Is there life after divorce?

By Paula Crowhurst - Polly Bloom Divorce & Separation Coach

Paula Crowhurst, owner of Polly Bloom The Divorce & Separation Coach, is passionately committed to helping you find ways to overcome the pain of separation, so that you can let go of your ex and move forward with your life. In this 'Hope' issue of QueenBee, Paula talks about life after divorce...

Yes there certainly is an exciting future ahead of you, so long as you are head smart as opposed to being head strong! How do you move on after divorce?

No matter who ends the relationship, or when, the idea of going solo can look bleak and frightening. It is important to learn to adapt and to remember that there is light to every darkness, highs to every low and solutions to every challenge.

In the midst of my own divorce, I didn’t believe anyone when they told me that I would go on to have a happy and fulfilling life. That said, I always held on to my ‘rope of hope’ as I didn’t want to allow the feeling of despair to creep into my way of thinking.

I didn’t want to lay down and give up. I told myself that this would soon pass and I was determined to get through it. I had to let go of what was and move on to what is. After talking, allowing myself to grieve, releasing the anger and setting myself small goals, I began to start planning ahead.

I was determined that my divorce would not define me. I started to change my mindset, so that positive thinking became a habit, and noticed changes in me both physically and mentally. I grew in confidence, no longer feeling so afraid, and my self-esteem began to blossom. I was no longer a victim, I was a survivor.

Rather than staying stuck, commit to becoming independent and resourceful. Take control of your life by being confident and self-reliant.

Happiness is key to rebuilding your life. Weigh up the importance of money versus health. You can’t play tug of war with someone that doesn’t pick up the rope; in other words, choose to be happy rather than always trying to win in what is, for most, the war of divorce. Learn to let it go. Rather than staying stuck, commit to becoming independent and resourceful. Take control of your life by being confident and self-reliant.

When you feel ready and the time is right, look to increase your earnings either by increasing your hours at work, changing your job and/or obtaining an additional qualification.

There are so many on-line courses and opportunities for further professional development. What are your skills, where do your talents lie? Your future is bright and exciting, so long as you focus on the road ahead and stop looking back in the rear view mirror.

If you are struggling with your break-up or divorce please contact me for an initial, free 20 minute consultation. Covid-19 online sessions are available. Tel: 07809 140740 pb@divorceseparationcoach.co.uk www.divorceseparationcoach.co.uk