My Double “E”; A Story of Surnames, Identity & Formula 1 “Pilots”

Adapted from a real-life experience

A Story of Surnames, Identity & Formula 1 “Pilots”

Surnames stick to you. Like skin, you can’t actually change them. You get tanned or bitten by insects, but cells are always there to remind you that this is your shape for ever and ever.

Surnames just stay with you, even if you legally change them. Is it a burden? A sin? A blessing? I always keep in mind how huge the fights were in the past around surnames and caste. How huge a matter it was for a patriarch to ensure that his lineage was maintained as long as he could live and breathe. I understand that, both in the case that you are special and unique or that you are the most common one. I respect it. So, I have always been a double “E” and a double “ T ”.

I’ve always been somebody that since the very beginning of her talkative life, should have articulately repeated her last name letter by letter. It is actually not that big of a matter in Italian, you don’t really need spelling in Italian. You only need to pronounce it clearly because every letter has its own sounds, so there are no mistakes. But when you’re just a little girl who is a few years old trying to introduce herself to adults, and they consistently ask you to repeat your surname, well... then you just wish to delete it. Forget it. Just call me by my simple-four- letters-name, I’m fine.

Daddy felt embarrassed as well. By then, he was a chubby short boy, he was struggling with Italian. He would have preferred to speak his dialect since he came from a modest countryside family. Well, his problem was even worse, since his first name was as troublesome as our surname. He was a shy overweighted impossible-to-be-pronounced-name boy. What a nightmare.

Very often he would remind me how hard his youth was because of this double “E” and double “ T ”. How messy papers were if his voice was too low to make it clear to the receiver. How heavy those letters were, at the beginning.

Once he told me that he had desperately wished more than once to have just one simple silly name. “Bu”, (which in English would be pronounced Boo). Something like, “Hi, chubby puffy little cutie lovely boy, what’s your name?”. And he would just say, “Bu”. Two letters; just one “B” one “U”, no mistakes. I know how stupid this seems. But trust me, I totally sympathised with him by then; we felt the same shameful vibration every time we heard that question, the one which every social life begins with.

How did he grow up with this? Well I think that at some point, you just do it.

To me it was like being the only one. Yes, I was special not only because of that awkward sound, but because unlike every other friends of mine, I had my grandma’s surname.

You didn’t really have much of a choice if you got knocked up by singer, a fascinating traveller who would have entertained different girls after you, especially

from the countryside. You couldn’t really have a choice. Keeping your family name and staying with your family was the only way to keep yourself alive in the misogynistic society that was the provincial North Eastern Italian countryside at the time.

So my super-duper granny who had guts raised a child by herself and against the whole world; a child who carried her and her brothers and sisters’ own family name. And that was her pride; to not share her child’s identity with anyone else.

I kept this in mind every time somebody needed to confirm that my surname was actually written with double “E” and double “T”. Then, at some point of my life, but still too early, there was this very famous Formula 1 driver, who unbelievably, carried MY unique surname. Or better, people thought we had the same surname. And of course, when you are thought to carry the same family name, the first question you are asked is:, “Are the two of you relatives?”. But no no no.

This American, he maybe came from an Italian family, but, gosh, he only got a miserable lonely puny “E”. Just one. And you cannot compare my outstanding impossible to pronounce double “E” with a single one.

That was my turning point; when I started to understand that my fear of this word, because at the end of the story it is still a word, was about to swallow my identity. And my identity, remember, my skin, well everything was in there, in that family name. Our whole story, the strength of my grandma, the fight of my father, everything was in there, in that awkward dissonant and unique double “E”. So, I had first to cope with that, accept it and then make it mine.

Alright, I actually needed to find a way to get it properly under control and proudly mine. If correctly pronouncing an Italian word wasn’t enough to stop people from staring at me with that dopey look, I found my own strategy. The “surname-with-double-’E’-and-double-’T’”. It goes together now, as if was a single word without space nor pause. You have to say it in one single breath. As if it was a prayer. Because if you show yourself reluctant in any of this passage, you will receive “the look” back. I can’t stand it anymore, come on.

