Issue 2 by Skelis Magazine

Where mainstream and subculture meet Issue 2

July 2011

Editor

C. Ashley

Writers

Elle Tison Kevin White

M. Caethforwyn Michelle Ross Victoria Nikkoli Heather Marcs Jessica Kent Capri Stone Photography

Ashley Jones

Inside this edition Summer and Leather?

P. 4

Alice Madness Returns Review

p. 5

Do clothes really make the person?

P. 7

Why cookouts and fireworks?

P. 10

Thunder Beach

p. 13

Romance Reality

p. 18

Witcher 2 Review

p. 20

Miss Thunder Beach

p. 22

The Feminine Mistake Part 2

p. 27

Duke Nukem Forever Review

p. 29

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time for a change

p. 31

Up and Coming Bands

p. 33

Zen

p. 34

Move over sports drinks

p. 35

Corset Piercing

p. 36

Summer and Leather? By: Heather Marcs

Seriously? Summer and some of the leather trends this year leave me feeling a bit chaffed and I have not adorned them yet. The designers seemed to have missed the mark with all the rain we have been getting. Even if you are a fashion diva always ready for the latest look from the runway, you must admit that this biker idea is just over the top for the extreme heat and torrent rains we have been receiving across much of the country. It seems to me that if designers truly want to do leather in hot months they could take a page from the gaming community on how to make it short and lighter. There are many wonderful designs out there for their inspiration and to hopefully ensure the customers will not get a stroke from the clothes. This will even work well with that whole new category of loungerie.

Bravo!!! All hail the crochet and lace. This is truly something that can be light and keep everyone cool while looking great. Tail hems are very flirty and allow for a shorter skirt without compromising elegance. Lastly the long shorts and gathered Capri pants are great. This is all light, flirty, and completely not overdone. 4

By:

Kevin White

Wow, talk about a trip into a drug induced, dream scene filled with some of the trippiest shit I've seen since American McGee’s Alice first came out back in the day where the graphics were a steaming shit sandwich. Alice takes you on a romp through a twisted ruin's of the classic wonderland (It’s based of Alice in wonderland Keep up guys) filled with mystical creatures of various magnitudes of wrongness. It simultaneously takes place in the real world and England 1860's which is filled with uggo's and tossers for you to marvel at.

Village of the ugly people aside this game is pretty mind blowing, particularly if you start playing at 2 am after a night of constant motion and forgetting to eat. It’s filled with puzzles, a kitchen knife and a strange 13 year old girl with a kitchen knife that possesses the mystical ability to cut shit in half. It’s a rather handy ability to have as you soon start running into a thing called ruin, a horrid little Tar thing with a porcelain doll face. Given the option, I killed the face... ok that worked out. Why am I collecting teeth? That seems a bit dark.

Turns out its for weapon upgrades but by the time I got there I had a pepper grinder that shot well...Pepper at range to kill things. I like this amount of ridiculous, I can handle the mushroom jumping puzzles and the pretty awesome gothic like outfits that change every time I change chapter. I can handle figuring out dodge and boss mechanics. I can even handle the British accent that games seem to overuse today. What I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t handle... half naked oysters being devoured. Gross.

I guess I should get to the technical bits so I will! Graphically the game is very pretty, colorful, visually stimulating and imaginative. While not being too straining on the processor, the enemies are unique to one another not just reskinned hack jobs. A lot of love went into this game and you can tell even as a player. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a very good thing in an age of brown castles and overly dark areas. Even the lighting is beautiful, sometimes its mushrooms, sometimes floating seahorses, just striking and definitely memorable in that regard.

Combat got cleaned up a lot from the first game. That aside, the combat system is fluid, it slows down for a second right before a big nasty strike so you can hit the easy dodge button and GTF out of the way. It doesn't slow down enough to totally unbalance things. You still can and likely will get hit. Every enemy has a trick to it and all the tricks seem different enough to make you remember that colossal ruin before you run in head on knife a slashing. Best of all, when you're at low health you can opt to enter Hysteria mode for a short while. Everything goes white and you hit a lot harder...of course enemies don't drop anything but its better then dying.. Did I mention you're invulnerable while you are hysterical? Excellent!

Do clothes really make the person? By: Capri Stone

Yes, they do. But, then again, they mask the real person. Remove the clothes and wellâ&#x20AC;Ś.You get the real personality. It is an amazing thing to see what is revealed (no pun intended) by a person removing their clothes. I first experienced this in a rousing drunken game of strip poker in my early 20s. I was always an exhibitionist of sorts that would try almost anything once and this was no exception only I did not just do it once. Once upon a time there was a specific game you could buy specifically for strip poker that had other cards with it, basically combining truth or dare with poker. These cards added in the strip portion as well. These games were all out parties of usually around four people but on occasion more. They also had some wet aspects as I was the host and instigator and very fond at the time of water fights. Those in attendance shall forever remain nameless because a lady does not tell and truly, I am a lady just with a wild streak. Now, you must understand that these were not of the infamous orgy nature; they were actually just getting nude and often taking on dares while being naked. Sex, if it occurred, was optional and much later at the other peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s discretion. Getting naked in front of others in no way means sex or any sexual activities and the many nudist out there will certainly understand this. However, being naked does make a person vulnerable at least the first time it happens and perhaps when not sure of those around you. But, it is also very enlightening when you think you know a person. The removal of clothing in some people lets through their real personality for all that it is. Many people in their day to day lives use clothes to hide their flaws and it goes far beyond the ones on their body. I will talk about the body later but right now letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s start with who a person is. 7

