Personal Development Plan
Discover Steps to Motivation, Confidence and Success
by Simona Rich
Introduction Thank you for downloading my Personal Development Plan (PDP). This plan will help you achieve new breakthroughs in the areas of motivation, self-discipline, balance, emotional intelligence, confidence and empowerment. To use this plan effectively you need to identify which area of your life you want to improve and implement the steps suggested for that particular area. Your willingness to act on the steps will determine if you are ready to transform your life or you just wish to someday change. Although this plan is completely free, it contains much more valuable information than most self-improvement ebooks sold in the market today. So wholeheartedly apply the given advice and email me with your success story. That will be the best thank you I could ever get for the effort I put in this ebook. If you know other people who would benefit from this plan, please forward it to them too! But after all... Why should you listen to my advice? Let me briefly introduce myself. My name is Simona Rich. I am a success coach and the owner of personal-development-coach.net. The reason you should listen to what I have to say is because the advice given in this PDP was tried and tested many times and it WORKS. The information you are about to learn made me motivated and self-disciplined. It took me a year to become self-employed. I completely mastered my emotional states and now I feel empowered and fulfilled. I'm really passionate about what I do and my purpose in life is to help as many people as possible to achieve their goals. I believe that every person has immense untapped potential and with a few techniques shown in this PD Planner you will be able to discover your real capabilities. If you apply the advice given in this plan, your life can literally transform into the one you really deserve. For your success in everything you do,
Simona Rich
Contents I. MOTIVATION Have a definite goal Create a positive belief system Don't look at current results II. SELF-DISCIPLINE Form good habits Understand pain & pleasure Instantly become great III. BALANCE Pay equal attention to all areas of your life Learn to manage your time Have goals for each area
IV. EMOTIONS Control your thinking Understand 11 negative emotions Master emotions V. CONFIDENCE Don't listen to others Become a leader Realise your potential VI. EMPOWERMENT Make every action perfect Quit looking at what is Design your own success
Motivation Motivation is the key to high energy, value creation and achievement. It is the reason why people achieve great heights in careers, relationships and personal development. Motivation gives you amazing energy that other people can only dream of and it allows you to take massive action which doesn't even feel like hard work. Motivated people are not only persistent and positive, but they even look younger! This section will show you how you can acquire this amazing force that can completely change your life. You will be given a clue to develop this powerful character quality that is available to everyone. Why do so few people actually use it? Because most people don't know that motivation can be developed. Most of them think that only lucky people are motivated. But to think this way is to make a fundamental error. All people are exactly the same, and they have exactly the same potential in themselves. However, our environment shapes us in different ways because we are born in different environments. Your motivation is hugely affected by your friends. If you have friends who are demotivated and who have low energy, don't expect to be inspired to achieve great heights! Motivation can be sensed and picked up so if you hang out with motivated people, you will naturally feel more energised and determined to improve your life. On the other hand, if you hang out with people who complain, talk behind others' backs and are plainly boring, you will become like them (if you're not like them already). So be careful whom you hang out with because you will become like the average person in the group you are a part of. So basically you are as motivated as the people you associate with and as the people who live in your environment. And mostly that's how people become who they are – they are shaped by their environments and people in these environments. But only a few come to realise the immense power within them that can overrule any circumstance or environment. You have the power to change and become motivated even in the worst environment. Read the techniques below to find out how you can become motivated even if your environment is negative.
Motivation Rule No. 1: Have A Definite Goal If you have no motivation I can almost guarantee that you have no goal. At least not a definite goal. A definite goal is a key ingredient for becoming motivated. If you select a goal that you really want to achieve, keep seeing it in your mind and you get emotionally involved with it, you will become motivated – that is guaranteed. It's not enough just to set a goal and leave it at that. You have to constantly think about it, every single day, until it becomes an obsession. This will fire your motivation and therefore you will take massive action and get amazing results. The more emotionally involved you are with your goal, the more real it will look in your imagination and the more achievable it will seem to be. The more you think that you can actually achieve your goal, the more of your potential you will uncover and the better quality results your actions will produce. Motivation doesn't come out of nowhere. It only comes when you make some goal an absolute necessity to achieve. And this you can do by thinking about your goal and visualising it daily until you develop a strong desire to achieve it. You have some motivation because otherwise you would do absolutely nothing. You go to work because you need money. You know that if you had no money you would have nothing to eat and you would have nowhere comfortable to live. But the reason why people live in acceptable homes and wear acceptable clothes but don't go beyond that, is because they are not considering a better life a necessity. Yes, of course it would be nice to have a better car and to have more free time, but it is not absolutely essential. So only those people who make their goals into absolute necessities will ever become motivated enough to succeed. If, after daily visualisation of your goal, you still don't have enough motivation, you should take another action that will guarantee your motivation. You need to burn some bridges. What do I mean by that? You need to eliminate all the possible sources of retreat. For example, if you are employed and you want to have your own business, quit your job. If you are overweight and you want to get thin, throw away almost all your large size clothes. So in this way you will leave no possible excuse but to achieve your goal. But I only advice to do so for people who visualised enough times because visualisation of your goal gives you increasing confidence that you will achieve it. If your desire to achieve your goal is very weak, burning bridges can have a negative effect. This is because then you would start doubting yourself and you would become fearful and this will result in low-quality actions which will produce negative results. So if you choose the option
of burning bridges, make sure you believe that you can achieve your goal and you are ready to sacrifice lower-quality life for a higher-quality one.
