Greenville, SC
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all about women...their work, play, families, creativity, style, health and wealth, bodies and souls. skirt! is an attitude...spirited, independent, outspoken, serious, playful and irreverent, sometimes controversial, always passionate.
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Interview with Eve Lilith got fed up with Adam’s bossiness and left him. And then he got me and you know the rest…Adam never had much luck with women. * Don’t get me started on those fig leaves…guess who got stuck with the laundry from Day One? *
While
Adam snored, the snake and I stayed up to schmooze. And believe me, he knew all the dirt in the Garden.
That apple?
Adam never let me live it down. No matter what went wrong, he was like, “If you hadn’t eaten that apple blah blah blah...” Let me set the record straight… Adam and I have the same number of ribs. *
All I can say about Cain is that one
day I was in Paradise and the next I was raising a rotten apple.
Am I bitter?
How would you like to go down in history as “the devil’s gateway”? *
“Adam and Eve” and a sex toy business comes up first. We just can’t catch a break in the media.
Do I regret the apple?
No, but your first one is always the most
D e l i c i o u s ! Cover art by Louis St. Lewis
“Women never have young minds. They are born three thousand years old.” Shelagh Delaney
Ladies Night Out Best Friends, Great Food, Cocktails, Gossip‌
The first Monday of every month is just for the Ladies, your night includes a fourcourse fondue experience with two drinks for one low price.
Ladies Night Out!
475 Haywood Road, Greenville 864-297-5035 Reservations recommended. Fondue coast to coast. Locally owned and operated. meltingpot.com
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June
2009greenville
Skirt.com
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Over 70 stores • I-85 to Exit 90 primeoutlets.com/gaffney June
2009greenville
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June
2009greenville
Skirt.com
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june
F ind more skir t! even ts on lin e at g reenville .s k ir t . c o m / eve n t
sunday
monday
tuesday
wednesday 4
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June Challenge :
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Make a list of things you don’t regret even though they might not have had happy endings...keep taking chances.
The summer session of Girls on the Run & Girls on Track takes place at the Greenville Life Center Health & Conditioning Club. The program combines training for a 3.1-mile race with esteemenhancing workouts for girls ages 8-15. 864.455.3252.
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Summer Solstice “Great is the sun, and wide he goes Through empty heaven without repose; And in the blue and glowing days More thick than rain he showers his rays.� (From “The Summer Sun,� by Robert Louis Stevenson)
funday
7.9
The 4th annual Greenville Scottish Games features the Great Scot! Parade and Ceilidh downtown on Friday and Highland games at Furman University on Saturday. greenvillegames.org.
The annual BI-LO Charity Classic will be held in Greenville, SC this year. Sign up today for the nation’s largest one-day golf tournament and other events. Learn more about the charities it supports by visiting bi-locharityclassic.com.
STOMP, the international sensation, is making its triumphant return to Greenville.For show times, go to peacecenter.org.
Blisschick.net recommends picking 6.38 something super hard you know The Greenville Little Theatre presents Carousel, you should be doing or not do- Rodgers and Hammerstein’s magical, beguiling, and hopeful musical story of a carnival barker who ing and committing makes a mess out of his life, but receives a “heavenly� to it for the next second chance. greenvillelittletheatre.com. 100 days.
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Make plans now to attend the Keith Urban “Escape Together World Tour� at the Bi-Lo Center. Featuring special guest SUGARLAND. bilocenter.com.
;d]RW ^U cWT <^]cW Take a Ploughmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lunch to work....slices of cheddar cheese on thick bread. Add mustard and ripe tomato slices or go wild with fig jam and sweet onions. Simple but sensational.
saturday
Gsjebz!6.7
6.8
Turn off technology, turn on your senses. Start a container garden. Stir up a new dish for dinner. Stretch your muscles on an early morning walk.
26.2:
thursday
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The BIG day is almost here! Make plans now to attend Wedding Festivals at the Carolina First Center. For more information, visit weddingfestivals.com or carolinafirstcenter.com.
South Carolina Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Theatre presents Willy Wonka, the timeless story of the eccentric candy maker and his quest to find an heir for his chocolate factory. Visit scchildrenstheatre.org or peacecenter.org for more info.
22.38 Join Centre Stage when they present The Dining Room, a mosaic of interrelated scenes that are both hilarious and touching played out in the dining room of a â&#x20AC;&#x153;typicalâ&#x20AC;? well-to-do household. centerstage.org.
29 This month the Caleb Groupâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s monthly film discussion series, Movies Worth Talking About, will feature the Golden Globe winner The Painted Veil. Admission is free at Camelot Cinemas. 864.787.4566.
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If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re feeling earth-bound by pedestrian pursuits, rent Man on Wire about Philippe Petitâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s breathtaking tightrope walk between the World Trade Center towers. It will remind you that we all need a passion.
36 Bill Maher Live at the Peace Center! The star of HBOâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Real Time with Bill Maher brings his acerbic wit for a hilarious stand-up comedy show that will have all of Greenville talking. peacecenter.org.
Add a Bookmark Created by a librarian in the UK, myfirstdictionary. blogspot.com is wickedly, wonderfully funny.
