Don’t Mess with Mr Zero; The Names Chinese People Choose for themselves

Know anyone with a dog named “Coca Cola”, shortened to “Cola” (可乐 )? Turns out that is also in fact a real life surname for a human in China. Now everywhere has weird names. In the western world, many are the result of marriage whereby a maiden name is lost to a new surname which, when combined with the forename, can have some pretty hilarious consequences. This correspondent’s sister’s name rhymes, for example (it’s in French so the pronunciation might be a little lost here, but you get the point). Much fun has also been made during the last decade of the English names Chinese people choose for themselves. How may people do you know called Echo, Unicorn, even Stone and Mr. Zero (Remember him, and how we’re not to mess with him?). Writing as to the economic opportunity for Chinese youth, Geoff Gibson noted in a 2017 article for this very publication,

THE NAMES CHINESE PEOPLE CHOOSE FOR THEMSELVES

By Frank Hossack

“Emilys can send out forty resumes in Australia and will get at least some responses. Echos will get none. Claires will get interviews. Apples won’t. Jessicas will, in many cases, get the jobs they want in Sydney or London but, alas, there will be none for Unicorn.”

But the fact is, sometimes the Middle Kingdom can give its people some pretty weird Chinese names too. Meet Mr. Plaza (广场), Mrs. Exhibition (展览), Miss Car (汽车) and Master Temperature (温度), all real-world Chinese surnames, albeit they admittedly few and far between. These odd Chinese equivalents of double-barrelled surnames are not the end of the story. For China would not be China if there weren’t any people named after numbers, preferably those implying economic prosperity. It should therefore not come as a surprise that there exist a few folk wandering around today surnamed “Hundred” (百), “Thousand” (千), “Billion” (十亿) and “Trillion” (兆). Care should be exercised with the last; it also means “omen”. But not every “number name” may be financially auspicious. Because yes, there is also a Mr. Zero in China. “Ling” (零) is indeed a surname, but again, thankfully, like the Echoes and Unicorns before him, a very rare one.