Each quarter when I prepare to release the latest edition of my magazine, I get so nervous, as if it's the launch of the first edition all over again. I think it's because I want to create each edition as if it's the first, putting my all into everything about the magazine.
This November marked two years since I launched, She ROCKS It Magazine, the Magazine where SHE Belongs. This magazine was created during the pandemic as a way to stay connected to the women who followed She ROCKS It Organization. 2 years later, postpandemic, it has grown globally with over 45,000 impressions and readers on our digital platform! WOW, who would've thought something I do in my free time on my cell phone would reach so many and empower so many others? I am truly humbled and grateful.
I hope you enjoy this edition. Thank you, as always, for doing what you do to support all that SHE does!
Life is all about creating special moments. Moments you wish to cherish. Life is too short to allow happiness to pass you by. Find a reason to smile, a reason for a selfie, a reason to impact the life of someone else, and a reason to do the things in life that make your Soul Satisfied.
I chose to live life by my own rules, with no permission required and no explanation needed. My purpose in life is to create spaces that change the narrative of how women support, interact with and celebrate one another. I AM SHE!
were born to stand
Most people know the biblical reference… love is patient, love is kind…
But in that lesson, where’s the practice? I for one know that when it comes to dating my patience is paper thin because, in my opinion, my love life should have peaked a while ago. But here I am, single and adjusting to the reality that everyone doesn’t get what the world views as “the fairytale” Please be clear, that my accepting and understanding of this reality doesn’t cancel out my hope for a “happily ever after”, it just allows me to view what my “happy” looks like through a difference lens It’s always so funny to talk to women of the generation before mine and hear their encouragement, hope and prayers that my “husband” is on the way to make my life complete They even ask, “Have you prayed for your husband? I know he is out there!”
I do not personally believe that there is anything wrong with praying for a husband, especially if you believe that, that is where you will find fulfillment in your life I’ve been there, sincerely praying for the man of my dreams to climb up the tower and rescue me and many years later I’ve learned to change my prayer to my want to build a life of satisfaction regardless of whether a man enters my life or not
My happiness does not live or die in the arms of a husband.
I have always loved from a space of hope and expectation because of the love I received from my parents Whether in friendship or romantic interaction, my love has always been selfless My parents were careful and intentional with the type of love they provided, unknowingly setting standards that are hard for even the “perfect” man to meet In my outpouring I have found that people can only show up in the capacity of their experiences My failures come when I become frustrated and unkind when dealing with unfavorable dating situations because I’m certain that I’ve mastered the love and admit that I am still working on the patience I am the “cut ‘em off” queen, if you will and as we all journey to become better in this life, I want to be patient when going through it
I have decided that I will however, continue to show up with love, communicate with love, and accept whatever this life provides “just for me” with love I refuse to believe we can’t all have everything we want, the challenge is for everyone to trust that what is meant to fulfill us will come and to throw away the negativity and expectations that others have set for what happiness looks like and define it for ourselves. And as I pray tonight, I will shift my mind from concrete things, fairytale dreams and unrealistic expectations to acceptance, understanding and gratefulness, for I know that no matter how it looks, the promise of my life being lived abundantly will come into fruition.
My sister, life has told us, the A list is where we need to be. Accolades, accomplishments, and arbitrary anecdotes define our blackness, our excellence, our joy.
But let’s redefine how we show up, how we glow up take what’s been told to us and blow it up Let’ go of being on the A list and together in our sisterhood, with joy, experience the b list.
The b list that brings us bumps As we question who we are, what we are doing The bumps that bring disruption to evolution. This is where I reach out to my sisters, and they bring me joy as they steady me.
And at times we bounce. Where we experience movement Moving in life, moving into life, moving with life Bouncing up, bouncing down, and around bouncing into new and into the uncomfortable. And this is where I reach out to my sisters, and they bring me joy as I am strengthened
And we need our boost A boost of confidence. A boost of affirmation. A boost to remind us how to Honor ourselves I humble myself and be myself And I reach to my sisters and find joy in them pouring into me where I need to improve, where I need to grow, and where I already shine.
Experiencing the need to believe. We need motivation, We need inspiration, We need elevation We need to understand. I need to get unwavering despite my doubts, my disappointments, my distractions. And I reach out to my sisters, as they bring me joy simply believing in me
We need to experience breathing and being Finding acceptance and appreciation for the bumps, the bounce, the boost, the beliefs
Where I am breathing to be who I am.
And I reach out to my sisters, as they bring me joy in the space they have created for my breakthrough, for my burning fire, for my brilliance.
