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REPORTING EBOLA Call to all students, faculty to be aware
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Tuesday, Jan. 27 , 2015
The Voice of San Jose City College Since 1956
Volume 79 Issue 1
A peaceful demonstration students showed recognition of the grief so many are feeling across the nation BY ANN ELIZAGA TIMES STAFF
San Jose City College hosted “Black Lives Matter,” a peaceful demonstration at the Student Center on Dec. 10. “The purpose is the moment of silence and healing,” said Michelle Blair, English instructor. At the demonstration, students showed sympathy for all the black lives lost or affected. “The event shows solidarity with everybody who’s being affected with what’s going on with the killing of black men,” said
Randi Escobar, an SJCC English and criminal justice major. Some students and staff showed respect toward all the black lives lost. “We wore all black and had a moment of silence,” Escobar said. Blair, played a song at the event. “There is a song that I played, which is called Sweet Honey on the Rock,” Blair said. The Director of Student Development and Activities, Blake Balajadia wrote in an email that he wanted students to show sympathy to all the black lives lost and for all those who are grieving. “What I wanted people to take in was that each of us standing in the Student Center was not only family to one another, but also family to the individuals who have lost their lives to police violence all over the country,” Balajadia wrote. “I wanted people to understand that we are collectively feeling the loss of these individuals and the need to come together to make a difference around this issue.”
PHOTO BY ANN ELIZAGA / TIMES STAFF
SJCC English student Randi Escobar, left, and Blake Balajadia, director of Student Development and Activities, speak to the crowd at the “Black Lives Matter” event at the Student Center on Wednesday, Dec.10.
Meet SJCC Counselors The counseling department in San Jose City College helps students develop an educational plan to complete associate degrees or higher. Students can get free academic career and personal counseling at SJCC. Counselors highly recommend that students meet with them at least once a semester in order to effectively and efficiently move toward their academic goals.
Santos loves her job as a counselor
The Counseling Department’s hours are: Monday-Thursday from 8 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. Fridays from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.
Carlos Chavez
General Counselor
Gina Ronzano
General Counselor
Lila Chiem
EOP&S Counselor
William Reyes
General Counselor
Phone: (408) 2883750
PHOTO BY ESTHELA RAMIREZ / TIMES STAFF
San Jose City College counselor Priscilla Santos advises students in her office on Oct. 30.
Student Center, 2nd Floor SC-200 To see a counselor you can book an appointment. Drop-in times are also available. A student ID number is required.
Marc Sola
General Counselor
Tuan Ngo
General Counselor
Rachel Hagan
General Counselor
Roland Montemayor General Counselor
See COUNSELORS page 3
After 35 years, she will retire and continue supporting community BY ESTHELA RAMIREZ TIMES STAFF
San Jose City College has many students with many different needs. Some require assistance with making an education plan in order to efficiently earn their degrees. Those who are transferring to or from other colleges need to have their units evaluated. There are
NEXT NEWSPAPER: Feb. 17
also those who need support and guidance when facing academic probation. Whatever their needs may be, SJCC Counselor and Professor Priscilla Santos has been ready, willing and able to lend a hand. “I feel proud and confident guiding students. I know this young generation will be the future of the United States,” she said.
See SANTOS page 3
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2 Opinion
Tuesday, Jan. 27, 2015
Violence is not the answer All lives matter
V
iolence is not protected under the First Amendment, which gives Americans freedom of speech. Public demonstration along with the destruction of personal property is not acceptable and looked down upon. Solutions are needed to stop police brutality because all lives matter. The world watched on TV as violent reactions escalated to setting vehicles on fire and blocking freeways as protesters sought a solution to the nation’s problems with police brutality. The world related to the pain felt by the parents of the victims who lost a loved one at the hands of police who are supposed to protect us from harm. A first step toward a solution could be changing the law to require all
police to wear body cameras, so that all incidents of police brutality and victims can be recorded as proof in lieu of accepting sometimes inconsistent eyewitness accounts. A second step toward a solution could be lobbying for changes to the legal process to have police brutality cases reviewed by a third party, someone outside of the legal establishment, instead of having reviews done by police or district attorneys Lastly, another solution could be calling for transparency from all Grand Juries, who are mostly secretive in their legal decisions. This change to the law is needed so everyone can fully understand the decisions Grand Juries make. Communities must step up; they must help one another by actively seeking solutions to the social issues that affect them because … ALL LIVES MATTER.
