Slope Magazine Issue 7 :: Spring '10 by Slope Media Group

SLOPE Magazine a division of Slope Media Group www.slopemedia.org

The Flaming Lips Concert Also...

CDL Fashion

Show Inside

Music • Fashion • Politics • Arts & Entertainment • Sports •

vol.5, issue 1 MAY 2010

from Stardeath and White Dwarfs photo by tina chou

SLOPE MAGAZINE

The Team EDITOR IN CHIEF Anjali S. Joseph

ASSOCIATE EDITORS Vidhya Kumar Sabina Sattler MANAGING EDITOR Erinn Cawthon CREATIVE DIRECTORS Danielle Czirmer Roxanne Ravago COPY EDITORS Andrea Sanders Tara Stonex Benjamin Wadowski CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Sam Aleinikoff David Berezin Tarun Chitra Danielle Czirmer Walter Donner Vidhya Kumar Kerrie Lopez Taylor Nieman Jennifer Pierre Lindsay Rothfield Andrea Sanders Andy Santana Sabina Sattler Samuel Sveen PHOTOGRAPHY Erinn Cawthon Tina Chou James Orlando Roxanne Ravago ADVISORS Linda Mikula Tracy Vosburgh

the letter

Since 2006, Slope Media has gotten bigger and obviously better. Well, the same goes for magazine, since everyone knows that BIGGER is better. From the complete redesign of slopemedia.org (ch-ch-check it out!) to a larger variety of content that includes more music, more fashion, and more awesome. Period. The magazine is literally bigger, well a ¼ of an inch bigger, but you know every little bit counts ;-P The phrase “New Direction” was thrown around a lot when it came to the redesign of the magazine. So with some new writers and new staff and whole new set of ideas, the magazine has come out to be one of the best that I’ve ever imagined. Check out “Futurism: Just Fun” for ideas on one of the funkiest brunches that I’ve ever been to (tennis ball shots anyone?) and definitely check out the pictures of some kick ass CDL clothes. We got some “must have” summer trends along with the perfect soundtrack for each outfit. Who else can give you all that with some great new music reviews except for Slope? This magazine has consumed my life for the past 5 months, so hopefully it’s riveting enough to consume yours for at least 5 minutes. So just sit back, relax, slowly sip that “Seattle’s Best” drain water that they call coffee, and enjoy what is surely one of the “hipster” versions of the mag. Think Rolling Stone meets Vogue, or some unwanted lovechild version of that.

Anjali

Editor-in-Chief

10 4

Contents

Calendar................2 Flaming Lips............4 Thumpty Music...........8 Cornell Design League...10 Summer Trends...........14 milrso..................15 Obama...................16 Heat and Powerplant.....17 Futurism: Just Fun......18 Save the Cornell Arts...19 Celeb Divorce...........20 Sticks and Stones.......21 Cornell Basketball......22 Pandora.................24 Album Reviews...........25

19 16 1

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photos from google images 3

The

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Flaming Lips BY SAMUEL SVEEN PHOTOS BY TINA CHOU

We entered a vagina, bright and pulsating on the screen. Masturbation ensued. Citing the Dead’s performance o’77, Wayne proposed we record the second best performance ever in Barton Hall. I was stoked and thought, ‘you know, these guys are so epic, they probably could.’ On the count of four, he went walking and crawling and surfing all over the crowd. In his giant bubble ball. Awesome. Endless confetti and huge colorful balloons floated throughout the entire show. They handed out laser pointers to point everywhere: on the spaceship/disco ball overhead, Wayne’s body (as instructed by Wayne), a big mirror that Wayne held to bounce the rays back through the smoke. It was like, ‘look, that’s my red dot on stage; we’re all on stage, man.’—With hippy inflection. In my Youtubin’ before the show, I found “Wayne Coyne’s Guide to Stagecraft.” Tip #1: GAGS. Like whirling lit-up things above your head During the opener—Wayne’s nephew’s band, Star Death and

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White Dwarfs, Wayne could be spotted occasionally warming up just offstage doing the windmill with a scarf, throwin’ in a little Tip #3, CHARM. Lastly, tip #2: Don’t be SUBTLE; what about the giant hands with green laser stigmata and a light shining down from above? On a different note, why is the O phenomenon still cause for such great “celebration” (that song preface is so last year)? To count the number of times Wayne said “C’mon guys!” and/or reminded us to be the best concert #2, I’d need more than my ten fingers. If they release this recording, they should probably cut out that vocal track. It just got annoying after awhile, and their music really is not the kind you twist and shout to anyway—too deathy and sappy and happy, old-guy-reflecting-on-lifey, trying-to-be-epicy. Looking down, my orange sneakers blended with the floor—and I wasn’t on acid or ecstasy like half the crowd (Of course the crowd is “loving,” Wayne.). I wondered if the layers of tangerine confetti showered down every night are reduced, reused, or recycled. The Flaming Lips are an amazing band, since 1983, with lots of experimental things that I love, like the ‘parking lot experiments’ or the four CDs from Zaireeka to be played simultaneously, and just general creativity. But I really can’t say I have or will listen to them other than when I’m bummed out. I appreciate their ideas, and their amazing spectacle, but to be honest, it just isn’t my cup of tea. I like a less-produced, more rock’n’roll sort of thing. I was into Star Death and White Dwarfs. Solid and killer like Wolfmother, with definite Floydian influence as well. Louis XIV lyrics, but smarter and cooler. They also had crazy smoke and lights like the Lips, and weird videos perfectly in time with their music, but minus all the gags. I must respect the Lips and their longevity and everything, but SD&WD is keepin’ it real; a young band without such a budget, playing just music.The crazy Lips show is something; a whole different type of performance, with theatrics and props and interaction. Their music is good and intelligent. But it still just feels like they’re spending too much on superfluous visuals and gags, masturbating, compensating for the missing…rock and roll.