Motivation Rule No. 2: Create A Positive Belief System If you want to develop motivation, improve yourself and change your life, you must have a positive belief system. Sometimes you may not even know what beliefs you have and some of them can be the most absurd beliefs you can think of, yet they are so deep inside you that you are not even aware of their presence. But the damage they do to you every day is immense, so it's absolutely necessary to take time to uncover and eliminate them. To change negative beliefs, firstly select the area of your life you wish to improve. Then write down the opinions, attitudes and statements that your parents and other authority figures made about that area. Sometimes it's easy to uncover negative beliefs, sometimes it's quite hard. It all depends on your willingness to analyse past events and remember people who impacted your life. The most trouble in uncovering limiting beliefs almost always is in the area of finances, so I will take this area as an example. Honestly answer these questions: 1. How do really wealthy people make you feel? 2. How do you feel when looking at $5, $100, $10 000, $100 000, $1 000 000? 3. How do you feel in luxurious environments, such as designer shops and five-star hotels? There are many more questions I could ask you but these three major ones will uncover many limiting beliefs you have about wealth. If you feel uncomfortable when seeing a wealthy person or if you think negatively about wealthy people, no wonder you are not wealthy! You cannot become wealthy if you think negatively about wealthy people. Your belief system will repel any extra money so that you would not become a bad person! Or, for example, if $100 000 makes you feel uncomfortable, no wonder you don't have motivation to earn that much! You must uncover a limiting belief that prevents you from attracting that much money into your life. The same
applies to luxury environments. You could never have a luxury lifestyle if you feel uncomfortable about it. So change your beliefs now. Here's how you can do that. To recognise what limiting beliefs you hold and change them, you have to dig deep into your past memories. Usually the strongest beliefs were formed when you were a child. If your parents had a poor opinion about rich people or they had other limiting beliefs about money, it is more than likely that you have the same set of beliefs deep inside you. To recognise such beliefs, take a pen and a piece of paper. Write down what opinions your parents and other important people in your life had about the area you want to improve, be it finances, relationships, success or something else. Really try to remember what they used to tell you about this subject and what opinions they expressed. It will take some time for this exercise to be properly done, so don't rush. You want to achieve your goal, don't you? So carefully think about all the attitudes and remarks of your parents and other authority figures with regards to your goal. Once you've listed all the remarks/opinions and attitudes, read them aloud. If some of them make you feel uncomfortable, especially in your solar plexus area (just above your stomach), then it means you have just uncovered a limiting belief that would prevent you from achieving your goal. Cross the other remarks out and leave only those that arise some negative feeling in you. Now start questioning these beliefs, one by one: "Why do I believe that (...insert your belief here)?" Answer this question. Then ask: "Does this belief benefit my life?" Answer this question, then: "Do I willingly release this belief from my life?" Answer this question, then:
"What positive belief do I now choose to have instead of this previous one? And now think of the belief that would help you achieve your goal. So, for example, if you believed that money makes you evil, you can replace it with the belief that money gives you the power to enhance your life and the lives of others. That's it. You're done! Now no negative beliefs will prevent you from becoming motivated to improve your life.
Motivation Rule No. 3: Don't Look At Current Results It is a big mistake to let your results determine your actions. That's the mistake which is responsible for most failures. Instead of looking at unsatisfactory results, visualise amazing results and let your unconscious mind work towards it. This way you will become much more motivated and this will enable you to achieve much more success. What you can see in your mind you can have in your reality. And to show your mind what you want you have, start visualising that thing. That's the only way your mind knows what you want to accomplish. People end up in negative environments because they don't have any direction in their vision. They only look and think about their current results and then they are surprised why they keep getting the same results. You should know exactly what you want out of life if you want your mind to help you get it. Keep your mind focused on your desires and avoid thinking about negative past or present results. Keep in mind that motivation is not something you get. You have enough motivation inside yourself you will ever need, but the trick is to bring it out. And you can do that by knowing exactly what you want out of life. You have to have high standards and strive to achieve them. You should make these high standards so important that you would no longer put up with what you have now. That's how you will get more than enough motivation to take action and achieve what you desire. Remember this: you cannot become motivated to do the thing that doesn't interest you. That's the reason why some children get bad grades. If the subject doesn't interest them, no one will ever convince them to do their best. They simply have no motivation to learn the subject. The only way in this case to make children motivated is by providing a strong enough incentive to study. You can, for example, promise to your children that if they get such and such grades in some subject, you will take them on holiday somewhere they always wanted to go. So basically incentives for children bring out motivation because these incentives are like goals for them to strive for.
