Sista’s Keeper
I AM my Sista’s Keeper
May 2013
Vol. 1, Issue 5
Naya
Coard
Miss Black USA Talented Teen 2012
Self-Esteem: The Beauty In YOU 7 Habits Series: • Seek First To Understand... Then To Be Understood
Mother’s Day Feature: Like Mother, Like Daughter
Spotlight: Teen Queen/Author Tori Turner Plus: Mental Health Awareness Month Self-Esteem Issue
In This Issue 40
7 Habits Series:
• Seek First to Understand...Then To Be Understood
Summer Fashion 18
9
Spotlight:
Teen Queen/Author Tori Turner
Mother’s Day Feature: Like Mother, Like Daughter
Readers submit pictures and tell why they love their mother
24
Self-Esteem: The Beauty In You Here are some simple things you can do to feel better about yourself and see your TRUE beauty
36
On the Cover: Photo: Miss Black USA
32
North Carolina Reigns Again
(Left) Coard poses with former Miss Black USA Talented Teen Jasmine Sessoms after winning the crown. May 2013
Sista’s Keeper
3
Promotions and Giveaways “Like” us on Facebook & follow us on Twitter for more info! You could win a copy of Tori Turner’s book, When I Decided To D.R.E.A.M. BIG!!!!! Enter to win a copy of Tori Turner’s book, When I Decided To D.R.E.A.M. BIG, by answering the following question (the answer is in this issue): What does the acronym D.R.E.A.M. mean? “Like” our Facebook page or tweet us (@ SistasKeeperMag) the answer to enter the giveaway. You could win a copy of Coco Jones’ debut EP, Made Of!!!!! Win a copy of Coco Jones’ debut EP, Made Of, by answering the following question (the answer is in the March issue): What is Coco Jones real first name? “Like” our Facebook page or tweet the answer to @SistasKeeperMag.
Connect With Sista’s Keeper TODAY! “Like” our Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/SistasKeeperMagazine
Follow us on Twitter: @SistasKeeperMag https://twitter.com/SistasKeeperMag
If you are on Pinterest, follow our page: http://pinterest.com/sistaskeepermag/ Follow us on Instagram: @SistasKeeperMag for photos, inspirational quotes, and MORE!!!!! Follow us on Tumblr: http://sistaskeepermag.tumblr.com/
4
Sista’s Keeper
May 2013
Sista’s Keeper Vol. 1, Issue 4 LaPorsha Lowry Founding Editor/Publisher Taris Easterling Contributing Writer Shaniqua Graves Contributing Writer Yani Long Contributing Writer Noma Vilane Contributing Writer Jonathan Erik Veal Online Intern Special Thanks Naya Coard Miss Black USA Talented Teen Pageant Tori Turner Kim Carter Evans Delphine Publications Andrieka J. Austin Journey Girl, LLC Dr. Leeya F. Pinder, MD Jhonna Partin Evan Summerville Patricia Atlman Breast Cancer Research Foundation Lala Anthony Motives for Lala Period Packs Inc. Daniel Lee Lowry Dottie Benjamin Terri Long Darie Wlson Antionette Cody Kayla J. Carr
I AM my Sista’s Keeper
In Every Issue Promotions & Giveaways
4
10
Beauty Controlling Sweat During the Summer
13
Beauty Summer Hair: Braids
Entertainment Beyonce’s Mrs. Carter 16 World Tour
Furaha 25 Fun Things to Do This Summer
Jando 27 Summer Self-Esteem Tips
17 Review of Coco Jones’ EP, Made Of Entertainment
Health Black Girls and Depression
22
Health May Is Mental Health 23 Awareness Month
26
Maua Baby Steps 29
28
Ndege Summer Job/Saving Money This Summer
Black Women In History Marian Anderson 46 May 2013
Sista’s Keeper
5
March/
Calendar
June
2013 What’s going on & what to do this month
June DIVA Empowerment 29 Summit For rising 9th grade girls ???????? 11am-4:30pm
June “A Date With Dad” 15 Father’s Day Dinner Roosevelt Gardens Park Community Center 6-8:30pm www.godsgiftinc.org
For more May & June events & updates, visit our website:
www.sistaskeepermagazine.com
Contributors
Taris Easterling
Shaniqua Graves
Yani Long
Noma Vilane
Beyonce (pg. 23), 50 Fun Things (pg. 26), Summer Job (pg. 29)
Black Girls and Depression (pg. 22)
Volunteering (pg. 27); Accepted (pg. 39)
Spring Cleaning (pg. 25), College Road Trip (pg. 29)
Easterling is currently a freshman at North Carolina Central University. She’s an avid reader and writer so you will usually fi nd her doing one or the other. She’s the lead host on her very own personal radio show, Unscripted Radio.
Graves is a North Carolina native living in Greensboro. Aside from journalism, the UNC-Greensboro alumna also writes poetry and short stories. The aspiring writer continues to seek projects that express her unique point of view through writing.
Long began writing at the age of 11 with journals that turned into poetry. She attended Guilford Technical Community College and then transferred to NC A&T in 2010. She enjoys making jewelry, spending time with family, watching TV and playing cards.
Vilane is a senior journalism major at North Carolina A&T State University. Her hobbies include reading, writing fi ction, and spending time with friends and family.
