Tuesday, May 8, 2018
The Voice of San Jose City College Since 1956
Volume 85 Issue 5
Cosmetology department captivates audience at The Glass House See “Hair Show” Photo Essay page 4.
Senior technician Whitney K. Hatcher works on model Ayleen Ramirez’s hair during the 2018 Cosmetology Spring Hair Competition held in the cosmetology building at SJCC on Friday, April 27.
PHOTOS BY BENJAMIN CASTRO/ TIMES STAFF
Freshman technician Jalecia Olden and her model Tashiona Morrow strike a pose at the end of the runway during the 2018 Spring Hair show held at the Glasshouse in down town San Jose on Friday, April 27.
Student Center becomes a major fair Find your path, follow your passion
BY JOEANNA LOPEZ TIMES STAFF
Thirty Two partners ranging from San Jose City College nationally ranked and awardwinning programs HVAC, Cosmetology and Journalism to Photography and KJCC Broadcasting, to name a few, filled just about every corner in the Student Center for Major Fair on April 25. Representatives stood at their booths ready to answer questions about degrees, certificates and opportunities available through courses on campus. Music played throughout the Student Center while students registered for the event, (simply by signing in) made their rounds being sure to ask for their “passports” to be “stamped.” “The passports serve as
an ice breaker and start the conversation,” said transfer/ career counselor Lezra Chenoportillo. “Stamps” were stickers received through an interaction with the booth representatives including a learned fact and a fact about something the attendee liked pertaining to the booth. “All radio stations on the west coast begin with a K and on the east coast they begin with a W, except in Pittsburgh,” was a fact shared by Jesus “DJ El Diablo” Arellano, 26, at the Broadcasting booth. Passports filled with three stamps were redeemed as vouchers for lunch. Instructors from various departments also attended Major Fair and students were encouraged to introduce themselves before actually
PHOTO BY JOEANNA LOPEZ/ TIMES STAFF
Students gather in the Student Center to get information about the different departments and programs offered at SJCC during the major fair on Wednesday, April 25, 2018. taking the professor’s courses. “Going to office hours and learning how to communicate and converse with my community college professors prepared me to connect
efficiently and respectfully with my university professors,” said former SJCC and current UC Santa Cruz community studies undergraduate, Julia Vasquez. UC Santa Cruz, DeVry
University, eBay and Google were among the information booths set up for the event as well as SJCC’s MECHA program. “Major Fair gives students the command and lead to ‘shop around’ and ask questions to those directly in the know regarding their major interests,” said Chenportillo, “This is one of the many great opportunities Major Fair boasts.” Cal Hills and Milpitas High School sent incoming freshmen to attend the event, they were able to make first impressions and get their name and face in front of possible future classmates and instructors. If you missed out on Major Fair and would like more information on the certificates and degrees offered through programs and courses on campus contact transfer/career counselor Chenportillo at lezra.chenportillo@sjcc.edu
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2 Opinion
Tuesday, May 8, 2018
ASG encourages leadership with conference at SJCC
Students leave their brilliance on a leash with lack of interest in student government BY REGINALD WEBB TIMES STAFF
About the Staff Managing Editor Joeanna Lopez Photo Editor Benjamin Castro Sports Editor Giovanni Gaxiola Graphic Artists Alix Duhon Nicholas Johnson Reporters & Photographers John Lopez Reginald Webb Faculty Adviser Farideh Dada
The SJCC Associated Student Government should be applauded for hosting the Leadership Conference for Social Change. Providing students a platform upon which they can discuss issues they have a passion for or causes they want to advocate with those who share similar concerns is exactly the type of campus and community engagement necessary to help move society forward. It is the role a community college should play. Regrettably, SJCC is about to hold elections and once again an insufficient amount of candidates have stepped forward. It is understandably difficult to make time for some because of work and children, but serving has value. It empowers your ability to have an impact for the betterment of everyone and your own well-being. The obstacles are real as far as serving. SJCC’s location in the center of town next to a freeway makes it a commuter school and as such makes it easy to access which means being able to leave campus also. Campus life is very important. It will be the last time in most of our lives where we can have a significant impact on our learning