COMPILED BY JAMES HARTLEY / TIMES STAFF
Name: Abel Sandoval Age: 21 Major: Communication Studies My first impression of this school was that it could use some fixing.
Name: Angela Enciso Age: 25 Major: Education
Email your letters to the editor at citycollegetimes@jaguars.sjcc.edu “Lunch-uring about fancy meals”
I thought SJCC was a small college, but I liked that about it.
What was your first impression of San Jose City College?
Name: Greg Morris Age: 22 Major: Kinesiology
It’s very multicutural and Thought the place was small until I explored diverse. It had a campus. Still small. welcoming feeling.
the Times mailbox at Reprographics the newsroom in the Tech Center citycollegetimes@jaguars.sjcc.edu
Name: Bri Tia Age: 20 Major: Criminal Justice
Name: JennyLe Age: 30 Major: Child Development I could not locate my class at first, but the people here were very friendly and helpful.
The school is a little more down to earth than most others.
By Patrick Jenkins / Times Staff
“Bulling your rights to being different !”
The Times welcomes comments and opinions that do not exceed 200 words.
Name: Nikhil Sastry Age: 24 Post Bachelor’s
By Patrick Jenkins / Times Staff
Sports Editor Zach Tatar
Design Editor Miguel Norona
Ad Manager Magnolia Lopez
Lifestyle Editor Annmarie Elizaga
Graphic Designer Patrick Jenkins
Arts and Entertainment Editor James Hartley
Reporters Erika Arevalo Esthela Ramirez
Photographers Cameron Smith Javier Becerril
News Editor Dianne Escalante
Faculty Adviser Farideh Dada
Technology Center, room 302 San Jose City College 2100 Moorpark Ave. San Jose, CA 95128 (408) 298 2181 x3213
citycollegetimes@jaguars.sjcc.edu
Tuesday, Jan. 27, 2015
COUNSELORS FROM PAGE ONE
Meet nine out of 16 counselors: Roland Montemayor, dean of the Counseling Department ■The skinny: Main role is providing leadership to the department, so that students have a good experience in counseling. He grew up in Monterey County but has lived in San Francisco most of his adult life. Montemayor has worked mostly in administration. He has been in SJCC for about two years. “I love seeing how education can create opportunities for students to provide good lives for themselves and their families,” he wrote in an email. ■ Education: Master’s Degree in Education and Counseling. ■ Family status: He grew up in a large family and has many nephews and nieces. He is single but feels like some of his nephews are like his kids. “I saw when they were born, took them to school, watched them grow up and get married and have children,” he wrote. ■ Hobbies: Enjoys long-distance running and is a history buff. Loves to travel so that he can see where history happened. ■ Favorite movie: To Kill a Mockingbird. ■ Dream vacation: The Middle East, particularly Iraq and Jordan. ■ Advice to students: Take advantage of every opportunity you have at SJCC. Participate in an orientation, take the college assessment and work with a counselor to develop an educational plan. Then use that plan to map out your movement toward accomplishing your educational goal. Also, SJCC has great teachers, find the best and use the knowledge you gain from them to build your educational success. ■ Contact info: Roland. montemayor@sjcc.edu Office: (408) 288-3183 William Reyes, general counselor ■The skinny: Reyes is a counseling liaison to Social Sciences
SANTOS
FROM PAGE ONE Colleagues, friends and students describe her as a friendly person who has a good sense of humor. “Since I’ve known her, I’ve always seen her smiling and says hello,” said Joanna Kaladro, an SJCC student. Santos’ hobbies include a love of photography. She said she has hundreds of pictures of her grandparents and relatives. She does not have time to organize because of her busy schedule, but after she retires, her plan is to organize them. She said she also feels very proud of all the activities she is involved in. For example, she supports students in spring by giving scholarships to students who deserve to be rewarded for the hard work they have done. Santos mentions that she “Always encourages students to stay at the school.” She knows when students have problems, the first thing they want to do is drop out of school. She said she wants “to make sure students stay in colleges.” Santos’ journey has brought her wonderful memories. As a college student, she began to work at San Jose City College. Santos took the Federal Work-Study Program through financial aid. Later, she was hired as a full-time employee. She earned a degree at SJCC. Afterwards, she transferred to San
