Slidell Magazine, January 2019 by Slidell Magazine

THE OFFICIAL MAGAZINE OF SLIDELL

Vol. 102 January 2019

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Editor’s Letter

Kendra Maness Editor/Publisher Slidell Magazine

The Slidell Magazine staff had a fantastic time at our employee party held in December! 2018 was a wonderful year for us, topped off by the release of our 100th Edition and Cover Art Show, and I wanted to celebrate with the people who made it possible. The party was the closest I’ve ever gotten to having all of my writers in the same place at the same time. Since most of us have fulltime jobs outside of the magazine, in addition to family and community commitments, getting everyone together has proven impossible FOR YEARS. With tons of advance planning (and my promises of free food and alcohol), everybody was able to meet for lunch (except Dr. Jeff because he was saving puppy lives so we forgive him). The day was a sentimental and fun one. I had planned the outing carefully, so that I could recognize not only my staff, but all of the people and places that have had an impact on our success. First, we met with Alex Carollo at the Slidell Cultural Arts Center to view our exhibit and reminisce through our journey these past 100 issues. From there, we strolled through the beautiful streets of Olde Towne to lunch at KY’s Restaurant. Along the way, we stopped for photos (thanks Alex!) at Olde Towne’s newest park and playfully posed while we enjoyed the scenery and success of our historic district. There, I gave everyone two gifts that represented our Slidell Magazine humble beginnings - a Christmas ornament replica of the Chamber of Commerce building, and a handmade ornament from Antiques & Art. Without the City, the Chamber, and the Antique Association, none of us would be writing for you today! Lunch led to after-lunch drinks at the Wine Garden. And, those turned into dinner drinks, and... well, thank God for Uber and designated drivers. At some point during the evening, I remember (vaguely, it’s a bit fuzzy) sitting back and just watching my writers MY FAMILY - interact with each other and share ideas and stories. It was a beautiful sight to behold.

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www.slidellmag.com 985-789-0687 Kendra Maness Editor/Publisher Editor@slidellmag.com Devin Reeson - Graphic Designer Graphics@slidellmag.com DISTRIBUTION Julie & Paul Wood CONTRIBUTING WRITERS EFOP, Dr. Ron Francis, Charlotte Collins The Storyteller, John Case Pet Points, Jeff Perret, DVM This Month in History, Dawn Rivera Weather, Story & Photos by Donna Bush Crimmi-Mommly Insane, Leslie Gates Legal-Ease, Ronda M. Gabb Making Cents of Your Money, Mike Rich Moving, Rose Marie Sand The Color Purple, Suzanne Stymiest

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JANUARY 2019

Story by Charlotte Collins

ExtraordinarilyFascinating Fascinating “Ordinary” Extraordinarily “Ordinary”People People

“The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. They can't ask their patients what is the matter they've got to just know.” ~ Will Rogers

Our EFOPs have included numerous professionals that protect and heal humans, but none that heal humankind’s best friends. Animals and humans have been in awe of each other since the Neanderthal days. The gentle-hearted of us have looked beyond creatures as a food source, and found many a best friend. If you read our 100th edition of Slidell Magazine, you know that my pets have included many breeds of dogs, cats, turtles, snakes, fish, rabbits, hamsters,

mice, gerbils, guinea pigs, rare frogs, squirrels, birds, and anything that chooses me as an owner. When fellow Slidell Magazine writer and Storyteller, John Case, suggested Ron Francis as my January EFOP, I seized on the idea. I remembered that Dr. Francis always had a good story and quite a few jokes when we visited his office back in my childhood. I had not seen Dr. Ron Francis in possibly four decades. He was my dad’s friend, fellow Rotarian, and our veterinarian

Dr. Ronald Francis as far back as I could remember. We agreed to meet at his favorite restaurant, at a designated waiting area, in case I didn’t recognize him. There was no chance for confusion, because I spotted him immediately. Nothing had changed but the silver hair. He had the same deep brown eyes and, as for the hair, he quipped, “I dye my hair gray once a month, whether I need it or not. I’m 86 years old, and I’ve gathered a lot of stories from funny things that happened through the years. Sad ones, too, I’m

Left: 1) Ron as a young man in college. 2) Dorm room studying at Veterinarian School, Texas A&M, where Ron was elected to serve as a representative on the student Senate . 3) Joyce at one of her Hollywood photo shoots. 4) A beautiful young couple, Joyce & Ron Francis.

afraid.” But he smiled as he delivered the last line. When we were seated, the first thing he asked was, “You look so familiar. How do I know you?” Once I told him who my parents were, he smiled. “You look so much like your mother, it’s uncanny.” I get that a lot.

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Well, the jokes began from the start. As I started with preliminaries, like how to title his name, he said, “Don’t use D.V.M., because nobody knows what that means. I was asked this question so frequently that I would just say, 'It means dumb in Latin.' Some people even bought that line,” he laughed. "If I simply said, 'It means doctor,' they would always ask, ‘What kind of doctor?’ I explained that it means a really good doctor,” and he started counting off using both hands. “One that is a psychologist, a surgeon, a dermatologist, a cardiovascular specialist, an opthamologist, a pulmonary specialist,” and he paused and laughed. “You get the picture. Being a veterinarian means you have to learn it all, and be a specialist in everything. It also means you experience the good, the bad, and the ugly,” and he smiled broadly.

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I learned that he started his career at Gentilly Veterinary Hospital, after undergrad studies at LSU and Texas A&M for veterinarian school, where he graduated in 1957. I wondered, how did he come to Slidell? He explained, when he started practicing veterinarian medicine, he had Wednesdays off. The St. Tammany Parish county agent needed someone to test cattle for Bang’s Disease, a bacterial infection. So, he found himself commuting to Slidell from Gentilly every Wednesday for three years. It was a federal program, and they actually eliminated the disease in this area in that three-year period. This was the good part of being a veterinarian. Dr. Francis was so successful that he was then asked to do an annual rabies program here. For the next 25 years, he vaccinated dogs and horses at the Slidell Police Station, with donations droped in a bucket from the public. Ron grew serious and told me about the other side of being a veterinarian. “A farmer came to the station at the end of the day and asked me to help him with a young cow who was having trouble giving birth to a stillborn. I had no tools, as I was simply vaccinating in Slidell. That didn’t even give the man pause, and he pleaded that I come help.” I knew this would be trouble when I saw the gleam go out of Ron’s eyes. For the squeamish, I will skip his depiction of the situation. He took a deep breathe and continued, “When I arrived, I saw that I had to do something, and fast. I turned to the farmer and told him to bring me a shaver, some fishing line, a hacksaw, a gunny-sack needle, and needle-nose pliers.” Matter of factly, he described the procedure. “The cow was comatose, so I shaved her for a C-section, and painted the cow and my hands with iodine. We circled up three trucks

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with headlights beaming at the cow. I remember the mosquitoes were just eating me alive, but I couldn’t slap them. I held the blade in a pair of pliers, and finally took out the calf, sewed up the cow, and went home. I didn’t even charge him, partly because I was too exhausted and partly because I didn’t have the heart to charge a man for a dying cow and dead calf.” After Dr. Francis' surgery and twice daily antibiotics, the cow ultimately survived! Then he smiled again, to my relief, and announced, “Ten days later, the county agent appeared in my office asking me to set up in Slidell one day a week, on my day off. So, on Wednesdays, that is what I did. I rented a room behind Gus Baldwin’s building on Front Street, right across from Sarraile’s.” Laughing at the memory, he related, “I had one chair for clients and one table for pets. I remember it all so well. They put an ad in the paper announcing that I was coming on Wednesdays, along with my picture. It read ‘City vet coming to Slidell,'” and he laughed heartily. Sweeping his large, muscular hands he described, “People came rushing in immediately." "Everything over here had heartworms from the mosquitoes. At that time, treatment for heartworms was very limited, and there was no preventative medication back then. All we had was arsenic. It definitely killed the worms, but it was so hard on dogs. The side effects included a host of other problems, like kidney, liver, and heart damage. We also had a huge number of distemper cases. All of that is preventable now because of advances in medicine.” He was solemn by this point in delivering the ugly part of being a veterinarian in the 60's in bayou country. Then he looked up with a gleam in his eye. “Do you remember that outdoor dogs only lived to six years back then? Only us old timers will remember. That was 50 years ago, and veterinary medicine has changed immensely since then. It was exciting to witness the advances. Steroids were just coming out. It stopped the itching as soon as I gave the injection. The hair grew back, but the problem came back again in just six weeks. Steroids gave a brief relief, but even that was amazing at the time. It was not used for auto immune disease yet.” “Back in the late fifties, I was completing my Continuing Education courses. An orthopedic surgeon from Ohio State University came down to speak about animal surgery. We were grabbing a cup of coffee together, and he asked if we did orthopedic surgery on dogs. We did not, so he drew the procedure details on a napkin. I went home and researched in my medical books. I suddenly made the realization that I could do Cruciate surgery on the knee, like they do for athletes. Two colleagues and I started doing the specialized surgical procedure. We were the only ones doing it

in the whole Greater New Orleans area.” Growing jovial he added, “I would get paid with a $4.32 bottle of Canadian Club. I didn’t do that many at the time. Next, I progressed to back surgeries, and then I performed five open heart worm surgeries in 1958 and 1959. I took colored photographs during the process. When I showed these photos at dog shows, people thought we were quacks, as they had never heard of such a thing." Now Ron changed the subject. “So, in 1961, Joyce and I got married. I remember the first time I went out of town. I was headed to Kansas State University to give a seminar. This was our first time separated for any length of time.” He had a boyish mischief in his eyes as he related, “I opened up my suitcase, and found a pair of my underwear set on the top with a card stuck in them. It read, ‘To err is human, to forgive is not my policy.’ To this day, it has worked out just fine. We’ve been married 57 great years!” he beamed. When pressed for details, Ron told me his wife’s maiden name, Joyce Goubler. Her uncle, Ed Goubler, had the bait and fishing store on Front Street. Ron didn’t meet Joyce until she walked into his office with her cat. Ron elaborated, “I was young, good looking, and wearing a white coat. Girls always asked my secretary if I was married. But Joyce was more interested in her pet than me. I arranged to come to her house to get her cat for surgery the next day. Then I called to check up on her cat. When I asked her if we could go out for a meal sometime, she explained that she was kind of seeing someone. I wasn’t going to let it go like that forever,” he winked. Months later, Ron performed a C-section, birthing eight puppies who would need hand feeding. This was his chance to call on Joyce for help to feed the puppies. She agreed. Ron’s eyes took on a mischievous gleam as he related, “I told her we would need another feeding in two hours, so we went to get coffee in between, talked, and went back to feed the puppies. I asked her if I got another pregnant dog, could I I call her. She said yes!” His eyes twinkled at this, but alas, it was a couple of months later before he had that opportunity. Now Ron rose up in his chair and announced, “This time, she agreed to dinner,” and he pointed his finger with a flourish! Ron knew Joyce was “a looker,” but he later found out that she had talents of which he had no idea. He related, “After we were married, I found out Joyce was an actress at Gallery Circle Theatre before we met. She was even in a movie. I saw a poster for the movie, and Joyce was just stunning. That movie, 18 and Anxious, premiered at the Saenger Theatre in New Orleans, and included stars Robert Mitchum and Sam Goldwyn. He exclaimed, “She accompanied

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One year after they married, Dr. Francis bought his own building, and started practicing in Slidell fulltime. Ron justified that, “I was so busy that one day a week that I couldn’t get everything done. So in October of 1962, I bought the building on Front Street. It was a little red wooden house at the edge of town."

