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Parent Circle
Relationships I Health I Nature I Culture I Learning I Activities
editorial
For the Parent in you To know, to understand, to connect
E
very year, my children’s school in the US set aside a special Grandparents Day. Grandparents were invited to visit the school and spend half a day, visiting the classrooms and doing activities with the children. Later they were entertained with a special show performed by the children for
them. I had the privilege of organising these events and it was always such a joy to see the excitement on the faces of both the children and the grandparents, as the children proudly showed off their classrooms, their work, their friends and their teachers. It was very moving to watch the joyful interactions between the children and their doting grandparents. I too, have very fond memories of my own grandmothers. I remember playing ‘Dhaayam’ and ‘Omali Gunta’ (traditional board games) with my paternal grandmother and listening to her stories. When we were away in school she would collect ‘Binaca charms’ (small plastic animals) for us. I still have these charms, which I treasure very much. My maternal grandmother was a source of strength for the whole family. Whenever I was frustrated and upset with my parents, I would run to her, seeking
Find us on
comfort and solace. I miss them both very much. This issue is dedicated to Grandparents everywhere, in celebration of Grandparents Day on September 11th. Read our cover story ‘A Tribute to Grandparents’ to see what roles today’s grandparents play in the lives of their grandchildren. September 5th is Teacher’s Day. In our feature ‘The Teacher as the Guru’, we examine the evolution of the teacher’s role in the education of the child, from the days of the Gurukulam to what it is today. September is the beginning of our festival season, starting with Vinayakar Chathurthi on September 1st. Our special feature on ‘The Changing Face of Traditions’, talks about the various traditions that have evolved in different cultures as part of festival celebrations. We also discuss the importance of evolving your own family traditions, be it a family game night every Friday evening or a trip to Grandma’s every Deepavali. I like to leave you to explore this issue with a tribute to grandparents everywhere: Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children. ~ Alex Haley
Nalina Ramalakshmi PUBLISHER & EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Nalina Ramalakshmi
CREATIVE HEAD Rangashree Srinivas
HEAD - OPERATIONS Neeta Kamath
MANAGING EDITOR Nitya Varadarajan
VISUALISER G Swarupa
SENIOR EDITOR - COPY DESK Shashwathi Sandeep
GRAPHIC DESIGNER M Ravisankar
ADVERTISING General Manager S Visalam Assistant Manager G Suresh Kumar
CONTENT COORDINATOR Asita Haq
PRODUCTION CONSULTANT Poochi Venkat ADMINISTRATION Sheeja Sasindran
CIRCULATION C Ganesh S Thirumalai SUBSCRIPTION Dolly Preethi Martina M
PUBLISHED BY Nalina Ramalakshmi Director, Shri Harini Media Pvt. Ltd. (A Ramco Group Associate) 8/14, First Cross Street, Karpagam Gardens, Adyar, Chennai 600020 PRINTED BY R Dhayalan, Sun Graphics, 51, Gangai Amman Koil Street, Vadapalani, Chennai 600026 To advertise in this magazine call 044 24461066/67/68 or email advertise@parentcircle.in
Parent Circle is published by Nalina Ramalakshmi, Director, Shri Harini Media Pvt. Ltd. All editorial material including editorial comments, opinions and statement of facts appearing in this publication, represent the views of its respective authors and does not necessarily carry the endorsement of the publishers. Information carried in Parent Circle is gathered from sources considered to be reliable, but the accuracy of all information cannot be guaranteed. The publication of any advertisements or listings is not to be construed as an endorsement of the product or service offered.
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SPECIAL P.12
The Changing Face of Traditions RESOURCES COVER STORY P.24
A Tribute to
Grandparents
50
PARENT CHEF Grandma’s Recipes
52
CHECK IT OUT Pick a Flick
56
HANDS ON Paper House
58
EVENTS Chennai this Month
FORUM
REGULARS IN FOCUS
4
YOUR WORD
18
ROOTS Navaratri Celebrations Across India
8
PARENT EXPRESS The Need for a Sibling
20
MINDSET Myths About Discipline
54
VIEWPOINT The Abhimanyu Syndrome
22
HEALTH CIRCLE Tackling Respiratory
59
DISCUSSION POINT Strict or Lenient Teachers?