Lunch box from themacbethcollection.com, 250 patterns available.
Skirt.com
June
2009greenville
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from the publisher
the Eve issue Fifteen years ago this month, the first issue of skirt! was published in Charleston, SC and 180 issues later,
skirt! & you
cover artist Louis St. Lewis was the perfect choice for The Eve Issue this month, as his celebrated mixed-media collages are frequently based on the intersection of mythology and religion. Andy Warhol commented that Louis’s work was “like Hieronymus Bosch meets MTV!” With over 30 national and international solo exhibitions to his credit, Louis’s creations are in the collections of such notables as HRH The Prince of Kuwait, Christian LaCroix, André Leon Talley and Oprah Winfrey. His artwork is also found in numerous museum collections, including the Ogden Museum of Southern Art, the New Orleans Museum of Art, the Morris Museum and the Masur Museum. This fall, Louis teams up with Sean Yseult, artist and female bass player of White Zombie fame, for a collaborative show, “Pretty Babies,” at New Orleans’ Canary Gallery. For more information, visit myspace.com/louisstlewis or email louisstlewis@gmail.com.
Let us know what’s on your mind, respond to an article, or give us info on an upcoming event. Send letters or press releases to sheril.turner@ skirt.com, or mail to skirt! Greenville, 1708-C Augusta St. #335, Greenville, SC 29605.
We are always looking for new writers and artists. Our guidelines for writers and artists are available online at skirt.com. Submit artwork or essays via e-mail to submissions@skirt.com.
skirt.com & you Crowd Pleaser Join the fastest growing group of creative bloggers, become a skirt!setter today! Sign up at skirt.com/skirtsetter.
we’ve gone from clueless baby to crazy
We’ve been imitated enough to make
teenager, from one city to 15, from
us throw around a few F-bombs and
being called “feminazis” to redefining
then vow to be so original the copycats
feminism in our own way. There have
wouldn’t be able to keep up because,
been a succession of firsts since we
yes, we’re proudly competitive. We’ve
started, but unfortunately, women are
been through weddings and funerals,
still coming in last in far too many areas.
births and breakups, housewarmings
We never imagined we’d come so close
and happy hours with each other.
to having the first woman president
The stories we could tell are side-
back then, but we also never imagined
splitting and heartwarming, sometimes
we’d have an all-male state senate here
heartbreaking and occasionally
in South Carolina in 2009. Ladies, there
infuriating, but we’d have to leave
is work to be done everywhere there’s
town and change our names in order to
a skirt!. The women we’ve profiled,
write that book. Unlike Eve’s fig leaf,
partied with and politicked with are
fashioned from shame, our skirt! is a
nothing less than astounding—why
badge of honor, a red flag in the face
don’t they rule the world? The men who
of political bull, a call to action. Next
have had the cojones to appear in skirt!
month, we’re starting a new feature
wearing skirts are the kind we’d all like
on how ordinary women can make a
to have for best friends (or take home at
difference in the world, ways to wear
the end of the night).
a skirt! attitude every day. Send your ideas to publisher@skirt.com, and they might be included in a future issue. In the meantime, the Champagne is chilling
nikki
and so are we. After all, it’s not every day you turn 15—and part of a skirt!
Special Delivery
attitude is knowing when to party.
skirt! has two new localized emails launching. Sign up with your local skirt! today.
from the editor In elementary school I devoured every book written, for fifth graders at least, on Greek and Roman Mythology. I couldn’t get enough of the adventures of the seemingly superhuman heroes, descended from the gods, who with bravery and courage fought all sorts of monsters, mayhem, and mischief, often sacrificing themselves to save the day. In this issue we feature three local Sheroes—modern day female equivalents of heroes—who were nominated by our skirt! readers. Each of these Sheroes is unique, but they all have two things in common. One—they inspire others with their courage, kindness, determination, and strength and Two—they are, in true Shero fashion, definitely divine.
sheril sheril.turner@skirt.com
skirt.com Visit Us! 6
June
2009greenville
Skirt.com
dearskirt!
A RELAXING ONE -HO U R MASSAGE :
I’ve been enjoying your magazine for about a year now, but I would like to see more articles and features about older women. We’re not all skinny,
...I get excited because I know what I will find on the inside: a sense of fun that often seems to be lacking in everyday life bursting from the pages...
beautiful young things running around living enchanted lives. Some of us are kind of ordinary-looking and just trying to cope with job loss, disinterested husbands, and lots of physical as well as emotional changes as we grow older. Maybe this isn’t the type of features your magazine would be interested in, but for the thousands of baby-boomers out there, I know I’m not alone in my thinking. Thanks for listening, Elaine Starnes West Columbia, SC
Every time I see a new issue of skirt!, I recently came across skirt! magazine, the April 2009 Greenville issue.Just wanted to pass along my liking of the article written by JessicaValenti, “Prude, Unprotected or just Untrue.” It was nice to see such issues and concerns being discussed here. Keep up the great work! Thanks! Stephanie Lawson Greenville, SC
I’ve just enjoyed reading April’s edition of skirt!, two weeks after picking it up at the café on the pier in Folly Beach, South Carolina. We’re now back in Dundee, Scotland and I’ve only now found the time to empty my flight bag, re-discover skirt! and enjoy the contents. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the articles, artwork and inspirational cartoon pages. I wish we had such an innovative monthly here. Well done! Kind regards and best wishes,
I get excited because I know what I will find on the inside: a sense of fun that often seems to be lacking in everyday life bursting from the pages through vibrant graphics and stories. skirt! is cheerful, relatable and smart, and it makes me happy by pointing toward small, good things in my surroundings that I’d not noticed before. Lydia Hignite Birmingham, AL
This magazine has set the bar for content and style so high that even the most expensive magazines can’t compete.
