EDITION 04 AUTUMN 2021
Carrying Species A guide to babywearing
Car Seat Safety Top Ten Tips
Acting Like a Mum Life with a newborn
North Herts Baby Fair Who, when and where
T H E F R E E M A G A Z I N E F O R N E W A N D E X P E C TA N T PA R E N T S I N N O R T H H E R T S 1
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first hit, saw the publication of our first edition come to a grinding halt. But we eventually managed to get that first edition to print in September 2020, a whole year ago, and it has been so well received within the community. We pride ourselves on having helped new and expectant families source the much-needed support they required on their journeys during a very turbulent time, when so many services ceased to exist. September is Baby Safety Month, so this issue has baby safety as its focus and, as such, our contributing article authors have written some great pieces for you with this in mind. So for our anniversary edition of the magazine, we would like to thank the following people for contributing to, and supporting, our amazing community magazine:
Editors: Kerry Fox and Ria Oliver
Welcome to the Autumn edition of Simply Babies Magazine! Our magazine is now officially 1 year old, with our very first printed edition having been released in September 2020. As a business, our goal is to unite the local bump, baby and family businesses in the North Herts area with our local mums, dads and families, creating a community feel to the services we provide, that gives out families the choice to source the services they need. Our magazines,both printed and online, have reached over 30,000 families within the North Herts area over just 3 editions: Autumn 2020, Winter 2020 and Summer 2021. Having originally launched the magazine in March 2020, the onset of the very first national lockdown when Covid
• Teresa Flanagan, local award-winning newborn and family photographer, for providing our beautiful cover images for each edition. • Tammy Nissim from Wear my Baby Letchworth for providing her editorial piece on the essentials, and safety, of babywearing. • Kerry Fox owner of BABIES and co-editor here at Simply Babies for a piece on car seat safety. • Lauren Jennings, from @actinglikeamum, for sharing her postnatal journey with us in this edition’s real-life story.
Kerry & Ria CONTENT�
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Carrying Species
A guide to babywearing
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Car Seat Safety Top Ten Tips 14 North Herts Baby Fair
Who, when and where... 16
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Acting Like a Mum Life with a newborn 21 Business Directory 25 Events 26
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Carrying species Carrying babies is nothing new. As a species we have been carrying since the beginning of humankind. Unlike other animals who are independent and start walking, swimming or flying from birth, human babies are born vulnerable. They are dependent on their caregivers for survival - to keep them warm, nourished and safe. There are communities around the world where their carrying culture has remained unbroken, but in the UK, we lost this practice during the Victorian era as parenting styles changed and the pram was invented. In the past, caregiving and carrying would have been shared throughout the community. As “babywearing” grows in popularity in the West, there is a gap in knowledge. Parents can seek information and support from Sling Libraries and Babywearing Consultants who are trained and insured to carry out this work. We will support you to carry your baby safely, comfortably and with confidence.
Why babywear?
Holding babies is the biological norm. We do this whether it’s in-arms or using a carrier, only the carrier also allows us to also be hands free to make a cup of tea! In the womb our babies know darkness, warmth and soft boundaries. They are never hungry and fall asleep to our gentle movements and heartbeat. In comparison, the outside can feel cold, bright, spacious and loud. Carrying can help bridge the transition between these two worlds. Babywearing releases oxytocin and helps you to bond and build secure attachments. Babies that are carried cry less and often sleep better. Kangaroo skin-to-skin care is particularly special. It helps regulate breathing, temperature and heart rates, so babies can thrive. It helps regulate caregivers too.
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Safe carrying
Understanding a bit about newborn physiology will help us to protect their airways - the central focus of babywearing safety. Babies are born with a curved spine. They have a short neck, low muscle tone, bulge at the back of their head and a large tongue. This makes them vulnerable in the early months where poor positioning can lead to slumping. If their upper body and head are not properly supported, their chin may fall to their chest and compromise their airways. An upright position is the safest option for carrying. Cradle positions are more risky and are not generally recommended. The exception is if you are using a sling as a carrying aid for breast/chestfeeding, in which case take extra care. Baby’s head needs to be supported by an arm or hand but free of fabric. It is best practice to bring baby back to an upright position when the feed is complete.
