TA K E O N E
M AY
2018
CHARLESTON, SC
Happy Mother’s Day! This issue is dedicated to all the mothers who keep it real, the ones who acknowledge caring for children is not always easy, who cry – and later laugh – at the many mistakes they’ve made along the way, the ones who reach out for support when they need it and then offer a steadying hand to a younger mother when they can. You are more than enough. Here’s to our husbands, partners, girlfriends, sisters, brothers and cousins – everyone who has ever been there to babysit, change a diaper or just listen. We couldn’t do it without you. Here’s to our own mothers. As we get older, we have a greater appreciation for all the time and the energy you devoted to raising us: the carpools, the recitals, the practices, the neatly packed lunches, the baked goods, the science projects and the many sleepless nights. Thank you for your wisdom and your unending patience. The lessons you taught us will stay with us always. Cover Art: Rebecca Hinson
C E L E B R AT I N G W O M E N W I T H AT T I T U D E SINCE 1994
Dysport
$4.50/unit Laser Genesis
$175 Full Face $210 Full Face & Neck Bikini & Underarm Laser Hair Removal Packages
15% Off
Dermaplaning
$75
Infini RF Skin Tightening Three Treatments
10% Off
Xtreme Lashes, Initial Set
$100 OFF
M AY I S S K I N C A N C E R AWA R E N E S S M O N T H !
ALL SUNSCREENS 20% OFF W H Y Y O U S H O U L D W E A R I T E V E R Y D AY. . . •
•
•
Sunscreen helps to prevent facial brown spots and discoloration. No tanning booths! Slows down the formation of wrinkles and leathery looking skin. Always cover up with a hat and UV-blocking sunglasses. Sunscreen is a proven defense against skin cancer. Always use a broad spectrum (UVA/UVB) sunscreen with an SPF of 30 or higher every day.
843.849.9925
GLOW FOR S UMME
M ay 2 2 , 6 p m
R
-8pm
Join us for our summe set for r shindig sun and and get fun. Deli vendors cious fo and of c od, wine ourse...l , ots of d specials iscount and giv s, eaways !
Please RSVP 843.849.992 5
AesthetiSpa.com
Visit website for a $25 coupon!
710 Johnnie Dodds Blvd., Suite 101, Mt. Pleasant, SC 29464 B E AU T I F U L LY C O N F I D E N T. I N S I D E A N D O U T.
Christy L. Cone, MD • Lisa Butler, RN • April Cannon, ACNP-BC, MSN, RN Kelly Hunt, RN • Prudence Blum, LCE • Rachael Brewer, LCE • Kimberly Bunch, LCE
Join us Tuesday evening, May 22nd at 6:00PM Lori Wrightington and an expert from BTL Aesthetics will explain the new Ultra Femme 360, an 8-minute, pain-free intimate rejuvenation treatment.
Special Offer: 20% off RSVP to 843-556-8886, ext.1101. Space is limited.
Facial Rejuvenation Days, May 23rd & 24th Botox $12 per unit
Dysport $ 4 per unit
All dermal fillers and volumizers: $50 off each syringe
Skin Cancer Prevention and Protection Month
20% off all broad-spectrum and mineral sunscreens 20% off all hats Check our website and social media for Featured Treatment of the Month.
A difference you can see and feel.
2180 Henry Tecklenburg Drive & 1364 Ashley River Road Todd Schlesinger MD, FAAD, FASMS • Erin Walker, MD, FAAD • Brandon Coakley, MD, FAAD, FACMS • Kalen Ashford, PA • Gina O’Callaghan, PA • Erin Coakley, PA Lori Wrightington, Director of Laser & Medispa Services • Ashley Davis, Licensed Esthetician 4
skirt!magazine may • 2018
dermandlaser.com 843-556-8886
BORN IN LONDON, ENJOYED AROUND THE WORLD
LOOK FOR OUR
EXPANSION GRAND OPENING! MAY 2018 MOULTRIE PLAZA 640 Coleman Boulevard Mt. Pleasant, SC 29464 843.216.3900
Any Furniture, Any Finish CASE GOODS, UPHOLSTERY, LIGHTING, ACCESSORIES, RUGS AND OBJETS DE VERTU!
Want more? Visit us at www.skirt.com
CAMERON VILLAGE 2030 Clark Avenue Raleigh, NC 27605 919.803.1033 www.stevenshellliving.com
skirt!magazine may • 2018
5
may
the motherhood issue
Dear readers, This issue of skirt! magazine should come with a warning: You will likely need a Kleenex as you read it. (I think we missed out on a marketing opportunity there.) It’s an issue dedicated to motherhood – to all the joys and challenges that come with being a mom and to honoring our own mothers and the role they play in our lives. We feel and write passionately about being mothers and daughters because those are the relationships that help define who we are and who we want to become. We asked moms to share their stories about how becoming a mother changed their lives, and we asked women to share stories about the most important lessons they learned from their moms. A volunteer with Postpartum Support Charleston shares how she found treatment and healing after she experienced a perinatal mood and anxiety disorder. Join skirt! staff on May 12 for the Moms’ Run and Family Day at MUSC Health Stadium. It’s the largest fundraiser of the year for Postpartum Support Charleston. I was honored to talk with Dr. Reshma Khan, who opened a clinic to serve low-income and uninsured women after many people told her she would never be able to do it. She is one of 10 women being honored at the YWCA of Greater Charleston’s What Women Give event May 9. And she is truly amazing. And I had a blast talking with vocalist Quiana Parler, who fronts Gullah-inspired band Ranky Tanky. The band plays the Spoleto USA Festival next month. May is Skin Cancer Awareness Month, and I know from personal experience how important it is to protect your skin from the sun. We asked skin care experts to share their favorite sunscreens with us. I love the variety of formulas that are available. There is no excuse not to wear sunscreen!
F E AT U R E S Hello Sunshine, Hello Sunscreen
10
Profiles
14, 33
OH BABY! MOMS GET REAL
15 - 25
Essay by Gervase Kolmos
16
Postpartum Support
18
Nurse-Family Partnership
20
The Story Behind Gracie Brave
21
Baby Shower Ideas
22
THANKS, MOM
26 - 31
Essay by Libby Williams
27
Essay by Liz Martin
28
Essay by English Drews
29
Mother’s Day Brunch Ideas
30
Skirt! also is a proud sponsor of the Who Runs the World Concert on May 18 at Charleston Music Hall. We can’t wait to hear Zandrina Dunning and the other performers take on our favorite girl groups! Thank you for picking up a skirt! magazine. Look out for our new style next month.
IN THIS ISSUE
Peace, love and skirt!
skirt! shops around
9
skirt! community
13
Her Point of View
24
Calendar
34
Shelley Hill Young Editor
6
skirt!magazine may • 2018
Want more? Visit us at www.skirt.com
skirt!magazine may • 2018
7
PUBLISHER Thomas J. Giovanniello, Jr. thomas.giovanniello@skirt.com EDITOR Shelley Hill Young shelley.young@skirt.com ART DIRECTOR Sarah Kravchuk sarah.kravchuk@skirt.com INTEGRATED ACCOUNT MANAGER Susan Norfleet susan.norfleet@skirt.com ADVERTISING SALES DIRECTOR Beth Maheu beth.maheu@skirt.com PHOTOGRAPHY Jenn Cady Libby Williams ADVERTISING sales: 843.958.0028 sales@skirt.com EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, MORRIS MEDIA NETWORK Tina Battock
COVER ARTIST
REBECCA HINSON is a contemporary illustrator and
oil painter living in Charleston.
An early passion for art led Rebecca to take private art lessons and experiment with different mediums. Shortly after graduating from the College of Charleston, she began her professional career as a freelance artist concentrating in oil paints. Over some years Rebecca transitioned to fashion illustration, one of her original passions. She works in gouache watercolor and pen to create pieces inspired by the South, travel, fashion and animals. Her clients include individuals and businesses. She creates wedding, pets, and people portraits as well as branding, advertising, and logo work. She accepts commissions and sells primarily through her website. Rebecca lives with her husband, Derek, and their two kitties, Luna and Eva Snow. www.rebeccahinson.com Instagram: @rebeccahinson
skirt! is published monthly and distributed free throughout the greater Charleston area. skirt! reserves the right to refuse to sell space for any advertisement the staff deems inappropriate for the publication. All content of this magazine, including without limitation the design, advertisements, art, photos and editorial content, as well as the selection, coordination and arrangement thereof, is Copyright© 2018. Morris Media Network. All Rights Reserved. No portion of this magazine may be copied or reprinted without the express written permission of the publisher. skirt!® is a registered trademark of Morris Media Network.