60
LIGHTER VEIN Time Out
6
Infections in Children
32
FEATURE The Teacher as the Guru
40
LEARNING Math: Go from Nay to Yay!
42
VALUES Adopting the Right Attitude Towards Food
44
TEEN CIRCLE Tackling Substance Abuse in Teens
48
DESTINATIONS A Kaleidoscopic View of Kanyakumari
ON THE COVER MEGHA CHINNAPPA AND HER GRANDMOTHER MUTHAMMA PHOTOGRAPH BY ARJUN DOGRA
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Parent Circle / September 2011
P.30
A few Chennai grandparents and grandchildren
your word
Letters to the Editor The magazine is very interesting. All the articles are equally good. In the latest issue, I liked the article on
I am extremely happy that you have brought out a magazine exclusively for the parents. The cover of your August issue is beautiful. It is the teenage children who have to be given great importance. They are confused, as there is a
Tech Talk where they gave the websites which are
transformation going on in their mental makeup.
helpful for studies. I can relate to it as I have two
Parents need to act as a guiding spirit, to help them.
grown up children and this is very useful for them. I
I am simply at a loss to pick an article which is not
also like the recipe pages very much.
outstanding. You have been able to compile
S PRAVEENA, mother of two children
interesting and thought provoking articles.
Each and everything about this magazine is very nice.
SUDHA KASTURIRANGAN, Teacher
I like the way the articles are written. We get a lot of information and tips on parenting our kids. The
Wow! What a magazine! The other day when I went to
photographs used are also nice and bring a smile on
Nilgris store, I saw this magazine in the stands. I really
one’s face. I also have seen the recipes page. I would
liked it. PARENT CIRCLE can be read by the young and
love to try out all those dishes but I have not yet found
the old parents. It is an ideal magazine for parents of
the time.
school going children. I have recommended the
DR KRISHNAPRIYA, mother of two children
all success.
just one issue of the magazine. Right from the cover
S GANESHAN
to the photographs used and the articles, they are really good. The article on pre-school in the last issue
I just completed the magazine from cover to cover. I
was very relevant and useful for me as I have just
came through the magazine while I was glancing
started sending my daughter to pre-school. The page
through the magazine shelves in Landmark. The
on Events is Chennai oriented. I live in Mysore and it
name PARENT CIRCLE attracted me. After going
really does not matter to me here about what is happening in Chennai. It should include other cities too. LATHA RAGHUNATH, mother of two children In the Events section you only give the events in Chennai. What about the rest of the country? I think that you should include events in other cities so that we will be aware of what is happening in our city (Bangalore) as well. Apart from that, the other
Please send in your letter with the subject line “Letters to the Editor”, before September 15, 2011, to editorial@ parentcircle.in or send them to PARENT CIRCLE, 3rd Floor Shri Renga Vihar, 8/14 First Cross St, Karpagam Gardens, Adyar, Chennai 600020, India.
4
magazine to many of my friends. I wish the magazine
I have just started subscribing and have gone through
through each and every article, I really thought that the money spent was worthwhile and I will continue to buy it in the future. I have always wondered how to approach my son to make him sing rhymes, paint etc. The article on identifying a child’s learning style gave me the idea that it is easy for me to approach him from his point of view.
sections are pretty interesting. I particularly like the
Regarding preschools, I am certain that I’ ll put him in
‘Check it Out’ section; it gives so much information on
the best preschool available. I never knew that there
the books we could make our children read. Most of
were so many checks to be made to find a good
the articles are really good and so are the
school for my dear son. I am sure that the prevention
photographs. The recipes section too is
aspects of dental problems highlighted in your
very interesting. RANJANA AJITKUMAR, mother of a 6-year-old
*Editor’s response: We really appreciate the fact that we have readers like you subscribing out of Bangalore and Mysore and giving us your valuable feedback. At the moment, we are Chennai-centric in terms of the bulk of our circulation. But we are planning to expand to other centres in the country and we will get more broadbased in our events.