@WhoIsYaniLong
@SomebodysNoma
@TarisUnscripted
Online Intern
6
Jonathan Erik Veal is a senior print journalism major at North Carolina A&T State University. A Charlotte native, Veal is the editor-in-chief of the A&T Register, the student newspaper on A&T’s campus. Editor’s Note: Veal will be graduating from A&T on May 11, 2013...CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Sista’s Keeper
May 2013
Editor’s
Self-Esteem, Mental Health, and Mother’s Day
Letter
HI want you to learn from reading this
ey sistas! One of the biggest things that
magazine is to have self-esteem, so I made this issue specifically about that. Having self-esteem is not about being conceited or thinking that you are better than someone else. It means having a confidence and satisfaction in yourself. When you have self-esteem, you know that you are just fine the way that you are. That’s the theme of this issue: to use the tips that you read on pg. 36-39 to improve how you feel about yourself and to build a confidence in yourself. In this issue, we feature some sistas who show us that it is okay to go after our dreams and branch out on our own. Naya Coard (pg. 32) won the Miss Black USA Talented Teen pageant last year and she used her reign to reach out to youth about her plaform of leadership and let them know that their voices matter. Tori Turner (pg. 9) was in the same pageant with Naya, and although she didn’t win, she didn’t let it stop her from pursuing her dreams. She wrote a book and started a foundation to help others acheive their dreams too. May is Mental Health Awareness Month and young girls in our community are at risk for or may be suffering from depression but are not diagnosed because it’s not seen as a “black thing” (pg. 22). Mother’s Day is also in May, and we wanted to feature our readers and their mothers (pg. 24). Whether you are close to your mother or you have to love her from a distance, you have to acknowledge everything that she does for you on her special day. If you want to contact me or have any questions about the magazine, email me at: sistaskeepermag@yahoo.com or visit our website: www.sistaskeepermagazine.com
Tell us what you think! Join the conversation... #SistasKeeper
My mother, Gloria and I at my SU graduation in 2011. Remember the purpose of Sista’s Keeper: to build you up as young women so you can be comfortable enough in yourself to help your sisters, cousins, friends, etc. I hope that you enjoy this issue and remember:
“I AM my Sista’s Keeper”
Founding Editor/Publisher @SistasKeeperMag
May 2013
Sista’s Keeper
7
Subscribe to Sista’s Keeper!!!! 6 issues per year for only $12!!!!!!
Receive a “I AM my Sista’s Keeper” wristband with your subscription!!!!!
Go to the Subscribe page of our website: www.sistaskeepermagazine.com
Spotlight
BIG D.R.E.A.M.er
Teen queen and author Tori Turner will be traveling around the country this summer promoting her book, “When I Decided to D.R.E.A.M. BIG” and her message of following your dreams. How was your experience in the Miss Black USA Talented Teen pageant? It was really good! I learned a lot about sisterhood and made lots of lifelong friends. I saw what it’s like to be Miss Black USA, to perform community service, and talked to lots of little girls. What was your platform in the pageant? My platform was calling teens to action in their community, being active and helping others. What type of community service did you do during your reign as Miss Black Louisiana Talented Teen? I participated in feeding the homeless, which was fun. I also did a toilet drive, spoke at conferences and churches about my platform. I spoke about anti-bullying and I tried to make it personal so I could speak more about it. Tell us about your D.R.E.A.M. BIG Foundation: I started in 11 when I realized that I could start my career. I couldn’t go to acting conferences because of financial reasons but I wanted to help aspiring actors and performers to get to their dreams and offset costs. What inspired you to write the book? I do a lot of motivational speaking about dreams and goals. I taught this but I didn’t want it to just be spoken. I wanted to write it and put it out there forever.
What do the letters in D.R.E.A.M. mean? It means “Divinely Revealed Enterprises through Anointing to Manifestation”. Did your personal journey help you with writing the book? I wrote about what I know and what I went through. Someone might be going through the same thing so I wanted to make it relatable to others. Do you have any sisters? How is your relationship with her/them? My little sister, Alexia, is 9 years old and looks up to me and follows in my footsteps. I have to show her positive things and show her how to get through things when she gets to my age. Do you have any close girl friends? How is your relationship with them? Yes, one of them lives in Atlanta and the other lives in Donaldsonville, LA. We talk about stuff outside of business & pageant. I can be myself and be open with them. What is your definition of being your “sista’s keeper”? To me, it is sharing your world with them; pass down positive things; never-ending bond that no one can break; know you better than anyone and talk about anything; responsible for each other What’s next for you? I’m working on my next book soon about sister queens. Also, I’m going on a book tour at end of April through the summer and will be at the Essence festival.
2012 Miss Black Louisiana USA Talented Teen - Tori Turner
May 2013
@TORI_TURNER
Sista’s Keeper
9
Braids
Beauty
Braids are IN for summer 2013 and many celebrities By: Noma Vilane
Brandy’s Ahead of “The Game”
As the summer approaches, you may be looking for a cool hairstyle. Braids are fun and cute and can be easy on maintenance. There are many different types of braids, which can add to any look. You can even add a color (without having to dye your actual hair). Whether you are on the beach or having a night with your friends, you can find braid styles that will work with you. They can even be worn as a protective style to help your hair grow. Here are some of our favorite and the most popular styles with a little bit of info on them:
Micros This versatile hairstyle is a favorite because it can be worn straight down your back or be put up in a style like sweeping updo’. The tiny individual- styled braids can also be used as a tools to grow your hair out safely. It is a protective style that will allow you hair to grow, as long as you take care of the hairstyle. Many will tell you to wait a couple of weeks before washing and conditioning your hair. You can normally start oiling your scalp immediately. Don’t forget to tie your hair up at night. 10
Sista’s Keeper
May 2013
Summer 2013
Beauty
have brought back their signature braided styles.
Beyonce’s Braided Crown Cornrows Most people have had cornrows in their life. These braids are close to the scalp and can be made with some cool designs or kept simple by just going straight back. You can also use different colors to make them interesting. Cornrows have fairly simple maintenance and requires that you wash them and oil your scalp regularly.
Janet: The Original
Box Braids While thought of as an old school style, these braids made popular in the ‘90s by such stars as Janet Jackson and Brandy have made a comeback. Now, you can see people like Beyonce and Solange Knowles wearing the braids. Box braids are three-strand braids that are bigger than micros and tend to be a bit longer. The maintenance is the same as you would with your own hair, regularly washing and conditioning the braids. Make sure to be gentle when you wash them and use light oil to prevent dry and itchy scalp. May 2013
Sista’s Keeper
11
What’s On the Website?
• Event & entertainment stories • Interviews • Pictures • Videos • Extra content only available ONLINE • MORE!!!!! Visit our website: www.sistaskeepermagazine.com
Kinky Twists They are a style similar to micros except, like the name suggests are actually twisted, using two strand of hair as opposed to three. The ends are usually curled to keep the twists in place. The maintenance for kinky twists is also similar to micros. Make sure to ask you hairstylist fi rst when you should wash and condition your hair, something you should do about every other week. You should also wrap your hair at night and oil it regularly.
