SISTERS September

SISTERS THE MAGAZINE FOR FABULOUS MUSLIM WOMEN

S eptember 2011 • Issue 25 www.sisters-magazine.com

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Time For Change

The rights of the Prophet r | Surviving a fire - twice! | The workings of a youth group A fresh approach to Islamic education | New series: Hijrah Dialogues | When the going gets tough PLUS: The Princess Diaries | Window shopping | 4 delicious lunch box ideas

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SISTERS w w w. s i s te r s - m a g a z i n e. c o m

‘Inspiring you to be the best Muslimah you can be’ WHO WE ARE SISTERS was founded in 2007 by bestselling Muslimah author, Na’ima B. Robert. The SISTERS team is made up of inspiring, dynamic, and committed Muslims based all over the world, from London to Cairo, from New York to Johannesburg.

The magazine’s ethos is rooted in the Qur’an and Sunnah, according to the understanding of the Pious Predecessors, and our inspiration is Islam as a beautiful and richly rewarding way of life.

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Na’ima B. Robert MANAGING EDITOR Farzana Gardee ASSISTANT EDITOR Huma Imam ISLAMIC EDITOR Abdul Wahid Stephenson LAYOUT & DESIGN Reyhana Daud @ Brand Niche ADVERTISING & SALES DIRECTOR Zinat Hassan @ Business Ease (zhassan@sisters-magazine.com) DISTRIBUTION (UK) Azad Uddin (sales@sisters-magazine.com)

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Email: editor@sisters-magazine.com WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUBSCRIBE TO SISTERS? Email: info@sisters-magazine.com

DISTRIBUTION (IRELAND) Fawziyyah Emiabata (ireland@sisters-magazine.com) DISTRIBUTION (NIGERIA) Soul Sisters Collections (nigeria@sisters-magazine.com) DISTRIBUTION (US) Maryam Funmilayo (usa@sisters-magazine.com) DISTRIBUTION (CANADA) Bilqees Quick (canada@sisters-magazine.com) DISTRIBUTION (AUSTRALIA) Anvar Zackaria (australia@sisters-magazine.com)

CONTRIBUTOR P R O F I L E S Fatima Barkatulla

Regular SISTERS writer Fatima Barkatulla takes time out from her busy schedule to tell us what’s going on for her.

Where in the world are you?

I live in London which can sometimes seem like a country more than a city. Masha Allah one in seven Londoners are Muslim and there are over 300 mosques, so there is a lot going on - courses, events, bazaars, conferences, circles, weddings - there’s always so much on offer!

Tell us about your family I’ve been married since I was nineteen to my beloved husband Saleem. I have 4 children masha Allah - three boys and a girl and we live near my parents, which is lovely because I still get to chill out at my mum’s place. I have two sisters and a brother and I am the eldest of my siblings. Masha Allah all of my siblings are bright and inspiring individuals and we have all flown the nest with our spouses. My inlaws who used to be a big part of our lives have passed away in the last few years and we still feel the void from their leaving this world - May Allah I grant them Jannah.

What’s a typical day in your life like?

On weekdays I’m generally up at 6.30a.m. and I do Qur’an revision with my son. Then my husband helps me get all the kids ready and

takes them to school. I then attend to my baby daughter and get the shopping or household chores sorted for the day. When she naps for 2 hours, I study or do some writing or other work, or exercise. When it’s nearly hometime, I cook before picking up the kids. My eldest son eats and goes off to his Hifdh class at the mosque while the younger two read Qur’an with me at home and do some homework or play in the garden. After dinner my husband picks up my eldest from his class and the kids get ready and go to bed... that’s when I do some more work or prepare for the next day.

What is your favourite ayah in the Qur’an and why?

Such a difficult question to answer! I think the ayah that always gives me comfort is:

“And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me – indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me and believe in Me that they may be guided.” [Al-Baqarah:186]

WOULD YOU LIKE TO CONTRIBUTE TO SISTERS? Email: write@sisters-magazine.com www.sisters-magazine.com Telephone: +44 (0)208 150 3117 (sales and enquiries)

SISTERS is published monthly. Nothing in the magazine may be reproduced in whole or in part without the written permission of the publishers. All material sent for publication is sent at the owner’s risk and, while every care is taken, SISTERS does not accept any liability for loss or damage. Although SISTERS has endeavoured to ensure that all information in the magazine is correct, mistakes may occur. Please notify the Editor (editor@sisters-magazine.com) in this event. All prices and details correct at time of going to press.

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To buy or subscribe to the online version, go to www.sisters-magazine.com

September 2011 SISTERS 05

CONTENTS S eptem ber 2011

J.Samia Mair

J.Samia Mair has been with SISTERS for many years and here she shares tidbits of her hectic life!

Where in the world are you?

Maryland, USA. Have a family? Kids?

Husband and twin daughters.

What’s a typical day in your life like?

Busy. Mornings always begin with prayers. I try to get up about 40 minutes before fajr to do tahajjud, witr and ask for forgiveness.

I also like to walk in the neighbourhood for about an hour in the morning and do dhikr. After walking, I sit outside on our back deck and do my wird, enjoying the cicadas’ calls. Good days are getting all of this done before my girls wake up. When they get up, I feed them breakfast and begin home schooling. We eat lunch and then we have some more home schooling. I try to sneak in cleaning and other chores and checking email when they are working on their own. Afternoons and some early evenings have activities. We usually meet with other Muslim home schoolers for the activities.

While we are out, I fit in praying, food shopping and other errands.

My husband usually cooks dinner, alhamdulillah, and does most of the work getting the girls to bed, which allows me to write and read in the evenings. I also fit in writing and reading during the day when I get a chance. I never leave home without at least one book and something to write on. Days end with prayers before I crash utterly exhausted, wondering how long I will be able to keep up this schedule!

What are you currently reading?

The World As It Is: Dispatches on the myth of human progress

by Chris Hedges and Lies My Teacher Told Me: everything your American history textbook got wrong by James W. Lowen.

What is your favourite surah in the Qur’an and why?

It is hard to pick just one but one of my favorites is Surah At-Teen [95] because of the fig’s symbolism.

Life is challenging.

I believe in One God. I write because I must.

8

SELF

12 Sunnah Focus: We owe it to him The rights the Prophet r has over us 14 Beneath the scars A story of survival and gratitude

16 Time to change Moving forward and upwards

42

A grassroots movement: Noor-ul-Islam Youth A safe space for young people to learn, grow and develop

44

SISTERS Reads We review Onion Tears and catch up with the author for a quick chat

46

The Hijrah Dialogues Is the grass really greener on the other side?

48

LiveGreen: Reap What you Sow Growing your own food

18 SISTERS Wellness Keep connected after Ramadhan and discover the tools for seamlessly organised days

22 When the going gets tough How to relieve the stress in your life

FAMILY 26 Budding Writers Competition Winning entries from a host of super talented young Muslim writers

32 Islamic Shaksiyah Foundation An Islamic school with a difference

34 Education Focus Learn to learn at all times, anytime!

36 AskMegan Dealing with insecurities and showing your husband respect

39 The Princess Diaries Uplifiting solutions for gloomy times

40 Confessions of a wannabe matriarch The big day has arrived!

September 2011 SISTERS 06

WORLD

Editor’Space

DELIGHTS 52

Window Shopping Get sassy with our classy collection of dresses, tunics and tops

54

Pizzazz No matter your shape, let patterns work for you!

56

Vanity Box Ways to keep those brows groomed

57

The Skincare Rules

58

Voila: Big Bag Fad Ever wondered just what is inside that big bag?

60

Recipe Feature Delicious bites for your lunch box

62

Cooking Basics The perfect grill!

64

Foodie Bites Discover how sherbet became sorbet

68

SISTERS Classifieds

EDITOR’SPACE Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Raheem There is a saying in Nigeria, a piece of slang that is used on the street and on hip billboard posters: ‘shine your eyes’.

‘Shine your eyes’ means ‘look sharp’, ‘wake up’ - recognise.

And without doubt, my all-too-brief trip to Nigeria in July was an opportunity for me to shine my eyes, to wake up. To wake up to the reality, the enormity of our mission at SISTERS, to recognise the opportunity that Allah I has given us, to be aware of what others expect of us.

To say that Nigerian sisters love SISTERS Magazine is an understatement. For your West African sisters, it is a source of pride and confidence in their Islamic identity, in a country where many Muslims suffer from feelings of inferiority. It is a source of information and halal entertainment and many have found it invaluable in da’wah. One of the first events that was organised in Abuja was a soiree for women only in a smart hall in the city. The stage was beautifully decorated, SISTERS Magazine and my other books were on display and the Minister for the Environment had been invited. The hall was filled with an amazing variety of sisters from all over: Abuja, Kaduna, Lagos and even Kano. Sisters who were students, mothers, community activists, engineers, doctors, civil servants and more packed the hall, eager to meet me, the editor of SISTERS, in the flesh. And they did. And in the process, they shared what they loved about SISTERS, what it meant to them, how it had changed their lives. Among them were sisters who had been readers since the very beginning, when we were first online, others were hearing about it for the first time that day. All were excited about the magazine that, for them, represents a triumph of sisterhood, by the grace of Allah I.

Hearing these Muslim women talking about the life-changing effects of SISTERS, I felt my heart fill with emotion. Isn’t this why we started SISTERS four and a half years ago? Wasn’t this what we had been striving for all along? How had we lost sight of these noble goals? How had we become distracted?

My extended trip to the UK introduced me to many different SISTERS readers and many different viewpoints on the way the magazine is going, where we are falling short and what we can do to improve. This led to much soul-searching, something necessary for us all if we are ever to remain sincere. I was grateful for the opportunity to view SISTERS from the outside and take stock but these exchanges also confirmed what I felt in my heart, right from the very beginning: that, although SISTERS is a lifestyle magazine, it is a lifestyle magazine with a difference. It has, if you like, a ‘higher calling’, bi’idhnillah.

We call to perfecting our lives as Muslim women, to living Islam in a holistic way and to cultivating ourselves from the inside out: spiritually, intellectually, emotionally and physically.

Through this, we hope to draw near to Allah I and the Prophet Muhammad r according to the belief of Ahlus-Sunnah.

To those who feel that this is a positive message, a message of hope and optimism, a message of truth and benefit in this life and the next, I say to you, ‘Join us.’ This magazine is your magazine; it belongs to the sisters: the writers, the readers, those who work behind the scenes. This magazine is not in the service of anyone’s ego, or anyone’s donors - this magazine is in the service of Allah ta’ala and the sisters (and brothers!) who benefit from it. Take from it, give back to it, benefit from it, and allow others to benefit from it.

Help us to improve it, correct us when we make mistakes, cheer us when we succeed and spread any good that you get from us.

I ask Allah I to bless every one of you that has helped to get us this far. And I ask for your du’as to enable us to continue what we have started, with pure intentions, passion, dedication and vision.

To all our readers and writers of the past, present and future, I thank you for the SISTERhood. It has been an utterly amazing journey, alhamdulillah.

Wasalaam

Na’ima B. Robert editor@sisters-magazine.com PS. May Allah ta’ala reward the team of Muslim Identity (MID) Collections for arranging my first trip to Nigeria - may it be the first of many, ameen!

September 2011 SISTERS 08

Are you aged between 16 and 23?

Are you a BUDDING JOURNALIST?

Sign up for the SISTERS Budding Journalist Course!

Let SISTERS train you to write for magazines and newspapers - and get your work published.

On the 30th of September, SISTERS will be launching a crash-course for young wannabe Muslim magazine writers and journalists. All you need to do is sign up at www.sisters-magazine. com to receive an information pack, writing guides and access to audio and webinars that will help you hone your skills as a magazine journalist. Whether you are interested in research-based features, personal narratives, interviews, reviews, food or fashion writing, the SISTERS Budding Journalist Course is a must-do!

But that’s not all! After completing the course, you will be invited to submit a piece for publication in the February 2012 issue of SISTERS - edited by our special budding editors and designed by budding designers!

So what are you waiting for? Log on to www.sisters-magazine.com now and register for this unique and exciting course.

Course is open to all Muslim women, aged between 16 and 23, based anywhere in the world. Individuals, schools, colleges and homeschooling groups are welcome to register and take part. English language skills and access to the Internet are essential. Entries must be emailed to write@sisters-magazine.com.

Self

Our Self section guides you through your various layers as a Muslimah: learning about Allah, cultivating your character, cleansing your soul, nourishing your mind and taking care of your body.

August 2011 SISTERS 11

We owe it to him Fatima Barkatulla discusses the rights of the Prophet r over us.

you and will forgive your sins; Indeed Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.” [AlImran:31] Allah I also told us: “You have indeed,

in the Messenger of Allah a beautiful pattern of conduct” [Al-Ahzab:21] When ‘Umar t looked at the Black Stone in the Ka’bah he said: “You are a stone that can neither help nor harm. Had I not seen the Messenger of Allah kiss you, I would not have kissed you.” Then he kissed it. That is how the companions strove to emulate the Messenger of Allah r - in his actions, behaviour and instructions.

The fourth right: To love him

Our love for the Prophet r must be greater than our love for any other created being or thing, as Allah I tells us:

How important is the Prophet Muhammad r to you?

When asked that question, Muslims the world over eagerly express their love for him - and rightly so.

For when the world was lost in the darkness of ignorance, Allah I gave him a lamp with which to guide humanity back to their Maker.

D

id you know that the Messenger of Allah r does have certain rights upon us? Are you fulfilling the rights of the Prophet r?

The first right: To believe in him and to believe him

When the idolaters of Makkah ran to Abu Bakr as-Siddeeq t mocking the statement of his friend Muhammad r who had claimed to have travelled to Jerusalem, up to the heavens and back in one night - Abu Bakr’s faith was unwavering: “If Muhammad said it, it is true.”

To be a Muslim, a person must accept that the Prophet Muhammad r was

September 2011 SISTERS 12

indeed a messenger from God - without that belief a person cannot take their shahadah and become a believer. This necessitates believing that everything he said is also true. So when we hear or read an established authentic Hadith of the Prophet r, we should take it seriously and accept the information that is conveyed in it.

The second right: To obey him

Allah I mentions obedience to the Messenger r in connection with obedience to Him:

“O you who have believed, obey Allah and His Messenger...” [Al-Anfal:20] We can’t be truly obedient to Allah I unless we obey his Messenger r. Obeying

the Messenger means doing what he commanded us to do and refraining from all that he forbade. Some of those things are found in the Qur’an but many others are found in the Sunnah and are not necessarily mentioned in the Qur’an.

The third right: To follow his way

One of the blessings we have as the Ummah of Muhammad r is the preservation of detailed descriptions of his life as an example for us, in a way that no other individuals’ in history have been kept.

Allah I says:

“Say (O Muhammad): If you love Allah, then follow me, Allah will love

“Say, (O Muhammad), “If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your relatives, wealth which you have obtained, commerce wherein you fear decline and dwellings with which you are pleased, are more beloved to you than Allah and His Messenger and jihad in His cause, then wait until Allah executes His command...”

[Al-Taubah:24] The reward for truly loving the Prophet r is no less than his company in the hereafter as related in an authentic narration. But how should that love manifest itself? True love of the Prophet r means that we prefer what the he came with, over and above our own desires; that we yearn to meet him; that we mention him and his way often and strive to follow it and that we have compassion for his nation - his Ummah and strive for its betterment.

The fifth right: to respect him Allah I tells us in the Qur’an:

“Indeed, We have sent you as a witness and a bringer of good tidings and a warner, that you [people] may believe in Allah and His Messenger and honour him and respect the Prophet....” [Al-Fath:8-9]

Respect for the Prophet r means honouring him, putting his opinion over our own, defending him if he is verbally abused and calling him with the noblest titles such as Messenger of Allah r. It means holding his family and companions in high esteem and refraining from joking about him and his companions. In our times, we may not be able to defend the Prophet r physically as the companions did, but we can defend his name when we hear misconceptions people have about him, lies about his personality and attacks upon his character and integrity.

The sixth right: to judge according to his Shari’ah

Allah I is One, not only as Creator and as the only One worthy of worship, but also as the One who has the right to legislate for us:

“And if you disagree over anything, refer it to Allah and the Messenger, if you should believe in Allah and the Last Day. That is the best [way] and best in result.” [4:59]

”

The Qur’an and Sunnah set the criterion for what is right and what is wrong and they should be the port of call for Muslims in times of confusion - with the guidance of learned scholars. So we can’t put our own desires above the laws of Allah I, nor allow other law systems to be our reference points.