Thumpty

Music

Regardless of your opinion on Greek life, chances are you’ve been to a fraternity party during your time at Cornell. Though they seem fun as a wide-eyed freshman, it doesn’t take long to tire of the formulaic nature these events generally adopt; thousands of cans of Keystone Light, obnoxious waiting periods for drinking games, SLOPEmagazine/8

photos by thumpty music

and plenty of belligerent dudes wearing backwards hats fist pumping to the latest Weezy track. In direct contrast to this stereotypical paradigm, the brotherhood of Theta Delta Chi has been directing its resources toward the execution of a dramatically different social schedule. Lovingly nicknamed “Thumpty,” the fraternity

located at the bottom of the slope has long existed on the fringe of Cornell’s Greek system. Having grown tired of traditional fraternal activities like wine tours and mixers, the brothers began to experiment with different social formats, and found great success hosting non-alcoholic concerts with a small admission fee. Within this format, the money usually spent on dozens of cases of beer is instead spent on talent, providing students with a unique musical experience they cannot have anywhere else on campus or in town.

included both wild dance parties with electronic dance masters Big Gigantic and Orchard Lounge, and more relaxed performances from the reggae-infused Giant Panda Guerrilla Dub Squad and progressive rockers El Ten Eleven. As Weiss explains, “as we’ve had more and more talent come through the Grand Hall, we’ve developed a formula for success and can now confidently deliver our audiences the best musical experience they’re going to get in the upstate NY area from artists you would never expect to see inside any other fraternity house.” Indeed Thumpty

Ben Weiss, one of the house’s social representatives explains this music-oriented shift, “It just seemed like there was a need for highenergy musical performances in Ithaca that wasn’t being met by the other venues in the area. And considering Thumpty’s warm, intimate, and spacious Grand Hall supplemented by the house’s professional grade sound system, it was a no brainer that Theta Delta Chi should be the institution to fill that vacuum.” In total, the house ambitiously hosted seven acts this semester, presenting a diverse array of talent that

has created a comfortable and accessible forum for both local and widely known talent. Having recently added a hand-made stage and purchased brand new LED lights, the Theta Delta Chi brotherhood is providing the option for an experience that defies the boisterous frat boy image. As Weiss confidently claims, “this is only the beginning. We’ve started something big here, and it’s only going to get bigger. Just wait ‘til you see what we got planned for you next year.”

n g i s e

D l n l g e i n s r e o C nell aD e u g r e o L C e

u g a e L

The 26th Annual Fashion Show By Vidhya Kumar Photos By James Orlando Designs By Candace Elliot

The 26th Annual Fashion Show By Vidhya Kumar photos by james orlando designs by Candace Elliot

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Kerry M

cCarthy

John Sohn

Emily

Farin

n a particularly rainy day in Ithaca, hundreds of avid fashion-lovers, supporters and members of the community made their way to Barton Hall in order to witness the creations of over 65 student designers at the 26th Annual Fashion Show run by The Cornell Design League (CDL). It was apparent from the start that no two collections were similar, paving the way for a constant yet welcome barrage of pieces which reflected everything from a glimpse into the 1950s to a look back to the Antebellum era. As the opening of the show, 25 Level 1 designers showed a variety of designs, inspirations and collaborations. From embracing the high-neck collar to incorporating simple draping techniques, these 25 designers proved to the audience

that their skills and creativity would lend to even greater creations as they matured. These designers, most of whom were new to the experience of creating for the fashion show, were by no means timid on the runway; their creations and models powered through the show and were bold expressions of their ideas and inspirations. Level 2 designers showed what they had learned from their first CDL show and brought new ideas to the table; designs ranged from ethereal evening gowns to more dramatic and geometric constructions. The most anticipated showings came from the collections produced by upperclassman Level 3 and 4 designers. One of the most stunning collections of the night came from John Sohn ’11, whose collection Totemic kept the eyes of hundreds intently focused on each piece coming down the runway. The quality of the design and the care put into each piece clearly reflected Sohn’s serious attitude and care for fashion. “I think there's something extremely personal about fashion, and it's always interesting to see how people grow attached to certain styles, colors and garments,” Sohn said. Sohn’s inspiration came from a plethora of sources including “Virginia Woolf's dark prose, Barnett Newman paintings and Balenciaga's voluminous silhouettes.” Taking familiar forms and shapes, such as the Balenciaga baby-doll silhouette, Sohn introduced his own take on these classic forms and used the idea of feminine silhouettes in dark fabrics and structure as a prevailing theme in this collection. W h i l e many of those in the audience came to examine the collections of the designers, many were there to support the student models in the show. The majority of designers looked for s i m i l a r characteristics among the m o d e l s

