Future Issue

the siren

feminist magazine of the university of oregon

the future issue

the siren winter 2011

editor-in-chief jennifer busby content editor laura castleman visual design jennifer busby kylie wray photography christen magaret lyndsey goforth words kylie wray jessica rojas nina nolen charlotte boesel publishers asuo women’s center office emu suite 3 university of oregon eugene, oregon 97402 email sirenwc@gmail.com phone 541.346.4095 fax 541.346.0620 ONLINE sirenmag.tumblr.com WWW.UOREGON.EDU/~WOMEN/ OFFICIAL BUSINESS The Siren is published and produced by the ASUO Women’s Center. We are the only student-led feminist publication on campus. It is our mission to cover contemporary feminist issues and act as an outlet for the creative and intellectual development of women.

Our staff consists of an editorial board of Women’s Center staff who solicit contributions from volunteer writers and artists.

cover information: photo by nasa, july 20 1969. buzz aldrin on the moon’s surface.

TABLE OF CONTENTS IMAGE BY ALLIE HARTMAN.

THE SIREN

winter

TWENTY11

INSIDE THIS ISSUE

contributors 04 credit where credit is due editor’s letter 05 righting wrongs news//response 06 be like lamike? no, thanks. our bodies, our health 07 staring down a death sentence

08 zapping pregnancy fears with iuds recipe 09 indigenous solidarity day feminist of the issue 10 colleen jones: compassion during trauma recipe 12 hearty soups bring back old friends do-it-yourself 13 dodge the draft with this simple craft wonder women 14 using comics to learn consent reviews 19 lube! and tyler perry’s take on a feminist classic across intersections 20 women in politics poetry 21 andrea valderamma “Fluid culture, liquid rhymes” real talk 22 second tries

“

FEMINISM NOT EXIST IN VACUUM. HULK SMASH FOR ALL FORMS OF SOCIAL JUSTICE! HULK NO LET HEGEMONY SNEAK IN THE BACK DOOR.

--feministhulk (via Twitter) the siren

3

contributors jess rojas Jessica Rojas is majoring in Environmental Studies and Ethnic Studies at the University Of Oregon. She serves as a board member for Red Lodge Transition Services, a program that assists Native American Women transitioning from incarceration. She is also co-founder of the Sustainable Medicine Project, which connects those in transition with environmental education and herbal remedies as self-care and a means to reduce recidivism. Her interests include social justice, sustainability in institutions, environmental restoration and the utilization (not systematic extermination) of non-native invasive plant species.

nina nolen Nina Moon Nolen is a sophomore at the University of Oregon. She went to art school for six whole years. Now, she majors in Women’s and Gender Studies and hopes to become a professional feminist when she grows up.

Her hobbies include cooking, crafting, baking, blogging, and smashing patriarchy. Her first feminist role models were Mulan, Nancy Drew, Tamora Pierce, and J.K. Rowling. She currently runs the blog Lipstick Feminists, which focuses on creating an equal and sex-positive world. She also writes press releases for the amazing ASUO Women’s Center. If she could have a superpower it would be giving contraceptives to everyone who needs them.

charlotte boesel Charlotte is a feminist with passion for healing. You can find her on a sewing machine creating a new line for the Resisting Militarism fashion show or helping someone feel less alone who spoke about surviving sexual assault. Charlotte was the Dan Savage of her high school, dispensing advice to her peers on sex, health and relationships.

are you a survivor of sexual assault, dating violence, stalking, or other sexist violence?

want to tell your story?

The Siren is partnering with Take Back the Night to help you share your stories of survival.

Submissions will be printed anonymously (unless other arrangements are made) in an April 2011 supplement.

All submitted stories will also be published online at sirenmag.tumblr.com/tagged/survival

contact svpe@gmail.com 4

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editor’s letter

Recognizing and Righting Wrongs

P

eople shift in and out of our lives, while our things remain the same. In the three years since I met my friend Atom, I’ve remained in Eugene while he’s lived both unreachably north and south. I still have his knife. He gave it to me in his bedroom, a freestanding building he finished himself. The wood paneled walls were covered in his graffiti. The silver edge has worn down to copper in my pocket, but the trains on the handle still gleam gold. I carry those fleeting memories in my pocket.

In this season of want, of giving and getting, we focus on physical things that are manifestations of nothing. My favorite things have been meals enjoyed around a warm table. Things are symbols of times I cannot carry in my pocket. So when my bag was stolen at a party, the loss ate a hole in my guts. Wallet and phone? Replaceable.

It was my notebooks that were strikingly absent. Those slim, handbound journals were weighted with a year’s thoughts, inventions, insecurities. I could go to the DMV for new driver’s license, but I couldn’t retrace the paths my pen had made.

I was lucky. In response to a craigslist post, those things came back to me. They were stowed in a knotted plastic grocery bag on the porch of the house I had partied at two nights earlier. Among them: Atom’s knife and my words. My father’s black beanie was gone, and so was the waterproof messenger bag that had kept the artifacts of my life safe. My journal had been marked with a note in blue pen on the first blank page the thief could find: Apology Im sorry I took your bag.

I was so alone and so full of rage.

I wanted something and you suffered for it.

You write terribly well.

I hope you get all your stuff back.

An offering of explanation. Regret. And a compliment. This person, who remains anonymous to me, has parsed through my things and read my words. They know my name and face and what lurks in my brain.

Though they stole something from me, they recognized it as unconscionable and made some effort to right the wrong they committed. It is the same with all our words and actions. When we see wrongs, we should make an effort to right them.

In the past weeks, we’ve pushed toward equality in new ways: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was repealed by Congress. Though it allows people with varied sexual orientations to serve in the military together, now is also an important time to think about the significance of armed combat as we launch forward into the future.

This issue, we’re focusing on the ways that we’re moving into the next decade and beyond.

Colleen Jones, our Feminist of the Issue, is changing the way

Winter is the best time to get foggy.

women at the University of Oregon feel about their pelvic exams (page 10). As a sexual assault nurse examiner, she has an opportunity to walk women through trauma and change the way women’s healthcare is experienced.

Charlotte shares seasonal soup recipes with her story of a friend who didn’t make it to the new year (page 12). I encourage you to make mealtime memories of your own. Gather around bowl of steaming soup and enjoy the people who are in your lives.

If you haven’t already, check out FeministHulk on Twitter. Allies are important to every social justice movement and, for feminists, this means rooting out our allies and encouraging them to be strong with us.

One that we won’t be inviting to the party (at least, not yet), is Tyler Perry, who turned a feminist classic into a Hollywood cash cow (Reviews, page 18).

Check out our blog at sirenmag.tumblr.com for more content.

I’m also proud to announce that, despite being somewhat of a Luddite, our magazine is now available online through issuu. Click through and download back issues from Fall 2009 to the current one at issuu.com/sirenmag.

As always, enjoy the issue and keep on smashing patriarchy!