Senegalese Twists Just like the name suggests, these braids originate in Senegal, Africa. They are a protective twist style that has skyrocketed in popularity. There are plenty of ways to style them as they are very versatile. You can where them out, put them in a low or a high bun, or any other style that you can imagine.
1
2
With the twists, you are still able to wash and condition your hair. It is also important to oil it regularly to prevent your scalp from drying out. You can also use either a satin scarf or bonnet to tie your hair at night.
Beauty
More Tips For any of the styles listed, it is very important that you take care of them. Before getting your hair styled, you should wash and condition your hair and try to get the ends trimmed to prevent split ends and to promote healthy growth while wearing the style. After getting the braids, you should follow any instructions given to you by the hairstylist. Make sure to heed their advice. You should also use sheen spray or hair oil to moisturize your scalp and to prevent your braids/hair from feeling dry and brittle.
The Best Deodorants for Summer 1: Dove Clinical Protection Anti-Perspirant (Rebalance)-This deodorant provides protection against wetness. 2: Secret Original- This tried and true deordorant is Ph-balanced with odor and wetness protection. 3: Degree Sheer Powder- This deodorant has 24-hour dry protection with scents of freesia, jasmine and creamy vanilla. 4: Suave 24-hour Protection Powder Invisible Solid Anti-Perspirant- This deodorant provides effective odor and wetness protection without a messy residue.
3
May 2013
4
Sista’s Keeper
13
Beauty
Don’t SWEAT It!!!!! As the summer approaches and the weather gets warmer, we spend more time in the sun, which can cause sweating. Sweat is a natural way that our bodies regulates our internal temperature and cools itself, but sweat is far from attractive.
Sweating excessively is a common problem. But you don’t have to suffer or be embarrassed. There are ways that you can reduce and control sweating. Here are a few ways you can stop the extra sweat: Facial Scrubs Facial scrubs can be used on your back or on your face or on any area of your skin where you sweat. Facial scrubs help because they are an exfoliate that gets rid of the dead skin and unclog your pores. This will initially cause you to sweat more, but soon you will notice a decrease in the excess sweat.
Use An Antiperspirant Most people don't realize that all deodorants are not antiperspirants. Deodorant is made to mask the odor caused from sweating while antiperspirant actually controls and reduces the amount of sweat. Make sure to check the label closely to see if the product you are using is in fact an antiperspirant. Doctors also advise putting a thin layer of antiperspirant on at night before going to bed and adding another thin layer in the morning for best results. Shave Your Underarms Everyone with underarm hair doesn't experience excess sweating, but for people who do sweat easily, underarm hair can make the situation worse. Hair causes bacteria growth and bacteria is what causes the odor. Watch What You Eat (And Drink) Certain foods, such as caffeine can worsen sweating and should be avoided. Spicy foods can also lead to excess sweating and should be reduced or avoided. On the flip side, you should try to increase your water intake. Water can help rehydrate your body and it can also wash away the toxins that can clog pores and cause body odor. Practice Good Hygiene Make sure to take daily baths or showers and to wash your underarms. If you shave, avoid putting on deodorant (or antiperspirant) immediately. Wait until your underarm is completely dry. Moisture can help harbor bacteria growth on your deodorant so it's important to dry your underarms before applying.
14
Sista’s Keeper
May 2013
By: Noma Vilane
Cosmetics
Clothes Shoes Accessories
E S I T ! R ! ! E ! ! V E D A ER H
Music
Movies
Hair
Food/Drink & MORE!!!!! To advertise, contact us: sistaskeepermag@yahoo.com
Entertainment
By: Taris Easterling
Beyonce’ Back On Tour
Music
“Queen Bey” is back on tour and of course will put on a great show when she visits cities across the United States and the world this summer.
Who runs the world? Girls! You hear that song and immediately perform every move you see in that Billboard Award-winning song performed by the incomparable, Grammywinning artist, Beyonce’. The moment that we’ve all been waiting for has finally arrived, Beyonce is jet-setting again for her 2013 tour. The Mrs. Carter Show World Tour is the fourth concert tour by Beyonce’. It was announced in February 2013 following her performance at the Super Bowl halftime show with
16
Sista’s Keeper
initial dates for Europe and North America revealed. Several posters and photos were further released by Beyonce’ on her official website to promote the tour. The tour’s title is a reference to her marriage with Jay-Z. The Mrs.Carter tour is expected to bring a lot of revenue to her and her camp. Critics are holding this tour on a high pedestal so let’s pray that she delivers greatness as always! For more info on the North America dates, visit: www.beyonce.com
May 2013
Music OMG Girlz“Baddie” Janelle Monáe“Q.U.E.E.N.” feat. Erykah Badu
Coco Jones Shows What She’s Music ‘Made Of’ The Disney Channel star makes a great fi rst impression in debut EP. By: LaPorsha Lowry Disney Channel star and March cover girl Coco Jones released her debut EP, Made Of, last month and the four-song album was a solid performance to show how talented she really is. An extended play (EP) is an album that has more songs than the artist’s single but less than a full studio album or LP (long play.) The first song on the EP is Jones’ first single, “Holla At The DJ” which is about wanting the DJ to play your favorite song so you can dance and have fun. “World Is Dancing” is another dance track that is the perfect song to play and dance with your friends. “Deja Vu” is the third song on the EP and really showcases Jones’ singing talent. It tells the story about a guy that she likes and that he is the guy she dreamed of. The last song on the EP is the title track,
Entertainment
A
“Made Of”. This is a girl-power anthem where Jones encourages girls to have fun and not worry about what anyone thinks. “Just lose yourself and let it go...show me what you’re made of.” Pick up “Made Of” which is exclusively at Walmart for only $5.