Fiona Moodie Dundee, Scotland
So you pick up a copy of a complimentary publication and expect it to be so-so at best, right? Not so with skirt!. This magazine has set the bar for content and style so high that even the most expensive magazines can’t compete. I live for the essays. And I never thought I’d say this about ads, but I even enjoy looking at and reading the
badgirl
makes it even more enjoyable. Excellent Libbye Morris Durham, NC
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Have an opinion? Email your editor. All letters to the editor must include the writer’s name and city/state.
*Valid for first one hour session which consists of a 50-minute massage and time for consultation and dressing. Prices subject to change. Rates and services may vary by location. Additional local taxes and fees may apply. © 2009 Massage Envy Limited, LLC.
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June
2009greenville
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2009greenville
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Traci Daberko is an illustrator and graphic designer in Seattle, WA. See her work at www.daberkodesign.com.
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June
2009greenville
9
Was I tempting fate and asking for trouble, or giving my oldest daughter the trust and responsibility she has thus far proven ready for, and soon will have to own up to, ready or not? Stephanie Hunt
10
June
2009greenville
Skirt.com
Garden Party
Sixteen years have come to this: a weekend away for Mom and Dad, and no babysitter. For the first overnight occasion ever, I did not hire or otherwise impose upon a responsible adult to call the shots, clean the pans and pots and enforce bedtime in my absence. This time, as my husband and I loaded up our books, a bottle of wine, his guitar and my laptop and headed out for 40 hours of R&R, I gave my 16-year-old, the oldest, the car keys, a credit card and a stern look. “I love you. Call us if you need us,” I said, while the arch in my eyebrows silently underscored, “Don’t blow it.” I had equivocated over whether this was a wise move, or if my desperation for a weekend of parental responsibility detox was making me totally irresponsible. I spent sleepless hours playing out various disastrous scenarios; I repeated my “not my child” mantra as friends readily chimed in with So-and-so’s teenager-on-the-loose horror tales—predictable accounts of booze and pot and sneaking around. Was I tempting fate and asking for trouble, or giving my oldest daughter the trust and responsibility she has thus far proven ready for, and soon will have to own up to, ready or not? I stocked the fridge, alerted the neighbors to “Threat Level Orange” and kissed my girls, leaving them to do what they would with their Macaulay Culkin moment. In about 30 minutes my husband and I had arrived at our favorite local getaway—a mod inn nestled amidst tall pines and glossy magnolias on 700 acres of National Historic Landmark property along the Ashley River. On one side of the inn are flooded rice fields, a soggy wilderness where gators tutor me in the art of prehistoric laziness, and herons and anhingas, their wet wings stretched out like laundry on the line, model grace and patience. On the other side of the inn is an elegant plantation boasting “America’s Oldest Landscaped Gardens.” Inn guests have open access to the plantation grounds, so my husband and I go early and linger after hours, avoiding tourists and considering it our own secret garden. Wandering through mazes of prized camellias and azaleas, sitting quietly by the cryptic black water of a cypress pond, we recharge our relationship and recalibrate our inner bearings. This is our Eden—and amidst cool birdsong mornings and raucous bull- and tree-frog concerts at dusk, we feel like the sole beneficiaries of the lush, unruly beauty that surrounds us. I am Eve in running shorts, and he is Adam with a camera. And we are hoping, dear God, that Cain is not home killing Abel. What I do on these weekends is what I rarely do at home. Here I sit and watch. I walk and listen. I dangle in a hammock for two hours and read. Two hours!! My engine idles as my senses accelerate, and I see things. An inchworm that rappels down from a limb eight feet up and lands on the ground beside me, beginning a journey to who knows where. A leech slinking along the silty, mucky bottom of a pond, above it a galaxy of minuscule critters skating on the water’s dark surface. I hear things—like the low-frequency rumbling growl, guttural and grizzly-like, of the alligator we never saw but must have wandered too close to. I realize that Eden is not some mythic wonderland glazed in shiny concepts of Good and Evil. This Eden isn’t about innocence or the shameful loss thereof, but about awareness. It’s about slowing down enough to notice a leech (have I ever seen a leech before?) or the color of a Granny Smith apple. Hell yes, my Eden urges me, take a bite, a big juicy bite of the amazingness that blooms, crawls, flies and tethers itself to tangled vines. How else can I fully taste the good earth’s delights? How else can I tune in to the wonders, dangers and bewildering liveliness that implore me to pay attention, to live livelier. On this particular trip, I realize that my children and I are in parallel universes, mirrored gardens. Mine entices me to relinquish and reorder responsibilities, at least for a little while, so I can rediscover my basic creaturely truth—that I am a tiny player in an enormously complex world, much of it unfolding and carrying on, inchworm by inchworm, regardless of my decisions. Meanwhile I’ve ushered my girls through a heavy iron gate into another garden, one where they must shoulder responsibility and confront freedom, and where (I tell them time and again) big things like their Future ride on the decisions they make. We returned home to three happy, well-fed, wet-haired girls, fresh from a post-swim shower. They did great in our absence, the only party (that I’m aware of) was a tea party they had in our backyard complete with our blue china teapot and warm chocolate chip cookies—two sweet teenagers indulging their eight-year-old little sister. They are still innocent enough, and my job, I realize, isn’t to coddle a cozy naivete, but to be awake, to be aware. To revel in garden parties, however tame or tempting. And be ready. Stephanie Hunt is a South Carolina-based freelance writer, whose essays, features and profiles appear in numerous regional, national and online publications. She’s ready for another weekend away. Comments welcomed at stephaniehuntwrites.com.
