october
Greenville, SC
free!
skirt!is
www.skirt.com
p m j e d for joy lately? Have you u Started a laugh riot with a friend? Woofed
it up with your dog? If you’ve forgotten
Your Laugh Lines, it might be time to play the Fool. Going
a little Gaga is a good thing—choose
impossible shoes. People will smile at
your style. If you fall down in public, get
up laughing. Dance in the spice aisle to
the supermarket soundtrack. Arm wrestle
for the check. Make dessert an occasion
to celebrate instead of an orgy of regret.
Create an alter-ego name to use at Starbucks.
Be ticklish. Practice being amazed instead of glazed
over. Text “I love your laugh” to a friend.
Collaborate—it’s another way to play.
Experiment, even if it blows up in your face.
Smile, it’s a renewable resource. Cover copy by Nikki Hardin, art by Julia Breckenreid
“Forget love—I’d rather fall in chocolate!” attributed to Sandra J. Dykes
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3.66 x 6_Wine Harvest_AdSlick.indd 1
6/16/2010 2:53:47 PM
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october about skirt! Publisher Nikki Hardin editor@skirt.com Greenville Editor Sheril Bennett Turner sheril.turner@skirt.com
features
National Art Director Caitilin McPhillips caitilin.mcphillips@skirt.com
Pro Kiters Jami Bonyun...............................................................................................10
Director of Sales Angela Filler angela.filler@skirt.com
The Car Cart
Sales Executive Kathryn Barmore kathryn.barmore@skirt.com
Robyn Passante.......................................................................................14
Make Me Smile
Graphic Designer Shelli H. Rutland
Mary Okuley, DDS................................................................................16
Photographers John Fowler 864.380.6682 john@johnfowlerphotography.com
Make Me Smile Jenna Tamisiea...........................................................................................18
Sheril Bennett Turner Sales 864.357.3669
Make Me Smile The TaTa Queens...................................................................................20
FAX: 864.751.2815
The Cat Lady
sheMAIL
Bree Barton...............................................................................................24
1708-C Augusta ST. #335 Greenville, SC 29605
Hey Lady!
subscribe!
Amy C. Balfour........................................................................................27
For a one-year Subscription (12 issues), send a $35 check to: skirt!Greenville 1708-C Augusta ST. #335 Greenville, SC 29605
skirt! is all about women... their work, play, families, creativity, style, health and wealth, bodies and souls. skirt! is an attitude...spirited, independent, outspoken, serious, playful and irreverent, sometimes controversial, always passionate.
ineveryissue
skirt.com
skirt! is published monthly and
distributed free throughout the greater Greenville area. skirt! reserves the right to refuse to sell space for any advertisement the staff deems inappropriate for the publication. Unsolicited manuscripts must be accompanied by a selfaddressed, stamped envelope. Letters to the editor are welcome, but may be edited due to space limitations. Press releases must be received by the 1st of the month for the following month’s issue. All content of this magazine, including without limitation the design, advertisements, art, photos and editorial content, as well as the selection, coordination and arrangement thereof, is Copyright © 2010, Morris Publishing Group, LLC. All Rights Reserved. No portion of this magazine may be copied or reprinted without the express written permission of the publisher. SKIRT!® is a registered trademark of Morris Publishing Group, LLC. 4
Octoberw2010greenville
From the Publisher/Editor...................................................................6 Letters..............................................................................................................7 Calendar.........................................................................................................8 Skirt of the Month................................................................................13 He’s So Original with John Fowler...............................................22 Products.......................................................................................................28 skirt! Alerts/Brava/It’s a Shame...................................................29 Girl Power with Nadia Hilton-Adams.......................................30 skirt! Loves..............................................................................................31 24/7 with Deborah Perzak, DVM................................................32 Browse..........................................................................................................33 Planet Nikki................................................................................................34 skirt.com
october [ the smile issue ]
SMILE!
1 23 skirt.com
Octoberw2010greenville
 
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from the publisher
cover artist Julia Breckenreid’s illustration work is informed by a diverse background of experiences and perspectives. Both conceptual and in-
got news? Let us know what’s on your mind, respond to an article, or give us info on an upcoming event. Send letters or press re-
the smile issue When you have worked on an issue devoted to smiles and humor for over a month, you start to get cranky around deadline. Videos of cats doing yoga and cute stories about kids make you grind your teeth, chocolate does not make you happy and jokes just seem like annoying time-sucks. And then you realize
leases to sheril.turner@skirt.
you still have to write an editorial. About Smiles. It’s not that you don’t want
com, or mail to skirt!
to write it, but evidently your funny bone is broken from overuse. So what you
and agile approach enable
Greenville, 1708-C Augusta St. #335,
end up with is a list of things that might be funny if they weren’t so stupid,
her to quickly grasp a cli-
tuitive, her versatile palette
ent’s needs, to find the right tone and deliver the most compelling visual expression of their message. Julia’s illustrations have garnered recognition from many awards
Greenville, SC 29605.
1/5 of Americans think Obama is a Muslim.
contribute We are always looking for new writers and artists. Our guidelines for
and associations, including
writers and artists are
3×3 Magazine, American
available online at skirt.com.
Illustration, the Society of Illustrators (LA), Lürzer’s
Submit artwork or essays via e-mail to submissions@ skirt.com. Check out our
Archive and Taschen’s Illus-
website at skirt.com for
tration Now! Her clients have
giveaways, essays, and other
included Chronicle Books,
extras that aren’t in the print edition.
The Washington Post and MORE Magazine, to name a few. breckenreid.com
annoying or astounding:
distribute Need additional copies of skirt!? If you would like to have copies of skirt! in your business, give us a call.
That we all know who Snooki is. I’m particularly sad that knowledge is now in my brain. Ashton Kutcher plays Ashton Kutcher being cool in the Nikon ads. The fact that anyone would use 60 minutes of their allotted lifespan to watch Bristol Palin on Dancing with the Stars. Wedding parties still dance down the aisle long after the original viral video. Are they getting married or auditioning for Glee? BP thinks viewers believe their concerned-citizen TV ads. The ubiquitous lardon. A sophisticated name for pork chunks in your salad. Etsy crafts that feature creature faces that seem to say “I’m part squirrel, part girl.” Whoever started this should have their felt taken away. And when you’re through venting, you suddenly feel much, much better. Almost smiley-faced, in fact.