The seventh right: To send him Salah and Salam

Allah I commands us to send Salah and Salam upon His Messenger r in the Qur’an:

“Indeed, Allah confers blessing upon the Prophet, and His angels [ask Him to do so]. O you who have believed, ask [Allah to confer] blessings upon him and ask [Allah to grant him] peace.” [33:56] In sending Salah and Salam upon the Prophet r, we are asking Allah I to preserve him from harm and are also greeting the Prophet r. Allah I will cause this greeting to reach him even though he is no longer with us.

The best wording to use is that which the Prophet r himself taught Abu Humaid AsSaidi t, which translates as: “O Allah! Send your greetings on Muhammad who is Your servant and Your Messenger, the same way as You sent Your greetings on Abraham’s family, You are the Praiseworthy, Glorious.

And send Your blessings on Muhammad and on Muhammad’s family, the same way as You sent Your blessings on Abraham’s family, You are the Praiseworthy, Glorious.”

Another way is to simply say: “sallallahu alaihi wa sallam” whenever the Prophet’s name is mentioned.

The eighth right: To avoid innovations in the religion he came with

The Prophet r being the last Messenger to mankind, left the world after giving us the complete deen for living our lives by. We have a duty not to water down or change that religion, lest it become like the messages of Easa u and Musa u unrecognisable to their own prophets. The Prophet r warned us against innovations in the religion: “Beware of the newlyinvented matters (in the religion), for every newly-invented matter is an innovation and every innovation is misguidance and every misguidance is in the Hellfire.”

Though we live over a thousand years after the Prophet r passed away, Allah I has given us these means to create a bond with our Prophet r and fulfill our duty towards him. May Allah I allow us to take up these means and grant us the blessing of meeting the Prophet r on the Day of Judgement and being recognised as his true followers.

May he lead us to drink from the pool of AlKawthar and welcome us as members of his Ummah. Aameen.

Fatima Barkatulla began studying Arabic and Islamic law in Egypt at a college of Al Azhar University as well as other institutes in Cairo. She is currently a lecturer for iERA (The Islamic Education & Research Academy).

Barkatulla has written for the The Times as well as contributed to Times Online’s Faith section on topics promoting the understanding of Islam from an Orthodox perspective. She has contributed to many documentaries and live shows for the BBC, Islam Channel, BBC Radio 4 and other local radio stations.

September 2011 SISTERS 13

It

was January 2005, and I was travelling with a group of pilgrims to Saudi Arabia to perform Hajj. I saw two Muslim women waiting at my gate and suspected that they were a part of my group. As I approached them, I saw that one of the sisters had significant scarring on her face. It seemed to me, that it could only be from extensive burn injuries. I also noticed her beautiful, large dark eyes.

years apart, and survived is nearly unheard of. But what is most remarkable about Susu’s story, is Susu herself.

For the first time

be tested in this life, “Everyone is going to taste death, and We

When Susu was 5-years-old, her parents sent her away during the summer to study Arabic with family friends living in another state.

One day a fire broke out in the kitchen on the main level of their home. Thinking that she could contain the fire, the owner told Susu to go upstairs and get everyone out. There were three people upstairs; the owner’s son, who was about Susu’s age, a woman and her baby. Susu rushed upstairs to warn the others, but the fire spread too quickly.

The house owner managed to escape by running outside. The boy got scared and hid inside a sleeping bag. The woman and her baby were both asleep on the bed. Susu was unable to rouse her, so she picked up the baby and placed the baby in the bathtub. The last thing she remembers is trying to get downstairs.

Beneath the scars J.Samia Mair meets Susu, a rare individual who has left her forever changed.

The boy died from smoke inhalation. The baby’s mother survived only to remain in a permanent vegetable state. Alhamdulillah, the baby in the bathtub suffered no injuries. Susu, who was found unconscious on the staircase, suffered second and third degree burns across 60% of her body. She spent over three months in the hospital in recovery. Her face, neck, arms and hands were severely burned, so much so that doctors wanted to amputate her fingers.

Struck again - the second fire

Three months after losing her mother, a 17-year-old Susu found herself in her second fire when she visited one of her mother’s friends. Due to her loss of depth perception from the first fire, she leaned over the stove while making tea and came too close to the open flame. Her hijab caught on fire and her neck burned all over again, as well as her chest. Although her burn injuries this time round were less than in the first fire, they were still severe.

Burn injuries are known to be the most painful injuries to heal.

Severe burns require difficult skin graft surgeries and extensive stays in the hospital. To date, Susu who is now 40-years-old, has had over 40 operations and has been in and out of the hospital since the first fire.

September 2011 SISTERS 14

shall make a trial of you with evil and with good. And to Us you will be returned.” [Al-Anbiya:35]

Blessings she can’t count

For a long time Susu accepted that she would never marry because of her injuries. During the Hajj many of us made du’a that she would find a loving and pious husband. As her stepmother puts it, “A year later he dropped out of heaven.” Her husband understands her limitations and gladly takes over where he must. He does all the cooking, knowing that it is dangerous for her to be near the stove.

He does all the driving as well.

”

The doctors did not think that she would survive. Her father, a physician, and her mother, a nurse, instructed them not to amputate her fingers but to wait and see how she healed. Her fingers were never amputated, but they are somewhat deformed and limited in use. She also suffered damage to her occipital lobe – the part of the brain controlling vision – due to the smoke. Although she can see, she is legally blind and has lost depth perception making her unable to drive.

Most people will never sustain burn injuries that require prolonged hospitalisation. To have been severely burned in two separate fires,

I have never heard her complain about her fate or question Allah’s I decree. In fact, it is quite the opposite. Although she does not know why Allah I has tested her in this way, she believes there is ultimate good in it. She believes that Allah I loves her and has blessed her in many ways. For Allah I tells us in the Qur’an that each of us will

Susu also wondered if she could have and care for a child. A year after she married, she birthed a beautiful boy named Mohammad.

When Mohammad was 2 and a half years old, he saw his mother trying unsuccessfully to tear off the foil from a yoghurt container and said, “I’ll do it for you mummy.” Even as a toddler, he understood that his mother was unable to do everything and he has always been there to help her. By all accounts, he is an exceedingly bright child with a memory well beyond his years. At four, he has memorised more of the Qur’an than many adults. Susu is convinced that Mohammad is among the greatest blessings that Allah I has bestowed upon her.

When I first met Susu I noticed two things about her: the scars on her face and her beautiful eyes. As I got to know her during the Hajj, I discovered that she was full of life, humour and happiness, and she possessed a profound love for Allah I and His Messenger r. By the end of the Hajj, I knew that I had met one of the very few people who are a witness for Allah I, a living example of what it means to be Muslim.

And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sabirun (the patient).

Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: “Truly! To Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return.”

They are those on whom are the Salawat (i.e., who are blessed and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are those who receive His) mercy, and it is they who are the guided ones. [Al-Bakarah:155-157] J. Samia Mair is the author of two children’s books, Amira’s Totally Chocolate World, and The Perfect Gift. She is a freelance author and has published in magazines, books, anthologies, scientific journals, and elsewhere. She is currently working on a chapter book about Islam.

September 2011 SISTERS 15

Time for Change SOLACE offers support for self empowerment and change within the lives of sisters.

C

hange is at the heart of life. For children it comes naturally, without much effort or fear. But as adults, the process becomes more difficult - we cover our faults and prefer to stay in the comfort of what we know, rather than move into the unknown.

However, an increasing number of women in our communities are making momentous changes as they take their Shahada and enter Islam.

Yet sadly, these revert sisters often find that at some stage in their journey as a Muslim they struggle with difficulties – those brought from the days before Islam, or those encountered since their reversion.

And once again, in order to become the Muslims they truly desire to be, they are faced with the need for change in their lives.

When a sister refers herself to SOLACE, an organisation for revert sisters in difficulty, it means she has taken the first step in recognising an aspect of her life that she wants to change - whether it be with her iman, her lifestyle, her relationships or her character. Initially she may identify certain difficulties as the problem, whilst covering up the root cause. As a sister is helped to develop the tools for change in her life, she will be able to break through to the deeper issues that need to be faced. Setting goals, building self-confidence and improving her knowledge of Allah I will all enable her to step forward and make changes in her life.

Meet Halima (a revert from Christianity) Married with a young son and working full-time, Halima first approached SOLACE after having read about their support in SISTERS magazine. She explained that she felt lonely and isolated from other sisters

September 2011 SISTERS 16

and was unable to connect deeply with any of them. She described herself as organised, ambitious and strong-minded, which she felt often threatened others. Her stressful career, where she faced discrimination, had begun to take its toll on her health.

Halima was adamant that attending local halaqas wouldn’t work for her. A new issue arose as she explained that she disliked being the only sister attending on her own.

She divulged that in reality she has very low self-confidence, but covers it up by her approach to life.

With the support of SOLACE, Halima was encouraged to look further for the root cause of her problems. She subsequently revealed that there were issues in her marriage, as she earned a higher salary and had taken on the responsibility of being the main provider for the family. She felt that her husband was jealous of her, to the point of hating her. They didn’t go out together as a family, and he had begun sleeping on the sofa and not talking to her freely.

Digging Deeper After much discussion, she came to the conclusion that this bitterness between her and her husband was due to the reversal of traditional roles in their home.

She knew this was a deep-rooted problem that they had ignored, with the result that their marriage was now in crisis. Her need for close friendships with sisters was a secondary issue which stemmed from the loneliness and isolation in her marriage.

She recognised the urgent need to communicate deeply, as previous attempts had only shown a mirrored response: when asking her husband, “Why are you treating me this way?”, he would respond with, “Why are you treating me this way?”

favourite chocolate, calling him certain names and cooking a special meal for him.

Because she now gave all her attention to their son, she no longer made time for those small acts of love.

Halima’s steps to change: She decided to take some positive action and chose three areas of change to work on: • Re-establishing acts of love to rekindle their relationship.

• Communicating more with her husband.

• Making small changes to allow her husband back into her personal space.

With Halima, the results came more quickly than she expected. As a result of just one session of sitting down and truly communicating, both she and her husband realised how they were mirroring each other’s reactions, and hence each felt the same type of tension and resentment. As they communicated more honestly and openly, words of love and commitment were renewed afresh and their relationship improved to such an extent that Halima described it as being on their honeymoon all over again!

Instead of focusing her attention on her son, Halima explored new ways for all three of them to enjoy each other’s company, such as sharing breakfast in bed together on a Sunday morning. Her husband began taking a more active part in their son’s life, and Halima felt joyful and complete as her family became more closely-knit - a rich blessing from Allah I.

It became clear that each of them needed to work at softening their relationship and making it happier and more harmonious.

Having the strength to change is encouraged by positive non-judgemental support from SOLACE. Although SOLACE can provide support for sisters who contact them, change can only come from the sisters themselves. And recognising the need for change, setting personal goals and putting them into action has to be coupled with trust in Allah I for the process and the outcomes to be truly beneficial.

Halima was asked about the ways she had expressed love for her husband when they first married. She recalled buying him his

Since Halima rediscovered the love, stability and friendship with her husband, she no longer felt the need to look for

this in her relationship with sisters. She felt empowered and equipped to move forward: “If I hadn’t sought help from SOLACE, my situation would still be dragging on, affecting my health both mentally and physically.Through Allah’s blessing of SOLACE, you have helped me address my fears and step up to be a strong, confident and loving Muslim. SOLACE has changed my life for the best and I will always be grateful and thankful for this.”

“When you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah.”

[Al-Imran:59] * The sister’s name and some details have been changed to safeguard the confidentiality between SOLACE and the sisters who contact them. This article has been written with the sister’s full permission, as a desire to share her experiences in order to benefit others, inshaAllah.

Connect with us: Call: +44 (0) 7985 641080 Website: http://www.solaceuk.org/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ SOLACEforrevertsindifficulty Twitter: @SOLACE4reverts Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/ SOLACEforreverts

SOLACE is an organisation which helps revert sisters going through difficulties, regardless of whether they have been Muslim for a few weeks or for many years. SOLACE provides fully trained volunteers to work alongside revert sisters, offering a range of carefully designed services.

SISTERS is delighted to support SOLACE in its important work with revert sisters in difficulty. As one of our designated charities, all volunteers and clients will receive copies of SISTERS every month. May Allah I reward them all!

September 2011 SISTERS 17

SISTERSWellness

Working through the post-Ramadhan blues Maintain your spiritual focus with Saiyyidah Zaidi’s useful tips.

The

Eid parties are over, your kids are back to school and you are back into your day-to-day routine - going to work, doing all the chores and perhaps feeling less focussed on your faith as you hoped you would. The first few days after Ramadhan are still faith charged, a few weeks on and as you slip back into your normal routine, you wonder whether Ramadhan was last month or 6 months ago!

What happened to the intensity of your faith, your energy levels and your commitment and drive to be the best Muslim at work and at home? Our virtuous selves from Ramadhan slowly disappear and the old you returns. However, there is a way to avoid this and to maintain the recharged faith you developed in Ramdhan. This is particularly important if you are working in a non-Muslim environment, as it’s easy to get caught up in work if the intensity and depth of one’s faith is dwindling. This isn’t because you want this to be the case, but because there is always so much to do at work and your brain can only hold so much.

September 2011 SISTERS 18

You might also be missing your family and friends. Chances are that you spent more time with your husband and other relatives during Ramadhan and Eid. Now that he is back at work, the kids are back at school and you are back to your old routine, it is possible that you are missing the interaction and attention of your loved ones.

So how do you get motivated and focussed on keeping some of the changes that you have made at work in relation to your faith?

This requires just a few small steps and I remind myself first, then others, to use these steps not just in Shawaal but also throughout the year so that we can avoid Ramadan just being a positive blip, insha Allah.

Do you get bored at work? There are times when everyone does, but it’s what you do with those moments that matter. Just as there is no room for boredom in Ramadhan, make no room for it now. Change tasks or take a small break and recharge the energy

levels, sometimes some deep breathing also helps one to refocus - this works for both, work and faith-focused activities during the day.

Feel it and believe it! Close your eyes and recall the feeling you had as you prayed in the last ten days, particularly during laylatul-qadr. As you get ready for your prayers at work recall the intensity of the feeling that you had in Ramadhan and really put it into your daily prayers.

Many of us feel unable to pray on time while at work or get caught up with daily tasks. In the same way that you arrange meetings with colleagues or clients, why not arrange meetings with Allah (SWT) for your five daily prayers. This is something that is so powerful that I know sisters who have done this and then had huge breakthroughs in their ability to wake up for fajr on time. A wonderful piece of advice I heard recently was from someone who was just about to graduate from a Dar-ul-uloom; regardless of the level of knowledge you

have, in order to be the best Muslim, the key is to pray five times a day.

I am sure you will have increased your recitation of the Qur’an in Ramadhan and felt the contentment as you read it, even on a hot summer’s day on the way to work in a busy train or bus. Maintain this relationship with the Qur’an - whatever tips you used to increase your recitation, continue using them. Reading at least one page a day should feel like a breeze now, so go for it and don’t stop. How about reading a page after every prayer? It should only take a minute or two and by the end of the day you’ll have read five pages.

And finally, for those moments when you just can’t focus on your prayer or you don’t have the time due to something that has happened at work; just close your eyes, take a deep breath and recall that feeling of yours from the deepest spiritual moment of your Ramadhan, and then reflect on that for a few moments and see how your view will have shifted insha Allah.

For those of us who work in an office it can be easy to think about worship as all or nothing, but the challenge really is how you interlink your work and faith. Let’s avoid the post Ramadan blues together!

Take a look at how much time you managed to ‘squeeze’ in with your loved ones during Ramadhan. Do all you can to maintain those relationships and spend time with the people that matter - give da’wah at work by taking small treats into work, cook something for the neighbours or help a friend. The effort is small but the impact can be pretty huge!

If you have any questions for Saiyyidah please email us at: editor@sisters-magazine.com.

Saiyyidah Zaidi is the founder of Working Muslim. She is a certified Business CoachTM and trainer. Saiyyidah spent 20 years in the corporate work place before establishing her own consultancy. She is a Fellow of the Institute of Leadership and Management and Member of the Institute of Directors.

Working Muslim is a non-profit organisation championing the working Muslim woman, and enabling working Muslims to balance responsibilities to work, faith, family and society.

More details at www.workingmuslim.com

September 2011 SISTERS 19

Get Organised

Life Coach Sayeda Habib tackles optimising time management in one’s day.

