The Gadfly, Vol. XXXIV, Issue 12

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The Gadfly

02

A Thank You for I The student newspaper of St. John’s College 60 College Avenue Annapolis, Maryland 21401 sjca.gadfly@gmail.com www.issuu.com/sjcgadfly www.facebook.com/sjcagadfly Founded in 1980, the Gadfly is the student newsmagazine distributed to over 600 students, faculty, and staff of the Annapolis campus.

Opinions expressed within are the sole responsibility of the author(s).

The Gadfly reserves the right to accept, reject, and edit submissions in any way necessary to publish a professional, informative, and thought-provoking newsmagazine.

The Gadfly meets in Schleiermacher’s sensible self-consiousness every Sunday at 7 PM. God-conciousness required in editorial staff.

Articles should be submitted by Friday at 11:59 PM to sjca.gadfly@ gmail.com.

Staff Nathan Goldman • Editor-in-Chief Ian Tuttle • Editor-in-Chief Hayden Pendergrass • Layout Editor Reza Djalal • Photographer Sasha Welm • Cartoonist Jonathan Barone • Staff Will Brown • Staff Jacob Glass • Staff Andrew Kriehn • Staff Robert Malka • Staff Sarah Meggison • Staff Kevin Morris • Staff Charles Zug • Staff Contributors Leonard Franks Alexandria Hinds Leslie Howard Painter Bob

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want to thank everyone who participated in the Oxfam Fast for a World Harvest this past month. This is the twenty-third consecutive year the fast has been held at the Annapolis campus, and it was my first year coordinating its logistics. This year 118 students and 11 faculty and staff members participated, skipping 232 meals and donating $675 in cash, in addition to the meal plan money. While the number of students donating meals is down from last year, our direct contributions have risen significantly. We can also be proud that so large a proportion of our student population participated, compared to the many other colleges and universities at which Oxfam fasts are held. Exact figures are not yet available, but the total sum raised for Oxfam America will certainly be in excess of $1000. Special thanks should go to Bronté Jones and the staff at the Treasurer’s Office; to Ted Canto and the staff at Bon Appétit; to the Print Shop; and to Shayna Jenkins and Esther Apraku Bondzie, who volunteered their time.

Special and heartfelt thanks go to tutor Jon Tuck, who has single-handedly organized this program for the last 22 years. Without his determination and dedication to Oxfam, we would not have had the opportunity to come together as a community in the spirit of service for so many Thanksgiving seasons. Thank you, Jon, for your continued involvement and guidance.

Sincerely, Alexandria Hinds

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With the rest of the St. John’s community, we mourn the passing of Mr. David Stephenson. A tutor of 49 years, a musician extraordinaire, a man of great humor, kindness, and scholarship, his presence will be greatly missed.

The Gadfly will be remembering Mr. Stephenson in its upcoming issue. We would ask interested students, tutors, members of the administration, and alumni to send remembrances to share in our pages. We welcome you to commemorate Mr. Stephenson as you see fit. Eulogies, anecdotes, stories, poems—we are open to an array of expression. Photographs are also welcome.

Because of space limitations, we ask that you keep remembrances to 900 words. All submissions can be sent to sjca.gadfly@gmail.com.

This final issue of the semester will be published during the week of December 10-14. Like all Gadfly issues, it will be available in full online. Please contact us if you would like to arrange to receive printed copies.

The Gadfly

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!"#$%&'()*+,#-./-0#!"#$%&'()*+),' !"#$%&'()$%(*+, -)./0/)&$'1"%'2%$30/$.& ! Leonard Franks, A’13 Robert Malka

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A’15

ellow Johnnies, friends, classmates: painful. Archons should never have to My name is Robert Mal- rely on paying for things out-of-pocket. ka (’15), and I am declaring my in- The money we give out is yours, and you tent to serve the polity as president of are meant to have it as soon as we can the Delegate Council. I understand that make it available. Under my administrathis is a distinguished and important po- tion, “having it” will mean getting your sition that impacts the entire Polity, and money before the first forty days of the humbly propose that I have the ability, semester are up, and policies will be deexperience, and vision to do justice to veloped and enforced to make sure that the position. this kind of delay never happens again.