WE’RE ON SOCIAL MEDIA! Facebook.com/skirtCharleston Instagram.com/skirtCharleston Twitter.com/skirtCharleston
Visit skirt.com to sign up to receive the latest skirt! news and information. 8
skirt!magazine may • 2018
shops around
It’s time to break out your white jeans, sundresses and sandals. Refresh your closet, your makeup bag or your home with a shopping trip to these new or expanded stores.
AILLEA, 344 King St. Kathryn Murray Dickinson says she founded this clean-makeup store because she was tired of being sick and tired. After being diagnosed with severe adult allergies, the beauty industry executive wanted to find high-end clean skin care products, so she opened her first Aillea store in Denver.The Charleston store, which opened on King Street in April, is the company’s fourth location. It features Charleston-based RMS Beauty, Maya Chia and other all-natural skin care lines. The store will offer waxing and other services. TRES CARMEN, 320 W. Coleman Blvd.
Local trendy boutique Tres Carmen opened its third location in April at the Shops of Mount Pleasant. Its other locations are on James Island and in Freshfields Village at Kiawah.
MARIS DEHART CABANA, 32 Vendue Range Maris DeHart debuted its Cabana store in March. The resort shop, which is next door to the Maris DeHart boutique, features swimwear, sunglasses, beach blankets, beach bags – everything you need for a tropical vacation or summer spent by the water. RHODES BOUTIQUE, 92 Folly Road
The high-end clothing and gift shop in South Windermere Shopping Center recently underwent a major renovation. The boutique specializes in monogramming and custom embroidery. It celebrated its 18th anniversary in March.
CANNONBOROUGH COLLECTIVE, 185-A St. Philip St. Charleston Weekender Liz Martin and Tiny Tassel designer Mimi Striplin celebrate the first anniversary of their joint venture, Cannonborough Collective, by throwing a Derby Day and Cinco de Mayo party. 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. May 5 STEVEN SHELL, 640 Coleman Blvd.
Steven Shell has expanded its furniture showroom to 25,000 square feet, more than doubling its space. The store is marking its fifth anniversary this month.
GAL MEETS GLAM
Charleston-based blogger Julia Engel is debuting her first Gal Meets Glam collection of feminine, classic dresses.The dresses are available at her website shop.galmeetsglam.com and at select Nordstrom stores.
Want more? Visit us at www.skirt.com
skirt!magazine may • 2018
9
M AY I S S K I N C A N C E R AWA R E N E S S M O N T H
Hello, Summer Hello, Sunscreen We asked skin care experts to share their top recommendations for sunscreens for Skin Cancer Awareness Month. Don’t forget to reapply often! Also, schedule an appointment with your dermatologist for a full-body skin check.
SORELLA APOTHECARY’S HYDRATING QUENCH AND PROTECT, SPF 30 This tube packs a punch for moisture-deprived skin. It’s a wonderful, gentle SPF, yet it works in moisturizing agents and “skin soothers.” With zinc oxide and titanium dioxide as the sun protection factors, this also contains hyaluronic acid and resveratrol (all the anti-aging goodness found in wines). – Pamela Lesch, owner, Pamela Lesch Makeup
SUNTEGRITY NATURAL MINERAL SUNSCREEN FOR BODY, SPF 30 A natural mineral sunscreen from a company owned by a woman whose mother died of skin cancer. It’s a “top choice” by EWG, the environmental working group, a nonprofit that rates sunscreens and other products based on environmental factors. – Kathryn Murray Dickinson, owner, Aillea
eltaMD UV CLEAR, SPF 46 It doesn’t give my skin that pasty appearance that some sunscreens can. It also helps to calm and protect acne-prone and oily skin while promoting healthy looking skin with Vitamin B3, hyaluronic acid and lactic acid! – Ashley Davis, licensed esthetician, Dermatology & Laser Center of Charleston
LA ROCHE-POSAY ANTHELIOS MINERAL SUNSCREEN, SPF 50 I like the tinted version. COLORESCIENCE SUNFORGETTABLE POWDER SUNSCREEN Use this for sunscreen reapplication over a lotion-based sunscreen (such as elta or Anthelios). It’s a good option for oily skin. – Dr. Diana D. Antonovich, dermatologist, MUSC
10
skirt!magazine may • 2018
– Dr. Joni Mazza-McCrann, dermatologist, MUSC
MDSOLAR SCIENCES MINERAL TINTED CREME, SPF 30 Good for all skin types, including acne or rosacea-prone skin. Provides a universally flattering tint and silky-smooth texture. – Shelley Julian, The Spa at Belmond Charleston Place
OBAGI MEDICAL SUN SHIELD, SPF 50 Obagi Sun Shield deflects the heat away from our skin while protecting our skin with the needed broad-spectrum SPF 50 to prevent cumulative damage! Another benefit to this sunscreen is that it comes in a warm or cool tint to help keep our natural glow after applying it instead of leaving us with a “ghostlike” appearance! – Heather Sherer, medical esthetician, Sweetgrass Plastic Surgery GLOSSIER INVISIBLE SHIELD DAILY SUNSCREEN, SPF 35 Invisible Shield doesn’t leave my skin feeling tacky or heavy which is a plus in this Charleston heat! I love that it’s hypoallergenic, cruelty free and vegan! If you’re looking for a lightweight sunscreen Glossier is where it’s at! – Domanique Johnson, owner, Shadows and Shears
NEED sunscreen?
I WILL REFLECT The I Will Reflect Initiative, founded by Annette Sandford-Lopez, the former director of The Spa at Belmond Charleston Place, is joining forces with the IMPACT Melanoma Foundation and the city of Charleston to install at least 15 sunscreen dispensers throughout the peninsula. The initiative to raise money to install sunscreen dispensers at high-traffic public areas in Charleston. The goal is to raise at least $70,000 to place 25 dispensers throughout the peninsula. In support of the effort, Mayor John Tecklenburg is proclaiming May 7 as “Melanoma Monday.” To help support the initiative, you can purchase a beaded bracelet by local jeweler Christina Jervey for $25, a silicone bracelet that glows blue when in the sun to remind you to seek shade for $5, a yoga mat for $78 or an I Will Reflect facial at The Spa at Belmond Charleston Place for $150. For more information, visit www.iwillreflect.org.
Want more? Visit us at www.skirt.com
skirt!magazine may • 2018
11
“Happiness is seeing my mom smile.”
Happy Mother’s Day FREE PARKING | jacksondavenportvision.com
379 King Street
Individualize care, Natural results.
FAC I A L S U R G E RY
B R E A S T AU G M E N TAT I O N
B O DY C O N TO U R I N G
Thomas Hahm, MD
Board Certified Plastic Surgeon Fellowship Trained at the renowned Johns Hopkins University 180 Wingo Way • Suite 205 • Mt. Pleasant, SC 843.884.1400 • carolinacosmeticsurgery.com
12
skirt!magazine may • 2018
S K I N & S PA
community
A N D E X E RC I S E YO U R R I G H T TO VOT E
Cue the patriotic music: One of the most effective ways that each of us can make a difference is to participate in our democracy and vote. The deadline to register to vote for the June primaries is this month. Make sure you’re registered. Have you moved recently? Make sure you know where your precinct is and educate yourself about the candidates on the ballot. In Charleston, the big primary races in June are for U.S. House District 1, currently held by Mark Sanford, and for governor. Other statewide primary races include attorney general and secretary of state. Across the country, the 2018 election cycle is being dubbed the “Year of the Woman” because of the increase in the number of women running for seats in the U.S. House and U.S. Senate. It’s a reference to 1992 when more women than ever were elected to Congress. Nearly 60 percent more women are running for the House and Senate this year compared to two years ago, according to Politico. In South Carolina, two women – one Democrat and one Republican – are among the candidates vying for Sanford’s House seat. And two women – one Democrat and one Republican – are among a crowded field running for governor.
DATES TO KNOW MAY 4
The League of Women Voters of the Charleston area will host a voter registration drive at the U.S. Post Office at 579 Folly Rd. For information about how to vote, visit the League’s Vote411.org website.
MAY 11
Deadline to register in person. You can register at any branch of the S.C. Department of Motor Vehicles.
MAY 13
Deadline to register online at scvotes.org or the S.C. Election Commission website.
MAY 14
Deadline for mailed registration applications to be postmarked. Send registration forms to P.O. Box 71419, North Charleston, S.C. 29415. Applications are available at Charleston County Library branches, city halls and post offices.