With my sisters, I find joy in experiencing the b list In sisterhood, I find joy being vulnerable, being vibrant, and not just building bridges for those behind me but boldly and bravely crossing the bridges my sisters have built for me to cross with joy…with joy in every bump, bounce, boost, build, breath we take….as sisters.
With every moment, every moment, every monument of my life I am my sister My sisters are me.
This is not life achieved This is life experienced. And this is joy in our sisterhood
What I did do was give up the things I thought I would never give up. Like giving up the maple bacon I made each weekend prior to 2021, or that all beef patty from any good restaurant that would satisfy my burger craving before 2022, or the coffee roll that accompanied that coffee every other or every day sometimes prior to 2022, or the things I just consumed so much of all the time.
For me, it was small steps on my own time, no plan, no monthly fee, just my commitment to myself, no explanation needed or permission required for me to live healthy, live well and live Soul Satisfied
Joyce DawkinsCrystalD MayoisaNativeNewYorkerbornandraisedintheSouthBronxSheisanactressandstoryteller Herrepertoireof writingspansfrommemoirsandpoetrytochildrensliterature HerliterarycontributionshavebeenpublishedintheBronx MemoirProjectVolumesIII,IVandV Shemostrecentlyperformedoneofhermemoirsentitled, TeachingMeALesson featuredinVolumeVattheCaveattheaterwiththeGenerationWomenensembleTheAfricanVoicestributetoNtozake ShangeandOurVoicesOurStories,ananthologyofWritingsAdvancing,Celebrating,EmbracingandEmpoweringGirlsand WomenofColorthroughtheNationalGirlsandWomenofCouncilInc Crystalsmemoir,WickedBlueswillbefeaturedin theConnecticutLiteraryAnthology2021inOctober WhenCrystalisnotwritingsheservesasamentorfortheNewYork basedorganization,GirlsWriteNow,andcanbeseenperformingherlatestspokenwordandwritingpromptsonthevirtual micstageoftheNYCCoalitionforWriters
I was born with her encased inside my womb over time she breathed and stretched grew as I grew as a little girl I adored her wrapped her in earth toned swaddling clothes rocked, kissed, cradled and counted her tiny fingers and toes and I told her and she told me we are so beautiful by womanhood I disowned her tossed her downstream disregarded her cries and struggles played tone deaf to her screams on quiet days She’d sing to me but I turned outside life up to drown her music with words that gagged and silenced her overtime became abusive I buried pain down deep smothering her nurturing seeds polluted her lungs with anger strangled each breath she breathed
Until one day I lost my first child a stillborn inside my womb The outside world grew silent As she walked into the room her face was red and swollen
her body black and blue Around her arms and legs
hung old swaddling clothes soiled like the bottom of my shoes I ran to embrace her rock my head against her chest Cried in her arms and she in mine Till we intertwined and meshed
And over the years I’ve scraped the rot from her walls stained with guilt and shame then hung them up like still portraits in my gallery of pain restored these paintings into artwork of my inner ancestry
The roots and limbs that redefine who I am Into the woman I am destined to be
Now everyday I bathe her Wrap her in swaddling clothes Grease her scalp Kiss her lips Count all her fingers and toes
Loving every inch of my inner skin Loving my spirit and soul And I tell her And she tells me We are so beautiful
There is a saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Essentially, you can’t be the best at anything if you don’t take care of yourself. Often times, we tend to focus our energy outward while forgetting to nourish ourselves.
What exactly is self care? It is the individual engaging in healthy activities that replenish the mind, body and soul. These can include reading a book, taking a walk, swimming, or enjoying a glass of wine with friends. Self care comes in many forms; intellectual, physical, spiritual, social, etc.
It is easy for us to get so consumed with the care of others; we forget to give love to ourselves. Whether you’re a dedicated CEO, entrepreneur, employee, wife, or mother, self care should be incorporated in your everyday life. It is not a selfish act, as it may feel. It is a necessity for our health and well being.
Saying “NO”, setting boundaries, and developing a work life balance is often foreign to those of us passionate about serving others. As a dedicated therapist, wife, and daughter (among other things), I too need reminders to devote time to my own self care. I would often spend so much time nurturing others throughout the day, I would not have the energy to enjoy life’s simple pleasures.
These days, I take great pleasure in making my days off my own. Even if it’s relaxing on the couch with a hot cup of Traditional Medicinals Organic Tea while I catch up on Chicago MED, and Chicago PD. With a busy weekly schedule, I have grown to appreciate the art of doing nothing.