You see your friends each and every day. Some dress completely professional all the time and have to have the best looking, latest, attire. Their hair will be perfect and if female their makeup will always be on. Then, there are the other friends who dress perhaps a little frumpy, with baggy clothes or unkempt appearance. Unfortunately, neither of these appearances tells you who the person really is. Many people think it does but it is never true. Get them out of those clothes and watch how they sit and behave and you will know who they are. The way they walk and handle themselves while nude is very telling. It is subtle though. You cannot just watch the way a person covers up or inverts their body at first and tell who they really are. You have to watch them after the period of time they should have gotten used to the new environment. Then you learn about your friends or colleagues. So, our clothes do make us but they hide the real us often. Yet, there is another point that you can learn about a person when they are nude. Some people may not appear up to par in clothes but out of them their appearance definitely increases on the beauty scale. There are others that without clothes lose attractiveness as well. It had absolutely nothing to do with body size though. The personâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s body type no matter the size can be a thing of beauty. This is why we are not all attracted to the exact same people. When a body is nude the movement is completely different than when it is dressed. That movement become grace and eloquence and creates a beauty all of its own. The person who is a perfect 10 posed in a picture may not have this flow when moving and if their movement is awkward it reduces the beauty. So, really appearances in clothes no matter how little can be deceiving as to the actual beauty of a person. The poker and the water fights tell you a lot about a person as well. It tells you if they are honest for one thing. Unfortunately, a person will still try to cheat at poker even nude but they have less attire to hide cards. The water fights tell you if a person has a playful spirit and good sense of humor. They both tell you how much a person cares about being hidden and if they have the ability to go with the flow. Finally, nudity has a very freeing position. It lays a person bear and either you learn to get over your hang ups or you succumb to them. There is nowhere to hide because you are aware you are wide open for the world to see. If you want to try this but worry about your furniture and having someoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s bottom on there, you have towels for that. Just remember there will always be those who cannot go nude because they feel they must hide themselves.

EVENT:

Dragon*Con 2011 is the 25th Dragon*Con Convention

DESCRIPTION:

Dragon*Con the largest multi-media and popular culture convention focusing on science fiction and fantasy, gaming, comics, pop art, designer toys, literature, art, music, film, and fun in the universe!

WHEN:

September 2â&#x20AC;&#x201C;5, 2011 (Labor Day Weekend)

WHERE:

Hyatt Regency Hotel, Marriott Marquis, Atlanta Hilton, Westin Peachtree Plaza Hotel, and Sheraton Atlanta Hotel in Atlanta, Georgia. Check it out at: www.dragoncon.org

Dragon*Con is the largest multi-media, popular culture convention focusing on science fiction and fantasy, gaming, comics, literature, art, music, and film in the universe! With over thirty-five fan based tracks, 3500 hours of panels, workshops, gaming, a parade down Peachtree, film festivals, art show, comics and pop art, nightly concerts and parties, bands and DJs, tons of costume contests, dealers, and exhibitors, all squeezed into four short days.

“Why Cookouts and Fireworks? Because this is America!” A Briton’s Commentary on the Fourth of July by M. Caethforwyn O.K., so I’ve been fully indoctrinated into American culture. In fact, this became painfully obvious to me just this afternoon at my part-time job. A customer I was serving was an Aussie man who commented on my unusual Welsh name (thank you, name tag), and that got us into talking, Commonwealther to Commonwealther (i.e., we’re both British Commonwealth citizens, meaning we have the same Queen on our money if not the same national currency, if you follow). He said that I was the only person in America who actually knew anything about Great Britain and Wales especially, probably due to the fact that I know what an eisteddfod is. But then he hit me with the question: “So, you must really like rugby then.” Rugby is as British as fireworks and cookouts are American, especially when those fireworks and cookouts happen on the fourth of July. So imagine this Aussie man’s surprise when I told him that I didn’t like rugby. Granted, part of this might be the fact that I’m girly and don’t like most sports in general, especially violent contact sports, but even the girliest Welsh girls will root for their favorite rugby teams in between getting their manicures and touching up their mascara. I felt very un-British by that realization. What does any of this have to do with the United States and Independence Day? Well, it being close to the holiday and me being a retail worker, I also found myself selling a lot of Fourth of July paraphernalia today and all of that made sense to me somehow. It was like, “Oh, it’s that time of year again, I hope I get invited to a cookout to eat burgers and bratwurst and then maybe go to the top of Grafton hill and watch the Worcester fireworks.” Not once in twenty years have I looked up Wales’ rugby scores at the Commonwealth Games, or even seen an eisteddfod for that matter. Hell, I don’t even celebrate St. Dafydd’s Day, but I get drunk on St. Patrick’s Day (and I’ll assert that St. Paddy’s is more American than Irish at this point before you raise your eyebrow at that last statement). So being a woman with an adopted country, I’d like to now talk a little bit about one of America’s more ostentatious and yet strangely provincial holidays. The United Kingdom knows how to party too, so it’s not like the U.S. is a total culture shock during Fourth of July weekend, but there’s something different about it. I’ll be honest, I find American Independence Day to be the weakest display of patriotism in any national holiday of any 10