In case you want a refresher, the 2. Maintaining the DC as a respectCouncil is tasked by our constitution able and legitimate body. On this point with managing student funds; commu- we have come a long way, but there is nicating concerns from still much to be done. the Polity to the adminMany students still do My name is Robistration and vice versa; not know or care about and creating and manwhat the Council does, ert Malka, and I aging Polity Law (if you while those who do am declaring my inremember last year’s tent to serve the pol- know of it often speak proposed Hate Speech of it with disdain. If ity as president of the I am elected, issues Law, that’s a great exDelegate Council. ample). The president from the administrasets the agenda accordtion will reach you ing to his vision and the needs of the Pol- quickly and transparently, questions will ity, facilitates budgeting, runs meetings, be responded to promptly, and your conand communicates directly on behalf of cerns will be dealt with efficiently. the Council to the administration.

3. Passing a new constitution. If you This ties in well with the investment I haven’t read the undergraduate constihave already put into the campus. I have tution, I urge you to. It’s a terribly writbeen on the Council since my freshman ten, typo-riddled, unclear document. year, and since then have worked hard And worse, it is in the student handbook to voice the concerns of, and advocate given to freshmen! That is why I have for, my peers and classmates, both in DC led the charge on rebuilding our constimeetings and out. I am also on the Gad- tution, both because it is not nearly at fly staff; co-founder and vice-archon of the level of quality we should expect as Polity Radio; founder and archon of the a document representing our Polity and new Alexander Hamilton Society chap- because it needs to reflect the changes ter, which dedicates itself to foreign pol- that the DC has experienced in the past icy discussion; and I attend intramurals two years. and dance lessons as a thumotic (and These are my three big points, but mediocre) athlete. Being involved in there are many other things I want to these different activities gives me a well- do for you through the Council, such as rounded view of what is happening on working with the Committee on Student campus and what concerns need to be Life (CSL) on hosting after-seminar paraddressed. ties and tutor/student discussions. I also So what will I do to improve the Coun- want to talk with you to brainstorm new cil as president? I can distill my platform ideas for the DC. This is our Polity, and into three promises: the Council represents us. I will do ev1. No more budget crises. If you’re erything in my power to make sure that part of any club on this campus, you’ve it evolves with us, instead of becoming a probably heard about it: the Council transient fad, with its leaders elected by only days ago disbursed funds to clubs, popularity contest. two weeks before the end of the semesI thank you and my opponents for the ter. Watching this as a delegate was gen- opportunity and privilege to run, and I uinely heartbreaking, and having to ex- hope to work with you all as president of plain this to constituents was even more the Delegate Council. !

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04

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The Gadfly

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For several years she was the voice of classical music on NPR. Lisa Simeone, A’79, sounds off on how St. John’s helped her climb to the top of radio.

What is your current job?

I’m a freelancer in writing and radio. I’ve done everything from classical music to pop to news. I now host two nationally syndicated shows—World of Opera and the Chicago Symphony Orchestra Series (I was recently fired from a hosting gig at a third show, a documentary series called Soundprint, because of my political activities). I also write for Style Magazine— both regular articles on all sorts of subjects and a fashion blog called Glamour Girl—and have written for the Baltimore-area Urbanite and the Baltimore Sun. I now do all of my work from home.

Did you attend other schools after St. John’s?

Yes, eventually. I attended the non-fiction program of the Writing Seminars at The Johns Hopkins University almost 20 years after I’d graduated from St. John’s, and got a Master’s Degree.

Did you know what you wanted to do while attending St. John’s?

Not at first. In grade school and high school I always thought I would be a writer—a poet or novelist. But I discovered a love of classical music—which I learned about at St. John’s by being exposed to so many kids from all over the country (also where I discovered Joni Mitchell and Leonard Cohen)—and started listening to classical music on the radio, and decided that talking about great music all day sounded like a pretty fun job.

Did St. John’s help prepare you for work in the field?

I think St. John’s helps prepare you for work in any field. I didn’t decide to go into radio because of the music tutorial.

But I decided to go into radio because of the classical music I discovered by being at St. John’s, because of the other kids I was exposed to, their musical tastes, their backgrounds, their lives. And being on the radio means more than just mastering one particular field of music. You’re talking to people. You’re communicating with them. To be good at it, you have to be able to talk about a wide variety of things. You have to be a generalist, not a specialist. A deejay (wow, what an old-fashioned concept!) isn’t a musicologist. At least, I don’t want to listen to one like that.