Question: How can I organise my day so that it flows better?

What tips and tools can I implement to give me a fulfilled but stress-free day?

As

you’re reading this, take your attention towards the thoughts that are simmering away at the back of your mind. Most of us have a lot on our plates these days and we’re preoccupied with worrying about how to fit it all in.

Perhaps you too find yourself thinking about all that you need to get done in the hours ahead. Sometimes just keeping all the things that we have to get done straight in our minds is a huge challenge.

Not important and not urgent: (e.g. browsing the net, watching TV)

Having organised and seamless days can be anything but easy. You might be getting things done, but if you are constantly running around without a time-out, your health suffers. Are you always rushed, multi-tasking or running to start one thing after barely finishing the last? If so, then the following exercise is for you.

As you look at your diary, answer the following questions to raise awareness:

Exercise: Powerful Organisation Step 1: Get a paper diary! Digital diaries are portable and they provide reminders, but they also have one significant drawback.

Being small, they do not allow you a visual scope of how your days are laid out. Buy a diary that has a week view laid out over two pages. You will be able to clearly see what you have planned, and you will notice gaps and chunks of time you have available, not just over the day, but also throughout the week. This is critical in helping reduce that overwhelmed feeling. Yes the diary will be bigger, but it will be worth it!

Step 2: Fill in an activities chart.

The Activities Chart Important and urgent: (e.g. school run, working, groceries, paying bills) Not important but urgent: (e.g. ringing phones, computer issues, emails) Important and not urgent: (e.g. career planning, dhikr, hobbies)

September 2011 SISTERS 20

notice what’s working and only tweak what’s needed.

Step 3: Now write your current tasks, activities and commitments into your diary. Use colour markers to block out chunks of time where you are already committed. Use one colour for each of the four categories, or as you see fit. The colours will make it easy to see where you’re spending your time.

Step 4:

1. Am I spending more of my time

responding to the urgent things or doing what’s really important to me?

2. How much time am I devoting to the important aspects of my life (physical, mental, emotional and spiritual?) Which ones, if any, are being neglected?

3. What important areas, when I spend time on them, will really flourish and make a difference in my life?

4. What is one thing that I can do with organising my time that will really make a long-term difference to the quality of my day?

Step 5: Now that you can literally see where your time is being spent, plan your week according to the changes that you would like to see and experience in your day.

Ensure that you carve out time for the “important” things, and reduce some of the “urgents” that are draining your energy.

Make sure you schedule in time to relax, meet up with friends, or just get in some personal time.

Step 6: Re-assess. Give yourself one month with your new planning strategy, then re-assess.

Notice how your new organisation is working out and make any adjustments that you need to. Remember to make small adjustments each time, so you can really

The “urgents” Calculate how much time you spend checking emails, surfing the web, answering phone calls, or dealing with day-to-day home repairs. These are just some of the “urgents” that you might be dealing with in any given day.

An “urgent” action, in the context of organisation, is something that doesn’t necessarily contribute to your longterm goals or values, but still screams for attention; it is something that has a pressing nature to it and it demands that it is addressed in the moment.

The “importants” I imagine that you’re thinking everything that you do is urgent. Just take a moment, breathe and bring your focus towards the important tasks. An important task is one that contributes to your goals, values and vision for your life such as updating your professional skills, or engaging in a hobby. It is something that is usually done over an ongoing period, though there are some important tasks that overlap into the urgent category as well. Getting the kids to school on time is a great example.

It’s urgent because you need to get the kids to school on time, and important because it is associated with the longterm welfare of your family.

Insha Allah you will find this exercise both eye opening and useful. With practice, you will gain a balance between focusing on what’s important and dealing with the urgent tasks at hand, Insha Allah.

Sayeda Habib is a Life Coach. She was featured in Rapport Magazine, ARY Digital Television, and has been a presenter on the Islam Channel. To get in touch with Sayeda log on to www.makelifehappen.com, call 0843 216 2025 or email Sayeda@makelifehappen.com

September 2011 SISTERS 21

When the Going Gets Tough

can help shift your body to a more normal, unstressed state. Imagine there is a balloon in your stomach. As you inhale, you fill up the balloon and as you exhale, you deflate the balloon. This is diaphragmatic or deep breathing. Unlike shallow breathing which involves the rise and fall of your upper chest, deep breathing originates lower in your body at the stomach.

Rest your Soul

Using a holistic framework of the psychological, social, nutritional, physical and spiritual elements of being, Jenna Evans explains how to thrive under stress.

S

umbul is the musky, medicinal root of a plant found in central Asia. But when I think of Sumbul, it is not plants or herbs that I imagine. Instead, the soft black curls and knowing eyes of a young girl fill my mind’s eye. An undiagnosed illness confined Sumbul to a wheelchair, rendered her speechless, and ultimately took her life when she was only twelve. She spent her last three days in hospital surrounded by loved ones. “We didn’t know what to do,” says her mother Saamiya Sohail, “her death came as a huge shock.”

The Stress Factor Traumatic incidents such as the death of a loved one are categorised highest on the stress scale, but we also encounter stressors in our daily lives. If you hold any position of responsibility – whether it be raising your children, leading a community project, managing a department at work or caring for your elderly parents - chances are you have endured stress. Stress is the wear and tear your body suffers as a result of a negative emotional experience. Stress can be anticipatory, meaning it is caused by concern over the future; residual, which is stress regarding the past; situational, meaning it is an immediate challenge or source of agitation; or chronic, which is stress that persists over time. Regardless of the nature of the stress, a bodily reaction is triggered in which a number of hormones are released. This process is referred to as the “fight or flight” response.

We each experience the “fight or flight” response differently. For some it is characterised by physical symptoms

September 2011 SISTERS 22

such as a fast pulse, tight back and neck muscles, or loss of appetite. Others may experience stress as emotional or psychological problems; examples include tension, irritability, poor concentration, exhaustion, or trouble sleeping. Often, our symptoms span both the physical and the psychological. Despite the various signs, some individuals may be unaware of their stress. Dr. Feryad Hussain, a clinical psychologist, explains that this can occur “because they are so accustomed to the symptoms of stress that they do not recognise that there is a problem. While the original stressor may have diminished, patterns of stressful behaviour can persist causing individuals to adapt to the symptoms and view them as a part of everyday life.”

Stress tears away at every body system, including the brain. It is therefore important to effectively cope with stress today. There are five parts to a comprehensive stressbusting framework: the psychological, the social, the nutritional, the physical and the spiritual.

Build Mind-Strength Stress comes from your thoughts and beliefs about what is going on in your life.

Although your background, upbringing, personality and environment can determine whether a potential stressor has an impact on you, stress is never a given. Things and events do not mean anything until we interpret them. Much of the stress we experience is linked to thoughts that counter the facts of life as they are: “My husband should appreciate me.” “My children should be better behaved.”“I should have that job.”

Life does not have to be free of worries to be gratifying and constructive. Allah I reminds us, “Do people think that they will be left alone on saying ‘We Believe,’ and that they will not be tested?” [Al-Ankabut:2].

You can avoid stress-inducing thought processes by building mind-strength. Mindstrength is the ability to shift out of reactive mode and become fully aware of your situation; it is the ability to experience your emotions while simultaneously recognising that they are only temporary. Building mindstrength involves asking yourself, “What do I feel and why do I feel this way? Do these feelings benefit me, such as through new insights or solutions, or are they completely unwholesome?” Meditation and writing can facilitate this reflective process, but in some cases, professional help is necessary. “When the effects of stress interfere with your ability to carry out activities of daily living or damage your personal relationships, it’s time to seek help,” explains Dr. Hussain.

Talk it Out When personal tactics do not provide relief from stress, friends and family members can bridge the gap by lending an ear or providing encouragement. Research demonstrates that meaningful connections can be healing even when the listener does not offer any significant verbal response.

Knowing that you are not alone and articulating your stressor moves you closer to its resolution. Take the time to revive past and present friendships and to forge new ones. Participating in community events, volunteering your time to a cause, or exploring online social networks are great ways to meet other like-minded Muslimahs.

Food for Thought What we eat impacts how we think, feel, function and cope. Research shows that the body uses nutritional reserves when a person is under stress; protein, B vitamins, vitamin C and vitamin A are often the most

The best among us therefore is the Muslimah who bears her tests and trials with courage and optimism. Indeed there is no shortage of guidance in the Qur’an for managing stress:

“ ” Stress tears away at every body system, including the brain.

depleted. To effectively manage stress, one needs to maintain a diet that includes whole-grain carbohydrate-rich foods, fruits and vegetables, and plenty of water.

“Try to keep to a regular meal pattern,” advises Kalpana Hussain, a community dietician. “This can help satiate hunger levels throughout the day and prevent you from bingeing on high fat and high sugar foods. Also, eat your meals slowly so that you can detect when you are full and stop.

Finally, recognise that having your preferred comfort food will not resolve your stress.

Actively seek out alternative ways to help you cope and manage in the long-term.”

Walk it Off Despite the proven benefits of exercise, many women are resistant to the idea due to time constraints, shame about their bodies or fear of strenuous activity.

Mubarakah Ibrahim, the founder of www.FitMuslimah.com, has heard all the

excuses. “Incorporating exercise into your life is about making it a priority,” she says.

“Once you develop the habit and feel the benefits, it will become part of your lifestyle.”

If motivation is the debilitating factor, Mubarakah recommends having a work out buddy. “Studies show that exercising with a partner increases your consistency and ability to reach your goal.”

The benefits of exercise affect multiple body systems. “I have observed the physical, mental and emotional transformation of many women,” says Mubarakah in reference to her role as a personal trainer. “When my clients work out they get stronger. That strength makes them feel more confident and more in control - not just of their bodies but other aspects of their lives as well.”

Just Breathe There is a right way and a wrong way to breathe. By taking long, deep breaths when you encounter a stressful situation, you

• “O Believers endure hardship with beautiful endurance.” [Al-Ma’arij:5].

• “Allah I shall make ease after hardship” [Al-Talaq:7].

• “On no soul does He place a burden greater than it can bear.” [Al-A’raf:42].

Tahseen Shareef is the founder of New Dimensions Islamic School in California. She says that, “As a Muslim stress is minimised with the belief that everything happens by the will of Allah I. The same Creator who has allowed for each test will be the One who can help us face it.”

The Light at the End of the Tunnel It has been two years since the Sohail family said good-bye to their youngest member.

Saamiya is a college student now and has increased her involvement in the Muslim community. “I have to do something,” she says with conviction. “I have to move forward... but we always remember her.”

We may no longer be able to see Sumbul, but just like her name, meaning root, she continues to support and inspire those she left behind.

Jenna Evans is a doctoral student in Health Services Research at the University of Toronto.

September 2011 SISTERS 23

Family

From husbands to children, from parents to distant relatives, our Family section addresses issues regarding your loved ones: joys, challenges, fears and triumphs.

August 2011 SISTERS 33

Budding Writers Competition:

The Results

Age Group: 5-6 Years Name: Mairaj Fatima Topic: I am thankful to Allah I because...

Position: 1st Place

I am thankful to Allah I because...

I am thankful to Allah I because He made me a Muslim. Also because He made this beautiful world for us with tall trees, huge mountains, flowing streams, chirping birds, colourful flowers and all the people.

Allah I has made my mum and dad who love me and care for me. Allah I gives us food to eat, clothes to wear and home to live in.

Allah I has said in the Qur’an for all of us to be thankful to Him. There are so many Hadith that ask us to be thankful to Allah I at every moment of our life.

Earlier this year, SISTERS Editor and author, Na’ima B. Robert, was asked to adjudicate the Australian Budding Writers Competition.

Here are the wonderful winning entries.

We can thank Allah I by praying five times a day, helping people and giving charity. When we pray we make Allah I happy and Allah I gives us everything we want.

I am thankful to Allah I for making us His best creation.

Na’ima’s Comment: This piece was short but very sweet. The author’s concept of Allah’s gifts and the delicate ways he/she expressed his/her gratitude were heartwarming, masha Allah.

Age Group: 7-9 Years Name: Yusuf Brookman School: Al-Siraat College, Melbourne, Australia Topic: Why is it important to make good friends, what makes someone a good friend?

Position: 1st Place

There are special qualities which make a good friend. They are:

The importance and qualities of a good friend

2. Helping their friend when they

It is very important to have good friends, because they can either help us to get to Jannah, or they can help us to get to Jahannum. Our friends have a strong influence on us, and being around them will affect our connection with Allah. The Prophet Muhammed r said, “A person follows the Deen (way of life) of his close friend; therefore let each of you look carefully at whom he chooses for friends.” [Tirmidhi] So if we want to be good and righteous, and make Allah happy, then we need to be friends with people who are like this.

We should follow the example of our Prophet Muhammed r. When he was sent with the mission to spread Islam, he didn’t do it by himself. Instead, Allah chose companions for him, who stayed with him and carried the message until it was complete. There is a saying of the Prophet: “The example of a good companion in comparison with a bad one is like that of the musk seller and the blacksmith’s bellows (or furnace); from the first you would either buy musk or enjoy it’s good smell while the bellows would either burn your clothes, or you get a bad nasty smell thereof.” [Bukhari]

1. Reminding their friends of Allah,

and the things that make Him happy and angry. In this way, good friends help each other to stay on The Right Path, rather than following the ways of the evil Shaytan. If I were to choose between a friend who reminds me that it is time to pray, and a friend who doesn’t remind me, I would choose the one who says, “Let’s pray now”.

really need something. For example, I might need to borrow my friend’s book if I have lost mine. Also, a good friend is someone who will cheer up their friend when they are upset about something.

3. Not being shy to tell his or her

friends how much they love them for the sake of Allah.

4. Being generous and kind to others.

Islam teaches us to share the things we have, like money or toys.

5. Not telling other people if their

friend has done something bad. We don’t have to ignore it, but we can tell them privately in a nice way, that it’s not good.

6. Staying away from things like jealousy and talking badly about other people. Allah tells us in the Qur’an, that “Friends on that Day will be enemies to one another, except AlMuttaqoon (those who have Taqwa)”, in Surah Az-Zukhruf, Verse 67. This is why it is so important to make good friends, who have the special qualities that Allah loves.

Na’imas Comment: It was the down-to-earth quality of this entry that won me over: the proofs for the importance of good friends were solid, the advice practical. The writing was fluent and the message crystal clear: nice one, masha Allah.

September 2011 SISTERS 27

Age Group: 10-12 years Name: Zakiyyah Usman School: Australian International Academy, Melbourne.

Topic: If you could go back in time and talk to a Sahabah (companion of the Prophet r), who would it be and what would you ask him or her?

Position: First Place

Letter to Khabbab Dear Khabbab Ibn Al-Aratt AssalaamuAlaikum I have come to you for advice. The Muslims around the world especially in Palestine, Egypt, Libya, Oman, Bahrain, Jordan and Tunisia are in great danger. Their governments are not just treating them with disrespect but also torturing and killing innocent people. As an Arab sahabah that came from Najd, the tribe of Banu Tamim, the best sword maker in Mecca who was the main supplier for the Quraish, a slave owned

by Umm Ammaar, you suffered a great deal of torture by her and the Quraish.

After you became a Muslim, they placed burning hot coals on the dessert sand and tied you down on it until the flesh of your back came off. Your owner Umm Ammaar was also one of the main torturers, who used to put burning iron on your head. Surely the Prophet said “No calamity befalls a Muslim but that Allah expiates some of his sins because of it, even if it was a prick of a thorn.”

(Buhkari) You asked the Prophet to ask Allah to make the Quraish stop and the Prophet told you, “not long ago men like you were dragged into a ditch and were split in half using a saw and iron combs were used to rake to split their backs and bones. The Prophet said “you don’t have patience!”

How did you feel when the Prophet told you that you have to be more patient? Why do you think he said that? What did it teach you about yourself?

When umm Ammaar placed burning iron on your head what did you do, how did you cope with the pain, what went through your mind? I was also wondering how long it took your wounds on your head and back to heal? Who took care of you and did you have medicines?

I am interested to know which part or the main things that attracted you to this religion.

I would like to ask for your advice. The reason I have come to you is because I know that you were tortured at the time of the Prophet.

“

You are known to be a sahabah of selfsacrifice and patience. What would you advise the Muslims today in our time. What can they do to be so strong and patient like you?