and recreational environment. Leadership is an invaluable attribute. It is a unique quality of human behavior that is ever changing for everyone. Leadership is compelled, instigated by its absence and many of us get that feeling someone needs to step up and take charge of the situation. Moreover, leadership is not just taking charge it is a critique of how we take charge and what type of attributes we exemplify to achieve our objectives within a team or group. Enthusiasm, vision, humility, courage, and character top my list of leadership attributes. College is a good place for one to hone his or her skills with regard to leadership. Establishing a narrative of achievement that shows leadership will open opportunities such as admission to top graduate schools winning scholarships, or getting an internship at one of the highly profitable companies here in the Silicon Valley. Academically, leadership in class is shown by being prepared and then willing to start the conversation. Ignore your reluctance and attempt to answer the question posed by your instructor. Have confidence that
the perspective you contribute will benefit the conversation as a whole. This is what sets institutions apart from each other. The students who are applying leadership in the classroom contribute towards a more robust and provocative conversation on a given subject and add prestige to the department. Here at SJCC we see reminders of encouragement like “unleash your brilliance.” Choosing to remain indecisive and timid will leave your brilliance on a leash. Many current students have children. As parents engaging with your community is necessary. If you want the best for your children then maximizing your potential and that of the community’s is good parenting. Upward mobility is inter-generational. We have no control over where we came from. Our parents may not know how essential leadership is due to their own upbringing or occupation. This does not have to be an impediment. This is why it is always important to keep an open dialogue with a trusted instructor, counselor, or administrator that you have carved out a relationship with.
SJECC District chancellor to retire
President Byron Breland named interim chancellor for 2018-2019
BY REGINALD WEBB TIMES STAFF
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Deborah Budd is retiring as Chancellor of San Jose-Evergreen Community College District. The Chancellor since 2015, will retire this summer. “It has been a joy to see our incredible progress during my time at SJECCD and I am retiring this summer with a profound sense of gratitude for having been a part of the district during such an incredible period,” according to an SJECCD press release on the Chancellor’s retirement. During her tenure the district asked voters to pass the 748 million dollar bond, Measure X, expanded with an extension campus in Milpitas for dual enrollment with district high schools and debuted San Jose Promise, to name a few highlights. According to the 2017 Annual Report, the SJCC-EVC District achieved a 33 percent increase in the number of Associate Degrees, reaffirmed accreditation, for both colleges from the Accrediting Commission for Community and Junior Colleges, Western Association of Schools and Colleges, and increased fall 2017 enrollment by 7.9 percent from the previous fall term. “I want to thank Chancellor Budd for her outstanding work and visionary leadership during her tenure as SJECCD chancellor,” said SJECCD Board President Maya Cruz in the press release. Pasadena Star News reported that San Jose City College President Byron Breland was recently a finalist for Superintendent of Pasadena City College along with Cliff Davis, currently vice chancellor of the Springfield, Missouri-based Ozarks Technical Community College System. Breland pulled out of consid-
PHOTO BY JOEANNA LOPEZ / TIMES STAFF
Dr. Breland (left) speaks to Times reporter Reginald Webb at the San Jose City Recognition Ceremony, April 26.
eration after being offered the job of interim chancellor for the SJCC-EVC District for the next academic year. Breland has served as president of San Jose City College since 2013. “I am blessed to have been
given this opportunity,” Breland said. He articulated his confidence and faith in the team he has been a part of and inherits as interim chancellor. Vice President of Administrative Services, Jorge Escobar
cited Breland’s wealth of experience and “visionary leadership” as president of San Jose City College as being a major asset for the district as Breland assumes the role of chancellor.