I’ve said it a thousand times and I’ll say it again: there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t read something, hear something, or see something that I better understand or appreciate because of what I learned at St. John’s. It’s not a matter of raw knowledge (well, sometimes it is); it’s a matter of making connections. I believe in the beauty and utility of a common background, a common well of knowledge, just as I believe in the

beauty and utility of learning completely new things.

When a painting depicts Leda and the Swan, I understand it, I know what the creator is talking about. When an author makes a reference to Odysseus, I immediately think “polytropos” and everything that goes along with that. My understanding of Renaissance art has been immeasurably enriched by my reading of the Bible, which I never would’ve done without St. John’s. In fact, I like to quip that even though I’m an atheist, I know more about the Bible than thousands of believers. I also have a political phrase that I realize I use because of St. John’s: “A police state doesn’t have to spring fully formed like Athena from the head of Zeus. It can grow gradually, incrementally, step by step.” All these things that now come “naturally” to me are a result of my education at St. John’s.

What didn’t St. John’s prepare you for?

I suppose you could say it didn’t prepare me for highly specialized fields, like medicine or law, but then I didn’t want to be a doctor or a lawyer. And, anyway, I have SJC friends who became doctors and lawyers, and they’d probably say St. John’s prepared them for that! I don’t feel I missed anything or missed preparing for anything by going to St. John’s. On the contrary.

How did you feel you compared, in graduate school or early jobs, to people from different educational backgrounds, particularly those with field-related degrees?

I don’t think I’ve worked with anyone who came from a socalled communications background. I did work with one person who came from a musicology background. And I think you can hear that in her presentation: more didactic, more formal. I never felt deficient—well, that’s not entirely true. I felt the deficiency of youth. I felt that I had to prove myself. But I think all young people (if they’re not either phenomenally accomplished or highly arrogant) feel that. I was immediately successful in radio, and that surprised and delighted me.

As for grad school, well, I was 40 years old then, thrown in with a bunch of 20-somethings. But it wasn’t the age difference that caused problems; it was the god-awful post-modern lit crit stuff. It was obvious I hadn’t grown up with that crap and all I could do to keep a straight face when a fellow student started talking that way. Frankly, you wouldn’t believe some of the stories I have; you’d say I was embellishing. Suffice to say I was never so thankful I had gone to St. John’s as at those moments.

Continued On

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The Gadfly Continued From

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Can you describe a general track someone from St. John’s might take to get into a career in this field?

Grunt work. Volunteering or internships.

Everyone I know in this field cut their teeth this way. I started by volunteering at a tiny, 10-watt community college station. Then went on to volunteering at a professional station. Then eventually got a paying job there.

How did you market yourself with a St. John’s degree?

I’ve always been proud of my St. John’s degree. I didn’t feel the need to defend it, and often—not always—found that people were already familiar with St. John’s. At the same time, I didn’t trumpet it, didn’t hold it up as something special (even though I think it is!). It was just a bullet point on my resume, along with everything else. I do think that, as I’ve already said, a liberal arts degree prepares you for anything, and it’s worth reminding people of that.

How would you characterize your field as a whole? Is it accessible to newcomers or difficult to enter? Stable or fluid?

Etc. Wow. The entire field of media has changed so much. And is changing constantly. So “fluid” is definitely the answer. But there’s always room for newcomers. That’s never going to be a problem. If anything, this field—like so many (all?) others—is more receptive to newcomers than to old-timers like me. A fresh voice, a new personality, is always going to find opportunity.

What was your senior essay topic?

Le Misanthrope by Molière. Which is both fitting and amusing, since today, as my husband will tell you, though I can (and do) talk to anyone, I’m a misanthrope at heart!

What is your favorite book on the Program?

Probably any of the Ancient Greek plays, both tragedies and comedies. I’m just as bowled over by Euripides as I am by Aristophanes. I had started writing about Euripides and the concept of memory for my senior essay topic, but found that my thoughts were simply too inchoate. Now that so much new neurological research is available, a lot of those unformed thoughts make more sense.

Do you find that you lead a philosophical life?

Yes, but then I always did. From childhood, I always questioned things. It’s just that now I have a bigger vocabulary for it. !

OurInferno:

The Newest Johnnie YouTube Series Sarah Meggison

I

A’15

believe it is fair to say that St. John's and the program have an interesting way of nudging themselves into our lives. We interpret this school in different ways based on who we already are and who this school is turning us into, and we all do different things with that interpretation. Junior Graham Gallagher does a YouTube series.