Prioritizing our self care needs and making them just as important as our careers, serves many rewards. Creating a self care regimen is proven to have positive health benefits, such as decreased levels of stress, and mental/physical exhaustion.
Indulging in self care activities gives us the opportunity to slow down and gain self awareness. It teaches us how to feel good and the factors that contribute to those moments.
NAJAMAH DAVIS, SMITH, MSW, LCSW, CCTS is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over 10 years of experience in the mental health field She is the proud owner of a private practice providing therapeutic services to children and adults. Najamah is also certified in Violence Against Women & Children, School Social Work, and is a Certified Clinical Trauma Specialist
Business Website: https://www.ndcounselingservices.com
We have to SELF-CARE in order to replenish our cup. Make “Enjoying the fruits of your labor”, a way of life.
Sisters, let’s practice being self-full; full of self-love & self-care!
Previously published in an earlier edition of SRI magazine.
When the pandemic hit, I watched as people scrambled around me trying to figure out how to change with all the changes. All of a sudden it felt like everyone needed to know how to work from home, how to homeschool, how to start a home based business, how to create financial security and maintain a sense of normalcy with the help of online technology. On some level we all had to quickly adjust to doing things differently, but on a lot of levels I was already well adjusted and prepared to pivot.
As a work at home mom with an online business that I’ve been building for two decades, I was already accustomed to the digital home-based lifestyle that has now become our new normal. Whether it be a pandemic or some other unexpected life change, there are a few things that you too can do to be prepared to pivot.
BY LASHANDA HENRY
It has been said that “You can always be fired from a job, but if you find your gift, you will never be out of work.” If the recent pandemic has taught us anything, it is that having one job is a liability that can be here today and gone tomorrow. Having multiple streams of income is crucial. As an entrepreneur, if you learn how to monetize your gifts you can always find a way to generate revenue independent of being employed by someone else. Follow this famous saying, “Find three hobbies you love: One to make you money, one to keep you in shape and one to be creative.” If you can find one thing that hits all three, then you’ve truly hit the jackpot!
In the midst of the pandemic, I was able to generate revenue by selling digital products, offering my services as a web designer, mentoring clients, hosting virtual events and promoting other people’s products as an affiliate marketer. All of these income streams are connected to my gifts as a creative, a writer, and someone with a degree in computer science. Learning how to tap into your gifts is like unleashing a superpower that no one can take from you Whether it be a side hustle or full time gig, knowing how to make money without needing a paycheck from anyone else will give you the ability to maintain financial security even in the midst of challenging, uncertain times.
I personally eat, sleep and drink all things business. My main website SistaSense.com is all about me helping others make sense of making money online. Even still, I know that entrepreneurship isn’t for everyone. For this reason, you should also work on building financial security by other means. Consider dabbling in investing, buying property, or simply maintaining good credit in case you ever need to borrow funds. At the very least, you should currently have or work towards having a savings account that can help to keep you afloat for at least three to six months in case of an emergency or times of crisis.
Beyond owning my own business and having multiple streams of income, I’ve also invested my time and money into technology. We all live in a digital world, which means you should invest in a good computer, a webcam, a camera and any other useful electronic device or digital tools that will keep you up with the times. When the pandemic hit, too many people were lost struggling to find sold out tools or learn how to use the internet, use zoom, build a website or seek out other online solutions to address real world restrictions and limitations.
Between closed stores and cancelled events, doing things virtually is practically mandatory. Fortunately for me, working remotely has always been a normal way of life for me.
Point being, if you have yet to truly embrace technology, it’s time to start, so that common online activities don’t leave you flustered, frustrated or left behind.
Call me physic, but just before “Pivot” became a pandemic buzzword, I had self-published a book entitled, “Pivot: 5 Mistakes Entrepreneurs Make and How to Fix them.” One of the things that I share is my belief that successful pivoting requires P I V O TPreparation, Innovation, Visualization, Observation, and Transformation. Every woman who is truly open to doing all of the above should have her own personal survival kit filled with resources, tools, and revenue streams she can tap into at any given time.
If you truly want to be prepared to pivot, start asking yourself the hard questions. What can you do to become financially independent and maintain a level of financial security for you and your family?
What are you doing to stay current when it comes to technology? And are you able to quickly overcome and thrive during unexpected challenges or do you struggle with change? Keep in mind that in life, it is not what happens to you but how you prepare for and handle the things that happen to you that matters most.