Susan Hayward and Linda Darnell! She went to Hollywood, but it was not her cup of tea. She told me that she thought, ‘I don’t like all this, it is not my style of life.’ Fortunately for me, she came back home.” Laughing, he reminded me, “I just met her through her cat, and had no idea of all that. When Joyce would get all dressed up and we went out, the whole room would go silent when we walked in. I’m telling you, she was the most beautiful women that ever walked the earth! Plus, she has an IQ of 160, and loves animals and children. I remember she would stop every day and leave food for stray animals. Her big heart is what helped influence me when we got together.”

He continued, "The ugly part of being a vet was to tell a pet owner that their beloved pet did not make it. They didn’t often want to take the pet home for burial. At this time, there was no Belvedere Subdivision, and it backed up to vacant land owned by Gus Fritchie. I asked Gus if it would be alright if I buried animals there. He said it was fine.” Laughing, he recalled, “I had a high school student working for me at that time. You know who it was? Dr. Neal Faciane. He and I buried a Great Dane one night. Someone saw us, discovered the mound, and called the police. They dug it up and came to me. Of course, I explained that I had permission, but they asked me to stop burying animals after that.” For those who live near the bayou, you may have had Dr. Neal Faciane as your vet, or his daughter, Dr. Michelle Faciane, who runs their family practice. I thought the burial story was funny enough, but it was not the end of the story. Ron continued with a wry smile, “When they started building Belvedere Subdivision, a plumber came in and

said, ‘Doc all my helpers left me. They found bones while they were digging and walked off the job.’ I had to explain to them that it was animals, so they would come back to work.” That should tell you how rural Slidell was at the time. If you recall from my previous articles, cows ran loose all over the town. We had a different perspective before the building boom. Ron finished this period with the memory of taking time off from work to travel to Baton Rouge and lobby for the widening of Front Street and Pontchartrain. Slidell had about 6,000 people back then. In 1963, the young veterinarian hired Dr. Lloyd Guillot, and they formed a partnership, named simply Slidell Veterinary Clinic. This was the original name of Ron’s practice, as he was the only vet in Slidell for a number of years. Ron and Joyce started a family during this time, and Slidell experienced its big population growth. In 1965, they built a home in the new subdivision George Dunbar developed and named Coin Du Lestin. The young doctor worked hard at his own practice in Slidell, plus commuted to the Fairgrounds and Jefferson Downs to work the gate for the horses, certifying them for racing, every day except Sunday. Pointing to his watch, Dr. Francis outlined, “I practiced at my office until noon, then left for New Orleans and worked many hours, returning home late at night.”

L-r: 1) Ron was chosen as "Citizen of the Year" by the Elks Lodge of Slidell in 1971. 2) Dr. Ron Francis and his office manager, Sue Chester, at Slidell Veterinarian Clinic. Of Sue, Ron says, "More people knew Sue than knew me! She was Commander-in-Chief of the clinic. She held the place together." Sue retired after 33 years, when Dr. Francis retired. 3) Ron's 50th anniversary of veterinary service cake. Dr. Ronald Francis retired after 51 years, 1 month and 12 days of practice. 10

Their family grew, along with the practice. Despite the long hours, Ron and Joyce also got involved with their community. As he explained, “We both loved the small community. Joyce had relatives already living here, and we just became a part of it. In a conversation with John Blackmon, we started thinking we should have a Santa on the Bayou. I got a pontoon boat, put a phonograph on board, and the girls would sing carols. The next year, we decorated the boats, and others joined us. It became a tradition, and parents started sneaking us presents for their children. I dressed as the elf and helped get the right present to Santa at each stop. Ron admitted, “We started at dark and finished at midnight. At each stop, parents would give us drinks. I fell off one time, maybe more." I could tell this annual event was a highlight in Ron’s extracurricular life. The event expanded year after year, until Ron amassed 160 lights, a highpowered phonograph, a stuffed santa on top, and “a styrofoam ball with little mirrors to sprinkle light all over bayou. We did this for 25 years. Thankfully, my son Michael took it over, and the kids are still keeping the tradition alive and well,” he beamed.

Ron as the elf helper for "Santa on the Bayou," a Slidell tradition that he started and volunteered with for 25 years.

some commonalities. Lisa, our oldest, is an attorney, and Michael is a Chief Mechanic for Mosquito Control down Airport Road. He has been there for 22 years. He lives in Coin Du Lestin, near Keith. Karen owns her own hair salon in Diamondhead, Mississippi. She is an expert colorist. People come from all over to get their hair colored by her. All three girls are beautiful, and the boys are good looking like their Dad,” he smiled.

“We also did Santa with Seniors, and Santa danced with ladies at the Senior Center, and gave stockings with little trinkets for kids. Everyone loved it. I was an elf, and I used to make wooden dollars and hand them out there too."

Not to leave out the furry members of his family, Ron also went down a list of the dogs and cats they had through the years. “Now we have five cats. We really don’t want to get a new dog, because we can’t guarantee how long we will be around to care for it. But, in the past, we always had both dogs and cats in our lives.”

When he looked back at me, he allowed, “Now we have five children, and 14 grandchildren. Our youngest daughter, Beth, looks just like her mother, is smart like her mother, but she’s a real doctor,” he laughed. I learned that Beth is a dermatologist in Hattiesburg with three girls and two boys. I also learned that she was born ten years after her closest sibling. Ron beamed, “It was quite a surprise, because Joyce was 45 and I was 50 when we learned of the pregnancy. Our son, Keith, has been a wildlife agent for 28 years. It is pretty interesting work, as he investigates boating and hunting accidents. Unfortunately, that involves the good, the bad, and the ugly too. Our professions shared

He brought me up to date by outlining, “Dr. Lloyd Guillot retired after 30 years. Shortly after, I retired also and sold the practice to Dr. Blaine Firmin. Dr. Firmin is still in practice there. He updated the equipment, and enhanced it with state of the art technology. Sometimes I wish I could go back and practice with all the modern drugs, inventions and equipment. But I’m so busy after retirement, that is impossible. I used to be involved with everything in Slidell, the Chamber, the PTA, Rotary Club. I enjoyed doing all that.” With that, he presented his resume with a long list of community involvement that dated back from his move to Slidell, and grew longer as did his time in our community.

As a final question, I asked him if he had any future goals for himself. The answer came quickly, “I am writing a book titled, “Dr. Francis, there’s a lady on the phone...” He gave his broad smile and thought back, “I have heard that line for years. No matter what I was in the middle of, someone would come running to get me, imploring insistently with those eight words, and followed by whatever the urgent question was. Seriously, I could even be in the restroom, and they would knock rapidly and repeatedly!" I kept several notebooks full of notes, and it is time to compile them.” I'm looking forward to reading it. What fascinating stories Dr. Ron Francis has to tell!

POSTSCRIPT: Shortly after our interview was complete, Ron's beloved wife of 57 years, Joyce Goubler Francis, passed away. Our thoughts and prayers are with the Francis family.

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Storyteller SERIAL KILLER? 1930 Other than a few businesses in town, only 28 people had telephones in the entire county. All, including the business phones, were managed by Estelle Harper from a switchboard located in her home. She shared the duties with her two grown daughters, Mabel and Eula May. Eula May had a learning disability. Back then it was thought that she was just a little slow, but today it would probably be diagnosed and treatable as dyslexia. If you tried to call Rupert Jones at number 21, she would invariably ring Ms. Tiny Jean Smith at number 12. This could be problematic sometimes because Rupert was the undertaker. Just as telephones were few in the county, so were the number of law enforcement officers. There were four to be exact, the sheriff and three deputies. Each deputy worked an eighthour shift and shared one car. The size of

light bulb installed on the front of the house. If there was an emergency, Estelle or one of her daughters would notify all the county telephone subscribers to turn on the blue light. When one of the deputies passed and saw the light, he would know to stop and use the phone to call Estelle, and she would give him the information that was needed.

the force was adequate as there was almost no crime, and the crime that existed was overlooked. Crimes such as moonshining, gambling and cock fighting were just honest ways of making a living at the time. There was no radio communication with law enforcement, so a unique method of transmitting emergency messages was devised. Each home that had a telephone had a blue

It was mid-afternoon when Western Union received the telegram. It was addressed to all law enforcement agencies. It was a lengthy message, and it was what you would call a BOLO (be on the lookout) for Thad Jorgensen. The message stated that it was believed Thad had killed his wife, two children and his in-laws in St. Paul, Minnesota. He then broke into a home in Iowa, killing an elderly couple and stealing their auto. The auto was

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found abandoned in Arkansas and a doctor had been car jacked and his car taken. It was a grey 1930 Chevrolet Coupe, license plate number 2356. The fugitive was to be considered armed and extremely dangerous and should only be approached by trained personnel. It was believed he was headed to Mississippi or Louisiana. The local Western Union office called Estelle and she called all the telephone subscribers with blue lights. Due to it being mid-afternoon, the deputy on duty did not see the light that was turned on. It would not be noticed until the sun had gone down when Deputy Green passed Felix Danton’s house and saw the blue glow. After receiving the message, Deputy Green drove to the sheriff’s house where they laughed at the likelihood that such a notorious criminal would be in such a rural county. If he were in Mississippi, he would probably head to a large town like Meridian or the Gulf Coast, but most likely he had gone to New Orleans. New Orleans was a big town and he could just blend in with the crowd.