JUNE 12
Primary voting day
OCT. 9
Deadline to register to vote in general election
NOV. 6 Elections
Want more? Visit us at www.skirt.com
skirt!magazine may • 2018
13
DR. RESHMA KHAN knows her purpose in life. Her story will inspire you to think about yours By Shelley Hill Young Soon after Reshma Khan moved to Charleston, she reluctantly accepted a job as a gynecologist at the Ralph H. Johnson VA Medical Center. It wasn’t exactly what she was looking for. Her patients were different from those she had at her private practice in Maryland. Many were poor and had faced adversities. They needed a lot of care, and she felt a deep connection to them. “It made me realize this is why I’m a doctor,” she says. “This is my purpose in life.” During the same time, Reshma, who was born and raised in India, started studying the Quran to deepen her understanding of Islam so she could teach her young son. She began to think about opening up a free medical clinic to offer the same care to any low-income woman, not just those in the military. “My major thing was I want to give without return,” she says. She immediately hit hurdles. At first, she wanted to start volunteering at a clinic, but the existing free clinics all provided primary care, not gynecology. And she didn’t want to put in her volunteer time and go home without making an impact. “I wanted it to where I’m actually making a difference in people’s lives,” she says. When she talked about opening a free medical clinic, people told her she was crazy and she wouldn’t be able to do it. “No one was interested,” she says. “It’s a big undertaking. There are so many hows, so many hows. … I went through a lot of failures, a lot of nos, a lot of disappointment.” She did meet with a woman who worked for the S.C. Free Clinic Association, who offered her encouragement to continue to pursue her dream. Then she went to an Islamic Circle of North America conference on the Quran in Atlanta. It was part of her ongoing effort to deepen her understanding of religion and teach her children. While there, she saw a small sign that said: “We help set up free clinics.” Reshma says her husband asked her whether she was really going to ask about her plans. “I said, ‘Another no is not going to break me.’ ”
14
skirt!magazine may • 2018
At first, she says, the Islamic Circle of North America also was hesitant to take a chance on Reshma. But she was persistent. And then, almost a year later, she got a call from the executive director. He told her, “What you need to start this project is within you. ...You just have to keep your intentions clean and clear, and the rest will come.” “That was so empowering for me,” she says. “He said, ‘I trust you. I believe in you.’ ” Not long afterward, Reshma and her husband made the once-ina-lifetime hajj to Mecca in Saudi Arabia. When they arrived at the Great Mosque of Mecca, she says she started crying and told God: “This is my work for you.” “If you accept my work,” she said, “please make this place a source of blessing for everyone who walks in this door.” Her mission was no longer just about health care, she says. It was about spreading peace, love, mercy, compassion and unity. Since the Shifa Clinic opened its doors in Mount Pleasant in 2012 providing gynecological care to low-income and uninsured women for four hours each Saturday, it has expanded to become a full-time multispeciality clinic that offers community outreach, including a food pantry and a turkey giveaway for Thanksgiving. With all the work she has put into opening and operating the clinic, you might expect Reshma to be exhausted. But she is calm, selfassured and radiant. She says she does not find it tiring. “This is my place of renewal.” “I have such a strong, strong faith in God,” she says. “Something might be impossible for me, but nothing is impossible for him.”
Dr. Reshma Khan, who operates a free medical clinic that serves low-income and uninsured women, is one of 10 women being recognized this month by the YWCA of Greater Charleston during its What Women Bring event May 9.
MOMS GET REAL Women share the stories of how motherhood changed their lives
Want more? Visit us at www.skirt.com
skirt!magazine may • 2018
15
Gervase Kolmos lost her sense of control Then she found herself B Y G E RVA S E KO L M O S I’ve had two natural births. Depending on your unique life experiences, you will now likely make a subconscious judgment about what kind of a person I am, but can we be real for a second? I’ve had two natural births because I’m a control freak. I didn’t enjoy losing control of my body for my two pregnancies. I pushed hard against losing control of my identity after becoming a mother. The illusion of control held court over every other aspect of my life up until having children, so, honestly, a natural birth should have surprised no one. As my new reality became abundantly clear during pregnancy, for some reason, all I could focus on was what I was losing. My body’s going to do what when I’m pregnant? I’m going to start napping in my car on my lunch break? Bye-bye to my thriving social life revolving around Ashtanga yoga and happy hour? I couldn’t contort my body into the same yoga positions about six months in, and watching my friends get tipsy after a long work day where I’d already napped once at my desk was just not doing it for me anymore. Not to be a Debbie, but this was all very real for me five years ago. Even though I excitedly chose to become pregnant, I found myself resisting every single change brought on by my pregnant “condition.” As if it had been inflicted upon me. But what I was really kicking and screaming about? What felt like a loss of control over my entire life. So a natural birth became my obsession. I prepared in all the ways I would still strongly encourage any woman to prepare for the day when her baby moves out of her body, but mostly, I became quite curious about the concept that my thoughts about my labor could have any correlation to my labor itself. I was excited by anything that might help me pull off this charade, and I was leaving no stone unturned. As I prepared to surrender all control over to my body during a natural birth experience, I declared dominion over my mindset. And while I recognize that even the mightiest of mindsets don’t always guarantee the birth story we hope for, it worked out for me. This process of redirecting my controlling tendencies from my external environments to my internal dialogue — unknowingly — began the mental bootcamp that paved the way for my 360-degree inner transformation in the minutes, months and years after becoming a mother. But it really just started with your average first-time preggo gripping onto the last shreds of control she had over her life up until that moment she met her maker. And my firstborn was my maker, indeed. The one who turned it all around for me. The little life who reminded me who I TRULY was with hard human lessons I never thought I needed to learn. When you are someone who prides yourself with having it all together, it’s hard to accept that an identity crisis that evolves into postpartum depression and slams into an abrupt career change is what you need to be your best self. I didn’t know I needed to lose my sense of control to find myself. But can we be real one last time? I honestly did.
GERVASE is Certified Life & Leadership Coach for Mamas, and the founder of Shiny. Happy. Human™. A self-proclaimed “Real AF” coach, she asks hard questions to help mothers remember who they truly are. But for real. She created the Mommy Soul Tribe Facebook group and the Charleston event series, Champagne Society, to give mothers the opportunity to find their tribe while exploring what it means to have it all in business and mom life. Gervase has spoken throughout the Lowcountry to groups like MOPS, Charleston Moms Blog and at the Center for Women’s 2016 Passion, Purpose and Power conference and has been featured on Lowcountry Live. In 2017, she was voted “Woman to Watch” as part of the Center for Women’s Charleston Most Influential Women contest. Her writing has been featured on the Huffington Post, Best Kept Self, Charleston Moms Blog and more. Learn more over at www.shinyhappyhuman.com. 16
skirt!magazine may • 2018
“I finally felt like a mother”
Mary shares her story of coping with a postpartum mood disorder and how she learned to take care of herself BY MARY MCBRIDE For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted to be a mom. In the fall of 2010, just three months after my wedding day, my dreams became a reality when I became pregnant. Nine months, an induction, 36 hours of labor and a C-section later, my son Riley was born. I had become a mother! After the anesthetics had worn off and I was more alert, I remember sitting on my hospital bed while my husband slept with my little boy swaddled and propped on his Boppy. It was just the two of us, and it was pure bliss! But a late night feeding turned into disaster when I discovered my son bleeding from his feet. Lots of pokes and prods on my baby boy and an accusation pointed at me from a medical professional turned my life upside down. I collapsed and cried on the bathroom floor, telling my husband to take him away from me. I didn’t deserve my son. Despite a correct diagnosis, I unraveled. I feared during this time that someone would take my baby away. Eventually, God sent me an angel in the form of a counselor who specialized in postpartum mood disorders. She very literally saved my life. Her name was Kathleen, and I met with her every week for a few months. Together we discovered that I was suffering from postpartum PTSD, anxiety, OCD and depression. She also referred me to a psychiatrist for medication. My healing came from taking my daily dose of Celexa, along with a routine of self-care and positive affirmations. It was, and sometimes still is, a daily struggle to climb out of the darkness. But I did it, and I finally felt worthy. I finally felt like a mother. Not long after, my little family of three relocated to Charleston from California for my husband’s work. I was nervous about making such a big change after everything I had overcome. I knew that in order to keep myself together, I would need to find a support system. As soon as we had Internet access, I Googled, “postpartum support near me.” The first thing that popped up was an advertisement for Postpartum Support Charleston’s annual Moms’ Run! As soon as I clicked the link, I knew this was something that I needed to do. I made the decision that this was going to be my next self-care goal. The Moms’ Run was my motivation over the next 12 months to get my physical health under control. I worked my tail off and dropped over 100 pounds! Going from barely being able to walk to my mailbox without getting winded to crossing that 5K finish line with tears in my eyes was one of the most gratifying moments of my life! Having Postpartum Support Charleston as a resource is what kept me afloat. I am finally in a place in my life where I feel like I am healed enough to help others, which is why I decided to be a volunteer. I am both humbled and honored to be a part of this organization. Mary lives in Goose Creek and has a 6-year-old son. When he was 8 months old, she was diagnosed with postpartum anxiety, OCD, PTSD and a dissociative disorder. As a ‘transplant’ to Charleston from the West Coast, she was able to lean on Postpartum Support Charleston for the support she needed because her friends and family were so far away.