LaShanda Henry is an entrepreneur, web designer and online business expert Ms Henry is the founder of SistaSense and the Black Business Women Online Network.
Visit https://www.sistasense.com to learn more.
Download your copy of Pivot for Entrepreneurs at https://www.sistasense.com/pivot
There’s a shift in the black woman ’ s embrace with one another Surrounded by a variety of cultures, ethnicities, and backgrounds, we ate, laughed, cried, and talked on the outside deck of Chevys Mexican Restaurant Towards the end of our meal, a woman from a nearby table boldly approached our table and began not only introducing herself but also complementing us; and yes, she was another black woman She wanted to acknowledge our presence by saying hello, and let us know that we were a beautiful group of women After the exchange of pleasantries, she felt compelled to break out in song right; there on the deck She held a good note, but it was the affirmation she shared that left a lasting impression She proclaimed, “Faith it til you make it,” instead of “Fake it til you make it ” We love it!
As I prepared myself to hit the highways and byways, I smiled at the thought of meeting up with my extended family, my sista’ girls, and good good girlfriends to break bread and catch up. Which, by the way, is one of my favorite things to do; spend time with loved ones and create lasting memories
In today’s climate, what happens once you leave your house is highly unpredictable and true to form as I was out and about, a few profound encounters took place
During our departure from the patio, there sat another table of seven older black women who all smiled and waved as we passed We returned the acknowledgment and I asked, “Is this your girl’s day, too?” They replied, “Yes it most certainly is, and you girls are beautiful ” We returned the compliment and bid them a farewell
The embrace didn’t stop there My last encounter was in Ross While walking through the store, another ‘Sista’ and I walked past one another, and this time our passing was much different from what I would normally encounter This time, when I smiled, she smiled back and even spoke. “How you doing,” she asked. I replied, “I’m good, thank you How are you?” She responded with a pleasant, “I’m good, sis, thank you ”
Far too often, I see black women snarl, purposefully turn their heads, or simply refuse to give one another a pleasant acknowledgement As a black woman, it is disheartening to witness this behavior
I’m not for certain of what's prompting this very welcome change; but if the current events are any indication of the direction we are headed; in the removal of the mean black girl to mean black girl spirit, then I'm here for it, and it’s about time!
During my reflection of the day’s events, I realized that every black woman I encountered acknowledged our existence There were smiles, nods, eye contact and words spoken to say, “I see you sis!”
It was refreshing, and is way overdue for us, to embrace one another, speak to each other or complement each other It’s time for us to stop snarling and rolling our eyes or purposefully turning our heads to avoid a small gesture that says, “I see you, sis ” I’ve been feeling the shift, how about you?
As a Portfolio Entrepreneur, Talva has an array of talents that allow her to dance in many professional arenas. She is a Businesswoman, Author and Ghostwriter with books available for children and adults in her authoring portfolio.
Talva has been featured in several media outlets such as: The National Black Book Festival, The Steven Parker Radio Show, The Writer's Block Podcast, Audio Sorceress Productions, BookMad Digital Magazine; and has been a contributing writer with articles in, She Rocks It Magazine; to name a few.
You can keep up to date with her work through social media and her website.
Links: Website: https://www.ttalva.com/ FB: https://www.facebook.com/talvasbook IG: https://www.instagram.com/talvaauthor/ Dynamic Title: The Black Woman's Embrace Photo Credit: Charlene McKoy IG: imagezbychar
Join in with She ROCKS It and begin to affirm I AM SHE! Start here by using these affirmations. Incorporate them into your daily routine as you move forward to a new year and new you. Be Inspired to Live your Best Life in 2023!
Ladies, Join our Social Group I AM SHE on Facebook! Come be Inspired
TThe nature of it all. Members of team She ROCKS It enjoyed the afternoon photoshoot outdoors, getting up close and personal with nature. These photos capture a small group of the community of women that are part of our team.
People often ask how did we build such a strong supportive team. It's simple; we welcomed women who believed in what we were doing and women who wanted to see us succeed. These women stay with us because we show our appreciation for them. They know their value within our organization, and their contributions are never taken for granted.
The Tribe of Women that Vibe with She ROCKS It.
When you have a group of women who are individually unique, talented, goaloriented, supportive, positive, openminded, visionaries, successful, skilled, like-minded, goal-getters, and most importantly, women who want to see others win, you end up with the group of women that form the SRI DREAM TEAM. Having a team that believes in your brand is key. There is no motive, and they are there for the win! She ROCKS It wouldn't be successful today if it weren't for the Tribe of Women that ROCK with us.