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********** The next day, a grey Chevrolet Coupe turned the corner in front of Deputy Green. The car was unfamiliar as he knew and could recognize almost every car in the county. He read the license plate, 2356. He turned on his siren. The car pulled over and the driver exited the automobile and started walking toward the deputy. The deputy pulled his pistol and the man stopped immediately and raised his hands. “Get on the ground,” Deputy Green ordered. “What’s wrong, officer?” as he complied with the deputy’s orders. “If I was speeding, I’m sorry, there is no need for this action. After all, I ain’t no killer or nothing.”

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The deputy laughed, “You ain’t no killer no more. I done apprehended you, and after I get you booked, departments from Minnesota, Illinois and Arkansas will be on their way to talk to you. That is, if I can keep the locals from hanging you. You about the most famous guy we’ve had here since Tom Austin. Even you ain’t as bad as him.” “Bad? I ain’t done nothing.” “What’s your name, mister? I know before you tell me it’s Thad Jorgenson. I’ve always wanted to catch me a guy like you. Spottin’ that car tag was just good detective work on my part.”

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“Wait a minute officer! I’m not Thad Jorgenson. I am Delous Walker.” “Yea, and I’m Abraham Lincoln. Put your hands behind your back.” Shortly, the word was out, and the Western Union operator sent notice that Thad Jorgenson had been caught. Two hours ago, hardly a citizen in town had ever heard of Thad Jorgenson. The word was getting around, and it was not all true. The exaggerated story being told was that he

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Sabadie & Badeaux

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had kidnapped three children, held them captive for days before throwing them alive in the Mississippi River. Then some of the true story was mixed in. Sheriff Cox arrived at the police station and jail in his own car. The county could not afford a car for him and he was more of an administrator now. He had spent 10 years in the military and 10 years with the state police. Being sheriff was more of a civic duty to him than being a law enforcement officer, but he was the most qualified crime investigator of the four. When he arrived, he did not like what he saw. Several men were gathering near the jail and were loud and agitated. The sheriff entered and met the prisoner. Somehow, he knew something was not right about this case. The man he saw was dressed in almost rags. He had cardboard in the bottom of his shoes, as the soles had long ago worn through. Someone that had carjacked and murdered as often as this guy supposedly had done, would have at least stolen a pair of decent shoes. “Undo the handcuffs, Green. If he looks outside, he won’t be going anywhere. Some of those guys have ropes.” The prisoner immediately looked panicked. “You got to believe me. I ain’t done much wrong if anything. Who do you think I am, anyway?” The sheriff told him he was suspected of being Thad Jorgenson and explained the allegations against him. “I ain’t him. I am Delous Walker and I ain’t hurt nobody.” The sheriff questioned, “Whose car is that outside?”

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“I don’t know,” the prisoner answered. “How did you come by it?” “That is what I was coming to tell you when I got stopped. You see, I was walking down the road. I walked thirty miles in the last two days. Nobody would pick me up. I went down a logging road to relieve myself and I see this car. There is a dead man lying in the woods close by. I come to tell you.” “How far away?"

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“’Bout six miles, just south of that next little town north of here.” “Well, Mr. Walker, can you take me to the spot?” “Sho can.” The crowd outside had grown to more than a hundred men and their attitudes were angry. “Green, tell the crowd we are coming out and if anyone steps even accidentally in my way, I will kill him.” Green replied, “Sheriff, them’s our people out there. You can’t shoot one of them to save this murderer.” “We don’t know that he is a murderer. There will be no lynching on my watch as long as there is breath in my body. Do you understand that, Green?” “Yes, sir, but don’t count on me to shoot one of our own.”

Agitated, the sheriff was very direct. “I need you too much to fire you right now, but I should.” Green did as the sheriff directed. The men stepped back and allowed the sheriff and his prisoner to make their way to the car.

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The prisoner directed the sheriff to a dirt trail off the main highway. Just as he had said, there was a dead man lying in the dirt. He looked much more like a criminal than the prisoner and, after examining the body, the sheriff left with his prisoner to find a house with a blue light. He then placed a call to number 21, Rupert, the undertaker.

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Tiny Jean was confused when she answered and the sheriff abruptly said, “We got a cold one here. Come get him.” The body was picked up and examined at the funeral home. It was then photographed, and distinguishing features were sent to all law enforcement interested in the apprehension of Thad Jorgenson. The town settled down since the murderous lunatic was presumed dead. There were no grounds to hold Walker as he had not stolen the car, just used it to report a dead body. He was released on foot just before dark on Saturday evening. Who killed Thad would be another mystery.

Jan J. Brown

********** The next morning, the news was startling. The body described was not Jorgenson. Nowhere was it mentioned that he had terrific scars on his body due to a boiler explosion when he was young. Who was this man?

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It was not until Sunday afternoon that it was learned that a salesman with Swift Packing Company had failed to check in as planned. He typically would either stay at the local hotel or, if he felt like it, drive on and check into the Jung Hotel in New Orleans. His family was concerned. Never, in this town, had local law enforcement been so busy. A suspected killer had been arrested and released. A suspected killer’s body had been found but proved not to be him. A salesman had not arrived at his destination, causing concern to his family. An unidentified “John Doe” was lying in the local funeral home waiting identification. This was a lot of action for a four-man sheriff’s department.

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********** The sheriff now turned his attention to the missing salesman with a strong premonition that it had something to do with the dead John Doe. If John Doe was the missing salesman, his name was Dennis Overby from Memphis, Tennessee. The sheriff then posted the particulars of the description of the deceased man as related by Rupert Jones. He included the fact that there was a scar on the right side of his body. Possibly a sign of an appendectomy. There was also a missing left small toe. Within hours, Dennis Overby was the name of the corpse and his body was being prepared for shipment to Memphis when the Panama Limited came through town that evening. After a long two days, the sheriff went home.

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Jessica Raymond

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**********

the murder of Overby. Delous Walker.

"Where is the man in the Ford?"

Monday morning, a county highway worker saw something suspicious at the edge of the right of way. On closer examination, it was the body of a local woman. It appeared she had been dead only a very short time. She was identified as Nellie Hinton, a wellrespected lady that was a nurse at the local hospital. At the time of her death, she was on her way to work for her seven o’clock shift. Something went badly wrong. Where was her car? Where was Dennis Overby’s car?

With the prisoner secure in the rear of his car, Sheriff Cox was aggravated that he had been wrong in his assessment of Walker's innocence. So aggravated, he did not say a word to his prisoner.

“When they pulled me over, he just kept going.”

The sheriff reasoned that Thad Jorgensen had hijacked Overby, killed him and taken his car, abandoning the doctor’s car which had been found by Walker. If the murder of Nellie Hinton was connected, then Jorgensen at some point in time, while in possession of Walker’s car, could have killed Mrs. Hinton in order to switch cars.

Glancing in the rear-view mirror, the sheriff said, “What do you mean, lucky?”

********** Another telegram arrived. Relatives of the murder victims in St. Paul offered a reward for the apprehension of Jorgensen and likewise did the relatives of the Iowa couple. The reward was sizable for the day, $800. A BOLO was posted for Mrs. Hinton’s car which was a 1924 Ford and the automobile of Dennis Overby which was a 1927 Dodge. Just two miles from the Mississippi-Louisiana border, Overby’s car was spotted. The driver was taken to the Magnolia, Mississippi jail awaiting the arrival of Sheriff Cox. The sheriff was shocked to see who was being held for

“I’m sho glad you come and get me, Sheriff. You a good man.” The sheriff did not answer. “I should have known something was wrong. I usually don’t get that lucky.”

“Getting a ride all the way to New Orleans and, better yet, being given a car to drive.” “Ok, Walker, tell me another lie. Tell me what happened.” "I slept in an abandoned barn until just about daylight this morning. I was walking down the road. I see two cars on the side of the road and a man standing by this Dodge. He said he was on his way to New Orleans and had a friend following him in the Ford. They got in an argument and the friend thumbed a ride and left him there with two cars. He said he had a sale for the Ford in New Orleans and, if I would follow him in the Dodge, he would give me $25. Sheriff, you know how long it's been since I had $25 in my pocket? A long time.” Sheriff Cox felt he was being lied to again but felt the story was worth probing.

“You did not tell that to the officer that stopped you?” “He didn’t ask.” By now Jorgensen would be in New Orleans and had probably abandoned the Ford. The sheriff sent a telegram describing the car and the man as Walker had described them to him. It was Officer Arceneaux’s first day on the job. He spotted the Ford at Morrison’s Restaurant on Gentilly Boulevard. He did not know if the driver had abandoned the car or was inside the restaurant. The officer drove on past, not wanting the driver to spot him if he was nearby. He parked and watched the car. In a few minutes, another New Orleans policeman passed by. Officer Arceneaux signaled him to stop. They both approached the car. It was not occupied. They then entered the restaurant. There Jorgeson sat, and he made no effort to avoid the arrest. Two days later, Delous Walker received wired money by Western Union. It was the reward money, $800. He had never been so wealthy. The sheriff suggested he buy a pair of shoes, but he said he saw no use in wasting good money. He then cut a thick piece of cardboard and placed it in his shoe.

John S. Case January 2019

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“Your Estate Matters” By Ronda M. Gabb, NP, JD, RFC

2019 FIGURES HERE IS A LIST OF IMPORTANT FIGURES FOR 2019 THAT WE USE REGULARLY IN OUR LAW PRACTICE: GIFT TAX: The amount you are free to give

to each person for this calendar year without either party having to ﬁle anything with the IRS is $15,000. This means a married couple could give $30,000 to each recipient. This is called the annual exclusion gift amount. The lifetime gift tax exemption amount has been raised to $11,400,000 per donor. The amount one spouse may gift for free to the other spouse who is not a U.S. Citizen: $155,000, and an unlimited amount to a spouse who is a U. S. Citizen.