Tuesday, May 8 2018
A&E 3
Game over for ‘Ready Player One’? Movie Review
The newest Spielberg venture struggles with an identity crisis BY NICHOLAS JOHNSON TIMES STAFF
For all sad words of tongue or pen the saddest are these: “I liked ‘Ready Player One.’” This is the first thing I tweeted after leaving the theater April 6. Though I wrote it in ironic jest, this statement wasn’t exactly far from my general feelings about the film. For weeks leading up to the release of the film, directed by Steven Spielberg, my Twitter feed was filled with people decrying the movie for being a shallow, cynical 80s nostalgia cashgrab emblematic of the late-stage capitalist society we live in. They aren’t wrong, really. Despite the negativity, I still felt compelled to see the movie, as I am not entirely against 80’s nostalgia, and trust Spielberg as a director. Based on a novel by Ernest Cline, “Ready Player One” follows the protagonist Wade Watts, who lives in a densely packed slum filled with towers of mobile homes. Despite the apparent poverty these people find themselves living in, seemingly everyone can afford VR headsets to play a game called the Oasis, which is essentially a futuristic version of the early 00s chatroom game Second Life. The Oasis is by far the most interesting part of the film. It essentially allows users to be and do anything they want, and provides the vehicle driving the plethora of references. Background characters in the film are mostly characters from movies or video games, and in some
cases, the CG models seem to be directly imported from the source material. While some may see this as laziness, it actually adds a layer of believability to the world; people rip the models from video games to use as their character in chatroom games to this day. The film left me with a longing to play the game, something I haven’t experienced since watching Spy Kids 3D as a kid, which has a very similar premise. Of course, the pop culture references have a plot explanation: the creator of the Oasis hid keys to find a golden Easter egg, and whoever finds it first gains control of his company, and by extension, the Oasis, which is basically existence for a large part of the people playing it. To aid in this task, the creator left an archive of everything he did in his life: every movie he watched, every video game he played, every conversation he had while developing it. An entire rival company has sprung up to try and find the egg, along with a handful of the most obsessed players. For the most part, it’s hard to remember that this is a Spielberg movie. Most of it takes place in the Oasis, and is computer animated. The scenes that take place in real life do exhibit a good bit of his signature style though, especially the last few, to the point where it felt emotionally manipulative. Spielberg is a master of the craft, and a lot of what I liked about this movie was what I could recognize as being distinctly Spielberg. Something should be said of the references in this
movie. The film takes a very cavalier approach to using references, often throwing things in without context or consideration to the tone of the source material. I found myself physically reacting to some in the theater. Why would the Iron Giant be used as a war machine? How come they didn’t count to three before throwing the Holy Hand Grenade? Some may be satisfied with simply seeing something they like referenced, but I feel like a movie that uses references as a gimmick should at least be more faithful to the things they’re pulling them from. “Ready Player One” is, to put it simply, a strange movie. Even though the references littering the movie are for a generation in their 40s and 50s at this point, the plot feels more like a teenage dystopia adventure novel, not unlike “The Hunger Games” or “The Maze Runner,” making it a bit confusing determining who the movie is for; the kids seeing the film won’t get the references, and the adults will find themselves cringing at the juvenile themes. However, the inescapable charm of Spielberg’s direction and the sheer spectacle of seeing Spawn charge in to battle alongside a squad of “Halo” characters and the Delorean from “Back to the Future” makes this something worth seeing.
Fortnite running its course Highly popular game could be irrelevant by tomorrow BY GIO GAXIOLA TIMES STAFF
Many video games often start out as hot selling items, then fade into irrelevance. One game has pushed that myth to the brink. “Fortnite.” This game has become highly popular over the last couple of months. It seems anyone and every one is playing this game. “Fortnite” celebrations have found their way into MLB highlight reels. Boston Red Sox Shortstop Xander Bogaerts does a “Fortnite” dance after each extra base hit. The whole Houston Astros outfield meet in centerfield and celebrate the final out with a Fortnite dance. According to pcgamesn. com “Fortnite” now has an estimated 45 million downloads, with 3 million being everyday concurrent numbers. Those are high numbers for a game that is nearly a year old. “Fortnite” is a “battle royale” game. You and 99 other players start off on a flying bus. The bus then flies over a huge map at a randomly generated direction. Players then decide when to jump out of the bus. When they land, it is a free for all. In order to win, you must outlive the other 99 players who are trying to kill each other and you. This is one of the major problems in