Kissable, Visible and Snug: the essentials!
This simple slogan from the South London Sling Library is easy to remember and has most of the key safety elements covered.
Kissable: You should be able to kiss baby’s head without craning your neck. This means your baby will be carried up high on the flat and safe part of your chest. Visible: Baby’s airways are open with their chin lifted off their chest. Nose and mouth are visible and clear of any fabric. Snug: Baby is held as tight as a cuddle in arms, with no slumping. For newborns the fabric of the carrier supports up to the top of baby’s neck, but ideally no higher. In fact anything that presses baby’s head to your body, especially in the soft part of your chest, could potentially compromise their airways. Older babies with good head and neck control can have their arms out of the carrier and be supported to at least the armpits.
Baby’s position and comfort
Choose a carrier with a base that will support baby’s bottom and thighs fully, from one knee crease to the next. Tuck their pelvis so their knees are slightly higher than their bum. This helps preserve the natural curve of their spine and is also the optimal position for growing hips. Place baby’s arms and hands up in a high 10 position. This will prevent flopping to the side, plus they love having their hands available to chomp on!
Temperature control
Babies don’t regulate their temperature well, so are at risk of overheating. Light layers work best. Remember that the sling or carrier counts as at least one layer and together with your body heat,
a warm location or brisk walk, that is like adding several extra layers!
Other risks
• The baby can nap in the carrier, but it is not safe for adults to nap while they babywear. • A carrier is not a safe alternative to car or bicycle seats. • Stay clear of high impact exercise or sports. • Check your carrier often for any damage and only purchase carriers from reputable companies. • Take care when placing baby in and out of the carrier. Practice over a soft landing if needed.
Your comfort and safety
Once baby’s safety and comfort are taken care of it’s important to look after our own bodies and wellbeing. In terms of which carrier is best, it’s often not what you wear but how you wear it. Slings and carriers are a bit like shoes or jeans. It’s all in the fit. Ultimately when it comes to safety, check in with your baby and your body regularly. Go with your gut. If something doesn’t feel right then you may need to make adjustments or seek expert support. Tammy Nissim tammy@wearmybaby.co.uk Wear My Baby Letchworth Babywearing Consultancy & Sling Library
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NCT Herts North Your local branch offers….
Postnatal courses – First Aid, Early Days, Antenatal Refresher, Introducing Solids, Baby Massage Antenatal Yoga Weekly breastfeeding drop-in Sling Library Baby and Toddler groups Nearly New Sales, regular events and social activities
Find out more at www.nct.org.uk/hertsnorth www.facebook.com/NCTHertsNorth All events and activities are open to everyone; we are not just for NCT members!
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Top Ten
car seat safety tips One of the most essential pieces of equipment you’ll use for your baby is their car seat. Here are ten valuable tips to remember when using your infant car seat to help increase the safety of your little one.
1. Avoid buying second hand
It seems sensible to start at the beginning: purchasing the car seat. Car seats can be one of the pricier purchases as an expectant parent, so it can be tempting to find ways to reduce the cost, but buying a second-hand car seat is not advised. If the car seat has been involved in an accident, the structure can be compromised, even if it looks ok. Even if you know, without doubt, the seat hasn’t been in an accident, wear and tear still contributes to the car seat’s reduced efficacy. Straps can become worn and internal cushioning can become broken and weak, which you may not be able to see from the outside. This can happen if the seat has been dropped or incorrectly stored, such as being under heavier items, stored in a loft or garage, where the extremes of heat and cold can compromise the plastic moulding, and even cleaning, as some cleaning
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products can weaken the plastic. Buying new is the only way to ensure the seat you are using for your most precious cargo is truly safe and up to the job.