Self-Discipline Almost anyone would want to get up at 5 or 6am and be completely focused and efficient throughout the day. Because there are so little people who actually are self-disciplined, you cannot help but wonder if those people are different from the rest to possess such an amazing quality. Fortunately, this is not the case. That's what I have achieved and that's what you can achieve too. But there is a price to pay for everything in this world, including self-discipline. There are many techniques you can use to develop self-discipline. In this PD Plan I mention the fastest and most effective techniques that you can start using today. They will test you if you are really prepared to do what it takes to gain complete mastery over yourself. Self-discipline can only be acquired when you make enough sacrifice. You will need to sacrifice your time, you will need to put enough effort, but once you pay the price, you will get an invaluable tool which will empower you to transform your life. Sometimes people become self-disciplined because they realise that if they don't, their life will be a failure. Such people understood that they could only achieve their goals if they would consistently take action to achieve them. They did not want to end up like others so they made a choice to become self-disciplined. Sometimes this realisation is all it takes to change yourself. Don't be like most people who do nothing, have nothing and then regret when it's too late to change anything. Really try to understand all the techniques and immediately apply them. Remember, you only need to firmly decide to become disciplined and take an appropriate action. So the steps which will guarantee self-discipline are here. All you need to do is act on them.
Self-Discipline Rule No. 1: Form Good Habits You can completely master self-discipline if you learn to consciously form positive habits. The method of forming new habits is very easy, but it requires some willpower. Habits are formed within 21 days. When you consciously take new action every day for 21 days, it goes into your subconscious mind and then you will remember to do it naturally, without any external reminders. It will get increasingly easy for you to do it and then you will just have to take that action because otherwise it would seem too unusual not to. So this way you will form positive habits and get rid of the negative ones that you formed unintentionally. Habits are best formed one at a time. If you try to form more than one habit at the same time, it may be too much for you and you may be put off from forming good habits in the future. So stick to one new habit for around 30 days to be extra sure that you really have this new habit deep in your subconscious mind. Here's the technique you can use to consciously form good habits. Start by identifying the negative habits that you want to change. Take a piece of paper and list all the bad habits that you have, which, you think, stop you from becoming more self-disciplined. It is not enough to just say “laziness� because it's too vague. List specific things you do that prevent you from becoming self-disciplined. It could be watching TV, purposelessly browsing online, eating when you're not hungry or checking your email numerous times a day. Once you identified these bad habits, decide what productive action you could take instead. This could be working on your business, exercising or reading self-improvement material. Once this is done, straight away put in your diary the note of this new habit and fill 21 (or better 30, just to be on the safe side) subsequent pages with this new habit, so that you would not forget to take it. Every single day take this new habit with the knowledge that after 21 days you will have formed a positive habit and destroyed the negative one. If it's not too late, take this new action immediately to show yourself that you will commit to this new action.
Once 21-30 days have passed, you can take another harmful habit from your list and replace it with some positive one. Month after month, you will replace all the negative habits to positive ones and that will surely make you self-disciplined.
Self-Discipline Rule No. 2: Understand Pain & Pleasure Are you really willing to do what it takes to become self-disciplined? You're about to find out the answer. You currently are not self-disciplined enough because you associate more pain than pleasure with becoming self-disciplined. So that means that you associate more pleasure with being lazy than pain with the lack of your self-discipline. If you did not understand this concept, read it once more. You really need to understand this because it can give you the key to self-discipline. So to become self-disciplined you will need to change your associations to pain and pleasure. You need to make self-discipline more pleasurable than laziness. How can you do that? Here's the technique. Take a sheet of paper and a pen. (I really hope you will do this exercise because it can completely change your life.) Got it? Great. Now divide the page into two columns. On top of the first column write “Self-Discipline” and on the other column write “Lack of Self-Discipline”. Now list all the good things that will happen to you once you are more self-disciplined. This could be: 1. I will wake up at 6am 2. I will accomplish twice as much 3. I will take constant action 4. I will continuously improve myself 5. I will always look confident 6. I will lose weight 7. I will exercise daily 8. I will double my income
When you really cannot think of anything else, move on to the “Lack of Self-Discipline� column and write here what will lack of self-discipline do to you in the long term. Remember, there is no such thing as inertia. You either create or you disintegrate. You either improve or you go backwards. So you can include in your list things such as:
1. I will gain more weight 2. I won't achieve anything significant 3. I will remain in debt 4. I will become increasingly lazy 5. Self-employment will remain just a dream
Now once this is done, read the first list and then the second one. If you've done this exercise properly, you will change your associations and now you will associate more pain with not becoming more disciplined than pleasure with leaving things as they are. This exercise alone will carry you a long way. To make you disciplined even quicker, here are some other steps you should follow.
Self-Discipline Rule No. 3: Instantly Become Great What does it take for someone to become great? Only a decision to become so. That's all it takes. You have to decide to become the person you want to be. You cannot just hope to be like someone someday because...
“The road of someday leads to a town of nowhere.” Unknown
You have to start behaving differently NOW. There is a trap people fall into at this stage. They start acting as someone they admire, but then the following day they become their old selves. So to become self-disciplined or to develop any other character feature, you have to be CONSISTENT. Consistency is the key to self-discipline, value creation and fulfilling life. You have to consistently behave as though you are already who you want to become. Of course, it will not be easy at first, but listen to this advice given by Ralph Waldo Emerson: “Do the thing and you will get the energy to do the thing.” What an amazing piece of advice and it works wonders. Just try it. Whenever you don't feel like doing something but you know you should to, just start doing it! You will be surprised to find out how quickly you accomplished the thing you feared to start in the first place!