JENNIFER BUSBY, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

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news//response

bad role models

La Michael James may be a star on the football field, but should fans view him as a role model? words by siren editorial staff photo by christen magaret

T

his fall, as Editor-inChief Jennifer Busby was walking through the University of Oregon campus to the student union, she spied something with her little eye that seemed to be not quite right. Someone was walking down the street wearing a T-shirt that loudly proclaimed, “I Wanna Be Like LaMike.”

Jennifer reported this to the rest of the staff when she arrived at a Siren meeting, and a raucous discussion followed. What was the point of this shirt? Who was making them? And, most importantly, did those who were making and wearing the shirt not know of LaMichael James’ history of “physical harassment?” Didn’t they care?

As it turns out, the shirts are being printed by Lane Community College student Jon Hampton. Hampton, 26, is married and plans to attend business school. His interests include “[his] wife” as well as “Russia, Lego, the economy” and the charming “bashing of hipsters any chance [he] get[s].”

Hampton was inspired to make the T-shirts by a Gatorade commercial (first aired in August 1991) that proclaimed, “I Wanna Be Like Mike,” featuring legendary basketball player Michael Jordan. (In it, Michael Jordan cheerfully plays basketball and slurps Gatorade with crowds of children playing basketball. It ends with the announcer saying, “Be like Mike – drink Gatorade.”) Hampton has been selling the T-shirts on the street around the University of Oregon out of a backpack.

Though he spoke to the Duck

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Store, they cannot stock the merchandise as, technically, it is illegal to profit off of the name of an amateur athlete.

But here’s the problem: Michael Jordan was never arrested on domestic violence charges. James was. In February 2010, James’ was taken into police custody after his thengirlfriend went to the police, telling them that he had “grabbed her around the neck and pushed her to the ground in a parking lot, leaving her with neck pain and abrasions.”

James was charged with five misdemeanor charges including strangulation, assault in the fourth degree, and physical harassment. James eventually reached a plea agreement and was officially charged with physical harassment. He was sentenced to ten days of prison followed by 24 months of probation after pleading guilty. (In the time between his initial release from jail, and the trial, James was under house arrest with an electronic ankle bracelet.) Due to overcrowding, he never served the additional eight days to his sentence (Two were spent in jail in February).

It’s odd that Jeremiah Masoli was suspended for a season for theft (of a computer) that was brought down to a misdemeanor, with no jail sentence, while James had to sit out for one game and was then back on the field in his role as the Ducks’ star running back. Do we truly value money and property more than the safety and health of a woman?

Are we more offended by theft from a fraternity house than by

violence?

Oregon’s athletic department has its priorities all mixed up.

James should not be receiving a scholarship at the University of Oregon—at least not for football. If he really wants to attend the school, fine. Let him go through the process to try to get financial aid like so many other students do.

Frankly, he shouldn’t be on the football team at all. We should have no tolerance for violence of any kind, on or off the field. As a society need to stop valuing football (which is, to clarify, a game) over safety and accountability.

In a letter to his former girlfriend that was included in court during the trial, James wrote, “I apologize to [exgirlfriend] both for the incident and everything she has had to go through since it happened.

I accept responsibility for my actions.” However, when he is asked to serve two years’ probation and suspension from a single game—the first game of the season, not a championship game at that—it seems like accepting responsibility can’t be all that hard.

When Jon Hampton is asked about James’ history with domestic violence, he bristles: “To address LaMichael James’ “history” of domestic violence, saying he has a history of domestic violence does not seem very accurate to me. A history of something would suggest that he has a long track record and as far as I know, the only incident was last February. Even this incident is alleged. He did plead guilty to harassment, was sentenced to 2 years probation, and 10 days in jail. The police later determined

our bodies, our health that being under surveillance via electronic bracelet was an appropriate alternative to serving the time in jail. All other charges were dropped. The fact is the only people who know what happened that night are him and his girlfriend at the time. For any of us who were not there to witness any alleged events, to think we know what happened and to pass judgment is outrageous.”

We don’t need to have been there. James admitted to his actions in a letter of apology, and what’s more – we believe survivors of such violence.

Hampton tells us, “to those who are offended by them, I would say either don’t buy one from me or take some time to do a serious evaluation of themselves and determine if they are in any position to have the holier-than-thou attitude they have.”

Condemning domestic violence is not being holierthan-thou. These sorts of pathetic defenses form the culture we live in where domestic violence ais pushed under the rug. Our anger is justified. Our anger is legitimate. Living on a campus where the paper runs fullpage photos of someone who is known to have physically assaulted his girlfriend means living in a patriarchal culture.

To those who object to these shirts, as I am, speak up. Tell your friends how pissed you are. Tell your family. Tell your peers. Come by the Women’s Center and get involved.

Instead of buying Duck football memorabilia, donate that money to WomenSpace (womenspaceinc.org) or another organization of your choosing that supports survivors of domestic violence and works to dismantle patriarchal culture.

Together, we can work to end the glorification of abusers and celebrate those people we truly think are great: those who don’t wanna be like LaMike.

ONE IN EIGHT HOW DO YOU RESPOND WHEN YOU SUDDELY BECOME A STATISTIC? WORDS BY JULIE REID

O

n what was nearly a whim, I did a self breast exam.

To my amazement, there it was: a lump. My superficial knowledge of breast cancer statistics was reassuring, as less than ten percent of tumors turn out to be cancerous. I was determined not to panic, and it helped that I was in my first term as a freshman, and had enough classwork to distract me. However, I was not prepared to be one of the 1 in 8 women who will get breast cancer in her lifetime, nor for the health care system that requires women to make long term, difficult decisions, while being overwhelmed with a life threatening disease.

The initial exam at the UO Health Center confirmed the lump, and then I was sent to an immediate appointment with another doctor, then yet another for a biopsy and an ultrasound, culminating in a phone call from the Health Center four hours before winter closing: my tests were positive.

I did not know how to react. I felt like I should be dramatic somehow, but all I felt was numbness. Was this big?

Of course, it’s cancer. Or no big deal? Millions of women have had it and they are still here, talking about it on TV. I was overwhelmed in waves.

I told myself that it would be no worse than a recent

knee operation. Unmercifully, images and statistics from the internet showed massive, red mastectomy scars, arms like sausages from lymphedema, burns from radiation, bald heads from chemotherapy, and statistics that I really could die.

My mother was anxious to get on the phone to tell her friends and our distant family about my condition. I said no.

Why, because it was cancer, was everyone entitled to know about this disease that had invaded an intimate part of my body? I could not be like one woman I know who posted her upcoming biopsy on Facebook.

No one calls cross country to tell a friend that someone has heart disease, which annually kills more women than cancer.

Why the drama? I didn’t want anyone to know, because it was physically personal and emotionally I felt I would be judged. “What did you do?” and “How did this happen?” are common questions asked by patients and their friends and family. A part of me accepted that verdict; I felt guilty.

