editorial
For the Parent in you To know, to understand, to connect
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oday, more and more women are entering the workforce, either for financial reasons or because of their passion and interest, or in order to forge a career for themselves. Yet, they continue to bear the major responsibilities on the home front – taking care of children and elderly parents, meal preparation and other household chores. The resulting stress and anxiety can easily take their toll on these women as they strive to strike a work-life balance. These women hold the key to our future by nurturing our children to take on the reins of the world. Therefore, their well-being is essential to the well-being of our world. It is time that we acknowledge and respect these women for all the work they do – both inside and outside the home. Corporates and government should adopt policies and support services to help women achieve a positive work-life balance.
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In our cover story ‘Family-Friendly Workplaces: Options for the Working Woman’, we have talked to several working women as well as corporates that are leading the way in establishing family-friendly policies at work. These policies have not only helped improve employee retention rates, they have also helped boost the spirits and morale of the employees. Children too need a place to call their own, a place where they can do their own thing – from quiet reading to playful pranks to creative arts. Our special, ‘A Room of their Own’, gives ideas and tips on how to go about planning this special place for your child. Often, the questions children ask, particularly with regard to their bodies and how babies are born, can make you blush and want to brush the question away. But in today’s world, where information is freely available at the touch of a button, isn’t it better that your child gets his answers directly from you rather than from an unreliable source that inappropriately glamorizes or derogates sex and one’s body? Read our article ‘Educating Your Child about Sex’ to see how you can approach this sensitive topic with your child in a matter-of-fact way. I leave you to explore this issue with a thought: “Do not ask that your kids live up to your expectations. Let your kids be who they are, and your expectations will be in breathless pursuit.” ~Robert Brault
NALINA RAMALAKSHMI PUBLISHER & EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Nalina Ramalakshmi MANAGING EDITOR Nitya Varadarajan ASSISTANT EDITOR Chitra Satyavasan SENIOR EDITOR - COPY DESK Shashwathi Sandeep CONTENT COORDINATOR Asita Haq
CREATIVE HEAD Rangashree Srinivas SENIOR DESIGNER G Swarupa GRAPHIC DESIGNER M Ravisankar PRODUCTION CONSULTANT S Venkataraaman ADMINISTRATION Sheeja Sasindran
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Parent Circle is published by Nalina Ramalakshmi, Director, Shri Harini Media Pvt. Ltd. All editorial material including editorial comments, opinions and statement of facts appearing in this publication, represent the views of its respective authors and does not necessarily carry the endorsement of the publishers. Information carried in Parent Circle is gathered from sources considered to be reliable, but the accuracy of all information cannot be guaranteed. The publication of any advertisements or listings is not to be construed as an endorsement of the product or service offered.
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contents
RESOURCES 52
PARENT CHEF Chocolate Special
54
CHECK IT OUT World Cinema
FORUM 6
COVER STORY
26
Family-Friendly Workplaces OPTIONS FOR THE WORKING WOMAN
YOUR WORD
56
YOUR IDEAS Every Trick in the Book
58
VIEWPOINT Little Ways to Cut Your
60
DISCUSSION POINT How Responsive are
REGULARS 8
LEARNING Bookmaking: A Cognitive and
Creative Process
11
LEARNING Everyday Experiments!
12
MINDSET Educating Your Child about Sex
18
TEEN CIRCLE 10 Ways to Focus Your
Teen’s Wandering Mind
24
CAREERS A Career in Interior Designing
34
FEATURE The Great Indian Holiday
40
NUTRITION Diet and Digestion
42
HEALTH CIRCLE Care for Your Child’s Hair
48
MONEY WISE Make your child learn
50
about money
ROOTS Of Gods, Goblins and Gopurams
ON THE COVER VINITHRA SEKHAR WITH TAMIRA PHOTOGRAPH BY ALPESH VEKARIA
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Parent Circle / July 2012
Carbon Footprint
SPECIAL
Schools to Parents?