Balance In this fast changing world it seems almost impossible to get proper balance in all different areas of your life. And if you don't keep them in balance, the least important areas will soon be in trouble. For example, if you are doing very well in finances, it means that your whole attention is there. Because of that your relationships or health may suffer. Or if your whole focus is on keeping your body healthy, your career will soon start to suffer and therefore you will get poor results in that area. Take some quiet time for yourself to really think about your priorities in life. Are they definitely the things you need to focus on? Or do you just use them to put off something more important? So often people fail to identify the most important things in life. They spend all their time working when deep inside they know they should spend more time with their family. But usually they decide to make a change when it's too late. So really think about whether your life is harmonious. If you notice that some areas of your life need more focus, you should balance them. How do you do that? You need to give enough attention to such areas. I know it sounds simple but that's all it takes. You need to find the time to work on those areas instead of doing nothing and acting only when it's too late. Rule no. 3 will give you more techniques on how you can manage areas of your life that seem too overwhelming. Don't end up like these people... Balance your life!
Balance Rule No. 1: Pay Equal Attention To All Areas of Your Life It may seem impossible at first to pay exactly the same amount of attention to each area of your life, but this is the most healthy way of living. Such harmony will give you fulfilling relationships, warm family life, profitable business and amazing health. To keep good balance, do the most important things for each area first and don't spend too much of your time on insignificant details. Just think about it. Spending all your time tweaking and making something slightly better will not give you a great return, so it's better to spend equal amount of time on each area by doing the most important things in the best way possible. You don't have to spend each day paying equal attention to each area of your life, but that would be really beneficial if you could do that. The easiest and most realistic way to balance your life is to dedicate one day for each area. Spend the whole day with your family; Take another day for improving your efficiency; Spend another day to improve your body and so on. You can also spend two or three days on one area of your life, but it will be harder to keep balance this way. Or you can try different time lengths and see which one suits you best.
Balance Rule No. 2: Learn To Manage Your Time We all know the stories of millionaires who are hated by other people and they end up absolutely lonely. You also know the stories of people who had plenty of friends and they would go to amazing parties, yet they got into drugs and became addicts. Another classic example are people who sacrificed everything for their loved ones and therefore they had no time left for themselves. There are so many examples of people who do not know how to balance their lives and therefore they suffer from the effects of such mismanagement. Time management has a lot to do with your life balance. If you spend equal amount of time for each area of your life and do only the most important things for those areas, you will naturally become good at time management. But what to do if you have one area that cannot be reduced, such as your career which requires you to labour day and night? Well, then you will have to sacrifice other areas of your life for that one area. But there are small things you could do to slightly improve your situation. You could analyse all your actions and eliminate the ones that do not give good results. If the action doesn't produce a positive effect, it's useless. So don't spend your time taking action that you know is not going to get you anywhere.
Simply eliminate it and this will enable you to make more time for other areas of your life. To create even more balance in your life you can become more efficient in that overwhelming area and this will cause you to further shorten the time spent on it. So basically you would need to do the most important things in a shorter time. This will require you to find new strategies or think of different methods to approach the same work you used to do slower. So don't wait for things to change if you suffer from some overwhelming area of your life. If you wait, other areas will just get worse until they become complete disasters. Start thinking now about which tasks are inefficient and eliminate them at once.
Balance Rule No. 3: Have Goals For Each Area Your unconscious mind moves you into the direction that you consciously or unconsciously set. It is far more beneficial to consciously set the direction for each area of your life than just to hope for the best. Because if you don't consciously set the goal for each area of your life, you will end up in the same place as the majority of people. You might ask why would that happen. This happens because if you don't guard your mind, other people will do that for you by making you buy into all kinds of negative suggestions and limiting beliefs. To consciously set goals for each area of your life you need to identify what is it that you really want to achieve in each one of them. So take a sheet of paper and a pen and list the areas of your life. Different people will have different key areas of their lives depending on their circumstances, for example one person can have a family and the other one could be single. But in general here are the major areas: Family/Relationships/Work/Spirituality/Health/Personal Growth As I said, these areas could differ in your case. Maybe you want to define finances as a separate area because you want to especially work on managing your money. Maybe you want to have exercise as a separate section because you want to particularly concentrate on that. Once this is done, set one goal for each area of your life and read those goals every day so that your mind would know in which direction it should influence your actions.
Emotions Emotions can be your best friends or your greatest enemies. It all depends if you use them or you are used by them. Emotions let you know what is important for you and they also signal when you are off the course. People perceive the world differently because they have different emotional responses to the same situations in life. One might lose all her money and be extremely upset; Whilst another person might lose everything yet he becomes inspired to get it all back within a year. So why do we react to the same situations differently? Why do our emotions differ when we are faced by exactly the same circumstances? It all has to do with our thinking. If you are used to complaining and seeing everything worse as it is, don't be surprised if you get all emotional when something negative happens. Whilst if you try to pay attention only to good things in life, even if you experience something unpleasant, it would be unusual for you to become upset, frustrated or fearful. In this case you are more likely to think “Hmm... That is unexpected. Let's see how I can turn this around”. You can change your emotional state at this very moment by starting to pay attention to good things and ignoring bad things. Start asking yourself different questions. Rather than affirming to yourself what a failure you are, keep asking “How can I make this work?” “What does this situation teach me?” “How can I improve this?” These questions will change your state of mind from that of limitation and hopelessness to the one of possibility and faith. If you do get yourself into a negative emotional state, notice it and it will lose power over you almost completely because awareness is the key. Once you are aware of something that harms you, it cannot last for too long. Try it and you will see that this is true. The minute you get angry, remember my words. Become aware of how the anger feels. Become aware of the blood rushing into your head and the tension in your muscles. You will not like this awareness and soon you will start avoiding becoming angry. If you let someone else make you feel angry, it means you are giving the power over you to that person. It is logical, just think about it. If someone can make you emotional, they are in control of you. So don't let this happen, be completely in control of how you feel. Just think about famous people. Every day they get many beautiful letters from fans but they get hate mail too.