“Fortnite.” Too many players in one session. You can try to kill one player, then another player comes out of nowhere and kills both of you. While people say this makes the game more challenging and winning feel more rewarding, it is just one big nuisance. The thing that sets “Fortnite” apart from other battle royal games is the materials and build system in the game. Players can harvest materials and use them to build walls, stairs, doors, and traps. The problem is people who spend hours building structures to become “Campers.” So how did “Fortnite” get so popular? The games developer Epic Games hit the jackpot with some clever luck and smart marketing strategies. They first made the game PHOTO COURTESY OF ARTIE MYERS “free” but in the beta phase, Artie Myers playing and winning a game of fortnite at his house on Wednesday, May, 2. meaning gamers would be able to play the game; however, it was not totally finished streamed with pro Fortnite receiver Juju Smith-Schuster, game is no different. and some players may have player “Ninja” and NFL Pro Los Angeles Lakers Guard By the time the game hits experienced bugs and glitches. Josh Hart and Boston Celtics Juju Smith Schuster. The two years of release, the This gave Epic Games free stream generated more than 4 Guard Gordon Hayward are player count will die down marketing and free game million concurrent watchers just a few of the high profile significantly. Yes, they will testers. Players would send and “Fortnite’s” popularity athletes who play this game. keep adding in new guns, reports to Epic Games on These athletes then live stream skyrocketed. costumes and other game ways to fix its game, making The main problem with a themselves playing this game mechanics; however, people it a brilliant strategy to save game that generates popularity will lose interest. Gamers will and numerous fans tune into money, while working out the the stream, with the possibility this quickly is it tends to get be on the next big game of kinks in their game. stale and lose player fanbase of playing the same game the moment. It is sad to think Epic Games’ stroke of luck as the pros on their favorite fast. All video games run now; enjoy “Fortnite” while came when pro athletes and their natural course of losing teams. it’s still popular. It will be an celebrities began to play the popularity. As someone who The most famous person irrelevant game by next year. game. has been playing video games to recently play Fortnite Pittsburgh Steelers wide for more than 20 years, this is the artist Drake. He live
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4 Campus News
Tuesday, May 8, 2018
Nationally ranked cosmetology department shows its depth of talent at annual Spring Fair REGINALD WEBB TIMES STAFF
Fresh off an announcement of being ranked 3rd nationally, according to schools .com, San Jose City College Cosmetology Department held its Annual Spring Fair, celebrating its 61st anniversary on Friday, April 27 at private party venue, The Glass House in Downtown San Jose. Cosmetology students learn their craft in a work environment. They are required to do 1600 hours and pass the state exam. “Our average passing last year was 92 percent,” Eugenia Del Rosario-Fontella, Cosmetology Department coordinator, said referring to the required State Board examination, “the written is a little lower at 86 percent and the practical 94 percent, averaging to 92 percent.” Pointing out the strengths of the department, Fontella said, “Instructors and faculty are willing to do whatever they can for the students to succeed.” Students began a frenzied Friday early in the morning preparing for the friendly
interdepartmental competition in the afternoon. Students were judged on how well they were able to execute their skills within a two and a half hour time frame with a live model. Later in the evening students kicked off spring with a robust runway show reflecting the strength of cosmetology at SJCC. Students were recognized for attendance and store sales. Awards were announced for winning Student / model groups of both seniors and freshmen in several categories from earlier in the day. This type of competition and collaboration allows for all students to succeed. Whitney Mugomba, club president and award winning senior, said that the judges were looking for “total make-up, hair and nails, they wanted to make sure everyone had a chance to win something, and to embrace everybody’s creativity.”
Freshman technician Layla Ojeda applies makeup to her model Emily Sonner during the 2018 Cosmetology Spring Hair Competition held in the cosmetology building at SJCC on Friday, April 27. Ojeda and Sonner placed Second in “Makeup,” First in “Hair” and Second in the “Total Look” categories at the Spring Hair show held at The Glasshouse later that night. Senior technician Lynnette Fomby puts the final touches on the design she is shaving into model Matthew J. Dianatkhah’s head during the 2018 Cosmetology Spring Hair Competition held in the cosmetology building at SJCC on Friday, April 27. Fomby and Dianatkhah won the “Sleek/Smooth Style” in the “Specialty Hair” category at the Spring Hair show held at the Glasshouse later that night.
