Be-Attitudes of Speech: ABCs of Vocal Image by Shulie Gib

01 Contents

Acknowledgements 2 Speech is a gift. 3 Be yourself! 4 Be interesting. 5 Be well spoken. 7 Be sexy. 8 Be powerful. 9 Be confident. 10 Be heard. 11 Be marketable. 12 Be competent. 13 Be courageous. 14 Be understood. 15 Be expressive. 16 Be an athlete. 17 Be meaningful. 18 Be relevant. 19 Be concise. 20 Now what? 21 Give credit where credit is due 22 About the Author 23

My sentiments are:

Acknowledgements

Dedication…. This book is dedicated to all my clients that have challenged me and inspired me at the same time! Each new person I encounter and serve in turn teaches me something me something new about the world and myself. Communication and speech in its fabulous connecting power allows us to travel to places in this world we would not ordinarily go. On any given day, I could travel to NYC, Louisiana, Sri Lanka, Vietnam or Trinidad without ever getting on a plane. I am committed to helping the world find their voice and communicate better! And Gratitude… I am so happy to have the support of my family and friends. Thanks to Kenya Vaughn, Robin Gibson, India Gibson, Clarence White, Heather Wiilson, Berniece Davis and Jesse Young who said my words should definitely be a book when I was thinking of a blog. Actually, it might have gotten trapped on my hard drive with the other ideas. Thanks for being my sounding board and the coaching/cheer staff for Team Shulie!!!! Thanks to Ca’Rhonda (Great kid sis. She has such greatness within her), Mac, Chelsea and Francis who jumped in during the clutch to help with illustrations and push me across the finish line. Thanks to my high school English teacher, Linda Dupree, who read, edited and gave her seal of approval. Mrs. Dupree was my first speech coach. She taught me how correctly pronounce “hurry” and introduced me to inspirational quotes. Thanks to my mom and late father and grandmother who gave me life, unshakeable foundation, creative genes, a spirit to help, love and lead. I have awesome support! Thank God for giving me vision and giving me answers to help people overcome speech challenges.

Be-Attitudes of Speech: ABCs of Vocal Image

Speech is a gift that is meant to connect people. Speech allows you to share who you are and

“Speech is the mirror of the soul; as a man speaks, so he is.” -Publilius Syrus

what you believe. If you want to succeed at sharing these thoughts and beliefs, it is important to share ideas and information that will engage, influence and inspire others. Secondly, repeat and remember one simple thing: “It’s not about me.” Always remember when speaking publicly, you are speaking for the benefit of the listener, not for yourself. Speakers consistently self-sabotage before they even speak. They focus too much on themselves and not enough on the experience or message they wish to express. Vocal image teaches speakers to get out of their heads and speak from the heart. After all, it’s not about you. It’s about the purpose and opportunity to inspire, motivate and impact someone else in a way that activates his or her gifts, thoughts and creativity. Sharing your knowledge through the gift of speech can make others better. In turn, hopefully the receiver can pass it on to others. We have so many treasures hidden inside that often die with us due to our fears. Be-attitudes of speech are proclamations, which represent the ideals and concepts upon which speakers should focus in order to have a pleasant and productive speaking experience. Be verbs represent a state of being. Another form of a be proclamation is an “I am” statement. Each human comes equipped with a unique set of attributes. We each have needs but we also each have inborn qualities from which we can contribute to others. The long road to discovering purpose is looking outward for something that can only be found inwardly. Even in the speaking world, those who aspire to be great speakers tend to look to those who they feel have accomplished that task. The worst mistake is to try to mimic what you see when you have already been given what you need to succeed.