It would be insane for them to get upset every time they get a letter full of hatred and resentment. Different people have different opinions and you cannot be liked by everyone. It's just how it is! And the more successful you become, the more people you're likely to meet who will not like you. You just have to become okay with differences in opinions and keep yourself positive no matter what others think of you. Don't let anyone be in charge of how you feel. So write this down in your diary or somewhere you can see:
“The minute someone else makes me feel negative, that person becomes in charge of me.� Watch your emotions closely because they will determine where you are heading in life. Emotions of hope, love and peace will move you towards success, abundance and meaningful relationships. Emotions of hatred, anger and depression, on the other hand, will lead you to a completely different destination. So be very careful as to what emotions you indulge in.
Emotions Rule No. 1: Control Your Thinking Nothing can have more impact in your life than positive thinking. Once you decide to watch your language and thoughts and only indulge in positive thinking, you will wake up to realise that nothing negative can happen in your life. You will literally become invincible. However, don't expect that once you start thinking positively everything will instantly change. You will have to live through the consequences of your past negative thinking. But think about it this way. By thinking positively you are laying amazing foundation for your future. Although positive thinking sounds easy, it really isn't. You will need to pay attention to your every thought to notice your negative thoughts. You did not pay attention to what your thoughts were in the past and therefore you will need to gradually learn how to do that. But if you start paying attention to your thoughts from this very moment, it will become increasingly easier to spot negative thoughts and soon you will have none of them left in your mind. Those people who think positively are considered to be “lucky” because they constantly experience something amazing in their lives. The good news is, you can be “lucky” too by learning to think positively. In general, people think that luck exists when they are not aware of the never-changing laws that govern this universe. You will notice that once you start thinking positively, more and more great manifestations will take place in your life. That will encourage you to monitor your thoughts and soon you will get rid of one of the most negative emotions you can have – the emotion of fear. This will happen because you will understand that nothing can hurt you but yourself. So instead of fear, now you will have hope or faith in your mind. And these emotions will cause much better results in your life. Action taken with faith or at least hope will always produce better quality results than action taken out of fear. There is no doubt about it. Those who take action and think that they will succeed, almost always do. And those who take action and think they will fail, almost always fail. You will also notice that if you only allow positive thoughts dwell in your head, you will not need to take that much action to produce great results. However, if you take even more action, you will dramatically improve the quality of your life.
Emotions Rule No. 2: Understand 11 Negative Emotions There are 11 categories of negative emotions and each one of them has a message for you. If you learn the messages behind every emotion you will be able to benefit from them instead of being ruled by them. The most important thing to do once you experience some negative emotion is not to get overwhelmed by it. Try to identify exactly which emotion you are experiencing and why you got it in the first place. Here is the list of the eleven categories of negative emotions: 1. Mildly negative emotions 2. Fearful emotions
3. Emotions of hurt
4. Emotions of anger 5. Emotions of frustration
6. Disempowering emotions 7. Emotions of being overwhelmed 8. Emotions of disappointment 9. Emotions of guilt
10.Emotions of inadequacy 11.Emotions of loneliness Here are the meanings of these emotions: 1. Mildly negative emotions are emotions of uneasiness, boredom, impatience and embarrassment. They don't bother you much but they still affect you. They basically tell you that you need to change your view of that particular situation that gives you the negative emotion. Maybe you misunderstood the situation or overreacted to it. So these emotions indicate your wrong perception of things.