ESTATE TAX: The amount you may leave to your

loved ones at your death free of any estate taxes or Louisiana state inheritance taxes has been raised to $11,400,000 per decedent. This means that a married couple may leave up to $22,800,000 to their loved ones estate, inheritance tax free! The top marginal tax rate for estates that exceed these amounts remains at forty (40%) percent.

IRAS: The contribution limit for Traditional IRAs

was raised to $6,000 per year for those under age 50, and $7,000 per year for those 50 or older. Many other retirement contribution levels were raised as well.

MEDICAID: For Medicaid (not Medicare) to pay for skilled nursing home care for one spouse, the “at home” community spouse may retain up to $126,420 in countable resources. The primary home (with equity not to exceed $585,000) is not considered as a “countable” resource, but after the death of both spouses Medicaid may seek estate recovery against the home. Medicaid will not institute estate recovery against the home if an heir’s income is 300% or less of the Federal Poverty Guidelines. The following are annualized 300% figures based on family

Legal-ease size for 2019: (1) $36,420, (2) $49,380, (3) $62,340, (4) $75,300, (5) $88,260. For example, if ANY heir with a family of four makes less than $75,300 a year, Medicaid will not seek recovery against the entire home, not just that heir’s portion. For Medicaid purposes, a single person who is in a nursing home may keep only up to $2,000 in countable resources, a married couple who are both in a nursing home may keep only up to $3,000 in countable resources. For Medicaid purposes, the amount of monthly income the “at home” spouse may keep of the “institutionalized” spouse’s monthly income is up to $3,160.50 per month. This assumes the “at home” spouse had no other income.

VA AID & ATTENDANCE PENSION: For the VA Aid & Attendance Improved Pension Program, the monthly tax-free beneﬁt for both a qualifying Veteran and Spouse needing care is $2,230; for the Veteran only is $1,881, for the Widow of a qualifying Veteran: $1,210; and for two qualifying Veterans married to each other, is $2,984. The asset resource limit for a qualifying Veteran, either married or single, is $126,420. SENIOR FREEZE: To have the assessed value of

your Homestead “frozen” according to the “Senior Freeze” laws, an owner of the property must be 65 years of age or older, reside in the property, and have an Adjusted Gross Income (AGI) of $75,594 or less for 2019. You must provide your assessor proof of your date of birth and a copy of your tax return.

40 Louis Prima Drive, Covington, LA (off Hwy 190, near Copeland’s) Ronda M. Gabb is a Board Certified Estate Planning and Administration Specialist certified by the Louisiana Board of Legal Specialization. She is a member of the American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys, National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys and the Governor’s Elder Law Task Force. Ronda grew up in New Orleans East and first moved to Slidell in 1988, and now resides in Clipper Estates.

40 Louis Prima Drive (off Hwy 190, behind Copeland’s) • Covington, Louisiana • (985) 892-0942 • www.rondamgabb.com

The Move By Rose Marie Sand

or months, I thought about how it would happen. I fantasized about it every night, until my dreams finally became reality.

For only the fifth time in my life, I moved into a new home. There are two things that can send your friends and family running – asking for too many rides to the airport, and helping you move. I vowed to at least avoid the latter. But my dear brother-in-law, David, volunteered his truck and his time to help me, though I packed up my stuff on my own. I was only moving across Slidell; but, then again, I own a convertible that has less space to pack than your average little red wagon. But I could pack up small boxes of stuff – and boy did I learn about how much stuff accumulates in seven closets and a downstairs storage room.

And therein lies the tale – stairs. Lots and lots of stairs in a split-level condo. They seemed like a never-ending journey as I lugged box after box after box to the back seat of my convertible. In preparation for this move, I’d given away or sold all of my furniture except for two beds, my cedar chest from 1968, two TVs and a couple of rockers. Not much, I thought, till I tackled those closets. And, although I’d purged for months, giving away clothes and art supplies and kitchen things, I learned I still had more things than expected. Oh, how I loved giving away things – talking up things like plants, projects and a ceramic cat to anyone who came around. Yeah, I talked that cat up and it found a home! The idea that things I’d long since taken for granted would now have new homes appealed to me as much as the idea that I’d have less stuff to haul down those dreaded stairs.

Then I hired a moving company and began to find bigger boxes to pack. I carefully put Post-it notes with G’s and MB’s and K’s, and told the movers to put things in the appropriate places… garage, master bedroom and kitchen. I didn’t want to actually write the letters on the boxes ‘cause I had this crazy idea I could save the boxes for a future move. I found uses for all those Amazon boxes of stuff I’d ordered and then probably given away before the move…commercialism thy name is Me. Then I began to worry that the Post-it notes would fall off during packing, so I found blue painter's tape and taped the notes to the boxes. There, I had this thing licked. My realtor had staged my place with grey furnishing that reminded me of a hotel; I looked forward to hanging my colorful art again. Although I truly loved my condo since I washed up on the Northshore post-Katrina, the time

was here on a bright Monday morning to move to a new place...

So, within 20 minutes, my neice Amy and her husband, Corey, and neice Katie and her children, Shelby and Mia, all showed up at my door with ice cream. Now, that made everything better, of course!

When the movers pulled up, they had a truck larger than I expected. My grand plan had been for the two men and their truck to trudge the big bed, and the next day I’d keep bringing the smaller boxes. There was some stuff I hadn’t even packed yet. Moving my large bed turned out to be the bed from hell, but the guys were up for it. Then they kept telling me that there was more room on that big truck and they could take more on the move. So, what I’d thought was going to be two or three hours with the movers, turned out to be five or six. Because I started shoving things in black bags, and decided that never having to haul boxes – be they large or small – up and down stairs again was so worth it. The downside of all that was once the movers left my new place, I had no idea where stuff was. K boxes were in G, because they hadn’t been marked.

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Nightgowns were somewhere, but hell if I could find them. I had no idea where my shampoo and toothbrush were. I was kinda pitiful that night, really, until I found a travel case with the essentials, took a shower and got in bed. At 7:30 pm. My niece, Amy, texted me just as I was feeling despondent that I had no TV set to fall asleep to.

Within a few days, with help from my brother Joe, sister-in-law Gay, brotherin-law Richard, sister-in-law Elaine, and brother-in-law David (I’m shamelessly trying to name everyone to thank them in print!), I could find things like forks and makeup. In time, the lists of things to do and the boxes have been dealt with. I’ve begun the process of living in my new house. The problems that were keeping me up nights became the organic flow that lets me enjoy the new place. I learned that my family and friends will always chip in to help, and may still even give me rides to the airport one day. But most important – I never will live in a place with stairs again!

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By Mike Rich, CFP® Pontchartrain Investment Management

TIME TO REFLECT little kid you see here is one of them: Posey Jane. She’s three years old, and sometimes I find myself wondering how God could create such an adorable creature.

It’s a new year, and, for me, I’m counting my blessings. I’m the luckiest guy in the world. I have a wonderful wife, three great children who have married incredible spouses, and a successful business. I’m reasonably healthy, I work with a nice bunch of people, and I have clients who trust me. I have friends who like me, a Sunday school class that thinks I know what I’m talking about, and a car that starts every day. My roof doesn’t leak, there is food in our pantry, and the air conditioner blows cold. I’m on top of the world.

Posey’s opportunities in this world are limitless. For sure, she has a lot of advantages: two wonderful and responsible parents, four grandparents who would stop at nothing to help her, and a family safety net that is made of steel mesh. I hope she makes the best of her good fortune. As her Poppy, there is a lot I want to teach Posey about life and how to succeed, and maybe I’ll get that chance. Here are some of the things I hope we can talk about as we share life together:

My blessings don’t end there. One of the greatest joys Mary and I have is our six beautiful grandchildren. The cute

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8. The most important asset you will ever have is your ability to earn a living. The best investment you can make is to improve your skills and knowledge. Never stop learning.

1. Money will not buy happiness; it will, however, buy options. 2. Never, ever, give up on something you want to accomplish. 3. Everyone you meet – and I mean everyone – has known sadness, loneliness, and despair in life. Remember this, and you will look at and treat people differently.

9. Hard work almost always pays off. 10. One of the most beautiful words you can ever say to someone is his or her first name. 11. Some people are born into wealth. That is, however, not the way for most of us.

4. If, at age 25, you invest $150 every month for 45 years and receive an average rate of return of 7%, you will have $572,207.72 when you are 70 years old. That’s math, not magic.1

12. If your life is focused on keeping up with the Joneses, you will soon discover that there is always another Jones family living around the corner.

5. When you shake someone’s hand, shake it firmly and look that person in the eye. You will make them feel special.

13. Nice experiences with your family and friends will almost always win out over material goods.

6. There is nobility in every useful occupation.

14. Real strength comes from being kind to people.

7. One of the sure roads to financial misery is credit card debt that you cannot pay off every month.

15. The 75 seconds you spend hand-writing a note to someone, addressing the envelope, and dropping it in the mail could make that person’s day special. 16. Share whatever wealth you achieve with people who need some help. You won’t miss the money. I’ve been writing for this magazine since edition number six. I’ve found that nothing makes a month go by faster than a deadline, and a lot of months have gone by in a flash. When people tell me they enjoy my articles, I’m honored and humbled. I write about my family because we’re like most of my clients: we work hard, we want to enjoy life, and we realize that most good things don’t get handed to us. Thanks for reading, happy New Year, and call me if you think what I write about money might work for you. 1 This is a hypothetical example and is not representative of any specific situation. Your results might vary. The hypothetical rate of return used does not reflect the deduction of fees and charges inherent to investing. Investing involves risk, including loss of principal. Securities and Advisory Services offered through LPL Financial, a Registered Investment Advisor, Member FINRA/SIPC. The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual.