Department and a counselor for the Pathway to Law School Program. He started in SJCC in August. He was born and raised in San Francisco. He speaks English and Spanish. ■ Education: Bachelor’s Degree in Recreation Management and Master of Science Degree in Counseling, specialization in College/Career and K-12, both from San Francisco State. He has a Pupil Personnel Services Credential. ■ Family status: Married and father of two girls. ■ Hobbies: Jogging and playing sports. He enjoys watching and attending sporting events (baseball, football, basketball, etc.). He likes to take brisk walks with his family and work on house projects with his dad. ■ Favorite movie: Doesn’t have a favorite. “Too many to choose from,” he wrote in an email. He prefers comedy and action/drama movies. ■ Dream vacation: Bora Bora (with just his wife) and Italy and Spain (with entire family). ■What he enjoys more about his job: He gets to interact with a wide array of students with various experiences and goals and gets to be a part of their academic career process and live vicariously through them. “In other words, I get to become a business, construction technology, dental assisting, etc. major along with them,” he wrote in an email. ■ Advice to students: “Don’t take everything for face value, and advocate for yourself; and lastly, a wise person once told me ‘handle business, have fun.’” ■ Favorite quote: “Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me, and I’ll understand.” -- Benjamin Franklin ■ Contact info: phone: (408) 2982181 ext. 3562; Room SC-201D email: William.reyes@sjcc.edu Gary Ledesma, veterans/general counselor ■The skinny: Worked at SJCC for almost 25 years. He was born in San Jose, married, has three children and four grandchildren. ■ Education: Student at SJCC in the mid-60s. Jose States University. She decided to work just parttime while earning a bachelor’s degree in liberal arts. Later, she went back to SJSU. Santos began her journey as a teacher at McKinley Elementary School for about six to seven years. She was determined to succeed and progress in her educational career. She decided go back to SJSU to earn a master’s degree as a counselor and worked part-time at SJCC. The Human Resources at SJCC had an open position for a counselor. She applied and they offered the position to her. “I have been working as a counselor, instructor, mentor and academy adviser for more than 35 years at SJCC,” Santos said. “I was counseling about 60 percent of the time and helping the Associate Students 40 percent. I love my job and the way I have done it.” Santos tells her students “to work for your future and do what you enjoy to do. This way you will love to go to work every day.” Santos said she likes to provide shelter services to homeless in the community and is involved in the Jan Willem House at Kaiser Permanente Hospital. “This community supports families who have children in the hospital,” Santos said. “The families are allowed to go to the JW House for rest, have a meal and shower. I cook for their families or do the presentations.” Her classes are required to go