2. Fearful emotions include fear, worry, anxiety, doubt and terror. These emotions indicate that you need to get ready to deal with or avoid some future situation. Sometimes they can also mean that you have a wrong perception of a certain situation (for example, when there is no reason for you to worry but you still do). Usually you perceive situations in a wrong way because of your lack of understanding about them. For example, you will only fear the maths exam if you are not sure if you will pass. However, if you study all the time and know all you need to know about such exam, you will not be fearful. 3. Emotions of hurt are emotions such as the feeling of being insulted, taken for granted or mistreated. Usually these emotions arise because you sense that you have lost something. Maybe you lost friendship, trust or something you cherished. Maybe you even lost your own high standards. These emotions indicate that you either need to change your standards (because if they are very high, not many people will meet them and you will always get hurt) or you can change your perception of things. Maybe that person did not want to hurt you at all, but because your standards are different from those of his/hers, you understood that person the wrong way. 4. Emotions of anger. Such emotions are irritation, rage and being furious. They again give you the signal that someone did not meet your standards. You need to understand in such situations that everyone's standards are different, so you cannot expect that people will know your standards and comply with them. 5. Emotions of frustration. You feel frustrated when you feel you just cannot get ahead, when you feel as though you are stopped by someone or something. This basically means that you need to change your method to tackle the problem. You feel frustrated when you try to solve a problem in a way that it cannot be solved. You also feel frustrated when you keep trying to get different results by taking exactly the same action! 6. Disempowering emotions. Although every negative emotion is disempowering in some way, there are some of them that are especially disempowering. These are the feelings of loss of control, when you feel depressed, hopeless or victimized and you think that the world is cruel and cold. The reason these emotions are so disempowering is because they are completely opposite to the reality. You have the power over your entire life, but if you fail to control what enters your mind, you will feel as though you are powerless. So basically these emotions indicate that you need to watch out what thoughts enter your mind and you need to only dwell on positive thoughts. This way you will be in control of your life. 7. Emotions of being overwhelmed. These emotions indicate that you try to deal with the whole problem or work/project at once and that is just too much for you. These emotions indicate that you need to change your approach and deal with one small issue/task at a time. This way the project/work/problem will no longer seem
so big and you won't feel overwhelmed. 8. Emotions of disappointment. You experience these emotions when you expected something to happen but it didn't or when you expected someone to act in a certain way or do something and they failed to live up to your expectations. These emotions indicate that you need to slightly change your view of things and not put all your hopes into some other person (because you cannot control other people). 9. Emotions of guilt. When you feel guilty, this is a signal that you failed to live up to your own standards. This emotion indicates that you need to learn from your mistakes so that next time you will be able to meet your standards. The mistake people make when they feel guilty is that they keep dwelling on that emotion. The purpose of any emotion is to give you some kind of message so that you would be able to adjust your mind/actions to the advice given. That's the only reason you get the emotion in the first place. So don't dwell on any negative emotions, especially guilt, because it's unproductive and it may even cause illness (e.g. longterm feeling of guilt can cause cancer). 10. Emotions of inadequacy. This is, in fact, quite a positive emotion. It indicates that you need to work on some particular area of your life and get better at it. Many people misunderstand this emotion and they think that this feeling means that this is who they are – unworthy or inadequate in some way. But this is not the purpose of this emotion. This emotion tells you that you are capable of achieving much more and it urges you to take action. 11. Emotions of loneliness. This emotion indicates that you let your ego separate you from others. It tells you that you need to connect with other people. So this may mean that you need to be more approachable, more frequently see your family/relatives or get into a new relationship.
Emotions Rule No. 3: Master Emotions It takes time to master your emotions. But once you achieve it, nothing negative can affect you. Most people are slaves to their emotions. When someone yells at them, they feel sad and hurt. When someone wrongs them, they feel angry. But so few take the time to really master their emotions. The fact is, you don't need to react in a negative way when someone does something negative to you. You and ONLY you choose how to react. You can achieve such level of emotional mastery that absolutely nothing can influence how you feel. At such stage even if you experience numerous problems you still feel as positive as you always have.
If you want to master your emotions, all you need to do is pay attention to them. Once you get a negative emotion, become aware of it and promise to yourself that next time you will not react to it. This way you will gradually stop being overwhelmed by your emotions and you will be in control of them. Emotions serve a very important purpose. They are indicators helping you to understand the world and what's happening around you. Negative emotions show you what you need to change and positive emotions indicate that you are doing everything right. The emotions of accomplishment, happiness, fulfilment and love show you that you are living a rich life whereas negative emotions suggest that you need to change your actions, behaviour or how you react to situations. So negative emotions are nothing more than indicators of what you should do. They are not there to make you feel bad. Their purpose is to notify you of the changes you need to make. So learn from them but don't dwell on them and this way you will become the master of your emotional states.
Confidence You can most certainly feel if the person is confident. They have amazing energy emanating from them. You can feel their assurance and courage. Confident person is not afraid to express his/her opinion an they are assured even in situations they have no experience in. They are not shy to appear alone in any kind of gathering and they tend to attract other people easily. Everyone wants to be confident, but there is a price you have to pay for this state of being. You cannot become confident merely by wishing. When you acquire certain habits and slightly change your way of life, you will gradually grow into a confident person. So confidence cannot be acquired overnight, unless of course you are hypnotised and through the suggestions to your unconscious mind you become confident. So why would you choose the path of discipline and change if there is a much easier way to become confident? There's definitely nothing wrong with being hypnotised, but if you choose this path, you miss the growth experience you undergo when you gradually become confident. You miss out on many lessons in life and you will not be able to help others to become confident. After all, personal improvement is what makes us fulfilled because it indicates that we are growing. That's the only thing we strive for – to be better, to have more, to live richer lives – we always strive for growth. So if you are hypnotised and change this way, you miss the growth experience which is invaluable. Usually people choose this easy path when they feel completely hopeless and unable to change. So it's up to you which path you want to take. Once you become confident, your quality of life will significantly change. You will view the world in a different way because you will have changed your personality. The world will no longer seem unfriendly and dangerous. You will see people in a completely different light and you will notice that life is easy when you don't make it complicated by your negative attitude.