Check out Jaden Smith in “After Earth
Movies
This summer will be full of blackbusters at the movie boxoffi ce and a much-anticpated fi lm coming out is After Earth, starring Jaden Smith as Kitai Raige. 1,000 years after humans left Earth and moved to the planet Nova Prime, General Cypher Raige (Will Smith) and his son, recruit Kitai crash land on Earth. They are forced to fi ght the elements and animals to signal help. The movie hits theaters May 31st. May 2013
Sista’s Keeper
17
Fashion
Summer 2013 Here are some outfit ideas that you can play -> Emerald is still the hot color of the season and you can wear the color boldy with dresses, shirts or add small accents with your accessories.
Color of the Season: Emerald
Stripes
18
Sista’s Keeper
<Horizontal stripes can slim you down a little bit and are bold enough to be fashionable without going overboard. Try them on shirts or dresses and add a cardigan or a great pair of jeans. May 2013
Fashion Trends
Fashion
around with based on the hottest trends for summer 2013. -> Florals are a trend that can easily be carried over from spring to summer. Just pair a floral print dress with a solidcolor caridgan, jean or leggins and you can pull it off again.
Floral Prints
Bright Colors <Bright colors are perfect for summer because you can switch it up a lot and have more options. Shorts, jeans, skirts, tennis shoes, sandals and heels are all interchangeable.
May 2013
Sistaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Keeper
19
Fashion
Black and White <Black and white is a good trend because it looks good on just about anyone. Step out in a bold B&W pattern on your pants or jeans and bring each color in through accessories.
20
Sistaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Keeper
May 2013
<Everyone looks great in a beautiful bright color. Try this trend with a pair of tennis shoes and match your accessories to bring the outfit together.
Fashion
Bright Colors
May 2013
Sistaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Keeper
21
Health
Black Girls and Depression: Breaking The Cycle
By: Shaniqua Graves
The number of black teenage girls dealing with depression is increasing, but for some reason, they are not getting the help that they need for it.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and while this has been observed for over 60 years in the United States, the issue of mental health (or the lack thereof) is still quite taboo, particularly among the African-American community. Why is that? Well, aside from the fact that no one wants to be labeled as “crazy”, most members of the Black community have a strong concern about protecting their privacy in these matters. Combine this with a longstanding distrust for the traditional medical system and we end up with the mindset of “never airing our dirty laundry”. While this philosophy has its
22
Sista’s Keeper
strengths, it can be tragic when applied to the subject of mental health. While our grandmothers and aunties might have us believe that illnesses like bipolar disorder or depression are nothing for us to worry about, the truth is that young black girls are at-risk for mental health issues just as any other race of teens. In fact, according to an article published by the National Institute of Mental Health, Black teens (especially girls) are at high risk for suicide attempts. Although it is true that historically Black youths have a lower suicide rate than Whites, it is also true that in more recent years the suicide rate among
May 2013
Black youth has showed a severe increase. Though suicide is obviously the largest concern, there is also a risk among teen girls for other destructive behavior such as NonSuicidal Self-Injury (NSSI) or, as you may know it, cutting. In a Yale University study, it was reported that 56% of 10- to 14-year-old girls interviewed had engaged in some sort of NSSI. These numbers alone are cause for concern and, more importantly, action. While you may not have a PhD in psychology (yet) there are still some great things you can do to help: Be Aware You can’t make a difference if you don’t know what’s going on. With a little effort (maybe reading a magazine article or two) you can make yourself and eventually others conscious of the very real issue of mental illness in our community. Beyond knowing that it does exist, you should also be informed about the symptoms associated with mental illness. Because depression is one of the most common mental illnesses in teens, it will probably be easiest to identify. Symptoms to look for include Continued on pg. 45
By:Yani Long
May is Mental Health Awareness Month
Health
The number of black teenage girls dealing with depression is increasing, but for some reason, they are not getting the help that they need for it. May has been observed as National Mental Health Awareness Month since 1949. It is a time where advocates and activists bring awareness to those across the nation about the families whose adolescents that suffer from the effects of mental health disorders. According to the U.S Department of Health and Human Services, about one out of every five adolescents suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder and one out
of every four show some mild symptoms of depression. Common mental health disorders include: Anxiety Disorders, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), Bipolar Disorder, Eating Disorders and Schizophrenia. While symptoms may not be completely obvious some of the signs of mental illness include social withdrawal, irritability, anger, and change in diet or sleep. If not diagnosed or
treated some mental health disorders can cause harm to relationships, affect school performance, and lead to suicide which the third leading cause of death among adolescents. So many suffer from mental health disorders and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an issue that a lot of families affected by it deal with, especially when it results in suicide. Suicide also occurs with soldiers who have witnessed the death or has lost a soldier in combat. Post-traumatic stress, untreated, can lead to suicide among other things. It is important to pay attention to the signs and to see a doctor as soon as possible. If you know anyone that suffers from any of the symptoms listed it would be wise to bring it make a parent or teacher aware of them.
For more information please visit www.hhs.gov. The list of disorders is explained in greater detail what the disorders entail, how to point out the symptoms, and how to locate places for diagnosis and treatments. May 2013
Sistaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Keeper
23
Relationships
Like Mother,
Mother’s Day is in May and our sistas told us how
“I love my mom so much. I don’t know what I
would do without her. She’s my life , my hope , and my bestfriend. My mom put a roof over my head. My mom helps me with my homework and cooks dinner for me and my sister. I appreciate my mom a lot cause without her I wouldn’t have a life and someone to love me as much as my mom love me and how much I love her.” Jhonna Partin, 13 Charlotte, NC “My mother is my biggest supporter. She’s very independent, hard working, and willing to do just about whatever it takes to make sure her kids are on the path of having a successful life ahead of them. I love my mom so much because if it weren’t for her I obviously wouldn’t be here but also because she’s part of the reason on how I’ve gotten as far as I am in my career at only 14 years old. I’m very fortunate to have a mother that is so willing to help me further my career as well as hers, but also to make sure I stay grounded and spiritually grounded. I love my mother more than she thinks even though I have a weird way of showing it or I may not show it just because maybe its my age and the stage of life that I’m in or maybe its just the type of person I am, who knows.” Tori Turner, 14 New Orleans, LA
“Yes, mother. I can see you are flawed. You have not hidden it.That is your greatest
gift to me.”
