT was describMÂCHÉ ing a series SAVE of arguments IT, LOAN ITso primitive and abusive, I could feel my jaw tighten. And then, smiling, she discussed Alan’s problem as if it were merely an annoying habit that he’d given up, like smoking.
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Please the did advertisers make possible. “Did he hurt support you? What you do?”who I tried andit failed to keep the shock from my voice. She leaned back on the couch pillows and talked on, soothingly, if I was the one who’d been hurt, not her. With deepening sadness, I listened to her minimize the years of her battering, which she glibly ascribed to his less-than-stellar childhood. “It’s just the way he was raised,” she told me calmly. “He always apologized.” I saw so much in her face that night—love for Alan, love for me, the insistent seductive tug of denial. Behind her easy smile, a quiet sorrow for the way she had hidden so much from her conversations with me already, and how she’d be forced to edit everything she told me from this point on. She was now the keeper of Alan’s secrets. She could no longer afford to tell me her own. We finished our tea and watched the fire before us die down, embers sparking and falling like old stars. The quiet and the listening darkness healed something inside us, just for a little bit. So we stayed there, separate, wordless, late into the night, two wounded warriors sitting back to rest beside an unfamiliar road.
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Stacy Appel is an award-winning writer in California whose work has been featured in the Chicago Tribune and other publications. She has also written for National Public Radio and is a contributor to the book You Know You’re a Writer When…. Contact Stacy at WordWork101@aol.com. skirt.com
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Art by Karen Greenberg 28 
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As a surprise for her daddy, Chase, her cousin A.J., and a crowd of well-wishers donned “Coach Chris
Chase Crist and A.J. Lynn
Kicks Kidney Cancer” shirts to show support during Relay for Life. “One and a half years ago, my daddy was diagnosed with cancer,” Chase explains. “He went to Duke, a place of miracles, where they removed two thirds of his right kidney. He’s now doing great!” Rising seventh graders at Blue Ridge Middle, Chase enjoys horseback riding and reading while A.J. likes designing clothes and playing the violin. Both girls are ace soccer players—thanks to Coach Chris.
“We wanted to be there for him. A.J. Lynn (L) and Chase Crist (R)
Photo by Sheril Bennett Turner
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1 2 “This cheerful handpainted beverage dispenser from Inside Out at Home would make drinking even water a party! What a great piece of summer flair!” Kathryn, Sales Executive
“Pair this gorgeous necklace with a sundress for the perfect summertime look! It’s from MLC Findings in Spartanburg.” Angela, Director of Sales
“My daughter’s favorite wallet by Orla Kiely just bit the dust, so I’m sending her a replacement. Unless I keep it for myself.” (orlakiely.com) Nikki, skirt! Publisher
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TWENTY-FOUR SEVEN WITH...
Jodi Drury | More Than Skin Deep Occupation: Co-owner of skinkare Laser Hair & Skin Solutions.
My mother always said: “Always wear clean underwear.” and “Only at nighttime.”
I still can’t get the hang of: coordination, moderation, op-art, Jeopardy.
My blog/website: skinkare.com
The oddest job I’ve held: Installer of underground fencing for dogs.
I wish I’d known: …earlier in life the happiness and the peace you get by having a personal relationship with God.
My passion right now: Helping others. My nickname: Jodums and Sister BrokenSeal. My guilty pleasure: Licking the brownie bowl. My best friends say I’m: loving, caring, giving and loyal. I asked.
Favorite restaurant: Waino’s Lobster Dock, New Harbor, Maine. One thing people don’t know about me: I have an extensive collection of exercise equipment in my attic. The worst idea I’ve ever had: To buy the exercise equipment.
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My favorite feminist: ANYONE who ETHICALLY promotes equality for women. Read more at greenville.skirt.com
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This issue of skirt! was put together to the sounds of: I Learned the Hard Way Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings Niña de Fuego Buika I Speak Because I Can Laura Marling Court Yard Hounds Court Yard Hounds
Honor the women who have made a difference in your life by putting them on the digital map at the International Museum of Women site. For Women on the Map, click Resources at imow.org.
Click In Appalachia, 470 living mountains have been blown up and destroyed for coal. Chances are mountaintop removal turns on the lights in your house. Go to ilovemountains.org/tv-ad to find out and to help stop the destruction in favor of alternative sources of energy.
Page Turners The Absence of Anyone Else Amy L. Alley
Grace, a struggling single mother and artist, is torn between memories of her bohemian life in Asheville with her son’s father, and her fantasies, which include her best friend Daniel and a successful career as an artist. A smooth insightful read by a local first-time novelist.
Learn TestMyBrain.org was designed by two Harvard labs as part of a study to help researchers better understand how the brain works. Take the series of online tests (which are actually fun) and get individualized feedback on your personality and aptitudes.
Sheril Bennett Turner, Editor
Visit Before you move, find out the walkability of specific neighborhoods at walkscore.com and then add your name to the petition to Congress to support walking and biking in the 2010 Transit Bill.
Bookmark If you’ve always wanted to take your yoga home after class, 30 Days of Yoga is a unique online program designed to support you beginning or restarting a regular practice in your own home. Visit marianne-elliott.com/yoga for details about the options she offers.
TougH gIrLS Fabulous Fergie Independent Women Part I Destiny’s Child Born to be Bad The Runaways There are Worse Things I Could Do Stockard Channing Invincible Pat Benatar
“I’ve read all his books and can’t wait to start this one.
Julyplaylist
Spies of the Balkans Alan Furst
Spies of the Balkans is Alan Furst’s latest atmospheric, noirish novel set on the eve of WWII. I’ve read all his books and can’t wait to start this one. Nikki Hardin, Publisher
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planetnikki [ a visual journal ]
Since Rabbit is a symbol of rebirth, I wear my new ring on the same hand as my koru tattoo.
“skirts wanted” Dear Diary, I find writing and exercise painful. I’m snobbish about spelling and grammar. I’m afraid of donating an organ while I’m still alive. I’m salty, not sweet. I’m flats on the outside, stillettos on the inside. I’m not nice in the morning. I make up secret nicknames for everyone I know. Jealousy is my besetting sin. I hate underwear...it’s so stupid. I waste reams of time playing Whack-a-Word online. I don’t like to stand next to women my age who don’t show their age—am I the only wrinkled woman left on the planet? I’m scared of worms and other mucous creatures on nature shows. When I wear a hat, I look like Mr. Potato Head. Why do pedestrian lights mostly feature men as the Walk symbol? I wish I were one of the rich people I bitch about. Sometimes I want to bite people’s heads off, but I already have too few friends. I can’t afford to lose any. Seersucker cracks me up. So does life, when it’s not cracking me open.
Instead of stirring paint with these paddles, I paint them and write “what if” and “WTF” thoughts on them.
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Every time I open the doors of this retablo by Peruvian folk artist Nicario Jimenez, I hear music. (retablosnicario.com)
I think I know who will be getting these cards from whitehottruth.com.
for the snake, and I fell for the design of this label. skirt.com
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Don’t buy cheap clothes. Buy good clothes,
cheap.
now carrying maternity and plus size clothing Greenville’s designer consignment boutique. Located in McDaniel Village with Panera Bread and Coplon’s
1922 Augusta Street | 864.631.1919 | M-F 10-6, Sat. 10-5 | www.labelsonaugusta.com