Right: Model Tashiona Morrow struts down the runway sporting this peacock inspired design by technician Jalecia Olden during the 2018 Spring Hair show held at the Glasshouse in down town San Jose on Friday, April 27. Olden and Morrow took Third place in the freshman class for the “Total Look” category, which includes hair, makeup and outfit.
Model Allison Burns looks down at the gem stones that are being applied to her by technician Jocelyn Arias during the 2018 Cosmetology Spring Hair Competition held in the cosmetology building at SJCC on Friday, April 27. Arias and Burns placed Third in “Makeup” and Fourth in “Hair” at the Spring Hair show held at the Glasshouse later that night.
Senior technician Farrah S. Masouris (left) and her model Brandi L. Fessler react after hearing they won First place in the “Total Look” category, which includes hair, makeup, nails and outfit, during the 2018 Spring Hair show held at the Glasshouse in downtown San Jose on Friday, April 27. Masouris and Fessler also won the “Updo Style” in the “Specialty Hair” category, and placed third in “Hair” and First in “Makeup.” Model Kayla De La Cruz stops and poses at the end of the runway featuring this look by senior technician Liliana Santos Diaz during the 2018 Spring Hair show held at the Glasshouse in down town San Jose on Friday, April 27. Diaz and De La Cruz won “Braiding Style” in the “Specialty Hair” category. PHOTOS BY BENJAMIN CASTRO/ TIMES STAFF
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Tuesday, May 8, 2018
opinion 5
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6 Campus Life Dental assisting No. 1 in the nation Schools.com has found SJCC to be the best dental assisting program in the nation. The dental program carries a maximum of 30 students per semester and offers an Associate of Science degree, which is a two-year program.
Limited job placement is available to students who have received a certificate in dental assisting from the college. Licensing, however, is conducted solely by the state. Editor’s note: This story has been updated with accurate information.
Tuesday, May 8, 2018
SJCC DJ Big Nick interviews journalism students
Cosmetology ranked 3rd in the nation PHOTO COURTESY OF BETSY GEBHART BRODCASTING INSTRUCTOR
Journalism students Joeanna Lopez and Nick Johnson are interviewed by DJ Big Nick in the broadcast studio April 25.
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can be obtained but only through the state,” Arce said. Schools.com decision is based on criteria that includes graduation rates, tuition rates, as well as program size, prominence, and support services, among other things.
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Schools.com collected data from the National Center for Education Statistics and has ranked the SJCC HVAC program 5th in the nation. “The HVAC program presently carries approximately 300 students per semester,” said Francisco Arce, Dean of the HVAC program. “HVAC certification
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Francisco Arce, dean of Buisness and Workforce Devlopment
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HVAC program ranked 5th in the nation
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Cosmetology coordinator Gina Fontela looks up statistics in the cosmetology office Thursday, April 26. technical training schools, There are thousands comparison analysis with other of beauty schools listed similar programs around the nationally and community country has ranked SJCC 3rd colleges dominate this list. nationally; basing its decision “Private schools charge on criteria, which includes tuitions as high as $20,000,” graduation rates, tuition said SJCC cosmetology rates, as well as program coordinator Gina Fontela, size, prominence and support whereas SJCC charges only services, among other things. a fraction of this cost in “The No. 1 ranked beauty comparison and has an overall school in the nation for 2018 pass rate of 92 percent. is Clovis College of New Schools.com, a nationally Mexico, followed by the 2nd recognized clearinghouse ranked Fullerton College in for all degree and certificate southern California,” Fontela programs from four-year said. community college and career
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to 1 p.m. Listeners can tune in to KJCC Radio, online at kjcclive.com and on campus at 104.1 FM. The broadcasting programming schedule is repeated on Saturday and Sunday. Email radiobroadcastingclass@gmail.com for the programming schedule.