Emily Farina

Maylian Luo

Danie lle C zirme r Laura Fawkes

they chose in casting calls held fall semester. The criteria for student models tended to match those of models seen in fashion shows among top designers; the most important feature among chosen models was their height, which was typically kept between 5'8" and under 6'1". While some designers looked for slender models in order to introduce uniformity and consistency within the collection, there are other designers like Sohn, who tried to “get a variety of girls-different races, different body types”, noting that there is always a “beautiful quality” about most people. As the years pass and as more studio classes are taken, more upper level designers have attested to the maturing process that emerges with more practice, patience and exposure to fashion. Level 3 designer Candace Elliot ’11 mentions that she has “enjoyed seeing the progress of my colleagues” and that each collection “speaks to our individuality and maturity in design.” Indeed, as Level 3 designers are asked to create an expansive collection rather than just a few pieces, the designers must work harder to create cohesive looks that are thought out from head to toe as opposed to individually designed pieces. While some designers aim to create pieces for the common public, others use the Annual Fashion Show as grounds for expressing larger goals. As Elliot ’11 mentions, fashion is a form of “wearable art” and focuses less on pieces that can be wore in everyday life. For each of the 65 designers on the runway, their creations were a personal reflection of their aesthetic and passions. By pushing the envelope in terms of style and construction, these designers showed that fashion is truly a means of crossing boundaries.

Acetate Sunglasses, Cutler and Gross

Striped Wraparound Oxford Top, Alexander Wang

It’s time to bring out your pretty little dresses and sandals again! Just make sure you add neutrals, collared shirts, fun prints, and don’t forget your button down - jean, of course.

Summer playlist

3.1 Phillip Lim

Alexander Wang

Marc Jacobs

Proenza schouler

Linen Cutout Bandeau Dress, Urban Outﬁtters

Ecote Ankle Wrap Sandal, Urban Outﬁtters

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Bouquet Silk Dress, Pixie Market

SUMMER trends

1. “Go Outside” Cults 2. “Good Day” Nappy Roots 3. “Driving Me Crazy” Sam Adams 4. “Hey, Soul Sister” Train 5. “Under the Sheets (Chiddy Bang Remix)” Ellie Golding 6. “It’s Possible” Shout Out Louds Remake by Studio 7. “Over” Drake 8. “Take It In” Hot Chip

MILRSO Fashion Show Candyshoppe Circus

The entire runway was lit beautifully and the set was decorated in neon balloons, which held true to MILRSO’s “Candyshoppe Circus” theme. The performances, which included Urban Blaze, Absolute Zero, On Tap, and Phenomenon Step Team, were engaging and very entertaining to watch. The talent that each and every individual in those groups possessed was immense. The DJ never faltered from blasting the audience’s favorite tracks, which lead to continual head bobbing as well as the noticeable extra burst of energy the models encompassed as they walked the catwalk. Pieces

Morgans’

Homegrown/ Chavante Perkins

Jarvis Veira

Maurice’s

Morgans’

Lola Osho

Malik Mack

Maurice’s

ranged from Lauren Elliot’s design of beautifully detailed pieces with the inspiration of an ice princess in mind; to Candice Wade, (also known as China) with her very versatile collection with various silhouettes to choose from. Her cheetah print dress was very reminiscent of Balmain’s Fall 2010 collection. Congratulations to the models and the MILRSO committee for putting on an undoubtedly interesting fashion show.

by Taylor Nieman 15

Cornell’s Climate Action plan was announced by President David Skorton in September of 2009 and challenged Cornell to become carbon neutral by the year 2050, reducing its greenhouse gas emissions from the current 319,000 metric tons to net zero. On Jan 15, 2010, the university took a major step towards meeting this commitment to minimize its carbon footprint by opening the $82 million Combined Heat and Power Plant (CHPP), an innovative system that uses natural gas to generate electricity while simultaneously utilizing the resulting “waste” energy for heating purposes. The CHPP now provides most of the campus’s electricity. It adds two gas turbines, which combust natural gas to turn an electric generator. Excess heat leaving the turbines is recycled to produce steam for heating. This allows the plant to produce campus heat and electricity at an overall eﬃciency of 70 percent, compared to the 50 percent eﬃciency of traditional production, reducing regional carbon emissions related to Cornell’s heating and electricity by 28 percent within 18 months of the plant’s startup. Although it currently uses natural gas, biofuel can also be utilized by the CHPP, which could be used in the future to advance the university toward their goal of carbon neutrality.