Eventually, I found the point when I’ve outgrown this too. There was once somebody that told me something very precious. When I told him my full name, he was so enthusiastic, and I mean genuinely enthusiastic, and exclaimed, “Wow, this is so director-style”. It sounded good.

I don’t really care about being famous, but I’d like to see my double “E” and “T” respected because they belong to me. I am not a single letter. I am an unusual combination of two vowels and two consonants that got together hand in hand, and walk straight and hard as armour.

Take that, Formula 1 single “E” pilot.

Legal notes from

The Nanjinger

in association with:

D’Andrea & Partners Legal Counsel

What’s in a Name? Matriarchal Clans vs. Britain vs. Portugal

From a historical perspective, the main function of "surname" is to "separate marriage", that is, to distinguish blood relationship. In

China, the progress and development of society has resulted in the legislation of surnames also changing accordingly.

Mainland China

On the mainland, the concept of surname can be traced back to the matriarchal clan period of primitive society. In those days, only the identity of a child’s mother was known, the father not. The "surname" was born in the patriarchal clan society. With the increasing scale, parts of the population were divided in order to facilitate management. Therefore, "branches" were generated on the basis of surname. As the sun set on the Qing Dynasty, especially after the rise of the New Culture Movement, the complex names of the ancients, as a symbol of feudal culture, gradually disappeared down the long river of history. After the founding of PRC, the Marriage Law of 1950 was promulgated. Therein, Article 11 of Chapter III clearly stipulates that husband and wife have the right to use their own surnames and first names. Since then, women have been encouraged to keep their own surname in overthrow to the previous situation.

Taiwan

Article 1000 of the Family Code of the Civil Law of 1929 promulgated by the National Government in Nanjing stipulates, "The wife shall be preceded by the husband's surname, and the redundant husband shall be preceded by the wife's surname with his own surname, unless otherwise stipulated by the parties”. The principle is to take the husband's surname as the principle and the absence of the husband's surname as the exception. However, in real life, except for the fashions of the upper class, ordinary take the exception as the principle and most women do not take the husband's surname. In 1998, the Article was amended thus: "Each husband and wife shall keep their own surname. However, they may agree in writing that their own surname shall be preceded by the spouse's surname and registered with the household administration authority”. For the younger generation in Taiwan, whether to take the husband's surname or not depends more on the free choice of both husband and wife.

Hong Kong

When it comes to Hong Kong, the proportion of married women in Hong Kong's political and business circles with their husband's surname is higher than in other industries; for example, Fuzhen Chenfeng (Margaret Chan), the first Chinese Director General of the World Health Organisation; and Yuee Linzheng (Carrie Lam), the first female Chief Executive of Hong Kong. Prior to 1971, there were no special marriage regulations for Chinese people in Hong Kong. They jointly regulated marriage in accordance with the laws and regulations of the Qing Dynasty, Chinese traditional customs and the British legal system. Under British customary law, the right of name is an important part of the personal relationship between husband and wife. Affected by this, Hong Kong women should adopt their husband's surname after marriage, or precede their own surname with their husband's surname. After the death of her husband, the widow can still use her husband's surname. As for those civil servants in Hong Kong, the permanent pension terms for those who do not take their husband's surname or precede their own surname with their husband's surname become temporary. Therefore, in order to win recognition, promotion and their own pension, women in politics have tended to precede their own surname with their husband's. Since 1971 however, Hong Kong has successively promulgated the laws and regulations which effectively protect women's rights in marriage, education, inheritance and land inheritance, childbirth, employment and taxation. They no longer need their husband’s surname.

Macao

Over in Macao, the situation of women taking their husband's surname is similar to that in Taiwan and Hong Kong, according to the relevant laws and regulations that have developed over time and the colonial culture left by Portugal in Macao. With changes in laws and concepts as to surnames confirming women's increasing awareness of choices and rights, in the final analysis, diverse options for women in society is not to provoke gender opposition, but to liberate more forces to promote social progress beyond stereotyped ideas.

DISCLAIMER This article is intended solely for informational purposes and does not constitute legal advice. Although the information in this article was obtained from reliable official sources, no guarantee is made with regard to its accuracy and completeness. For more information please visit dandreapartners.com or WeChat: dandreapartners