Nikki
publisher@skirt.com
from the editor I once read a magazine article about a middle-aged man who wanted to see how strangers would respond to him if he smiled at them. So for seven days, he smiled. He smiled at people as he was walking down the street, he smiled at people in other cars while driving, he smiled at people pushing carts past him at the grocery store, he smiled at the fast-food worker when he ordered his burger. Can you guess the outcome of his experiment? Except for a rare few—women with small children who thought he was a pervert and a pretty woman or two who mistook him for a stalker—the man discovered that almost everyone he came in contact with smiled back at him. Some even said hello. He also discovered to his surprise that by the end of the week he was feeling much happier himself. During times like this, when the economy is on the skids and jobs are nowhere to be found, it can be difficult to smile. But as the old song goes, “You’ll find that life is still worthwhile, If you’ll just....Smile.” I hope this issue makes you not only smile, but laugh out loud!
❉ skirt .c
skir t. c
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❉ skirt .
skirt.com
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sheril.turner@skirt.com
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Sheril
dearskirt! Hope you are well! Just picked up my September copy of skirt! and am enjoying it as always. As a fan of your publication, and a former feature guest
I keep the magazine when I’m done reading and use the pages to decorate, and sometimes even to wrap gifts in. What a beautiful, fun and inspiring magazine for our city.
a couple of years ago, I wanted to make sure you knew I have written a book, A Daughter Reborn: From Baby Girl to Midlife Orphan. It is the true story of my
Let us take care of your precious smiles!
journey with my parents during their final years/days based on my personal journal entries, emails and letters from Mama and Daddy. It is a story of hope, forgiveness and transformation. I believe your audience would relate to the story and appreciate its message. My book will be available on amazon. com very soon. Monnie Whitson Greenville, SC
I just wanted to let you know that I
love your magazine. I run to the bookstore every month to grab one and am so disappointed when the rack is empty! I keep the magazine when I’m done reading and use the pages to decorate, and sometimes even to wrap gifts in. What a beautiful, fun and inspiring magazine for our city. Well done! Raquel White Memphis,TN
So far I’ve read three copies of skirt! and I love it. I believe in women being independent and standing up for their beliefs. As a teenage mother, I’m constantly feeling pressure to do things that are morally right and things that mothers should do. I think it’s great that skirt! publishes people that are role models and have something positive to say about women. Keep up the good work. Laura Canales High Point, NC
Just when I get to thinking that skirt! cannot get much better than it has been this year, you just keep raising the bar. I Loved the September issue. As always, it seems to be speaking to just me. The articles were great and the profiles were excellent. Keep up the great work and I’m anxiously awaiting the October issue. Nicole Sickmann Knoxville,TN
I think it’s great that skirt! publishes people that are role models and have something positive to say about women.
Board Certified Pediatric Dentist
102 South Venture Drive Greenville, SC 29615
Congratulations on all the success with skirt! in Greenville. It is truly my favorite magazine!!!
(near intersection of Pelham Road & Patewood Drive)
Adriel McIntyre The Intrepid Declutterer Greenville, SC
864-234-9800
It just dawned on me—there were three skirt!-featured “celebrities” speaking
Mary W. Crockett, D.M.D
LOL
at the Social Story Conference in
www.crockettpediatricdentistry.com
Greenville on September 24. Wow. You know how to pick ‘em. Trey Pennington Founder, Social Story Conference Greenville, SC
Have an opinion? Email sheril.turner@skirt.com. All letters to the editor must include the writer’s name and city/state.
skirt.com
Octoberw2010greenville
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october sunday
monday
Friday 1-2
oct. challenge “Every day, try to have compassion for five kinds of people: someone you’re grateful to (a ‘benefactor’); a loved one or friend; a neutral person; someone who is difficult for you— and yourself.”
Weeper treat or keeper? We’re hoping Conviction with Hilary Swank will be another Million Dollar Baby and not just a Lifetime movie.
this month 24
Colombian comedian Andrés López is back at The Peace Center with his new Spanishlanguage show: “Me Pido la Ventana con Frutica Picada.” peacecenter.org
Tap the image to find the closest color, get complimentary colors by shaking your phone, then save your favorites and click to find the nearest shop.
A string of orange hand-thrown ceramic lights from Pigeon Toe Ceramics in Portland is perfectly at home on Halloween and every other night of the year. (More colors on pigeontoeceramics.com.)
Greer Station Association presents a special outdoor event, Girl’s Night Out at Poinsett West, featuring fashions shows, hors d’oeuvres, wine and door prizes. greerstation.com Get Fresh! October is the last month to enjoy the Carolina First Saturday Market at Main Street at McBee Avenue. saturdaymarketlive.com
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8-10
Bring your curious heirlooms and old knick-knacks to M&G’s Antiques Appraisal Event: Collectible or Curiosity. bjumg.org/heritage_green
Join us at St. Francis Fall for Greenville, an award-winning festival that attracts guests from across the Upstate and beyond. fallforgreenville.net
From October 8-17, catch Annie Get Your Gun.The classic music of Irving Berlin brings this fictionalized tale of sharp shooter Annie Oakley to life. ficiviccenter.org Have you been watching Season 8 of Project Runway? The season finale airs this month with Jessica Simpson guest-judging the final runway shows at New York Fashion Week.
Let’s do the time warp again at the cult classic, The Rocky Horror Show. warehousetheatre.com
trick
ImprovisedLife.com tells the story of someone whose cell phone had a fatal encounter with water and as a last ditch rescue effort, stored it in a Ziploc bag full of rice to absorb the moisture.
Happy Halloween!
“eat, drink and be scary.” Anonymous
Success! Octoberw2010greenville
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Check out Billboard’s #1 Christian Songs Artist of the Decade, MercyMe! peacecenter.org
27 28 Join the skirt! girls at Refractive Solutions in Greenville from 5-7pm for a special Girl’s Night Out! Call 676.9051 for details.
