FRIENDS ARE WORTH THEIR WEIGHT IN GOLD

FRIENDS ARE WORTH THEIR WEIGHT IN GOLD

I often say, “friends are worth their weight in gold” and it’s so true. True friends are the ones for whatever reason we might go for weeks, months or even years without seeing or contacting each other, but when we do, the conversation flows from the minute we begin.

I have many ‘friends’, ex colleagues, former neighbours, uni-friends, relatives etc but I can literally count on my fingers the number of ‘true’ friends I have. The ones I know without a shadow of doubt I can call on, day or night, for help. They are the ones who would drop anything to help, who know without being told exactly is needed.

Social media leads us all to believe we have lots of friends, some people number these ‘friends’ in the hundreds and for some it’s a race to see how many of these so-called friends they can acquire. It boosts their self-esteem and gives them an air of importance. But are they ‘real’ friends? I somehow very much doubt it.

I have an old friend, who excitedly informed me he had nearly three hundred friends, yet when he was really down on his luck recently how many offered help? Only a few, and they were his true friends, a lesson he learned the hard way. We had been friends for over thirty years, seeing each other off and on as his mental health issues prevented more regular contact, he would ostracise himself from social situations, change addresses and then out of the blue he would call.

I would bake a cake, he would pop in and all seemed well, then suddenly his mental health issues flared up. I received a nasty message and after I replied asking exactly what he meant, he cut off all contact. Sadly, I don’t have a current address for him, and he has blocked my number on his phone, but I am sure he knows he can reignite the contact when he needs to. It’s his choice now.

Now don’t get me wrong FB can be amazing at linking old friends up once more, I am now in touch with someone I went to grammar school within London back in the early 60’s. My family moved to Hampshire when I was 11 and we lost touch (no social media in those days and very few families had a telephone) then suddenly out of the blue I received a friend request. The years melted away when we met for a coffee, we chattered away for a couple of hours, coffee going cold. In an even stranger twist of fate her sister lives about a hundred and fifty yards away from my house, how’s that for coincidence? We meet up each time she is in Winchester, she still lives in SE London but has a holiday home in Cornwall. Here we are enjoying that very first cup of coffee.

He popped up just as COVID started to rear its head, he was frightened and very keen to reignite the friendship. He uses a bank near our house despite living a short journey away, I offered to bake him a cake which he could pick up in a socially distanced way (from the doorstep), we chatted at a safe distance and tried to alleviate his concerns and calm his fears. We encouraged him to get out walking, and once the restrictions reduced, we invited him into our garden for a socially distanced lunch in the sunshine. He would text to say he was coming to town,

My true friends are few, one I have known since I was 17, I was there when she got engaged, got married, had children and now I hope to be able to see her in person really soon, she has terminal cancer. The pandemic has prevented me from

visiting her but every 6-8 weeks I send her a silly gift or card or flowers just so she knows I am thinking of her and her family. I don’t like to ring as I know she finds it distressing to talk on the phone, so an email or text is our means of communication. It can be several weeks before she replies but the joy I feel when I spot her name on my phone or email is uplifting for me and I really hope we will get to meet up once more before cancer gets her. Here she is with her grandchildren.

We moved to a main road in a city just over twenty years ago, and to our utter amazement made ‘friends’ extremely quickly with our immediate neighbours. We share meals, birthday treats etc. We aren’t in each other’s houses all the time, but we know we can rely on someone to water the garden when we are away, take in a parcel or pull in the bin. We used to have safari suppers, especially on New Year’s Eve, the men would dress in their dinner suits and we ladies would done our finery, great fun had by all. They are our ‘social’ friends.

Joining a group on FB can sometimes lead to friendships, proper ones, not flaky ones. I joined the Very Unfrench Wives group a few years ago and have progressed to being a member of the Team, now known as Simply French Living. I was uncertain when first asked to become a moderator, what was involved, what did it mean, how would I, a retired teacher fit in? But I needn’t have worried I quickly realised that the Team are very friendly, and our mutual love of France binds us together.

I don’t live in France, but here in the UK in Hampshire, as a family we love holidaying in France and have done for many years, and we are already booked for this summer too. Like many new friends, as a group we have had our

ups and downs, several folks have left for a variety of reasons, but the core members of the Team always pull together, watching each other’s backs and working to resolve any issues. We now have a fabulous online magazine that was launched last Autumn, and so I am learning even more new skills to go alongside the blogging I have done too. Life begins at 69+ ha-ha

Sometimes you make new friends through old friendships, an ex-colleague introduced me via FB to a mutual friend, we finally met up all together and what a friendship that has started. We share a love for France and also for excellent gin. You know you have found that extra special friend when they send you gin through the post! Here we are when we met in person, conversation flowed and great food was enjoyed, if only she lived nearer!

But my very best friend of all is my long-suffering husband, he has supported me over the last 48 years, we met and married within a year. We share a love of fast cars, and have had quite a few over the years, most recently he sold his beloved Porsche 996 turbo as he felt ‘too old’ for it. He supported me when I was teaching, then when my parents died within a few years of each other, when I changed careers not once, but twice and finally when I retired shortly before he did.

One thing I have learned over the years is that friends often become the family we can choose, the ones who just know what to do or say in difficult times, the ones who don’t expect anything in return. Treat your friends like precious jewels because they are truly worth their weight in gold.

Di xx