18
skirt!magazine may • 2018
FIND SUPPORT AND HEALING FOR POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders includes postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, ocd and post traumatic stress disorder. The mood and anxiety disorders affects 1 in 5 moms every year and are the most common complication of childbirth, but many women do not seek help.
Are you or someone you know experiencing postpartum depression? Symptoms may include: Extreme anxiety Feelings of anger or irritability Lack of interest in the baby Appetite and sleep disturbances Crying and sadness Feelings of guilt, shame or hopelessness Loss of interest, joy or pleasure in things you used to enjoy Thoughts of harming the baby or yourself You should seek help when you experience symptoms like these most of the time, for a period of at least two weeks or longer, and these symptoms make it feel very hard to live your life each day. Postpartum Support Charleston provides peer support groups, online, phone and email support. Treatment may include seeking treatment from a psychiatrist, a psychologist or a counselor, medication and peer support. For more information about Postpartum Support Charleston, visit www.ppdsupport.org. You don’t need to suffer in silence. Support, treatment and healing are available. Call 843-410-3585 or email contact@ppdsupport.org. If you have thoughts of hurting yourself or your child, seek medical attention immediately or call 911.
Charleston Postpartum Support and skirt! Magazine hosted a Mom’s Brunch at Athleta in Mount Pleasant Towne Centre on April 15 to raise awareness of perinatal mood disorders and to encourage people to register for the Moms’ Run on May 12. Thanks to everyone who came out and registered for the race. Photos by Meghan Rowe
Left page: Riley McBride, Mary McBride, Kyle Moore and River Moore Above: left to right: Elaine Earl and Amber Allen • David Frost, Bryn Frost, Rachel Frost, and Archie Frost • Katilin Stegall and Cory Stegall • Katie Williams, Surrina Hayes, Elaine DeaKyne, Holly Fisher and Amber Allen • Sarah Kravchuck, Shelley Hill Young, Elaine DeaKyne and Susan Norfleet
Want more? Visit us at www.skirt.com
REGISTER TODAY
You can still join us and register for the Moms’ Run and Family Day to support Postpartum Support Charleston 7 a.m. May 12 MUSC Health Stadium To register, visit www.ppdsupport.org skirt!magazine may • 2018
19
“
DEONA SCOTT and her family are positioned for success thanks to the Nurse-Family Partnership By Shelley Hill Young Deona Scott had just finished her track eligibility at Charleston Southern University and was one semester short of graduating when she found out she was pregnant. She was raised by her grandmother because her mother wasn’t able to care for her, and she didn’t want the same future for her child. So when she learned through the Department of Health and Human Services that she was eligible for a program that partnered nurses with qualified first-time moms for two years, she signed up. “I could have easily just thrown my whole future away,” Deona says. The Nurse-Family Partnership arranges for nurses to visit low-income Medicaid-eligible first-time mothers who are less than 28 weeks pregnant at no cost to the mother. Deona’s nurse, Lindsay Odell, visited Deona once a week during her pregnancy, personally guiding her through what to expect during her pregnancy and after her baby was born. A month into the program, Deona realized she was hungry and did not have enough food to eat to sustain herself and her baby. She was hesitant to tell Linsday because she was embarrassed. But she told herself that was what Lindsay was there for and that she needed to tell her. The following week, Lindsay brought Deona listings of food banks and places that provided food. “It had me in tears,” Deona says. “To know she had my back, and she’s here to educate me? That was the turning point when I said, ‘I’m going to stick with it and finish the program.’ ” Deona says she would have never read to her baby while he was in her belly or breastfed for 14 months if it hadn’t been for Lindsay. Lindsay not only taught Deona about parenting and having a healthy pregnancy, but also about life skills. After Deona’s son was born, Lindsay encouraged Deona to go back to college and finish her degree. She led Lindsay through a goal-setting lesson, teaching her to write down her goals to make them more realistic and to assign a date to them to hold herself accountable. Deona’s goal was to graduate from college. She eventually sold her car to send herself back to school. When Deona was near her graduation, Lindsay told her about an opening with the Nurse-Family Partnership program. Deona graduated in December 2015 and started a job in February as an outreach worker telling eligible first-time moms about the program. "Deona came into our program focused and determined,” Linsday says. “Over the course of our program, she really found her voice and built her confidence, becoming an advocate for herself and her child." Deona’s son is about to turn 4, she’s married, and the couple recently welcomed a little girl. Deona says Lindsay was nonjudgmental, followed through and saw her for what she could be. “That’s so empowering.” If you’re interested in learning more about the program, visit scnfp.org or call 844-SCMommy. 20
skirt!magazine may • 2018
gracie brave is not alone
Mother-daughter writing team share story behind children’s book B Y K AT E E L D E A N
“Gracie Brave” was birthed on an Amtrak train headed from San Diego to Santa Barbara. My Mom and I were taking a few day retreat together and began to pen the children’s book as the train headed north. We knew it was time to share her with the world! “Gracie Brave” has been a dream in the making for many years based on my personal experience living life with clinical depression. I also have 18 years of experience as a counselor in the mental health field, which has taught me numerous things about the struggles of mental illness; however, nothing could teach me more than my own daily battle with the darkness. Depression in children is often more difficult to detect. It shows up more frequently in physiological and behavioral symptoms. In my case, I would tell my Mom things like, “I have a tummy ache,” “my head hurts” and “I don't want to play with friends or go to school.” I began to withdraw around the age of 5, and my Mom wondered where her bubbly, energetic and smiling child went. It was a scary and challenging time. The first step was going to our pediatrician to rule out anything physical. Fortunately, we found a competent child psychologist who helped guide us. Throughout both my childhood and adult life I have always had an affinity towards the voiceless, the marginalized, the left out and the one without a friend. This has led me to having a passion for philanthropic work stateside and missionary work in East Africa. Race, color, socioeconomic or ethnic barriers don’t limit Gracie Brave. We know how isolating it can be living with a disorder such as depression or otherwise no matter who you are or where you live. In the story, Gracie travels by way of her red balloon and her vivid imagination to destinations near and far to bring hope, healing, generosity and a strong message that you are not alone. We desire to link arms with children and adults who struggle with depression and other diagnoses as well as to affirm their value, worth and empower them to have their voice. We believe everyone has a Brave story to share! What is your Brave story? This collaboration as a mother-daughter team has been significant for so many reasons. We have a special camaraderie. We are a team and can be an example to other mothers who are dealing with the challenges their child is facing. Another benefit has been that writing and creating together has brought us closer. We have spent countless amounts of time remembering all of the obstacles that have been overcome navigating depression together. There is a gift in stopping to remember where we have come from. We truly are overcomers who are strong and capable of meeting the challenge at hand. We have learned so much about risk-taking and cultivating courage through my battle with clinical depression.There is an unbreakable and steady bond that exists when a mother sticks with her child as mine has with me over the years. Whether in a time of heartache or hope, she has always been 100 percent supportive and by my side. Writing can be a lonely endeavor and it is such a blessing to be able to help one another when we get stuck or need some inspiration to get the creative juices flowing. Perseverance has been the key ingredient in the process of dreaming up, writing and polishing “Gracie Brave,” which was published in December 2017. Our motherdaughter relationship has had seasons of deep emotion, unspeakable joy, discovery and always a deep companionship in every season. The obstacles and challenges we have faced have given us a different perspective on life and that definitely shines through in “Gracie Brave.” We desire children and adults to be well and to appreciate and savor life regardless of the battle you face. We can rise above our circumstances and ease the pain with love and encouragement. There is hope and there is healing! Gracie Brave is available at Wonder Works stores, Indigo Books and online at graciebrave.org, Amazon and bn.com.