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“The wonderful packaging of
KalaStyle statement soaps seduced me into ordering, but it turns out the soap is great, too.” Nikki, skirt! Publisher
welove 2
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June
3 “This amazing cream from SkinKare is like turning back time . . . goodbye fine lines and wrinkles!” Angela, Director of Sales
2009greenville
“These stackable boxes from Patina on the Alley in Seneca make a fabulous hiding spot for loose mail, magazines, and even children’s toys!” Kathryn, Sales Executive
Skirt.com
“This Columbia OmniShade Straw Bucket Hat from Mast General Store caught my eye—think flapper meets Gilligan.” Sheril, Editor
“The hair accessories from Andrea’s Beau are sweet and bright—just like my daughters. With more grown up options on their website, I dare say the whole household will be blooming this summer!” Caitilin, National Art Director
4
WJFX!QPJOUT
“I have found men who didn’t know how to kiss. I’ve always found time to teach them.” Mae West
Skirt.com
June
2009greenville
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she’ssoskirt Interviewed by Jessica Leigh Lebos, skirt!Savannah
Boj!EjGsbodp!}!Hsbnnz!xjoofs!}!jdpo!}!joejf!nvtjdjbo!}!npn [because she star ted her own record company at 19] [ b e c a u s e s h e w a s n a m e d a Wo m a n o f C o u r a g e b y N OW ] [because she continues to inspire]
It’s been 20 years since the
“...has held fast to her do-it-yourself roots, signature staccato guitar style and fearless political stances.
Buffalo, NY native released her first self-titled cassette on her own Righteous Babe Records, and 19 albums later (including 2008’s Red
audiences, and she has
Letter Year), Ani DiFranco
long championed repro-
has held fast to her do-it-
ductive freedom and GLBT
yourself roots, signature
rights from the stage as well
staccato guitar style and
as through her Righteous
fearless political stances.
Babe Foundation. She
“The personal is political,”
admits her prolific songwrit-
the self-titled “lil’
ing has slowed since giving
folksinger” reminds her
birth to her daughter, Petah Lucia, in 2007, but says the work of motherhood has only deepened her commitment to raising the consciousness of the culture. “I think the initial work of feminism has been very successful in this country. Women enjoy liberties here that they don’t in most of the world. Now I think it’s time to evolve the definition of feminism to mean the salvation of humankind— and there’s still so much work to be done.”
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June
2009greenville
Skirt.com
it’sashame
skirt!alerts
Tqfbl
@ Plan B, an emergency contraceptive, will now be available without a
prescription to 17-year-
to youth in a language
olds. The U.S. District
they understand.
Court for the Eastern
Love.fútbol develops
District of New York
safe and simple soccer
held that under President
fields in impoverished
Bush, the FDA had been
@ A pageant official
communities
improperly influenced by
at the Miss California
worldwide.
politics in its decision-
Organization confirmed
lovefutbol.org
making surrounding
that the group paid for
Xbudi
Miss California Carrie
Plan B.
Prejean’s breast implants,
Justice Without
A University of Arizona
inserted only weeks
Borders, a documen-
biologist Anna Himler has
before she competed in
tary by Amnesty
been studying a unique
Miss USA in April.
International about
group of Amazonian ants:
the push for progress
They are all female and
A After nine Senegalese
and justice around
reproduce via cloning.
AIDS activists were freed
the world. It’s only 37
The lack of males
from prison terms, a mob
minutes, so consider
apparently gives the
hosting a viewing party
females more time and
and kill the men. A local
with fellow global-
energy to cultivate some
youth leader was quoted
thinking friends.
of the most elaborate
saying, “The homosexuals
amnestyusa.org
forms of ant agriculture
will not escape lynching.
ever studied.
They will be fish food.”