combined heating& powerplant

C o r n e l lBY

ANDREA SANDERS

“CHP [Combined Heat and Power] plays an important role in reducing the environmental impact of power generation,” said Susan Wickwire, chief of the Environmental Protection Agency’s Energy Supply and Industry Branch. “We applaud Cornell’s effort because the improvement in eﬃciency translates to a reduction in total fossil fuel use, reduced emissions of criteria air pollutants, and carbon dioxide, the leading greenhouse gas contributor to global climate change.” The university celebrated the plant’s opening with remarks from Skorton, NYS Department of Environmental Conservation Commissioner Pete Grannis, and Bruce Nilles, director of the Sierra Club’s Beyond Coal Campaign. “The plant enhances the university’s core mission of academics, research, and outreach by focusing the knowledge and skills of today’s Cornellians and tomorrow’s Cornellians on areas that will reduce our environmental impact,” Skorton said. “Although we are celebrating today, we have a long hill yet to climb and it’s still an act of faith that we’ll get there, but I’m very optimistic.” As a leading research university, it is logical that Cornell should be at the forefront of efforts to reduce greenhouse gas emissions. “Cornell has taken a leadership role among colleges and universities nationwide to reduce its carbon footprint and become a model of environmental consciousness and activism,” said Francis J. Murray, president and CEO of the New York State Energy Research and Development Authority, one of the plant’s funding agencies. “With the significant investment they have made in this electric generating system, they will cut their energy costs, provide more secure backup for their critical operations, and demonstrate the kind of foresight needed to address energy challenges of the future.”

PHOTOS FROM http://www.pressoffice.cornell.edu/presskits/

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photo from http://30.media.tumblr.com/BYyWCJRDna2eh62h8ZTubWiT_500.jpg

Overall GPA: 3.43

ECON 4190 “Economic Decisions under Uncertainty”A-

President Obama came into oﬃce during one of the worst economic crises in U.S. history. From the start Obama aggressively sought to stabilize the economy. He implemented nearly $300 billion in tax cuts for the middle class and small businesses along with an additional $250 billion for federal grants, contracts and loans ‘stopped the bleeding’ and improved market confidence. Furthermore, the Obama administration didn’t allow the economy to crumble under the weight of the banks’ toxic assets and stood firm as a lender of last resort.

Not bad given the circumstances of your first year, Mr. President. Prelims and papers are nothing compared to Teabaggers and Tehran. Running the country might be harder than going to Cornell, but there is always room for improvement.

Although the economy is still wading through the waters of recession and the ramifications and benefits of the stimulus are yet to be fully understood, the bottom line is the that President took assertive action in times of uncertainty and helped America regain a sense of economic stability.

GOVT 3857 “American Foreign Policy”B+

Barack

on the Slope BY ANDY SANTANA

ver a year ago President Barack Obama took the oath of oﬃce on the steps of Capitol Hill. The nation was reenergized and the political tide had brought a fresh perspective to Washington. On the campaign trail he advocated policy change on issues ranging from nuclear proliferation to skyrocketing health insurance premiums to shrinking polar ice caps. Although his stump-speech packed a powerful policy punch, the Oval Oﬃce is a legislative pressure cooker, and every President must yield to a myriad of political roadblocks and setbacks. We all know D.C. can be an exhausting environment for any politician, but how would bho44@cornell.edu’s performance in the White House stack up in White Hall. However, it’s time for the President to log on to student center, view his Cornellian Grade Report, and see if it’s up to par.

Just as with economic policy, Obama was inaugurated under the shadow of deepening international dilemmas. Two wars in the Middle East, nuclear threats in Iran and North Korea, China’s advent as an economic and political juggernaut, and a revitalized Russian state were stuffed into the President’s foreign policy binder. Most notably, the Commander in Chief has improved U.S. relations with Russia. Recently Dimitry Medvedev and Obama agreed to reduce Cold War nuclear stockpiles. Although this gesture might be seen as little more than a diplomatic photo-op, at the very least it symbolizes a greater degree of mutual respect between the two nations. However, Iraq and Afghanistan remain loosely defined boondoggles for the American military. A troop increase in Afghanistan will hopefully lead to the capture of Osama Bin Laden and a more stable region, but complete success is doubtful given the mission’s broad objectives and the political history of the area. However, for the most part the international community appreciates Obama’s amicable and more hands-off approach to world politics.

PAM 2350 “The US Health Care System”A-

After a century of legislative struggle the President was finally able to sign health care reform into law. Although the President’s health care bill was not passed under the best of circumstances, it protects Americans from health coverage termination for trivial unaccounted health conditions (Rescission), prevents Health insurers from denying Americans with preexisting conditions, gives the middle class and small businesses health insurance tax breaks, and brings down prescription drug costs for senior citizens. Although these are all steps in the right direction, health insurers still maintain their anti-trust exemption. It will interesting to see how the implementation of Obamacare weathers the health insurers’ backlash.