Catch CMA’s New Artist of the Year and former Hootie and the Blowfish singer, Darius Rucker. peacecenter.org Looking for a good man? Raising one? @GoodMenProject on Twitter is “starting a conversation about what it means to be a good man.” Join in!
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Looking for some great bargains? Check out the Greer Station Community Rummage Sale at Palmetto Bank on Wade Hampton Blvd. greerstation.com
15-31
19-29
Guten Tag! The Greer Station Oktoberfest is a local favorite featuring live German Oompah bands, dancing, and an array of German foods and beer. greerchamber.com
Enjoy an Evening Under the Stars at Woodburn Plantation in Pendleton, SC, during their 50th Anniversary Celebration. pendletonhistoricfoundation. org
Don’t miss Greenville County Museum of Art’s 25th Annual Antiques Show featuring guest speaker Victoria Wyeth, daughter of the famed late American painter, Andrew Wyeth. antiques.greenvillemuseum.org
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Friday 15-17
The Children’s Museum of the Upstate presents BOO!seum, an annual educational alternative to Halloween that utilizes the arts as a means to educate children in multiple subject areas. TCMGreenvilleSC.org
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The annual Spartanburg International Festival celebrates Spartanburg’s Get motivated with a unique coed spinning diverse multicultural class featuring funky dance music and strobe lights at the Greenville Adventure Boot Camp community. spartanburg on Laurens Road. greenvillebootcamp.com internationalfestival.com
Once again, the GSO proves that it knows how to party with its annual Oktoberfest concert! greenvillesymphony.org Ina Garten’s new Barefoot Contessa book, How Easy Is That? comes out on the 26th. She promises it’s full of easy-peasy recipes with few ingredients and simple techniques, while still maintaining wow-factor.
OPENING
Found the perfect autumn color? Download Benjamin Moore’s Color Capture app (to Android or iPhone), snap a picture, and Ben will help you find cool hues that match or compliment.
4
Wear your best pink and bid on 12 mannequin busts beautifully illustrated by featured artists during the TaTas on Trade Auction benefiting the American Cancer Society. tatasontrade.com
1
With a focus on folk and outsider arts, as well as all of your local artists, the Trillium Art Festival is a fun, funky, laid-back event that artists and public alike will enjoy. trilliumartscentre.org
Instant Inspiration
saturday
funday
Dedicated to keeping the moonshining spirit alive, the Moonshiner’s Reunion and Mountain Music Festival is one of the Appalachian region’s most authentic annual folk celebrations. moonshiners.com
From Buddha’s Brain, by Rick Hanson
From Mad Hatter tea parties to exploring pumpkins, check out all the October happenings at the Children’s Museum of the Upstate. tcmgreenvillesc.org
thursday
wednesday
tuesday
22-24
16-17, 23-24
Trick or treat, it’s Boo in the Zoo! This is a safe, non-scary event for kids 12 and under at the Greenville Zoo. Adults can come in costume too! greenvillezoo.com
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Check out the The Carolina Ballet Halloween Hoopla Theatre hosts a for a safe, alcoholperformance inspired by free environment the season, Bad Vamps: An Evening with Twilight, in Greer City Park. freedomfellowshipsc.com Dracula and Ghosts. carolinaballet.org Did you know? Most women in their 20s can wait two years between Pap smears. Women 30 and up can wait three years if you’ve had normal results in the past.Talk with your doctor about what is best for you. Free or low-cost Paps are available through the National Breast and Cervical Cancer Early Detection Program. womenshealth.gov
29-Nov. 13
The Woman In Black is a mystery, a thriller, and a spine-tingling ghost story! You don’t want to miss the play that’s been running in London for 21 years. greenvillelittletheatre.com Watch airplanes and helicopters take off and land while enjoying a familyfriendly affordable and fantastic meal at the new Runway Café at the Greenville Downtown Airport. 864.991.8488.
30
Get your Tricks & Treats from the Greenville Symphony Orchestra! Casual, social, fun—join friends and sit back with a cup of coffee or glass of wine and let their principal musicians revitalize your soul. greenvillesymphony.org Run on down to the Spinx Run Fest in downtown Greenville. gvltrackclub.clubexpress. com Join M&G’s staff on a sleuthing adventure and help solve The Case of the Missing Painting! Children ages 5-12. bjumg.org
don’tmiss
23.10
10.
Everything Under the Sun Spectacular Tag Sale Dining for Women, a non-profit giving circle, will host the Everything Under the Sun Spectacular Tag Sale at McAlister Square. Don’t miss great prices on home décor, holiday decorations, jewelry, books and more. Also, enjoy free haircuts, chair massage, live music and entertainment. All proceeds go to fund international programs for women living in extreme poverty. By educating our members about the circumstances of women in some of the poorest countries in the world, we all become agents of change. For more information, visit diningforwomen.org.
9am-3pm • McAlister Square on S. Pleasantburg Drive in Greenville
“Don’t miss great prices on home décor, holiday decorations, jewelry, books and more. Also, enjoy free haircuts, chair massage, live music and entertainment.
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“Have you tried snorkeling?”
