Slope Magazine - Spring 2014

SPRING 2014

QUIZ: FIND YOUR DREAM DRINKING BUDDY

A CHAT WITH

CUNOOZ RUSHING AS

LGBTQ

INSIDE

ETHAN JOSEPH “THAT GUY WHO SITS ON THE ARTS QUAD”

LETTER from the EDITOR YASMIN

ALAMEDDINE It is my pleasure to welcome you to Slope Media Magazine’s Spring 2014 issue! Although it is a daunting task, this issue attempts to capture the essence of what it was really like to be student at Cornell University this semester. From satirical pieces on who the best Cornell alum to drink with is, to Big Red sports coverage, to trending Cornell centric websites and apps, to portrayals about Veteran students challenges and LGBTQ identity issues; we weave together humorous, popular and touching issues to portray the nuanced culture us Cornellians navigate on a daily basis.

Of course, this issue would not have been possible without the help of my incredible writing staff, meticulous copy editors, vibrant design team, and, of course, encouraging Executive Board. Each and every one of them added value and perspective to this issue and should be extremely proud of the product.

With that, we hope this issue will make you laugh a lot, make you think differently and make you reflect on the confusing and dazzling world that we call: Cornell.

2

Mag Staff EDITOR-IN-CHIEF CREATIVE DIRECTOR LAYOUT WRITERS

YASMIN ALAMEDDINE NICOLE HAMILTON AIMEE CHO GABRIELA KEANE CLAIRE BAUM CLEMENCE BERNARD ASHLEY CHACON AIMEE CHO CELESTE CIRILLO-PENN ELANI COHEN ZOE FORSTER NICOLE HAMILTON ESTHER HAN GABRIELA KEANE* DANI KELLNER ISABELLA KRELL AMANDA LOESCH HANNAH MCGOUGH MORGAN MILLER KATIE O’BRIEN* TANIA PEREZ MIKE ROSENBLUM SYDNEY READE* KATE SCHOLE JESSICA SION* EMILY TRIPODI LINDSAY WERSHAW *COPY EDITORS

Mission Statement As Cornell’s multimedia powerhouse, Slope Media Group is a leader in Cornell-related media and entertainment, delivering a creative, student perspective on everything that matters to you. Slope is for students, by students.

TABLE of

CONTENTS

ARTS

• Famous Cornellians in Film • The Chime Master • Titus Andronicus

TECH • • • • •

Snapchat Ettiquette Google glass #Trending Flappy Skorton CuNooz

SPORTS

• Cornellians at the Olympics • Rink Rats • Rockclimbing • Cornell Basketball

CULTURE • Humans of Cornell • Cornell Under Construction • Inside Ethan • Ithaca Weather • Cornell Veterans • Phi Mu Sorority • LGBTQ Rushing

HUMOR • Drinking Quiz • Small Talk

3

OFFICIAL SELECTION

BIG RED CARPET 2014

Professor Austin Bunn Sydney Reade You may know of some famous Cornellians in politics, medicine, or philanthropy, but did you know that the Big Red network extends to Hollywood? Here are some Oscar-worthy Cornellians who have been invaluable to the film industry since graduating. It’s called the “red carpet” for a reason.

ARTS

Claim to Fame Bunn co-wrote Kill Your Darlings, the 2013 movie starring Daniel Radcliffe. He currently teaches screenwriting and dramatic writing in the performing arts department.

Ellen Albertini Dow ‘35

Thelma Schoonmaker ‘61

Actor

Editor

B.A. & M.F.A. in Drama Claim to Fame Dow is known as the rapping grandmother in The Wedding Singer, starring Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore. Other roles include the homophobic grandmother in Wedding Crashers with Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson, as well as a stint in Whoopi Goldberg and Maggie Smith’s choir in Sister Act. Fun Fact Ellen Dow is still alive--she is 100 years old; she was a member of Kappa Delta.

4

Screenwriter

B.A. Political Science and Russian Claim to Fame Has edited every Martin Scorsese film since Raging Bull (number 4 on the AFI’s list), including Goodfellas, The Departed, and The Wolf of Wall Street.

Fun Facts Schoonmaker also edited The Color of Money starring Tom Cruise and Paul Newman, the screenplay for which was written by fellow Cornellian Richard Price (B.S. ’71).

Schoonmaker has also garnered seven Academy Award nominations, the second-most number of all film editors.