Tvsg
gathered to hunt down
for brainspiration.The
B Britain’s first woman
B A study shows that
Big Think is a global
in the 341-year history
websites with sexual
forum connecting
of the office of poet
health information for
experts and the little
laureate, Carol Ann Duffy,
teens, including highly
people. Expand on and
is also the first openly gay
trafficked destinations
share ideas about top-
laureate. After thinking
such as Wikipedia and
ics from the Supreme
“long and hard” about
mayoclinic.com, are often
Court to the purpose
taking the position, she
“riddled with errors and
of prayer. bigthink.com
gave the final decision to
omissions.” About half of
her 13-year-old daughter,
the sites failed to provide
who said, “Yes mummy,
accurate information
there’s never been a
about emergency
woman.”
contraception—for instance, many sites did not correct the myth that EC causes an abortion.
Skirt.com
June
2009greenville
MY SHERO
Judge Debora Faulkner | Humanitarian & Humorist “I would like to nominate Greenville County Probate Judge Debora Faulkner as my Shero. Not only has she distinguished her court as user-friendly, she is a great public speaker dedicated to legal system education. During her three terms, Debora was also a caregiver for her deceased father, assisted her sister in recovery from breast cancer, and beat her own bout with breast cancer. She proudly serves on the board of the Upstate Affiliate of Susan G. Komen.” ~Nominated by Ellie Summerton, Laurens, SC Debora giggles when giving me the skinny on legal lingo bloopers—they are not the probation office and they don’t take urine samples—and the Squidbillies. But this down-to-earth judge is downright serious about her work. “I see Sheros every day—women taking care of husbands with dementia, moms appointed as guardians for adult children with head injuries, women providing the glue that keeps families together.” Photo by Sheril Bennett Turner
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June
2009greenville
Skirt.com
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Skirt.com
June
2009greenville
17
MY SHERO
Jill Sikkelee | Selfless and Strong Jill is my Shero for the sheer number of superhero outfits she wears with grace! She’s the mother of five children. She’s an athlete, riding for Team GHS Every Woman and training for an Ironman. She’s a mentor and a friend to many women. Oh, and she works full time! ~Nominated by Elizabeth Brady, Spartanburg, SC “I’ve always admired Sacagawea,” Jill says. “Here’s a woman who wasn’t even treated as an equal to men and yet she led them through the wilderness, she cooked their food, and she trapped, all with a baby on her back. Women today have it made in comparison!” Jill will represent today’s woman in a full Ironman challenge in Barcelona on October 4th of this year. Photo by Sheril Bennett Turner
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June
2009greenville
Skirt.com
For the June Bride....
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June
2009greenville
19
MY SHERO
Claudia Freidank | Naturally Nurturing Long after my Shero has clocked out of work as a NICU nurse, she takes on a new role as caretaker for my Grandmother, her Mom. Through her I’ve learned how to become a strong and powerful woman and have truly learned what family is really about. I am proud to call my aunt, Claudia Freidank, my Shero. ~Nominated by Kristina Moos, Mauldin, SC Oddly enough, Claudia’s Shero was her aunt, also a nurse and the caretaker for Claudia’s own grandmother. “I can still see my Aunt Jeruth getting ready for work with her starched white uniform, polished clinic shoes, her little navy blue cape, and her jaunty little cap. She was a really good person.” Photo by Sheril Bennett Turner
20
June
2009greenville
Skirt.com
“When was the last time you gave your copier a standing ovation”?
Konica Minolta’s Tuxedo Line TAKES A BOW! Call Nancy King to discover how to make your office applaud!
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2009greenville
21
HE’S SO ORIGINAL
Dr. Roger Rhoades has a gift for guidance. As a licensed professional counselor and an authority on marriage, family, and relationships, Roger knows what side his bread is buttered when it comes to his own home life. “My wife Suzanne is the best. It’s got to be hard to live with an Okie extrovert and raise two children at the same time.” When this ex-Okie turned Greenvillite isn’t writing books (Living in the Moment), appearing on talk shows (Oprah, Montel Williams, Rickie Lake, and The View, to name a few), or serving as Senior Therapist at the P.A.C.E. Center in Spartanburg, he can usually be found chillin’ at home with the “rat dog” or shagging the night away with Suzanne. What’s your favorite thing about reading skirt!? “You have real people writing from their heart and soul about real life issues.” What’s the best thing about wearing a skirt? “It is important not to take yourself so seriously. Man + Skirt = Funny.” Photo by Susie Wallace
22
June
2009greenville
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15 23
“Nature gives you the face you have at twenty. Life shapes the face you have at thirty. But at fifty you get the face you deserve.” Coco Chanel
“The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always asked to do things, and you are not yet decrepit enough to turn them down.” T.S. Eliot
tiftbje hesaid
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June
2009greenville
Skirt.com
I don’t know if it was the Walt Disney classics or our Mama who led us to believe that there was one special man out there who would fulfill our every need and ensure that we live happily ever after.