T
Jami Bonyun
he day before my husband, Jeff, and I fly to Hawaii to begin our stint as kiteboarders, it occurs to us that knowing how to fly a kite might be useful. “Oh well,” I say, “I suspect we will both be naturals.” We spend the entire 10hour flight speculating as to what aweinspiring tricks we will have mastered after six days of lessons. After landing in Maui, we check into the hotel and take a quick glance at the beach and pool area. We scoff at the tourists sipping cocktails from coconuts, reading trashy magazines between naps, and staring at the water from underneath their oversized umbrellas. “How cliché,” I say, shaking my head. “Imagine how boring their postcards must be! ‘Today, I avoided any new life experiences and drowned myself in weak piña coladas. Tomorrow, if I feel up to it, I may dip my toe into the swimming pool. What an adventurous life I lead!’” Jeff nods in agreement. “It’s like they’re not even trying to impress their friends and family.” It’s true that Jeff and I are competitive when it comes to acquiring life experiences. Lately, it’s become increasingly difficult to top our more adventurous friends. A few years ago, it was scuba diving, elephant training in Thailand, and psy-trance parties in India. These days, it’s spelunking, Arctic dog sled expeditions, and illegal base jumping. We arrive at Kite Beach for our first lesson and gawk at the kiters effortlessly maneuvering their giant kites while gliding across the water on their tiny boards, doing back flips and 360s, and jumping 30 feet into the air. Our private instructor, Dylan, skips over to introduce himself. Sporting a floppy sun hat and a permanent smile, he’s one of those overly cheerful individuals who I find unnerving since you can never figure out why they’re so damn happy (usually Jesus or drugs). He is ecstatic to get us fitted with equipment. He offers us helmets, but we adamantly refuse; helmets are intended for fearful, unathletic beginners who will inevitably injure themselves or others. We sign a series of waivers, and I try to ignore the fact that their world-class kiteboarding school is operated out of the back of a van. Suited up in harnesses that attach us to the kite, we spend day one on land, learning the basics of kite flying. Since Jeff and I are sharing a kite, we take turns trying to impress Dylan and secure star-pupil status. At one point, another beginner shreds a thousand-dollar kite on some bushes, much to the frustration of his instructor. I snap a quick photo to document his failure. On day two, we graduate to body-dragging in the water. One at a time, Dylan sends us into the ocean to fly the kite back and forth while simply holding
onto the board. It sounds easy enough, but the kite has a mind of its own, and it proves challenging to maintain your grasp on the board while being violently dragged face-first through the water. After my second turn, I vomit salt water and immediately update my Facebook status to explain how hardcore I am. On day three, I quit twice before noon, but I’m only half-serious. We practice putting the board on our feet while floating on our backs and simultaneously flying the kite with one hand. Once our feet are secured into the footstraps, the idea is to dive the kite with enough force to yank us into a standing position. The sheer elation that comes from standing is abruptly followed by an unpleasant and disorienting crash as the kite changes course. I finally see the point of those helmets. By the end of the lesson, I have perfected the face plant and ridden maybe 20 feet standing up on the board. That’s still 10 feet further than Jeff, who pouts incessantly and complains to Dylan that I am receiving an unfair amount of instruction time. On day four, Dylan quits, claiming that we are “bumming him out” with our negative attitudes. He accuses us of “not having fun” and suggests we pursue a less demanding activity. “Have you tried snorkeling?” he asks with a deadpan expression. I struggle to keep my composure after such a slap in the face. “Does anyone actually have fun climbing Mount Everest?” I argue. Dylan eventually agrees to continue with the lesson, but only if we promise to be more laid-back. I show up on day five flaunting my new mellow attitude, responding to everything with a shrug and a “whatever, man.” I keep this up until I lose control of my kite on a bad run and hurtle past the designated safe area toward the rocks. Under duress, I revert to my true nature, alternating between crying and yelling profanities as I trail helplessly behind my stubborn kite. Dylan, the optimist, continues to smile at me from the beach and initiates a series of nonsensical hand gestures. I consider giving him the finger. Jeff, on the other hand, recognizes my hysteria and dives into the ocean to rescue me. Although I appreciate the gesture, my white knight swims at an agonizingly slow pace. After watching him doggy-paddle in my general direction for a few interminable seconds, I take matters into my own hands and pull the emergency cord to cut myself loose. The kite, freed from its screaming six-foot anchor, crashes onto the rocks. I swim back to shore and stomp through the crowd of concerned onlookers. One of them snaps a photo to document my failure. Although Dylan manages to recover our kite, my near-death experience puts a damper on the rest of the lesson. On day six, the wind dies, and all lessons are canceled. Jeff and I are both relieved, although neither of us will admit it. We spend the day on the beach, drinking piña coladas and doing absolutely nothing. Drunk and happy, I fall asleep and dream about our next big trip...tracking chimpanzees in Tanzania.
Jami Bonyun earned an M.S. in Mathematical Finance in preparation for her career as a humor writer. She lives in Austin, TX, with her husband. 10
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Traci Daberko is an illustrator and graphic designer in Seattle, WA. See her work at daberkodesign.com.
Emma Graham Game Day Skirt Cocobella Boutique • 3730 Pelham Road • Greenville • 676.1900
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...I’m absolutely sure this godforsaken thing was not designed by a mother, or anyone with kids, or anyone who shops for more than one day’s worth of food. Robyn Passante
B
efore I had kids, I scoffed at any mother I saw wheeling around one of those ridiculously large car-shaped grocery carts. She always looked frazzled with a vague sense of forced oblivion, as though since she couldn’t see her children at the moment, then she didn’t have to mind them. (She sure could hear them, though; there’s something about being in those plastic cages that makes kids scream like banshees.) Now that I’m a work-from-home mom with a two-year-old and a two-month-old whose job it is to get the groceries each week, I am the frazzled one pushing the car cart. A typical grocery store visit for us goes something like this: Entrance: The baby sleeps blissfully in his car seat perched on the back of the cart while I manage to get a wiggly toddler through a plastic window and belted in against his will. Then I realize there’s toddler goo all over the horn and crumbs on the seat. The conveniently placed canister of sanitized wipes near the doorway is empty. Produce: It’s impossible to keep the car cart out of everyone’s way as I bag my fruit. So I plod through produce like I’m lost, backtracking and apologizing as I go. That’s when I see a kindred spirit—another mom huffing behind one of these stupid red carts. She’s got two kids, both in the “car,” and they’re arguing. I see my future, and I don’t like it. Aisle 2: Every time I stop the cart, my two-year-old sticks his head out the side and asks if he can walk now. This will continue for the next nine aisles. Every single time I stop the cart. Aisle 5: I’m pushing the cart slowly, looking for the needle-in-a-haystack kind of bread my husband likes when I feel a thump. I’ve knocked over an entire display stand of individually wrapped Hostess cupcakes. The stand seems like it’s 10 feet away from where I’m standing but then again, so is the front of my cart. A nice woman stoops to help pick them all up. For the next 15 aisles I will pat myself on the back—and sigh with remorse—for not putting any cupcakes in my cart. Aisle 11: My son stops asking if he can walk and instead tries to escape. He manages to get his head, shoulders and chest out the side window despite being buckled in. I’m tempted to let his determined little noggin “tap” the cereal boxes on the bottom shelf as we pass. The image makes me giggle.