Confidence Rule No. 1: Don't Listen To Others This is the most important piece of advice I can give you. If you only remember this single advice, it can literally change your life. If you listen to others you will end up like others. So if you still decide to listen to others, only listen to those who know what they are talking about and who achieved the same level of success (or more) that you want to achieve. Otherwise listen to no one and make decisions using your own mind. Everyone makes mistakes but the more decisions you make with your own mind, the quicker you will improve. Start questioning accepted standards and rules. You will notice that most of them are false. That's why most people end up living the life that does not fulfil them. And at first it will be really hard to see how many false rules and convictions there are in our society. But keep being alert and you will see. So use your own head and don't take for granted everything you are told. Always ask yourself who gives you the information and if they are an authority on the subject. If not, make conclusions yourself rather than just following what they say. Be especially alert who gives you advice that can significantly change your life. Take advice of such people only if it seems right for you and only if they really know what they are talking about. Take financial advice only from people who are financially free, take relationship advice from people who are in loving relationships, take health advice from healthy people. It is obvious when you think, but not many follow this advice. When it comes to your personal decisions, make them yourself and don't ask for advice. It is good to get into the habit of judging about everything yourself. So when there is something specific you should do, really think how you can do it rather than searching for the opinions of others. If you're reading this and thinking along the lines of: “I am not smart enough to decide everything on my own” Or “But I am such a poor decision maker” These are nothing more than your limiting beliefs talking. Change them by following the advice in the chapter about motivation.
Confidence Rule No. 2: Become A Leader You will notice that the less you are influenced by the opinions of others and the more you listen to yourself, the more followers you will gain. People who see that you are absolutely sure of yourself and entirely confident about your own judgement are highly likely to become your followers. People need the sense of assurance and if you can give it to them, they will follow you. How do you get the sense of assurance? You can get it only from yourself – from trusting your own judgement. How do you do that? By shutting your mind from negative influences and trying to make decisions yourself. If your decisions prove to be wrong, all you need to do is learn from the experience and move on. That's the only way you can really progress – by making mistakes yourself and understanding the lessons they teach you. You can never become a leader if you have no sense of direction, because when you have no sense of direction, you don't have the charisma that makes people want to follow you. People sense whether you have a purpose or not. When you have something to strive for, when you have a definite goal, your energy changes and everyone will feel that. If you have no definite goal, you become one of the followers and you will go and do whatever the masses go and do. You've probably heard that you have to be born a leader to be a leader. That is absolutely false. Anyone can become a leader. All you need to do is shut your mind to negative and disempowering influences such as news, complaining friends and people who consider themselves “victims”. You need to listen to yourself and the people who achieved what you want to achieve. You need to trust yourself and learn from your mistakes. You need to have a definite goal. That's what it takes to become a leader.
Confidence Rule No. 3: Realise Your Potential Now even scientists agree that the person uses only a tiny percentage of his/her true potential. Most people live their lives in fear, worry and uncertainty, failing to make the best out of themselves. But I don't see any point in living this way because life should be fun. There is absolutely no excuse to lead a boring and safe life because you live to enjoy your life and not to be safe and assured. So don't live the life of masses which is excellently put in this quote: “We avoid risks in life so we can safely make it to death.”. You can achieve absolutely everything you can think of. It would be impossible for you to think of something that you could not accomplish in one way or the other. In the past people thought that they would never be able to fly but now we have airplanes which can takes us everywhere we wish. There is always a way to do everything, but if you keep
repeating that you are stuck in life and that nothing comes your way then this will be your reality! Don't think about how you cannot do this or that. Try to find out how it can be done. Keep your mind off concerns and uncertainties and fix it upon hope, faith and possibilities. This way you will believe in yourself more and therefore you will see more of your potential. We create our own limitations by focusing on how something cannot be done and the more of them we create, the more unhappy we become. You can only uncover more of your potential if you start believing that you can achieve more. If your results are showing that you have low potential, create excellent results in your mind and dwell only on them. This way you will convince your mind that you actually have more potential (because your mind cannot tell the reality from what you visualise) and this will make you take more and better quality action. And this will result in better results. You will look at the results and you will get convinced that you indeed have more potential. And this will start forming a strong positive belief about you having unlimited potential which will cause you to improve your life dramatically.
Empowerment Empowerment comes from understanding. You feel empowered when you know that you can change your circumstances if they don't satisfy you. You feel empowered when you know what effects each cause can produce. To become empowered you need to understand the laws that govern our universe. There are 11 main universal laws that constantly affect you throughout all your life. If you are not familiar with these laws, you can read about them in this section of my website. Universal laws govern every area of your life and if you are ignorant of them, you may be unconsciously working against them. For example, tithing works because of the law of polarity (and laws, by the way, are very interconnected – so tithing also relates to the law of receiving and the law of supply). This law states that there is an opposite to everything. The opposite of giving is receiving, therefore when you give you must receive. Or there is no bad without good. So you may achieve something great, but with your success you will also get some kind of difficulties. You cannot have bad without the good and you cannot have good without the bad. But this is only one law out of the 11 that is affecting your life at this very moment. Even if you don't know the laws, you should intuitively feel what is bad and good. So you can become empowered by listening to your intuition and only taking action that seems positive and beneficial to all parties. Which is, by the way, very important. You cannot become empowered by making other people disempowered. Sooner or later this strategy will burn you. You can only become rich by making other people rich (and rich not only in the money sense), you can only become happy by making others happy, so the same goes with empowerment. Just look at any person who is assured of himself and has excellent leadership and other positive skills – you will notice that that person provides immense value to other people. When you honestly care about others and give as much as you can and as much as you know, you will most definitely become empowered. You will see that there is nothing to be afraid of or worry about when you honestly try to help others. People will be so grateful to you that they will spread a good word about you as soon as you truly decide to help them. So the more value you create, the more you help others, the more empowered you will become.