Accounting Degree from SJCC, Bachelor’s Degree in sociology from SJSU, Master’s Degree in counseling psychology from Santa Clara University. ■What he enjoys more about his job: He likes to help many veterans who come to SJCC campus with unique issues, such as PTSD and medical concerns. Also, seeing students reach their goal at SJCC. ■ Hobbies: He enjoys watching cable news TV. ■ Favorite movie: Born on the Fourth of July. ■ Dream vacation: Israel. ■ Advice to students: “Try not to work, if possible while attending SJCC. Start off by taking your basic skill classes, and maybe a general ED class,” he wrote in an email. ■ Favorite quote: “Yes, we can!” ■ Contact info: office: (408) 2982181 ext-3650 email: Gary.Ledesma@sjcc.edu Gina Ronzano, general counselor ■The skinny: Born and raised in San Jose. Single with no children. ■ Education: She graduated from Overfelt High School in San Jose. Received Associate Degree from San Jose City College, Bachelor’s Degree in Sociology from Weber State University in Ogden, Utah. Minor in Family Studies, Master’s Degree in Counseling Education from SJSU. ■ Hobbies: She enjoys love movies, comedy clubs and baking. ■ Dream vacation: Anywhere warm that has a pool and room service. ■ What she enjoys more about her job: She loves seeing students succeed. ■ Advice to students: “Don’t rush because now competition is so tough getting into the universities, that is better to take longer and do well than rush and do average,” she said. ■ Contact info: Office: (408) 2982181 ext-3686 email: Gina.ronzano@sjcc.edu Lila Chiem, EOP&S counselor, instructor Guidance 96 ■ Education: San Francisco State University. ■ Family status: She is married and has two kids. to JW House to do community services for about 4 to 7 hours. Students need to set up tours, prepare snacks, do presentations, cook and clean. This is required in order to pass the class. She does her best to keep in touch with her former students. The day of one of her former student’s graduation, Santos brought her a gift. Claude still has the necklace and remembers her. The student did not have relatives to give her graduation gifts. Santos did not know that she made her happy. Santos said she will retire at the end of spring semester. After retirement, she said she hopes to travel around the world and spend more time with her family. She loved her visit to Hawaii and would like to go there again. “I feel a bit sad leaving everything behind,” Santos said, “but I feel that it’s time to relax.” Santos said it’s important for students to use their time wisely. “I encourage students to keep reading and writing during their free time,” Santos said. “When they transfer to the university, the level of the reading and writing will be more difficult, so practicing is good.” Many students like Santos. “Santos is a wonderful professor as well as a counselor,” student Guillermo Jimenez said. “I will miss her after she leaves campus.” I always wonder how she’s doing. … She always smiles. … She is a very kind person.”
Campus Life 3
■ Hobbies: She enjoys swimming, walking and spending time with her kids ■ Favorite movie: Frozen ■ Dream vacation: Hawaii ■ What she enjoys more about her job: She loves being here for students for guidance and to make a difference in their personal and educational lives and see them succeed. ■ Advice to students: Be prepared, be proactive, see counselors two times per semester, have an educational plan, take class Guidance 96, keep motivated and learn how to manage time to be successful. ■ Favorite quote: “If you love what you do, you don’t have to work a day in your life” -- Confucius ■ Contact info: Office: (408) 2883788, email: lila.chiem@sjcc.edu Tuan Ngo, general counselor ■The skinny: She is originally from Vietnam but grew up in Syracuse, N.Y. and has worked at SJCC for 10 years. ■ Education: Master’s Degree in Counseling. ■ Hobbies: She enjoys traveling, photography, yoga and tennis. ■ Dream vacation: Italy. ■ What she enjoys more about her job: She enjoys helping, encouraging and motivating students to achieve their educational and career goals. ■ Advice to students: Be proactive and take charge of your education. Dream big and take steps each day toward your goals. ■ Favorite quote: “Everything lies within, not without.” ■ Contact info: phone: (408) 2982181 ext-3651 email: tuan.ngo@ sjcc.edu Marc Sola, general counselor, guidance courses/workshops ■The skinny: He was born back east and grew up in Southern California. He has worked 28 years in the district and eight at SJCC. ■ Education: Bachelor’s Degree in anthropology from UCLA, Master’s Degree in counseling from San Francisco State University. ■ Hobbies: He loves food and sports. ■ Favorite movies: Casablanca,