DJ “Big Nick” Santos of San Jose City College’s KJCC Radio hosted Times Staff managing editor Joeanna Lopez and graphic illustrator Nicholas Johnson on April 25, on his radio show. Santos’ show is on every Wednesday from noon
The end of the year is near, it is almost time for graduation and for SJCC students who have earned a degree, certificate or transfer to celebrate. SJCC will offer three commencement ceremonies in May. - American Indian Graduation will be hosted in the Gym on Wednesday, May 16, 2018 from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. for American Indian High School, College and University graduates and students moving from one class level to the next. - La Raza Commencement will be hosted in the Gym on Friday, May 18 at 4.30 p.m. by the Latino Education Association. This special event is a bilingual/bicultural ceremony for students by RSVP sign up. - SJCC Commencement Ceremony will take place at the Santa Clara Convention Center (next to Levi's Stadium) on Friday, May 26, at 10 a.m.
CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THE SJCC STUDENTS WHO GRADUATE.
The San Jose City College Times Staff was awarded four awards at California News Publishers Association Awards Banquet held at The Lodge at Sonoma Renaissance Resort & Spa in Sonoma on April 14. The SJCC Times Staff was unable to attend the event because lack of funds. Photo Editor Benjamin Castro won first place for both Photo Illustration and Sports Action Photo. Castro also won a finalist award in Photo Illustration. Lauren Quilty was awarded second place for her news story on the repairs in the science building. “This was clearly a story that the college wasn’t interested in being made public but one that needed to be told,” a CNPA judge wrote. “And it was told well.”
Check out exclusive web stories only at www.SJCCtimes.com
Graduation Ceremony
Honoring retiring faculty
What: Outstanding Graduate Nomination. During the May 26 Commencement Ceremony, SJCC Outstanding Graduates will be recognized. These students are nominated by the faculty and staff, and selected by the Commencement Committee. When: Nominations can be submitted via this link by May 14 http://goo.gl/forms/7Vqe1LTZw0 Contact Person: Blake Balajadia, director of Student Development and Activities 408.288.3708, 408.288.3160
What: A reception honoring employees who have announced their retirement and faculty Who have earned tenure during the 2017/2018 academic year When: Wednesday, May 9 from 2 p.m. – 4 p.m. Where: Evergreen Valley College Cullo II
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Tuesday, May 8, 2018
Peer in to a world of pain
Campus Life 7 What are your plans for this summer?
A harrowing essay about the effects of domestic violence BY CINDY DERAS TIMES CONTRIBUTOR
A commonly held belief is that people can easily walk away from their problems, and it may be the case for some people but it is not true for victims of domestic violence. The violence turns a warm loving home into a prison in which the sentencing has no limit. My mother’s prison cell is guarded by a man that took the disguise of a father and husband who broke down its victims both physically and mentally to remind them that they will never find happiness. As young girl, I always remembered my mother working hard day and night. She worked two jobs and rarely missed work, not even for our birthdays or school recitals. She told us that she worked to give us the life we deserve, to keep us clothed with clothes from our favorite stores, and fill the table with our favorite foods. When my mother would get home from an eighteen hour shift, she would walk in to the terrible smell of beer, annoying music that would make her feel like as if her ears were bleeding, and a husband that had the anger of a bull. Her tired hands would have to clean up the mess he left behind. She dragged her feet as she mopped the filthy floor. She was a slave in her own home. My father is an old fashioned man that grew up to believe that a woman’s job is to do the house chores and care for the children whereas the man’s job is to provide for his family. He believed that it was absurd to be present in a child’s life and teased parents who were supportive and showed affection toward their children. His motto was, “a child should always be afraid of their parents.” The only time he would take us out was when it was one of my uncles turn to host the get together. He never wanted to take us in the first place, but because my mother was busy working from dawn to midnight, he had no one to watch over us. After being at my uncle’s house all day with our only form of entertainment being to stare at the wall, we begged him to take us home and begging for hours, he finally agreed. With his unbalanced walk to the car and his tilted head, not a single thought came into his mind that he was putting his girls in danger, but he still drove us home. To this day, I am still surprised that we were lucky enough to never had face death in the eyes every time he drove us home pissed drunk. My mother could not just ignore my father’s irresponsibility, she fought and tried her best to make him understand that his decisions could have ghastly consequences. We would beg her to stop arguing with him and warn her that this argument could take a turn for the worst, but she would just keep yelling and crying, and then the sound of screams begin. Those