Aisle 12: I remember the taco seasoning but forget the refried beans. I cannot turn around in the aisle, especially with people behind me, so I have to cruise up Aisle 13 to return to Aisle 12. Aisle 12 redux: This thing has more blind spots than a semi. I almost bump into an old lady with a mini-cart. As I swerve to avoid her, the stack of coupons sitting on the baby’s legs flutters to the floor. I won’t realize I didn’t find them all until I’m checking out. Aisle 14: Another run-in with the same old lady, only this time I hit her cart. Oops. Quick, boys, look cute. Aisle 15: My toddler has begun chanting. “Mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama...” At first I try to answer him, but soon realize he is not expecting an answer. This is some type of song. Or rhetorical statement. Or form of torture. Meat counter: At this point I’m absolutely sure this godforsaken thing was not designed by a mother, or anyone with kids, or anyone who shops for more than one day’s worth of food. The engineers shrank the size of the basket to compensate for the size of the car attached to it. This makes very little sense since the people who use these carts have more than one mouth to feed. My basket is full and I’ve still got six aisles to go! I try to perch my stack of fresh meat packages on top of the car. Five seconds later, they fall off. Aisle 19: The woman with the car cart and bickering siblings is at the other end of the aisle. As we approach one another I give her the “Isn’t this a pain in the butt?” eye roll-slash-smile and she gives me the “Oh God, I hear ya sister” grin and I answer with an “I used to vow I’d never push one of these friggin’ things” face and she nods with an “I wish they gave out samples of wine here” look that makes me want to hug her. Then we heave our carts in opposite directions, but mine feels a little lighter. There is strength in numbers. Aisle 20: There’s a giant delivery cart filled with boxes of eggs taking up half the aisle. It’s in the way of the yogurt I need to get, and I begin to huff at the stock boy before realizing that my car cart is actually slightly bigger. And the way I feel about him right now is how everyone else has felt about me for the last hour when they saw me coming up the aisle. Checkout: My son yells the entire time we’re in line. Not words, just “Aaaaah!!!! Aaaaahhh!!! Aaaahhhh!!!” at the top of his lungs, a wordless “I’m mad as hell and I’m not gonna take it anymore” tirade. I try to talk to him. Scold him. Bribe him. Finally, I push the cart into the tiny checkout aisle and, since I can no longer see or reach him, I ignore him. Forced oblivion. Ahhhhh.
Robyn Passante is a freelance writer, blogger and editor who lives in the Harrisburg, PA, area with her husband and two young sons. She has recently discovered the joys of online grocery shopping. 14
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Make Me sMile
Dr. Mary Okuley | Tooth Fairy At Greer Pediatric Dental Care, Dr. Mary and her team offer a nurturing environment that provides dental services to children, infants through adolescence, as well as those patients with special needs. “As a mother of three, I have based my practice on treating and protecting every child as if they were my own. Seeing the dentist can sometimes elicit fear or anxiety and I really want to make sure every child have a positive experience.” Home with her family, this energetic Supermom can usually be found with one child strapped to her in a carrier and the other two perched on her hips. “I love children. Being silly with kids all day will always keep you young!” Photo by John Fowler
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Make Me sMile
Jenna Tamisiea | All Aglow When they moved to the Upstate and realized there was no vocal arts organizations, Jenna and her fiancé Christian decided to start one of their own. “We’re so happy to be producing our inaugural season of Greenville Light Opera Works (GLOW) at Centre Stage Theatre. I love directing operetta because it combines beautiful classical singing with a whole lot of laughs, and unlike opera, nobody dies!” Currently starring in her own production—she and Christian are tying the knot on October 3—Jenna is optimistic about their future. “Our goal is to make a positive impact in the arts community of South Carolina.” Find out more about GLOW and their Operetta outreach program for schoolchildren (called GlowWorms) at greenvilleopera.org. Photo by John Fowler in Centre Stage Theatre
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Make Me sMile
The TaTa Queens | Bosom Buddies In 2008, inspired by a certain author of royal sweet potato fame, some book club gals decided to form their own court called the TaTa Queens. Since most of the women in the group have been touched by breast cancer in some way, either personally or through family members and close friends, they decided to use humor to champion the physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being of breast cancer patients. Operating purely on donations, The TaTas appear at events all over the Upstate, and even have their very own bee-yoo-ti-ful parade float that they use in area Christmas parades. “It’s easy to tell where we’ve been,” says TaTa Queen Juli Spann, “We always leave a trail of pink feathers.” Find out more at tataqueens.com. The TaTa Queens include: Jessica Traynham, Juli Spann, Kari Day, Susan Ayers, Cyndi Everette, Lori Holloway, Jill Campion, Katie Gill, Richelle Law, Debbie Clapp, Mary Mason, Lisa Haycraft, and Stacy Allison. Photo by John Fowler
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John Fowler is Capturing Smiles. As the official photographer for skirt! Magazine in Greenville, John is used to making people smile. “I am really inspired by people who live their passion,” he admits. Specializing in commercial, product, lifestyle, as well as fashion photography, John never has a dull moment. “I bought my first camera when I was 20 and photography is what I’ve wanted to do ever since. It’s a never-ending learning experience and almost always different and interesting.” Check out John’s work at promoimaging.com. What do you love about skirt magazine? The opportunity to meet and photograph the diverse, talented, and interesting people that grace the pages of skirt!. How do you feel wearing a skirt? Free. Photo by John Fowler
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the
LADY “Mom?...Maybe it would be easier if we, you know… had fewer pets.”