Allah says “Verily man is in loss, except those who have faith, and do righteous deeds, and recommend one another to truth and recommend one another to patience and constancy.” (103:2-3) Yours Sincerely, Zakiyyah Na’ima’s Comment: Out of the two essays that earned top marks in this category, this essay stood out for me. I loved the letter format, I thought it was very original, and I felt that the author really engaged with the topic. I felt that she had given a lot of thought to the life of Khabbab and that her questions were sparked by a lively intellect and a refreshing curiosity about the thoughts and feelings of this noble sahaba. Kudos, masha Allah!

Age Group: 13-15 years Name: Sumya Rahman School: Malek Fahd Islamic School, Australia Topic: Write about a Muslim today that inspires you. How has he/she impacted your life Position: 1st Place Heads bobbing, colours flashing, an endless stream of mindless buzzing, car horns, bells, cries, footsteps… Our lives are immersed by people – strangers we’ll never remember meeting again, acquaintances we vaguely recall in our distant memories, friends we promise to never forget, family that we fear to lose. Yet of the thousands of persons we smile at, and wave to – how many do we know? How many do we love? How many do we seek to emulate? How many successfully manage to pop the shield of indifference we construct around ourselves like a fragile bubble and inspire us?

Inspiration.

We often cheekily articulate to teachers saying “Ms! We need some inspiration!”

So while searching for this gold mine, we sometimes look beyond the horizon, and are prone to neglect that which is apparent.

Inspiration, though, is dwelling within the hearts of each person, like a burning flame – in people’s smiles, their trials, their struggle and hardship, their love, their dreams.

I see my inspiration every day – making it so much easier to stay inspired, Alhamdulillah.

My brother. Don’t laugh – we have had the sibling rivalry, and we have experienced the incessant bickering, pushing and fighting.

But along the way, we have matured and mapped out the path we seek to travel upon in the journey of this life, because verily we must “Live this life as a wayfarer only journeying by,” as said by the Prophet r, and our goal isn’t this dunya – it’s the one that’s certainly after it. This realisation only dawned on me because of my brother’s determination and zeal.

You see, by year ten, my brother had changed – his iman now so much stronger, like a burning beacon constantly emitting flashes of light, I was momentarily blinded.

But just as sudden light blinds you temporary, it also throws back the shadows and illuminates that which was hidden.

With his transformation, my brother was ready to give up this world in search for the next. Half a year was spent convincing my parents to allow him to leave school in order to memorise the Qur’an.

Half a year was spent with perpetual disagreements and sleepless nights.

Half a year was spent until he finally convinced my parents to grant him permission to leave school and start hifdh.

Despite the hardship of leaving home for the first time and the anxiety at causing the displeasure of his parents – because Allah says “And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents, whether one or both of them attain old age in your life. Say not to them a word of disrespect, nor repel them, instead, lower to them your wing of humility and say ‘O Lord, bestow upon them your mercy as they did when they brought me up when I was young.” [17:23], my brother was also aware of the importance of the Qur’an.

And in his actions, I leant that, indeed, this world is nothing. In the sight of Allah, this world is not even worth the wing of a mosquito, as narrated in a hadith! The bright colours alluring us and the materialistic desires bombarding us from myriad of direction often blind us, and they cloak us in desperate darkness without even conscience realisation. How can we become scholars of Science and Maths when we don’t even know the fundamentals of Islam?! How will we answer to Allah on the Day of Judgement when He ask us why we were ignorant of the deen, while He clearly commanded us to seek knowledge as proved by the Hadith: “Knowledge is obligatory on every Muslim, male or female.”

My brother’s “change” was what opened my eyes to the next world – he was the first piece putting everything in motion. He popped my bubble and managed to inspire me. And every day I am grateful to Allah for it because otherwise, I’d be contently wandering in this world, deluded by its false harmony.

...her questions were sparked by a

”

lively intellect and a refreshing curiosity about the thoughts and feelings of this noble sahaba.

September 2011 SISTERS 28

What made you stick to Islam even though you were tortured so severely? What kept you going especially after being told by the Prophet that people before you were tortured more than you and that you are very quick to complain even though your pain and suffering was so severe?

Na’ima’s Comment: I was extremely impressed by this entry.

This writer displayed thoughtfulness and intelligence while exploring the subject of her brother’s spiritual transformation and the effect it had on her and the rest of the family.

The writing style was fresh and original, displaying maturity of thought and very effective use of metaphor and simile. I was truly captivated by this one!

September 2011 SISTERS 29

Age Group: 16-18yrs Name: Omar Haniffa School: Minaret College, Australia.

Topic: Write about a great leader in Islamic History.

Specify the qualities and contributions that made them great. How can you apply these things in your life and community?

Position: 1st Place

His Legacy, The Prophecy.

We all leave our footprints in the sands of time. Some people call this their legacy, their gift for those who follow them.

There is one, one that stands above the rest. This one shows the way to eternal happiness. Its road is simple, its way is straight, yet many choose not to trek its path.

That legacy, that path belongs to none other than the greatest man who ever lived, Muhammad bin Abdullah bin AbdulMuttalib r.

Tranquillity was his garment, devotion his motto, piety his conscience, wisdom his speech, truthfulness his nature, goodness his character, justice his conduct, Shari’a his law, Islam his nation and Ahmad r his name. Such was the greatest leader to set foot on this earth, not just in Islamic history but throughout the generations of humanity.

Famous French historian and philosopher, Alphonse de Lamartine says about this blessed man, “If greatness of purpose, smallness of means, and astounding results are the true criteria of human genius, who would dare to compare any great man in modern history with Muhammad r?¹” For the so-called greatest men have only formed material effects, whether that be

September 2011 SISTERS 30

arms, legislations, inventions or empires that crumble “away before their very eyes¹”.

This man however, brought together a nation, not bound by the colour of skin, nor culture or heritage. He formed a nation that could look beyond the ephemeral, a nation connected by their hearts, a nation of creed that held high the resounding cry, “There is no God but Allah.”

Now, this spiritual nationality encompasses at least one third of the earth. All due to the efforts of an illiterate man with a book, born an orphan and raised in the deserts of Arabia amongst a people who knew little else outside the dominion of carnal desire.

Superscript: 1: Alphonse de Lamartine, ‘Histoire de la Turquie’, Paris, 1854.

2: Muslim Na’ima’s Comment: This evocative piece of prose was almost like a poem - and portrayed the knowledge and love that the young writer has for our Propher Muhammad r. His use of secondary sources is also commendable and is skilfully woven into the narrative. The question at the end of the piece is the clincher. An excellent piece, masha Allah.

His character was that of perfection and in him is a “perfect example for those who hope for Allah” [33:21]. No matter what trouble he faced, he showed patience. He was a man who lived in the presence of The Divine. He would not speak, except his words were inspired by higher Reality, “he does not speak from his own whims and wishes” [53:3]. He was a man sent as a leader to all humanity; yet walked, sat and talked amongst his brethren as naught save their servant, and their guide – to Reality. When given the keys to the kingdom, when the world was set to lie at his feet, he turned away, focussing his attention to none other than His Lord - indeed a great lesson for us all.

The methodology of Muhammad r was love. Was he not sent as, “the mercy to all humanity2”? His creed teaches us to seek true love in the Creator of Love. He showed love to those around him and he hated all that which stood against love. And what is love, except the attraction towards perfection, measured by the sacrifices we make to attain to that which is perfect?

Who can claim to be more perfect than Perfection Himself?

“Philosopher, orator, apostle, legislator, warrior, and the founder of twenty terrestrial empires and of one spiritual empire”¹, that is Muhammad r. The legacy Muhammad r left behind: to divorce any attachments to this temporal realm and to love Allah above all else, not just with words but in action. That was the legacy his Companions followed. That was the legacy he left for us.

Not just a legacy, a prophecy. A prophecy, whose duty it is for the Muslim community to fulfil... What role will you play?

n

Order ‘From My Sisters’ Lips’ by Na’ima B. Robert for just £8.99 including p&p n Order online: www.sisters-magazine.com n Order by phone: 0208 150 3117 For more information, visit www.sisters-magazine.com

Towards Holistic Islamic Education

Islamic Shakhsiyah Foundation (ISF) is a pioneering school for primary aged children. In following a philosophy of creating a close nurturing bond between the child and the teacher, ISF displays a unique approach to teaching Islam. Aliza Qureshi, who attended ISF herself, meets the sisters at ISF to find out more.

Meet Farah Ahmed - ISF’s head teacher

AQ: When did ISF begin?

FA: ISF started small with just a few home-schooling mothers and a group of five children in 1998. Over time the number of children increased and more than one group was running, but we were all working closely together. Eventually we merged the groups from north and west London as well as Slough and in 2002, we registered officially as two schools.

AQ: What is the school’s ethos?

FA: Shakhsiyah sustains an Islamic ethos and is based on a holistic approach. We believe that the teacher-learner relationship is most important and encourage a close bond between our teachers and children.

AQ: What do you mean by a holistic Islamic education?

FA: At Shakhsiyah we teach the kids in every possible way that Islam and life are not separate. There is no distinction between Islamic and secular education, so they know that all education is Islamic and from Allah I. The children are taught to think about, discuss Islam and practise it in their lives.

AQ: Tell us about the Shakhsiyah framework..

FA: The teachers at ISF have worked over ten years to create The Shakhsiyah Framework which comprises of seven parts. The elements are: human scale school, the daily halaqah, integrated creative curriculum, a bilingual school, the Muslim teacher, a love for learning and assessment for the learner. By following this framework we focus on creating strong Islamic personalities who can take on the challenges faced by Muslims in the twenty-first century.

AQ: The description of ISF as a human-scale school - what does that mean?

FA: Many schools function like factories where it seems the children are on conveyor belts. This isn’t conducive to learning and in state schools, it is easier for children to fall out of the system. But in a human-scale school, the school is structured like a community and each child is valued. This is reinforced by classes of 15 children or less and only one class per year.

AQ: What curriculum do you follow at ISF? FA: Our curriculum is centred around a halaqah model, as this

September 2011 SISTERS 32

enables us to develop strong Shakhsiyah (personality) in the children.

Islam is not taught through text books, it has to have context. For our children, it has to relate to who they are, what is going on in the world around them and to help them learn how to bring Islam into their lives. With state education, the focus is solely based on attainment targets. At Shakhsiyah, our daily structure enables us to build an Islamic personality within the child. It serves as a framework to bring the Islamic curriculum into the whole school day.

AQ: How does halaqah benefit the children?

FA: The halaqah develops thinking skills, expression through talking and listening and it helps them to learn how to have effective dialogue with peers as well as adults. In addition, it creates spiritual development by teaching them to focus and guide their nafs (desires). Through the discussion we teach them all aspects of Islam, Islamic behaviour and mannerisms. The halaqah also enables ISF children to develop a confident personality, as it allows them to express themselves. According to educational research on cultural coherence: education should be coherent, when a child’s own culture is reflected and celebrated, they go on to be successful at the academic level and it stops them from having a fragmented personality, which so many children suffer from today.

AQ: How do you ensure that the ISF children are able to integrate with non-Muslims when they are older?

FA: We take our children on regular educational visits and we invite non-Muslim visitors into the school. We work really hard to establish a good relationship with the local community by arranging visits from dentists to police officers, and by working closely with local state schools. It can be a challenge for children to leave the safety of an Islamic school to more diverse settings, and by sending children to ISF they are protected during their foundation and more fragile years. They leave as very confident young adults who are proud of their identity. We have had excellent feedback from the secondary schools our children attend.

AQ: What does your teacher training programme involve and how does it help to create effective teachers?

FA: Our teachers are not necessarily trained teachers; instead we provide in house training as our programme is unique. We offer an ITEC (Islamic Teacher Education Course) and we have had other schools approaching us for this teachers training course. ITEC is

“

The halaqah develops thinking skills,

”

expression through talking and listening and it helps them to learn how to have effective dialogue with peers as well as adults.

taught at the philosophical and pedagogical level. The course ensures that Muslim teachers teach Islam effectively and develop an understanding of Islamic pedagogy. At Shakhsiyah we have not simply adopted the state school system and added Islamic studies, we have tried to develop an Islamic school for twenty-first century Britain which is based on Islamic educational principles. When Islam is taught separately to the other subjects by a different teacher, what message are you sending out to the child? It is important that the children’s main teacher is an Islamic role-model for them. At Shakhsiyah we teach Islam across the curriculum, so that children learn that Islam is part of their daily lives and not compartmentalised.

Also, a good teacher is one who is committed to Islam and education, these two are the core things and the rest will develop.

At ISF, teachers and students have a lot of support and advice given all the time. I find the atmosphere very positive as there is such a strong sense of sisterhood. You learn to become a really good role model to the children and you are taught to be a role model in and out of school.

Meet Halima - an early years teacher at ISF

AQ: What is the most valuable thing you have learned at ISF? H: One of the most important things I have learned is about being honest with the kids so we abide by what we say instead of pretending to know it all. I remember being at school and teachers saying things like: “I have got eyes at the back of my head”, we always tell the kids when we are unsure of a matter to emphasise that only Allah I knows everything.

AQ: How has ISF shaped your teaching?

H: ISF has shaped me as a Muslimah as well as a teacher. The ITEC teaches us to take control over our nafs and helps to create strong and confident Muslim women who can develop an excellent Islamic character within Muslim children. The halaqah is mandatory to our teaching, it is a child-centred curriculum and the topics include: adab (good manners), hygiene, how to dress well etc. We do not spoon feed the children; it is the children who choose their learning. The Muslim is a thinking person, so by encouraging the child to think for themselves it gives them confidence.

AQ: What differences have you experienced between teaching at ISF and teaching at another school?

H: What the children learn at ISF nursery is taught at reception in other schools. ISF children are at least a year ahead of their peers.

AQ: How important is the role of the teacher in the child’s life?

H: The fact that children sometimes call a teacher mum tells us how vital our role is, we are accountable for the child during the school day. A child is born pure and as a teacher you are a second parent.

A teacher is a role model in a child’s life. Children leave ISF ready to tackle the world. We don’t drill Islam; our aim is to create the love of Allah I and His creation in the hearts of the children.

Visit the school’s website for more information: http://www.isfnet.org.uk/ Aliza Qureshi is a full time secondary school English teacher at an outstanding school and a freelance writer. She is fortunate enough to have her two beautiful boys attending ISF school which is a home away from home for them, a place where their shakhsiya has been developing in the best of ways alhamdullilah.

September 2011 SISTERS 33

FO CU S AT IO N ED UC

Part 5

For the Love of Learning:

Living it

Juli Herman discusses Live Learning – using every experience as an opening into a world of joyous learning.

“J

ust give me anything,” my oldest daughter said, when I kept asking her about how she wants to approach her high school curriculum. I was fishing for her interests and trying to customise her high school syllabus, but she seemed overwhelmed by the whole process. So I gave her the traditional curriculum. She started doing it and had no complaints whatsoever. But when I asked her what she had learned, she replied, “I don’t know.”

I was devastated. I believe this to be the result of our early years of homeschooling where due to the inflexibility of the virtual school system in which we were supposed to report to assigned teachers, we were more bent on completing the assigned syllabus, cramming in information, rather than enjoying the process.

Meanwhile, the Libyan brothers and sisters in our locality were undergoing emotional distress over what is happening in their country. One day, my son came home and said about his hifdh teacher, “Ibrahim looks sad today.”

When reciting the Qur’an, you can go over the translation and start a session of reflection with your children. Go deeper into the story of companions of the cave. Ask them if they would do what the youth did if they faced a situation where they would be persecuted for their beliefs. It would make an interesting discussion. Expose them to different cultural experiences. Go beyond the obvious and ask them to observe for example, the similarities and differences in certain food items of different cultures. Pasties are the English version of the Malaysian Curry Puff and the Mexican Empanadas. Read historical fiction together and let this spark an interest into delving more into the historical setting of the story. The point is to keep the innate love of learning in your children alive by piquing their natural curiosity through a lifestyle of active observation, discussion and reflection.

Learning is meaningful when it has a purpose in context. So enrich your child’s world by connecting him to the stimulus around him through your own verbal mulling, natural enthusiasm and invitation to explore.

Individuality

We also kept up with the news on the internet. Before long, my daughter began to take an interest in the news, including the niqab ban in France. Suddenly, it occurred to me. “How would you like watching documentaries instead of going through the history syllabus?” So now, instead of her doing her history lesson textbookstyle, she watches the documentaries online. At one point, she said to me, “I love history now.” With an eye roll, she added, “I can’t believe I just said that.” Apparently her interest in history grew through our discussion of world affairs especially since it was very much in context with our situation then.