Somehow I must have done something wrong, or that my lifestyle had caught up with me.

As I relaxed my guidelines on Who Should Know, I found that I was right to be selective.

The same woman who posted her biopsy on Facebook forgot that I had previously told her

2.5

1 in 8

breast cancer survivors living in the U.S. in 2010

will develop invasive breast cancer in their lives

million

women

about my diagnosis. Another friend I never heard from again.

On the day of my mastectomy surgery, a lifelong friend told me to “break a leg”, as if this was not a serious situation.

Conversely, doctors and nurses, whose behavior I expected to be rather matter of fact and positive, looked at me with big sad eyes. Their sympathy made me wonder if there was something they were not telling me.

There was no reaction that did not offend me. If someone was too sensitive, I got defensive said I was fine. Too upbeat or blase made me manic, “What do you know?! I could DIE!”.

Do not suggest it is a gift. It’s scary, painful, expensive and time consuming.

I found comfort in a local breast cancer support group, open only to women who have been diagnosed. Our sisterhood is phenomenal. What I have been through, so have these strong, warm, compassionate women. Their knowing nods and breadth of experience creates a bridge of caring and understanding that cannot be duplicated by friends or family.

We have walked through this door, and out the other side, where everything looks a little more in focus, and the colors a little brighter.

28

percent

of cancer diagnosed in women is breast cancer the siren

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our bodies, our health

zapping our contraception worries away

Don’t be bugged by bugs—order now and be ready for your next picnic, barbecue, fishing or camping trip!

words by nina nolen I have been on birth control since I was 15 years old. Until the beginning of September I had been taking oral contraceptives for four years. The pill had made me moody, nauseous, bleed too much, bleed too little—almost every symptom under the sun.

I had heard of another type of contraception: an intrauterine device (IUD).

Planned Parenthood defines intrauterine devices as small “T-shaped” devices made of flexible plastic that are inserted into uterus to prevent pregnancy. There are only two different types of IUDs available in the United States: ParaGard and Mirena. The first contains copper and is effective for 12 years. The copper makes the uterus and fallopian tubes produce fluid containing white blood cells, copper ions, enzymes, and prostaglandins that are toxic to sperm. Mirena releases a small amount of progestin that thickens the cervical mucus to block sperm from entering the uterus as well as preventing ovulation so that there is no egg for the sperm to join with. Both are over 99 percent effective when used correctly.

Contraceptives have been used throughout the centuries.

Along with the pull out method 8

the siren

women have used olive oil, pomegranate pulp, ginger, tobacco juice, crocodile dung, honey, gums from various trees, drinks containing fruits and grains, water that blacksmiths used to cool hot metals, peach pits, urine, animal parts, mercury arsenic, half a lemon, a large wooden block, oiled or waxed paper, along with many other things.

It is said that the first IUDs were created by merchants who would put pebbles in the uteruses of camels to prevent them from getting pregnant on long trips.

Dr. Gräfenberg in Germany invented the first official IUD for human use in the 1920s.

It was a circle shaped device wrapped in silk threads that was covered with fine silver wire.

The metal caused the uterus to inflame and create a hostile environment for sperm. In the 1950s, Lazar C. Margulies is credited with making the first plastic IUD, but its large size disenchanted consumers.

Paragard and Mirena were developed in the 1970s and have gained in popularity since.

My journey with the IUD began over the summer of 2010.

I was fed up with the pill and had been eyeing the smallerthan-palm sized pieces of plastic in the doctor’s office for

long enough. I called Planned Parenthood and nervously asked the on-call nurse “How do I get my IUD?” I was told that I needed to get an annual exam first. When in Portland I go to Kaiser Permanente clinics. I gave them a ring to schedule my first annual: “Kaiser Scheduling, how may I help you?”

“Hi! I need to schedule my first annual.”

“Alright, are you 21 or older?”

“No.” “Have you been sexually active for more than three years?”

“No.” “I’m sorry, we won’t be able to schedule you an annual.”

“But I want to get my IUD!” “I’m sorry, there is nothing I can do. Have a nice day!”

Click.

I was upset and proceeded to whine to my friends.

Eventually, I called Planned Parenthood. They agreed to give me an annual, counseling appointment, and eventually place the IUD. The day came when I nervously rested my feet in the stirrups as the nurse prepped all the materials. After a quick five minutes of anesthetic spray, a shot in the cervix, and some uncomfortable pressure I was done! I had an IUD! Ever since then I have been in

love with my t-shaped piece of plastic. Beside a bit of cramping and spotting, my recovery has been great. My IUD is the highlight of my life: no longer do I have to worry about taking a pill and my Mirena has such a low dose of hormones that I don’t get nauseous like I did on the pill.

Is an IUD right for you?

If you feel compelled to have more protection then just a condom (which you should be using every time), don’t want to take a pill every day or a shot every month, don’t feel that you have time to use the fertility awareness model, or types of spermicide, then the IUD may be right for you. If you do not want hormones, the Paragard would be a great option.

IUDs can seem costly at first(around 500 to 600 dollars), but compared to 30 dollars a month for 5 or 12 years ($1800 and $4320 respectively) the t-shaped piece of plastic seems worth it. Most people also qualify for financial assistance, which makes the IUD low cost if not free. Interested? I suggest calling your gynecologist or the local Planned Parenthood or your local woman and sex positive health clinic for more information.

momentum

standing in solidarity allying ourselves with indigenous peoples instead of celbrating the man credited with “discovering” america is a way to deepen our understanding of the brutal colonial history of the americas. words by jessica rojas ndigenous Solidarity Day (ISD) brings students, faculty and community members together to express solidarity with indigenous people everywhere and attempts to educate and change the way we observe Columbus Day. To some, taking a stance against Columbus Day doesn’t seem like a big deal.

But to others, its celebration is a symbol of the ongoing consequences of colonialism.

Observing Columbus Day as a federal holiday reinforces an ideology that claims this land was uninhabited before Europeans “discovered” it. But is colonization a fair and friendly practice? Does it fall within the scope of human rights and social justice?

The arrival of Columbus opened the door for the enslavement and inhumane treatment of indigenous peoples of Africa and the Caribbean.

The outcome of his “discovery” has tainted our country and others for centuries, where residual effects like racism still linger. Is it fair or right to celebrate someone had a negative impacton the people of Central and South America and the surrounding islands?

Who are we, as US citizens, to celebrate someone who expanded the slave trade?

Columbus compared himself, in his writings, to biblical scriptures and made way for Spain, Portugal and the Catholic Church to introduce laws and decrees. These countries

I

claimed exclusive control over indigenous peoples, who they enslaved and exploited. Their main objective was assimilation and to make them their servants, requiring tribute and taxes. Yet, we celebrate our own independence day in the US. It is contradictory to celebrate our liberation from those who oppressed us while also celebrating our oppression of others?