24
Sista’s Keeper
May 2013
-Alice Walker
Like Daughter
Relationships
much they love the number-one woman in their life.
5-Steps to a Better Mother-Daughter Relationship By: Andrieka J. Austin These 5 steps are guaranteed to change the way you and your mom (or the female role model in your life) connect with each other. Take this quick quiz and ask yourself a few simple questions to see how you can make things better with mom: • Do you feel like you’re losing your connection with your mom? • Do you find it difficult to communicate (even the smallest things) with your mom? • Is it sometimes difficult for you to understand your mom’s point-of-view on things? • Do you think it would be awesome to have a third-party’s opinion (from a professional) to help “break things down” when discussing sensitive issues with your mom? • How cool would it be to finally bring a sense of peace and settlement to your mother-daughter relationship challenges?
you introduce new ways to create a genuine, posit ve bonding relationship your mom that works: 1) Communication Moms want their daughters to be able to open up to them more (and daughters want the same thing in return). Moms and daughters have the need to talk more about what’s going on in their individual lives. This starts with active listening. 2) Understanding Moms want to get a small sense of understanding what their daughter is going through. This means processing what’s being said, and seeing it from the other person’s perspective.
3) Mediation Sometimes, certain mother-daughter discussions require an outside person (like a professional) to help mediate differences. Moms and daughters alike enjoy having a neutral, unbiased third party to help them through it all. Having someone there to facilitate the If you answered “yes” to even one of these questions, discussion means hearing the problem/obstacle atyou’re in luck! If you know what you want to do, but it’s hand, and bringing that challenge to the surface to just not happening, working, or getting the job done ultimately find solutions. for you, no worries. Learning the following 5 skills and techniques are important to help better understand, 4) Translation communicate, translate, mediate, and mend and bring Mothers and daughters desire a full translation peace to the “situations” between you and your mom of the meaning of it all. Many times this requires a both now and in the future, thus impacting future deeper understanding of communication issues and daughters for generations to come. challenges from a mother’s perspective, and from The following are five simple steps that can help a daughter’s perspective to help it all make sense. Sometimes it takes the mom admitting that she doesn’t Andrieka J. Austin is the founder and facilitator know it all, and daughters admitting that they actually of Journey Girl, LLC where she shares success tactics do need the help and advice of a mom. Try to consider of building stronger mother-daughter relationships each other’s view on things and help it make sense to through workshops and events for girls and moms. Continued on pg. 45 Visit www.JourneyGirl.org May 2013
Sista’s Keeper
25
Furaha “Joy”
By: Taris Easterling
25 Fun Things To Do This Summer
It’s almost Summer and if you are like me, you need to find things to do. Well I am here to give you a jumpstart to your summer. Below, I have complied a list of summer ideas from around and have put together some things for you to entertain yourself with and enjoy your break! 1. Gather up a few friends, and have a picnic in your backyard or at a park. 2. Go on a walk and take pictures and become Instagram famous. 3. Buy some fashion magazines, pick out a couple of really cute outfits, and try to recreate them for less 4. Bead some bracelets and sell them for charity. 5. Volunteer at the local YMCA or different summer camps 6. Clean your room! LOL. (but no...really!) 7. Bake (or buy) some cupcakes and deliver them to friends and family. 8. Play some childhood games like “Sorry”, “Candyland”, or “Pretty Pretty Princess”. A walk back in your childhood is always fun. 9. Take your dog for a walk. 10. Look through old family scrapbooks, photo books, and yearbooks.
11. Make a root beer float. 12. Go to the movies with your siblings or friends. 13. Go window-shopping with a friend. 14. Write a poem 15. Make dinner for your family. 16. Baby-sit for a neighbor. 17. Have a sleepover party and watch scary movies. 18. Plan a vacation to spontaneously do. 19. Plan a vacation you want to take next summer. 20. Plant flowers in your yard. 21. Sign up for a class (dance, art, Spanish,etc.) 22. Have a bubble bath. 23. Make a mix CD of your favorite songs and title it “The soundtrack of my summer”. 24. Order a pizza, invite some friends and “turn up!” 25. Throw a house party! (DISCLAIMER: Ask your parents first!) EXTRAS!!!!!!
26
Sista’s Keeper
May 2013
26. Splash around in a plastic kiddy pool (just for fun LOL) 27. Buy some crayons and a coloring book (Throwback!!!!!) 28. Read a book based on a movie you have seen. 29. Go job hunting (see page 29).
Summer Self-Esteem Checklist
Jando
“Initiation”
By:Yani Long
Spring break is approaching and it’s about that time to begin thinking about your plans during your time away from school.
Have a Weekly Girls Night Start a Fun Workout Try something like Zumba that is fun, will help you drop a couple pounds and also have fun while doing it.
Have your friends over for movie night, game night, cooking, or just hanging out. Spending time with friends will make your relationships stronger.
Buy A New Swimsuit If you have lost a couple pounds, finding a new bathing suit can be a real confidence booster. If you haven’t, finding a flattering bathing suit can make all the difference for you as well.
Try a New Lip Gloss Don’t just stick to the same ol’ thing this summer...Switch it up by finding a new lip color to have more options this summer.
May 2013
Sista’s Keeper
27
Maua
“Blossom”
Baby Steps
Baby steps are small steps towards a goal. You want to accomplish something but it can’t happen overnight...you have to WORK for it! Think of these tips as “baby steps” to go along with the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens feature. Go to pg. 40 and read it fi rst, then come back to this page. Use this worksheet in your daily life.
Habit 5: Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood 1. See how long you can keep eye contact with someone while they are talking to you.
2. In your interaction today, try mirroring one person and mimicking another, just for fun. See the difference and compare the results and reactions. 3. Ask yourself, “Which of the five poor listening styles do I have the biggest problem with- Spacing out, Pretend Listening, Selective Listening, Word Listening, or Self-Centered Listening (judging, advising, probing)? Now, try to go one day without doing it. The poor listening style I struggle with most:____________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
4. If you are a talker, take a break and spend your day listening. Only talk when you have to.
5. The next time you find yourself wanting to bury your feelings deep inside you, don’t do it. Instead, express them in a responsible way. 6. Think of a situation where your constructive feedback would really help another person. Share it with them when the time is right.