Citizen Kane and The Graduate ■ What he enjoys more about his job: He enjoys seeing people achieve their dreams in life – an education. ■ Favorite quote: “Try to discover something new every day. Never stop learning.” Rachel Hagan, general counselor/ instructor ■The skinny: She was born in Santa Cruz. She has worked at SJCC for more than three years. ■ Education: Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology from UCSC, Master’s Degree in Counseling from Sonoma State University. ■ Family status: Mother of a 14-year-old son. ■ Hobbies: She enjoys reading, dancing, watching TV, networking, movies, going out with friends. ■ Favorite movies: Grease, The Breakfast Club, Almost Famous, Good Will Hunting ■ What she enjoys more about her job: She loves being able to help students determining a major, suggesting particular classes they’ll enjoy. She loves helping them to be efficient with their schedule, motivating them to do better with study tips. ■ Advice to students: Take fewer classes and get A’s. Time management is the key. Don’t take classes you are not prepared for. Research instructors, using http:// ratemyprofessors.com and know your learning style so that you find an instructor who will best teach to your style. ■ Contact info: (408) 298-2181 ext3749 email: rachel.hagan@sjcc.edu Carlos Chavez, general counselor ■The skinny: Born in Watsonville ■ Education: Master’s Degree in Education from San Jose State ■ Family status: Father of two sons ■ Hobbies: He enjoys watching sports ■ Favorite movie: Due Date ■ Dream vacation: Europe ■What he enjoys more about his job: He loves to see students graduate and set a family tradition. ■ Contact info: (408) 288-3750, email: carlos.chavez@sjcc.edu
Reporting Ebola exposure on the campus Call to all students, faculty to be aware
Ebola is a familiar health term to students and known throughout the world. Students on campus are not BY DIANNE ESCALANTE immune to Ebola and a campus protocol is in place to assist TIMES STAFF students, who become ill, and the surrounding community of Please visit San Jose City College. http://sjcctimes.com to read the full story. ILLUSTRATION BY PATRICK JENKINS
/ TIMES STAFF
4 Campus Life
Tuesday, Jan. 27, 2015
FACULTY Dr. Byron Breland President Room # GE 107 (408) 288-3725 SJCCPres@sjcc.edu Dr. Keiko Kimura Dean, Language Arts/LRC Room # GE 206T (408) 288-3719 Keiko.Kimura@sjcc.edu Sean Abel Dean, Social Science and Humanities Room# A 108A (408) 288-3785 Sean.Abel@sjcc.edu Blake Balajadia Director, Student Life Room # SC 115i (408) 288-3160 Blake.Balajadia@sjcc.edu
Takeo Kubo Dean of Enrollment Services Room # SC 103A (408) 288-3733 Takeo.Kubo@sjcc.edu
Technology center Dental assisting, emergency medical technology, photography and some journalism classes are taught here. The Technology Center also houses the Tech Cafe, Workforce Institute, Foundation and Technology Auditorium. This is also the home of the City College Times.
Cosmetology / Reprographics
Cosmetology Student cosmetologists provide hair styling services including permanent waving, chemical relaxing, hair coloring and cu Manicures, facials and make application is provided as w Reprographics The Reprographics department i responsible for the graphic design, printing, copying an publication creation for the district. With satellite locatio both San Jose City College Evergreen Valley College, th Reprographics department provides an array of service faculty, staff and eligible stu throughout the district.
Roland Montemayor Dean of Counseling Room # SC 201 (408) 288-3772 Roland.Montemayor@sjcc.edu
Marilyn Brodie Director, CalWORKS Room # SC 216B (408) 288-3684 Marilyn.Brodie@sjcc.edu Lamel Harris Director of Athletics and Kinesiology Room # L 114 x 3736 Lamel.Harris@sjcc.edu Dr. Elaine Burns Room # B 105 (408) 288-3146 Elaine.Burns@sjcc.edu Duncan Graham
Science Complex The Science Complex building contains science labs, and lecture and computer classes are held here.