country, at least in my narrow experience. You see, the nation of Wales (and it is a nation within a sovereignty, not a state within a nation as some Americans would compare) has a chip on the collective shoulders of her citizens. For all intents and purposes, we Welsh are the British natives. We’re like your “Native Americans”, “American Indians”, or First Nations (or whatever is appropriate at the time of this writing). A lot of Welsh resent the Anglo-Saxon invaders whose descendants are the modern English (not to mention the Danes and French who came later). This makes the Welsh over-compensate in our sense of national pride and patriotism. We staunchly defend our Welsh identities, and in Wales there are people who do not go a day without talking about their pride, something Americans seem to take for granted and delegate to a few days of the year. And while we Welsh have eisteddfodau, cultural festivals, boring nationalistic radio broadcasts, bilingual road signs, and our beloved national rugby teams (which we always hope will destroy the English team on the field, naturally), Americans have hotdogs and explosions and a wild “hoorah!” sense of exhilaration. Ultimately, here’s what I’m getting at: we show our national pride with austerity and a sense of hostility towards others instead of a momentary, Zen-like love of life. While the Commonwealthers show our patriotism with jeers and violent sporting events, Americans get together and crack open some beers and sit together in a field to watch the fireworks fly. Americans everywhere get together to do this on the Fourth of July, and all are invited. I’ve been to a Fourth of July celebration every year since I’ve been in this country, but you know what I’ve never done? I’ve never invited someone else to celebrate in Welsh culture. To me, this is a poverty of ours, of we British folk. On some level the customs of Americans on their Independence Day are extravagant, foolish, and even irrelevant, but I’ll be damned if they aren’t fun and all-inclusive. Even a prim Welsh woman with a native persecution complex (and a losing rugby team year after bloody year, much to my dismay) is invited to take part in the simultaneously pointless but inspiring holiday of the fourth of July along with every American. In the end, maybe we British can criticize you Americans at how you can’t take much of anything seriously during a solemn celebration, but we could learn a lot from your attitude. Hopefully in the world we live in we can all learn something from the American holiday of Independence Day and its essence. The economy sucks, we’re constantly at war, and people are suffering from disease and famine and the results of uncanny natural disasters here and all over the world. It is a sobering thought. However, the American spirit, although perhaps goofy to the rest of the world, sometimes can overcome all of this nastiness. If only all of us could share some food and drink and lay back to watch the fireworks instead of closing in on ourselves and using our nationalism to further rile enmity between peoples, then maybe the world can be just a little bit better to live in, if only for a single day. American nationalism might still be the worst display of patriotism the world over, but it brings people together instead of pulling them apart. Beer-boiled bratwurst will do that…

As summer goes into full force remember the rules for play because you skin will not let you forget them later. 1) Sunscreen particularly the one with zinc oxide is your best friend. 2) The top of your head will burn too. Cover it up. 3) There is no way to buy a base tan so if you have not been in the actual sun this year yet; you do not have a base tan. 4) If you feel baked, you are baked. Take a break from the sun. 5) Cover up to protect when you are not paying attention to how long you are in the sun at sporting events and such. 6) Sunscreen is not just for the beach or pool. 7) Apply lotion after getting out of the sun.

You can still worship the sun and be healthy about it. Just remember you do not want to end up looking like dried leather.

Do not neglect your eyes ever! Sunglasses are not just for beach wear. They protect your eyesight whenever you are in the sun. They should have a UVA and UVB rating and the best protection is the ones that wrap around your eyes.

Heather Marcs

Thunder Beach is arguably the most biker friendly rally on the planet. So whether you are a hardcore rider or just love the vibration as the bikes go past you, this is a great place to come. If you were not in attendance for the spring rally, no worries, there is always the autumn one. However, for now, sit back and enjoy these pictures from the spring 2011 rally.

Elle Tison

Demon Bells There is a legend that for as long as there have been motorcycles there have been evil spirits trying to latch onto the bikes. The legend states that if you attach a bell to the bike the â&#x20AC;&#x153;euil road spiritsâ&#x20AC;? vill become trapped inside the bell and be driven insane by the constant ringing. These Demon/Spirit/Motorcycle bells are said to carry more power when they are purchased by a friend or loved one. All in all these spirits are said to be responsible for many mechanical failures as well as accidents and will cause general bad luck along the journey.