Some progressive Italians are also asking for Columbus Day to be changed, possibly into Italian Heritage Day. They want it to be recognized in the way that Oktoberfest is to those of German decent in the US. The focus is promoting Italian culture, history and Italian contributions to US History.

Historically, Columbus did not touch North America. His ship did not land here, nor did he think he was coming here.

Why does this continent, this

country especially, celebrate his name as a holiday? Others have claimed to have touched North American soil first and we do not celebrate those individuals.

The only other person who has their own federally recognized holiday is Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Ceasar Chavez Day is celebrated as an official state holiday in only eight states.

Many have begun to recognize these holidays as not days of rest but of service. Should the Federal government be resting on Columbus Day? If so, why?

How much does their day of rest cost us, the common people?

Governor Schwarzenegger eliminated Columbus Day as a state paid holiday as a way to balance California’s budget. The Service Employees International Union (SEIU) 1000, the union representing many California state workers took him to court and won. The new contract proposed by the SEIU 1000

would give state employees two floating holidays, but would no longer officially recognize Columbus Day or Lincoln’s Birthday. The governor is appealing.

If we don’t know and speak the truth about the past, or we continue to perpetuate a false ideology about the past, how can we make wise decisions that will shape the future in a way that is accurate, honest and reflects who we are in the present?

Being present in the truth means being upfront about the past; otherwise, the future will be built upon a mirage. So how can we as a society make good decisions for our future generations unless we get real about the past? The present I want to leave for our up and coming is one where we’re not afraid to learn, know and speak the truth, even when it isn’t comfortable in the beginning. the siren

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feminist of the issue

care with compassion Pelvic exams with Nurse Practitioner Colleen Jones are memorable—for all the right reasons.

words by KYLIE WRAY photo by christen magaret

I

t’s probably one of the more menacing experiences in a woman’s life (apart from childbirth): getting a pelvic exam. It’s an experience only made more awkward by waiting on a table in a front-tie paper dress with only the stirrups to stare at.

But what if exams don’t have to be as bad as our gender has been frightened into thinking? What if your pelvic exam could be spared performance by a 50 year old male gynecologist (who delivered your brother and can’t believe how ‘big’ you’re getting), for a pair of more compassionate and understanding hands? This is a reality that Women’s health Nurse Practitioner Colleen Jones has helped create at the UO health center for nearly 20 years.

As a Nurse Practitioner at the Health Center, Jones is able to practice independently in the area of women’s health and provides services to female students daily. Common aspects of her job include performing pap smears, contraceptive counseling, treatment for

10 the siren

bladder infections, vaginal infections, pelvic infections, breast masses, severe menstrual cramps, and painful sex. Not only does Jones help women with their everyday (or monthly) health, she is also a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE) and provides an important support system for victims of sexual assault. She is one of 3 SANEs working with students through the University health center. In her job as a SANE she not only provides for a victim’s medical needs, she also assures them all resources available for maintaining their physical and mental health.

SIREN: Why did you choose to become a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner?

COLLEEN: Unfortunately, sexual assault is, as you well know, not an uncommon experience, including on a University campus. Just because we see it so frequently I decided to do the training and we’re lucky in Oregon that the Attorney General has a sexual assault task force. They have put a lot of money and a lot of time into training

response members for sexual assault...So, Oregon’s really done a good job, and it’s statewide. My training was free. They hold SANE trainings every other year...They really do a lot of outreach. They’re a really good resource and a lot of state’s don’t have that.

S: What should a victim do to prepare for an examination?

C: They can bring a support person with them if they so desire. It needs to be someone that they are comfortable with. I don’t want them to be worrying about their friend’s response; they’re their to take care of themselves. It depends on when they come in but if the assault has just occurred it’s good not to eat, not to drink, not to smoke, [and] to bring in the clothing worn during and after the assault. If there’s a concern for a drug facilitated assault (alcohol is the most commonly used drug to facilitate a sexual assault)…they’re hard because they leave the body very quickly. So if you can do a urine collection within 24 hours sometimes you

documenting trauma: sexual assault nurse examinations Everything done in a sexual assault examination depend entirely on the wants and decisions of the survivor. They have the final say in which services they take part in. A SANE’s job is to make sure all possible options are available to the survivor. All aspects of a survivor’s story and chosen services are thoroughly documented. If an appointment is made within a week of the assault, all services are free.

Available services include: - A Physical Examination - A physical exam is head to toe, and includes a pelvic exam (if a victim so desires). Most victims choose not to take part in a physical exam.

- Evidence Collection - Collected evidence is helpful if a sexual assault is reported to the

authorities.

- Report to either Law Enforcement or the University - Very few cases do get reported to Eugene Police Department, but a student can also report an assault through the University of Oregon as a violation of the student conduct code.

- Antibiotics - Getting an antibiotic prophylaxis is offered to prevent infections such as chlamydia, and gonorrhea. More victims of assault choose to take such antibiotics.

- Emergency Contraception - Many women also choose to take Plan B as needed. ~ Follow-up Care - Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners such as Colleen Jones often provide continued care to victims for effects of trauma such as anxiety, depression, insomnia, and drops in academic performance.

can capture it...You can do a forensic exam for up to 96 hours after sexual assault, the sooner the better. Most sexual assault is a known perpetrator; it’s an acquaintance.

It’s not typically a stranger assault where DNA is going to help find their perpetrator.

In most sexual assault it’s ‘he said vs. she said’ and my getting his DNA off of her is really not going to make that much of a difference, because he’s not denying that there was sexual contact. You can’t really prove consent by a physical exam…The physical exam, while it’s important…it’s really about getting the whole story down as accurately as possible.

S: What advice would you give to those victims too scared or embarrassed to get an exam?

C: They won’t be met with any judgement when they come here. That we’re here to take care of their needs and we’re not going to judge them for drinking alcohol or feel that because they were incredibly intoxicated that they deserve to be assaulted.

That’s one of the things that drives me crazy. If you get a hangover, that’s a natural consequence of too much alcohol. Getting raped is not a natural consequence of too much alcohol. As you’re probably well aware, [women] are very good at self blame...but we don’t but into that. So when they come here they’re not going to get judged because they were drunk. And I don’t care what they were wearing or how short their skirt was...It’s confidential when they come here. They’re parents aren’t going to find out that they were here...Services are free if it’s within a week of the assault. There is a sexual assault victim’s emergency fund provided by the state of Oregon. Again, very few states do that. And everything’s covered; emergency contraception, the exam, the

medication: free. The health center will also eat the cost if for some reason we can’t use the fund.

S: What’s the most challenging part about being a SANE? C: There are days that I never want to let my daughter out of my sight...Because it’s very traumatizing, and it’s life changing.