E
Libbye Morris
very Thursday afternoon, you could find Hazel and Violet Edwards, single sisters in their 50s, sitting in Dr. MacDonald’s small downtown office. Once a week, the optometrist traveled from a bigger town 60 miles away to see patients in our little village of about 1,000 people in rural New Mexico. Hazel and Violet only had an appointment with Dr. MacDonald once a year, like the rest of us. But they enjoyed visiting with the locals who were a captive audience in the waiting room until it was their turn to see the doctor. While chatting, the sisters multitasked by crocheting doilies for senior girls, months in advance of the spring high-school graduation each year. Of course, people thought they were strange and pitiful, especially us teenagers. My own Mama used to encourage my sisters and me to find a husband as early as possible, admonishing us, “Don’t turn out like Hazel and Violet Edwards!” As if being an old maid was the worst thing that could happen. Little did I know that I would encounter fates much worse, including everything from unfulfilling or one-sided relationships to abusive ones. But now my sister and I have turned into Violet and Hazel Edwards. And we love the freedom. After four miserable years of marriage, I got divorced in 2005. And after 25 years of both happy and miserable times, my sister is getting divorced, too. She moved in with me about a month ago. Now we’re realizing that Violet and Hazel Edwards were way before their time. While most of the women in our hometown spent all of their time, energy and resources tending to children and mostly-ungrateful men, Hazel and Violet were growing a vegetable garden, eating an occasional lunch at the local café, volunteering their time at the nursing home, baking cakes for elderly shut-ins, babysitting for younger neighbors so that they could attend local events, gallivanting to the nearby town to shop the department-store sales and (gasp!) taking in an occasional movie at the theater. My sister and I are having a blast doing our own thing. She keeps marveling at how she can go to bed early if she wants, without having to apologize or explain. And he’s not there at 3am, hounding her for sex like she’s a vending
machine. We take turns cooking for each other, and the one who doesn’t cook washes the dishes. She is grateful that I wash the dishes, and I am grateful that she cooks. When we clean the house, it stays clean longer. And instead of the five loads of laundry that she was doing each week, there is only one load between the two of us. That leaves time for going to festivals, concerts, plays and movies, eating out, checking in on elderly neighbors, walking our dogs on a nearby trail, watching Lifetime Television Network (with no one in the background screaming that it’s stupid), reading books (without a man complaining that he’s being ignored), and buying a new pair of shoes (without having to sneak the bag in). Oh, and belting out Beyoncé’s “Single Ladies” every chance we get. We do not crochet doilies, and we do not hang out at the local optometrist’s office to catch up with our peeps. We have Facebook for that. Times have changed in some ways, but having the opportunity to take care of our own needs is timeless. My sister and I have no children, although we always wanted them, and there is definitely a void there because of it. But the gift in our situation is that we are able to take care of ourselves and each other and enjoy life to the fullest. We will be going to Scotland to visit friends in July, something she could have never done when she was married. I don’t know if it was the Walt Disney classics or our Mama who led us to believe that there was one special man out there who would fulfill our every need and ensure that we live happily ever after. Sure, there are some nice guys out there, but as we all know now, as adults, relationships are hard work, and one person cannot fulfill our every need. And if you don’t have a solid foundation of selfesteem, reciprocal trust and respect and a host of other weapons in your personal arsenal, you end up one of the statistics. Half of us are divorced in this country, and speaking with many of my 40-ish friends about marriage recently tells me that many women who are among the other 50 percent are wishing to God they were single. If you are one of the lucky women who did find a good match, and if you heeded that persistent little voice in your gut that told you when a guy wasn’t right for you (instead of shushing the voice even as you paraded down the aisle in your white dress and faux smile, like I did), then I admire you. Okay, maybe I’m even a little envious. But maybe someone out there actually envies us modern-day spinsters, too. And maybe some of my own mother’s acquaintances secretly envied Violet and Hazel’s freedom and self-awareness back in the 1970s. They were ahead of their time, and despite my mother’s warning, I’m proud to have turned out like them.
Libbye Morris is a freelance writer who lives in Durham. Her writing has been featured in many publications, including The Washington Post, Equus and élan. She is also the senior writer for a consulting firm in Chapel Hill.
Skirt.com
June
2009greenville
25
Voted “most athletic” in her senior class at Blue Ridge High School, Brooke has never met a sport she didn’t like, or wasn’t good at for that matter. As a new graduate she looks back on an illustrious all-star
Brooke Turner
basketball career that will take her to North Greenville University to play ball with the Lady Crusaders, and a winning season as catcher for the Lady Tigers Softball Team (AAA District Champions). Brooke, who also enjoys riding 4-wheelers, wakeboarding, and just spending time with her boyfriend, family, and friends, says if she were a superheroine, she would be Batwoman. “She does have a pretty cool outfit,” she laughs.
“I’m inspired by God and his plans for my life.”
Photo by Sheril Bennett Turner
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June
2009greenville
Skirt.com
Dolce & Gabbana
Vera Wang available at Pearle Vision
Lafont
Caviar
poolparty 1
Acrylic Pitcher & Glasses by October Hill Foxfire Gallery & Kitchen Shops 2222 Augusta St., Greenville 864.242.0742
2
Bikini by Maryan Mehlhorn Finer Things 1803 Augusta St., Greenville 864.232.9577
Oka b. Flip-Flops Dobson Gifts 1407 W. Wade Hampton Blvd., Greer 864.877.1827
3
4
Hooded Towel by Buckhead Betties The Pink Monogram 12 Sevier St., Greenville 864.271.3587
Skirt.com
June
2009greenville
27
7
My favorite possession: My cat, Stedman. Oh wait, I think it’s the other way around. He owns Me.
twenty-four
I’m inspired by: People who aren’t afraid to be themselves. If I were a fictional heroine, I would be: Truman Capote’s Holly Golightly.