20
A Room of their Own DESIGNING SPACES FOR YOUR CHILD
your word
ear p. H
ts! r e p x he E
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Letters to the Editor
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Just
I find the articles very interesting, with relevant examples provided. ‘Your Ideas’ is a brilliant section you have introduced. Please continue with it as it helps the other parents too. The Rajiv Menon interview was a good read. I found it very relevant and nice. The recipe section is the only section, which I feel, does not go well with the other articles. The other articles are related to parenting issues and the recipes are not connected with this in any way. KALPANA RAJIV, Chennai
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I enjoyed the cover story on transition, with its indepth coverage, in the June issue. The father’s day centrespread provided interesting insights on what children think about their fathers. E V BHANUKUMAR, Bangalore
Enjoy reading a variety of articles related to parenting in our ARTICLES section!
I liked the recipe section a lot in the June issue. I tried out a few recipes which came out really well. I find the ‘Check it Out’ section very useful as it helps me get appropriate books for my child. R LAKSHMI, Chennai I like the presentation of your articles with relevant illustrations. I also like the quality of the paper you use in the magazine. I find the tips and resources at the end of the articles very helpful. RITA RAMESH, Chennai Good to know that you have completed a year. Overall, I find the content interesting and useful. There are many new ideas. I find the articles relevant as they carry practical tips and solutions. The Learning section is also interesting. UMA RAGHAVAN, Chennai
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Parent Circle / July 2012
feature
The Great Indian Holiday AN NRI VACATION BY RANGASHREE SRINIVAS
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wo-year-old Aryan’s parents, Preethi and Ashok, brought him to India for a trip ‘back home’. His parents were very excited about USborn Aryan’s first visit to India, as were his grandparents and a host of other relatives on both sides of the family. Temple visits, thulabharams* and at least two mottais** were planned for him, besides a trip to see the Taj Mahal. The parents, both IT professionals, had just about a month to spare; so the trip was packed back-to-back. Cherubic Aryan’s first impression of India was a complex canvas of smells, colours and searing heat. Swinging between the discomforts of unexpected sensations to the joys of being cuddled by loving arms, Aryan fell ill. Though the locality was largely insect-free, the mosquito brigade zeroed in to feast on the new arrival. An allergic reaction set off a rash, forcing Aryan and his parents to stay at home in air-conditioned comfort.
34 Parent Circle / July 2012
Most Indians who live abroad yearn to return to their homeland. But they are beset with problems. The parents are usually first or second generation NRIs; for their children, India remains a foreign country. This, despite the best efforts parents make to familiarize their children about the ‘homeland’. Distant memories of an idyllic childhood are replaced with a culture shock as adults meet a different India. What do NRI families expect from their great Indian holiday?
FAMILY, FAMILY, FAMILY Most NRIs say that they visit India to be with their family and friends. Nineteenyear-old Aditya’s mother Ramalakshmi Dilip has been living in the US for the last eight years. “I don’t get to spend much time with my extended family. If I attend someone’s marriage, I get to see my extended family,” she says. For Aditya, the holiday means visiting his birthplace.
Lata Hariharan, mother of teenagers Tejus and Rachna, says that being with family is the primary reason why she visits India every year. Her children love meeting her siblings and the paternal and maternal grandparents. Mohan Sreenivasan, a second generation NRI who lives in Qatar, says that his son Abhinav (16) and daughter Ananya (11) look forward to meeting their grandparents and relatives, travelling in trains, and eating out at restaurants. He feels that the cost of visiting India every year is nothing compared to the joy of being with loved ones.
INDIA IS...