04 Be yourself !

Say, “Stop!” No really, say,” Stop it!” Be yourself! To be authentic as a speaker, be yourself and hone the skill of speaking. If you have a speech challenge fix it or live with it, but decide because right now it’s interfering with your state of being…it shows in your attitude. Sadly, many people live a life of mediocrity simply because of FEAR. In order to be a successful speaker, assess three important components through the ASK method. A is for Attitude. One’s attitude can be influenced or shaped by circumstances, experiences, environment, history and culture. Attitude is often the single greatest hindrance. Attitude addresses the emotional and internal component. I refer to attitude as the inside job. It includes how you feel about yourself, your experience, and/or the listener. S is for Skill. This includes your ability to learn, execute and master the technical aspects of speech such as breathing, projection, articulation, etc. K is for Knowledge. First and foremost, know your content. It is important to be aware of your body and speech mechanisms as well as your strengths and weaknesses as a speaker. It also includes awareness of resources, techniques and/ or approaches to assist you on your journey. The ABCs are a roadmap or guide to be assimilated into your daily life and bring out the best of who you are. When you feel confident in who you are and what you offer your audience, you will feel more at ease in speaking situations. Don’t try to take them all in at once. Read through and pick out the nuggets you need. I suggest you enjoy these thoughts one by one. Write them down. Meditate on them. Repeat them to yourself. Own the attitudes whether you are speaking on the phone, in public, in a meeting or to yourself.

“When you have nothing important or interesting to say, don’t let anyone persuade you to say it.” -H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Be interesting. Introverts or people of “few words” know something that boring people don’t. Introverts tend to speak only on matters of importance and subjects about which they are most passionate. They choose words, conversations and topics carefully. It is important to speak about something that will benefit others. Most people like to hear things they haven’t heard before, even if it’s old information presented in a new way. Draw from your life experiences and the uniqueness of your personality to put your spin on the story or presentation. Also, avoid speaking just to hear yourself speak. I had a friend to tell me one of her worst interviews was with a beautiful but boring person. Media people would much rather interview someone less attractive but interesting versus beautiful but boring! The same is true with conversation and speaking engagements. Don’t just depend on your looks to get you by. Looks may get attention, but interesting words hold attention. Anecdotal Point (AP): Imagine your favorite reporter is interviewing the most beautiful singer, but the interview is very flat. He/she shows no personality or enthusiasm.

An entertainment reporter has the opportunity to speak with a singer who after more than twenty years in the music industry has yet to reach a level of success that matches her talent. The nagging question that pulls at the interviewer before speaking with the unsung diva is “Why isn’t she a household name?” She’s beautiful and blessed with an equally stunning voice that captivates audiences whenever she takes the stage. The reporter finds out sooner than later that her beauty and big voice can’t offset another “b” that can also effectively describe the songstress…BORING. All of the talent, looks and stage presence in the world couldn’t compensate for her being an absolute snooze as she offered cookie cutter, detached responses to the reporter’s inquiries that provided no insight to her as a person. “This explains everything,” the reporter thought as the singer carried on with details of her career and latest album in a speaking tone that sounded strikingly similar to the singing voices of her less talented peers. Flat and dry, she didn’t seem the least bit concerned with providing compelling answers that may connect with her current fan base and/or strike a chord in those who may not know (or care) about her music. Reporter: Upbeat and excited about the interview. The reporter begins, “So, tell me about your latest album!” “It’s called ABC/XYZ. It’s coming out June 1st,” the singer, replies in a flat tone. The reporter thinks to self, “This is going to be like watching paint dry.” “Alright…can’t wait to hear it. How will this CD be different than your last album?” With the same flat tone, the singer dully responds, “I’m older and more mature…” Crickets… Freeze Frame! Could this be you? Knowing what you now know, what could you do to be an interesting interviewee?

“Speak properly, and in as few words as you can, but always plainly; for the end of speech is not ostentation, but to be understood.” -William Penn

Be well spoken. Use proper grammar, diction, pronunciation and tone. Most people would converse with or listen longer to an “average” looking, dressing and smelling person if he or she articulately expresses himself/herself with conviction and passion. I’m not bashing looks by any means…I like a handsome, well-dressed, good-smelling man as much as men prefer attractive women. In my opinion, being articulate and well spoken puts one ahead of the game. Anecdotal Point (AP): Imagine meeting someone for the first time that is wearing the latest fashion, hairstyle, and mega-watt smile. They look the part of a “VIP”. You are very pleased to make their acquaintance until they open their mouth. Each word is mumbled and jumbled, their grammar is poor, and they use so much slang that you are confused about the meaning of their speech. Epic fail. You must look AND sound the part. Could this be or has this ever been you? Write your nugget and goal.