While you may get all excited over a museum visit, your child may not. Respect this difference and tune in to his individual interests.

Follow his lead and encourage him in this exploration, even if you are inept in it. In fact, take sincere interest in his interest and support him in it. You may see him browsing through programming books despite his young age. Try to hook him up with an adult or teen expert, or classes, even organisations to give him that opportunity to explore that particular interest. As an adult, you have the network and means to resources that your child may not have access to. It’s your job to provide him with these opportunities in supporting his individual interest.

In real life, literacy, writing, math, arts, science, history and geography occur together, often without a clear distinction from one another. Living a life of learning requires us to be aware of learning opportunities around us and utilise them. But first of all, we have to be sincerely interested in looking at things as learning opportunities. Look for opportunities to tie the disparate subjects taught in schools together. Street names can spark a discussion on how the streets came to be named that way, or how the road system in your area has evolved throughout the years. Billboards can spark discussions on advertising techniques that can then be tied to the techniques Shaytaan uses to trick us into disobeying Allah I.

However, interests have their own life spans. Don’t be surprised if your child is engrossed in rocketry for only a week. While you may have gone through a lot of trouble finding resources for your child for his current interest, he may only wish to pursue it for a week.

Don’t reprimand him. However, if it involves paying for a class, or any such commitments that involve other people, make it a point from the beginning to make this clear to your child. Tell him that he has to decide to make a commitment. Give him an option to bail out after a certain set period of commitment, so he won’t feel locked in from the very beginning. For example, instead of signing him up for ceramics class for a whole semester, agree to let him try it for the

September 2011 SISTERS 34

“

”

Encourage them to think big,

and dream up something big, outside of the scope of what school covers.

shortest time span allowed by the class, so he can decide whether to continue or not after that time period. This way, he will feel more at ease committing to something rather than avoiding commitment for fear of being locked in.

In terms of school performance, your child may be having trouble in some subjects. He may be a late bloomer. Assuming that you are already taking it easy with grades, assure him that he’s not behind or dumber than the other children. Expose him to the knowledge of different learning styles, individual strengths, multiple intelligences and individual paces of learning. Make him understand that he is in control of his own learning by learning to know himself well.

Hopefully, this will protect his love of learning, while also teaching him the reality of life - that sometimes, you have to do what you find hard to do. Not everything will be easy and 100% enjoyable.

We want our children to know how to think instead of just what to think. Let them know that sometimes, there is no one right answer.

Encourage them to think big and dream up something big, outside of the scope of what school covers. Don’t belittle any of their ideas.

Spend time on these ideas even if it means they won’t be taking

extra academic classes just so they could get great grades. It’s these seemingly insignificant ‘explorations’ that usually have the most impact in childhood that lead to specialised pursuit of an area in adulthood. Deprive them of this, and you have deprived them of nurturing their individual strengths. Show them the different models of successes that are not just limited to academics. Make them aware of their innate strengths and how they can be applied in the real world.

Living a learning lifestyle comes automatically when the love of learning is alive and kicking in the inner depths of our souls. When parents have this outlook, it naturally carries over to their interaction with their children and thus the learning lifestyle is passed to the next generation. So, embrace it and pass it on!

Juli Herman remembers thinking, ‘Now I can read whatever I want!’ the moment she rushed home to her two babies after being done with final exams in her final semester in college. From that moment on, she has embarked on a journey of rediscovering her love of learning, and by Allah’s mercy, she believes she has found it.

September 2011 SISTERS 35

PGA

!

Parental guidance advised

In each issue, SISTERS marriage coach, Megan Wyatt, advises on affairs of the heart. This month, she offers advice on dealing with insecurities and shares ways demonstrating how to respect one’s spouse.

I’ve been married for nine years and I’m having a huge problem trusting my husband because I assume he is having an affair with almost every woman! I feel like I am going

I’m

curious to know if this insecurity has existed throughout your entire marriage, or if this is something that has become a problem more recently. If you have a loving committed husband who honours and loves you, then it’s time you do some work to understand where your insecurity is stemming from. If you fear that every woman out there is a threat to you, or that your husband would leave you for the next woman who smiled at him, then this may be a symptom of low self-esteem, and an inner belief of unworthiness.

Rather than knowing you are a woman deserving of the love and commitment of your husband, you are constantly testing

September 2011 SISTERS 36

crazy, and the worst part is that he is starting to threaten me with having an affair. Also he never goes out at all with friends and he always comes home on time from work.

him to prove that you are enough. One way of testing him, is by forcing him to prove over and over again through endless arguments and accusations that he is not interested in other women, why he would choose you over them, and to get involved in this emotionally manipulating obstacle course you expect him to go through. No wonder he is threatening at this point to have an affair! I don’t believe it’s because he really wants one at all, nor do I condone his empty threats. He is just sick and tired of being told he must be a cheating, lying and dishonest man who doesn’t fear Allah I, that the temptation to put an end to the argument by BECOMING that man is screaming loudly in his ear.

The solution is not your husband suffering from your endless fears and tests, but

My insecurities are causing major problems in my marriage. Please advise as I am now desperate! I don’t have any other problems with my husband.

rather for you to do your own personal work in understanding your fears of being abandoned, fears of not being good enough and your inability to believe you are worthy of being loved.

In order to save your marriage, and the quality of your relationship, I hope you will get healing support for your jealousy and insecurity. I also recommend you apologise to your husband for blaming him, and admit that this is a problem with you, and that you need his love and support to figure out what is going on. Insha Allah, this way you can heal not just your marriage, but the spiritual wound in your heart that ultimately is afraid of what Allah I will bring you in your life, and whether or not you are able to handle it.

I constantly hear, “Men need respect, women need love”. But no one ever explains how to demonstrate that respect! What is respect’s manifestation when it comes to hubbies? If your answer had specifics, not generalities, that would be very awesome.

T

he fastest way to answer this question is to have you and your husband answer it! What has to happen for your husband to feel respected, and equally as important, what has to happen for him to feel disrespected by you? What has to happen for you to feel loved, and what happens that makes you feel he isn’t being loving?

I find it interesting that so many people are trying to go through marriage nearly blindfolded, when the answers are only a question or two away! (And thank you for seeking to remove that blindfold by sending in this very question, masha Allah.)

To offer some examples which are a bit “classic” I would offer the following:

1. Your husband feels respected when you thank him and appreciate him regularly for his contributions to you and the family as

a whole. Paying attention to the tiny things really adds up too. “Thanks honey for taking out the trash.”

2. Your husband feels disrespected when

you blame him for what is not going right at home or in your marriage. “You never come home from work on time and help out, and then you want to go the masjid for prayers, leaving me with no break from the kids! I’m sick and tired of you making everyone else and everything else a priority and not me!”

3. Your husband feels respected when

you practice my Fearless Vulnerability© principle, which is to speak sincerely and openly about what you truly need. “I miss you, and want to spend more time with you in the evenings.” Or, “I feel overwhelmed by the kids this week.” In these cases, you are giving him room to create a solution to make you happy.

4. You listen. Your husband feels respected

when you listen to him while being focused.

This gives you a chance to admire the fact that he is sharing his world, dreams, passions, fears, or concerns with you.

Women are often “too busy” with the kids to even ask their husbands about their day, let alone listen, but listening is essential.

(The root of most affairs for a man is a desire to be heard, admired, appreciated, and desired.) In fact, being a good listener is a quality our beloved Prophet Muhammad r

mastered and is a sign of maturity and good character in any Muslim.

For a woman, I will suggest you take sometime to complete the following sentences, and see what you discover for yourself.

“I feel my husband loves me the most when...”

“I know my husband loves me when he has... “ “I experience deep happiness and gratitude when my husband …”

“I feel unloved when my husband...”

By focusing on yourself, you not only get the answers that are important to your own marriage, but it also gives you a chance to share these things with him by using the Fearless Vulnerability© principle of expressing what you love and miss, without blaming or criticising.

For more concrete examples of how to do this, please visit my website www. askmeganwyatt.com where you can also watch my training video called “Becoming a Marriage Fortress Builder,” which incorporates these concepts in a way that will allow you to end argumentative cycles, and get more of what you want in your marriage, which is for him to feel admired and respected, and for you to be adored and loved, insha Allah.

Do you have a question for Sister Megan? Visit www.askmeganwyatt.com to ask your question anonymously and look out for it in a future issue of SISTERS.

September 2011 SISTERS 37

The

princess diaries A Muslim Girl’s Guide to Love, Laughter, & Life

Umm Khadijah and Safiyyah Vanker discuss dealing with tests life tosses your way.

Down in the Dumps Being a young Muslimah is a real challenge, and some days it’s so tough it can really make you feel down. Everyone has days when they’re feeling blue, but some of us find life to be so overwhelming that we have a black cloud hovering around us for days on end. In some serious cases, it can last for weeks or months. This is what we call depression.

Depression is basically defined as having extremely negative feelings about yourself or your life, such as feeling hopeless and unable to control anything, and often coupled with a lack of energy or ability to concentrate on and enjoy life.

Many, many young girls suffer from depression of some sort, ranging from mild to extremely serious. There are many reasons regarding why we feel bad: rage, unbalanced hormones, low self-esteem, problems at school or at home and identity issues are just a few causes of teen depression. Some of us may be struggling with more serious issues, such as physical or emotional trauma, or even mental health issues.

Although being a young Muslimah can be extremely difficult, and depression just makes it harder, we shouldn’t feel that there is no hope – alhamdulillah, there are lots of solutions and ways to overcome the tests of life.

Turn to Allah I and Strengthen Your Faith First and foremost, before anything else, we should always turn to Allah I the moment we feel down in the dumps. By trusting in Allah I and asking Him for help, we are showing how much we love Him and truly believe in Him. Allah I is al-Qareeb, the Most Near to us; He is al-Mujeeb, the Most Responsive (to our prayers); and He is al-Qaadir, the Most Able. Knowing these qualities of Allah I strengthens our faith in Him, as we will realise that He’s always there for us in our difficulties and will definitely make things easy for us. Remembering Allah I in our thoughts, words and actions are means of driving Shaytaan away and it helps us maintain a positive outlook on life.

Identify the Problem What’s causing your depression? Is it peer pressure at school? Family problems? Does depression run in your family? Do some research about causes of depression and definitely consult with a doctor if you feel that your depression has some deep-seated roots. Situational depression can insha Allah be overcome with some effort, but clinical depression may need medical intervention and aid.

Have A Support System

After depending on Allah I first, it’s important for us to have other people we

can turn to for a supporting shoulder. A parent, older sibling, close aunt, best friend, or a knowledgeable sister at the Masjid are all examples of those whom you should trust enough to confide in and who will support you. In addition, if you feel that your friends or family can’t understand what you’re going through, you should never feel ashamed to seek professional counselling.

Always remember that you should turn to someone with a strong grounding in Islam, because they’ll be the ones who will encourage you to do what’s best for your situation, as well as help you increase in your faith.

Maintain a Healthy Lifestyle It’s surprising how many times we may think that nothing can make us feel better, but the truth is that just going out for some fresh air can lift our spirits dramatically!

Make sure you eat well and healthily – don’t depend on junk food, as all the sugars, chemicals and hormones in many snacks can adversely affect your health. Exercise regularly, even if it means just taking a walk or going jogging for a short time every day.

No matter what difficulties we may be facing, Allah I is always with us and will never burden us with more than we can bear. As a Muslim princess, I know you’re brave enough to face your challenges and win!

UmmKhadijah (AnonyMouse) and Safiyyah Vanker (UmmAnonyMouse) are an incorrigible, irrepressible mother-daughter duo who have a great deal of experience being, and raising, teenage Muslimahs September 2011 SISTERS 39

Confessions of a Wannabe Matriarch

World

Saadia Qureshi makes it to the wedding – in one piece.

O

kay so I always like to hear the bad news first, this way I have something to look forward to.

Getting in shape is a %^$£$!

Getting in shape after 10 years of midnight trifle runs and endless bars of ‘Green & Blacks’ is a £$!%@. My children were forced to watch as I was two sit-ups away from a Myocardial Infarction. Agreed, not my finest hour. I sweat more than a construction worker on a UAE construction site. And to those in the know, that’s a lot of sudor! I Zumba’ed myself something chronic, my living room has never looked the same since. I interval trained like an athlete. Okay, tiny exaggeration, I did a couple of sessions on a treadmill and pressing the emergency stop button was the interval part. By my own admission I worked pretty darn hard. And yes I lost a fair bit of weight. But that was not my only problem…

I had to sort the mug out. So Instead of starting a sensible skin care routine, by drinking plenty of water and eating a load of fruit and veg; the quick fix queen needed, well, a quick fix. I spent stupid money. I bought many concoctions that claimed to do all sorts of unrealistic things. There was the vial that purported to regenerate and restore - still waiting. Then there was the elixir of youth promising to make me 10 years younger, to perfect and illuminate.

Nope, still turning 33 this August, not perfect and still in the dark about most things. There was only one thing left to do, call in the big guns. Creme de la mer baby - all the way! You guessed it, the Vulcan stepped in.

September 2011 SISTERS 40

“Put the iPad down. There’s a good girl, easy does it. Now my darling just hand me the plastic and we can forget this ever happened.”

“But you don’t understand. If I have this cream all my problems will go away… poof!

And I’ll be beautiful like, like, Eva Mendez or…”

“SAADIA!” “Alright, alright!”

spent most of the night starving due to the constrictive nature of my apparel. As well as being the embarrassing aunt, I was one of the official photographers. I was forced to stand in what can only be described as every podiatrist’s nemesis – five inch heels.

I walked like I had a something stuck in my rear. And if I was really lucky I managed to get a reprieve by falling and making it look as though I was looking for a contact lens.

It turns out, that the eventual removal of ones barbigerous tash gives ones frontage a new lease of life. And a cut and blow-dry can knock years off. The fabulous thing was that I didn’t have to spend the best part of a months rent on it either. Hooray! Anything to say Spock? Nah, didn’t think so!

Lessons learned

It turned out I scrubbed up pretty well.

As for the dress, did y’all really think I was going to fit into a 10? Well you were all right. I didn’t. I secured the services of a talented seamstress. She enabled me to get the blasted thing on without busting the zip. However, my breathing in the dress was similar to the short pants during the second phase of labour. This wasn’t helped by the fact that in a fit of absolute lunacy I purchased a pair of five inch Carvela heels.

D-Day The war paint was applied, the hair was poofed, the dress went on, (there may have been some talc used) and then came the shoes. Aesthetically I was in fact one of the belle’s of the ball, Spock’s reaction proved that. However, maintaining the look all evening was something else. I

1. You can’t blame your children and husband for everything. Take responsibility for your own demise.

2. There are no miracle cures to ageing, just be dignified.

3. Be realistic. If you are size 14 buying a size 10 dress is borderline insanity. Unless of course your plastic surgery is imminent.

4. Foliage must be dealt with. It makes such a difference.

5. The procurement of ridiculously highheeled shoes is, well, ridiculous; if, for the last 10 years you have donned flats.

Finally…

Change instigated by one’s self is the most gratifying of all. Alhamduillah.

Saadia Qureshi is a mother of four living in the UK. She is a co-founder - along with Cindy Yasmina Aziz - of the blog Baligh.org. The aim of this blog is to reach the ummah through their own life experiences, warts and all and raise awareness about accountability to Allah I. All through the written word. Fisabilillah.

Our World section links you to your sisters around the world and inspires you to connect positively with world issues.

August 2011 SISTERS 41

A grassroots movement: Noor-Ul-Islam Youth Mashaal Mir chats to Shamaila Hussain about inspiring and engaging the youth in our communities.

“Truly, God does not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.” [Al-Ra’ad:31] Probably one of the most powerful messages from the Qur’an, the beautiful verse reminds us that that we cannot sit and wait for change to happen; we must be the change.

It is this philosophy which has inspired the beginning of Noor-UlIslam Youth; a volunteer based organisation in East London, UK, aiming to provide extra-curricular services and activities for young Muslims, girls and boys alike.

The youth group was brought to life when a group of Muslims, unhappy and dissatisfied with the lack of activities for young members in their community, approached the local mosque. They requested permission to set up a youth club where young Muslims could have fun, be social and engage in activities in a safe and Islamic environment.

The mosque granted permission and the youth club was officially launched in 2008. Within a span of three years, the group grew from having a couple of activities, to fully providing services.