The worst idea I’ve ever had: Do you need his name?
The most important thing I ever lost: Myself, in a bad relationship. It happens. Early bird or night owl?: Both. That’s what naps are for! I wish I’d known: Really, if we knew then what we know now, would we have had as much fun?
Right now I’m reading: Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides and Skin Tight by Carl Hiaasen.
with
Favorite color and why?: Brown and black. They go with everything, and if you spill red wine on yourself, no one notices.
Bmmjtpo!Dmbsl
Restaurateur, BIN112, Greer, SC
I’d like to learn to: Scuba dive, tie a fly, sew, swing dance, hold a yoga pose for longer than 30 seconds, speak Italian . . . and the list goes on.
Photo by Blah Blahs Photo by Sheril Bennett Turner
Read more at greenville.skirt.com
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2009greenville
Skirt.com
browse
This issue of skirt! was put together to the sounds of: country e.p. Anaïs Mitchell & Rachel Ries Easy Come, Easy Go Marianne Faithfull
Together Through Life Bob Dylan
My One and Only Thrill Melody Gardot
Page Turners Your Money or Your Life 9 Steps to Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Achieving Financial Independence Vicki Robin & Joe Dominguez
My coworker Julie and I are reading this to try and hang onto our money a little longer. To be extra frugal, we’re sharing one copy. I’m fighting the craving for pink leather sandals from J. Crew, but it’s Julie’s turn with the book. Ka-ching! Nikki Hardin, Publisher
The Day I Ate Whatever I Wanted: And Other Small Acts of Liberation Elizabeth Berg
Even if you’re not obsessed with counting calories and points, you’ll find something to laugh and cry about in this collection of thirteen short stories that explore the female’s fixation on growing old, gaining weight, losing love, and life in general. Sheril Bennett Turner, Editor
At a Glance Like I Give a Frock Michi
Fashion books are usually boring and predictable, but this one is full of wicked personality and winsome illustrations by Kat Macleod.
Skirt.com
June
2009greenville
29
smarts
skirt!
If you planted a garden with high hopes this spring only to have them dashed by Mother Nature, get a head start on next year’s season by putting a Tomato Success Kit at the top of your to-do list. So easy to use, even a complete novice or blackthumbed gardener can turn into a farm girl overnight. The kit comes with
EVERYTHING you’ll need, except the plants (selfwatering planter, steel support cage, container mix, organic fertilizer and red plastic mulch to speed ripening). And if you’re an apartment dweller, you’ll just need a spot on a
“So easy to use, even a complete novice or blackthumbed gardener can turn into a farm girl overnight.
sunny balcony or patio to get growing.
visit gardeners.com
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June
2009greenville
Skirt.com
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Chefs Know: eVS\ Wb Q][Sa b] ร Od]` g]c QO\ยผb PSOb T`SaV W\U`SRWS\ba BVObยผa
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eee 4`SaV=\BVS;S\c Q][
Certi๏ฌ ed South Carolina Grown tomato & basil salad
Skirt.com
June
2009greenville
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What’s it Like for
A Broad Abroad? Susan Jane Gilman
ack in college, I lived on a steady diet of frozen yogurt, falafel and Simone de Beauvoir. She was my heroine, and her book The Second Sex was my Bible. I also read Germaine Greer and many obscure French and Swedish feminists who were in vogue at the time. All of this led me to assume that women’s lives were far better in Europe. After all, people there seemed so sophisticated, with their cafés, academics and universal health care. But then, ta-da: In 2002, I moved across the pond. For the past six years, my husband, the Amazing Bob, and I have been living in Geneva, Switzerland. An international city that’s home to the United Nations and the promotion of human rights, Geneva is known as the “City of Peace.” It’s an elegant town, full of well-dressed people strolling along lakeside gardens. When we first arrived, I couldn’t wait to shed my red-white-and-blue skin. Oh, how I wanted to assimilate, to become a cultured, erudite, worldly European woman! Until I moved here, I believed that sexism was big, abstract and blatant: pay discrimination. Sexual violence and harassment. The fact that breast cancer studies had once been conducted only on men. But in Switzerland, alas, I’ve come to learn just how subtle and insidious it can be, too. Certain innocuous things—like store hours and attitudes—can make an enormous difference in women’s lives. And as Joni Mitchell put it: Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone? In Geneva, shops are only open from 8am until 6pm, and not at all on Sundays. Most children are sent home from school midday, so it goes without saying that lunchtime, evenings and Sundays are sacred family times. At 7pm, the Swiss believe people should be home with their loved ones, not manning a check-out counter or pricing a lawnmower. Sounds nice, huh? And on one hand, admittedly, I’ve found this calming. Once Bob and I got used to stocking up