2. Buy from trained, reputable retailers
Another important factor to think about when considering the purchase of your car seat, is where you buy it from. It’s important that you visit retailers who have staff who are well-trained and highly capable when it comes to answering your questions about car seats and their use. Correctly trained personnel will ask the appropriate questions to ensure you purchase the right car seat and they’ll even be able to show you how to fit it in your car.
3. Safest in the back seat
The safest place to fit a rear facing seat is in the back seat of the car. It is not only dangerous, but illegal, to place a rear facing car seat in the front passenger seat if it has an airbag that cannot be switched off. In an accident, an airbag deploys with such force that it poses a significant risk of harm to the baby, due to the impact with the car seat. If baby
has to travel in the front passenger seat, ensure that the airbag is disabled.
4. Get the seat regularly checked.
the straps don’t fit as they should. So, avoid adding anything to the seat that didn’t come with it.
If you fit the seat yourself, or move it to a new car, you may wish to visit a car seat safety clinic, which are held up and down the country, in which car seat fitting experts will check the fitting for you and advise what to do if there is a problem.
5. Ensure straps aren’t too loose.
When placing baby in the seat, you should tighten the straps so that they lay in contact with baby’s body and are of a snug fit. To check you’ve pulled them to the correct tension, try pinching some of the strap at the collarbone, hip and torso areas. If you can pinch any, the straps are too loose, so adjust accordingly.
6. Avoid snowsuits and thick coats.
Whilst thinking about strap tension, it’s worth mentioning that thick clothing such as snowsuits and winter coats can make it difficult to get the required snug fit. The stuffing within the coat can make it look like the straps are tight enough, but crash tests show that this stuffing compresses in an accident, displaying that, in reality, there is too much slack in the tension of the straps to keep baby safe. In cold weather, strap baby in the seat in their normal clothing and lay blankets over the top for warmth.
7. Avoid products that didn’t come with the seat.
It can be very tempting to purchase additional cushioned covers for the straps or fleecy inserts as it seems these may make baby more comfortable, but, as with padded coats, these can mean
8. Ensure straps aren’t twisted.
Continuing to think about the car seat straps, make sure they aren’t twisted and that they lay flat against baby’s body.
9. Limit the time baby spends in the car seat.
It is perfectly fine for baby to fall asleep in the car seat, but as soon as you reach your destination, you should remove baby from the seat and lay them flat in a cot or pram. Studies have shown that preterm and young babies are at risk of breathing difficulties when seated for extended periods of time in the more upright position in which car seats hold them. It’s advised that you limit time in the car seat to no more than 2 hours per day and that you take regular breaks on lengthy journeys to allow baby to stretch out. It’s also advised that you have another adult in the car who can check on baby.
10. Never feed baby in the car seat.
It can be tempting to give baby milk or food whilst in a car seat, whether on the move or stationary, but this is not advisable. The position isn’t well suited to feeding and if baby begins to struggle and needs help, your ability to act quickly is hampered by them being strapped in. Kerry educates new and expectant parents on all aspects of newborn care, including further information on car seat use and safety. To find out about classes, visit www.babies.uk.com or call 07985 500707
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Acting Like A Mum I’ve re written this so many times. I struggled at first because I have really enjoyed my journey so far and I figured no one would want to read about a positive fourth trimester right? But then I realised how, throughout my whole pregnancy I avoided negative birth stories like the plague like Covid (woah how iconic. That’s going to be a phrase people use instead now isn’t it?!) Watching positive birth videos and reading positive blogs left me feeling so excited and crying happy tears. So hopefully instead, this will give any expectant parents a positive mindset when heading for newborn life. Dear new parents to be, I promise you first and foremost- everyone is winging it. Everyone. So don’t let other people’s opinions worry you. Your parents made mistakes over and over again until they too stumbled across some sort of system that worked for their style of parenting. I can’t promise you that they will remember this and let you find your own groove without shoving their (severely outdated) advice down your throat. Remember they mean well, take a breath, thank them even- but what
worked for them might not work for you (and actually might not even be legal now… hello anyone born before 2002, sitting on our parents laps in the car with 7 people in a 5 seater…) Also, everything you get told from one professional to another will be complete contradictions. Seriously, it’s a minefield and you have to take everything with a pinch of salt. Eventually you will learn what works for you and your baby. When we were at the hospital, the midwives taught my husband and I how to swaddle our baby to put her down to sleep. If you are like me and have been firm disciples of the lullaby trust, this will shock you, swaddling is a big no no right?! Also in hospital (where the baby wards are as hot as the fricking equator) you have to keep a hat on your baby, even when they sleep, in a vest, a baby grow and like 4 layers of (swaddled) blankets. When we had our first midwife visit at our (far cooler than the ward) home, the midwife nearly had a heart attack when she saw our baby wearing a hat in bed and made us feel like awful parents. I wasn’t lying, the contradictions are rife.