Aditya enjoying a dhaba meal with his mother, aunt and uncle
“Such a lively place with something going on every minute,” declares 18-year-old Shreya. During her stay, she volunteered at an orphanage. Her mother Radhika says that though her children rarely get bored in India, their summer vacations never coincide with the Indian vacations. The summer camps in India are over by the time they come visiting. Keeping her children occupied is a challenge. “We
used to make them attend tennis and swimming classes here. Sometimes, they meet their friends from the US who are in India for vacation. I wish there were workshops for NRI children during the July/August vacation,” she says. Shama Vishwanathan’s children, Kavi (14) and Kavya (9), have mixed feelings about visiting India. It is a mix of fun and boredom for them. Shama loves spending time with her family but thinks it is not much fun for the children. “Summer to them means the pool or the beach, and hanging out with friends. Since these options are limited in India, they get bored. For how long can they watch TV? They do not want to go out as it is either too hot or crowded. Maybe I should bring them more often so that they adapt better,” says Shama. “I wish there were activities involving art, music or outdoor sports. But I try not to over-engage the kids during summer, as they have enough activities during the school year. It is up to them to make the most of their time in India,” she adds. Lata plans trips to museums, zoos, temples, restaurants and takes her children shopping. She plans to involve her daughter in an NGO activity this summer. “India has so much variety and culture between the different states and communities. It is hard to expose this to children in a short visit. Ideally, I would like an engaging way to show a snapshot of the culture of different
Lata Hariharan and family
states - almost like the Taman Mini recreational park of Indonesia,” says Lata.
TERRIFIED OF... While most NRIs ‘brave’ their India visits cheerfully, some are terrified of bugs and other such inconveniences. Kavi and Kavya are horrified of mosquitoes, crowds, people coming too close, and wet bathrooms. Ramalakshmi worries about road accidents. “Because of too many people and the way people drive in India, I am always worried about my son’s presence in India,” she shudders. Radhika Srinivas has a solution to one problem. “Earlier, whenever we visited India with our young children, health was a major concern. They fell sick during the first two visits. But the trick is to keep coming to make them immune to the environment,” she says.
LIVING IN INDIA
Radhika Srinivas and family
Radhika Srinivas has lived in the US since the early 90s. Her family moved to India in 2008 and is now relocating to the US for professional and educational reasons. Her teenage daughters, Shreya and Divya, found it difficult to adjust to the culture. Radhika feels that visiting India and living here are two different things. “When I lived in India, I was not inclined and did not visit the US even once. But while living in the US, I had a great yearning to visit India every other year. I am sure our four-year stay here will help my daughters forge a strong bond with India,” she says.
Meera Gopinath, 17 years I am a first generation NRI as my parents grew up in India and I was born in the US. I have lived all my life in the US. When I was younger, I visited India every other year, but I haven’t been to India for the last four-five years. In India, I try to meet my extended family as much as possible. I have not seen too many places in India, but plan to do so in the future. I WORRY ABOUT falling ill and dirty bathrooms. I have also become more conscious of my accent. I SPEND TIME with cousins, watch a movie, read a book, or watch TV if everyone else is busy. I don’t like the heat and also the times when no one is at home. I LOOK FORWARD to experiencing something different from my usual surroundings. I guess my expectations are in sync with my parents’, although they might want to do other things like visiting temples.
Most NRI children do not think that they will ever live in India. “I love Indian culture, the idea of tradition and structure in India which is very different from that of the US. But, I don’t think I would ever permanently want to live in India because I am used to the US,” says 17-year-old Meera Gopinath from Ohio.8 *Thulabharam: The ceremony where the devotee takes a vow and makes an offering of sugar, coconut, butter, coconut water, gold, silver, copper or flowers equivalent to his weight, usually at the Guruvayoor Sri Krishna Temple. **Mottai: A shaving-the-head ceremony related either to a custom or to a vow, done in an ancestral temple or other temples of choice.
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feature
What to do when in India DRESS Pack loose-fitting light cottons for the usual vacation period of July to September. During this period, most places in India experience hot and humid weather with the onset of monsoons. Wear long pants and longsleeved shirts to protect the skin from insect bites. Accessorize with a cotton scarf or dupatta, versatile as a head cover against sun or rain and a mask to protect you from dust. While walking in infested areas, pull up your socks over your pant cuffs and don’t forget to shower at the earliest. To walk down streets, wear comfortable open-toed sandals or slippers.
HEALTH
Research the common infections prevalent in your place of visit in India and get your child vaccinated. Bring along some natural insect repellent sprays.