T
Bree Barton
here’s a difference between “cat person” and “cat lady.” Cat people are simply cat lovers. They prefer felines to canines and are the proud owners of a well-groomed Persian or two. Cat ladies are wild-eyed women teetering on the edge of sanity with kinky hair and streams of kittens flowing out of their cupboards. My mother is one of those. It started in moderation, back when there was only Looney Tunes. Looney was my mother’s faithful Himalayan that, by the time I was born, was a crotchety old biddy with hair that came out in large clumps. Before I learned to walk, the carpet in our one-bedroom apartment was covered in soft, grey fur balls—irresistible after a supper of Gerber mashed peas. If cat hair is indeed indigestible, my stomach is probably so well-lined with downy fur that you could gut me and make a nice winter coat. Looney never liked me much, so I amused myself eating fur until the day a stray tabby appeared on our doorstep. “Look, Mom! She’s got a tail!” Even as a four-year-old, my powers of perception were exceptionally sharp. “Yes, Bree, she does.” “Let’s call her Tail-er!” Hence, Taylor was christened as the newest addition to the family. It wasn’t long before the other neighborhood strays got the same idea, and our front porch became a kind of revolving door for the bruised and beaten. We were living in a rough part of Dallas when gang warfare was at its height. When Bloods and Crips weren’t shooting each other in the alley behind our house, they were clearly beating the shit out of their pets. Limping calicos, tailless kittens, alley cats with mange—all staggered up to 222 N. Rosemont for some solidarity and Meow Mix. My mother was a generous spirit, but she drew the line at communicable diseases. The truly sickly specimens were ushered on with a gentle prod, only to be replaced by the next band of battered pussies from the ’hood. Over the next few years, we moved in and out of the ghetto until we finally landed in an upscale part of town, where we were promptly branded with a scarlet “R”—Renters. Despite our stigmatized social status, we couldn’t help but notice that the quality of strays had improved. Three-legged tomcats had been replaced by Turkish Angoras with entitlement issues. My mother still fed them, unable to ever deny help to an animal in need. And slowly, subtly, they began to inch their way beyond the front porch and into our living room. That’s about the time I noticed something strange. The number of cats we owned at any given time was inversely related to my mother’s serotonin levels. Only two cats? She was relatively happy. Three or four cats crowded into the kitchen for a Friskies feast? Bad news, Dr. Phil.
It was undeniable. The day I found my mother hunched in a ball by the clothes dryer, unable to get up, we were offering asylum to at least five strays. When Taylor’s first litter of kittens came, she cried for days. The morning she rang her fiancé to call off their engagement, I noticed four unfamiliar furry faces peeking out from behind a pillow. I struggled with basic cause and effect. Was it the cats causing the depression, or the depression causing the cats? “Mom?” I ventured, while scrubbing vomit stains out of the rug. “Maybe it would be easier if we, you know…had fewer pets.” “What?” “Maybe it’s better to just have two cats. Like we used to.” “Less stressful?” She stared at me like I’d just proposed we lop off her left breast and donate it to UNICEF. “My cats make me happy,” she said, smacking her thighs with her palms. My mother has a habit of doing this—slapping her hands down on her thighs to emphasize a point. It’s one of those tics that start to wear on you when you’ve known someone an entire lifetime, like when they chew too loudly. Which, incidentally, she also does. “Okay,” I said, throwing my hands up in surrender. “We’ll keep the cats.” I was beginning to understand that, in many ways, my mother preferred cats to people. They were less complicated, more unconditionally loving, and in spite of the nuisance of cleaning the litter box, it was a whole lot easier dealing with their shit. Not long after our conversation, she had the living room chair reupholstered in cats. Not real cats—she wasn’t skinning the neighbor’s pets during manic episodes. Instead she pored over fabric samples and finally chose a pattern with dozens of life-sized American shorthairs. Now, when we had company, they were forced to sip their Franzia while balancing uneasily on 50 pairs of embroidered yellow eyes. “I just love your...decorating,” guests would say. “Thank you!” my mother would beam. “I still have a swatch of the fabric if you’re interested.” “Oh! Well...”The guest would grope desperately for an excuse. “Bill would never let me reupholster the couch. Not in this economy! If only I could. I do so admire your...creativity.” My mother got a lot of compliments on her creativity. Most of them came when she wore her Wicked Witch of the West leggings, which had horizontal black and chartreuse stripes like a prison uniform that accidentally wound up with a green sock in the wash. I have a Halloween picture of the two of us, my mother in those leggings and a witch costume. She’s holding Looney Tunes, who is wearing a miniature witch hat, and I’m standing in front of her with blackeyeliner whiskers painted on my face. Looney is dressed like my mom, and I’m dressed like Looney. I think, if I had to pinpoint the first time I had a sneaking suspicion that my mother wished she’d actually given birth to a kitten, that would be the moment.
A native Texan, Bree Barton now lives in Los Angeles where she collects bookshelves, exotic cheeses, and parking tickets. Her work has been published in The Huffington Post Complete Guide to Blogging, McSweeney’s, USA Today, Los Angeles Times, and Chronogram. She owns no cats. 24
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...sometimes a Southern gal has to work things out for herself.
Amy C. Balfour
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Hey Lady!