Parent Circle / September 2011
Health article will be noted by parents like me who want their children to be healthy. RAJESWARI VEERAVEL, mother of a 2-year-old boy
SHUTTERSTOCK IMAGES
special
the changing face of
L
Saritha Rao Rayachoti
Traditions ike anything else in life, even
extended family join in the festivities. The
as we try to recreate our own childhood
traditions are not static. Changing
resplendence of firecrackers, the delight
memories of the occasion. Still, tradition is
times are resulting in the death of
of buying a new doll for display before
an important cornerstone in bringing the
some practices, or in the
Navaratri or the special taste of a
family together.
modifying of existing practices.
Christmas plum cake lingers on in
New ones evolve, or sometimes existing
one’s memory.
traditions are deeply examined and
Where have those days gone?
better understood!
tradition and festivals There are so many facets to tradition,
Shanthi laments, “Today, festivals like
“When I was a child, a week before
from religious ceremonies that mark the
Deepavali are mostly spent in front of the
Deepavali, my sister and I would divide
rites of passage to evolving a family
television. Nobody is waking up early.
the firecrackers between us and keep
tradition unique to a particular family.
Children do not want to burst firecrackers.
them out to dry when the sun came out,”
Celebrating festivals is only one aspect of
Depending on the age, they are either
says Shanthi Ramkumar, mother of two
tradition, but a very important one.
scared, or they think that it is not
boys. “We had about two or three days’
environment friendly, or a waste of
leave at school. We would be so excited
money. We cannot even take the car out
“It is our custom handed down to us from
that we would not sleep all night
for fear of damage from firecrackers. The
generations before us,” says Nithya
before Deepavali,” she says.
only charm left of the concept, are the
Madhavan, “we have to teach our children
new clothes. ”
that this is how we follow our religious
Talk to any parent about traditional
Why do people celebrate festivals?
practices.”
festivals in their childhood, and you can
Our children live in a different world than
be sure to find a wistful smile as they
the one we so fondly remember. Perhaps
Priya Srikanth has two daughters who are
recount the simplicity of life before
our nostalgia plays a major part in the way
enthusiastic participants in the festival
television and the delight of having one's
we involve our children in festivities even
arrangements in the house. Priya says,
12 Parent Circle / September 2011
ARJUN DOGRA
cover story
a tribute to
grandparents! T
101 year old Janaki Ammal enjoys a game of carrom with her great grandson Sharan, his mother and his grandmother.
Rangashree Srinivas
he average Indian grows up
surrounded by relatives. Every
family has an elderly head who
What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humour, comfort, lessons in life. And, most importantly, cookies. RUDOLPH GIULIANI 24 Parent Circle / September 2011
is propitiated when an
important family event takes place.
ONE BIG FAMILY With both parents working, the best care for children can come only from grandparents. If the grandparents are willing and fit, these parents can consider
Grandparents not very long ago, were
themselves blessed. Uma Maheswari,
also important decision makers. The
Senior Associate - HR, Ford, is very
dynamics have shifted significantly with
happy in her joint family set-up. Her family
the onset of nuclear families and
(husband Vinoth, two children Tharika,
geographical distances separating the
4 1/2 years and Reya, 6 months old) and
grandparents from their children
her brother-in-law’s family (spouse and a
and grandchildren.
new-born) all live together with her
What is the role of an elder in the family today? When we look at some urban families, we find that grandparental roles
parents-in-law. The grandparents J Kasturi and Jayaraman are 63 years old, enjoy good health and love children!
vary from being primary care givers
She says “My parents-in-law are both
to-seldom-seen-long-distance relatives.
educated and very systematic in their
And everything in-between!
habits. This ensures a clean and
disciplined environment for my children”.
are rather dusky. One day Tharika
Uma is out working from 7.45 a.m until
commented that her grandma was brown.