BY LINDSAY ROTHFIELD

You’re listening to Earth, Wind, and Fire’s “September.” Next Thelma Houston’s “Don’t Leave Me This Way” comes on. Why did this song just come on, you ask? Well, based on what you’ve told Pandora so far, they’re playing this song because it features funk and disco influences, heavy use of vocal harmonies and acoustic rhythm piano. Oh, awesome. Recently the entirety of consumer media has migrated from hard copies to the World Wide Web. With the rise in popularity of sites such as Hulu, Megavideo, YouTube, and Pandora, with a few clicks of our mouse we can easily enter the world of entertainment. What’s so enticing about Pandora is its accurate ability to pinpoint our musical desires and match our requested artist or song with something that shares similar qualities. Employees categorize about 700,000 songs according to 400 music qualities, for example, whether a voice is ‘breathy’ or if it has punk-rock aspects. Pandora made $50 million in annual revenue last year and makes its money solely from advertisements and the few subscribers it has. Although its ads aren’t as intrusive as those on other stations, some consumers opt to pay a monthly SLOPEmagazine/18

rate than listen to a two-minute commercial. Furthermore, once a user reaches 40 hours of listening in a month, they are be required to pay 99 cents to get unlimited listening for the remainder of the month. Consider this for a moment. 99 cents can buy you only one song on iTunes, and only if that song is pretty outdated. But now, 99 cents allots you unlimited hours of online streaming with songs tailored to your likes and dislikes. Score! And let’s not forget about video streaming, a media phenomena that has infiltrated our culture, especially on college campuses where students don’t have the freedom to watch their favorite shows live on television. Whether it’s on Hulu, which relies solely on sponsorship and advertisement much like Pandora, or MegaVideo, which is commercial-free and often infringes on copyrights, millions have decided to utilize their computer screens over their televisions. Will websites like Pandora and Hulu alter the music and television industry as we know it? I think not. Of those who listen to online radio streaming, most still have some kind of personal music library. “When you listen to Pandora you don’t know what’s going to come on next, and when you crave a song, you want to listen to that specific song, not something that sounds like it,” Klosk noted. And in terms of television, for the most part people usually prefer to watch television or movies on an actual screen. Even so, these novel websites are growing rapidly…and who knows? We may be entering a new frontier.

RISLEY RESIDENTIAL COLLEGE LENDS HELP TO ITS FELLOW THEATRE COMMUNITY By Jennifer Pierre

To say the least, times have been tough this year at Cornell. An approximately 30% decrease in university endowments has caused budget cuts of a whopping four million dollars in academic program funding. Cornell students made their best attempts to grin and bear it as they returned to campus for the new semester this spring, until one particular decision went too far. It was recently announced that between one and two million dollars would be cut from the Theatre, Film and Dance Department funding, about half of the total cuts. As a result, various Cornellians have banded together to protest the budget cuts to this department. One key group involved in the protest is the residents of Risley (the theatre based program house on North Campus) who are fondly known as Risleyites. In response to the passionate uproar of Risleyites against the department’s current status, the Save the Schwartz campaign was started by Risleyite Farhod “Rockwell” Shahrezay. Shaharezay first discussed the idea of the campaign in Kommittee, Risley’s weekly student body meeting, a few days after the news about the budget cuts spread. “The Schwartz Center is not only the home of theatre, film and dance [at Cornell University], but a resource that is utilized by students from all over campus: whether it is a budding fashion designer who uses the costume shop to make an outfit, a dedicated architect learning in the woodshop, or a shy engineer who gets a once in a lifetime acting experience on the main performing stage,” Shahreezay said as he riled up support for the cause at the meeting. Risleyites were quick to respond to Shahreezay’s call to arms, and the website, savecornellarts.com, was soon founded. The Save the Cornell Arts campaign started just a few weeks into the semester and has already significantly benefited the Schwartz center by spreading awareness through the website and classroom invasions. It has come a long way from the simple website that started it all, with the letter and phone call campaign still growing stronger each day, a petition almost complete and ready to present to Dean Lepage, and an exciting visual protest currently in the works for the future. What is unique about this group is that they are not only demanding that the money not be cut, but they have also brainstormed ideas on how to redesign the theatre department so that it can continue to function in its current state with budget cuts. Shahreezay estimates that “Cutting $500,000 instead of 1-2 million would be much more in line with what the department could handle.” To carry out this new vision, the group will require the support and guidance of the dean, advisors, and other faculty members of the College of Arts and Sciences, which will hopefully be gained quickly as the campaign continues to grow stronger and Cornell students continue to band together to stand up for the unique and important department of the arts.