I believe sexy is an attitude and can’t be put on or taken off. Sexy is as sexy does. Being interesting and well spoken are the new sexy! Captivate your audience with your diction and passion. I can agree with Mr. McClendon, because often people who speak well are considered more attractive.

08 Be sexy.

I jumped up and down with excitement when I heard actor Ashton Kutcher redefine sexy in his acceptance speech during the 2013 Teen Choice Awards. He said, “The sexiest thing in the world is being really smart. And being thoughtful. And being generous. Everything else is crap! I promise you! It’s just crap that people try to sell you to make you feel like less. So don’t buy it.”

”It is sexy to speak correctly.” -Garrard McClendon

Studies have proven that attractive individuals who also have the ability to speak well are in more top-rated and high-earning positions. Research shows attractive people get hired faster, promoted sooner, and tend to earn more than their lessattractive counterparts. In short, attractive people are considered more marketable. I’m not saying put on a skimpy or seductive outfit or a great suit and tie to manipulate your audience, but DO put your best foot forward. Wear something in which you look and feel confident and comfortable. Speak with the same level of confidence and poise. Give your best visual and verbal presentation at every opportunity…sexy! Anecdotal Point (AP): In the previous scenario, at first impression, the VIP looked the part but did not sound the part. Now reverse it…imagine you have a meeting with a CEO or VIP. You are not sure if you are meeting the “top dog” or the person who occupies the alley on the side of the building because of how unkempt and disheveled he looks. However, when the CEO opens his mouth, he speaks eloquently. True story…I saw a homeless man being interviewed on television about what he planned to do to brave the imminent cold weather. He was so poised and well spoken and was giving me so much Sidney Poitier that his appearance never mattered. Is this or has this been you? How can you put your best foot forward visually and verbally? Write your nugget and goal.

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” -Alice Walker

Be powerful. Loud doesn’t necessarily equal power. The loudest person in the room is not always the most powerful, but they do get attention. This loud person, whether right or wrong, usually believes in what he/she has to say. If you have something to contribute, speak with the power of passion and purpose and allow strong breath support to carry the tune and tone of your voice. If your voice doesn’t match your message, your age or your gender, fix it. Learn to have inner power and strength and awesome projection too. Do the inside work! The inside work is about you…overcoming your insecurities, hurts, pains and hindrances in order to soar and achieve your highest potential. People like Oprah, Deepak Chopra, Pastor T.D. Jakes and author and life coach Iyanla Vanzant focus on getting people at one with themselves and who they are as the key to success and accomplishing purpose. Iyanla consistently tells her audiences, “You have to do the work.” True power comes from within! Anecdotal Point (AP): Scene: You are in a meeting, and you are the mousy one in the corner. Each time you try to answer no one responds because you don’t speak loudly enough. You are completely overlooked, while your poised, confident and melodious cohort (who gives the same response but says it with strength and power) gets all the praise. You leave the meeting kicking yourself because you had the answers. If you want to be the star of the show, SPEAK UP!

“I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.”

Be confident.

Edward Everett Hale

Do you have something to say but are shy or insecure? Confidence is not the same thing as arrogance. Confidence is assurance of oneself because of consistent, proven and positive results. On a deeper level, confidence is rooted in knowing you are operating in creative purpose and have great abilities that influence and impact. If your knowledge and positive information or contribution has the ability to effect change or benefit others, you do a disservice by keeping your thoughts and ideas to yourself. Anecdotal Point (AP): Similar scenario as before, you are in the team meeting. Again, you have value to add but you stand in your own way. You have the solution to the problem but are afraid to speak up because you hate your voice, stutter when speaking in public, or are afraid you will sound incompetent. You may also insert any other fear or insecurity that holds you back. You wonder why you are always passed over for promotions! You are not taken seriously. No one will believe in you if you don’t believe in yourself. You are doing more of a disservice to the team when you don’t speak up. Don’t make it about you; be a team player. Is this you? What was your area of insecurity? Write a nugget or goal to overcome this challenge.

“When we speak we are afraid our words will not be heard or welcomed. But when we are silent, we are still afraid. So it is better to speak.”