KATE ELDEAN has been a licensed Marriage & Family therapist for more than 16 years. She specializes in individual, couples, group and family therapy, and maintains a private practice in Charleston. She enjoys painting, writing and designing empowering workshops for women and children to help them to find their voice through expressive arts and mixed-media. For more information about Kate visit kateeldean.com. Want more? Visit us at www.skirt.com
skirt!magazine may • 2018
21
CLOTHESLINE BANNER Hang a piece of twine on the wall. Using clothespins, encourage your guests to attached, photos, notes of encouragement and baby items.
THUMBPRINT WALL ART Remove the glass from a photo frame and replace with white matte board. Draw or trace a picture of a hot air balloon basket and strings. Invite your guests to dab their thumb into ink to make a heart shape balloon and write their name under it. It creates a wonderful gift to give the expecting mother for the nursery.
UP, UP AND AWAY Glue four matching drinking straws to the base of a rice paper lantern in four locations. Glue other ends of straws to a small wicker basket. Place cute plush animals or cards inside the basket.
BABY BLOCK PHOTO HOLDERS Using wooden baby blocks, spell out a name or word. Attach a clothespin to the back side of the block with a glue.
BABY BOTTLE VASES Replace your vases with baby bottles. You can even dye the water to reveil the gender of the baby.
22
skirt!magazine may • 2018
CELEBRATE MOM AND BABY-TO-BE WITH THESE ADORABLE IDEAS Pamper the mommy-to-be and help her prepare (as much as possible) for her little bundle of joy with these creative baby shower ideas. Make the baby shower a relaxed, comfortable and casual affair with plenty of time built in for the expecting mom to visit friends and for the experienced mamas to share advice. We love the idea of framing thumbprints of all the guests so Mom will always remember who was a part of the little one’s life from the beginning.
CUSTOM ONESIES Print out unique one of a kind graphics for your guest to iron onto onsies. Remember to reverse your artwork before printing.
FLOWER POT ONESIES Fold your onsies into half vertically and roll, securing with a ribbon. Place onsies into terra cotta pot, which you can decorate if you are feeling extra creative.
Want more? Visit us at www.skirt.com
skirt!magazine may • 2018
23
HER POINT OF VIEW In honor of Mother’s Day, we asked women to share the best advice they would offer to new mothers.
“Motherhood
looks different for everyone.” - Amber Allen, volunteer, Postpartum Support Charleston
“Stay calm and really try to enjoy every moment. Take it day by day. I get frazzled very easily. Stay calm. Take a deep breath. Try to enjoy all the little things, even the tantrums and tears.” - Marissa Barnard, consultant, Beautycounter
“When it comes to parenting, always go with your gut. Don’t worry about what any book says or what another mom tells you. You will know what is right.” - Priscilla Brown, mom, blogger, thehopefulwanderers.com
24
skirt!magazine may • 2018
“Try not to set such high expectations for you and your baby! We don’t realize it but these are all based on imaginary assumptions until we’re deep into our roles as mothers and know our children like the back of our hands.” - Gervase Kolmos, founder, Shiny. Happy. Human
“Remember to take time for yourself, even if it’s just five minutes a day.” - Elaine DeaKyne, executive director, Postpartum Support Charleston
“Don’t try to do it all alone. When a person with older kids says, ‘Can I babysit for you?’ Say, ‘Yes.’ ” - Holly Fisher, Fisher Creative
“Don’t trick yourself into thinking
that you have to have yourself and your whole life figured out by the time your little one arrives. Becoming a mother for the first time is a tremendous opportunity to grow and evolve. Say ‘yes!’ to that moment when it comes, and don’t let an old idea you used to have about yourself prevent you from stepping into it.” - Katherine Hanson, blogger and founder, ModaBaby
LOVE “My mom once told me, ‘God only gives you what you can handle,’ as she lay in a hospital bed fighting her battle with Type 1 diabetes. She passed away when I was only 26. Sobbing, I thought, ‘How can I go on without my mom? I still need her.’ She’ll never meet my future husband; my future kids will not have a memére. I still need her. Then I thought, ‘God only gives you what you can handle.’ “Years later, I married and later was blessed with two amazing boys. During the pregnancies I was scared, no, terrified, thinking, ‘How am I going to do this without my mom? I need her.’ Again I remembered her voice, ‘God only gives you what you can handle.’ ‘I got this,’ I said, and pushed forward knowing I’d be OK. From fevers to diapers to fatigue, I heard her voice. OK, I can handle this. “When my second son was 9 months old, I was diagnosed with a massive malignant brain tumor. Scared for my life, and for the lives of my boys, I prayed to my mom and heard her voice: God only gives you what you can handle. OK, Sarah, you got this! Fight for your boys. After four surgeries, cancer treatment and 8 years, I am cancer free. But through it all, and to this day, I always have my mom’s advice with me. Thanks, Mom, because of you, I handled it.” - Sarah Kravchuk, art director, skirt! magazine
Want more? Visit us at www.skirt.com
skirt!magazine may • 2018
25
THANKS,
Mom
Local women share the most important lessons their mothers taught them
26
skirt!magazine may • 2018
5 things I LEARNED FROM MY MOM BY LIZ MARTIN
Photos by Lucy Marie Photography
1.
2. 4.
LIVE BY THE GOLDEN RULE
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. It’s pretty self explanatory, but this advice has even helped me with client interactions. Whenever I’m pitching someone to work with me, I always like to let them know what’s in it for them. Putting myself in other people’s shoes instead of just being in it for myself lets everyone win.
DON’T LIVE BEYOND YOUR MEANS
While a lot of my friends were getting store credit cards in college, I remembered that mom always encouraged me not to spend more than I had. If I want to go on a trip, it means I’m going to have to plan for it and set aside money along the way.This is far less stressful than having to pay for something after the fact. Besides, there are plenty of other ways to establish credit (i.e. leasing a car). Perhaps I’m not as wildly successful on paper as I could or should be, but I’m proud that I have never gone into debt in order to have my shop or my online business. I pay for new product manufacturing as my other product sales come in, and while this lends itself to slower growth, I don’t have a bank to answer to at the end of the day.
3. 5.
HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY
Living in Charleston, means I usually feel surrounded by trustworthy folks. I like that I don’t really feel worried about having shoplifters in my store or having someone try to take advantage of me when I’m conducting business. However, there are plenty of times when it’s tempting for me to not be as honest as I could – like not getting charged for something at the grocery store. Mom always led by example that if you didn’t pay for it, it isn’t yours. I especially try to remember that now that I have a store where I hope people would be honest with me.
ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO
Perhaps this is why I wound up with a business mantra that “every day should feel like the weekend.” If you find a small joy to be excited about, it really does feel a little more like Saturday! This can be something as simple as looking forward to lighting a candle when you get home from work or trying a new adventure, such as visiting a nearby town for a day trip.
PEOPLE’S FAVORITE SUBJECT IS THEMSELVES
My mom could make friends with a stump, and I think it’s because she always makes it about you and not her. This echoes some similar thoughts from “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” and it definitely holds true. People do love to talk about themselves, so why not show interest in their favorite subject? Ask them what they did over the weekend or find out how their kids are, and I bet you will be at the top of your client’s list the next time they have a role for you.