By David Berezin It seems that in the past couple years, among celebrities, there’s been a competition bigger than the Golden Globes, the Oscars, and the People’s Choice Awards combined. That is: Who has been the worst husband? Is it Tiger Woods, who cheated on his hot Swedish wife with no less than eleven mistresses? John Edwards, who had a baby with another woman when Mrs. Edwards was suffering through cancer? Or is it Charlie Sheen, who threatened his most recent spouse with a knife when he was (supposedly) drunk? This list of crappy husbands applies not only to celebrities, but also to people who think they’re celebrities. Take Jon Gosselin, former star of reality TV series Jon & Kate Plus 8. Now, you would have to be a colossal tool to abandon your eight children for a girl whose father’s job was to make your wife look attractive, then cheat on that girl and go on a partying binge, all the while threatening to sue TLC, the network that made you famous in the first place! No wonder the Octomom had all her kids through artificial insemination. Now for another so-called “celebrity”: Jesse James. He might not be a Wild West bank robber like his namesake, but he stole the heart of Sandra Bullock and then smashed it to pieces. To quote Jeff Foxworthy, “If you’re wife is a beautiful, awardwinning actress and you cheat on her with some tattoo-covered floozy who dresses up like Hitler …then you might be a redneck!” Or just a massive douche. The only person who’s probably enjoying all these controversies is Eliot Spitzer. Between all these new marital scandals and David Patterson messing up New York State, people seem to have forgotten all about the disgraced former governor. “Who’s Client Number Nine?” “What’s an Ashley Dupré?” Maybe Eliot should consider running again in this year’s gubernatorial election. His slogan could be “Eliot Spitzer: He never cheated on anyone with cancer” or “His wife might be pretty, but she’s not a Swedish model and she’s no Sandra Bullock.” To all these bad husbands, I have to ask, why even get married in the first place? If you’re just going to run around and hook up with every woman in sight, then what’s point? You can have all the porn stars and neo-Nazis you want when you’re single, and you won’t have to worry about breaking your wife’s heart or worry about what you’ll have to say to your kids when they’re older. Unless you’re

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living on a polygamist ranch out in Utah, marriage is all about being with one person and only that person. If you can’t do that, don’t get married! And wives, you’re not exactly off the hook either. They might’ve cheated on you, but you married them. Elin Woods, I can forgive. We were all fooled by Tiger’s Boy Scout persona. But what about Brooke Mueller, Charlie Sheen’s wife? Your husband’s famous for being a drug addict and a whoremonger. He’s had two failed marriages and an ex-fiancée, Kelly Preston, who he shot in the arm. That’s right—he shot her! And you were surprised that he pointed a knife at you? What about you, Sandra Bullock? Your husband’s also been married twice before, once to a porn star. He runs a motorcycle shop and decks himself out like a Nazi. And let’s not forget, he’s named after a murderer! Haven’t you been in enough romantic comedies to know that’s not the kind of guy you should marry? It almost seems like these celebrities are hijacking their marriages on purpose—and they’re not the only ones. Look at Britney Spears’ marriage to Kevin Federline or Whitney Houston’s marriage to Bobby Brown. Both Whitney and Britney were sweet pop princesses who got involved with bad boys. Bobby Brown had a drug habit and a fading career. K-Fed had two kids and no career. The only thing that made sense about these marriages was how they ended: in divorce. But don’t think that Mr. Wrong will turn into Mr. Right if you’re beautiful or successful. If Halle Berry and Sandra Bullock can be cheated on, then any woman can. Cheating goes beyond looks; it’s about power. If their wives’ careers are overshadowing theirs, they’ll go hook up women who aren’t famous to make themselves feel like the dominant ones. Not that this is the sole reason why cheating occurs in these marriages, but entertainment is a business where women become tremendously powerful, and self-obsessed husbands won’t accept that. The saddest part of this whole mess is that, in a few months, this article will become obsolete as countless new celebrity separations come to hog the spotlight. Because if there’s one thing as certain as death and taxes, it’s that people will keep making the same mistakes over and over. Men who have no desire to be tied down will get married anyways. Women will keep thinking that the bad boys will change for them. Marriages will end; hearts will be broken. And the only people who’ll live happily ever after will be the divorce attorneys.