Be heard.

Audre Lorde Do you feel often overlooked? Do you feel forgettable? Do you feel small? You first must understand that you are important and what you say matters. We all have a contribution to make to the world. Organize your facts and thoughts and then speak with a knowledge and conviction so that people feel the connection and believe. Speak up, speak out and speak with passion. Anecdotal Point (AP): Scenario: You are under fire in a big meeting with your team and boss. The boss is asking everyone questions about a project with an upcoming deadline. He/she presents you with a question…oh snap! The answer is on the tip of your tongue – you have the correct response but you freeze, or worse, say I don’t know. Wonk…wonk…wonk… fail! As a result, your co-worker steps in and gets your kudos for his/her organized and well-spoken answer. You could have done the same thing had you taken a deep breath, repeated the question and summarized your response in about 3 statements. Easier said than done! Does this ever happen to you? How often? Write your nuggets and tips here to change your attitude.

“I do not care so much what I am to others as I care what I am to myself.” Michel de Montaigne

Be marketable.

Getting paid what you’re worth begins with knowing your worth. It’s important to know that we all live with a gift and purpose. If you have tapped into that gift and honed your skills in a way that has made you stand out in your career or life, don’t hold back! Share yourself and benefit the world. To get paid more for your gift(s) and skill(s), you must realize that your voice is your business. My use of voice in this context is two-fold: both your voice of influence and your physical, audible voice. The ability to express one’s self to convey a powerful and persuasive message comes from the heart. Opening your mind to your voice as a tool of demonstrating your marketability can lend itself to using your voice to make a living through endorsements, speaking engagements, training others, acting, singing, teaching and conducting meetings. The sky is the limit when you tap into the ABCs and integrate them into your self-marketing plan. Anecdotal Point (AP): A big corporation is taking bids on a new project. You pass it up because you don’t know how to speak about the value you could add. Six months later, you see the outcome and kick yourself yet again. You could do the same thing as the other guy… maybe even better; however, you didn’t believe your company was ready. Take this time to write out the highly marketable points of you and your service. What value do you add? If you have listened to the needs and problems of your target, you will more easily know which of your abilities fit the bill.

“It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.” Mark Twain

Be competent. The worst thing in the world is realizing you have been had. Your audience will feel the same way if they realize you don’t know your stuff. It’s one thing to be persuasive and marketable, but your true value is your actual skill level, integrity and credibility. All credibility is lost when your audience or the listener walks away feeling “hoodwinked, bamboozled and lead astray” (thanks to Malcolm X for a line that so perfectly demonstrates when integrity has left the building). If you know that you know what you know, you have honed your skills and mastered your craft. Be prepared to pass on that information! Your voice and your accompanying actions are the best way to demonstrate your competence. Anecdotal Point (AP): Rewind to the previous scenario where the big corporation opens a request for proposals and call for bids for a big project. Though you don’t have the exact experience and expertise needed, you feel like this opportunity is lucrative and could give you the exposure you have been wanting. You go to your buddies, You Tube and Google, to do the research and put together a great presentation. You go in and nail the presentation, convincing the corporation to give you the job, only to later fail epically because you oversold yourself and didn’t truly have the tools needed to get the job done. It’s like going into a boxing ring to face Oscar Delajoya wearing an inflated muscle suit to make yourself look stronger than you are. Who do you think is going to win this match? We will have an ambulance on stand-by. Write your nuggets. What skills do you need to work on or master to be competent in your area? BE HONEST with yourself in this area because the work you do will speak for you.

“Courage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can’t practice any other virtue consistently.”

Be courageous.

Maya Angelou

Overcome your fears! FEAR is…False Evidence Appearing Real. You will never know you can do something unless you try and see it through to the end. Be guilty of going where no man has gone before. The difference between successful people and stuck people is their relationship with fear. The absence of fear is not what drives successful individuals. Successful people move forward with their dreams, goals and plans in spite of fear. Successful people believe in the Nike motto, “just do it” whether you’re scared or not. Stuck people are paralyzed by fear. After all, you can learn to use your breathing and voice to manage nerves, anxiety and fear to present your best self to the world. Anecdotal Point (AP): You are running your favorite jogging trail and suddenly you spot what looks like a big break or crack in the path. Based on the angle of the sunlight, it looks like the earth has caved in and left a deep sinkhole. You become so fearful of falling that you don’t get close enough to realize that it’s just a small crack. If you had simply jumped over, your journey could have continued. What fear(s) are you allowing to turn you around? Write the fear/lie and then write the reality/truth. What nuggets or goals do you take away that will help you walk courageously?

“Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people.” -William Butler Yeats

Be understood. Speak clearly and concisely. Organize your thoughts and diction. If your point doesn’t make sense in your head, chances are it won’t make sense when you say it. I’ve always loved the song that says, “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.” In high-stress situations or in all communicative attempts, use a proven organization technique. You could take a deep breath, repeat the question, or use bullet points to demonstrate the order of importance and then answer with clarity and confidence. Anecdotal Point (AP): For some reason, every time you open your mouth in meetings people frequently ask you to repeat or speak up. Finally, your blunt co-worker admits you are mumbling. Word on the street is that you sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher… waaaa…wawawa…wa wa wa. Open your mouth and use precise articulation! What nuggets or action will you take to help you be better understood?

Just because you think you’re saying something clearly doesn’t mean that it’s coming across the way that you intended. Your words – and by association, your intent – carry less weight when your tone and non-verbal cues completely contradict them.

Be expressive.

Dr. Nerdlove Speak from the heart with passion, vocal variety and a natural amount of gestures to add color to your thoughts. Flatness can be a result of fear, nerves or lack of proper airflow and projection. Don’t be afraid of using gestures to demonstrate your point as well. Gestures can be tremendous aids as long as we don’t rely on our hands and faces to speak for us and thus become a distraction. BREATHE and let your spirit out. Let others see the real you. Anecdotal Point (AP): John is a very smart guy and knows many helpful and insightful facts about the latest technology. The problem is, every time John makes his presentations he can’t seem to get people excited about the latest and greatest ideas. His tone is flat and he stands in one place with his arms folded for most of the presentation. What can you do to spice up a lack luster public presentation? These become your tips.

17 Be an athlete.

Successful athletes have a regimen of practice and preparation. Competing at the top of your game requires dedication, hard work and mental toughness. Athletes go from amateur to professional when they master the fundamentals of the sport and demonstrate consistent and persistent performance at a high skill level. At that level, others are inspired and want to be on the team because of their confidence of a win.

“I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life a champion.’” -Muhammad Ali

If you use your voice to make a living you are a vocal athlete. It doesn’t matter if you work the drive-through at a restaurant, teach, sing, play sports or are a CEO of a startup or a Fortune 500 company. You become a professional vocal athlete when you adopt a winning mindset and work toward achieving your communication goals. Correct and consistent practice makes perfect! Win with your voice! Anecdotal Point (AP): Two runners head for their marks in a marathon race. The first is long, lean and toned. The other runner…well, not so much. Runner number two is out of shape to say the least. He had to catch his breath upon arriving at his designated lane. Both have been heralded as naturally gifted athletes and considered equal matches in both skill and talent. But the difference between the two is discipline. Mike Tyson said, “Discipline is doing something that you hate with the same passion as you do something you love.” The truth is, many great athletes probably despise the preparation process as much as your average couch potato. But, like runner number one, they know training and practice are essential to the process of becoming great. It is that dedication that allows them to persevere while keeping their eyes on the prize of crossing the finish line in first place. State your personal goals and the necessary processes to achieve them.

18 Be meaningful.

“Your purpose is to make your audience see what you saw, hear what you heard, feel what you felt. Relevant detail, couched in concrete, colorful language, is the best way to recreate the incident as it happened and to picture it for the audience.” Dale Carnegie Make a connection. Make the experience worth the listeners’ while. When you speak from the heart about a topic you are passionate about, your enthusiasm will transfer to your audience. The voice plays a special song and has a certain tone when people are speaking about things they love and are passionate about. Don’t waste people’s time with nothingness. Always seek to give them some nuggets – some meat and potatoes – even if you’re talking about atoms and cells. Leave your audience feeling like they have had an encounter or experience, not just attended event or talk. Anecdotal Point (AP): Have you ever told a joke that you thought was hilarious but the only one who was laughing was you? They didn’t get the punch line. Awkward!!! If your passion topics are not what you find yourself speaking about publicly, incorporate them into your speech. Use stories or analogies. What are some things you can speak about passionately?