nights turn into another painful memory. When I think of my father, I don’t think of the time we bonded together and gave each other life changing advice, because it never happened. When I think of my father, I think of the anger and hate I see in his eyes. That loud voice that makes my heart pound faster the closer it gets. His clenched fist that makes me drown in my tears and beg him to stop. When I think of him, I think of the rivers my mother has cried, the physical and mental pain he had caused just to seem like a macho man. I think of that prison cell we are trapped in. I remember my mind being so pure. I had not a care in the world but what cartoon to watch next or what to play with, but that squeaky clean mind became polluted the moment I saw my mother pinned against the wall with a baby in her arms begging him to stop. What makes an innocent child have that instinct to run to her mother’s rescue and block his punches? I hold her hand, telling her not to cry, that life will get better. I continued to hug her while we walked in the cold fall night after he had slammed the door in our faces. This story that has been stuck on replay has convinced me that I am a liar. Life did not get better, because she was still being pinned against the wall and begging for mercy. My words gave her
hope, but in the end my words become another punch to the gut. At a young age, this repetitive scene had made me question my actions, “Am I cause for this terrible life?” My sisters also asked themselves the same question which led us to develop unspoken rules. Don’t be too loud, don’t fight, and complete assigned tasks quickly and quietly. We believed that these unspoken rules may bring the end to this nightmare, but we quickly learned that the end was nowhere near. We then developed new rules, ones to know when to come to my mother’s rescue and what to do when an argument breaks out to prevent the arguments from escalating. We kept the television volume at a minimum so we know when to run to protect her, we picked our words carefully when the fights broke out, and keep your distance. These new rules helped some days, but the outcome was usually the same. Many of my stories about the abuse begin and end the same way. It begins with the music so loud that our ears feel as if they were bleeding. My mother lying in bed exhausted from working and doing house chores, while my father and his brothers are in the patio drinking as if it were their last night on earth. The sound of laughter and insulting jokes about my dear mother are made right outside her window pretending as if they don’t know that she is on the other side. Finally, my mother builds the courage to tell them to put the music down. Her soft but firm voice chokes when he slams the door shut and begins yelling at her with his slurred words, and that’s our cue to run. My tiny body becomes a wall that stands between them, protecting my mother from his dirty hands. His words feel like knives that cut into our hearts and twist when that voice gets louder. Cornered into the wall, I ask him “Why don’t you love us? Why do you always pick the bottle over your own family? If you love us please stop.” My words shut him up, but only temporarily because if he were to walk away, it would mean that he is no man. A man says what goes and lets no one tell him what to do as long as he lives. My tiny body who was once the wall that protected her has now become the target. My eyes are filled with sorrow, my begging gets louder as he walks forward and his clenched fist gets tighter. The rest of the night is blank and now we wait. The Sunday morning after our eyes are empty of tears and our body beginning to heal, we hug each other and think of all the other times those dirty hands touched us with hate. We plan our new lives, a life where we are happy, but those dreams are put to a hold when we see him walking through the bedroom door with breakfast for his wife and flowers that he had picked himself. He kisses her and asks for forgiveness and she accepts. That dream of hers begins to slowly fade as he fills her mind with more lies and promises he has no intention of keeping. A new week means the beginning of the cycle. I prayed after every fight. I prayed that I will someday have a real father, I prayed that I will no longer cry unless they were tears of joy, I prayed that I will be happy. This constant praying and seeing no change had made me lose my faith. I believed that the word of God people preach every Sunday are false. I was convinced that he did not love us, because if he did, then why are we living this life? Although I’ve lost most of my faith, I still pray because it is what gives me hope. My story has taught me that in a world that is filled with rainbows and perky smiles, pain and darkness will always be right around the corner. It hides so intelligently and it is difficult to escape from that it tears its victim until they finally learn that escaping from this dark and painful life will only come in dreams. Domestic abuse is powerful and even if the victims were able to move heaven and earth to escape the abuse, the abuser uses its power hold its victim back, but when that miracle happens when its victim is freed from this nightmare, the abuse has already tattooed itself to the victim’s soul.
COMPILED BY JOEANNA LOPEZ / TIMES STAFF
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