8.30 p.m. At home, she ensures that the
This upset the older lady. Uma used this
homework is done, and that the uniforms
opportunity to explain to both her daughter
and shoes of the children are in place.
and mother-in-law, that such physical
Tharika’s grandparents wake her up,
attributes were God-given and should be
bathe and feed her and get her ready for
accepted as a gift. “Tharika has taken this
school. Her grandfather takes her by cycle
so much to heart that she even refuses to
to school. “She enjoys the ride and my
call coffee brown,” laughs Uma.
GRANDPARENTS 4Take interest in your grandchildren’s
Uma, on her part takes care not to
4Develop your own interests and try to
father-in-law says that he gets his work-out! They both know the children’s likes and dislikes and ensure that they have a happy environment”.
converse with her daughter in English at home, as her in-laws are not very
Bridging the gap what grandparents, parents and grandchildren can do
interests. involve your grandchildren in them without forcing them.
conversant in the language. “I do not want
On the flip side, there are issues like
4If you have to take care of your
the children to think that their
grandchildren, work in tandem with their
controlling the upbringing of the children.
grandparents are in any way less
parents. Discuss ahead and resolve
For instance, Uma has recently objected
knowledgeable than us,” she says.
differences of opinion.
to the number of presents being showered
4Focus on the positive and keep your
take these gifts for granted and will not
CONNECTING WITH GRANDCHILDREN
appreciate their value. Little Tharika for
Senior management consultant MS
maintain friendships, even if it is only by
instance,says, “Daddy does not get me
Jayaraman (70) and his self-help
telephone.
anything, only Chithapa (dad’s younger
consultant and writer wife Rukmani
brother) does.”
Jayaraman (63) are erudite grandparents
Uma also feels that Tharika should learn
of Gitika, 10 years and Dhriti, 7 years.
on them. She feels that the children will
to complete her home-work on her own with the elders only guiding her. If the child exhibits a reluctance to write, my
They feel an inexplicable disconnect with their granddaughters, who live in Singapore. They blame it on a lack of exposure to home culture and language.
sense of humour.
4Avoid isolation. Make an effort to
PARENTS 4Openly acknowledge the grandparents’ support in raising your children.
4Treat the elderly with respect and patience. Your children will follow suit
hand and make her write.
Though the grandparents are extremely
4Include grandparents in family fun. 4Discuss family issues and allow them
“The adults in any family should make
fluent in English, they find it difficult to talk
to air their views. Their rich experience
about their own childhood stories in an
may give you a new perspective.
alien language. In Jayaraman’s home-
4Encourage and facilitate the elderly to
office, the words are boldly written
develop their own interests and
–‘Teach Dhriti Tamil!’
social circles.
Jayaraman also says “The mythological tales we accepted without question are
GRANDCHILDREN 4Spend at least 10 minutes quality time
hard for today’s children to digest. I have
with your live-in grandparents every day.
to tone down the violence a great deal.”
4Insist on visiting grandparents living
When he told them that Lakshmana
elsewhere, every fortnight/ every
scraped Soorphanakha’s nose just a wee
quarter/ every year depending on
bit because he was angry, Gitika retorted
the distance.
‘That’s not a nice thing to do’. “How does
4Keep in touch through letters and
mother-in-law would rather that I grab her
sure that everyone is valued for what they are,” says Uma. For example, her mother-in-law would always highlight people’s complexions as fair or dark. While Tharika and Reya are both fair complexioned, the other family members
Reya and Tharika with their grandparents
one argue with that?”, he asks. At the same time, the Jayaramans are full of admiration for the
phone calls.
4Share your ideas and interests with grandparents.
4Encourage them to be as active as possible, depending on their state of
grandchildren’s
health. Every now and then, involve
intelligence, quick grasp
them in outdoor activities that
and creativity!8
you enjoy.
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