But this bike came equipped vith its ovnâ&#x20AC;Ś

Want a piece of tail? Some girls have just the tail you are looking for but this oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s dog might not let you get it (Note: tail is on the left side not on the dog)

She hosted the very first Mr. Chrome at Thunder Beach Check Chrome Diggers out at: www.chromediggers.com A site for women riders

Riding for Charity

“Long Drive Home on the Short Bus” Morwenna’s Review of Will Allison’s Long

Drive Home

by M. Caethforwyn

Every now and then you hear about an excellent book. I certainly heard rave reviews about Long Drive Home by up-and-comer Will Allison, and I couldn’t have been more disappointed by it. I don’t seem to be alone either. In researching the reviews of readers who have bought the book, it seems that everyone disagrees with the major critics on this one. This book was just terrible in my humble opinion. Maybe it’s just that most consumers of literature (including myself) do not understand what a good book is while the important literary critics do. Regardless, if you’re just a regular reader like the rest of us, you’ll probably be on our side here. To be fair, it wasn’t the worst book I’ve ever read. The novel tells the story of Glen Bauer, a middle-aged suburban stay-at-home accountant who has a brush with death one afternoon while driving his 10-year-old daughter Sara home from her private school. In a moment of “road rage” he feints cutting off a speeding driver, causing the other driver to lose control and crash into a tree across from Glen’s house, killing him instantly. The driver turns out to be a young high school boy with a reputation for being wonderful, and we can all expect the guilt complex that results. When Glen’s marriage with his wife, Liz, begins falling apart and he has to lie to police and other authorities for fear of being sued or even imprisoned, Glen begins an inner journey of personal morality and causality that brings him to the brink of his sanity and his sense of ethics until he confesses to his daughter via a letter. The story is actually told from the point of view of the letter confession, snippets of it being interspersed throughout the text. 18

In principle, this sounds like a wonderful idea. What better way to make a literary commentary on morality in today’s middle class world than to write about road rage and vehicular homicide? That was a rhetorical question. But in all seriousness, I think the plot had potential, but the characters were just awful. The protagonist, Glen, is simply a fool, and despite the emotional and philosophical turmoil inside him throughout the book you never feel him as compelling in any way. His daughter reads nothing like an actual human child (even for an eccentric one), and his wife Liz, as a character, is completely unbelievable as a cold bitch. Maybe upper middle-class wives act like that, I wouldn’t know, but her concern for their comfortable lifestyle is astounding as it overshadows any concern she should have for the wellbeing of her spouse and child. Maybe I missed something profound that Allison meant to portray with these characters, but to me they seem simply weak and completely unbelievable, perhaps more than a little tailor-made for the plot he had in mind. Another criticism is that the book is dull and the suspense is forced. Not only did I feel no suspense as the plot progressed, but I actually felt that the denouement was less intense than the first ten pages. If we could draw a graph of the level of excitement of the story as it goes along, it would be a downward slope. Forgive me, I’m a visual person, which brings me to my next point: the descriptions and imagery are lackluster and mostly left to the imagination. For example, I can’t even describe what the characters or the scenes look like because Allison didn’t describe them. Maybe I’m supposed to find the murkiness of the visualizations intriguing and artful as things are left in a fog to ferment in my mind, never fully crystalizing, but instead I found the whole affair to smack of blandness. Usually I would try to target a specific audience to whom I can recommend a book, but I come up short for Long Drive Home. For once I truly have nothing great to say about a book and I can’t fathom the kind of reader who would find more than an evanescent fascination with the plot and the artful attempt displayed in Will Allison’s writing. I suppose you can check it out if you have nothing better to do. It was a slow month for new books, after all…

Romance Reality By: Michelle Ross People do not understand that being in a relationship is a full time job. It takes hard work and communication from both parties involved. There are many types of relationships. People do not seem to understand the fact that there is an emotional side to every relationship and that you can have one without the other. Emotional relationships can be so much more complex than a physical relationship. A man may try to prove he is not an emotional person. Through years of research and development I have learned otherwise. How you ask? Let’s move on to our first story. Allow me to introduce you to our first couple Allison, and David. Allison and David have a strictly emotional relationship. You can say they are soul mates; they have a strictly emotional relationship. David is a submissive male by nature trying to take on the role of a dominate male. Allison is a dominate female. You can see the issue as to why the relationship is strictly emotional. It has been 10 years and David is still denying his true nature. For 10 years the couple has been best friends, co workers, confidants, but never lovers. True their love is everlasting and unconditional on one level. The fact is it cannot progress further until David admits his insecurities not to Allison, but to himself. So David goes on all these dates while Allison is in her own physical relationship. Within six weeks David is calling crying on Allison’s shoulder about his latest break up. He seeks her approval subconsciously, which Allison finds amusing. As to their future only David knows is my guess. To you I say it is ok to be who you are. The one that loves you will accept you flaws and all even if you are unwilling to accept yourself. Love is one of those mysteries one will never really understand. On the case of Allison and David we will be waiting to see what happens next. What’s missing in this relationship is David’s trust in himself. Without the trust in himself he does not trust himself in a relationship not even with Allison. David will not have a happy healthy relationship without accepting who he really is. But, as we all know most men do not open themselves up to relationship evaluations. This is amazing to me because if they did they would have a much better emotional and physical relationship with their partner. 20

Produced by: CD Projekt RED Platforms: Windows, Xbox 360 Action/RPG Rated M for mature