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“I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a ﬁeld somewhere and don’t notice it. People think pleasing God is all God cares about. But any fool living in the world can see it always trying to please us back.” ― Alice Walker, The Color Purple

n 1983, Alice Walker became the first African American woman to win the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction for her novel, The Color Purple. With the publication of the novel, the world’s fascination with the lives of a group of African American women living in rural Georgia during the Depression era began. Translated into over twenty-five languages with over five million copies in print, The Color Purple is a powerful story that both fascinates and repels. As Celie, Nettie, Shug and Sofia struggle to survive and ultimately triumph, their stories call into question the very foundations of faith, love and redemption. In 1985, Steven Spielberg directed the film adaption of the novel which became a huge critical and financial success. The film was nominated for eleven Academy Awards, but won none. It received four Golden Globe nominations and won Best Actress in a Drama. Whoopi Goldberg received that award for her performance as Celie, launching her career. The film also starred Danny Glover, Destreta Jackson, Margaret Avery, and Oprah Winfrey in her film debut. The novel was adapted into a musical play in 2005, running for over two years on Broadway. The musical was revived in 2015, running for an additional two years and garnering numerous Tony and other critical awards. Over ten touring companies have taken the musical around the world. The regional premiere of The Color Purple musical will be January 11, 2019 at Cutting Edge Theater in Slidell. The show is scheduled to run through February 16, 2019. The theater, which

just completed its tenth year, is known for mixing popular musical theater with cutting edge theatrical pieces in its eclectic seasons. The Color Purple is a mixture of both superb musical theater and ground breaking subject matter. Being part of this production has energized members of the cast. Cast member Jeremy Lloyd said, “Bringing The Color Purple to the community is going to showcase many new talented performers to the Cutting Edge stage. The story will have the audience on a complete emotional roller coaster. One minute, you’re having a Holy Ghost good time at church, then the next, you’re fuming mad learning the relationship of Pa and a young pregnant Celie. That’s all in the opening act. The audience will leave feeling empowered, hopeful, and resilient.” The show centers on the story of Celie, a young black woman born into poverty and raised in horrific circumstances. Celie’s faith in God and inner beauty cause her to grow into a much beloved and admired woman. At Cutting Edge, the role of Celie will be played by Brittney James-Crayton, an experienced singer and actress who teaches in New Orleans. At auditions for the musical, Brittney told director Brian Fontenot, “I was born to play this role.” Celie’s courage and fortitude resound in the second act of the show as she sings out, “I may be poor, I may be black, I may be ugly, but I am here.”

my life. Celie’s life paralleled my life’s hurdles and obstacles. However, just as in Celie’s story, we both endured, withstood and finally, with the help of many women that have touched my life, we grew and nurtured in that dirt and overcame.” Celie’s primary antagonist is Mister, the man her father gave her to at the age of fourteen. Samuel R. Warren, a staff member of Northshore High School, will play Mister. Sam has a long career in comedy and is a frequent performer in churches across the Gulf Coast region as Deacontwo Save. This is his first stage role in eight years. Of his character, Sam says, “He’s a man with a mean spirit, but he’s covering up who he should be.” Mister’s story is also one of redemption, inspired by Celie, the woman who bore the brunt of his frustration and anger for many years. Sam, in the role of Mister, will ask the audience, “So tell me how a man do good when all he know is bad.”

Cast member Theresa Augustine wrote, “From the first time I knew of The Color Purple, I felt as though Alice Walker was walking through many parts of 25

Cast member Pamela Williams wrote, “The Color Purple isn’t just a musical. To me, it’s a story of empowerment, liberation, and restoration. It reminds me of the scripture Ecclesiastes 7:8 which states, Better is the end of a matter than the beginning of a matter…” Celie’s sister, Nettie, will be played by Marquita Smooth-Sanders. Marquita has been singing her entire life with the nationally acclaimed Dynamic Smooth Family. She is a seasoned performer and teacher who is expanding her repertoire into theater. Marquita is inspired by the message of The Color Purple. “We can take joy in knowing that whatever suffering or pain that is experienced doesn’t last always. We learn from Ms. Celie that when we tap into our strength, never losing hope and faith in God, we too will be able to truly know what it means to appreciate the color purple. We too, can LIVE!” Shug Avery, a sultry blues singer, is Mister’s long time love fixation, who occasionally entertains his advances. Shug is a preacher’s daughter who was shunned for dubious morals. It is through Shug that Celie first learns the possibilities of love and kindness. Played by Thais Kitchens, winner of the 2018 Upper Cut Award for Best Vocalist in a

tribute show, Shug brings down the house in the rousing speakeasy number “Push Da Button.” In “Too Beautiful for Words,” Shug tries to help Celie see her inner beauty in a world that has only labeled her ugly. In the 2015 Broadway revival, the role of Shug Avery was played by Academy Award and Grammy winner, Jennifer Hudson.

“Here’s the thing, say Shug. The thing I believe. God is inside you and inside everybody else. You come into the world with God. But only them that search for it inside ﬁnd it. And sometimes it just manifest itself even if you not looking, or don’t know what you looking for.” ― Alice Walker, The Color Purple Sofia, played by powerhouse singer Shylanda Pam of Abita Springs, is Celie’s first friend apart from her sister Nettie. Married to Mister’s son, Harpo (played by the multi-talented Jeremy Lloyd), Sofia is a bold and courageous woman, well ahead of her time. In the 1985 movie, the role of Sofia was played by Oprah Winfrey.

When Sofia’s husband attempts to hit her, she fights back with the furious “Hell, No!” musical number supported by a phalanx of her inspiring sisters. Lisa Williams, playing one of Sofia’s sisters, wrote, “Leelee will be her sisters’ rock and her tree in whatever situation there is. “ Playing one of Sofia’s other sisters inspired newcomer Calvinette Rogers to say, “To be in this production is a dream come true, my very first production. This play motivates me and reminds me of the strength that I have as a woman. It kills the low self image I had, just as Celie had. I am so thankful first to my Lord and Savior, and then to Brian Fontenot, for giving me a chance.” Providing information and commentary on all the play’s happenings are the busybody Church Ladies played by Missy Griffith, Jennifer Baptiste and Vera Sims. They provide hilarious comic moments as no detail is too small to escape their notice. Especially delightful is their opinion of Shug Avery, “She got them heebies and jeebies from moonshine and cheap wine.” Missy Griffith feels that, “Words cannot express what being a part of this worldrenowned musical has meant to me. I am deeply honored and inspired at the

same time. This musical has taught me that you can come from a low and timid place in your life, yet grow and learn your worth.” Missy, who lives in Picayune, Mississippi, is the recipient of the Upper Cut Award for Best Supporting Actress in a Tribute Show in 2018. Cast member Becky Alphonso summarized the feelings of many involved in the production. “I love The Color Purple because it is a black woman’s narrative of the strength that women of color possess. I think the show is so important because it reminds us as people of color to use our voices to stand up for injustice in ways we would not have been able to back then. Now we have the ability to stand up for what we believe in and make it known when we otherwise would have been silenced.” The Cutting Edge Theater, located on Robert Boulevard, is owned by Brian Fontenot and Richard Fuentes. The couple began producing plays on the weekends in the Attractions Salon, owned by Brian, on weekends. After years of converting the space into a makeshift theater on a weekly basis, they invested in a large new space and installed a new 100+ seat theater with comfortable seating and a professional stage environment.

Brian Fontenot is the reason The Color Purple is coming to Slidell. “I love the movie. I watch it whenever it is on television. I think I was a black woman in a previous life,” joked Brian. “I saw the original Broadway production and loved it. Then the revival came out with simpler technical requirements and I knew that we could do that version at Cutting Edge Theater.” As soon as the rights to do the musical became available, Brian applied. “We will be the first theater in the State of Louisiana to do this production.”

“The message Miss Celie brings to us in The Color Purple is that with faith, hope and courage we can overcome anything. With all the troubles we face in the world, we all need to share this joyous lesson.” -Brian Fontenot, Cutting Edge Theater Mounting such an expensive production is always a risk to a small theater, but Brian believes in the show. “Everyone, regardless of the color of their skin, has faced troubles and we can all rejoice

when the underdog comes out on top. Adversity isn’t limited to rural Georgia in 1930. Hardships are faced and overcome everyday in America, from your race, sex, sexual orientation or even religious beliefs. Everyone can relate to this musical and can share in the uplifting ways its characters learn and grow.” “I also think the show is a perfect way to showcase the many talented black performers in our area who don’t have enough opportunities to share their talents with the community. This is a winning situation on many levels,” Fontenot continued. The Color Purple is being co-directed by Brian Fontenot and Suzanne Stymiest. Musical Direction by Aaron “Black Magic” Turnipseed. Choreography by Emma Daigrepont and Jennifer Elizabeth. Costumes by Brian Fontenot. Lights, sound and photography by Richard Fuentes. Cast members not quoted above include Aaron Turnipseed, Levi Landry, Brandon P. Conerly, Christien Trotter, Steven Burke Sr., Jeffrey Patterson, Chandler Baptiste, Jamyla Vidato, Nathan Bauerle, and Taylor Kidd.

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Weather Story & Photos by Donna Bush

It’s a humid, warm fall day. Another cool front will be making its way soon, kicked off by rain and possible thunderstorms. I hear the rumble of thunder off in the distance as I type my current story. I hit save quickly and head out the backdoor yelling, “Lucy! Come on Lucy-lou!” Lucy is my indoor/outdoor kitty and terrified of thunder. She is definitely a flight risk. No sign of her. I head back inside, grab my phone and pull up the local radar. Hmmm... There is some rain around but looks like it may break up before it gets to us. How often do you check the weather? How many weather apps do you have on your phone? I have at least 4 or 5 and that’s not counting the ones that are more photography specific. I have one that I like for their radar images and another one that I prefer for their tropical storm discussions. Before any photo shoot, I check several weather apps. Will it be hot? Raining? Do I need to pack my camera raingear and wear my purple rubber boots that match my purple rain coat? Will it be cold? Should I layer or wear shorts? 30

We live in a beautiful area that allows lots of outdoorsy time. Whether you are planning a fishing trip with the family, a round of golf, kayaking on our beautiful bayous, or just want to know if you can mow the grass this weekend, we all turn to the weather to help us make these decisions.