There are a few posters littered about campus, hand drawn and photocopied, featuring phrases like "There is no Noble Lie" and the number 1909 with an X through the 0. The series is called OurInferno; Gallagher writes, shoots, and stars. The series also features junior Jess Kjellberg and sophomore Brian Fitzpatrick. There are currently eight episodes, but there are several more to be released quite soon.

Gallagher plays what appears to be an alternate version of himself; the character attends St. John's after going on medical leave from the Maryland National Guard. He has found a video camera and decides to record parts of his daily life at school. But as the episodes progress, the videos become increasingly more glitchy, and the character finds him haunted by a faceless monster as well as bizarre messages and symbols (such as "Barr and Buchanan set this in motion”).

Gallagher had this to say about OurInferno: What led you to making these videos?

I was inspired a lot by Marble Hornets and Tribe Twelve, two excellent Youtube series that first put a face, or lack thereof, to the antagonist of the series.

And growing up, I was always a fan of mystery series. The two just kind of came together and the series was born.

You took a year off to join the military. How did that influence your series?

The fictional version of me who is the protagonist is dealing with an unspecified event from his past, which is a catalyst for these events, possibly. And for me, the Monster is representative of the moral qualms of being in the military that still haunt me constantly. I have to remind myself that I joined to protect people and not to kill them.

Why a found-footage type of format?

Found footage to me is scarier than third-person horror, particularly in an episodic context, because it offers months or even years with the protagonist, instead of just two hours to get to know them and see them either die or overcoming an obstacle.

Why feature Annapolis and St. John's so heavily?

It will become more apparent as the series fleshes itself out more. But I wanted to include St. John's in the storyline, if only because this is a very personal work.

General statement regarding OurInferno: Above all, at its core, this is a work about helplessness and anxiety, rather than fear. Fear is a very different animal. Fear is a reaction rather than a motivator.

Anxiety is more of an undercurrent.

You can check out the series and subscribe at www.youtube.com/ourinferno .!

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The Gadfly

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eza Djalal

What can you say about the plot behind Fuddy Meers?

In short, it’s about a woman who has a rare form of amnesia where every morning she wakes up and can’t remember anything about her life. The play takes place in one day and revolves around the woman trying to get answers out of her ridiculously dysfunctional family.

In addition to being a comedy, would you say that Fuddy Meers also has elements of suspense, mystery, or drama?

There is definitely some suspense. Or rather, the urge to find out what the hell is going on. The audience is meant to discover the truth along side the leading lady, so mystery and suspense are major elements.

How did you discover Fuddy Meers, and what about it made you want to direct it yourself?

I originally intended to do a different comedy, when a student told me he had read this and was on the floor laughing. I read it and pretty much did the same. As I read it, I saw it play so smoothly through my mind, I couldn’t resist. I’ve usually acted in the past, and as a first-time director I wanted to work with a piece that relied on the relationship between the action on stage and the audience, rather than the actor and his character. We’ve done a lot of work on what kind of performance would be funniest to the audience and why.

I’ve heard that Fuddy Meers will have a more extensive set than other KWP productions. What went into this part of the play, and were there any complications?

The play is absurd, so I decided the set should be, too. I didn’t know the set was so elaborate until I tried to build it. A large part of the set is on platforms, which were incredibly difficult to build properly. Seven people have to run all over it, so stability was crucial. Honestly, I’m very happy with the results.

With so many theater-related activities going on this semester, did you have trouble putting together a full roster of actors?

Our small student population tends to be a problem for KWP for things such as this. Luckily, we had a decent turn out, and I still believe the best decision I’ve made yet in this play was my cast. They’re phenomenal. However, it would be wonderful if

A’15

more people came out to audition in the future.

Humor, it seems, relies heavily on the unexpected. Having watched the play many times, did it get harder to determine what was funny and what wasn’t?

I had the opportunity to meet a director at a movie premiere over the summer, and I asked her what the most important thing was to remember when you’re directing. She said “ You have a vision, you’re excited, and then you start. Suddenly you’re so preoccupied with ‘the way he says this line’ or ‘that shade of blue’ or ‘this one prop,’ it’s difficult to see the big picture. Don’t ever lose sight of what you first had in mind.” I shrugged it off, thinking it wouldn’t be a problem. It was the biggest problem. I can’t tell what’s funny any more, and neither can my actors. Good thing is, that means they’re so into it, it’s just smooth now. Good thing for me is, I get to relive it when I sit down with the audience and watch it on Friday. Rediscovering your vision through your audience is the best part of this. It’s like watching a kid open presents at Christmas.

