Mathew Shih ‘22 The Idealized Body

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The Idealized Body

“The Idealized Body” was written as part of the final project for English IV: Literature as Social Commentary. It is intended to be a chapter from a longer novel titled The Negative Influence which depicts the impact of social media on teen mental and physical health.

“One more time,” said Noah as he took deep breaths.

Jacob sighed in disbelief, “Come on, bro, you’ve already failed your PR twice.” Noah didn’t listen, he looked determined, ready, and lay back down on the bench press. He took a breath, and with both hands, gripped the barbell tightly. The bar slowly lowered to his chest. Noah’s hands shook. It was time to lift it back up.

“Ahhhhhhh, come on!” Noah screamed out loud as he pushed as hard as he could. The barbell stuck to his chest.

Without hesitation, John lifted the weight up and racked it back in its slot. He stood up, took off his shirt and looked into the mirror, flexing. “Why do I look so small? I look like a twig.”

“Bro, you’re not Chris Bumstead. Chillax, you’re big already,” said John. Noah was irritated that his physique didn’t look in the slightest bit like his favorite influencer, Chris Bumstead.

Jacob and John stood next to Noah and flexed. Noah compared himself to Jacob and John, thinking how much bigger their arms were.

Jacob’s eyes crossed Noah’s eyes in the mirror. “Bro, your eyes are messed up. Are you high?”

“Nah, bro, why would I get high before a workout? That stuff makes me tired.”

John asked, “Bro, what time do you go to bed?”

Noah responded, “Like three or four.”

“You gotta go to bed earlier, bruh. You look like shit,” said Jacob.

“Yeah, I know,” Noah said, knowing he’d stay up late anyway. “Alright guys, I’m out, I’ll see you guys tomorrow at seven,” Noah said.

* * *

“Forget this homework,” Noah muttered as he walked to the living room. He whipped out his phone and opened Youtube. Noah sighed and started watching workout videos. After watching a video on “How to get veiny muscles”, he chugged down a protein shake. Taking out his phone again, this time browsing Instagram, Noah looked at the likes of other people. “One thousand, two thousand. Damn, this person has ten thousand likes?”

Noah scrolled down some more, fixating on one post: “Chris Bumstead wins Physique Olympia of the year!” Noah’s eyes opened wider after seeing Chris’ toned obliques, ripped back, iron chest, and not an ounce of fat. He got off the couch and headed to the bathroom mirror. He took off his shirt and flexed. And then pinched himself, grabbing a chunk of loose skin, squeezing a chunk of fat. “Wow, awesome,” Noah said to himself in resentment. Noah looked at his shoulders and thought how puny they were. Noah flexed even harder, trying to make his shoulders pop more. In frustration, he gripped his loose skin even tighter, and tried to get his veins to pop through his abs. The image of Chris’s physique wouldn’t leave Noah’s mind. To Noah, Chris was a Greek God. Chris’s facial features were pristine and more masculine than Noah’s. Chris’s chiseled jawline, towering 6’1’’ height, and mustache were all features Noah dreamed of having but could never achieve. He looked at himself with anger, jealousy, and hatred.

“Hello! I’m home!” shouted Rebecca, Noah’s mom. Noah sprinted to his desktop computer, where he usually did homework, and clicked the power button. Rebecca walked into the computer room. “Hey, what are you doing?”

“Homework!”

Rebecca looked surprised. “Okay, just making sure.”

Rebecca gave Noah a hug, but he just received it, not hugging her back.

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Noah looked at his computer screen. He opened his English homework and yawned. An essay was due and Noah had not started yet.

Six hours later, Noah’s head lay on his desktop. Noah got up, slurping the drool that slipped from his mouth. Noah looked at the bottom corner of his screen to check the time. It was 10:00 P.M. already.

“Oh crap,” Noah said as he panicked. He switched back to his English essay tab and stared at his assignment. After five minutes, “Bing!” a notification went off on Noah’s phone. He opened Instagram to see: “Chris Bumstead gets a new girlfriend.”

Noah opened his mouth, “She’s so pretty.” Noah was thinking about the life he could live if he were Chris Bumstead, more girls, more happiness, and more confidence. Noah shook his head in disbelief. He scrolled through more, seeing other bodybuilders and the big smiles on their faces. He saw how happy they seemed. He was jealous. Noah opened a tab on Youtube. He searched: “how to get rid of all your fat”.

“Dinner’s ready!” Rebecca yelled from the kitchen just as Noah opened the video.

“I’m not hungry!” Noah shouted.

Rebecca walked over to the computer room and stood over Noah. He switched tabs, but realized he hadn’t started his English assignment yet. Rebbeca looked in disappointment. “What have you been doing this entire time?!”

“I’ve been doing math,” he lied.

Recbecca left the room. “Okay, well, your grades better go up.”

Noah had C’s in every class. When she left, he clicked on Youtube. He thought to himself, “I’ll get my essay done in math class. I had English for the last period.” * * *

The next day, Noah’s eyes were baggy and bloodshot. Noah had math first period. His eyes barely opened. Noah rested his head down. He woke to the teacher calling his name. “Noah, what’s the answer to problem 11?”

Noah’s heart started to race.

“Yo, are you high?” another student yelled across the room as the class giggled. Noah started to shake. The kid that yelled across the room was a kid that Noah followed on Instagram. His body was phenomenal. It was much more aesthetic than Noah’s. Noah got up and left the classroom. The other students stared at him as he slouched out.

“Hey, where are you going?” the teacher asked. Noah didn’t listen. On his way to the bathroom, he saw his friend Kate walk by.

“Why are your eyes so red and baggy? What time did you go to bed?” Kate demanded.

“Don’t worry about it,” Noah said.

“What are you doing staying up so late?” Kate asked.

“Social media,” Noah responded.

“How do you even do your homework?”

Noah responded, “I don’t, really.”

“You know social media is fake? People edit their photos and lighting to make themselves look perfect. It’s not good to compare yourself to others on social media because they are fake identities, they’re not even real.”

Noah understood what she was saying but avoided listening to her as much as he could. “Social media is like kryptonite. You need to change. Don’t let social media consume your life,” Kate said and left for class.

- Matthew Shih ‘22

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