Regardless of your favorite app, all that weather information ultimately originates right here in Slidell! Yep! Close to the end of Airport Road, past all the subdivisions and just before you reach the Slidell Airport is the National Weather Service (NWS) – New Orleans / Baton Rouge office. It has been there since 1994 when the New Orleans and Baton Rouge offices were merged with the introduction of Doppler Radars. The range of these radars is about a 125-mile radius which led to the reorganization of all the NWS offices throughout the United States based on the radar range. What does a meteorologist do? Routinely, they provide continuous forecasts 24 hours a day on high and low temperatures, chance of precipitation, wind… all the basic weather for southeast Louisiana and 12 counties in southern Mississippi. If a bigger event occurs, such as heavy rains, severe thunderstorms, hurricane threats, snow/sleet, flooding, etc., they begin issuing specialized products dealing with the possible impacts. These are utilized by local, parish, and state government, hospitals, first responders and businesses. For instance, when I worked for the National Finance Center, we were always in close contact with our local office to obtain the latest impact information that could prompt a deployment of our disaster recovery teams to our offsite location. If you’ve lived in southeast Louisiana for any amount of time, you’ve been through a tropical storm warning or watch, maybe even a hurricane warning or watch and, of course, some severe weather warnings. These warnings are born at either the National Hurricane Center in Miami, Florida or the Storm Prediction Center in Norman, Oklahoma. Those locations issue statements that are refined by our office for our local area and sent out to the public. Do you remember the EF3 tornado that caused major damage to New Orleans East in February 2017? Per Frank Rivette, Warning Coordination Meteorologist, the radar image showed a classic textbook hook echo effect which caught everyone’s attention nationwide. As he explained, that type of image is an extremely rare sight in our area, but quite common for typical tornado alley locations such as Oklahoma. Yes, weather prediction is one of those geeky, scientific jobs. Ben Schott, Meteorologist in Charge, shared, “We are all weather geeks. Ask any person out there on the floor and they will all have some origin story (defining weather moment) that made them want to learn more, to become a meteorologist. It might be a tornado, a flood, or a hurricane, depending on where they grew up. But they all have their 'aha!' moment. Anytime you get a bunch of meteorologists together, sooner or later, you are going to hear their origin story.” Ben’s story? “I grew up in Indiana. I saw a tornado rip up the cornfields behind the house. Sold! Then the same year we had a huge blizzard. How can we get that much snow?” And a meteorologist was born!

Doppler Effect An increase (or decrease) in the frequency of sound, light, or other waves as the source and observer move toward (or away from) each other. The effect causes the predictable change in pitch noticeable in a passing siren or train.

Ozone Amateur Radio Club When threatening weather strikes, the Ozone Amateur Radio Club jumps into action. The club, formed in 1964, is made up of Ham radio operators with an Emergency Communications Center located in Slidell about a block from the Slidell Police Department. I remember Ham radios from growing up in south Mississippi. My dad experimented in everything – Ham radio was only one of many things. Enviously, I watched my older brother tapping out Morse code on the radio. Back then, you had to earn a Morse code certification before moving to a talking license. All of that has changed now. No longer must you have a Morse code license, even though many in the club do. What benefit does Ham radio bring? If you were here during and/or after Hurricane Katrina, you know how difficult communications were. Landlines, cell towers, internet communications were non-existent. Even satellite phones weren’t reliable. Do you know what was reliable? Ham radios! The club provided communications for NWS Slidell, local hospitals, and Slidell and St. Tammany Parish Emergency Operation Centers. They were the only means of communication for many. Most NWS locations have Ham radios installed and supported by volunteers enabling communication.

Have you ever seen or heard of a weather balloon? I had 31

How Does Radar Work? The WSR-88D obtains weather information (precipitation and wind) based on returned energy generated and received at the Radar Data Acquisition unit. The radar emits a burst of microwave energy from a 28-foot dish inside the radome (the white, soccer ball covering). When the energy strikes anything such as rain, snow, hail, bug, bird or even dust particles contained in the wind, a small amount is reflected back to the antenna. Since there is an exceptionally long time between bursts, the radar spends most of the time "listening" for the reflective energy. The energy travels at the speed of light so measuring the time between sending the pulse and receiving the echo tells how far away the object is. Measuring the change in pitch tells us how fast the object is moving and if it is moving closer to or further away from the radar. This is how tornado like conditions can be seen by the radar.

SKYWARN Storm Spotter Program The National Weather Service established their Skywarn Storm Spotter Program back in the 1960â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s to provide real-time information about weather. The reports can be rainfall, snowfall, sleet, hail, wind, any severe weather event. The Skywarn group is made up of volunteers â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Ham radio operators, first responders, teachers, retirees, anyone who is interested in following the weather. By the way, the same older brother I spoke of in the story is still involved in Ham radios as a Skywarn storm spotter.

heard of one, but honestly, I had no idea why they were used or what they did. This is really cool - twice a day, in a coordinated effort, approximately 900 weather balloons worldwide are launched at the exact same time! The mission is to get a vertical snapshot of the atmosphere, gathering pressure, temperature and dewpoint. I joined Bridgette for the launch of the hydrogen-filled balloon, as it made its way upwards to over 100,000 feet. It can travel for up to two hours and as far away as 125 miles! The data gathered at 10-20,000 feet provides insight to what will occur for us 3-4 days down the road! Who would have thought that? Over the last 10-20 years, with the addition of new and improved tools, the NWS has ramped up their involvement and interaction with local emergency management. Here, their biggest focus is on hurricanes. During the off-season, they provide education to officials about the forecasts that are provided during hurricane season and other major weather events to insure their understanding of information received.

During an actual event, briefings and webinars are held with officials. I live quite close to the Pearl River and, about two years ago, we experienced the highest river stages I’ve seen since I moved to Louisiana. More than a little scared, I reached out to my friend, Jeff, a hydrologist with the Lower Mississippi River Forecast Center, a part of NWS in Slidell. There are only 13 river forecast centers in the United States, which means they have a much larger forecast area than the meteorological forecast center. They provide river forecasting for 240 locations, creating flooding guidance that tells us at what height the river will crest and areas that might encounter problems. Our local NWS office, although not considered a first responder, is so very closely related to the foreground of any weather event in our locale and a lot of events that are not (on the surface) weather related. Say, for instance, that one of the refineries has a leak of a toxic chemical. Wouldn’t the public need to know which way that toxic chemical would travel through the air or the water? Wouldn’t our first responders need to know the wind or water current direction and speed as they move in to assess the situation? All this information comes from our Slidell office. Weather touches every part of life. Not just "should I wear a jacket tomorrow or carry an umbrella?" It’s integral to fire crews trying to extinguish a forest fire, just as much as a pilot flying a commercial plane you are taking to visit family, or a helicopter flying crew out to a rig. Maybe you are taking your family on a vacation fishing trip out of Grand Isle? You certainly want to know the current marine forecast. If there is an accident, knowledge of prevailing winds, water currents or river stages could significantly improve chances of successful search and rescue operations. Not to mention when we have a severe weather or hurricane threat. Our local weather service office provides us with all that and more. I met several meteorologists and hydrologists while researching this story. I can attest to their love of their jobs and their dedication to giving the most accurate and timely information possible, all while striving to protect life and property. As Ben shared, “I can’t believe I get paid to do something that I love this much. Something that I’m such a dork about and I’d do it anyway whether they paid me or not.”

Antique Furniture • Window Fashions • Pottery • Jewelry • & More!

Annette’s House of Decor

1928 FIRST STREET • OLDE TOWNE SLIDELL • 985-265-4551

Slidell Antique Association • 985.641.6316 • slidellantiques.com MEMBERS: Slidell Museum • Antiques & Art on First • Carolynn’s Wonderland Aunt Tiques Curiosities & Collectibles • Magnolia House Antiques Mall The Who Dat Shoppe • Jeanie’s Southern Traditions • Terry Lynn’s Cafe French Bee Interiors • Guilty Treasures • Annette’s House of Decor Slidell Magazine • Third Generation Antiques/Consignments

THIS MONTH JANUARY When we think of January, we think of our New Year’s celebrations, again promise to ourselves that we will stop or start that thing, and hope it’s chilly enough for ﬁreworks because shorts and explosives do not go together. New Year’s celebrations are not just an American tradition. People around the world feast, resolve and celebrate. The earliest recorded New Year’s festivities date back some 4,000 years to ancient Babylon. For the Babylonians, the ﬁrst new moon in late March, with an equal amount of sunlight and darkness, heralded the start of a new year. They marked the occasion with a massive religious festival called Akitu (Sumerian word for barley) that involved a different ritual on each of its 11 days.

ZODIAC SIGNS CAPRICORN December 22 - January 19 Strengths: Resourceful, brave, passionate, stubborn, a true friend Weaknesses: Distrusting, jealous, secretive, violent

AQUARIUS January 20 - February 18 Strengths: Progressive, original, independent, humanitarian Weaknesses: Runs from emotional expression, temperamental, uncompromising, aloof

FUN FACTS January is named after the Roman god Janus, who was always shown as having two heads. He looked back to the last year and forward to the new one. The Anglo-Saxons called January “Wulfmonath” as it was the month hungry wolves came scavenging at people’s doors. It’s National Soup Month in the U.S. More couples separate or divorce in January than in any other month. Must be the terrible Christmas gifts. The Roman Senate, in 153 BC, declared January 1st to be the beginning of the new year. During the Middle Ages, the Church remained opposed to celebrating New Year's Day - it has only been celebrated in the western world for about 400 years.

BIRTHSTONES January's birthstone is the Garnet. Red garnets have a rich history. Necklaces studded with them adorned the pharaohs of ancient Egypt. Signet rings in ancient Rome featured garnet intaglios that were used to stamp the wax that secured important documents. Red gems were thought to be remedies for inﬂammatory diseases, and to soothe the angry heart.

FLOWER January's birth ﬂower is the carnation. White carnations suggest pure love and good luck, light red symbolizes admiration, while dark red represents deep love and affection.

IN HISTORY

Story by Dawn Rivera Graphics by Devin Reeson

NYE "BALL" DROPS

TRADITIONAL DISHES

Miami, Florida: A 35-foot neon orange with sunglasses lovingly called “Mr. Neon” is dropped.

America: In my house we always have black-eyed peas (symbolizing coins) and rice, cabbage or collards greens (as they're the color of money) and cornbread (the color of gold). The dishes are said to bring good luck in the new year.