Do you remember back when you played a game and, after you were done, you stopped and thought, “Wow, I wish that was longer, I wanted to see more of that story”? The Witcher was kind of like that for me. There wasn't a thing I really disliked about the first Witcher. Well, CD Projekt RED managed to give me that same feeling again with the second installment of The Witcher. They brought back the feeling of Andrzej Sapkowski's book series. They brought Geralt back, hardcore style. I think this time we'll start with the combat system once more. It’s the most overhauled part of the game, next to the totally redesigned game engine. For those of you who played the first game, prepare to relearn everything you knew about how combat works in The Witcher. It will not be an easy course to take. This time through the combat got buffed up and not just for Geralt. If you want to survive, you’d better learn how to parry and when it’s more appropriate to use a sign. The Witcher certainly doesn't hold your hand this time, not by a long shot. Combat is tricky through every difficulty setting from easy to challenging, though not overwhelming in the least. It simply brings gaming back to where I think it should be. It’s long been my belief that games should not hold our hands as much as they do today, a belief upon which the people at CD Projekt seem to agree. I want to earn my story through mountains of challenge, not simply traipse through the fields of lazy, uninspired story. I was happy to push through every step of the way and the story itself was an amazing reward, though definitely NOT for children. The plot is complex and kept me pulled in the whole way, the kind of story that, were you reading it, you would be so unable to put it down that you would be late for appointments the next day, though it is very politically oriented. (What did you expect with a name like “assassin of kings”?) Going back for a second, have you noticed that games these days are getting rated M for blood, guts, and gore? Not too worried about giving this game to your kids then? You should re-examine that sticker. Sure, there was a bit of blood, but not enough to earn it an M rating on its own. I counted six possible sexual encounters, which were all really very convincing. (Hats off to the graphics team over there.) Not to mention that Geralt doesn’t have the tamest mouth in the world, nor does anyone in Temeria really. I have to give a big thumbs up to the voice actors as well. They do an amazing job of bringing life to their characters. Emotions feel real and powerful. Whether a sordid encounter or a battle cry, everything has weight behind it.

Look back at last month for a minute, I'll wait. See where I was complaining about your decisions seeming to have no effect on the world? Not a problem here in the least. Each decision you make has important effects on the kingdom and each has its own benefit and detriment when you interact with the people of the kingdom. It’s wonderfully refreshing to play a game where I feel I have an impact on the world. I think that you'll think so too if you end up playing through the game as well. I highly recommend you try it. There are sixteen different endings and four paths to get to them. That ends up being a lot of replay value for someone like me, who really loved the game world and the characters inside of it. This brings me to my next criteria: the characters! I'm actually pretty excited about this part. I love role-playing games, especially when they have characters I like and enjoy. Assassin of Kings fulfills this demand to an extreme. There is not a single character I was not happy with, and more than a few I will be glad to see when they make a third Witcher. (The ending does leave it open for one... fingers crossed!) I love how Triss came back from the first, I loved the Witcher himself, Geralt of Rivia, who in my opinion is the best played amnesiac ever. Everyone down to the town drunk is done well. I think it possibly helped that, again, the graphics guys went all out and managed to get the lip sync on the models to pretty much dead on balls accurate. Let’s move onto them, shall we? I don’t usually care too much about the visuals of a game like this. I tend to worry more about the story and the combat. This time, though, I'm forced to give the graphics team over at CD a big round of applause. They redid all the characters beautifully and they animated them flawlessly. The landscape was stunning. When you are running through a field it looks like a field. What makes it all the more impressive is that I was playing it at its lowest possible settings. It feels dirty, I know, but still, there’s something about a well-animated game and impressively detailed intimate anatomy that I tip my hat to. Overall, I have to say just one thing: this game is worth playing if you’re a fan of larger-than-life characters, beautiful graphics, excellent story, a spattering of nudity, and good dialogue all in the appropriate places. Nothing is out of place and, aside from a few launch issues, it’s a wellprogrammed, amazingly fun game. Go have fun and kill some monsters!

Kevin White

Meet the ladies â&#x20AC;Ś.

There you have it, the amazing women of the Miss Thunder Beach Contest. In this case I think the pictures tell a whole lot more than any words can. Ashley Jones 27

So what makes a game terrible? Disappointing? A part of it has to be expectation. I've seen a growing amount of trailers for Facebook games, most of which boast innovative game play or adult themes. Of course I have seen neither of those things in games such as America 2049 which had amazing trailers but nothing of note in any of the important areas. Sure it had an energy timer but that doesn't count for much without the contest between workers, or the slow, planned increase in power or anything of serious note.

Facebook games: They entertain us during our work day, they distract us from minor obligations and sometimes they make us neglect our families. Of course this begs the question of why? What draws us to these games, what makes them important to us? What makes some great and some terrible? I was sent off to go play Facebook games...damn my job in order to try to figure this out. In order to figure out what makes some of these games so addictive. Surprisingly enough, I find the answer is quite different then what people prefer in a normal video game, something that makes regular games overly difficult or simply annoying. The answer is...Time

So what makes or break a simple flash game? The answer isn't so simple. It can have any or all of the traits aforementioned but simply flop, or it could have one or none and do amazingly. It comes down to who starts playing what and who that person knows. Facebook games travel like viruses from person to person and exist on the competitive and creative nature of the people playing them to continue to do so. So long as there are people on Facebook flash games will continue to bring in revenue for their creators and provide hours of entertainment or satisfaction for their players.