Empowerment Rule No. 1: Make Every Action Perfect This is by far one of the most important piece of advice I came across. It played a huge part in shaping my life the way it is now. I found this piece of advice in the Wallace D. Wattles masterpiece “The Science of Getting Rich”. It is a life-changing book and if you have not read it, then you should! So in this book Wallace D. Wattles teaches that if you make every single action perfect, you must get rich. If whatever you do, you do in the best possible manner, you will become empowered. By making every action perfect you know that you do your best and this knowledge gives you a sense of assurance that everything will be just fine. The only reason you have fear or worry inside you is because you feel that you have underperformed in some area and therefore you fear the consequences. So it's important to always make sure that all your actions are perfect. The author in the book also mentions that it's better to take less action but make it perfect rather than to take a lot of action but do it half-heartedly. I completely agree with that. If you do only one thing to improve your life today, do it perfectly. The feeling that you get when you really give everything you have and you provide immense value is nothing short of amazing. You feel such a deep sense of fulfilment and growth. You feel that you have improved not only your life, but the lives of others too. That undoubtedly gives you immense empowerment. Certainty produces empowerment because when you are certain that you did something in a perfect manner, you will feel invincible because perfect action can only produce perfect results. Our life consists of small daily actions that we take. If you take all you actions half-heartedly, your life will be mediocre. So take the best possible action you can and if all your actions are perfect, you must become successful.
Empowerment Rule No. 2: Quit Looking At What Is It is very easy to feel disempowered if your whole attention is on the circumstances and present results. However, if in the past you allowed negative thoughts enter your mind and you dwelled on them, it is very likely that you will now have life that does not satisfy you. The only way to get out of such unproductive cycle is to stop looking at your current results and create the results you want to achieve in your head. You don't have to buy into the whole “economy is going downhill” story because if you believe that, this will become your reality too. I am not saying that it's not happening in the world, it is! But not for all people. It affects
only those that buy into such economic condition. You can definitely create your own economy, but that will require you to live a slightly different life to that of the masses (ok, maybe very different life). Here's in short how I became self-employed. I stopped watching TV. I stopped reading newspapers. I stopped listening to people who live mediocre lives. I started thinking for myself and listening to those who achieved the goals I wanted to achieve. I started thinking about how I can improve my life and stopped complaining how bad my life was. Of course, you could be sceptical about this whole subject of creating your own economy. But it takes nothing to be a sceptic. If you are a sceptic, it just shows your fear of not wanting to get hurt. Maybe in the past you tried something and it did not work out. So now your fear is talking for you. Or you might have even never tried to live this way, but you are still afraid to try. It takes no courage to be a sceptic but sceptics never win. Have you ever seen a sceptic being praised? Neither have I. On the other hand, it takes great courage to believe in something you have never tried or have no knowledge about.
Empowerment Rule No. 3: Design Your Own Success What do you really want from life? Success, happiness, money, love? You can have it all if you are willing to pay the price. Probably you've heard this enough times already, but I repeat this on purpose. It is really important to understand that you only can have something new in your life if you are willing to pay the price. Sometimes it means giving away something you already have. For example, if you want to experience a new relationship, let go of the old one! And even if your partner is no longer with you, maybe you cling to his/her memory and that prevents you from inviting a new love into your life. Remember:
“Don't be afraid to give up the good for the great.� John D. Rockefeller, the richest man of all time
People have all kinds of limiting beliefs about them becoming successful. Maybe you will not be a good person anymore (money will make you evil:). Maybe you will then lose everything. Maybe your friends will dislike you. Probably some of them will. But friends come and go and you will be stuck with yourself for the rest of your life! So why not enjoy your life? Why not make the best of it?
And once you make the most of yourself you will be able to help others succeed too. By you staying where you are you are not helping anyone and your are certainly not helping yourself. Of course, you might be afraid to take risks. But if you want to be successful, you will have to take risks – there's no way around it. And you don't have to make risks fearful. Think about them as exciting and challenging. When you are afraid of something, you make a big deal out of nothing. When you tackle your fear you always see that there was nothing to be afraid of in the first place. You can entirely eliminate fear out of your life just by thinking about things in a different way. Don't be afraid to live an unconventional life – a life of your own design. That will only mean that you will not end up like the majority of people. And that is the best reward you could ever get, isn't it? You can create the life which absolutely meets your standards because you have – each of us do – what it takes to become successful. Don't let others control what you think, don't let others be in control of your emotions. Think for yourself, learn from the best, be persistent and have a goal – and sooner or later you will create the life of your own design.
The End.