And I know that they then have a long road of healing. Our goal is to start that healing process early. We have the unfortunate history of victims being re-traumatized by those that are supposed to be helping them: law enforcement, doctors, nurses, who are just not very well trained and they basically provide care with judgement all over the place, implying that it was their fault. The goal is to provide comprehensive care without re-traumatizing them. I encourage women to come in early because the earlier you can try to deal with the many assaults on your being, the less likely you’re going to have problems with anxiety, depression, insomnia, or poor academic performance...It’s having somebody let them know that they’re not at fault, that they didn’t deserve it, that they’re not now a tainted individual...Plenty of women, once they’re assaulted, feel now inferior. They feel unwanted, unloveable...It’s our goal to reduce the effects of the trauma as much as possible.

S: People have said that your exams are some of the most comfortable they’ve gotten. Did you have a past experience to influence the way you work?

C: Partly it’s my personality; partly because I’m very much of a caretaker. I’m very compassionate, and I want people to be comfortable. I originally was going to be a Family Nurse Practitioner. But then when I landed in San Francisco without a

job, without insurance, and with a vaginal infection, and no money because I had just been traveling for six months, I was referred to a free women’s clinic...So I was a patient there twice to deal with this infection. I just loved it, and I ended up being a volunteer there for 4 years. It was a feminist clinic with all these great women.

They were supportive, they were smart and compassionate, and they just took such good care of the patients. That’s when I decided to focus on women’s health. Also, I think it’s because I’m comfortable with my sexuality…If you can’t be comfortable with yourself, it’s really hard to help someone else. Especially in issues with sexual health.

Our culture is really still hung up and we have yet to figure out that yes we are sexual beings and it’s ok...Generally women are not happy with their bodies and we just have a lot of cultural issues that are especially hard on women. When women come in for exams, some of why it’s uncomfortable is because we’re a very modest culture.

We’re pretty much taught from birth to not expose your genitals to anyone, including yourself, and then you have to come in and expose it all to someone you’ve never met. I recognize that, so I’m conscious of that...I’ve been doing this for so long that I know what women are thinking about...

So when I give someone a diagnosis, I know where their brain is going and...I answer all of those questions before they even have to ask them...that’s why I tend to run behind schedule. My patients know that if I’m behind it’s because somebody needed me, and they know they’d get the same care if they needed it.

Jone’s patients have developed a certain love and appreciation for her. Charlotte Boesel is one such patient. She described Jones as really warm, friendly and not scary at all, nothing compared to the anxiety that can come along with a visit for sexual health. “I don’t feel any judgement with her,” said Boesel. Boesel explained it’s easy to talk to Jones, and that she is sex-positive.

“Especially with those awkward things that I know I should be doing but I’m not.

I don’t feel like I’m being reprimanded.”

Boesel also described Jones demeanor as non-threatening during the exam, that she is especially gentle. “And she always asks me about how my life is going and things I’ve told her in the past,” finished Boesel. Jones is not only a valuable resource in the student female community she has also become a positive feminist support system to those in need. the siren

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recipe

soup season Words by charlotte boesel

I noticed him instantly as he quietly walked in, purple hoodie on, black skater shoes, jeans, and a beautiful face. His shoulders were hunched completely over, his posture denoted an awkward but kind and gentle feel. We didn’t sit next to each other that day, but I cried like usual while the fedup counselor shushed me.

In the next class I shared my homework about my conception of a higher power, and Troy gave me feedback. Time blurred his exact words, but we onnected in that moment.The following classes we sat next to each other. Our counselor did not like the new seating arrangement. She interrogated me after class, asking if we had a romantic relationship (which was not allowed).

“No, of course not Tiffany, I don’t like him that way,” I replied.

“Oookay,” she said in disbelief as she rolled her eyes and walked away.

The first time Troy and I hung out was on a Friday, we spent almost the whole day together. Our adventure started with a cup of coffee, then Troy had the brilliant idea of going to the smoke shop on Thirteenth and

Fend off the winter chills with warm soup and fond memories of good friends.

getting shisha and smoking hookah.

“Heck yes!” I said, and off we walked.

I ended up buying a hookah, coals, red melon shisha, and a lighter just in case there wasn’t one at my house. I picked the small purple hookah in the glass case, behind the other red and yellow ones. Troy and I shared our love for the color purple. We felt good vibes from the color of the hookah, and we walked back, excited by the prospect of smoking on my deck.

Troy set everything up: he folded the tin foil, poked the holes, lit the coal and started puffing to ignite the shisha. Wowla! We were smoking red apple flavored shisha and sipping on more coffee. After the smoke session, we retreated into the warmth of my apartment to talk. We shared our hatred for Tiffany, and laughed about a kid in our group, then the conversation shifted to heroin.

I asked what it was like and he said flaty, “It’s fun.”

I felt at ease with Troy, and I was an open book with him. I felt comfortable telling him about my life and answering any

Autumn Stew 1-1/2 cups water or vegetable stock 1 tablespoon low-sodium soy sauce 1 onion, chopped 1 red bell pepper, diced 4 large garlic cloves, minced 1 pound (about 4 cups) kabocha squash or other winter squash 1 15-ounce can chopped tomatoes 1-1/2 teaspoons chili powder 1/2 teaspoon cumin 1/4 teaspoon black pepper 1 15-ounce can kidney beans 1-1/2 cups fresh or frozen corn Heat 1/2 cup water and soy sauce in a large pot, then add the onion, bell pepper, and garlic and cook over 12 the siren

medium heat until the onion is translucent and most of the water evaporates.

Cut the squash in half and remove its seeds, then peel and cut it into 1/2-inch cubes.

(Or use frozen squash already cut into 1/3 inch cubes). Add squash cubes to the onion mixture, along with the chopped tomatoes, remaining 1 cup water, oregano, chili powder, cumin, and pepper.

Cover and simmer until the squash is just tender when pierced with a fork, or about 20 minutes, then add the kidney beans with their liquid and the corn. Cook 5 minutes longer.

questions; I think he felt the same way.

Troy and I shared some of the most intimate moments. I cannot explain what our friendship felt like. Our favorite topics to discuss were conspiracy theories, aliens, how the government was trying to cover up aliens, Michael Tsarion and David Icke, religion, God, and anything else that came up. Troy was passionate about music and he was a DJ. He played trance, drum and bass, and other genres of techno music. He was talented and passionate; we would lose ourselves dancing.

One of my favorite memories of Troy was when we hung out one night and I made vegetable soup for dinner. He loved it. He watched me prepare everything and helped along the way. Troy loves vegetables. Our conversation about organic food spiraled and ignited further ideas and thoughts: dinner was delicious, Monsanto is evil.

Mind control. Corruption. Vegetables are good for you, artificial food-like-substances are not. Resist corporate control and enjoy this amazing vegetable soup that reminds me of my best friend!