Sports for boy and girls While participation in sports is rarely an issue for boys, it still remains a common concern for many Muslim girls. Whether it is for religious reasons, cultural reasons or simply self-consciousness, many girls often find themselves excluded from sports and other physical wellbeing activities. But Noor-Ul-Islam Youth opens the doors for girls to feel comfortable and be active without any concerns. The youth club offers a range of only-girl sports such as basketball, tennis and badminton. The youth club has also recently decided to offer kickboxing for the more martial-arts savvy girls.

With her black headscarf neatly covering her hair and a voice softer than honey in warm milk, Shamaila Hussain, the youth work leader for girls at the group, tells me that Noor-Ul-Islam Youth is an organic,

September 2011 SISTERS 42

grassroots group fuelled by the demand from young Muslims in the community. She says that many of the girls are shy when they first join the youth club, but don’t take long to become fully active and engaged.

“When the girls first come in, they are very shy and very hesitant to try out sports for many reasons,” she says. “But they start learning, coming together and being more confident in themselves. Now, they are all enthusiastic and are always looking forward to the games”.

A safe haven for building character and confidence Indeed, the sport activities primary goal is not only to get Muslim girls (and boys) active, but also to help them come out of their shells.

“We can see them become more confident in front of our very own eyes,” says Shamaila. “That’s why we also run team-building exercises and workshops. The activities we do are all focused on how to build the youth’s self-esteem and make them more confident in themselves, as individuals and as Muslims.”

The youth group tries to act as more than just a temporary hanging out place. Shamaila told me how the group aims to build a strong relationship with the youth, providing counselling for young Muslims for any issues or problems they may have.

According to Shamaila, many of the concerns often trace back to sex, bullying, the dilemma of ‘fitting in’ and especially being confused about the hijab.

“Girls come to us with normal teenage problems, stuff to do with parents, boys and fashion,” she says. “These girls feel guilty over having these feelings and we tell them, ‘we’re not here to judge you’

“

We want to make the youth

”

appreciate their religion and have them be actual positive Muslims in their own community.

and that it’s okay to have these feelings, the emotions are normal. It’s all down to how you deal with them, so we give them help, support and positive advice.”

Not for the money, but for the cause “We never take money for what we do”, says Shamaila. “It’s all run by volunteers. Twelve volunteers to be exact; six brothers and six sisters.”

It is a heavy burden on only twelve volunteers who also have jobs and studies to take care of, and Shamaila admits that it’s hard work.

But she says the reward for the hard work is in the positive feedback.

“When girls say that we have had a positive effect on them, or if parents tell us that they have seen a positive change in their daughter, it makes all the hard work worthwhile. It also gives a sense of gratitude that you are doing something for the sake of Allah I.” The youth club is funded by donors and has managed to find sponsors so young Muslims don’t have to pay the full price of joining a sport. The money is used to hire sport halls and equipments.

Despite the workload and the restricted amount of funds, she believes that the youth group has been lucky and blessed. “If you are sincere in what you do, then inshaAllah, Allah I will bring the means to you,” she says confidently. “I am positive in that belief.”

It’s not only an organisation, it’s a movement Shamaila believes that the message of Noor-Ul-Islam Youth is clear: the youth is important because the youth is the next generation.

“We cannot ignore the youth, they have valuable contributions.

Mosques and community centres need to recognise what the youth is going to contribute to,” says Shamaila. “It’s also to teach the youth that Islam is not only ritualistic. It’s not just about praying or about

going to the mosque. It’s a way of life and you can have fun. You can do sports. We need to encourage the youth to see Islam in a positive light and not as a burden, as it is often put out to be.”

Before our interview ends, Shamaila says something that not only strikes me, but also sums up Noor-Ul-Islam Youth brilliantly: “We want to make the youth appreciate their religion and have them be actual positive Muslims in their own community.”

As I pack my things to leave, I cannot help but smile. It is efforts like those of Shamaila and the rest of Noor-Ul-Islam Youth that make all the difference. These efforts often go unnoticed, ignored and are underestimated in the eyes of humans. But Noor-Ul-Islam is a powerful driving force that is encouraging young Muslims to be the best versions of themselves and to inspire other Muslims to be so as well. And that is where real change begins.

Mashaal Mir is a Danish-Pakistani second year BA Journalism with Politics student at Kingston University London. She enjoys heated debates, dry humour and good food. You can follow her on Twitter at www.twitter.com/mamashaal or visit her website at www.mashaalmir. com

September 2011 SISTERS 43

SI STE RSRE A D S Umm Zakariyya reviews Onion Tears by Shubnum Khan

O

ften, as I sat down to reach for my copy of Onion Tears, I would find that it wasn’t there. Sure enough, my thirteen year old son had taken it to his room, and I would invariably find him with it or find it beneath his bed. As is often the case when there is a great novel in the house, he and I both have to share.

As Shubnum Khan spins a story of three generations of women, she also spins the threads of a history that spans the early Indian migrants to South Africa, living under Apartheid’s restraints and then of finding your place in a post-Apartheid society. She intertwines the story of Khadeejah Bibi Ballim, her daughter Summaya and granddaughter Aneesa, with issues of identity, opportunity, duty and learning about those you love.

‘What do you think of the characters?” I asked my son.

“Very real,” was his reply. “Typical of South African Indian Muslim women.”

September 2011 SISTERS 44

That’s what I saw too. At first. Initially, I bristled at the depiction of what I thought was a clichéd portrayal of Indian Muslim South African women. Khadeeja Bibi Ballim seems much the same as many aunties I have met in her age group; the kind of woman who would judge your worth by whether your rotis were round and rose in the centre; who have rigid rules that they follow which this book calls ‘The Ways’ of life ...

But as I got tangled in the story - finding my own thoughts painted by the poignant descriptions of time, place, tastes and emotions that Khan does so well - I found myself bonding with Khadeejah, wishing that I too could secure an invitation to her lunch table.

No matter how judgmental her character may seem, this is a woman from a generation that saw people of hardier stock than my own generation may ever aspire to. Living under an Apartheid system that offered a limited education and a cultural system that judged women by the roundness of their rotis, these were

women who took the only skills they knew and turned them into financial enterprises. That many of my generation, like Sumayya her daughter, were able to get an education, was because there were women like Khadeejah who had the vision to think that their daughters could be doctors if they wanted to, who were willing to work to create the opportunities where few existed.

“How much do people change when faced with adversity?” Khan asks in this book. When there is no way out but up, they grow.

I don’t think my son was old enough yet to grasp the depth of the history that Onion Tears holds. This is a book I hope that he revisits in years to come. There is a Khadeejah Bibi Ballim in every family that I know. Theirs are stories that must be heard. These are stories that must be told. And that Khan can do this in such an animated, engaging way says that we can expect more from South Africa’s newest creative talent.

THE INBOX INTERVIEW Umm Zakariyya catches up with Shubnum Khan UZ: My son felt that the characters were very real, very typical of Indian women in this country. Were you deliberately trying to portray a ‘warts and all’ picture of South African Indian women?

SK: How old is your son? I’m so glad we have boys reading this story - I’ve always worried that only women will read this when there is such an important message for males too. These stories of struggle and strife of Indian women, and women in general, are especially important for men or these will be stories that continue to haunt us.

Back to your question, I’m not sure if I was deliberate in anything I did - all I know is I wanted to tell a story about women and I wanted it to be true so I guess many aspects of Indian women came through - the good and the bad.

UZ: In the acknowledgements, you thank your aunts for being the inspiration for this story. How closely does Khadeejah’s character resemble that of your aunts’?

SK: Khadeejah Bibi Ballim is based on my mother’s sister. She is the only character in the novel whose character is very strongly based on a real person. Khadeejah’s life story is not my aunt’s but almost everything about her character is. For instance, she really does sell pickles from a house in Mayfair. The other characters were voices that grew out of Khadeejah but they are complete fiction.

UZ: Sumayya’s process of forging a cultural identity: what is she?

A South African Indian Muslim woman? An Indian Muslim South

African? An Indian South African Muslim? A Muslim Indian South African?

SK: I don’t attempt to define Summaya in this novel. We all wear different titles like ‘Proudly South African’ or ‘Proudly Muslim’, but increasingly we are being formed by our experiences and the events around us. We could be Indian Muslim women but we can also still be a young girl, a Kashmiri at heart, after we have visited the place; a brief sister to someone… Our identities are fluid and are always changing. Summaya is just a woman like everyone else trying to find that elusive identity.

UZ: Where next after Onion Tears? Are there any draft manuscripts in the pipeline?

SK: I’m not sure what’s next for me for writing but I do think I would enjoy working on some short stories before I begin a novel project.

UZ: Your food writing in the book is exceptional. So, a personal question, do you cook the food in your book? Do your rotis rise in the center?

SK: I’m not that much of a cook and most of my experience with cooking in Onion Tears has formed from observing my mother and aunties constantly working in the kitchen. So no, my rotis don’t rise in the middle but hey, they are pretty round!

Umm Zakariyya’s idea of a feast will include good books and great conversation on the menu.

September 2011 SISTERS 45

The Hijrah Dialogues From discussions of identity, belonging and race to home and family – SISTERS brings you The Hijrah Dialogues, chronicling a diverse body of brave adventures and trials as muhajiras seek out their own spot on the spaciousness of Allah’s I earth, in search of that elusive greener grass.

Part One: Brooke Benoit catches up with Iman Zaineb - a 44 year old EFL instructor and professor of World Religions to discuss her journey from the USA to Morocco, and back again.

“

Iman felt the rawness

A Muhajira Mama’s First Flight When American convert Iman Zaineb was seeking a second husband, her marital forum profile insisted that hijrah be included in the package, “I want to live where I can hear the adhan five times a day, and not from a clock that looks like a mosque!” Her call sent out from Atlanta, Georgia, was answered from Casablanca, Morocco.

Iman, a well-seasoned traveller, avoided the typical expat intercultural communication and intestinal discomforts as she, along with her young daughter, quickly settled into a honeymoon period - both as a newlywed and also as what expat experts call those first idyllic days of living in a new-to-you country.

“When I first arrived in Morocco, I lived in a very conservative, simple neighbourhood of working families. Because of the architecture of the place, neighbours saw each other frequently, while coming and going, hanging laundry, etc. We spent a lot of time chatting, going back and forth from each other’s houses and watching our children play. This was probably my best time as a Muslimah because there was a beautiful mosque in the area and I would often go with my neighbours for prayer. I learned a lot about Islam and about Moroccan culture at this time.”

It all gets real Then Stage 2 began. As was agreed upon before the purchase of airline tickets and the nikah, Iman returned to work. She found a job at an American school where her daughter enrolled. The family moved closer to her job, which meant higher rent and in turn Iman had to take on more work during evenings and weekends. This was less than ideal as she was now “always working” and spending few waking hours with her young child. Six months later she began a better paying job teaching English as a Foreign Language full-time at a costly international English language center in an urban district of Casablanca.

September 2011 SISTERS 46

New unforeseen challenges arose for her as she was now forced to make choices she hadn’t imagined to be concerns in a Muslim country. “If I wanted the best paying classes in the banks, in the offices, of the CEOs of various industries, wearing my hijab was going to be an issue. It became a choice between looking like a Muslimah or feeding and educating my daughter.”

Between the commuting, working long hours, de-hijabing for work, and the power plays with Iman being the family’s breadwinner, her marriage began to suffer under the stress. Iman and her husband amicably agreed to separate and she was granted a talaq (divorce).

“I went (to Morocco) to marry a Muslim man, with the desire to complete half of my deen. And within two years, I was back to being a single parent - struggling and outside of my homeland and without my family.”

By Myself Iman moved, for the third time, within walking distance of her job and her daughter’s new school. In her new neighbourhood, not only was the masjid and Islam not “at the forefront of the scene at all,” but Iman felt the rawness of being a stranger, an immigrant, and a black one at that, “There were very few Muslims interested in entertaining a friendship with an African American single mother. Issues of race and marital status began to crop up in ways that I, inspired by this Qur’anic verse, had not expected:

“O mankind! Lo! We have created you male and female, and have made you into nations and tribes that ye may know one another.”

[Al-Hujurat:13]

”

of being a stranger, an immigrant, and a black one at that.

When applying for her latest apartment, this time by herself, Iman was shocked and frustrated, “I had to show my passport and have the office manager of the company vouch for my American-ness!”

The landlord was upfront about not wanting to rent to sub-Saharan Africans due to stereotypes and biases common in Morocco.

Innumerable micro aggressions and overt occurrences of racism became par for the muhajira’s course.

In the chic interior of her job’s offices her “blackness” had her occasionally mistaken for a cleaning lady. Outside the offices, her treatment was sometimes worse: “I was walking close to my home, after having taken my daughter to school when I saw a beautifully dressed older Moroccan woman walking past me. Her jeleba and scarf were amazing and so I smiled and gave my salaam, since she was looking at me right in the face. She responded, “Shnoo briti, aziya?!” This is one of the strangest responses to ‘As salaamu alaikum’ that I have ever received. It’s Moroccan Darija for, “What do you want, black girl?!” Her response was an indication of the fact that to her, despite my hijab and modest dress, my Islam wasn’t enough.

She saw me only as a Black person.”

And away we go These unexpected treatments were immensely different from Iman’s professional life as a teacher in the United States, at the prestigious all African American Morehouse College for men. She was the first woman, the first Muslim and even the first non-Minister to teach in the Department of Philosophy and Religion. Iman did not experience open discrimination based on her religion or gender, rather she was awarded for her teaching excellence.

EFL teachers in developing nations are notoriously treated as expendable. After five years of teaching, living, loving and learning in Casablanca, Iman’s stay unexpectedly came to an end when her

company restructured and she was offered to renew her contract with too little work to support her small family. Not only did she not have the time and resources to quickly find another position elsewhere, but back in Atlanta her family was begging to see her and her daughter. Iman heeded her mama’s call and flew home.

On opposite shores of the Atlantic Ocean Iman has had to consider which side was greener and why? “Sometimes, while in Morocco, I wondered why I had left Atlanta.” She admits it was partially, “a bit of an Orientalist’s desire to live in the magical, mystical world of an Islamic nation, surrounded by fellow Muslims, and to raise my daughter in such an environment.”

For all the struggling of back and forth, Iman notes that her daughter has benefitted the most from their hijrah experience. Not only is the nine year old fluent in three languages, she has learned far more Qur’an than Iman has had the time to do so since her conversion over a decade ago.

Currently Iman is embarking on a new home-based career that she hopes will travel well, either back “to Morocco or some other Islamic nation - with more awareness and more mental preparation - so that my daughter can continue to study Arabic and Qur’an.” Insha Allah!

Brooke Benoit is an American artist who is home-educating her children in Casablanca, Morocco. She hopes, insha Allah, that life in The Mahgrib is the first leg of her own hijrah endeavours. Amongst her many interests and concerns are radical education reform, sustainable living practices, self-expression and discovery through art and sisterly love.

September 2011 SISTERS 47

LIVEGREEN

Reap what you sow: Growing your own food Green-fingered Arwa Aburawa offers expert advice and tips to get you growing your very own food.

Many people derive endless pleasure from growing tulips, roses and all varieties of delicate flowers, but for me, there’s nothing quite like growing my own food. Watching something sprout from a tiny seed into a delicious eatable vegetable or fruit satisfies me, and I don’t know if it’s a psychological thing but the food tastes amazing too. Now I’m not going to lie to you, growing food is no easy task because you have to commit to it over a stretch of months. But it sure is rewarding – on so many levels.

“ ”

Whilst herbs may seem like

small plants to grow, they do pack a mighty punch and can have a huge impact on your cooking.

Being able to grow your own fresh food is good for your health as it means you’re a little more active everyday and it will also encourage you to ditch the junk food.

pretty much take care of themselves. You also start by growing them indoors if the weather is not quite right, then bring the pot outside for a couple of days once the seeds have sprouted to get them used to the weather before re-planting them in your garden.

It also means that you don’t have to depend on supermarkets, with food flown in from all corners of the globe leaving a host of negative environmental consequences for our planet to struggle against.

Just keep it simple - don’t be tempted to plant lots of new things as you may get overwhelmed by the chores of watering, weeding and harvesting and give up all together.

If you have children, growing food is a great way to get them outside and away from the TV. It’s also really useful to help teach children about the origins of food, which helps give them a better understanding of why fresh foods are good for you and processed junk food isn’t.

With gardening, you have to give a little bit of your time everyday.