28
Sista’s Keeper
May 2013
Saving Money/ Getting A Summer Job It’s the summer and instead of taking a whole bunch of vacations and hanging out, you have chosen the option to grind and get to the money. Here are some tips for you to get a job and what you need to save money for.
Ndege
“Flight”
By: Taris Easterling
Examples of Jobs First thing you need to do is make a 1. Amusement park list of jobs you would like to get. Some 2. McDonalds and other fast food people have rules about not doing fast restaurants food and some have rules about not 3. The mall doing retail. 4. Target, Wal-Mart, or other retail stores Before you do ANY applications, make 5. Grocery stores a sure list of the one you would like to 6. YMCA and other summer camps. apply for. 7. Internships with different companies in Now that you have nabbed the job, your field of choice. what kind of things you could save for? As a college student, I know that I have to have a list of necessities: a car is a first. Many car places have low prices where our economy is changing so prices will it will not hit you in the pocket, however be elevated. A summer trip also might be in order. Put some money to the side, call up some friends, and make a getaway to the beach. Last but certainly not least, school. School is NOT CHEAP. Whether you are a college student or even a high school student, education is pricey nowadays. Put money to the side for books, prom, college courses, senior dues, and dorm room things. I’ve given you a list now it is up to you to make the effort to get this money! Good luck in everything and God’s speed!
May 2013
Sista’s Keeper
29
http://www.motivescosmetics.com/lala
36
Sistaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Keeper
May 2013
North Carolina Reigns Again
Miss Black USA Talented Teen 2012 Naya Coard has a busy summer ahead of her. She will be graduating from high school, passing on her crown to the next winner, and beginning her freshman year of college.
W
hen Naya Coard won the Miss Black USA Talented Teen pageant last year, she became the second winner in a row from the state of North Carolina. Jasmine Sessoms (who was on the cover of our May 2012 preview issue) was the winner last year and Coard says that she still keeps in touch with her predecessor. “We talk and catch up sometimes just to check in and see how each other is doing. I also keep in touch with Raven Green, who is also a previous winner,” Coard says. May 2013
Sista’s Keeper
37
Teen Queen Naya Coard is the reigning Miss Black USA Talented Teen 2011, a scholarship and community service pageant that began in 1986, and she will pass on the crown when her reign ends in August. Coard was born in Harlem, NY and moved to North Carolina at age 7. She will be attending Spelman College in Atlanta, GA this fall. She made the decision after she visited the campus in November. “I went to the campus for the Spell-Bound program on April 21st & 22nd,” Coard says.
“It was a weekend thing where we got to sit in on classes. We had a student host for the weekend so we got a feel for the campus,” she says. Her Career Interests
Coard plans to double major in international studies and political science. She says that she wants to become an entertainment attorney.
“I would focus on music but I want to go international. I would love to visit India because I like the Bollywood music scene there,” she says.
Coard also want to start a non-profit in her hometown of Harlem. “It would focus on youth leadership,” she says.
“The young mind & opinion is still developing and I would like to be part of that.” Pageant Experience
Coard says that her experience in the Miss Black USA Talented Teen Pageant was really fun and the other girls were all really nice.
“None of the girls were trying to sabotage anyone else or anything like that. My roommate, Mia, was from Hawaii and she taught me this Polynesian dance. I still talk to Dominique (Miss Black Ohio Talented Teen),” Coard says. “My favorite part of the whole pageant was spending time with the girls and eating.”
During the pageant, Coard’s talent was a monologue that she wrote about not doing drugs.
“It was a poem that was close to my heart, and I had “It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye to Yesterday” by Boyz II Men playing in the background.” Helping Teens Become Leaders
Coard’s platform in the pageant was youth leadership and she wanted to let teens know that their voice matters & be informed about issue that affect them and their community.
“My motto was “if not me then who? If not now then when?” Many people want to be followers but only a few step up and be leaders.” Coard has a sister, Aiyana, who is 16 years old and a brother, Skyler, who is 12. Their relationship is like any other; they get along sometimes and sometimes they don’t.
Coard says that because she is so focused on studying, that she does not have many close friends. 34
Sista’s Keeper
May 2013
“I stay to myself because my school is very academic. However, I stay in touch with girls in
other states from the pageant despite the distance. Being Her “Sista’s Keeper”
Coard’s definition of being your “sista’s keeper” is always being there for each other if they need you. “It’s all about being a guide and someone that your friend can go to. Building a sisterhood and bond is very important.” Coard will be spending her summer traveling
and getting ready for college. She will be graduating from high school on June 6th and traveling to Richmond, VA for the “Jack & Jill Teen Conference”. “Also, at the end of July, I will be attending the New York Conservatory for Dramatic Arts and going back to Spelman for orientation in August.
Coard will also be passing her Miss Black USA Talented Teen crown to the next winner when the pageant is held August 7th through the 12th.
About Naya Full Name: Naya Simone Coard Age: 18 Birthday: March 14th High School: Raleigh Charter High School Hometown: Wake Forest, NC Favorite Color: Green Favorite Movie: The Parent Trap Favorite TV show: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit & Criminal Minds What’s on your iPod? Lupe Fiasco, Beyonce’, Kelly Rowland, Melanie Fiona, and India Arie Who inspires you? My mom; I’m so much like her; my parents are divorced & I stay with her; she takes good care of me on her own Things to do for fun: Write monologues, dance choreography, cooking, and talking on the phone Something you can’t live without: My charger; I might forget the phone but I WILL have my charger
May 2013
Sista’s Keeper
35
Self-Esteem: Sometimes in life, the biggest critic that we can face is ourselves. We don’t feel pretty enough or good enough, but these simple steps will help you begin to appreciate yourself and like what you see in the mirror.
Smile :-) (Yes...that’s it!)
Pick a favorite of you rself a picture nd fram it. Thin e k of yo everyd urself ay as y yourse lf in tha ou see t pictu re.