blur. CollegeACB consists of much more than the “occasional gossip post.” I don’t know what good the “report” button does in eliminating mean comments, but every person here at Cornell that I have talked to had nothing nice to say about it. The site is organized by school so that you can redirect to only read about what’s happening here at Cornell and is mostly known by those involved with the Greek system. Competition can be good, but there is a point where competition crosses the line into cruel war. CollegeACB seems to facilitate this war, with gossip and rumors rather than physical violence. Some of the “Like, OMG, did you hear...” most controversy that surrounds CollegeACB concerns the question of truth in the posts. Is so-and-so really a slut or did she just shut down some guy who decided to make himself feel better by posting a mean comment about her. Andrew Li, a brother in DKE said, “I have noticed the site has gotten much more popular. People are posting more and more, and unfortunately, despite how false a post is, it affects the readers' perception of whatever the topic is.” He also brought up the idea of people making up lies BY SABINA SATTLER about themselves, because who can deny the positive feelings Are hurtful words a legitimate reason to file a associated with self-promotion? No matter who you are, at some lawsuit? The issue of defamation seems to becoming more point you have probably acted selfishly to make yourself feel and more prevalent lately with lawsuits against sites and better—but posting something on CollegeACB is a new level. “People would never say what they say on that site if servers like Facebook and Google videos. The newest people knew who they were,” Li said. “The anonymity draws medium through which rumors and gossip are now being spread by young generations like ours is the Internet. out another side because people can’t judge them. In a scary One such new media source is collegeacb.com, where sense, it reveals how people really think, like the mask is off.” What does the behavior of those who post on ACB stands for “Anonymous Confession Board”. For those of this site say about our generation? Fortunately, it is not you who haven’t heard of College ACB, it is much like the infamous Juicy Campus website that was shut down. Juicy too late to rise above it all. The driving force that keeps the Campus’s successor site, CollegeACB, seems to be thriving, site going are all the posts people make, mostly by those and in a press release, creator Peter Frank claimed that ACB in Greek life. If you hate it so much, stop using it. There “consistently hosts a higher level of discourse [than Juicy are many other sites that are more fun and don’t facilitate Campus]—while still making room for the occasional gossip immature defamation. Instead of promoting CollegeACB, post”. This “higher level of discourse” is supposedly achieved I’ll tell you to check other sites out like Chat Roulette and with the site’s “report” buttons where an unwanted post can its newest version Random Dorm for colleges only. So go be protested for removal. Here is where the facts begin to have a good time…but I should warn you—beware of nudity!

BY Sam Aleinikoff photos by corey belaief

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“We.” Who knew that two letters could hurt so much. But when the word that usually signifies unification meant the exact opposite last month to the entire Cornell community, it was tough to take. During Steve Donahue’s opening statement at the press conference introducing the him as the new Men’s Basketball head coach at Boston College, he used the word 18 times to refer to his new school. Each utterance loosened the ties that he had formed over the past ten years with the Big Red a little more. And by the time he was done, it had sunk in; in Ithaca, it truly is the end of an era. Donahue, first in a March 29, 2010 interview with Brian Delaney of the Ithaca Journal, and then countless times after that, explained that it would take a “home run” offer to lure him away from Cornell. Fresh off the Sweet 16, a Clair Bee Coach of the Year Award and a slew of league records, on a professional level, the timing could not have been better for him to move on. Known as a family man and with a daughter about to enter high school, personally, the timing was right for Coach D as well. When the Boston College job opened up, the offer Donahue received was more than just a solo shot, no doubt it was much closer to a grand slam. Over the last 3 years, Cornell Basketball has become nothing short of an Ivy League dynasty. And after clinching his third consecutive Ancient Eight championship, Donahue

recognized that this was the pinnacle. “I’m going to try, for the rest of my coaching career, to get another group like this, “ he said. “And I may never get there. I’m pretty sure I won’t.” At the school known for its academic prowess, perhaps the most impressive engineering feat over the last several years at Cornell belongs to the basketball program. A 38-4 Ancient Eight record and a trio of championships are no doubt evidence of an unprecedented period of sheer dominance on the court, but also a mark a time during which Cornellians both locally and internationally have been able to take pride in a group which truly embodies the ideals of collegiate athletics. In mid-April, Donahue returned from his new job for a season ending team banquet, to celebrate the success he had helped to cultivate in lthaca. While talking about his confidence in the future of the program, Coach D accidentally used the same powerful two-letter tandem he had used in Chestnut Hill two weeks earlier. “There is no reason to believe that we can’t compete for a fourth consecutive championship,” he said, this time, referring to the Big Red. Despite the changes in personnel both on the court and the bench, the Freudian slip is indicative of an enduring bond. Hopefully, one that is able to bridge two eras and allow Big Red Basketball to continue to provide the greater Cornell community with the same pride we have been so lucky to share in the program in recent years.

