free
november Charleston, SC
E sca p e
th e
o rd i n a r y.
Drive for hours to Grandmother’s house with an oversugared toddler, a teenager who hates you right now and a dog that needs a whisperer. Toss and turn on leaky air mattresses while your brother’s family gets the beds.
Start turkey prep and Bloody Marys at dawn. Nurse a grudge against the sister-in-law who’s sleeping in and covets your family’s heirloom silverware. Wake her up by tuning every TV in the house to football except for the one tuned to cartoons. Cook All Day. Have
More Bloody Marys. Bring up the time your mother missed your 5th grade Christmas play. When she protests it was 25 years ago, slam out of the house and wait for someone to beg you to come back in. Preferably your heartless mother. Count the silverware as you wash it. Count the days until December 25. Count to 10 and pump up the mattress. Cover copy by Nikki Hardin, art by Renia Metallinou
“There’s nothing that makes you more insane than family. Or more happy. Or more exasperated. Or more…secure.” Jim Butcher