Multi-disc building a Arts build
Several classes these buildings mathematics to Metas Program support progra here.
Room # B 103 (408) 288-3142 Duncan.Graham@sjcc.edu
Jorge Escobar Vice President of Administrative Services Room # B 101 (408) 288-3187 Jorge.Escobar@sjcc.edu Robert Gutierrez Director, METAS Room # M 104 (408) 288-3104 Robert.Gutierrez@sjcc.edu Joe Andrade Facilities Manager Room# CT 108 (408) 288-3159 Joe.Andrade@sjcc.edu
Dr. Ingrid Thompson Dean, Business & Workforce Development Room # T 403 (408) 288-3131 Ingrid.Thompson@sjcc.edu
Jamie Alonzo Dean, Math and Science Room # S 102 (408) 288-3716 Jamie.Alonzo@sjcc.edu
TH
MG
Tuesday, Jan. 27, 2015
Campus life 5
CAMPUS MAP
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Theater / Drama
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The Learning Resource Center has as an open computer lab, which is open to students registered at San Jose City College. Student tutors are available for those in need
Main Gym MG
SC Student Center
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The Student Center is the center of life on campus. It houses the Office of Admissions and Records, Student Health Services, the Assessment Center, the Bookstore, the cafeteria, Campus Police, Counseling, the Career / Transfer Center and Financial Aid and Scholarships.
INFOGRAPHIC DESIGN BY MIGUEL NORONA PHOTOS ZACK TATAR, MIGUEL NORONA, GOOGLE EARTH AND THE SAN JOSE CITY COLLEGE WEBSITE
6 Campus Life
Tuesday, Jan. 27, 2015
San Jose City College Student Health Services is located in the Student Center across from the bookstore and police station. Flu shots and all other services are available for students only with valid identification.
Free medical services for students
Dr. Toni Moss places a Band-Aid on a student after carefully injecting him with the flu vaccine.
Student cautiously reads line for line to be aware of the potential side effects the vaccine could possibly expose him to.
Above: Student receives flu shot from doctor in the health center. Left: The Student Health Center provides a wide range of pamphlets for students to read or take home. The center also provides services many students fail to take advantage of, including the family planning program, smoking cessation program and many more.
According to the Centers for Disease Control, the best way to prevent acquiring the flu virus is to get the flu vaccine once a year. The flu virus do not respond to antibiotics, so the best way to deal with it is to prevent it.
7 Campus Life
Tuesday, Jan. 27, 2015
Entry instructions: Submit the crossword by Feb. 10 at 3 p.m. by: Emailing a picture to citycollegetimes@jaguars.sjcc.edu or bringing the crossword to Technology Center, room 302. Or dropping it in the news tips boxes located in the Student Center or Technology Center. Winners will be announced in our next issue on Feb. 17.
Tuesday is best for finishing homework.
ACROSS 2. Who is the dean of the counseling department? 3. When a student becomes ill on campus, who should be notified first? DOWN 1. What soul searching technique does coach Huntz-Rooney use?
Studies show it is the most productive day of the week. You can learn even more earning a bachelor’s degree from National University. Online. On campus. Non-profit.
Submit this completed crossword for a chance to win a $20 Streetlight Records gift certificate.
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8 Campus life “It put me head and shoulders above other students when I transferred to SJSU.” “The best class I have ever taken.”
Tuesday, Jan. 27, 2015
“I had no idea what I had signed up myself into. I didn't like to write. I was shy. I had no experience. I found my love for journalism.”
“I won a few awards. I was like, ‘Wow.’ ” “Take this class if you really want to be part of something greater than just attending school.”