“Words calculated to catch everyone may catch no one.” Adlai E. Stevenson Jr.

Be relevant. Being relevant is being relatable. Know your audience. When you have an idea of who they are (even in a general sense), you can speak their language and be more engaging. Can your canned speech. Prepare like an athlete in training…fundamentals, drills, and suicides. Know your stuff, but speak to your audience like you are having a conversation. Look at them and connect. Make sure your topic is appropriate and fitting for the audience. It is selfish for a speaker to present on a personal, un-relatable subject. Leave your soapbox at home. Repeat this, “It’s not about me.” Your gift of speech is a gift to help others, not to grandstand. Remembering that will take you far. Anecdotal Point (AP): Have you ever attended an event where the speaker only spoke of himself, going on and on with big words and pomp and circumstance to glorify himself, his accolades and his education level? We have words for those type speakers…windbag, longwinded, arrogant and worst of all boring. Checklist: • Who is your audience (age, gender, occupation)? • What is the theme or topic? • What are the 3 most important and/or interesting things you can say about this theme or topic? • What is your time limit? • How can you engage and focus on the audience?

“If it takes a lot of words to say what you have in mind give it more thought.” Dennis Roth

Be concise. Get to the point! Say what you have to say in only as few words as possible to get your point across and inspire at least one person within the time you have been given. Not everyone will grasp the heart of your message, but the one person who does can be changed forever. So let’s KISS…Keep It Simple & Short. Say what you came to say, move out of the way, and let inspiration takeover. Anecdotal Point (AP): Not even necessary!

21 Now what?

Now that the groundwork has been laid for you to feel more confident and competent in your speaking experiences, go back and review. Reread the tips that you identify with and take action. Create speaking goals for yourself. I recommend taking on no more than one new goal per week. If you want to be on the fast track, look for at least three opportunities to use the tips daily. Hint – anytime you interface with the public counts as a public speaking situation, whether it’s a phone call, meeting or speaking event. While focusing on the “being” and having the right attitude or saying the right words, don’t forget the best tip of all…be your best self! We were all born with a purpose and the ability to achieve our highest potential. You don’t have to be Oprah, Joel Osteen or Tony Robbins to inspire someone; simply be open and sensitive to every opportunity. When the spotlight is on you, speak from the heart with a mission to answer, inspire and transform.

Give credit where credit is due

Thanks to these wonderful people and resources, I was able to add flare and flavor to my thoughts. Editing: Linda Dupree Robin Gibson Morissa Schwartz Rachel Stephens Kenya Vaughn Quotes: Publius Syrus H. Jackson Brown, Jr. William Penn Garrard McClendon Alice Walker Edward Everett Hale Audre Lorde Michel de Montaigne Mark Twain Maya Angelou William Butler Yeats Dr. Nerdlove Muhammad Ali Dale Carnegie Adlai E. Stevenson, Jr. Dennis Roth Ashton Kutcher Iyanla Vanzant

About the Author

Speech and voice trainer Shulunda Gibson is the owner of Speech and Voice Care Center (SVCC) in Houston, TX. Through her organization, Gibson works with individuals to enhance their personal and professional presentation by improving their voice, confidence and communication skills. She actively promotes excellence in speech – and conditions her clients to do the same as she transforms them into “vocal athletes.” Before receiving advanced education and 12 years of professional experience in the field of Speech Pathology, Gibson expressed a natural gift for communication and sensitive ear with respect to dialects and disorders in speech. After several years of experience in the medical rehab and public speaking components, Gibson created SVCC to provide individuals with a more comprehensive approach and address their speech challenges and/or communication goals. Gibson maintains a reputable client base of individuals who face a variety of speaking based irregularities, obstacles, disorders and personal goals that are rooted in everything from medical to psychological and cultural variations.