What does Fuddy Meers mean, anyway?

Like I said, the play is absurd. We frequently use absurdity to cover things that should probably stay unveiled, even if it’s hard. If you want to unveil the meaning of the title, you’ll have to unveil the rest of the story and come see the play.

Fuddy Meers will premiere this Friday, December 7, during the usual lecture spot (8:15 pm). A following performance will be held Saturday, December 8, at 1 pm.

The Gadfly

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!"#$%&#&'()*+#$,-.(/(-& As the winter sports season kicks off, resident sports guru Jonathan Barone discusses that most difficult of all jobs–being a referee. His message in short: Call them umpires, zebras, or stripes; just do not call them bad names.

Jonathan Barone

A

A’13

s we approach the wintry months and the intramurals pecially, we know them as athletes. Because of this, we justify shift their focus from the field to the court, I’d like to take (unconsciously or not) our indignation and our scorn. We can some time to converse about an issue at the source of contro- begin to blame the outcome of the game on the refs and focus versy. It’s a topic relevant in all sports, but one particularly so our energy and concentration on them instead of the game. in our program. I’m talking, of course, about refereeing.

We can allow these personal feelings to interfere with our reI realize that, in one sense, I’m observing from the outside lationships with them. looking in. I have had brief experiNow, I’m not saying that we ences reffing games, but never in a should revere the referees as gods, Now, I’m not saying that we should hotly disputed game. I have never revere the referees as gods or that we or that we shouldn’t talk to them. had harsh accusations leveled at But I think, more often than not, we shouldn’t talk to them. But I think, me, nor have I been able to distribcross the line from witty heckling to more often than not, we cross the ute technical fouls or red cards. But destructive banter. To put it bluntline from witty heckling to destrucat the same time, this is one of the ly, we don’t treat the referees with tive banter. To put it bluntly, we don’t enough respect, the respect that many topics that is rarely, if ever, treat the referees with enough retalked about: namely, how we treat they deserve. They’re the ones who referees here at St. John’s. spect, the respect that they deserve. are coming out and trying their best Granted, my experience with preto enable the intramural program.

St. John’s sports is limited to two and a half years playing rug- Granted, I think refs owe it to the program to learn their sports by, but one thing I’ll never forget from that experience was as best as they can, but they aren’t perfect. They are going to the authority of the referees and the respect with which you mess up, because they’re human. But when they take on their treated them. Only the team captains could address the refs, duties as referees, we owe it to them, to the game, and to the and even then, speech had to be punctuated by many ‘sirs.’ intramural program give them authority and treat them with Even after games, if you were displeased with a ref’s decision, respect. ! it was a sign of respect to thank him after the game anyway.

The referee was the authority on the field, and by playing the game, they were submitting to that authority. If they didn’t, they were penalized. Simple as that. ! Painter Bob Here, we take the refereeing position much more lightly. !"#$%&'#%()#$*$+,#-'./0'-#!1*$#'%)#."#0.)

It’s the students (for the most part) that take up the mantle of refereeing, students who for the most part have had no 2$+$#3/-#-.#3+4(-#%()#5./()#/3#4(#%#5..6 experience reffing before. Students who may not know the 4-#7%,#8./()#64()%#.))9#5/-#!#2./:)#5$intricacies of the rules (I mean, who calls loose-ball fouls?).

Not only that, but the referees are forced to make split-second -$(#-%::#-+$$8#2./:)#"%::#-.#7%-&'#-'$#3/:3 judgment calls, calls which may or may not be right. But from %()#,$-9#-'$#-4-:$#3%0$9#&.(-$(-8#%84)$ what I’ve noticed, the position of being a referee is an unenvi4(8&+45$)#5,#7$#-.#,./9#2./:)#)$)4&%-$ able one. Sure, you may get paid for every game you ref, but that money comes with a price. %#3.+-4.(#."#7,#3+%-4(0#"./()#24-'4(# Now, I am generalizing, but on the whole, the referees are %::#-'$#)$$3#)48&/884.(8#2$#'%*$#'%) completely deprived of grace. As players, we expect them to make the right call every time. In our minds, we will not allow %5./-#-'$#-'./0'-#!#-'4(6#."#7.8-#."#%:: the refs any kind of learning period; they must be proficiently 2'4&'#-'./0'#!1*$#&.7$#-.#8$$9# knowledgeable about their sport. If not, we berate them, we blame them, we disparage them. We will even overlook our # !#).(1-#6(.2#8;/%own mistakes in order to indignantly balk at a referee’s deci!#%:8.#6(.2#(.#'40'$+#&%::#-.#8$$6 sion. I’ve even seen these derogatory comments seep into ev2'%-18#8$$(#%()#'$%+)#4(#$*$+,.($#!#7$$eryday, non-intramural conversations.