Vegan Bean and Barley Vegetable Soup 1/2 onion, diced 2 ribs celery, diced 2 carrots, diced any other vegetables desired, 1/2 cup each 2 tbsp oil or margarine 8 cups water or vegetable broth 1 cup pearled barley, uncooked 1 cup pinto or white beans, pre-soaked if dry 1/3 cup tomato paste or crushed tomatoes 1/4 tsp salt 1/2 tsp pepper 1/4 tsp celery salt (optional) 1/2 tsp basil 1/2 tsp oregano or Italian spice mix 1/2 tsp thyme 1 tsp onion powder (optional)

2 large bay leaves In a large soup pot, sautee the onions, celery, carrots and any other vegetables for 3-5 minutes. Add vegetable broth or water and all other ingredients and bring to a simmer, then reduce heat to medium low.

Allow to simmer for at least an hour, stirring occasionally, until barley is soft and somewhat fluffy. Add more spices to taste and enjoy!

do-it-yourself

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wonder women

COMICS BRING buoyancy TO DISCUSSIONS OF CONSENT WORDS BY LAURA CASTLEMAN comics by maisha foster-o’neal reprinted with permission

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aisha Foster-O’Neal (known in the art world as Maisha – “like Rihanna or Jesus,” she says) is a 22 year old Portland-born queer feminist artist. She is involved in social change through youth empowerment. We love Maisha’s way of operating as she described it to us: “LGBTQ rights, HIV/AIDS awareness and activism, and generally smashing the racist, patriarchal, classist system on which the United States relies. I do activism through art, through writing and performance, through educating myself and others, through community service, and through conversation.” Go Maisha!

This badass artist was inspired to write her Consent Comics after a visit from the Dating Doctor to her college campus as a Valentine’s Day event. He gave a presentation about relationship advice that was funny – but extremely troubling. Maisha “decided to send [her] own counter message about open, honest communication and consent.” She uses humor as digestible way of conveying an educational message, and a pen-and-ink comic because she had been experimenting with that medium.

On the next pages, find all three parts of Maisha’s comic “Sex Talk.” Responses to her work have been mixed--when reading only the first part of the series, critics have pointed to the comic as heteronormative.

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Maisha contests this criticism by pointing to the work as a complete series. She defends her work, which is inclusive when viewed as a whole.

Practicing enthusiastic consent has helped her to recognize and understand her own boundaries – she also reminds her friends that it is okay to say no, whether she is asking if they would like to lend her a book or get it on.

For those interested in further reading, Maisha recommends the zine “Learning Good Consent.” Find it online at microcosmpublishing.com.

Maisha’s Three Most Important Things To Know About Consent: 1. Consent is not the absence of a “no;” it’s the presence of a genuine, enthusiastic “yes!”

2. Using active consent shows your maturity; it’ll earn you mad points with the person or people you’re trying to impress.

3. Consent is useful in all sorts of situations, not just sexual ones. It can support your whole style of communication.

REVIEWS

“For colored girls”: melodrama is not enuf In adapting the feminist classic for film, Tyler Perry reminds us of what he does best: exploiting the stories of African Americans for the benefit of his own pocketbook. words by jennifer busby In 1975, Ntozake Shange’s For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide/When the Rainbow is Enuf debuted and rose to critical acclaim over the next two years. The piece won both an Obie and a Tony award and, in small theaters across the nation, continues to resonate with a spectrum of women.

Last year, a professor recommended the book to me.

At the time, I was researching the ways that women cope with violence through poetry and prose. Shange’s work stunned me. How had I missed her for so long?

I read her collection of poetry, Nappy Edges, as well. Her style is unconventional—and remains fresh after more than 30 years. Shange departs from conventional grammar and spelling to write in a language that, she says, better reflects the speech and experiences of those in her community.

“I am a war correspondent after all,” she told Stella Dong of Publisher’s Weekly, “because I’m involved in a war of cultural and esthetic aggression.”

For Colored Girls Who Have 18 the siren

Considered Suicide/When the Rainbow is Enuf chronicles the war between black men and women, but it isn’t cloying. The piece is funny at times, gutwrenching at others.

Searching YouTube calls forth clips of the production from theater troupes across the nation. It is a humble production, in terms of staging.

Seven women speak. They are identified only by color: the Lady in Red, the Lady in White, etc. Shange calls this kind of production a “choreopoem;” it utilizes spoken word, song, and dance in a pared-down show.

Because of its minimalism, reading the text is an effective way to hear Shange’s words.

The piece builds upon itself gradually. The last piece in the book gave me chills the first time I read it, and every time since. I am not a woman of color, so this work is valuable to me as a tool for learning and understanding the experiences of women with lives that may differ from mine.

Award-winning director Nzingha Stewart was slated to direct the hollywood adaptation

of Shange’s work, but ended up as an executive producer. She “handled the initial childbirth,” convincing the studio that the piece could be made into a film and “getting the right people involved.” She goes on to explain that, while she wrote the draft screenplay, Tyler Perry (who created gun-toting granny Madea and wrote/starred in Diary of a Mad Black Woman) took over and managed all of the aspects of the film, including writing, directing, editing, and promotion.

In an Associated Press interview, Perry explains his decision to make the film: he kept getting phone calls asking if he would have a part in bringing the legendary stage show alive. He refused a number of times. “I didn’t know anything about it, but somebody called and asked me if I’d be interested in producing it on Broadway. I said no,” he said. He picked up the project after repeated requests indicated that he should pay attention.

His relationship with this piece of feminist history is clearly different from the

relationship the female actors have. To Perry, “For Colored Girls” is another cash cow.

To those whose experiences are enunciated by the original choreopoem, this film was an opportunity to present the black female experience in a way unexplored by Hollywood.

Unfortunately, Perry’s unfamiliarity with this piece and its importance undercuts the entire production. The direction feels exploitative. Rather than expressing the varied experiences of African American women, this film casts their lives as a condition of their color.

Part of the power of Shange’s work is in its minimalism—a consideration that went out the window during filming.

Instead of powerful words, we have melodrama woven poorly together. There are too many narratives to flow together coherently. We’re left with stilted monologues while the other characters in the scene look on, glassy-eyed.

The University’s Knight Library owns a copy of the original play. Skip Perry’s film—pick up the book instead.

tidy house with plants, not harsh chemicals

Good clean love: a stellar choice for slick situations

words by jennifer busby Raleigh Briggs’ book, Make Your Place, won’t tell you to buy all-natural toothpaste at your local co-op. Instead, Briggs will tell you that with some chalk, baking soda, vegetable glycerin, a pinch of stevia and a few drops of essential oil, you can make your own.

This guide to “affordable, sustainable nesting skills” is a more substantial guide than Briggs’ other published work: small photocopied zines that focus on herbal first aid and housecleaning. Although more formally bound, her guide preserves the handmade aesthetic. All lettering and illustration is done by hand.

Her writing is playful and adds fun to the guide. In the gardening section, she explains plant-pairing by organizing the kinds of plants into a buddy system that includes “good buddies” and a “bad buddy.”