Tallapoosa, Georgia: A stuffed possum named Spencer is dropped. Vincennes, Indiana: A giant, 18-foot, 500-pound steel-and-foam Watermelon Ball is raised. Princess Anne, Maryland: A stuffed muskrat in a top hat and bow tie named Marshall P. Muskrat is dropped. New Orleans, Louisiana: Since New Year's Eve 2017, New Orleans has been the internationally televised location in the US Central time zone for the beloved and outrageously viewed "New Year's Rockin' Eve" with Ryan Seacrest. Dothan, Alabama: Nicknamed "The Peanut Capital of the World", this city has an annual "Nut Drop", where a peanut-shaped object is dropped

LOUISIANA HISTORY In 1811, U.S. Rep. Julien Poydras declared Louisiana's right to become a state. On January 8, 1815 the Battle of New Orleans occurred as General Andrew Jackson and American troops defended themselves against a British attack, inﬂicting over 2,000 casualties. Both sides in this battle were unaware that peace had been declared two weeks earlier with the signing of the Treaty of Ghent, ending the War of 1812. In 1861, Fort Pike, LA is occupied by Louisiana Troops. In 1967, it becomes ofﬁcial. The New Orlean's NFL franchise is granted the name "Saints". In 2012, Slidell native, 13-year-old Nicholas Drayton makes his prime-time debut on 30 Rock. SLIDELL - MUST SEE! - Science Channel series MYTHBUSTERS JR. premieres on Wednesday, January 2 at 8pm and will feature Slidell’s own Jesse Lawless (15) a builder of custom hot rods!!

DID YOU KNOW? Our favorite New Year’s dishes have roots in African and West Indian traditions and were most likely brought over by slaves to North America. Spain: At the stroke of midnight, Spaniards eat one grape for every toll of the clock bell. Mexico: Tamales, corn dough stuffed with meat, cheese wrapped in a banana leaf or corn husk, and often served with menudo, a soup that is famously good for hangovers, are served. Netherlands: Fried oil balls, or oliebollen, are doughnut-like dumplings made by dropping a scoop of dough spiked with currants or raisins into a deep fryer and dusted with powdered sugar. Austria and Germany: Revelers drink a red wine punch with cinnamon and spices (like boozy apple cider), eat suckling pig for dinner and decorate the table with little pigs made of marzipan, called marzipanschwein. Japan: Buckwheat soba noodles, or toshikoshi soba, is eaten at midnight on New Year's Eve. Mochi rice cakes are also traditional. Italy: In Italy, they make Cotechino con lenticchie, a sausage and lentil stew that is said to bring good luck, and zampone, a stuffed pig's trotter.

Slidell Newcomers Club Extending the Hand of Friendship Since 1962 Ladies, have you recently moved to the Slidell Area? If so, you're invited to join the Slidell Newcomers' Club, a non-profit organization that was established in 1962 to enable newcomers to the area to make social contacts, acquaint them with activities of the Slidell area, and initiate social activities. Membership is open to residents who have moved here within the last two years, but not limited to new ladies moving to the area. Are you recently retired? Slidell Newcomers' Club would love to have you join them. Although membership is comprised of women only, husbands are included in many of the social activities. Newcomers has a wide range of Interest Groups to encourage members to make friends and become involved in the community.

Something for Everyone! Do you like games? You may enjoy SNC's bowling, bridge, or one of their several bunko groups, including a couples' bunko night. There's also euchre, pokeno, and a Texas Hold 'Em group, to name a few.

Perhaps you like shopping, day-tripping or going out to dine? You can do that in the pleasant company of SNC members. What better way to become acquainted with the area as they visit different malls, sights of interest and restaurants! What about crafts like scrapbooking, or are you a reader who would enjoy a book club? Are you a gardener, or simply enjoy being outside and smelling the roses? SNC has a large and very established Garden Club for anyone with a green thumb (or anyone hoping to get one!) Socializing while learning something new, or perhaps offering something new to other SNC members, is an excellent way to make friends. Like to party? Every year, the SNC holds their annual Mardi Gras Ball with the court selected from their membership. There are many members needed to help with the planning and decorations for this fun filled event. The ball is a Slidell tradition and one of the highlights of the Slidell Mardi Gras season. SNC has an active and creative Social Chairman who organizes several functions

during the year to be enjoyed by both you and your spouse, including their annual Crawfish Boil. All of these activities are a great opportunity to get together with others who have similar interests as yourself. With the exception of the Garden Club, there are no extra dues for these gatherings of kindred souls. The only requirement is a willingness to met new people and take part in fun filled activities. SNC members come from all over the world and have settled here in the Slidell area, some for a short time and some have found their "forever home." The Slidell Newcomers' Club has helped ease the transition from another state or country. Members have felt kinship by sharing a willingness to make friends and become involved with their new hometown.

History In the spring of 1962, Pauline Moore, who was a representative for the Slidell Welcome Wagon, and her friend, Elizabeth Bosco, were having lunch at Bosco's Resturant on Front Street.

Slidell was in the middle of NASA's lunar program. With Michoud in New Orleans East, the NASA complex in Slidell (on Gause where Textron is now) and Stennis Space Center directly over the state line in Mississippi, families from across the country were moving here. Pauline and Elizabeth realized the need to involve other ladies in civic and social activities. Attending the first meeting were ladies from Washington, Alabama, California, Texas, New York, Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Indiana. All were looking for friends in their new hometown. Dues were $1 per year and the luncheons were $1 per month. By 1965, the membership had grown to 25 and, in 1966, the luncheon price had risen to $1.65. In 1966, the Garden Club was formed and Interest Groups began. Then a Bowling League was formed. By 1980, there were 11 Standing Committee Chairs and 9 Interest Groups. By 1973, the membership exceeded 300, so a time limit of 3 years for membership was set. Of course, a lot of the ladies were only in Slidell for 2 or 3 years before their husbands were transferred somewhere else. You had to make friends quickly and jump right into Club activities! In 1964, a group of ladies decided they were enjoying the Club activities so much that they wanted to stay past the 3 years allowed. Over the years, interest in longterm membership grew and the Club voted to allow ladies to remain members as long as they continued to pay dues.

It's Carnival Time! Newcomers' Club has a long history of being involved in Mardi Gras. In 1964, the Club had their first float in the Krewe of

Slidellians. Newcomers also participated in Slidell's first night parade in 1969. Although SNC had held dances for their membership since 1968, their first Mardi Gras Ball was held in 1978 at the Bayou Civic Club. The next year the Ball was moved to the Slidell Auditorium where it was held every year - except 2006 when there was no Ball due to Katrina. Since 2009, the Ball has been held at Northshore Harbor Center, and takes place each year on the 3rd Saturday before Mardi Gras.

Sell-A-Bration! Sell-A-Bration is the premier craft show in Slidell and is one the largest fundraiser for SNC. The craft show is unique in that it requires that all items be handcrafted. Sell-A-Bration had its beginnings as part of a Tasting luncheon in the spring of 1975 and now has grown to have as many as 76 booths and thousands of visitors each year. The show is held in the Northshore Harbor Center and takes place the second weekend of October each year.

Community Outreach Activities SNC members are involved in their adopted community and look for ways to help various groups. Sometimes it's cash or goods and sometimes it's their time and energy. Last February and March, donations of supplies and cash were collected from the club members to benefit The Hospice House of the South and Rainbow Child Care Center. In April, SNC members collected over 250 books to donate to the Leadership Northshore Project in memory of Lt. Ray Dupuy for the Slidell jail library. In May, $500 was raised to benefit Slidell Ladies for Liberty in sending care packages to soldiers. Another $500 was gifted to The

Good Samaritan organization that month. Last November, SNC members presented a check to The Eden House to help with the cause concerning Human Trafficking. Last December, SNC members baked cookies and brought them to the General Meeting so they could be shipped by The Slidell Ladies for Liberty to our local service personnel who are deployed in Afghanistan, and $80 was raised to help pay for the postage. Also in December, some of the SNC Interest Groups donated bicycles to St. Lukeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s to give less fortunate children for Christmas. Most recently, an entire car full of donations was given to the Slidell Animal Shelter, along with a $227 donation. With so many generous ladies in the club, you can see that Slidell Newcomers' Club is all about GIVING BACK! If you are a woman who lives in Slidell, Lacombe or Pearl River, you should join the fun of the Slidell Newcomers' Club! Membership is $35 annually and entitles you to attend luncheons, Interest Groups, and Club functions. A newsletter is published monthly to keep up with the club activities and news. For more info on joining, call Nelda at (985) 641-5467.

Slidell Newcomers' Club 41st Annual Mardi Gras Bal Masque "An Evening of Ziegfeld Follies" February 16, 2019 Northshore Harbor Center Catered by Speckled T's Music by Rock Kandy Formal Attire 6:30PM - Doors open 7:00PM - Buffet dinner 8:00PM - Tableau Tickets - $65/person BYOB For tickets, please call Judy Warnke at (985) 646-3859 37

NEW YEAR BLESSINGS By Very Reverend W.C. Paysse, V.F. Pastor, Our Lady of Lourdes Church Dear Friends, As we leave 2018 behind and welcome 2019, we reflect in our minds on the past year with all its ups and downs, its challenges, trials and losses in our families, communities and nation. And we can honestly say, “Together, we got through it.” Now with 2019, we look toward the future, the unknown joys and challenges with a renewed enthusiasm for lessons to be learned, surprising discoveries, new relationships, partnerships and new beginnings. Simply put, we say, “Happy New Year blessings 2019!” The first thing many of us think about with a new year are all the “resolutions” we make, and how many of us don’t quite fulfill them? Don’t feel discouraged! I say, “Keep trying, and never give up.” For me, a resolution is like a diving board at the pool. It is a starting point, a springing forward towards a new direction in life. Yes, sometimes our resolutions are repeats, but the important thing is to begin anew and welcome the opportunity. Alfred Lord Tennyson, a writer and poet, once said, “Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering, ‘It will be happier.’” The new year affords us another chance to try again, to be positive and hold on to the gift of fortitude. We must believe that working smarter and harder is like a diving board to assist us in accomplishing our goals in life and moving forward. We must not do the “back stroke” but always the “forward stroke.” I invite our readers to walk the diving board of success in welcoming the new year and meeting head on the challenges that come our way – let’s once again move forward to fulfill our new year resolutions! I recall the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, another poet: “Write it on your heart that everyday is the best day in the year.” Our attitude, our enthusiasm, the way we welcome new ideas and new relationships (personal and business) can impact our lives in a positive or negative way. Being open-minded doesn’t mean giving up our values or ideals, but sometimes taking a risk can surface something better or manageable that we can handle. To root ourselves in God is always a great beginning for everything, especially at the beginning of a new year. To open our hearts to God reveals untold blessings. It is indeed exciting to welcome 2019 because we are all on a new journey in life. We do not know what the year will bring, but we do know that together we can all make a difference in our families, workplaces and communities. Together, we can accomplish our dreams. Together, we can make our community of Slidell and the world more loving, welcoming and peaceful. So let us make the dive together, mount the diving board and jump into 2019! Happy New Year blessings,