And I still don’t really know what causes it. Perhaps it’s the 2'4&'#04*$8#7,#:4"$#-'$#7$%(4(0#."<<<-.#=.*$ intimacy of the intramural setting. Most likely it’s because we know the referees; we know their names, their faces, and, es-

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The Gadfly

08

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On the heels of the recent CSL meeting on Food Services, Leslie Howard takes a stance against the high cost of a cup of tea.

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Leslie Howard

A’15

ince when does water cost money? much a single cup of tea costs based on I don’t mean paying for the running the pricings of each size pack of tea. In a water in your apartment or your force fifteen-pack, a single teabag costs fiftyhot water heater. I mean going to a res- three cents. The Coffee Shop appeared taurant and asking for a cup (not a bot- to be pretty well stocked, so I looked tle) of water. I have always been careful at the ninety-pack: forty-seven cents a with my money, saving where it needs cup; and the hundred-pack: thirty-eight. to be saved (e.g., for next semester’s bal- That’s an average of forty-six cents a cup ance) and spending where it needs to (yes, I figured that out by myself ). That be spent (e.g., on my daily coffee). But means that I essentially spent $1.55 on I have recently experienced some mad- hot water, a cup, and someone to overness in the Coffee Shop, namely, one tea charge me, and the Coffee Shop made bag costing two green ones. something like three hundred percent Sometimes the morning one, two, or profit on my stupid cup of tea. three cups of coffee is just not enough Of course, I know every business has to get one through the to make profit somepeak hours of the day. how, but three hun...I essentially spent Sometimes one needs dred percent seems $1.55 on hot water, a a nice cup of aftera bit extreme. Also, cup, and someone to noon tea. Sometimes charging for extra one runs out of tea water is just ridicuovercharge me, and bags and has to stop lous. Hoping to somethe Coffee Shop made at the Coffee Shop how find an excuse something like three quickly before work. for the Coffee Shop, hundred percent profit I decided to give City I went down there on my stupid cup of tea. Dock a call. A cup of innocently enough, thinking, “Well, one tea there—any size, tea bag will probably only cost about fif- mind you—costs $1.40. Let’s say that’s ty cents, maybe as much as a dollar, plus not including tax, so add six percent, profit, so no way it could be more than and you get yourself a nice cup of tea a buck fifty.” I chose my tea bag from a for $1.48. And that’s their very own “severy nice selection of tea by Two Leaves cret blend,” too! According to an article and a Bud. I was surprised when the by Ralph Heibutzki from smallbusiness. lady at the cash register asked what size chron.com (“The Average Profits for a I wanted before she rang me up, since, Small Cafe”), “a successful cafe’s base having worked in food services myself, I profits should equal roughly 10 to 18 knew that you simply do not charge the percent of its sales.” And, even if one bag customer for the amount of water they of tea costs City Dock forty-six cents, want in their cup, but only for the tea they’re still making way less than three itself. With a confused aspect, I ordered hundred percent profit, and I’m allowed a medium and immediately regretted it, to have as much hot water as can fit in for what should appear on the cash reg- their largest cup, free of charge. ister screen but $2.01. “Two dollars?!”

At first, I was too ashamed to find out my frugal mind screamed. “You’ve got to how much the Coffee Shop charges for a be kidding me!” They weren’t. small and a large, but I mustered up the Now, supposing that perhaps this was courage to ask. As it turns out, a small a very special kind of tea, I went online costs $1.70, and a large costs $2.39. If I to the Two Leaves website to check were any less saddened by this, I would their prices. I even looked at the very have rage instead and would consider tea variety I had chosen (Organic Assam leading the Annapolis Tea Party down Breakfast). To my math-abhorring de- at College Creek. I apologize for the hislight, they had already written out how torical reference, but it had to be said. !

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