Tomatoes play well with carrots, cabbage and spinach, but their “bad buddy” is corn.

Other sections include information on composting, herbal first-aid, making teas and

words by jennifer busby tinctures, non-toxic cleaning, and body care. Information about which essential oils are antimicrobial and what herbs kill head lice are helpful to those who are new to herbal cleaning and medicine.

She also goes into detail about complicated topics like soil pH and which oils to choose for body products if you have oily, dry, or sensitive skin. Her guide to making salves, infusions, decoctions, and poultices requires a few read-throughs to make sense, but those with a greater understanding of these processes may find her information easier to digest.

Briggs is sensitive in her advice. Most of her recipes are vegan; those that are not include notes about substitutions that can be made to veganize them.

At the end of the book is a resources section that points readers to more authoritative sources. For example, Briggs admits a lack of knowledge about herbal contraception and abortion, but provides information about two zines on herbal gynecology.

Sometimes a lady needs some lube. Traversing the options can be a challenge. Fortunately, there’s one outstanding example that is both cruelty-free and non-irritating.

Good Clean Love’s Almost Naked is compatible with both latex and silicone. It washes off easily with water and a little bit of soap. It’s formulated without glycerin, so those of us who are prone to yeast infections won’t worry about flare-ups or irritation. The lube is also vegan: that means cruelty-free!

Because it is a water-based lubricant, its consistency is best for sex involving vaginal penetration. Thicker lubes are better for anal sex. That skin is more delicate, so it requires a longer-lasting, more substantial lube. Silicone is a good choice in those instances.

Some lubes smell strongly of chemicals or fragrance.

This one doesn’t smell like anything, meaning it does only what it’s supposed to: reduce uncomfortable friction. Good Clean Love, a woman-owned company, also makes their lube

in lavender rose and vanilla cinnamon scents. Its discreet packaging fits right in among lotions and other products.

Almost Naked does not contain spermicide, so while it will not kill any sperm that may come into the equation, it also won’t irritate mucous membranes and delicate skin.

Such irritation can create an entry point for STIs and make sex less safe.

Like other water-based lubes, it dries out after a while. When it does, just add a little moisture and it’s back to full slickness.

It can be a surprise later when you’re taking a shower and you’re suddenly very slippery, but it washes away to leave clean, irritatation-free skin.

Find this outstanding lube online and in boutique sex shops like Portland’s SheBop (www.shebop.com). Or you can head down to your semilocal grocer: Fred Meyer carries Almost Naked too.

Other Eugene retailers include Sundance, Market of Choice, Broadway Apothecary, Friendly Market, Kiva, and Legit Misfit. the siren

19

ACROSS INTERSECTIONS Mario Battaglia

Women, politics, and everything in between

Difficulty: Easy, with a dollop of challenge

1

ACROSS

1. Exclamation of endearment one might give toward actress Jenna Fischer on the sitcom The Office 6. T.V. chnnl. with primetime spots Nova and Frontline 9. The ________ Pudding Women of the Year Award, Harvard’s theatrical society honor won by Anne Hathaway for 2010 14. Word for vulva 15. Fish eggs 16. Tales of Passion, Tales _______ ________, by Sanda Gulland is a harrowing story of Josephine who becomes Mrs. Napoleon Bonaparte.

17.Thoughts a woman might have when pondering a hetero relationship?

19. _______America starring Felicity Huffman as Bree 20. Part 1 of quote on women and politics from Reshma Yaqub’s Text, Translation and Commentary 22. Yoko ______, partner to Lennon 23. ______ Anderson, filmmaker of Bottle Rocket and Rushmore 24. Part 2 of women and politics quote 29. Slant 31. _______ coxae (hip bones) 32. “Keep it on the down _______” 35. Feeminism: movement aimed at establishing and defending _______ political, economic, and social rights and _______ opportunities for women 37. Machine that holds the dough when you’re rushed on the go, acr.

38. “All hell broke _______!”

40. “Today I’m handing out lollipops and ___ whoopins, and right now I’m all out of lollipops”--Grace from sitcom Will and Grace 41. _______ of office 43. G-_______ 44. Part 3 of women and politics quote 49. Red Dragon Karate, acr.

50. “______ Lady of Guadalupe” 51. Part 4 of women and politics 56. The Second _______ a 1981 book

by Betty Friedan author of The Feminine Mystique 58. “The romanticization of the racial, ethnic or cultural ‘Other’, yet the simultaneous oppression and exploitation that occurs with it” (as termed by Kamala Kempadoo) 61. Bills, in Europe 62. Gervais Salon and Day _______ 63. Espresso and milk 64. Eases off, as in nourishment 65. The dominate in a sexual act 66. Bier _______, tasty, and fun Eugene restaurant and bar on 11th—Go now!

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1. State localized T.V. network that collaborates a lot with 6 across 2. Shade or tone of color 3. Standardized test by the College Board one might take in high school 4. U of O undergrad government body 5. One’s hero, it could be described as 6. Hunt, as a lion would an antelope 7. Franz _______, “Father of Anthropology” and strong advocate for eliminating racial inequality and racism 8. NW NE opposite 9. Sun baked iron or steel—“ouch!”

10. “To make _______ start” (2 wds) 11. Pond bird 12. 2000 pounds 13. Consent 18. Actor who played older brother Dwayne in Little Miss Sunshine, Paul ________ 21. Possesses 24. Makeup for the cheeks 25. The approx. scheduled landing 26. City in central core of Germany 27. Denotes a state, condition, or belief 28. To run away with a lover 29. Coffee replacement perhaps?

30. Assessments of intellect, as in 186

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received by Marilyn Vos Savant 33. Bear, in Mexico 34. ________: True Lesbian Sex Stories edited by Nicole Foster 36. Sonorousness 37. The Cat ________ My Gymsuit by Paula Danziger 39. _______ Kosh B’gosh, kids clothing 42. _______ Mexican!, (2 wds) recent but temporary Eugene Weekly column 45. State where Abigail Scott Duniway was the first woman to register to vote 46. Lack of lather, perhaps 47. Song for two 48. Rails to _______, non-profit group 51. ________ Gilbert, openly out actress and mom who starred on Rosanne 52. Bechdel ________, popularized by the comic strip Dykes to Watch Out For 53. Collection of goods/works on display 54. Non profit tech. center that promotes economic growth and better quality livin 55. Feminist Theory Web_____, check it out 56. “______, a needle pulling thread” 57. Wed.’s day before yesterday’s tomorrow 59. HIV or Hep B, for example 60. ______ in Feminism by Alice A. Jardine

poetry Fluid Culture, Liquid Rhymes Fluid culture liquid rhymes, flow like no other, committing crimes.

Against humanity I think not, more like against those who believe they got their spot.

Light shine bright on me because I c no way outta this one.

My best friend nd soulmate just became someone elses husband.