Very Reverend W.C. Paysse, V.F. Pastor

JANUARY EVENTS CHURCH 01/01 New Year’s Day, Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God, 8:30am & 10:30am Masses 01/02 RCIA 7pm, Parish Life Center 01/03 That Man Is You with Mass 6am, Parish Life Center Catholic Daughters of America 6:30-7:30pm, Parish Life Center 01/05 First Saturday Devotions, 8:30am Mass followed with Confession, Adoration and Benediction at 10am 01/08 Knights of Columbus Meeting; dinner 6pm, meeting 7pm, KC Hall 01/09 RCIA 7pm, Parish Life Center 01/10 That Man Is You with Mass 6am, Parish Life Center 01/15 Knights of Columbus Fourth Degree Meeting; dinner 6pm, meeting 7pm, KC Hall 01/16 RCIA 7pm, Parish Life Center 01/17 That Man Is You with Mass 6am, Parish Life Center Men’s Club Meeting 7pm, OLL Gym 01/23 RCIA 7pm, Parish Life Center 01/30 RCIA 7pm, Parish Life Center

SCHOOL 01/07 School resumes; Feast of the Epiphany Mass, 8:30am 01/09 Parent-Teacher Cooperative Meeting, 7pm 01/15 Parent-Teacher Conference 01/16 Open House (Pre-K4 – 7th Grade) 9am, Main Campus Open House (Nursery – Pre-K3) 7pm, Early Childhood Campus 01/17 Open House (Pre-K4 – 7th Grade) 7pm, Main Campus 01/18 School Mass, 8:30am 01/21 Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day of Celebration 01/25 School Mass, 8:30am 01/27 1/27-2/2: Catholic Schools Week

Crimi-Mommly INSANE Leslie Story by

Gates

“SILENT SCREAMS” “99.9% of mothers are good people. And they will teach their children a wide variety of skills. And they will all teach them the one most valuable lesson: the lesson of love. As a boy gets older, he begins to identify with his father and he begins to think like him; but what makes him a good man is the love his mom taught him as a boy. Mothers give heart to a boy’s intellect. Girls learn how to handle life's tough situations from both their parents, but they learn what it means to be a strong woman from their mom.” My husband told me this the other night because I needed him to COMMUNICATE to me that I was doing OK as a mom. I asked him to write it down so I would remember. He heard and felt my struggle, then found the words to help me. This doesn’t happen all the time because communication hasn’t been our best marital strength, but, we are getting there. It ain’t easy. We communicate very differently. 40

There have been many stages of raising kids that had me believing the worst in my abilities as a mom. Where the inner chatter of my mind took over the deep knowing in my heart, or the sometimes-unsteady emotions of my heart refused to connect with the objective information in my brain. It gets confusing to know what part to trust in certain situations, leaving the belief that I haven’t gotten ANY of it right with my kids. I had this recurring dream as a child of being kidnapped in the grocery store parking lot. My mom would be walking back out to the car, with me following a step behind because I was mad at her for something. A man would grab me, without her knowing, and drag me to his car while she walked to hers in the opposite direction. The fear was so completely overwhelming that it felt REAL, not like a dream. Whatever anger I felt seconds before, immediately left. And all that filled the space in that

scary moment was the only part that really mattered… her love and protection. I knew if I could scream loud enough, Mama Bear would come out and do what she had to do to save me. The disappointment of my previous actions would no longer exist to her, and the true nature of her love would take the forefront. But, sadly, every time I would scream for her, NOTHING CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH. My ability to communicate was taken away. When I awoke, my whole body would be shaking. Analyzing dreams is one of my things. I could torture you with a whole column on it. There is a lot of truth to our dreams because the subconscious parts we are blind to in waking life, appear to us while our brains, hearts, and bodies are taking a rest and aren’t in the way to screw it all up. Just my “professional opinion” on the subject. My mom is more of a thinker and a worst-case scenario type of gal.

She uses that objective part of her brain to create a safe place in her world before she acts on a feeling. An admirable trait to me, since I am more of a feeler... someone that deals with the consequences once I have experienced the adventure, even if it takes me into “unsafe” places. If it feels right, I do it. As a kid finding my own way, I didn’t admire Mom’s way all the time. This led to a lot of rebellion in me and some unrest between the two of us. I felt misunderstood and she felt unappreciated and unseen. She would encourage me to communicate my feelings, but because they were TOO MUCH, I didn’t really know how to, or where to start without feeling completely crazy or burdensome. It’s why I wrote alone in my room a lot. Why I still write. It’s also why I practiced communication skills with my cat. Poor thing. It just wanted to sleep and I just kept talkin’ that cat UP! God rest his soul. Since I am a certified dream expert and all, it’s now obvious why my mom couldn’t save me from that hard place in the parking lot. Because SHE DIDN'T KNOW. I couldn’t communicate it to her. It came out of my mouth as compete silence, even when I felt all the emotion behind it. Simply put, it was the struggle in my waking life. When I couldn’t find the right words so she could understand all the deep feelings I wrestled with, it came out as anger and rebellion. BLAME. Because I thought she “couldn’t hear me,” it resulted in feeling alone and scared. It wasn’t her fault, she just saw life through a different lens than me. Most people did. And I didn’t have the emotional vocabulary to explain it to the depths that it needed to be explained. There is more going on deep below the surface of our children. You’re not a crappy mom if you don’t know, it’s just a communication barrier. And your kids aren’t total assholes, they just have a lot to say and don’t know how to say it. It took her a little while, but she eventually found a way to reach me and understand me. More than anyone else in my life. It’s why she was the one in my dream. Because I knew, if anyone could do it, it would be her. My children would probably say I communicate TOO MUCH. As would my cat, if he were still alive. Learning when to shut-up is also a form of good communication. So, let's learn together. Here are 7 tips I read on healthy communication with children: 41

7 Tips I Read on Healthy Communication with Children: 1

Talk during the in-betweens.

What were you doing the last time you had a good conversation with your child? I know the answers: walking or driving to school, baking together, bath time, and, of course, bedtime. These times and activities loosen tongues because parent and child aren’t looking at each other. In fact, we are in parallel position. Most of us think talking is supposed to be about relating deeply, but kids actually open up in the middle of doing other things, during what I refer to as the “in-betweens” of life.

Respond to your child with real emotion. Don’t go over the top with reactions, but don’t be a therapist either. Nodding one’s head, naming feelings, and reflecting back is terrific when kids are extremely young or upset or sick or scared. But for the everyday tracking we need to stay in touch with their lives.

Create talking rituals.

Observe your child’s conversational style. You’ve heard about learning or attentional styles, but our kids have hard-wired conversational styles that don’t change much. One child may be a lively morning talker. Another is barely human before the bus arrives, but after school it’s no-holds-barred banter. One of your children likes a lot of back and forth, another needs to talk at a slower pace, a third can’t tolerate questions. The key to openness is to not change what is unchangeable, but instead to respect natural times and ways of talking.

commit to the superficial, and more often than not, the trivial will lead to what’s really going on.

You count,too.

This is big in our child-centered world. Talk about yourself if you want your kids to talk about themselves. Next time at dinner, spend a few moments opening up about your day.

Be a person.

Encourage emotional literacy.

Help your kids tell the story. We focus on academics, but our kids also need to be emotionally literate, able to tell a story from beginning to end. Problems are better solved when one can articulate them to another person and people find solutions together.

Details matter.

Pay attention to the superficial. “You lost quarters under the vending machine. What year were they?” often leads to the real scoop. “I was at the vending machine because I didn’t think anyone would talk to me at lunch.” The trivial is where kids live; they get scared off when we delve for deeper feelings, as in “How did that make you feel?” So,

Give advice.

It’s hard to believe, but our precocious 21st Century kids of all ages still crave direction. After the story, after you’ve responded, then discuss together how your child might handle the situation differently next time. Ask for her ideas, and don’t be afraid to give yours. Try not to lecture and pay attention to those subtle signals of going on too long. Keep it short and use your lifewisdom to guide. When children know where you stand, they feel closer to you and more willing to open up.

If you read those and feel like a total failure at communicating because you missed the mark on a few, it’s all good. You are still in the 99.9% of good people that my husband mentioned. A mother wishing she was better at something, is one of the things that makes her a good mother. When we first moved into our house 11 years ago, I read something that I just KNEW I would need to read over and over the rest of my life. I printed it out, wrapped clear tape all around it, and pinned it to the bulletin board in our kitchen. When all is said and done, we will miss the mark on many things as moms. But, if we are good people, the real, lasting lessons our kids need from us will automatically be communicated to them. It’s up to them what they do with it, and, up to us to decide that we did the best we could with what we knew at the time. With that said, I leave you with the words from the bulletin board. And Mom, I was always looking. Still do.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it and learned that we have to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn’t feel good, and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life. When you thought I wasn’t looking, I heard you say a prayer, and I knew there was a God I could talk to and I learned to trust in God. When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend that was sick and learned that we have to take care of one another. When you thought I wasn’t looking, I felt you kiss me goodnight, and I felt loved. When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you give your time and money to those who had nothing and learned that those who have something should give to those who don’t.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw tears come from your eyes and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it’s OK to cry. When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything I could be. When you thought I wasn’t looking, I learned most of the life lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up. When you thought I wasn’t looking, I looked at you and wanted to say, “Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn’t looking.”

Life is about the ride, not the destination!

FOUNDING WINNER

2015–2018

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