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It doesn’t matter which parenting methods you choose either, you will be berated either way. Two of my best friends and I had babies in the same few weeks. I chose to breastfeed, one of them is formula feeding and the other doing a bit of both. Well, when I was in the hospital, one of the doctors forced us to give our baby a bottle of formula as we hadn’t quite managed a good feed yet and according to their “poo-timing-clock” wasn’t pooping fast enough for their liking, (although she had only been alive a few hours at this point). When you’re a new parent it’s REALLY hard to put your foot down with a professional, who are we to argue right? We’ve never done it before so they obviously know better- WRONG. Please, if you find yourself within the first 24 hours of your baby’s life being forced to feed them in a way you don’t want, please be stronger than I was! The amount of times I felt pressured to feed my baby anything other than my breast milk is astonishing. However I only caved the one time, we eventually got a good latch and she was guzzling away perfectly. (I must add that once I was transferred to the post natal ward the breastfeeding support was amazing!)
when you’re tired and vulnerable and in a Covid world, don’t have your partner there to advocate for you!)
For my friends though, once they were on the post natal ward they were under scrutiny for choosing not to breastfeed. The midwives kept going round to their bays encouraging them to try and get a good latch and informing them of the benefits of breastfeeding. Despite them never planning on doing it, my fellow first-time-parent friend then had to endure the midwives helping her get started on breastfeeding. Now, I don’t want to scare you, but the midwives are not gentle here. MY GOODNESS they might as well come round with metal pliers and squeeze the milk out of you. As if you haven’t just gone through enough with birthing a human. My poor friend had to go through the early stages of breastfeeding (which for me were easily the worst part of it) even though it was never something she wanted to do. (I must remind you, she of course didn’t HAVE to do this, but the coercion is really hard to fight
So I have to confess now, I am riddled with guilt each time a fellow parent asks me how I am doing. (This is something you find only people who have had babies will do- most other people just ask how the baby is!) Because so far I am doing great. Don’t get me wrong, I’m only 6 weeks in and I know it’s not always going to be rainbows and sunshine- but for now, I really can’t complain. We don’t have a routine and actually that’s something we’ve always said we don’t want. I don’t want to be trapped by my baby only being able to sleep in their room at 7pm each night after a bath and being read The Gruffalo seven hundred times. I grew up much the same and I’ve always been GREAT at sleeping and live a very fulfilled life full of love and very supportive parents, so if not wanting a routine makes me a bad parent, then fine! Things that I think have been key to me being able to enjoy these first six weeks are-
Okay so I have given you some horror material, hurrah! But seriously, if that’s as bad as it gets then I’ll do it again and again. The first few days were of course scary. Suddenly I was completely responsible for another human. Their everything. Literally, their food source, their cleaner, their comforter, the only thing they have known for 9 months. The only person who’s smell, voice, presence can calm them. (Thankfully not the only person who can change their nappies!) But I am extremely lucky to have the most mega support system there is. My husband stepped right up to his role of chief nappy changer, our house chef, our grocery shopper, basically anything outside the realm of breastfeeding fell/falls in his job specification. Even now that he’s back at work, if he can’t do it, he calls in a favour from a friend or family member. That’s another tip top piece of advice from me, ASK FOR HELP. Don’t try to be a hero because actually, the most heroic thing you can do for your baby is take care of yourself, and believe me, you cannot do that without the help of others.