Fluid culture, liquid rhymes.

Shame on me u fooled me twice, I pay the price of ur lies right to my eyes.

U c, back in the day I was really something.

U shoulda seen me then, Â I wouldve ran u over, backed on up nd done it again.

No fear just determination, to get past shit like all ur hatin.

Droppin verses nd spittin lines, my life my love, my lonely times.

Fluid as the blood in my veins, ever flowing, untouchable like acid rain.

Fluid culture, liquid rhymes, damn i hate it when u act surprised.

Y? a pretty face aint allowed to school u, drop verses that outshine u, flow passion from my soul straight on out nd grab hold of u?

Save ur amazment, it only makes me more impatient.

To describe my fluidity nd prosperity of a musical affinity.

Because all u ever say is bitches nd hoes...bitches nd hoes, u talk a lot of shit boy but do u really knoe about the womens suffrage movement or our struggle against oppression? how bout the fact that when we work twice as hard, we earn STILL .75 cents per dollar u dont even earn.

Look it up. well shit u a balla, shot calla, rollin high u got game bad ass playa

dont they fuckin love ur name.

Cuz yea u can rap but u aint nothin i aint heard before.

U just like all them other wangstas before u.

So y dont u rhyme abt the jena 6 or Katrina victims Stop.

Why don’t you rhyme about the Jena 6 or Hatian victims? instead of tryna rap about hustlin nd fuckin bitches.

I get so tired of u tryna get w/ me, tryna take care of me, love me loyally.... fuck u! who the hell do u think u r?

A women cant be an independant star?

I can take care of my god damn self thank u, so get to gettin back to ur material wealth u front too.

Fluid culture, liquid rhymes, excuse my lines for being unkind, i dont mean to come off as a bitch, but u should probably recognize us ladies r kinda pissed.

Its time u see we got much to be, we got dreams nd goals, much more then outer beauty.

So while ur standin there feedin us lines like its ur beauty not ur booty, u should probably be prepared when we say ur game aint flowin, u come off thirsty.

Nd pretty soon ur verses will sound just the same, as back in the day, just the same as the next new thing.

In rap.

Fluid culture, liquid rhymes, shame on me u fooled me twice.

Here i thought u were really something.

But thanks for showing me i can survive this heartbreak, it aint nothing.

Fluid culture liquid rhymes, fluent spokesperson here to redefine U.

--Andrea Valderrama

use your words. send your creative writing to sirenwc at gmail dot com

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21

real talk

liplocking for rubberneckers Women who perform to titillate onlookers effectively confuse those who are genuinely interested. words by naduah wheeler

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usic thumps. Bodies move in a clumsy, semi-drunken unison.

Heartbeats begin to match the thump of the music and sweat from multiple bodies humidifies the air. As the temperature in the room heats up, emotions follow suit. In the midst of the passion of the party atmosphere, among dozens of people, our eyes connect.

It is in this all too familiar setting that various hookups occur. A problem occurs though, when women use social gatherings to attract male attention through making out and/or hooking up with other women. However, once the party is over, these same women reject queer identity. They are back to being heterosexual.

While they are at school they are straight, but when cheered by a crowd of men, they are suddenly attracted to women.

These women are so out of touch with their own desire that they think making men happy is first priority. If performing in this way makes men happy, that’s what they do. These women allow their sexuality to be used as a spectacle for male enjoyment. In the process, they also mislead pansexual or bisexual people who may be legitimately attracted to them.

Though disheartening, this isn’t particularly shocking.

This tends to happen as a pansexual female. People either

“

completely reject my orientation as nonexistent or are far too enthusiastic about it. They assume I want to sleep with everyone. They assume I am sexually promiscuous. They tell me to make a choice between genders. Bisexuality and pansexuality come burdened with these stereotypes and expectations.

To be clear, bisexuality is interest in both men and women and defines two genders.

Pansexuality does not limit attraction to strict male/female gender categories, and embraces a broader definition of gender.

Despite this small difference, people of each orientation face similar prejudices.

When you are interested in both men and women however, someone’s legitimate interest in you comes into question, which can be emotionally hurtful.

Using someone to make another person jealous is immoral.

Using someone you know is bisexual or pansexual to gain attention is both immoral and hurtful to the person being used.

Coming out can already be a nerve-wracking and dangerous experience. Fear of rejection, homophobia, discrimination, or other negative reactions permeates the coming out experience. However, pansexuality and bisexuality also carry the additional fear of overly positive reactions.

Coming out as pansexual or

bisexual tends to elicit cheers of joy from most heterosexual, cisgendered men. Nearly all of their initial reactions are, “That’s so hot!”

Cisgendered men seem to enjoy women either kissing, having sex, or participating in other forms of sexual contact; however, when presented with the idea of women marrying, many are opposed. It amazes me that people who support my physical interactions with people for their own amusement will then attempt to block me from marrying whomever I care about. If it is okay with someone for me to make out with a girl, it should be just as okay for me to marry her. So, thank you for continuing the misogynistic stereotype of your gender, but my sexuality is not for you. Nor is it all of who I am. Who I am attracted to is not for your pleasure.

Though cheering is an overly enthusiastic response, it is preferential to the complete dismissal that can happen with bisexuality or pansexuality, even among supporters of the queer community. I have heard everything from “You need to make a choice like the rest of us,” to “Pansexuality doesn’t actually exist, it’s just a pompous way of saying bisexual,” all the way to, “Well, that just means you don’t care who you sleep with.” None of these are true.

Neither bisexuality nor

pansexuality is about choice. My sexual orientation is not about choice. I can no more choose to not like all genders than heterosexual people can choose to be attracted to people of the same sex or homosexual people can choose to not be attracted to those of their own gender.

None of these are choices or lack of choices. They just are.

Telling me to make a choice between genders is similar to telling people who like both cats and dogs that they’re wrong and need to make a choice. It’s just silly. In addition, I don’t want to sleep with everyone. I am not attracted to every person I see.

I’m one of the pickiest people I know. My sexual orientation has absolutely nothing to do with my sex drive, despite the common misconception of bisexual and pansexual people as “horn-dogs.” I am not pansexual so I get to have sex with everyone. I am pansexual because I am.

Accepting all genders does not mean I do not care who I sleep with. It does not mean I am a nymphomaniac. It doesn’t mean that I am incapable of monogamy. It does not mean I haven’t made up my mind. It doesn’t mean I’m in transition from heterosexual to homosexual. All it means is that I have the capacity to love and be attracted to anyone regardless of their sex organs or their gender expression.

The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects. The sooner we learn this concerning human sexual behavior, the sooner we shall reach a sound understanding of the realities of sex.

--Alfred Kinsey (1948)

22 the siren

“

I have met brave women who are exploring the outer edge of human possibility, with no history to guide them, and with a courage to make themselves vulnerable that I find moving beyond words.

--Gloria Steinem