LIZ left her career as a speech therapist in 2015 to start a lifestyle brand and blog, The Charleston Weekender. She offers products that help make every day feel more like the weekend and enjoys blogging about travel, interior decor and entertaining. She and Mimi Striplin of The Tiny Tassel recently opened a brick and mortar shop in downtown Charleston called Cannonborough Collective, where they carry local goods and balloons. Want more? Visit us at www.skirt.com
skirt!magazine may • 2018
27
MY MAMA TOLD ME BY LIBBY WILLIAMS
I was busy that day. I was always busy. It was a way for me to mask the pain. If I just stayed moving until I collapsed and melted into a puddle of exhaustion, maybe I wouldn’t understand the gravity of it all as much. Maybe if I just stayed in task mode, the air wouldn’t be so heavy and thick with grief and suffering. My days were full. I had a toddler. He was just about 18 months old at that time. My dad laid flat in the living room, his cancer treatment pills scattered around the small table he had pulled up beside him on the couch. He kept them there until he had the stomach to swallow them. That took time. So much time. His cancer was back with a vengeance now, serendipitously timed with my mother’s failing health. They were both in their 70s – their twilight years as it turned out. What a miserable way to spend your last days – sick, in pain, broken. We were all so broken. My mother laid in the bed that day. It was her day off from dialysis. We didn’t have to make the 20-mile trek to the clinic where her sick and tired body laid hooked up to machines all day. We could relax. No wrestling with a toddler, a stroller, a wheelchair that day for me. Just rest. She was tired. Her body was slowly giving up on her even though none of us were ready. She spent those last years of her life confined to a wheelchair – her feet and legs too weak to carry her anymore, her arms curling in on themselves like a dying vine. I put her back to bed shortly after breakfast that morning before freeing my little toddler from the prison of his highchair in front of the TV. I kept him there so he couldn’t reach the pills my dad still had sitting by on his little table. They looked like candy to my then 1 year old. Just one more episode of Elmo and maybe I could get the dishes done. Maybe I could take a shower. Maybe I could get out from underneath it all. Maybe… one day. I crept out of the room as my mom settled in for a nap. I scooped up my soft, squishy baby. He was always so snuggly and smelled like warmed milk – creamy and sweet and warm and soothing. He was so happy to see my face. I smelled his sweet neck and kissed his chubby, succulent little cheeks as if they were the last morsel of love I would ever be allowed in life. We snuck upstairs to read a book, get dressed and get ready to go for a walk on the beach. It was our time together. Precious, savored time. We walked and sang and talked. We played I Spy and he pointed to all the things. I always told him he was right. Mostly, he was. We chased sunshine and searched for ghost crabs and treasures in the sand. When we came home that day, my mom was awake. The house was quiet and still. My dad was sleeping in his chair. Graham hadn’t made it home awake from our busy, joyful hour at the beach. I laid him down and went to check on my mother. She was contemplative. Thinking quietly in her bed. We made some small talk. “How was the beach?” “Good…Graham fell asleep in the way home. He is full of sand, but happy. He loves the beach.” “He’s such a love, that little one of yours, Elizabeth. You are so very lucky.” Lucky. That took me back. She had never really seemed supportive of my decision to have a baby without his birth father being around to support us. As open-minded as my mother was, she still clung to tradition like a cat who scurried up a tree they never meant to climb. She, too, had been a young, single mother. But her story wasn’t as pretty. Her situation seemed to carry the weight of shame seasoned with a healthy dose of disgrace from her mother. So the word “lucky” danced around me like a thousand yellow butterflies. LUCKY.
We talked more, about family and life. We talked about Graham and his absent father. We talked about my curious life and how twisted and turned around it had gotten. I was 32. Single. I was mothering so many people I wasn’t sure who I even was anymore. I felt lost and alone, yet I was surrounded by people who loved me – who needed me. Their lives depended on me. We talked about her that day. Her illness. Her life. We talked about her impending death, which we both knew was there but never really wanted to acknowledge. It hung around us all like a giant white elephant in the room. I couldn’t bring myself to talk about her life being over. None of us knew how to talk about the hard things. It was all becoming too real now. Creeping in, silently watching. It lurked in the corners, waiting to make its move now. My only thoughts were selfish. I was scared. So scared. What would happen to me? Who would I be without her? My identity – the identity I never asked for as caretaker – was being stolen from me and I had no choice in the matter. Nothing I imagined of my future seemed to fit me. It was like wearing clothes that were too small. Everything was small now in comparison. Tears began to roll down my cheeks, tumbling and crashing around me. They felt heavy. Fat. Cumbersome. I was embarrassed. I lived endlessly in embarrassment of myself. It was at that moment that my mom looked at me, studying my face like I was a stranger to her – like it was the first time she had ever seen me. She reached her hand out and touched my tear-streaked face. Smiling gently, she said these words to me: “You are going to do great things when I am gone. Such great things.” Those words hung there between us for a moment. It was an acknowledgement of what was to come. My future was sitting in the air around us, equal parts doomed and beautiful. It was full of as much hope as it was grief. We all knew what was coming. We just couldn’t bear the weight of it all. It’s been 11 years since I had this conversation with my mother, since I had any conversation with her. In those 11 years, those words have become something bigger. They stuck to me, like a prophecy or an omen. It was as though they came from somewhere else – beyond us both. They were a beacon of hope in an otherwise hopeless situation. They were my permission and my promise. They were my future. She gave me a gift that day – the gift of hope. The gift of something to look ahead for and to strive to become: something better and bigger than I was at that time.There was a promise made that day, a promise of more, which is exactly what I needed going into the days after. Her death left me vacant and lost. I floated aimlessly around, wandering and wondering if I was ever going to wake up from the fog. I think of her words to me that day still in these days, its weight penetrates my every action. Each day I ask myself this question: “Am I doing great things?” I don’t know if I have lived up to my mother’s predictive prose, but I do try. I show up. I do the hard work. I make mistakes and clean them up. Maybe that’s all there is to it – maybe the greatness is in the trying. Maybe the simple act of showing up is all that matters. Perhaps the celebrations and lauding shouldn’t just arise when we have arrived, but in the steps in our journey that gets us there. So the only thing I ever need to ask myself is this: Are you trying? If the answer is always a resounding “yes,” then bravo to me. It’s then that I know that I am, indeed, doing great things.
LIBBY is a photographer, designer, and food blogger living in Charleston. She is inspired daily by a lot of things around her: her growing son, the remarkable city she lives in and the beautiful, big planet we live on. But most of all, she is inspired by light and the stories that she captures and tells with the camera. When she isn’t taking photos, she is traveling or cooking or scheming about her next adventures. To follow more of her work, visit www.libbywilliamsphotographs.com or her blog platesouth.com. 28
skirt!magazine may • 2018
ME BECAUSE OF HER BY ENGLISH DREWS
“I love you,” I yelled as I walked away, down the sterile hospital hallway. “I love you too,” she yelled back. She was on the mend and it was OK for me to return home, back to Asheville. But as I walked in my house, my sister called. “You need to come back to Charleston,” she said. And that was it. That “I love you” would be the last time we spoke to each other. She was gone. There would be no more words, no more hugs, no more laughter, no more listening from my Momma. She was gone and I thought I would never be the same again. We surrounded her in the hospital, not knowing what to do. Say your goodbyes they said, take your time, she will know you are there. I looked down at her hands. She had her rings on. She never wanted to have her jewelry on in the hospital. So, we asked her, “Momma, do you want us to take your jewelry off?” Her hand lifted slightly. Not with us, yet with us. We looked at each other and laughed. That was my first sign that even gone, she would still be with us. The next morning the tears woke me up. Sobs, catching my breath, my chest hurting, I could feel my broken heart. I was lost, untethered. My Momma was gone. Everyone told me the grief was so great because the love was so great. But I felt so lost.The person who always cared about me, always loved me, and was always there, was gone. Back in Asheville, on a cold spring day in April, I walked around a mountain lake, still crying, still grieving the loss. As a looked up, something in the sky approached me and followed me along the bank, flying low. It was an egret. In Asheville. Her favorite bird. Telling me, “I am with you, you will be OK.” Slowly, the grief and sadness began to be overtaken with memories, stories filled with love and laughter. I began to realize all the little things she did to show her love, her spirit, her spunk are the things that I remember most about her. She had her flaws, she was not perfect. But the things she taught me, showed me, modeled for me, that would be what would sustain me. She taught me laughter, adventure, joy. But she also taught me the subtleties of myself that make me who I am. The feature that may not be obvious or outstanding, but the things that make me smile and laugh, knowing I do what I do because of her. She loved to ride around and look at things, random trips down a side street or two that would make you feel like a hostage in the car if you were a passenger. She would just keep driving.... “One more thing,” she’d say. She followed fire trucks to see where they were going. She drove to the beach when hurricanes were on the way to see the big waves. She would send
me articles of happenings in Charleston and of friends that were in the paper. She would have loved the “share” feature on Facebook. She collected recipes and cookbooks, but I don’t remember her making that many dishes from all those clippings (that I still have). She loved to shop on King Street, from her car. Pulling up to a store, honking the horn until they came out, giving them her credit card and thanking them with a big smile for getting whatever she wanted and bringing it to her as she sat in her car, on King Street, engine running. She taught me to “call me when you get there.” She was always anxious to know how our travels were going, had we made it to our destination. Before cell phones, it was common for my sister or me to hear our name called over the intercom in the Atlanta or Charlotte airport. “English Drews, please go to the nearest customer service desk.” Where, on the other end of the phone, would be Momma. “Hey, how’s your trip going?” We are still not sure what she said to pull that off. At my first wedding, when the flowers didn’t show up for the ceremony, she taught me to be resourceful and to question incompetence. Before I realized what was happening, the bridesmaids were carrying a single red rose (borrowed from a dozen roses for a church member turning 100 the next day). The flowers – for the next day’s service – were ceremoniously brought to the alter by white-gloved, tailed tuxedo groomsmen before the wedding party walked down the aisle. Guests thought it was a symbolic proclamation of the event. When Momma called the florist to find out where the flowers were, and the florist sheepishly declared she thought the wedding was on a Tuesday, Momma didn’t skip a beat, asking, in a very demanding yet Southern tone, “Who the hell gets married on a Tuesday?” And when a few years later, I called my parents to tell them I was getting a divorce from that same marriage, worried I was disappointing them (even though I had a very good reason for the phone call), she just supported me. She taught me to trust my instincts, saying, “Honey, if it don’t look right, or don’t feel right, it ain’t right. We love you.” Yes, she did. Slowly I have learned that she is always with me. She gave me everything I need to know that her love is always there. And she sends reminders to let me know. A gust of wind on a calm day, an egret flying close by, a rainbow, a sunbeam. Some signs are obvious, some I am sure I miss, but I know she is with me, always. Because she made me the person I am. She shaped me, influenced me. I am not me just because of me. I am also me because of her.