As a travel writer, I have several phrases I never want uttered in my presence: “About the bed bugs...” and “We seem to be losing altitude...” spring to mind. But there’s no clearer indication that my day is about to be ruined than hearing “Hey lady!” yelled from afar. Like the glimpse of an iceberg on a cold April night, “Hey lady!” is a simple but ominous warning, one that sends an immediate chill to the depths of my soul. Or it would, if not for the fact that I’m always momentarily confused, never immediately aware that I am, in fact, the “lady” in question. Why the fear? Because “Hey lady!” often precedes a horrible announcement: “Hey lady! Your dress is tucked into your underwear!” or “Hey lady! You know you just drove over a kitten!” Discretion prevents further elaboration. Although, most of the time “Hey lady!” means someone is gearing up for a sales pitch. And whether it’s a finger puppet in Nassau or spiced turkey jerky in Temecula, I can assure you, I never want it. I do not want it on a plane, I do not want it on a train. I do not want it in my purse, don’t ask again, I might just curse. The problem is that I’m incapable of ignoring the person yelling “Hey lady!”—I’ll always approach, like a dog sniffing a porcupine. A child reaching for a hot burner. John McCain sitting down with the ladies of the The View. Curious, optimistic, stupid. I don’t want the turkey jerky, but here I come. My excuse? The last gasping throes of manners and civility in a world that no longer cares. Raised in Virginia, I’m a master of the Southern mode of communication. If someone tries to sell a Southern woman something she doesn’t want, there’s a procedure for polite refusal based on generations of passive-aggressive behavior. Cliché, yes. But a cliché implicitly understood by all parties. For 200 years, the world has misunderstood Southern ways. I will now explain in four paragraphs how we think, using a typical scenario at the Virginia Junior League Arts & Crafts Fair: Amy wanders the booths. She pauses, mesmerized by an unusual purse. The Pursemaker smiles, “Each one’s made of 15 MoonPie wrappers. Amy takes a closer look, concluding that if this was the last handbag on Earth, she would henceforth carry her money in her shoe. “Adorable! How’d you come up with that?” “Cute, right? It just came to me, looking at all the wrappers sitting there in the trash. And then, voilà!” Amy smiles, “Voilà! But you know what? My niece made me one out of Frito bags just last week, bless her heart, and I don’t want to hurt her feelings by buying one so similar. But I love your stuff. You have a card?” Can you see the mastery of this exchange? Pursemaker understands her goods have been refused, but there are no hurt feelings because I have complimented said purse, blamed an absent 10-year-old and expressed future interest. Everyone feels good about herself. Toasts all around. And I can assure you, she never hollered, “Hey lady!” I have found on my travels, however, that most people do not understand this delicate art of refusal. Outside the perimeters of the Mason-Dixon, a polite expression of admiration before a refusal is perceived to be actual interest, which results in a harder sell. Recent efforts to toughen up have failed. While researching a guidebook in Los Angeles, for example, I spent a morning checking out restaurants on gritty Hollywood Boulevard. On the sidewalk, a wild-haired ruffian approached. He zeroed in, targeting me with a pointed “Hey lady!” I stopped, deciding it was time to take charge of my life. No more passiveaggressive waffling. I looked him in the eye and proclaimed: “I don’t have any!” Any what, I cannot tell you. Money? Breath mints? Common sense? I paused. The ruffian paused. The world stopped on its axis. And then the ruffian realized he was offended. He snapped back: “I ain’t even asked you for nuthin’ yet!” How true. My apologies. Here’s a dollar. Since social interaction is an inevitable part of my job, I’ve decided to try a new approach. One that I hope will minimize frustration for all involved. It came to me recently as I trudged toward a fish market on a distant tropical isle, just moments after “Hey lady! You wanna be my girlfriend?” I paused. His audacity was compelling. Forget manners. Forget propriety. Why not say yes? I could live my life by the tenets of the improv handbook where the first rule is: “Never deny anyone’s offer.” Say yes. Keep the show flowing. Carpe diem y’all! So that’s my plan. In the future, if a guy on the side of the road yells, “Hey lady!” then asks me to be his girlfriend, instead of blurting a flustered no, I’ll just say yes. After a few seconds of celebration, I’ll then ask him how I look in my jeans. I’ve kept the show going and upped the ante. Depending on his answer, I’ll counter or simply walk away. And yes, I realize that this strategy is known worldwide as “negotiation,” but sometimes a Southern gal has to work things out for herself. Amy has written for the Los Angeles Times, Backpacker, Redbook, Southern Living and Women’s Health and authored or co-authored seven guidebooks for Lonely Planet including Los Angeles Encounter and the upcoming USA’s Best Trips.
Skirt! Night at Aesthetic Solutions
Wednesday, October 27th 5 – 7 pm
BE YOUR BEST! Join us for a fun evening out with the girls! All Attendees will receive:
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No appointments are necessary and there’s no charge. Drop in and join the fun!
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Whistling Tea Kettle by Le Creuset lecreuset.com
“Is it cold enough for hot drinks yet? Le Creuset’s bright
tea kettles are a sizzling (and dare I say it—sexy?) addition to any kitchen.
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Silk & Wool Scarf Ten Thousand Villages Lewis Plaza Greenville 239.4120
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Chat Pit The Fire House Casual Living Store 601 Congaree Rd. Greenville 297.4470
4
support your favorite orchestra October 1-3 when the Greenville Symphony Tour of Homes presents “Bravo Monte-
u In preparation for
u A state-run newspaper
bello” featuring five
Pope Benedict’s visit to
in Iran called Carla Bruni,
elegant homes, as well
Britain in September,
the French first lady, a
as a luncheon café, a
the Catholic Women’s
“prostitute” after she
fashion show and a
Ordination had 15 London
penned an open letter
boutique around the
buses bearing a message
of support to an Iranian
corner at St. James
to the Pope. The buses
woman who is facing
Episcopal Church.
said “Pope Benedict –
the death penalty
guildgso.org
Ordain Women Now!”
for adultery.
v In a recent interview,
v A private religious
Beyoncé Knowles said, “I
school in Texas has
think I am a feminist in a
denied admission to the
way—it is not something
daughter of a lesbian
I consciously decided I
couple, citing its “clear
was going to be; perhaps
teaching of the Christian
it’s because I grew up in a
faith.” The two mothers
singing group with other
said the school appeared
women, and that was
to have no problem with
so helpful to me…I love
admitting their daughter
being a woman and
until they attended a
I love being a friend
recent parents’ night at
to other women.”
the school.
w According to a
w The Gay, Lesbian
Gallup poll, “Americans’
and Straight Education
support for the moral
Network says that
out in support of the
acceptability of gay and
“nearly 9 out of 10 LGBT
2010 Alzheimer’s Asso-
lesbian relations crossed
students experience
ciation Memory Walk
the symbolic 50 percent
harassment each year,”
on October 16—a
threshold in 2010.”
but Focus on the Family,
sport your favorite pair of jeans for the fun-filled sixth-annual Blue Jean Ball on Tuesday October 5 at Fluor Field.The event benefits YMCA’s Camp Greenville, helping to enhance the 98-yearold camp and its beautiful, 1,600 mountainous acres. campgreenville.org
step
community event in
an evangelical rightwing
downtown Greenville
interest group, is calling
that joins friends,
anti-bullying efforts by
family and co-workers
LGBT organizations part
as they walk to end
of a “gay agenda.” “The
Alzheimer’s. alz.org/sc
viewpoint of Christian students and parents are increasingly belittled,” said a spokeswoman.