This is just a glimpse of our team. Some of the members were not available for the photo. We honor each of them for their contribution to our organization!
Many professionals in the workforce wake up with the dreaded blues of going to work However, life’s obligations leave us with no other choice than to “make the bacon.” The average working professional spends more than 90,000 hours working during a lifetime. According to a Deloitte Index Survey, 87% of Americans have no passion for their jobs. In other words, more than half of the working population are just going through the motions. Resources are certainly replaceable but the most valuable resource that can never be replaced is time. Time is precious and should be spent both wisely and strategically.
Think back over the last 15 years, what opportunities has your career afforded you? Have you advanced your education? Were you able to put your degree to use? I mean after all, like most ex students, you’re likely still paying for your collegiate education. Perhaps you had a salary adjustment and you were able to purchase a home for your family. Now if your answer is simply, “No, I’ve had little to no opportunities” it’s time for a change.
Before you grit your teeth, change isn’t always bad. In fact, change is exactly what you need in 2020. It’s time to elevate your career. Yes, it’s do able but will require some work on your behalf. First thing’s first, change your mindset. Affirm greatness and you will be great. Cancel thoughts of doubt and focus on all that will be. Even on your toughest days, remember positivity is key!
1. Get out of your way: Today marks the first day in which you take the personal pledge to remove yourself as a career barrier. Understand change starts with you. Acknowledge growth is intended to make you uncomfortable. Embrace your career journey, even the not so pretty days. I promise they’ll be worth it later. I would recommend starting a career journal and document your journey. Capture your emotions when offered an interview and even when you didn’t get the job you really wanted.
2. Assess yourself: What are you really good at? Where are your shortcomings? Success comes easier when you leverage the things you do exceptionally well and make plans to address those things you don’t. When professionals are successful in their careers, they love what they do. When it’s fueled by passion, it rarely feels like work
3. Update your résumé: Your résumé is your professional narrative and certainly, it should tell the best story about you. Ditch the copy and paste of job descriptions résumé and create a story that shows your contributions and how you’ve moved the needle. The job market is very competitive. Position yourself to stand out in the crowd. January and February are the best times to look for a job because budgets have been created for new talent.
4. Hire a career coach: I’m sure the results of your self assessment won’t come as a surprise but perhaps you uncovered some ugly truths. In your discovery, you may have identified what’s hindered your growth. This is the perfect opportunity to hire a coach and propel your career forward. Career coaches are great accountability partners. They help you define career goals and establish your career trajectory. They even help you secure the resources you lack. You don’t know what you don’t know; hire the help you need. As a career coach, I’ve witnessed the professional growth of many of my clients resulting from the investment in themselves.
5. Don’t take no for an answer: When one door closes, another is guaranteed to open. Delay certainly doesn’t mean denied. Make a personal commitment to not give up when things don’t move at your desired pace or if you happen to be told no. Consider the no as a warning sign; better awaits you. This journey requires patience and diligence. Good luck!
"Prepare for greatness and embrace the changes. Rome wasn’t built in a day and success doesn’t happen overnight. You have to plan the work and work the plan. Use these next few weeks to create a dynamic career growth strategy".
I am an author, inspirational speaker, and serial entrepreneur dedicated to helping women overcome trauma and hardships in their lives and find the way of love, forgiveness, and healing as they allow God to take first place. In my profession, I serve as a Licensed Illinois Realtor for Keller Williams Inspire. Empowering women to push past their hard seasons and fight until they pursue is at the core of everything.
in t en rt s he d r wn o n go e e ory e
She ROCKS It is grateful for the women who have supported SRI Magazine these last 2 years. These are just a few of the beautiful faces that have supported the magazine and who have been featured in past editions. We truly appreciate their support.
She ROCKS It is an organization purposely designed to host events that honor and empower women everywhere. Our Mission is to provide a platform where women can come together, celebrate each other, Network, Be Inspired, Be Empowered, Be Motivated, and Be Encouraged to share who SHE is. She ROCKS It is an organization that supports and acknowledges the success of women by using our platform to spotlight them.
She ROCKS It is dedicated to creating events that give women an unforgettable experience. Our events are created with today’s woman in mind. We craft events that empower women to live their best life by showing the world who SHE is. We invite all women to join us for one of our many events held throughout the year.
She ROCKS It is the organization where SHE belongs. Follow us on all social media platforms. We invite you to attend our upcoming events. Visit www.sherocksit.com for the latest event information.
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