ENGLISH is a Charleston native who took a break from her sales and marketing career to renovate the historical family home her great grandparents built in 1915. That adventure led to the creation of her blog, RenovatingCharleston.com, and her pursuit of finding and sharing the stories of our ancestors. Her days are filled with gardening, pouring over historical documents and finding ways to tell and preserve the stories of our past. Want more? Visit us at www.skirt.com
skirt!magazine may • 2018
29
for Mother’s Day What better gift to give your mom for Mother’s Day than to invite a few of her closest girlfriends, host a lovely Sunday brunch and tell her to sit back, relax, and enjoy. You got this, and she doesn’t need to lift a finger. We asked our friends at Hamby Catering & Events to put together some of their favorites dishes for a perfect Mother’s Day brunch menu. They even shared the Hamby family recipe for deviled eggs. Use your own favorite family recipes for the rest of the menu, or make it easy on yourself and order some of the dishes from The Market at Hamby Catering. We won’t tell! Of course, no brunch is complete without a signature cocktail. Our friends at Hendrick’s Gin suggest a light, food-friendly Champagne cocktail.
30
skirt!magazine may • 2018
MOTHER’S DAY MENU • Challah Bread French Toast • Deviled Eggs • Mini Tomato Pies • Tea Sandwiches made with shrimp, egg, or chicken salad or pimento cheese • Fresh Fruit
HAMBY’S DEVILED EGGS Ingredients: 1 dozen hard-cooked eggs 1 teaspoon seasoning salt or to taste 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce 1 teaspoon prepared horseradish 2 teaspoons sweet pickle juice 2 teaspoons prepared mustard 1/2 cup mayonnaise or more, if needed 1/2 teaspoon pepper Sliced pimiento-stuffed olives or dill for garnish Directions: Slice hard-cooked eggs in half, lengthwise. Remove yolks and grate in food processor. Add seasoning salt, Worcestershire sauce, horseradish, pickle juice, mustard, mayonnaise and pepper. Blend well. Adjust mayonnaise to reach desired consistency. Spoon yolk mixture into a pastry bag fitted with a large star tip. Pipe a rosette of yolk mixture into each white half. Garnish with a slice of pimiento stuffed olive or sprinkle with dill. Store in refrigerator until ready to serve.
CUCUMBER 75 Ingredients: 1 ½ oz. Hendrick’s Gin ½ oz. freshly squeezed lemon juice ½ oz. simple syrup 3 oz. Champagne Directions: Combine first three ingredients and shake well Strain into a flute, top with Champagne and garnish with a slice of cucumber.
Want more? Visit us at www.skirt.com
skirt!magazine may • 2018
31
MAY TUE
MON
SUN
ASH
1
7:05 6
LEX
5:05
7:05
@HAG COL
13
20
5:05
@HIC
LEX
7
27
@HAG @AUG @HIC
14
21
28
OFF @HAG @AUG COL
7:05
8
15
22
29
WED
2
ASH
@LWD
@AUG COL
11:05
3
ASH
9
16
@LWD COL
10
17
30
@AUG COL
4
LEX
@LWD COL
24
@HIC
SAT
5
LEX
6:05 11
18
7:05
7:05 23
FRI
7:05
7:05
7:05
OFF
THU
@HAG
19
COL
6:05 25
@HIC
26
31
7:05
FOR TICKETS CALL 843-577-3647 OR VISIT ------------------
32
skirt!magazine may • 2018
12
QUIANA PARLER fronts Gullah band, Ranky Tanky. It’s exactly where she’s supposed to be Quiana Parler’s cell phone is blowing up. She’s juggling interviews and photo shoots with multiple media outlets, scheduling tour dates and maintaining her wedding band bookings. Her life hasn’t been this busy since about 10 years ago after she just missed being on the second season of “American Idol.” She befriended Clay Aiken at auditions in Atlanta and went on the road as one of his backup singers shortly after he came in second place in the competition. Quiana has moved to the front of the stage and is the lead vocalist for Ranky Tanky, a band made up of longtime South Carolina musicians that celebrates Gullah musical traditions and reinterprets them in a modern, sometimes funky way. (Ranky Tanky is loosely translated to “get funky” in the Gullah language.) And Ranky Tanky is getting big.The band released its self-titled debut in September, was featured by Terry Gross on NPR’s “Fresh Air” in December and performed at globalFEST in New York in January. By February, Ranky Tanky’s debut album was at the top of the Billboard jazz chart. “We had no idea it would take off this fast,” Quiana says. The band is playing a homecoming performance at Spoleto USA Festival on June 2. “I’ve done Piccolo (Spoleto Arts Festival), all my life,” Quiana says, referring to the city-sponsored art festival that features mostly local performers. “To do Spoleto with Ranky Tanky this year, that’s amazing.” Quiana grew up in Harleyville and went to College of Charleston.The daughter of two wedding singers, she started taking lessons with opera singer June Bonner at the Dock Street Theatre when she was 8. At 16, Quiana began singing in Serenade, a musical revue directed by Brad and Jennifer Moranz at the Charleston Music Hall, and later in the Latin jazz band Brazil, which performed at Mitchell’s on the Market. She’s been singing with Ranky Tanky bassist Kevin Hamilton, drummer Quentin Baxter, guitarist Clay Ross and trumpeter Charlton Singleton in different capacities for years. So when the four were looking for a female vocalist for a new project, they called Quiana. The call couldn’t have come at a better time for Quiana, who says she had been on a spiritual journey to find deeper meaning in her life. She tried to take her then-3-month-old son with her as she toured as a backup singer, but learned that situation didn’t work well for them. She had returned to Charleston to focus on her wedding band Quiana Parler and Friends, which she calls her first love. Still, she says, “I just felt like there was something more I should be doing.” Quiana says the rhythm of the traditional Gullah music – which originates from West African slaves who developed their own spoken language on the sea islands of South Carolina and Georgia – is one she’s familiar with. It’s the rhythm she grew up hearing. Indeed, it’s a rhythm familiar to anyone who grew up listening to music in South Carolina. “Everybody knows that rhythm. It’s a happy beat.” And the music is spiritual. She sings a beautiful cover of Ralph Stanley’s “O Death” and the spiritual “Been in the Storm.” There are also more fastpaced songs, such as “Ranky Tanky” based on children’s rhymes and games. Quiana says she’s able to incorporate her background in gospel, pop and R&B into her performances for Ranky Tanky. “This is the foundation where it all started,” she says. “I feel like this is where I’m supposed to be.” Part of Ranky Tanky’s mission is to preserve and spread the Gullah culture and to educate people about it as they perform around the world. Quiana says that when she’s performing this music, she senses “a different respect from the audience.” She likes to call it “music with a purpose.” “It takes me to a space spiritually,” she says. Quiana seems to have found the strength and purpose she was looking for. And it has very little to do with fame, though that just might come. “I never sought out fame,” Quiana says. “I sought out success. Success is being able to take care of my family.” Want more? Visit us at www.skirt.com
skirt!magazine may • 2018
33
may CALENDAR OF EVENTS
MAY 2-6
North Charleston Arts Festival Take in one of the more than 40 performances at the Arts Fest Expo, the North Charleston Arts Festival’s flagship event May 5 and 6 at the Charleston Area Convention Center. Other expo activities include art and photography shows, fine craft exhibits and children’s activities. The arts festival also features theatre performances, gospel and bluegrass concerts, a dance party and author readings. Times and venues vary. Visit northcharlestonartsfest.com for a full schedule.