Say “NO“ to Negativity n for o i t c u e or trod n m i a n g a orts p Write s a t ..like a how style: . f l e s r you the s-s award gentlemen, ted... and talen s e e i h t d , a “L mart s e h t ful, !!!!! _ _ _ beauti _ _____ _ _ _ _ ere) ____ h _ _ e _ m _ ____ rite your na (w 36
Sista’s Keeper
May 2013
The Beauty In You Make A List Look in the mirror and write down 10 things that you like about yourself:
1. __________________ 2. __________________ 3. __________________ 4. __________________ 5. __________________ 6. __________________ 7. __________________ 8. __________________ 9. __________________
Introdu ce POSIT yourself with IVE ad 3 j e c t i ves: My na _____ m e _____ is _ _ ___ (write your n _________ _ ame h and I a e r m e) _____ _____ _________ _ , and _____ , _____ !!!!!
Be your OWN cheerleader!!!!! • Use positive phrases to encourage yourself (like “You can do it girl!”)
ative g e N ing s U p Sto !!!!! s d r o e: W s e h t f rid o g n i t b, t Try ge Ugly, Dum , Can’t Stupid... Fat,
10. ________________ May 2013
Sista’s Keeper
37
“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” - Maya Angelou
“Self-esteem means knowing you are the dream.” - Oprah Winfrey
38
Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
• If another girl is popular, has long hair or cute clothes, that doesn’t mean she is more AWESOME than you!
Have a POSITIVE Attitude!!!!!!
Write down inspirational quotes
• Check out the ones around the edge of this page “Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another
Sista’s Keeper
May 2013
“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” - Maya Angelou
• What is something that you REALLY love to do? Figure out what that is and find a way to get better at it or do it more
Make a Playlist for Your iPod
• Add songs that make you feel good about yourself, or make you feel better when you are down
Be Proactive Remember the first habit from the 7 Habits Series back in the September issue? If there is something that you don’t like about yourself, CHANGE IT! If there is something that you want to improve on, WORK ON IT! You have the potential to be the BEST you can be but the first step begins with YOU!!!!! *Check out Maya Angelou’s quote on the left side of page 38!
stepping stone to greatness.” - Oprah Winfrey
May 2013
Sista’s Keeper
“Trust yourself. Think for yourself. Act for yourself. Speak for yourself. Be yourself.” – Marva Collins
Find Your Passion
39
Be Effective!!!!!
Habit 5: Seek First To Understand...Then to Be Understood
Sometimes, we want to solve someone’s problems before we even understand what the problem is. We simply don’t listen but the key to communication and having power and influence with people is: Seek first to UNDERSTAND, then to be understood
Listen first, talk second; see things 5 Poor Listening Styles from another’s point of view before 1. Spacing out-when someone is talking to sharing your own us but we ignore them because our mind The deepest need of the human heart is wandering is to be understood; everyone wants to 2. Pretend listening-Not paying much be respected and valued for who they attention to the other person but pretend are we are by saying “yeah”, “uh-huh”, “cool” People won’t open up unless they feel or “sounds good” genuine love and understanding; once 3. Selective listening-when we pay they feel it, they may tell you more than attention only to the part of the you want to hear conversation that interests us Think of a situation when someone 4. Word listening- only listen to words didn’t take the time to understand or lisand not body language, feelings, and true ten to you. Were you open to what they meaning behind it; miss out on what’s have to say in return? really being said You can show you care by simply tak5. Self-centered listening- seeing ing time to listen without judging and everything from our own point of view; without giving advice; to understand don’t know how they feel but we want someone, you must listen to them; most them to feel how we feel; try to one-up of us don’t know how to listen each other like it’s a conversation Listening is one of the four primary forms of communication, along with Mimicking vs. Mirroring reading, writing, and speaking Mimicking Mirroring When people talk, we don’t usually too busy preparing a response, judging • Repeating words • Repeating meaning or filtering their words through our own paradigm* • Using the same • Using your own words words • Cold and indifferent • Warm and caring
40
*Paradigm-the way you see something, your point, frame of reference, or belief.
Sista’s Keeper
May 2013
How We Reply With Our Own POV 1. We JUDGE- make judgments about what someone is saying; not really listening; people want to be heard, not judged 2. We ADVISE- give advice from our own experience; instead of listening to understand, we reflect upon our own life; they might just want to be heard; once they feel heard they will be open to your advice
Breakdown of Communication
Genuine Listening 1. Listen with your eyes, heart, and ears 2. Stand in their shoes- see things as they see it & feel how they feel 3. Practice mirroring- repeat back in your own words what the other person is saying and feeling; not mimicking (repeating exactly what they say)
Then Seek To Be Understood
“People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care”
Seeking to be understood requires courage; holding in feelings does not help because they don’t just go away; if you listen to someone, they will be more willing to listen to you Giving feedback will be appreciated; first, ask “will this really help them or am I somehow doing this for myself?”; secondly, send “I” messages instead of “you” messages (“I feel that you are being selfish.”); “you” messages are threatening & the other person will get defensive May 2013
Sista’s Keeper
41
Education Feature
Getting Ready
This college prep timeline provided by http://www.getreadyforcollege.org/
7th & 8th Grade
Freshman/Sophomore Year
• Take interest and skills assessments to help you explore careers options
activities
• Begin thinking about the high • Talk with your school counselor school classes about career options and the that will prepare education required for those careers you for college. Take the most • Talk with your parents about saving difficult classes and paying for college you can handle • Talk with friends, teachers, • Develop good counselors and your parents about study habits college
• Review your high school class plan. Take the most difficult classes you can handle. Stay focused on your schoolwork
• Volunteer in your • Participate in extracurricular community
• Enroll in a summer enrichment program
• Practice setting and reaching goals • Take interest and skills assessments to help you think about possible career options
• Talk with your school counselor and parents about careers that interest you
• Create a tentative high school class plan • Enroll in a summer enrichment program 42
• Check if your school requires 10th graders to take the PLAN to prepare for the ACT
• Sign up for classes that will earn college credit during your junior year through Advanced Placement, International Baccalaureate, Postsecondary Enrollment Options or College in the Schools • Explore internships and apprenticeships
Junior Year
• Attend college and financial aid events
• Mentor others and have a mentor for yourself
Schools
• Register for and take the ACT and/or SAT in the spring
• Participate in extracurricular activities
• Review your high school class plan. Take the most difficult classes you can handle. Stay focused on your schoolwork. Make sure you are meeting your high school graduation requirements
• Request admissions and financial aid forms
• Enroll in a summer enrichment program
• Sign up for classes that will earn college credit during your senior year through Advanced Placement, International Baccalaureate, Postsecondary Enrollment Options or College in the
• Get a job to earn and save money for college, or explore your skills through an internship or apprenticeship.