Come see what it’s like in the
MEDIA
The Lady Jags of spring bring back 9 players
Championship goals in 2015 BY ZACH TATAR TIMES STAFF
San Jose City College’s softball team looks forward to another promising season with nine Lady Jags returning to a team that had a lot of success during the last season at the plate but lost in the first round of the Northern California Regional Playoffs. This season, head coach Debbie Huntz- Rooney, entering her 23rd year coaching, has set many goals for this squad. “We want to get back to the Coast Conference Championship and we want to be the one that wins the conference, that will allow us to play in the regional playoffs,” Huntz-Rooney said. “Ultimately get to state, that’s what we are working hard for.”To get to the softball state playoffs for any team it takes more than being good on the field. Huntz-Ronney adopted a “soul searching” technique from the famous and late UCLA basketball coach John Wooden (won 10 NCAA basketball championships in a 12-year span with the Bruins), called a “pyramid of success.” The pyramid will consist of the Lady Jags’ values such as, “accountability, hustle, and attitude,” Huntz-Rooney said. “It gets us excited about what each other can bring to our season,” Huntz-Ronney said. Overall, last year’s team hammered the ball all season. Led by All-State player of the year (former Jag outfielder Krystal Rock) and all-NorCal player of the year (former catcher Treasure Rodriguez), the team scored 95 runs in its first seven games. Three of the nine returning players this season received All-Conference awards as freshmen (first-team All-Conference, middle infielders sophomores Sydney Halleen and Kallie Klinger, second-team All-Conference sophomore first baseman Katie Hoffman). Halleen is returning to a team that she led in home runs (9) and slugging percentage (.759) and was one of two freshmen with over 30 hits (41). Her teammate and double-play partner, second baseman Klinger, had 37 hits and had the second most doubles on the team (10). The lady Jags kick off the 2015 season with a doubleheader on Thursday, Feb. 5 at Lady Jag Field against Cosumnes River College, game one starts at 12:30 p.m. game two in set to start at 3 p.m..
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Dear Jazzy, Please help me. I have great friends but they keep hurting me. They act like they want me to be their friend one minute then the next minute they shove me to the ground and start hitting me. Sometimes they put me in a leg lock wrestling hold, and I think they’re going to break my leg. Two of them are doing it. The others laugh. They put me in wrestling holds and it hurts. I beg them. They don’t care. They say they have to make me tough. Yesterday they pushed me into the creek when it was cold. Last year they took my pants off and threw them up to the top of a tree where I couldn’t get them so I walked home in my underwear. It was freezing. I don’t want to get new friends. These guys
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are my friends for a long time. I just want them to stop hurting me. What can I do? I don’t want to fight back. That just makes them mad. I can’t tell my parents, and I won’t tell any police officer or people at school. They’re good friends. We always have fun. I like them. I know the friendships will be great when they stop hurting me. I know I’m not tough enough. Please help. Sincerely, “Fix my friends” Dear Fix My Friends, I think you have the wrong idea of what it means to be a friend. Friends show affection and respect for each other. Friends help take care of you when you are sick, are there to bail you out in times of trouble. In general, friends are nice and kind, not hostile and aggressive. We cannot control other people. You can only control your own choices, and your reaction to situations. You need to give your friends an ultimatum, they change their behavior, or you remove yourself from their unfriendly behavior. It is important for you to love and respect yourself first, there is no need to argue or fight back.
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Next time you meet with friends, you will show a positive attitude and smile. As soon as you see one of them want to hurt you, get up, say, “Stop! I do not like this, you are hurting me, and I have had enough.” You will see their reaction. Don’t be bullied. You can stay or you can walk away. Your friends may think you are not serious and try to fall into the old pattern of behavior, do not allow it. Just repeat, “I am serious. I have had enough.” Protect yourself. Stay away for a few days or a week, maybe two. They need to know you are serious. They only abuse you if you allow it. No matter how long it takes, don’t return to their company until they change their behavior and understand. Do not continue the mistake of allowing friends to act toward you in clearly unfriendly ways. You are in control, not them.
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Good Luck, Jazzy Send your Dear Jazzy letters to Citycollegetimes@jaguars.sjcc.edu
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