MAY 5
Cinco De Mex 1 Block Party Enjoy Brazilian beats by Duda Lucena and reggae band The Dubplates as well as a Brazilian martial arts and Afro-Brazilian dance performances and a drum circle. Food tents and bars will be set up outside. A portion of the proceeds go to the Charleston Surfrider Chapter. Tickets are $10 in advance or $15 at the door and include one free drink. 4 p.m. Mex 1 Coastal Cantina, 817 St. Andrews Blvd. For more information, visit mex1coastalcantina.com.
MAY 5 -19
Women Build Week Habitat for Humanity Berkeley County is hosting a Women Build Week in Moncks Corner. Join other local women – including members of the skirt! team – to build a home for a single mother of three. Volunteers are asked to contribute $25 to help fund the home’s construction.Visit berkeleyhabitat.org/women-build to register.
MAY 9
What Women Bring The YWCA of Greater Charleston is recognizing 10 women who are breaking barriers in different industries at its first What Women Bring awards luncheon. The luncheon will feature a panel discussion moderated by Joan Robinson-Berry, vice president and general manager of Boeing South Carolina. WCBD News 2 anchor Octavia Mitchell will emcee the event. Tickets are $55. 11 a.m. to 1:30 p.m., Charleston Area Convention Center, 5000 Coliseum Drive. Register at wwb.splashthat.com.
MAY 11
Listen to Your Mother Be prepared to laugh and cry as a cast of 15 women and men share their personal stories about motherhood. The show is directed and produced by Angie Mizzell of Charleston Storytellers. Tickets are $25. 7:30 p.m. The Schoolhouse, 720 Magnolia Rd. For tickets, visit charlestonstorytellers.com.
MAY 12
Moms’ Run and Family Fun Day Join skirt! as we support mothers who suffer from perinatal mood and anxiety disorders by participating in this 5K, the largest fundraiser of the year for Postpartum Support Charleston. Postpartum Support Charleston works to eradicate the stigma surrounding perinatal mood and anxiety disorders and ensure all women receive support.The route starts at the MUSC Health Stadium and winds through Daniel Island before ending back at the stadium for family-friendly activities. 7 a.m. MUSC Health Stadium, 1990 Daniel Island Dr. For more information, visit www.ppdsupport.org.
34
skirt!magazine may • 2018
MAY 13
Save More Kids Impact Bash Listen to live music, enjoy bites and learn about Save More Kids, a nonprofit dedicated to transforming Liberia through its children. Featured performers include Zandrina Dunning and Joe Fisher. Cash bar. Tickets are $45. 4 to 8 p.m., Prohibition, 547 King St. For more information, visit www.savemorekids.org/fundraise.html.
MAY 18
Who Runs the World Concert You’ll be dancing and belting out the words as Mahogany Soul performs hits from the greatest Soul and R&B girl groups of all time. Think Labelle, Sister Sledge, En Vogue and TLC. Featured performers include Christian Smalls, Zandrina Dunning, Essence Geddis and Aisha Kenyetta. Tickets are $15 in advance or $17 at the door. 8 p.m., Charleston Music Hall, 37 John St. For more information, visit www.charlestonmusichall.com.
MAY 19
Brain Tumor Walk Support awareness and research for brain-tumor specific programs when you participate in this three-mile walk. Proceeds support the National Brain Tumor Society’s efforts to improve the availability of treatments and research for a cure. Registration is $25. 8 a.m., Palmetto Islands County Park, 444 Needlerush Parkway, Mount Pleasant. For more information, visit events.braintumor.org/charleston-brain-tumor-walk/ Charleston Beer Garden Sample beers from more than 30 breweries around the Carolinas, test your skill at games, enjoy live music and eat local bites at the Charleston Beer Garden. Proceeds benefit Lowcountry AIDS Services. General admission tickets are $25. 12 to 7 p.m., The Grove at Patriots Point, 40 Patriots Point Rd. For more information, visit charlestonbeergarden.com. Cannonborough-Elliottborough Neighborhood Association Tour of Homes Visit private homes and see the wide array of architectural styles and furnishings and enjoy local treats at many new shops along Spring and Cannon Streets. Tickets are $20. 2 to 5 p.m. For more information, visit www.memberplanet.com/ events/cena/tour.
MAY 20
Wishes in Bloom for Make-a-Wish Enjoy hors d’oeuvres from top Lowcountry chefs, live music and a live auction among the gardens at Magnolia Plantation.Television host Erin Kienzle will host. Proceeds go to Make-a-Wish South Carolina and its efforts to grant wishes to children with critical illnesses. Individual tickets are $150. 6 to 9 p.m., Magnolia Plantation and Gardens. For more information, visit sc.wish.org.
MAY 24
Beach House Reunion Official Book Launch Party The South Carolina Aquarium hosts the launch party for Mary Alice Monroe’s new book, “The Beach House Reunion.” Greet the author, receive a signed copy of the book, tour the aquarium and enjoy hors d’oeurves. Proceeds support the aquarium’s Sea Turtle Care Center. 6 to 8 p.m., S.C. Aquarium, 100 Aquarium Wharf.
MAY 25 - JUNE 10
Piccolo Spoleto Arts Festival More than 70 artists present their work in Marion Square during the Piccolo Spoleto Outdoor Art Exhibition, part of the Piccolo Spoleto Arts Festival. Free. 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday-Thursday and 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Friday-Sunday. The festival also features more than two weeks of arts offerings, including visual arts exhibits, classical music, jazz, dance, theatre, poetry readings, children’s activities, choral music, cultural presentations, crafts and fim. For more information, visit www.piccolospoleto.com.
MAY 25 - JUNE 10
Spoleto Festival USA Once again, there are a lot of talented female performers featured in this year’s Spoleto Festival. Charleston vocalist Quiana Parler fronts the band Ranky Tanky, who bring a modern sound to traditional Gullah songs and rhythms. Emma Rice, the director of Shakespeare’s Globe theatre in London, directs “The Flying Lovers of Vitebsk.” Actor Avital Lvova who shined in last year’s “Angel,” returns to the festival to play a pregnant Syrian refugee whose plight is contrasted with a war photographer in the two-person play “Borders.” Grammy-nominated jazz vocalist Jazzmeia Horn will lead her new septet at the Gaillard Center. Tap dancer and choreographer Michelle Dorrance, a MacArthur Fellow, presents two programs: one features electronic floorboards with the tappers creating the score and the other showcases fast footwork. Contemporary opera “Tree of Codes” features music by Australian composer Liza Lim. Other popular performances include Jon Batiste, the bandleader of “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert,” and Ricky Skaggs and the Kentucky Thunder. This year’s finale is being held at the Joe and features The Lone Bellow. Times, venues and ticket prices vary. For a complete schedule, visit www.spoletousa.org.
MAY 26
Southeastern Beard & Moustache Championships More than than 200 competitors from 17 states and Canada vie for the honor of having the best facial hair. Proceeds support the Center for Women and Big Brothers and Big Sisters of Charleston. 7 to 11 p.m. Music Farm, 32 Ann St. For more information, visit www.holycitybeards.org
JUNE 2
Sweetgrass Cultural Arts Festival Find the work of more than 20 talented sweet grass basket makers and other arts and crafts, as well as participate in basket making demonstrations at Mount Pleasant’s Waterfront Memorial Park. Also, enjoy gospel music, praise dancers and Gullah storytelling. The festival celebrates Gullah Geechee history, culture and traditions. 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Mount Pleasant Waterfront Park, 99 Harry M. Hallman, Jr., Blvd. For more information, visit www.sweetgrassfestival.org.
Want more? Visit us at www.skirt.com
skirt!magazine may • 2018
35
PICK UP your new Skirt at more than 500 locations around the
Lowcountry, including Harris Teeter, Whole Foods and CVS or online at skirt.com.
38
skirt!magazine may • 2018
FINAL FITTING
Try on our new Skirt this June
Want more? Visit us at www.skirt.com
skirt!magazine may • 2018
39
Primary Care
N E
W S
Bringing the best medicine closer to you.
Just down the street, there’s an MUSC Health primary care doctor who sees patients for wellness visits, acute illnesses and chronic disease management. Our internal and family medicine providers and pediatricians all come with the power of a nationally recognized academic medical center. This offers you and your family the most advanced medicine, latest technology, and access to over 700 specialists. To make an appointment, call 843-792-7000 or go to MUSChealth.org/appointments.
MUSChealth.org/primary-care
Changing What’s Possible
843-792-7000