Time limits giving a degree of regularity to what youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re doing alongside the competition between friends. Of course those things along with the game standards of involving game play and entertaining semi customizable sprites. Take for example the very popular Farmville, a game in which you are basically watching timers go down on imaginary plants to sell so you can get more imaginary crops or furniture. This type of game is highly successful due to the regularity of crop growth and the customization of you player area. It quickly becomes a sort of contest between friends or co workers to see who can come up with and acquire the best player area.

Kevin White 28

The Feminine Mistake Part 2: That Which We Call a Ross (Is Now Called a Rose) By: M. Caethforwyn

One of the most academically inane but yet seemingly crucial things transsexuals have to think about is what to call themselves. And by that I don’t mean all of the semantical nonsense concerning social-sexual labels, or even pronouns. I’m referring to the simple concept of naming. Names are something most of us take for granted and don’t really think about. Our parents give us names and, in general, we go by them. Occasionally we hate our names and go by something else. My own mother hates her first name and has always gone by her middle name and, when she divorced my father, instead of taking her maiden name back she switched her surname to that of one of her other ex-husbands. It was the surname she liked the most out of those she had at one point used. However, I bet most of us don’t think much about our names unless we especially hate them. For transsexuals, names are just about as important as anything else. When you’re trying to take on your proper gender persona you don’t want to have an incompatible name. No male-to-female transsexual wants to be called a John, a Bill, or a Dick (no pun intended). We want feminine names to fit our feminine gender (or masculine names to fit your masculine gender, if you’re a female-to-male). Transsexuals, I suppose, have a lot of choices in that department. The advantage of taking a name later in life is that you don’t take it for granted. You understand the importance of a name when you can honestly say that yours doesn’t fit you. My mother feels that her given name doesn’t fit her, to be sure, but that’s a lot different than the issue of a transsexual’s given name. Such names are actually unacceptable; they are socially incongruent, at least most of the time. So, the question is this: how does a transsexual choose a name? Some do it by changing the gender of their given name. Daniels become Danielles, Samanthas become Samuels, and Taylors become… Taylors, I suppose. You’re lucky if your name goes both ways (in terms of gender). Some people choose entirely different names. Several years back a tragically murdered trans girl, given name Eddie, had her named changed posthumously to Gwen by her grieving family. That was the name she had been going by before her death. Back to lighter matters. Now, there are, of course, no rules on what to choose for a name. It turns out that most transsexuals I know have gone by several before settling on one and legally changing it to that. I, myself, have gone by several. I have the unique distinction of having been given a girl’s name at birth, even though I was born male, so I could have kept my old name if I wanted to. It’s an ethnic name and no one would have known the difference. However, in order to divorce myself from my boyhood persona I’ve always used another name. Let’s see how many of them I can remember… …

I remember first going by Angela. It was a boring, generic name, but I had overheard my mother once saying that, if I were born a girl, she wanted to name me Angelique. That sounded too French for me, and too much like a stripper name, so I opted for Angela at the time. I couldn’t much deal with the fact that my “boy name” (which is really a girl’s name, remember) was so eccentric and suddenly I’d be using such a commonplace girl’s name, so I abandoned Angela for something better. I tried Cassandra for a while, although I have no idea what I was thinking. It’s waaaaay too perky for my personality. I feel like I’d have to be a blonde to be a Cassandra, no offense to anyone out there for the stereotype (but… let’s be serious, Cassandra?). I also tried Fjola, the Icelandic form of Violet, because it’s my favorite flower and color and it was an unusual name, but because I’m not Icelandic it seemed inappropriate to me, although I loved being nicknamed “Jolesie.” It’s cute! If I think about it too long I regret discarding it…

On a final note, people often ask me what I answer to. Do I still answer to my given name? The answer is a resounding, “Yes.” As far as trans girls go I’m pretty easy going. Hell, I even still allow male pronouns to be used about me. I try to take the position of being understanding of the confusion such things cause others, rather than making the whole world understand my hang-ups about words, names, labels, and pronouns. When I feel like it, I’ll correct someone, but I usually don’t. Eventually you find that people pick up your preferences intuitively by listening to the way you speak about yourself and the way you introduce yourself. There’s no need to get upset about it in my opinion. But for those who do call me Morwenna, it gives me satisfaction to know that they are calling me “girl” in my native Welsh. There’s nothing like a name that is also your own personal inside joke. I have the talent of making jokes out of just about anything important. Maybe there’s a goddess of mischief I should name myself after…