: m s i r u Fut N U F T S U J BY SAMUEL SVEEN

Like Mallory = this girl I’m gonna fall in love with. Like Tanfastic = my favorite place in the world, though I’ve never been. Like the FUTURE = all things shiny and no vowels bcs thy’r s gsh drn mbgs nd nffcnt (because they’re sOOOOoooOOo gosh darn ambiguous and ineﬃcient). …It turns out, however, there’s a real definition/idea of the Future—the Futurists made it in 1909. And if one were to Wiki ‘Futurism meals,’ one would learn about food sculptures, weird smells and harmonies, abolished forks and knives, poetry, and ultraviolet-ray lamps. So I threw a FutureBrunch the other day. My loosely guiding harmonies: color, alliteration, shape, and tennis. Guests were greeted with apple juice and Colt 45 cocktails, frozen tomato juice cubes floating coolly, slowly bleeding in a visually impressive manner for no particular reason. Skewered starters: alternating discs of kiwi and cucumber. The crispness of the cuke made a lovely contrast to the sweet juicy juiciness of the kiwi, and the kabobs were just the right size to be an awkward one-bite, too small for two. Quite alright. To the guests I noted the encouraging YACHT electropop gently encouraging us from the record player. I had planned on only hors d’oeuvrey things and thus a main dish was rushed when brunch turned into lunch. Though pasta is a no-no, “as it causes lassitude, pessimism, and lack of passion,” it was quick and easy… Point taken. Anyway, pasta and…peaches, pears, plums? No, pasta and pineapples. + Canadian bacon and marinara = Hawaiian pasta. A bit lame and safe, but it had to fly before the more unadventurous guests. Then, a tennis shot. Tennis balls cut in half, filled with liquid—the bestest funnest idea ever. Some pickled asparagus juice from Mom from our garden, ginger ale to sparkle and shine, gin, a thin floating slab of freshly cut ginger root, and a tiny

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Kiwi and cucumber skewers, abolition of knife and fork for eating.

dollop of mustard atop. Guests didn’t know what hit ‘em. The accompanying drinking game: categories: TENNIS. Net! Clay! Pete Sampras! Wimbledon! [Head looking left, right, left, right]! Smash! Skewered sweets: alternating discs of banana and m a r s h m a l l o w. Actually, I used Fluff, and it flowed and turned out really cool, actually. In conclusion, not as crazy as it could have been, but a good start, I say. Now you—go, take ideas, project them, onto words, and food, and run, like the devil himself is chasing you, for no particular reason.

ALBUM REVIEWS by Tarun Chitra

Even if you don’t spend an exorbitant amount of time on Hype Machine, you may have heard of this Irish band with a long name, alluring love songs and snazzy cardigans. Two Door Cinema Club has found a funky niche, sharing fans with the likes of Phoenix, Friendly Fires, Vampire Weekend and French Horn Rebellion. In itself, Tourist History is quite a unique, yet accessible album. The sonic journey begins with a catchy and upbeat track called “Cigarettes in the Theater,” that describes a meeting with one’s dream girl while smoking a cigarette at a small movie theater. The dynamics of the album can be described by the evolution of this song, which begins with a relatively funky riff that leads into the aforementioned story before concluding with a French horn salute. As the album progresses, the songs become more introspective, particularly “Come Back Home” and “Do You Want It All?” which bring down the tempo a bit before returning to the overall upbeat theme of the album.The band hopes to capitalize on their European success by touring in the U.S. with Phoenix. They will be at Vanderbilt’s equivalent of our Slope Day as well as at Constitution Hall in DC and Schubas in Chicago. If you get a chance to see them, I highly recommend it, for if they are even reminiscent of their YouTube video depictions, you’ll have a great time. MGMT has been received lavishly at Cornell by both the faux hipsters and the Greeks. The success of the group’s singles “Kids” and “Electric Feel” cannot be downplayed, for these songs broke through the hip hop-only barrier put up by Soulja Boy and T.I. for party music, while still pleasing fans from their Hyde Park and Williamsburg minions. With all of this in mind, one may expect Congratulations to be some sort of album that spans the plethora of musical tastes and preferences at Cornell. Instead, this album does not offer a successor to “Kids” but gives MGMT’s newly diverse audience a glance into their previous works such as The Management. Congratulations as a whole is an odd fusion of 1970s rock and modern electropop. The singles on the album, “Congratulations” and “Flash Delirium” continue in this vein, albeit with more pop-like elements such as synthesized harp. While this description of the album may be disappointing for those looking for danceable tracks, there is some historical precedent for this type of music from MGMT. If you want to listen to an album that has surprisingly elegant lyrics and trance-inducing rhythms, I wholeheartedly recommend that you take a listen to Congratuations — you will not be disappointed. One of the more unlikely musical duos that has hit Starbucks nationwide is the Broken Bells, which is composed of The Shins’ James Mercer and Gnarls Barkley’s Danger Mouse. In this album, Danger Mouse provides the psychedelic and somewhat darker sounds of Gnarls Barkley as the space for Mercer’s genius to unfold. The album begins with “The High Road”, perhaps the one overly commercial song that seems a bit overdone. In fact, when the single first came out, I found it hard to take the Broken Bells project as a serious work of Mercer’s. Yet the subsequent songs bring a less expository and far more introspective set of lyrics than The Shins could provide. Moreover, the rhythms of Danger Mouse bring some almost-danceable tracks to life on the album. For instance, “Mongrel Heart” and “The Ghost Inside” are two tracks that are an interesting mix of psychedelic, hip-hop and folk music. Quite frankly, I recommend that you experience the variety of music styles that Broken Bells combines on one album, because I’m not sure if you’ll be able to find it anywhere else. At the very least, you can satiate your craving for another Shins album.

CDLn Show o i h Fas

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