• Arrange campus visits to those schools that interest you
Sista’s Keeper
May 2013
• Research private scholarship options.
For College will show you what you need to do to get ready for college.
Senior Year
• Stay focused on your schoolwork and take the most difficult classes you can handle
• Take career interest assessments and determine the education needed for careers that interest you
• Participate in extracurricular activities
• Volunteer in the community
ATTENTION SENIORS!!!!!
Here is a month-by-month breakdown of what you need to do during your last year of high school to make sure that you are ready for college & beyond.
1. Attend a financial aid event if you haven’t already done so. Review a copy of Paying for College 2. Apply for scholarships offered by the colleges to which you have applied. 3. Apply for financial aid by completing the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) as soon as possible after January 1.
March - May 1. Have your final high school transcript sent to the colleges to which you’ve applied. 2. Choose a college and notify in writing those you don’t plan to attend.
3. Send in any required forms or deposits.
Summer 1. Get a job to earn money for college. 2. Review orientation materials from the college you selected. 3. If living on campus, check with the college for a list of what’s provided by the school and what the school expects the student to provide. 4. Contact your roommate. · Create a resume of your academic, athletic and work activities as well as other achievements. · Ask for recommendations (if required)
For more information, visit http://www.getreadyforcollege.org/> Preparing > College Prep Timeline May 2013
Sista’s Keeper
43
Sista’s Keeper Crossword Puzzle
Cartoon: “I AM My Sista’s Keeper” You never know what someone is going through.
Be a friend... be your Sista’s Keeper!!!!!
Continued from pg. 24 you and her. 5) Mend and Bring Peace It’s always good to seek and find a compromise on things, and yes!, it is possible for children and parents to compromise. Both moms and daughters want a “walk-through”, a plan-of-action as to how to keep this good dialogue going. Create an action plan to implement the agreed upon solutions. Come up with appropriate ways to evaluate your results together. Implementing an action plan shows you how to help the communication stay better between you and your mom. The ultimate goal of each of these exercises is to help surface the challenges as well as the opportunities of positively communicating with your mom. Try to reach some level of agreement about the nature of the challenge, the causes of the challenge, and 44
Sista’s Keeper
May 2013
all appropriate solutions to help meet and beat the challenges and to keep them from arising in the future. Open communication and the start of a positive, ongoing dialogue between mom and daughter is the key, and there are great ways to do this. If you need help (from a professional, as suggested above), Journey Girl, LLC is here to help. Visit www.JourneyGirl.org for workshops, tips, and ideas on how to help save and salvage the lifelong mother-daughter relationship you wish to create together. Have the benefit of knowing that someone else cares as much as you do about your own mother-daughter relationship. Journey Girl, LLC’s workshops helps the mother-daughter team (1) discuss their issues (2) articulate their concerns (3) reach a group agreement on (a) problem causes (b) problem solutions (c) action plans for solutions (d) evaluation methods.
Resources • Miss Black USA Talented Teen Pageant http://www.missblackusa.org/ • Tori Turner http://toriturner.biz/ • Journey Girl, LLC http://www.journeygirl.org/ • After Earth http://www.afterearth.com/site/ US Dept. of Health and Human Services http://www.hhs.gov Period Packs Inc. www.periodpacks.com • Dr. Leeya Pinder http://www.gcwomenscenter.org/ • College Prep Timeline http://www.getreadyforcollege.org/
Continued from pg. 22
Like this issue????? Let us know what you think... Email us your comments to: sistaskeepermag@yahoo.com or “like” us on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ SistasKeeperMagazine or follow us on Twitter: @SistasKeeperMag
but are not limited to: fatigue, changes in appetite, irritability, loss of interest in activities or hobbies that used to be pleasurable, feelings of sadness or emptiness, and thoughts of/ attempts at suicide. Be Active While positive action is always good, be sure to go about helping in the proper manner. If you or anyone you love is experiencing these symptoms, talk to a trusted adult, teacher or counselor to help you or your friend seek the help needed. Taking action as soon as any symptoms arise helps to ensure that that any mental illness is properly diagnosed and treated before it escalates. If neither you nor your loved ones are dealing with mental illness, you can still help by being an advocate. You could organize a 5k or start a club at your school or college. The more people you inform, the more people you can help!
May 2013
Sista’s Keeper
45
Black Women In History
Marian Anderson
Groundbreaking Opera Singer and Ambassador
1897: Born on February 27th in Philadelphia, PA 1915: Began voice lessons with soprano Mary Saunders Anderson; introduced to public concerts 1921: Made her singing debut at Carnegie Hall 1925: Won the New York Philharmonic voice competition with more than 300 competitors 1930: Sang for President Franklin D. Roosevelt, making her the fi rst African American to sing at the White House 1939: Gave an Easter Sunday concert at the Lincoln Memorial (see above picture) 1955: Debuted at the Metropolitan Opera House, making her the fi rst African American to perform there 1958: Became a United Nations Goodwill Ambassador 1963: Received the Presidential Medal of Freedon from John F. Kennedy 1991: Received the Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award A statue of Anderson is displayed on the campus of Converse College in Spartanburg, SC.
46
Sistaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Keeper
May 2013
1993: Died in Portland, OR at the age of 96
By eighth grade, only half as many girls as boys are interested in math, science, and engineering careers. If each of us gives a girl our time and support today, she can find the courage, confidence, and character sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll need to build a better tomorrow.