Whether you have a wander through your garden in the morning or when you get back from work, you’ll need to put some time aside to do your daily duty. It may seem like a chore to start off with, but soon you’ll be looking forward to your 20 minutes of peace in the garden with a cup of tea.

Keep It Simple With Herbs & Tomatoes For beginners, growing food can seem complicated. You have to think about the right time to plant, when to re-pot, what to feed the crop, the soil, the shade, when to harvest, how to prune and also deal with pests. My advice is not to worry about it all too much. Start with something simple like growing herbs or tomatoes and don’t be too hard on yourself if things don’t turn out as planned.

If you decide to go for some yummy tomatoes, than start by planting them in a pot to keep indoors, somewhere warm and light, before you bring them outside. Herbs are a particularly good introduction to growing as you can enjoy them year round and they

September 2011 SISTERS 48

Tiny Space - Big Impact Food If you’re not lucky enough to have a garden, there’s no reason to despair just yet. There’s bound to be a window sill or a space for a hanging basket, container, pot or tub to grow salads and herbs.

Strawberries, peas, peppers, chillies and cucumbers grow well in containers and if you only have a tiny space, then herbs and salads are best. Whilst herbs may seem like small plants to grow, they do pack a mighty punch and can have a huge impact on your cooking.

They are also aromatic and just brushing your hand against a few mint leaves unleashes a fresh fragrance to enjoy!

Another important thing to keep in mind when growing your own food is limiting waste. I am not talking about the food that gets chucked away at the end of a meal (or after a particularly rigorous clear out of the fridge and cupboards), but the food waste that happens in people’s gardens. If you’ve been lucky enough to inherit a fruit-bearing tree in your house or neighbourhood, then be sure to make the most of it! There’s no reason to buy supermarket apples when you have your very own glorious apples growing in your garden. If there is too much for you to make use of, then offer it to your neighbours, friends, work colleagues or even local charities or youth organisations who will be grateful for the fresh and free food.

about picking from public trees, although it is safe and perfectly legal in most countries. So gather your friends and family for a picnic and a bit of fresh fruit picking when the time is right. I know lots of people who pile their families into cars and drive for hours to get to a commercial pick-your-own orchard and pick their own fruit. This is pretty much the same thing, only completely free and without the distance!

So keep your eyes open for fruit trees and soon you’ll be seeing free food everywhere. From hedgerows growing berries, nettles for your soups and teas, to wild elderflower for refreshing cordials, you’re bound to find something to enjoy.

Who Says There’s No Such thing as a Free Meal?

Cities are also full of public gardens and parks bursting with trees laden with apples, pears, cherries and plums. Everyone is so reserved

Arwa Aburawa is a freelance journalist based in the UK who writes on the Middle East, the environment and various social issues.

September 2011 SISTERS 49

Let the growing begin

Reyhana Daud and her daughter journey into the realm of plant growing and discover the joys of gardening.

It all started with a dying pepper plant I bought at a garden centre a few years ago. Perhaps a half-dead plant wasn’t really the best way to start, but I thought I’d take my chances. Along with it, I bought a really dead-looking chilli plant. I planted them both together and made some space on my kitchen windowsill, so I would remember to water them whilst at the sink.

Each year I am rewarded with one big sweet pepper and some very hot chillies. The sheer delight and amazement on my 6-year-old daughter’s face at picking and cooking them turned into a desire to do more. My daughter, armed with her cute pink gardening set, and I took on the mission of growing our own.

My first step was to do some research, as I was completely in the dark. My front garden, albeit small, is planted with a nice variety of flowers that grow each year without much hard work on my part.

But my small back garden was completely devoid of any greenery.

Having been brought up with lovely green gardens, I really wanted something – anything - green growing in the back. A mini apple tree and a few climbing plants later, I’d fulfilled that desire. But still, I wanted something a little more.

A friend of mine who works in the growing industry informed me that one can grow plants in literally anything, “We don’t let lack of soil stop us! Willow baskets, plastic tubs, even old boots can be used as pots.” She also said that one should avoid carrots as they attract carrot flies, and that beans are great as they grow really fast and this will be good for the children.

Seeds and soil were next on the list. I was advised to buy a ‘growbag’ as they are full of nutrients, and that I should make holes in the

bottom of the container and pour a layer of gravel before adding the soil - to help with drainage.

We planted the seeds into small pots and left them indoors until the seedlings had grown stronger. By summer, they were strong enough to move outdoors. We planted parsley, beans, cherry tomatoes, strawberries, lettuce (which grew really fast) and spring onion, which are all now in larger plant-pots. My kitchen windowsill is a mini allotment in itself!

Delights

And as for my peppers and chillies? I moved them outdoors, thinking they were strong enough. But sadly, the rain and lack of heat almost took them back to their original state. Now they are safely back indoors. I will keep trying and one day, insha Allah, my efforts will literally bear fruit…and herbs and vegetables.

More info: Burgon and Ball have really pretty planters called ‘mini allotments’: http://www.greenfingers.com A less pretty, but a very popular option is Haxnicks planters: http://www.haxnicks.co.uk/Gardening/Vegetable-Planters/ Greenhouse Sensation do Quadgrows, Chilligrows and Vitogrow Mini Allotments which also keep your plant perfectly fed and watered while you are on holiday: http://www.greenhousesensation.co.uk When Reyhana isn’t designing SISTERS magazine, she is often found channelling her creativity elsewhere – either in the kitchen, the garden or having fun with her two young children.

Our Delights section introduces you to clothes that will transform your style and food that will tantalise your tastebuds.

Photo credit: Reyhana Daud

September 2011 SISTERS 51

Window Shopping

Classy Sassy

Ceres Dress £65, Monsoon

This month, SISTERS seeks elegance and sophistication with a dash of playful chic.

Cagney Blouse £55, Monsoon

Ceri Long Line Crochet £95, Monsoon Thiraz Tunic £135, Monsoon Marlin teal pleated dress with green embellishment £150, Monsoon

September 2011 SISTERS 52

Kite Top £60, Monsoon September 2011 SISTERS 53

3.

pizzazz

How to make patterns work for you Stripes, dots, floral, psychedelic, paisley...how you wear patterns can help you to accentuate - or conceal - your body’s shape to achieve a flattering silhouette.

1.

Paisley Chiffon Blouse, Paprika

Hour-glass

Characteristics: Bust & hips measurements are equal, well-defined narrow waist and proportioned curves comprise this most desirable feminine shape.

Objectives: Emphasise on tapered waist and curves

efining yles: Waist-d Patterns & St ilored ta d d dresses an clothes, fitte d patterns an ts rin p lly, all blouses. Virtua ur ho -glass d well on an can be carrie ical lines that prints or vert r le al n Sm e. figur t and hips ca hasise the bus p d. re em ui eq d re ill if w en the form th g n le to be used gonal stripes d floral to dia lFrom dots an e dress is wel th as long as s, ic h p ra g d an ccess. fitted, it’s a su

4.

Athletic slender

Characteristics: Also referred to as boyish, this rectangular body frame includes fairly regular measurements across shoulders, bust, under-bust, waist and hips.

Objectives: Create curves and definition.

Blue Paisley Print Maxi Dress £30, ISME Grazia Maxi Dress £65, Simply Be

Long sleeve paisley maxi dress £22, Matalan

2.

Spot Pussy Bow Blouse £14, George at Asda

5.

Petite

Characteristics: Small frame, dainty built, defined waist, small to medium curves & well-proportioned silhouette are the highlights of this shape.

Objective: Create length and accentuate curves.

Ditsy Print Dress £38, Simply Be

Lace Print Tee £28, Simply Be September 2011 SISTERS 54

Frill Front Ombre Shadow Strappy Dress £19, Internacionale

Frock & Frill Print Top £48, Simply Be

Pear Shape

Patterns & Styl es: Create focu s around neck, shoulder s, bust and wai st through wide necklines , lighter colour s and structured tops . Wearing intere sting or bold patterns on top and solids in bo ttoms keeps attention away from the lower half while boot-cut pants and A-line skirt s help to visually balanc e out the heav ier hips. Avoid large or loud pr ints at the botto m. Focus on motif details on top.

Patterns & Styl es: V necklines elongate the top and draws attention up an d away from th middle. High w e aist dresses prov ide structure while still cove ring the bulky torso. Wrap-arou tops give a cinc nd hed waist and accentuate the curves. Mid-leng th tunics cover and provide shape. Bold or large patterns w ith no repeats in straight or fitte d tops create in terest and take focus away from s the form. Darke r colours visual minimise. Verti ly cal motifs help increase the le and decrease th ngth e width. Avoid horizontal band or tiny prints an s d always mix pr ints with solids.

e straight yles: Break th St & ing, s rn te Pat layering, ruch ith patterns, d an es in kl silhouette w ec ooped n sc g, d in at le p ar tterns oun ruffling, ilored tops. Pa ta g in ur n lo efi co -d waist s, while create fullnes f the bust area ive illusion o g s h ig d the th floral, in ts rin p e fading aroun at bold, intric , ch Ri , s. th es n round ics add dep ey and graph . stripes, paisl Avoid checks ity d feminin . an n o si en im d

Characteristics: Curvy, narrow waist, narrow shoulders, proportionally small bust, wide hips and saddle thighs highlight this classic and most common female form.

Objectives: Draw attention and add visual weight to upper body and de-emphasise and narrow down the lower half.

Fearne Cotton Stripe Batwing Top £22, Very.co.uk

Full-figured

Characteristics: Broad shoulders, large bust and hips of similar measurements with waist only slightly smaller that the bust, define this - also known as - ‘apple’ figure.

Objectives: De-emphasise the broad waist, narrow the shoulders, elongate the torso and create proportions.

Paisley Kaftan £32, Accessorize

Blenheim Floral Print Jersey Dress £75, EAST

mininely d U necks fe vertical an V s: le Sty ing Patterns & ile also add e torso wh must to th a e is is as st h ai p em belted w r o ud d e ch ts in prin or lo interest. C from busy ally ay su aw vi y t u ta b S . g look chic o nothin d at ical th rt s ve rn atte s and and large p mall pattern e illusions S . rm fo y n ti eat drown the ions and cr ce proport stripes balan of height.

September 2011 SISTERS 55

vanity box

Framed!

Kanika Aggarwal shows the many ways of grooming the eyebrows – the Halal Way!

S

ince eyebrows frame the most important features of your face - the eyes - they should not be neglected while grooming. Many Muslim women who abide by the Islamic prohibition of plucking the eyebrows (see side-bar) feel insecure about their looks. If you are one of them, then rest assured that there are a number of things you can do, besides plucking, to achieve a neat and polished appearance. Whether your brows are bushy or scanty, there are different steps to take to define them and achieve a beautifully groomed look.

Bushy or Unruly Brows

This is the most common beauty concern of women who avoid plucking their brows. First of all it is important to realise that thin brows are not a universal standard of beauty. Your brows, just like other facial features, are distinct from others and lend your face character and balance, in harmony with the rest of your countenance. Many beautiful women proudly sport their thick and bold brows. Unruly brows, however, can be worked on to beautify your face.

• Spray a tiny amount of hairspray or spread hair gel on an old toothbrush or an angled brow brush and brush over your brows. Try to pinch the hair together to sharpen the outer edge for a defined look. Your eyebrow should arch at the spot above the outer edge of your iris.

• Using a clear gel mascara, brush its wand through your brows in an upwards-outwards direction.

• On a long-term basis, it is good practice to guide the direction of brow hair growth every time you wipe your face with a towel and also when applying moisturiser. Do this by gently using your index and middle finger around the brow in an upwards-outwards direction.

• To give your eyes a lifting effect, use a light shimmery eye shadow directly underneath your brow bone. This will make your eyes open up and give a refreshed look while defining your brows.

“ ”

To give your eyes a lifting effect, use a light shimmery eye shadow directly underneath your brow bone. This will make your eyes open up and give a refreshed look while defining your brows.

September 2011 SISTERS 56

• You can also use a tiny dab of brightening eye pencil or light shimmery eye shadow powder in the inner corner of the eye to create the illusion of bright and wide eyes (that may be overshadowed by bold brow growth).

Scanty Brows

These include the ‘barely-there’ types as well as the overly plucked ones (remnants of times of ignorance). In order to tackle these, you need to first determine the shape of your brows. To do this, take a

pen and place it vertically in line with where your nose ends on one side up to where your eye begins on the same side. This should be the beginning point of your eyebrow. Then, keeping the pen on the side of your nose, slide the top of the pen from where your eye begins to where it ends. This should be the ending point of your eyebrow. Repeat the process for the other side. There should also be a medium arch towards the middle of the brows. This knowledge should be used as a guideline to follow the following points.

• Fill in over plucked areas using an eyebrow pencil or using eyebrow kits such as Anastasia Brow Express kit (anastasia.net). Apply soft colour in small, upward strokes pressing lightly to avoid a hard drawn-on look.

• Deepen sparse or light-coloured brows to frame the face. Dip an angled brush in a powder shade that closely matches your hair colour (for superlight hair, you can go one shade darker). Apply it over the existing hairs to better define brows and continue to fill in any gaps in the shape.

• Add dimension and prominence to brow hair with a clear brow gel or cream.

In conclusion, whatever the state of your eyebrows, attending to them with care and aesthetic knowledge will ensure a well defined set that will not only enhance the beauty of your eyes but also your face. So, go ahead, get framed and look in the mirror with confidence.

‘And he [Shaytaan] said: ‘I will take an appointed portion of your slaves. Verily, I will mislead them, and surely, I will arouse in them false desires; and certainly, I will order them to slit the ears of cattle, and indeed I will order them to change the nature created by Allah.’ (An-Nisa:118) Many scholars including Qurtubi (rahimullah) said in the interpretation of this ayah that it is referring to plucking of eyebrows, amongst other matters.

Prophet Muhammad r said: Allah has cursed the women who do tattoos and those who have this done, the women who pluck eyebrows and those who have this done, and the women who file their teeth and change the creation of Allah.” [al-Bukhaari, 4604; Muslim, 2125] Kanika is a professional makeup and henna artist, offering LIVE makeup classes and services in Chicagoland and Greater Toronto Area. She also does one on one skin consultations. Her services include: makeup parties, photo-shoots, bridal makeup, special occasion makeup, makeovers, shopping consultations, henna application and more! Visit her website at www.beautyglamsham.com

The

Skincare Rules Rule #4:

You must moisturise your skin after toning

By Kanika Aggarwal

Moisturising is a daily skin care step that follows the use of a toner and an important first step towards beautiful makeup application.

Moisturisers not only hydrates your skin, they also form a barrier that prevents moisture from escaping thus, preventing dehydration of the skin. They must be chosen according to your skin type. If you have dry skin then choose a moisturiser that is creamy because it will contain the most oil. On the other hand, if your skin is naturally oily, try to stick to moisturising lotions, as they are light in viscosity

and less greasy. Moisturisers should be applied gently and putting too much pressure or pulling and rubbing on the delicate facial skin should be avoided. Based on your lifestyle and age, try to look for moisturisers that also contain Sun Protecting Factors (SPF) to prevent wrinkles and premature aging of facial skin. Healthy skin is well hydrated and supple, so do not forget this important skin care step!

More skin care to come! Stay Beautiful!

September 2011 SISTERS 57

Voila!

Big-Bag Fad

C O M P E T I T I O N

Huma Imam shares the amusing contents of her unique BFF, aka her purse.

C

elebrities have made strolling with luggage-sized handbags on their arms fashionable today. While I do not view bags as a fashion accessory, I have sported this trend for nearly a decade. My huge 14” x 14”, plaid-weaved, floral-printed, Victorian-era handbag that hangs from my shoulder on long braided woolen straps probably doesn’t paint a very aesthetically pleasing picture.

However, it’s not bad - at least not in my eyes.

For me bags are purely functional objects, i.e. containers to hold the necessities of life when away from home. Standard purse items for most women include basics like a wallet, mobile, keys, pens, compact mirror, perfume, lipstick and perhaps a moisturiser.

Just take one look into my bag and you will see just what it is I keep in there...

Travel sewing-kit

We have all experienced those unexpected episodes of wardrobe malfunction at critical moments. What do you do when you are the bride’s brother, getting dressed in a hotel room, an hour before the wedding guests’ arrival, only to realise that your newly-tailored trousers are three inches longer than your legs? Pace around the room in anger and panic? My brother did just that - until my wellequipped sewing set came to the rescue and saved the day.

First-Aid Kit

“For life’s little mishaps” says the palm-sized box containing assorted bandages, antiseptic cleansing towels, sting relief pads, anti-bacterial cream and a pack of headache tablets. I hope I never have to use it but carrying it offers a sense of comfort.