1. making sure I shower every day. This may sound simple but as with all things new born, you may find it’s hard to get five minutes to clean yourself without a baby screaming for you, so take those moments where you can! When I’m on my own at home I bring her bassinet into the bathroom, the white noise of the shower has occasionally sent her to sleep. More often than not she cries a little but it’s usually towards the end of my shower! 2. Put a bit of makeup on. This sounds stupid I know, especially if you aren’t leaving the house in the first few days/ weeks. I rarely wore makeup before I got pregnant if it wasn’t for an occasion, but now it really helps to make me feel good about myself. Especially now while I am getting used to my new body. It’s cliché but for me when I look good I really do feel good and I think that is SO important as a new parent. Self care should still be up there on your list of importance- it might not be makeup for you, it might just be have a cup of coffee or exercising or listening to your favourite podcast. Whatever you can do that keeps you feeling good, try and make time for it. At the very least I really do recommend at least getting out of your PJs. 3. Eating and drinking. Ahh the fundamentals of staying alive. But seriously, this parenting stuff is only going to be so much harder if you forget to look after yourself! Get yourself one of those water bottles with the time written on them which reminds you to drink. Have snacks all over the house (specifically if you’re a
breastfeeding parent, if you have a set place you feed at, make sure there’s snacks snd drink within reaching distance!) My husband makes me a smoothie every morning before work so he knows at the very least I’ve had a load of fruit and veg every day. (I am so guilty of unintentionally skipping lunch, especially if it baby has a long nap and I decided to nap at the same time!) if you don’t have as well trained a husband as me, maybe just make sure the fridge is full of innocent smoothies! Also, if you have visitors wanting to help out, you can always ask them to bring over a batch cooked meal for your freezer, seriously the best gift for new parents! 4. Sleep when baby sleeps. This is definitely not always possible, but if there’s ever a time that it is, it’s the newborn days. Most parents will have some form of maternity or paternity leave from work, so take advantage of not having to be anywhere or do anything and just sleep, because as far as I am lead to believe, the opportunities for sleep get less and less until your child is about 21 and moves out. Again, I have to hold my hands up here and admit I have been lucky. My baby hasn’t been awful on the sleep front, it’s been bearable and so there’s only been a few days that I’ve struggled on the tiredness front. However, something that has worked amazingly for us is my husband putting her in the pram and taking her for a long walk while I get some sleep at home alone. One time he managed to take her for 3 hours which was amazing. Highly recommend.