on groceries before the weekend, we found that Sundays here force us to chill-out magnificently. That is, until Monday, when I alone brave the supermarkets to restock our Lilliputian fridge, hit the post office and pay the bills. I do this because as a writer, I work at home, and therefore have the more flexible hours. But even if I didn’t, the Swiss would expect me to do these things. Because here’s the flip side of such a genteel, European life: it’s predicated on the assumption that someone will always be home—home to do the shopping between 8am and noon during the week, home to prepare a hot lunch for the children, home to make sure that all is in order for Sunday. And guess what? This someone is presumed to possess a vagina. If it’s not the femme de foyer (housewife), it’s the femme de menage (housekeeper). A few years ago, the Swiss, who vote on referendums every 2-3 months, considered a proposition to allow cantons (the Swiss equivalent of states or provinces) to extend their store hours. Huge posters opposing the measure sprang up all over Geneva. They showed a cherubic baby, tears streaming bathetically down his face, beside the quote, “Mama, I want you, but you are gone. You have to work.” Subtle, it wasn’t. Longer store hours were demonized because they meant women might work more. Mind you, the proposition at issue allowed stores to stay open for exactly one extra hour. One day a week. Thursdays. Geneva passed the referendum. Other cantons in Switzerland did not. Renowned for watches, efficiency and punctuality, Switzerland is perversely behind the times when it comes to women’s rights. Women didn’t get the vote here until 1971. Age requirements, gender, and implicitly, appearances, are still included in job listings. Abortion was only de-criminalized in 2002. Women are still defined by marital status and age: We’re either Mademoiselle or Madame, not “Ms.” And the marketplace, with its “family-friendly” hours, is structured as an impediment to women working. The cafés, the languid pace of life and the day-of-rest Sundays. It’s all good stuff. But as an American woman, I’m discovering these benefits come at a cost—one I’m not so sure I’d be willing to pay back home. Susan Jane Gilman is the bestselling author of Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress, Kiss My Tiara, and her most recent book, Undress Me in the Temple of Heaven. She has written for the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and Ms. magazine, among others, and her fiction and essays have received several literary awards. She currently lives in Geneva, Switzerland, yet she remains, eternally, a child of New York City.
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2009greenville
Skirt.com
“SWITZERLAND
IS PERVERSELY BEHIND THE TIMES WHEN IT COMES TO
WOMEN’S RIGHTS. WOMEN DIDN’T GET THE VOTE HERE UNTIL 1971. AGE REQUIREMENTS, GENDER, AND IMPLICITLY, APPEARANCES, ARE STILL INCLUDED IN JOB LISTINGS. ABORTION WAS ONLY DE-CRIMINALIZED IN 2002. WOMEN ARE STILL DEFINED BY MARITAL STATUS AND AGE: WE’RE EITHER MADEMOISELLE OR MADAME, NOT “MS.” AND THE MARKETPLACE, WITH ITS “FAMILY-FRIENDLY” HOURS, IS STRUCTURED AS AN IMPEDIMENT TO WOMEN WORKING.
Skirt.com
June
2009greenville
33
planetnikki a visual journal
Hoping my first issue of the Australian zine, MixTape, will be as good as the cover.
splash class I have a big crush on Australian design, like the hand printed, slottogether stool/tables from zaishu.com. I’ll take the horse, please.
Bn HjbbZg HX]dda HnaaVWjh 1. Learn to swim. 2. Grow a tomato. Eat it straight from the vine. 3. Make mix CDs for friends. 4. Sunday afternoon porch parties. 5. Embroider a tee with Frida Kahlo’s “Viva la Vida.” 6. Read John Muir & hike Yosemite. 7. Find a yoga guru. 8. Film a digital story with my Flip. 9. Write a book that’s just for me. 10. Graduate with honors.
My “idea book” is part eye candy, part journal, part sketchbook and held together with a hair band.
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June
2009greenville
Frida Kahlo inspired my fridaville.com personal blog, but Bonnard is a close second in terms of inspiration. This postcard lives on my mood board.
Skirt.com
TLJSU"!!
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The Magazine Association of the Southeast recently honored skirt! with 5 GAMMA Awards. The GAMMAS recognize editorial and design excellence in magazines in the southeast United States.
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7JMMBHF $FOUFS GPS 8PNFO O DECDS=U CNAAN O? www.villageatpelham.com
Celebrating 6 Years of Business!
GOLD
Best Design Best Essay Best Single Issue
Upscale Consignment Furniture
SILVER
General Excellence Best Series
Fo r i nfo r mati o n o n a d ver tising: 8 6 4 .3 5 7 . 3 6 69.
www.homeatlastinc.com Furniture Online & Updated Daily 1001 S. Batesville Rd. Near 85 & Pelham Mon. 10-2 Tues. 11-6 Wed. & Thurs. 10-5:30 Fri. & Sat. 10-4
848-3737 Skirt.com
June
2009greenville
35
Poinsett Highway near Furman University Publix Shopping Center
(864) 246-7255
doing it asian style www.thaicoon.net
®
©2009 THAICOON RESTAURANT, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
UNIVERSITY SQUARE