Baby sachet

I only used a diaper bag for the first four months after baby’s arrival.

It was too cumbersome lugging around with two big bags – mine and my little one’s. Very soon, a compartment was added in my everyielding bag to accommodate two diapers, wipes, teether, babybiscuits and burp cloth.

Instant hot beverage kit

Remember the amusing scene from Mr Bean when he pulls out all kinds of ingredients from countless pockets and prepares his sandwich and tea on a park bench? I’ve elicited similar astonished expressions whenever I’ve made use of the countless packets of

September 2011 SISTERS 58

coffee, creamer, sugar, salt, pepper and disposable cutlery in diverse situations.

Islamic pouch

My du’a book - Fortress of the Muslim - has to be my constant companion to guide in all sorts of situations and my palm-sized Qibla compass ensures that my family isn’t scrambling for prayer directions during the many off-road and out-of-city picnics we have.

Audio lectures and Qur’anic recitations on my mp3 player ensure that I use my time productively when waiting in traffic or at the doctor’s office.

Candies

Despite the sweet-tooth and the cravings for sugary treats every day, these candies are not for me. They come in handy when I wish to play Pied Piper around any adorable kid I come across in a mall, mosque or park. Playing the candy card works every time - the children enjoy the sweet and I, the sweet experience.

Endless supply of tissues.

Besides the obvious, they come in handy in blotting out excess oil off takeaway samosas. They are also folded and stuffed in the shoes to offer relief from nasty shoe-bites, halfway into your shopping.

4-inch stilettos!

Yes, the expandability of my satchel has at times been tested with the most unexpected of things. The path from the car to a friend’s wedding venue was long and wet with rain. It made perfect sense to wear my black masculine boots all the way to the ladies’ room.

Then, two carefully wrapped maroon velvet strappy sandals were pulled out from the bag to go with my formal dress. To complete the look, a sparkling sequined slim purse was also pulled out. Placed on the table, the trendy clutch testified to its owner’s sartorial taste.

It mattered not if all it could grudgingly hold was a mobile phone, which could only be retrieved by skillfully using two fingers as chopsticks. As I chatted with the fashionable people next to me, I had the comforting assurance of feeling my demure Victorian companion resting loyally by the leg of my chair.

The big-bag fad may go away with the changing whims of celebrities but I am not a person who betrays loyal friends.

Huma Imam has a rather large collection of fashionable bags & purses of all kinds, gifted by well-meaning friends and family. They rest in the wardrobe, waiting to see light of day.

September 2011 SISTERS 59

Lunch Box

Lip-smacking packed-lunches will make going back to school or work something to look forward to.

Bean Burritos

“Burritos are becoming a big hit in the fast food world because of all the healthy ingredients that can possibly be stuffed into the large tortillas wraps. They are simple to make at home and you can substitute just about any fresh ingredients you prefer to the ones in the recipe below.” - Yvonne

Ingredients For Beans:

• 2 tbsp olive oil • 1 yellow onion, diced • 2 cups cooked black/pinto beans, with juices • Salt, to taste

For Burritos:

Granola Bars

“These bars are a great lunch box filler. They are also healthier than the store-bought ones. Be warned that they are very addictive and more-ish.” - Fatima

Ingredients

• 1 cup brown sugar • ¹/2 cup golden syrup • ¹/2 cup melted butter or margarine • 2/3 cup peanut butter • 2 tsp vanilla essence • 3 cups quick-cooking oats • 3/4 cup coconut • 1/3 cup wheat germ( available at any health shop) • 3/4 cup raisins • 1 cup chocolate chips

• 1 large wheat flour tortillas • 1/3 cup Cheddar cheese, grated • ¹/2 cup Romaine lettuce, shredded • ¹/4 cup Roma tomato, diced • ¹/2 cup peanuts (walnuts or pecans can also be used) • ¹/2 cup dried fruit of your choice

Method

1. Preheat oven to 180°C. 2. Grease the base of a 13x9 inch baking pan.

3. In a large bowl combine the first five ingredients and mix well.

4. Then add in the remaining ingredients.

5. The mixture should stick together in clumps.

6. Press the mixture in a baking pan using your fingers.

7. Bake at 180°C for 15-20 min or until golden.

8. Cool and cut into bars.

Kebab Paratha Roll

“Wraps and rolls are perfect to carry for lunch.

And with this delicious and healthy filling of a shaami kebab rolled inside a paratha, both the kids and adults will enjoy their lunch.”

- Mona

Ingredients

• 700g boneless lamb/veal meat • 2 large yellow onions, roughly chopped • 1 cup gram lentil (pre-soaked for 1 hour and drained) • ¼ tsp turmeric • 3 ½ tsp red chilli powder • ½ tsp cumin seeds • 1 tsp all spice/garam masala powder • 1 piece 8” cinnamon stick • 3 tsp salt • 2 tbsp ginger garlic paste • 8 green chillies, roughly chopped • 4 tbsp lemon juice • 1 cup cilantro, roughly chopped • Parathas - store bought or home made (Refer to ’Bread Basket’ in SISTERS May Issue for recipe)

• 1 tsp Fresh cilantro, finely chopped • 2 tbsp sour cream • Hot sauce (optional) • Thinly sliced avocados (optional)

Method

1. Heat oil in medium-size deep skillet.

2. Add onions and cook until slightly browned. Add the beans, salt and turn heat to low. Allow to simmer for about 10 minutes. Do not let the liquids evaporate.

3. Arrange piece of foil or paper on a serving plate. Open up the tortilla on top of the foil or paper and lay it flat.

4. Layer with fresh ingredients in the following order: beans, sour creamshredded lettuce, diced tomatoes, grated cheese and cilantro.

5. Fold tortilla like a package, tucking the ends in tightly. Wrap in paper or foil to keep warm or keep in the oven’s warmer until ready to serve. Serve with hot sauce and fresh avocadoes on the side, if desired.

Method

1. In a pressure cooker on medium high heat, add half cup water, meat, pre-soaked, gram/daal, chopped onions, turmeric powder, red chilli powder, salt, cumin seeds, ginger garlic paste and cinnamon stick. Mix well. Close the lid and let it pressure cook until the meat is tender.

Later, remove lid and let it cook until all the liquid has evaporated and a dry mixture is left. Let it cool.

2. Remove and discard the cinnamon stick. Add the mixture to a food processor.

Throw in the cilantro, all spice powder, chillies, lemon juice and process without adding any water until smooth and doughy.

3. Transfer the mixture to a bowl. Take a nectarine-sized ball of the mixture in your hands, and shape into a roll. Make as many rolls as possible from the mixture.

4. At this point, you can freeze them for later use. Whenever in a hurry, either bake or shallow fry the shaami rolls until crisp and browned on all sides. Roll it into a paratha and add chopped tomatoes, onions and mayonnaise for flavor. Wrap in foil for a go-to lunch.

Grilled Vegetable Chutney Sandwich

“This recipe is a big hit with children. Not only does it taste good, it is also healthy owing to all the veggies. For mums, the best part is that it only takes a few minutes in the morning to prepare.”

- Kanika

Ingredients

• 4 slices of whole wheat bread • 2 large, boiled and sliced potatoes • 1 cucumber, sliced • 2 large, firm but ripe tomatoes, sliced • 1 large red onion, sliced • ½ cup mint chutney (recipe below) • Butter • Mayonnaise • Salt to taste • Pepper to taste

Mint chutney:

• 2 cups fresh mint leaves • 2 green chilies • 1 tbsp tamarind juice • 4 tsp lemon juice • Salt to taste

Chutney preparation:

Grind mint leaves, chilies, tamarind juice, lemon juice and salt into a smooth paste. Continue grinding and adding water to reach a sauce like consistency.

Method

1. Spread butter and mayonnaise on each bread slice.

2. Cover the bread slices by spreading mint chutney on the same side as above.

3. Place potato, cucumber, tomato and onion slices in layers.

4. Sprinkle salt and pepper according to taste.

5. Close the sandwich with another slice of bread and grill the sandwiches for about five minutes or until light brown.

6. Cut each sandwich into two equal triangles and pack for lunch!

Yvonne Maffei is a SISTERS star writer & editor at www.myhalalkitchen.com.

Fatima Shah is an avid foodie and is always experimenting in the kitchen with new ingredients. Her blog coffecupdiaries can be found at Food24.com.

Kanika Aggarwal teaches Indian cooking in Chicago and Toronto, and can be contacted via learnindiancooking.com.

Mona shares her Hyderabadi culinary creations on zaiqa.net.

September 2011 SISTERS 60

September 2011 SISTERS 61

cooking BASICS

Grilling Glory Yvonne Maffei shares the techniques for this favourite summer outdoor cooking

To

those who haven’t done much cooking on the grill, it can seem a bit intimidating to connect food directly to fire. A little different from barbecue, which involves indirect heat and distancing the food from the charcoal, grilling puts it right on the flame. That is what imparts the flavour everyone loves so much.

Following are a few basic tips and techniques to get a head start on grilling all summer long, insha Allah.

Choose a Grill The first step to successful grilling is to choose the type of grill you are comfortable using. Charcoal and gas or a combination of both are the most common types of grills, so you may want to consider how much outdoor space and mobility you have.

Select the Right Foods • Fruits are great whether selected to pair with meats or as a showpiece for unique desserts.

• Chicken and small birds such as quail or Cornish hens are scrumptious when cooked over fire. Remove the backbone and flatten large birds so they cook quickly and evenly.

• Most fish are firm enough to stay intact over flame like tuna, salmon, red snapper and sea bass are great.

• The best beef cuts are hangar and flatiron steaks, ribs, loin cuts, bone-in rib eye and skirt steaks, which cook quickly and are perfect for fajitas. Lamb options are endless.

September 2011 SISTERS 62

Food Prep • Bring foods to room temperature for about an hour before grilling.

• Keep flavours simple by spicing marinades, sauces and rubs delicately. Over-spicing can dominate the simple, delicious flavours produced with grilling. Most fresh cuts of meat can do well with quality salt, fresh pepper and olive oil.

• When making homemade marinades and sauces, avoid too much sugar or oil because they cause meats to burn quickly.

• Soak wooden skewers in water for about 30 minutes prior to use to prevent burning.

• Alternatively, place a sheet of aluminum foil directly on the grill grates to prevent the skewer handle from weakening and burning.

Understand Heat & Cooking Temperatures Foods can be grilled directly over the heat source or slightly off to the side, which is known as indirect grilling. Foods taking longer than 20 minutes to cook (i.e. whole chickens, large fish fillets and bone-in pieces of meat) should be cooked using the indirect method. For smaller pieces of meat such as kebabs and delicate fish that don’t take long to cook, grill over direct heat, which is similar to broiling food in an oven.

At the Grill • Once you start the grill, keep the lid closed so that it can warm up properly. Do the same if cooking anything longer than 20 minutes, opening only when necessary.

• Keep grill grates clean and lubricated at

all times during the cooking process by rubbing them with vegetable oil or cooking spray prior to cooking.

• Brush all foods modestly with oil before placing on grill grates.

• Don’t force turning any food. If it needs to be forced, it’s not ready to turn.

• Food evenly spread out on the grill will cook more evenly so avoid overcrowding.

• Sauces with honey, molasses or brown sugar should be applied during the last ten minutes of cooking to avoid burning.

• Let meats rest for about 10 minutes after cooking to retain juices.

Tips for Safe Grilling • Trim the fat on meats to avoid flare-ups.

• Never apply cooking spray to a lit grill.

• Keep grills far away from your home and any other wooden structures like fences and cooking wood.

Enjoy the Experience At the end of the day, grilling outdoors is about time well-spent, gathering with family and friends and enjoying the weather over good food. Life in this dunya doesn’t get much better than that.

To check out the grilling tools I recommend most, take a look around my Amazon store: http://astore.amazon.com/myhalkit-20 Yvonne Maffei is a food writer, cooking instructor and halal lifestyle expert who has just recently published the book ‘Clean Your Kitchen Green: Non-Toxic and Economical Ways to Efficiently Clean Any Kitchen’, now available on Amazon.com.

September 2011 SISTERS 63

IT ES DI EB FO O

Sherbet to Sorbet

Aminah Patel traces the fascinating journey and transformation of a delicious Eastern drink.

T

hey say that necessity is the mother of invention. In the case of how the Persian sharbat (sherbet, in English) drink came into being, this adage is particularly adequate.

However, before I regale you with the history of the famed sharbat, I should briefly relate something of my personal love affair with the Iranian cuisine.

It began a few years ago when I chanced to dine at an Iranian restaurant in Richmond, London. Not knowing what to expect, the sheer beauty of the cuisine blew me away. I learned from that first culinary experience that Iranians have a talent for making absolutely anything beautiful. Plates piled with fragrant rice, garnished with rose petals and lined with sumptuous dates provided a feast for the eyes as well as the palate. Then, what better way to wash the meal down than to indulge in a legendary refreshing sharbat?

In some cultures, the sharbat drink is a frothy milk based beverage, flavoured with rose syrup and more likely than not it is laced with ice cream. This is not the original sharbat of Persia. The Persians have historically been famous for their innovation - the invention of the sharbat is just one example of the nation’s ingenuity. PreIslamic Persia loved wines. The land was rich with various fruits that lent themselves to wine-making, enjoyed by locals and travellers alike. When Islam came to Persia, bringing with it the prohibition of alcohol, the Persians faced the task of finding an alternative to the newly forbidden drink. The transition from drinking to abstinence was not quick or easy, but eventually a new drink evolved, replacing the wine with a teetotal alternative. The word sharbat which means ‘drink’ in the Arabic language referred to a blend and balance of fruit syrups and ice. With Iran’s range of indigenous fruits, the possibilities were endless.

Before long, different versions of the marvellous newly invented drinks found their way to the West, where they still feature today under various names. One version of sharbat called panj (meaning five) due to its five ingredients, namely grape juice, rosewater, sugar, lemon and ice, evolved into ‘punch’ when Portuguese traders substituted the grape juice for rum. Similarly, when European travellers came to Iran they marvelled at the delightful fruit syrups that were served in glasses cooled with snow. They returned home with the idea of blending fruit and ice, thus transforming the sharbat and into sorbet. Sorbet soon started making appearances on the tables of European high society.

Sharbat is still enjoyed today in its various forms, the common feature being that it always has something of an effervescent quality. It can be traditionally made with sharp, tart fruits, frozen into sorbet. The original sharbat has certainly come a long way from its beginnings as a halal alternative to the forbidden wine.

September 2011 SISTERS 64

Sharbat e Limoo (Lemon Syrup)

The lemon syrup, or sharbat e limoo is popular due to the abundance of tart lemons and limes throughout Iran. (From The Legendary Cuisine of Persia by Margaret Shaida)

Ingredients

• 250ml fresh lemon or lime juice • 500g sugar • 750ml water • 2 tbsps rosewater

Method

1. In a pan, combine the lemon or lime juice, sugar and water. Bring to a boil and simmer uncovered for 20 minutes.

2. Take the pan off the heat and allow the mixture to cool. Stir in the rosewater.

3. Pour into a sterilised bottle and seal. Once opened, store in the refrigerator.

4. To serve, pour over ice in a glass or jug and stir in chilled water.

Garnish with sprigs of fresh mint.

Pomegranate Sorbet

Although sorbet flavours are limitless, the heavenly pomegranate is most in keeping with the Persian theme. For convenience, rather than undertake the messy task of juicing a fresh pomegranate, buy pure pomegranate juice. (From The Ultimate Ice Cream Book by Bruce Weinstein)

Ingredients

• 750ml pomegranate juice • 188g sugar • Juice of ½ lime

Method

1. Place pomegranate juice in a small saucepan over a low heat.

2. When the juice is warm, add the sugar and stir until completely dissolved.

3. Remove from the heat and refrigerate until cold.

4. Add limejuice to the chilled mixture and stir.

5. Pour into a freezer-safe container and freeze. Take the mixture out every 30 minutes to whisk until no ice crystals remain, and the sorbet is firm. Alternatively, pour the chilled mixture into an ice cream machine and freeze according to manufacturer’s directions.

Serve.

Aminah Patel grew up in South East England where she obtained a degree in History with Spanish at Royal Holloway, University of London.

She currently resides in Cape Town, South Africa with her husband and two daughters.

Follow her exploits in the kitchen by checking out her blog, Cake Mama at http://humblestoryteller.blogspot.com

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