From there I tried Reija, which is a Finnish name. At the time I was into Norse mythology and, even though it’s completely unrelated to the name Freyja, it sounded quite similar to it. Who wouldn’t want to be reminded of the Norse goddess of beauty, sex, and battle when hearing her own name? It’s really pretty too, but again I felt like a fraud, not being the least bit Finnish (or Nordic, for that matter). I started with a Welsh name, so I finally decided that I might as well end with one. I chose the name Morwenna because (a.) it means “maiden” or “damsel” in Welsh, which I found very appropriate for me and surprisingly unpretentious, and (b.) it allowed me to keep my initials. So I began life with a Welsh girl’s name, and I came into my own as a woman with a Welsh girl’s name. Some would call that going full circle, and maybe we all just run in circles one way or another, but it’s what made sense to me. And my guess is that this is how most, if not all transsexuals choose names: it’s whatever makes sense to you. One thing is for sure though, and that’s that a lot of given names don’t make sense for transgendered individuals and a change is necessary. 30

Twelve years… twelve long, vaporware-filled years we have waited, years filled with consistent changes in engine, the news that we would only be able to carry two weapons, that we would have to refill health. “Duke save us from the realm of annoying first person shooters. Bring us the babes, make us laugh at snappy one-liners and immature humor,” we begged. Well, the Duke is back and in much the same form as he ever was. Sure, he isn't going to save us from regenerating health and limited weapon capacity. In fact, Gearbox opted to cast unto Duke that terrible fate. Despite it all, however, I am pleased with how the whole thing came out. I'll admit I did something before writing this I very seldom do in the interest of keeping my viewpoint clear and unbiased: I read several reviews. Shame on me. They dropped my expectations for the Duke’s triumphant return by mounds. I found myself disappointed in the game before I even played it. To those reviewers out there I have just one thing to say: What the fuck is wrong with you? What did you expect from a Duke Nukem game? I found many criticisms of the game, two of which I’ll address presently. 1. “The game is an immature, belligerent, offensive shooter.” To which I say, “No shit, Sherlock?” Duke Nukem has always been wildly misogynistic, belligerent, foul-mouthed, and fascinated by his penis (all of which is displayed by the lack of a health bar in favor of an ego bar which serves the same function). 2. “The game takes too long to get into the action.” Well, this one is true. It took something like 15 minutes before I got to kill anything (after the intro bit). But to that I say, “So what?” This game was aimed at the fans and the first 15 minutes is filled with Duke memorabilia to remind you of all the moments you had playing Duke Nukem and Duke 3D. 31

There remains a none-too-small list of complaints. I'll spare you the details in the interest of this not being twelve pages long and so I don't have an aneurism from the idiocy. It all boils down to this: Duke Nukem Forever is not Duke Nukem 3D. In fact, it’s very similar to every other first person shooter out there. That is to say it is linear, filled with similar fights with the only changing feature really being ammo drops and cover. It’s all flavor, and this game’s flavor is Duke Nukem, which is to say that it’s filled with base toilet humor, satirical achievements, random boobs, and nonsense. Lets talk about this humor for a moment. How’s your movie collection? Spend much time on the internet? Do you keep up with cult movies and pop culture? I'm sure you’re running at about average on those things there. Good. You'll likely get most of the jokes presented in the game. Everything from “rodents of unusual size” to “Mary and Ashley Holsom.” (It’s an Olsen twin’s reference... keep up.) If that's your kind of humor, then you'll dig this game. If you like shooting pig cops and being crude about it afterwards, this game’s for you. If you’re some rabid Halo fan, well, there are parts you may dislike because power armor is for pussies. Overall, Duke Forever is a pretty linear game that I will likely play again. The game kept me engaged and grinning throughout most of the time I played and I expect will do so a second and a third and a fourth time. That’s about as good as you’re going to get from a shooter. (Not everything can be Borderlands.) The only question remaining is this: are you badass enough to shave with a chainsaw? If so, go pick up and enjoy this game. There can be only one Duke (Jon St. John), so go get your gum and go kick some ass. And if you’re out of gum, that’s O.K. too…

Kevin White

It’s time for a change The real truth about weight-loss.

By: Jessica Kent Likes millions of American women I am considered obese.

I really have no one to blame but myself. Demographically speaking there is 1.6 billion obese people in the U.S aged 15 and up. Sounds insane right? The cheapest and easiest things to eat in our current economy are fast food, processed food. Fewer than 3 dollars a meal yep I’m so there. That’s way less then what we would spend on food. And really do I have that time to cook??? No we are too busy watching TV to cook.

I felt this way till last year I looked in the mirror and decided I have had enough. My grandfather died at my age because of diabetic complications. I was diagnosed as a diabetic about two years ago. So last October I told myself “It’s time for a change.” Now here we are. I don’t really want to say that dieting takes hard work because really what we have to do is much more than some new age diet. Slimming down from a large body is a complete lifestyle change.

Sure I tried those fade diet lose 7-10 pounds a week and gained it all back plus. Yes, I was an emotional eater; yes I ate out of pure boredom when I had nothing better to do. Then you say to yourself. Oh I’m big boned or I’m happy with myself. Lies, lies, lies. Sure you may have a large frame. That does not mean you’re supposed to carry an extra 100 + pounds around on it. How can we ever let ourselves go to that extreme?