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This 14-year-old freshman at Southside High is not just playing
Nadia Hilton-Adams
around. A member of Southside’s varsity tennis team as well as a USTA Junior player, Nadia has her sights set on attending either Howard, Duke or Wake Forest based on her skills on and off the court. A lover of Häagen-Dazs coffee ice cream and the TV show Supernatural, this young powerhouse volunteered over 200 hours during the 2008 presidential election and has aspirations of becoming a professional tennis player or a physicist. Either
“If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will. way, we know she’ll be a star.
Photo by Sheril Bennett Turner
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welove 1 “This show-stopping chocker really screams fall elegance to me. Day or night, how could you not feel super fabulous while wearing it? Find it at bellaoriginals.com.” Kathryn, Sales Executive
“These sassy Sam Edelman cowboy boots from Muse will take me into fall—and well beyond.” Angela, Director of Sales
2 “Know what makes me smile? These playful lamps with serious personality created by artist John Richards and found at Christopher Park Gallery in downtown Greenville.” Sheril, Editor
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4 “Gianna Rose makes the most adorable soaps—I love to give them as housewarming gifts. Each breed has its own scent, too.” Caitilin McPhillips, skirt! Art Director
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TWENTY-FOUR SEVEN WITH...
Dr. Deborah Perzak | Veterinarian My website: woodruffrdah.com My muse: The patients I serve. I strive to make things better for them! My passion right now: I have two—my business and my beau.
The best thing about where I live: It is a home for pets with special needs. Walker, runner or couch potato? Marathon race walker. I never want to: lose my sense of curiosity.
Words I live by: Keep it simple and do the next right thing!
My guilty pleasure: Eating ice cream for dinner, the gooier, the better!
If I could live anywhere: I would live in Nova Scotia.
My secret ambition: To write a book. I’d like to learn to: drive a racecar.
Photo by Sheril Bennett Turner 32
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Early bird or night owl? 100% night owl. My best friend says I’m: caring, compassionate, and crazy! Favorite restaurant: The Grit in Athens, GA. I can’t live without: The love and respect of those closest to me, at home and at work. Read more at greenville.skirt.com
Click
This issue of skirt! was put together to the sounds of:
For instant enlightenment, choose a mantra and then slide the beads on the iMantra screen to hear it spoken. Or, touch the Buddha’s beggar bowl and the mantra is spoken continuously. $3.99 from the iTunes App Store.
Listen
Firecracker The Wailin’ Jennys Lero-Lero Luisa Maíta Jasmine Keith Jarrett/ Charlie Haden Dream Attic Richard Thompson
For one of the best playlists around, visit the Magnolia Pearl website. Yes, she makes some wild and crazy clothing, but her taste in music rocks, too. Check our her blog at magnoliapearl.com.
Page Turners She’s Crazy, He’s a Liar: Now What?
Learn
Cecily Knobler
PhilosophersNotes is billed as “More Wisdom in Less Time.” You can buy the book or download the app that will condense and summarize these Big Ideas in a way that will make you want to learn more. philosophersnotes.com
Witty and relatable war stories make this humorous book of advice on dating, love and sex the perfect gift for single—or single again—friends.
Watch
Sheril Bennett Turner, Editor
Let’s Get Lost, the mesmerizing documentary by Bruce Weber on jazz giant Chet Baker, is available on YouTube in 12 short segments. Get lost in the music and the life when you’re stuck in line or a waiting room. Google “Let’s Get Lost documentary” at youtube.com.
Download Trouble sleeping? With White Noise, you click on a sound— thunderstorm, waves crashing, chirping crickets, etc.—and let your iPhone emit soothing soundtracks. The app features a volume fader and timer so your handset can “drift off ” at a time you select or wake you up gently. Download at iTunes. Created by tmsoft.com.
MAkE ME SMILE
“...real-life characters are just as fascinating as the fictional ones.
Life, Love & Laughter Donavon Frankenreiter Rave On Wanda Jackson All the Good Things Bob Ryan Walking My Baby Back Home Dean Martin I’m Coming Over Ashley Monroe & Trent Dabbs
Octoberplaylist
Fifth Avenue, 5 A.M.: Audrey Hepburn, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, and the Dawn of the Modern Woman Sam Wasson
This book about the making of Breakfast at Tiffany’s is as absorbing as the movie itself, and the cast of real-life characters just as fascinating as the fictional ones. Nikki Hardin, Publisher
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planetnikki [ a visual journal ]
I chew on my fingers in times of stress, so they’re always bandaged. These Cynthia Rowley Band-Aid strips say, “I’m a wounded worrier, but I’m bearing up in style.”
My friends know I’m a little nutty when it comes to piñatas, and Confetti System makes the ne plus ultra of piñatas. I envision them filled with chic little surprises (for me, of course), or maybe just hanging in my house.
Just add water. After a weekend immersion in art, I’ve been baptized in watercolors, catechized in negative space and gestural drawing. The hardest work I’ve ever done, making my brain grind with effort. I will never be great at any of it. I will never get the hang of perspective, just like I never understood geometry. When I draw my foot, it sometimes looks like a hoof. I’m embarrassed to sketch in public because on the art evolutionary scale, I’m barely out of Stick Figure Era. But I don’t care because it makes me so happy. Alizarin Crimson, Viridian Green and Winsor Blue... gasp! Teaching myself to color outside the lines...radical. The flow of black ink across thick paper... zen in a pen.
A dream studio in Art Making & Studio Spaces by Lynne Perrella. I have serious bookshelf envy.
I just took an online course on taking photos with my iPhone at The Poetic Eye (gryphonsfeather. typepad.com), and I’ve been printing them out to hang on the wall in a little rotating “gallery.”
Nikki Hardin is the founder and publisher of skirt! magazine. She blogs at fridaville.com. 34
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Consignment
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Don’t buy cheap clothes. Buy good clothes, cheap. now carrying maternity and plus size clothing
Greenville’s designer consignment boutique. Located in McDaniel Village with Panera Bread and Coplon’s
1922 Augusta Street | 864.631.1919 | M-F 10-6, Sat. 10-5 | www.labelsonaugusta.com