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5. My last tip I guess is just soak it all up. The milky baby breath, the explosive poos, the sheep noises, lick the salty tears, take all the photos, waste HOURS just staring watching them sleep, the countless outfit changes (they only wear most things once cause they grow so damn quick so enjoy every outfit change and take a photo of them all!), enjoy being the only person who stops them crying just from picking them up, let them sleep on your chest, let them fall asleep in your arms and then laugh when they wake the second you try and put them down. Just try to remember this is only temporary, even if temporary lasts three years, it really is true what they have said to us for years, blink and you miss it. So try and allow yourself to enjoy it while it lasts! I can’t sit here and give you a Haynes manual in parenting. All babies are different, breastfeeding for me has been so far a success, for some people it’s excruciatingly painful. Some people have a baby who just will not sleep. Some people have to go back to work sooner than me. Some won’t have the support system I have or the privileges I
have, and so what works for me won’t work for everyone. But the main points I have made should be transferable in some way to your own situation. Remember, we survived sitting in pubs and restaurants before the smoking ban, we drank skin-changing Sunny Delight and had McDonalds birthday parties. Car seats- what were they? We ate Tesco horse meat thinking it was beef. We fell off the monkey bars, we wet the bed. You didn’t start walking until you were 20 months, your brother still wore nappies aged 5, your best friend was bottle fed, your sister sucked her thumb, your neighbour used a dummy, your parents got divorced, their parents stayed together, yet we are all still here to tell the tales! In summary- Self care, ask for and accept help, eat and drink, sleep when you can and remember it is all temporary so try as best as you can in your sleep deprived-covered in baby sick-still recovering from birth-way, to enjoy it. I wish you all the luck, love and happiness in this journey and for the love of GOD just ignore the mum police, they’re everywhere, you will never escape them so just try as best as you can to ignore them! Lauren Jennings @actinglikeamum
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Directory BABY AND PRE-SCHOOL ACTIVITIES
MONKEY MUSIC
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SING AND SIGN
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SIGNING COMPANY
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BUSY LIZZIE
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BABY TOYS, GIFTS, KEEPSAKES
THE ARTISAN MUM
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BIRTH PREPARATION
NCT BABIES
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DOULA SERVICES
BABIES
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EXERCISE
MOTHERHOOD MOVEMENT
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BUSY LIZZIE
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HYPNOBIRTHING
THE SIMPLE BIRTH COMPANY
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LIFE COACHING
HRH LIFE COACH
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NANNY AGENCY
ROSEBUD
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ORACLE CARDS
SOL AND LUNA
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PHOTOGRAPHY
TERESA FLANAGAN
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REFLEXOLOGY
TINY TOES
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SOCIAL EVENTS
BUMPS BABIES AND A BREW
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THERAPY
THE SIMPLE BIRTH COMPANY
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VENUE FOR HIRE
SIGNING ROOMS
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WEANING
NCT BABIES
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WELLBEING
CHILLED MAMA THE SIMPLE BIRTH COMPANY
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Autumn 2021 The best PUMPKIN PATCH Days Out in Hertfordshire: Centre for Healthy Living, Letchworth This October half term, there is a huge selection of incredible activities lined-up for the whole family at Spooky Funfest 2021. Explore their Halloween trail, choose that special pumpkin in the patch or go wild in the bounce zone. Have a train track adventure, create something amazing or just sit back and enjoy some amazing food and drinks.
Willows Farm, St Albans Pick your pumpkin from Willow’s Pumpkin Patch. There will be 1000’s of Willowsgrown pumpkins for children to pick and a Pumpkin Hunt with a prize badge for those taking part. You can also visit Gourds Grotto for your Instagram-able photos with their weird and wonderful Gourds, squashes and pumpkin scenes.
The Patch, Weston, Hitchin They have grown their pumpkins from seeds that they planted by hand. New this year they have grown a Maize Maze - let’s hope you don’t get lost! They have some new additions to the farm called Wooliam, Woolma and Wendy who can wait to meet you!
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Hitchin Lavender, Hitchin Better known for its lavender fields in the summer months, Hitchin Lavender Farm also offers pumpkin picking in the autumn with pre-bookable tickets available from their website.
Church Farm Ardeley, Nr Stevenage Pick your pumpkin from their pumpkin patch for carving on one of the spooky tents. The pumpkin seeds and goo can even be fed to the pigs! There are lots of other activities, spooky woodland walks and animals to visit as you make your way around the farm.
Aldenham Country Park, Elstree Their Spook-fest is a fun for the whole family event, intended to add some spooky fun to your day on the Farm. Discover frightfully fun offerings such as pumpkin picking and carving, horrid hay tractor ride, spooky trail, pumpkin bingo, decorations throughout the farm and much more!
Mead Open Farm, Leighton Buzzard With a Pumpkin included in entry for every paying child, get ready for stacks of spooky fun at Mead Open Farm! You get a pumpkin form the pumpkin patch to carve, take adventures through the Halloween attractions, trails and tractor rides!