Then there are the people that say I count my calories, or I watch what I eat. Sure you do but its fast food. You might be under your daily calorie goal. Unfortunately, your eating unhealthy foods don’t help. It all starts with one step. Admitting to yourself you want to lose weight. Then you move on to step two motivations. Why do you want to lose weight? I’m not talking lose 25 pounds this month to see a new you. We are speaking of little by little the pounds go down. This is proven to be the safest healthiest way to lose weight. 33

So you’ve decided you want to make the change? Congratulations. Time to face reality, or weigh in. In this day and age of technology, there are so many gadgets at our finger tips to help us lose weight. Sure if you can afford it there is Jenny or WW but if you’re like me you’re looking for free help. That’s why I’m here to help guide you on your way to a healthy you.

To start you will need a few tools. First thing you will need is a scale or a place to weigh in regularly. Many people like to weigh weekly in the same location weekly in the same outfit. Secondly, if you have 100+ pounds to lose you might want to invest in a tailoring tape measure. This is because as you begin to change your body and workout regularly your body gains muscle and may not show a loss on the scale. But, you will have a non scale victory ( NSV).

Now you must decide how you want to count your calories. There are many apps for cell phones that are free and easy to count calories and various websites. Two of the most popular websites that I have profiles on each are myfitnesspal and sparkpeople.

Both have various pros and cons so it depends on your individual needs. Myfitnesspal has a very active general forum area while sparkpeople will help you with a meal plan. Both give decent estimates on progress and projection. Please keep in mind that the average weight loss is 1.5 – 2 pounds per week. Both websites calculate your personal information and make a specific weight loss profile on how many calories you should eat per day. Drastic weight loss is not recommended for anyone due to the complications that may affect your health greatly. So you say well I don’t see a change… That’s what the tape measure is for. Day one measure your: waist, chest, hips and thighs. Now let’s move on to exercise. I know it’s hard to motivate yourself. Oh boy do I know… Some days I hate getting out of bed to workout but in the end I am glad I do. Not only do I have more energy; I sleep better. Even if you’re not very active take it one day at a time. I do not go to the gym, I workout in the privacy of my home. If you’re not a very active person you can start out with 5 minutes a day or chair aerobics. Make a plan on how much time you can commit to working out in the beginning and what you see yourself doing for years to come.

For now set your at a goal of losing 1.5 pounds a week for the next month.

Quick View: Some metal bands that are up and coming to check out Reviewed by Kevin White

Lightning Swords of Death -alright- Repetative, simple, soso agressive vocals. Valdur-Decent- Good vocals, solid guitar work, driving drumbeat. Ascention -good- Fun guitar work, Dynamic, Vocalist sounds similar to megadeth Woe -alright- decent vocals, soso drums, kind of fun to listen to Altar of plagues -good- wastes no time, good vocalist, good guitar work, good drums.

Evince Ethos -great- fun to listen to, great vocals, awesome guitar, fun drumbeat. Castevet -Alright- Needs some remastering, entire band dseems to be competing for attention. Krallice -confusing- slow starting on some songs, possibly the happiest sounding metal I have heard, confusing. 35

Zen quotes to practice “Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.” Chinese Proverb “Nothing is permanent in this wicked world – not even our troubles.” Charlie Chaplin The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.” Robert M. Pirsig “This is the Zen approach: nothing is there to be done. There is nothing to do. One has just to be. Have a rest and be ordinary and be natural. “ Osho “Don’t seek, don’t search, don’t ask, don’t knock, don’t demand – relax. If you relax, it comes. If you relax, it is there. If you relax, you start vibrating with it.” Osho “No matter how much pressure you feel at work, if you could find ways to relax for at least five minutes every hour, you’d be more productive.” Dr. Joyce Brothers “He enjoys true leisure who has time to improve his soul’s estate.” Henry David “Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.” William S. Burroughs “If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles.” Doug Larson “This art of resting the mind and the power of dismissing from it all care and worry is probably one of the secrets of energy in our great men.” Captain J. A. Hadfield 36

Move over sports drinks there is something new in town.

Coconut water â&#x20AC;&#x201C; a mix of water, potassium, magnesium, and calcium extracted from coconuts- is growing in popularity. It is being advertised as natureâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sports drink and certainly has many benefits. Coconut water contains electrolytes to help rehydrate a person and potassium to prevent those nasty cramps. It is also said to help remove toxins and aid in digestion. It is stated as being healthier than milk with fewer calories than orange juice. It is lower in sugar and sodium than sports drinks. It seems to have taken the NBA by storm as well.

You might want to consider it when you are reaching for your next sports drink.

Corset Piercing By: Capri Stone

Corset piercing (also called ladder piercing) is a series of hoops arranged in a manner on the body that when laced with ribbon, rope, or chains they make a pattern. It can be on the back, side, neck, or really anywhere that they can get the needle through to place the hoops. The most used pattern is the crisscross of the standard corset but they do arrange them to make all sorts. These are sported by both males and females. However, this is a surface piercing so it is only meant to be temporary. This has many doctors concerned that this body modification is doing more harm than the art of it is worth. Before a person goes out and gets this modification they should consider the cost as well as their own bodyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s production of scar tissue. When this heals up it can leave red bumps if you are prone to scar tissue build up. Personally I will say this is very beautiful. But, given the choice of this or something that lasts, I would go with what lasts.

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