FOOD AND WATER If your child is fussy about foods, it is advisable to bring along some snacks, cereals or other favourites. Today most cities have specialized stores that sell imported food items, though they can be quite expensive. Drink only mineral water from reputed brands. It is advisable to consume milk from tetrapacks or to drink boiled milk, fresh from a cow if there is one at home! Be careful about eating out. Ensure that the food is prepared and handled in a hygienic manner. It is better to eat
36 Parent Circle / July 2012
Namrata Sampath, 13 years
cooked vegetables and fruits. When using fresh fruits or vegetables, peel the skin or thoroughly wash them before consuming them.
ENJOY A SLICE OF LIFE Encourage
I was born, and have lived, in San Diego since 1999. I visit India once every four years to meet family and friends. I have quite a few cousins, uncles, aunts and of course, my grandparents! I enjoy the visit as the environment is different. I look forward to playing games with my cousins. I read the newspaper, and help thatha with his crossword and sudoku. I fear unclean bathrooms the most. And, there is a small chance that you might fall off an autorickshaw!
No, I don’t think I will relocate to India. But my dad says your children to try don’t ever say ‘never’ as two of his best friends have out different modes moved to India! of transport from a bullock cart or Delhi from the Rashtrapati Bhavan to a horse-drawn the Red Fort to Gandhi Smriti to name cart, to the local a few. bus or a cycle rickshaw or trains. Golconda Fort and Salarjung museum Send your teen on a in Hyderabad display architectural relics cycling trip with other local youngsters. and memorabilia from the Mughal period up to British era. Try out different foods like chaat, local cuisine and farm food from hygienic Dakshina Chitra, near Chennai, has eateries. Avoid street food even at the full-scale models of traditional homes risk of being labelled snobbish. from all southern states that reveal interesting stories of how our ancestors Savour life at a small village near the lived centuries ago. Local craftsman not city of your stay - preferably your only demonstrate the making of their ancestral village. For instance, even if crafts, but also allow visitors to try their there is running water in the bathroom, hand at making them. enjoy at least one family bath near the well or under the pump set! Drink Monetary museum and museum ship tender coconut water and sleep under Vikrant in Mumbai give you a glimpse the stars if the weather is clear. of the Indian economy and sea warfare.
SNAPSHOTS Most Indian cities boast of nearby attractions that allow a peek into culture. Some of them are: Dilli Haat near New Delhi which has authentic craft and food stalls from northern and western India. There are several historic sites and museums in
Nrityagram Village near Bengaluru pays homage to all classical dance forms of India. Shantiniketan near Kolkata houses the famed Viswa-Bharati University founded by Rabindranath Tagore. Shantiniketan is a must-see for your family to understand the cultural side of eastern India. n
feature
, Ananth Rangan
The most amazing thing in
9 years, US
India!
Aditi Sri ram,
4 years, Japan
t at the gentle gian Elephants! I met m when I near Kumbakona e pl m te an pp Uppilia some bananas ars old. I fed him was about 5 ye feed him more! and wanted to
I love meeting my cousins in India. I don’t get to pl ay with many ch ildren in Japan. Here, it is so much fu n!
Saisri & Prashanthi Rayapa ti,
9 years, US
The most amazin g thing that we sa w in India is the beautif ul Taj Mahal.
38 Parent Circle / July 2012
Shreya & Saanvi Arva l,
7½ & 5 years, US
We get to eat biry ani wherever we go. We can travel in au torickshaws and on bikes. In our Amam ma’s house, there are two dogs and so many helpers at home. We love go ing there.
Tara Prasad,
11 years, London
The most amazing thing I saw in India was when I was swimming in the pool at the Taj Hotel in Bangalore. The pool was surrounded by lots of old trees and at sunset, there were bats flying around. It felt like I was swimming in the middle of a jungle! I also love the Indian summer as in London it almost rains all the time!
Sheena and Shirin Deepak,
US 8-year-old twins,
in India, Shirin: I love my family stuff! Indian food and Indian d the an ach be Sheena: I love the ds. san the shells that I can pick off
Esran Nilakanta Douma,
8 years, Netherlan
ds
In India, I love the auto ricks haw rides, and bath from a bu taking cket of water and a mug. It’ to see railway s amazing s stations so fu ll of people. I watching the lo ve trains at the st ations.
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