Hotflick, Ezra Magazine, Aparte Magazine

Screenwriters

Actors

Ted Berkman ’33

Arthur Goldstein

Claim to Fame He wrote Bedtime for Bonzo, the 1951 film that revitalized Ronald Reagan’s acting career. At least Cornell got this close to producing a U.S. president!

Fun Fact The movie has since spawned many a cultural reference, including the line from the Ramones’ song “My Brain is Hanging Upside Down” that says “Bonzo goes to Bitburg…”

Murray Burnett B.A. ’31 Claim to Fame He co-authored the play “Everybody Comes to Rick’s,” which would later sell to Warner Brothers unproduced and eventually become the 1942 film Casablanca, starring Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman. The movie takes the number 3 spot on the AFI’s list.

Fun Fact It is because of Murray that Casablanca includes the song “As Time Goes By.” It was a favorite song of his during his time at Cornell.

Arthur Laurents B.A. ’37

M.A. ’48 & PhD ’53

Claim to Fame Stage name Arthur Gould; Acted in Patch Adams, played the grandfather in both Stuart Little and Freaky Friday, and had a role in Woody Allen’s Love and Death.

Jane Lynch M.F.A. ’84 Claim to Fame She’s the devilish Sue Sylvester on Glee, but in film she’s played Meryl Streep’s sister in Julie & Julia and Paula the store manager in The 40-Year-Old Virgin.

Fun Fact Has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame

Frank Morgan ‘12 Claim to Fame Played the Wizard in the original Wizard of Oz (number 10 on the American Film Institute’s Top 100 Films of All Time list).

Fun Facts Morgan never actually graduated from Cornell, he dropped out. He also has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and was a member of Phi Psi.

Peter Ostrum D.V.M. ’84

Claim to Fame Penned the screenplay for The Way We Were, starring Barbara Streisand and Robert Redford.

Claim to Fame Played Charlie Buckett in the original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

David Seidler

Christopher Reeve

Claim to Fame Seidler won an Oscar for best original screenplay in 2011 for The King’s Speech.

Fun Fact At the time of the award ceremony, Seidler was the oldest person to have won an Academy Award for best original screenplay until Woody Allen won in 2012 for Midnight In Paris.

Claim to Fame He played Superman in the 1978 film.

Fun Fact Reeve did not technically graduate from Cornell; he received his degree anyway after being accepted to advanced standing at Juilliard his senior year.

A.B. English ’59

B.A. ’74

Editors, Directors, and Producers Howard Hawks

Mechanical Engineering ’17 Claim to Fame He was a notable director, helming projects such as His Girl Friday, Bringing Up Baby, the original Scarface, and To Have and Have Not (which starred Humphrey Bogart and was Lauren Bacall’s breakout role).

Fun Fact Has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame; he was a member of DKE.

Ryan Silbert

Communication ’02 Claim to Fame He broke onto the scene with his production of 2010 Oscar-winning short film God of Love. Silbert was the executive producer of Some Velvet Morning, starring Stanley Tucci, and A Birder’s Guide to Everything, starring Ben Kingsley. He also co-produced Holy Rollers.

Tim Squyres

B.A. Psychology ’81 Claim to Fame As a film editor, he worked on Life of Pi, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Rachel Getting Married, and Taking Woodstock.

Fun Facts Squyres received an Oscar nomination for his editing work on Life of Pi. He’s the brother of current Cornell astronomy professor Steve Squyres. He is also the second Cornellian film editor to work on a movie about Woodstock—the other is Thelma Schoonmaker who worked on Woodstock, a 1970 documentary.

Jimmy Smits M.F.A. ’82 Claim to Fame You might know him from television’s The West Wing, but in movies he’s known for another political role as he plays Senator Bail Organa in Star Wars: Episode II— Attack of the Clones and subsequent sequels.

ARTS

5

TITUS

ANDRONICUS

Schwartz puts us on an emotional rollercoaster Celeste Cirillo-Penn

Chances are, if you are not an English major or a theater enthusiast, the name William Shakespeare is groan inducing. Sure, modern academia places Shakespeare on a pedestal, extolling the virtues of his poetic language and complex plots; but for most individuals, Shakespeare is nothing more than a mandatory right of passage in American education. In fact, when I mentioned that I was writing an article on a Shakespeare play, one of my friends proceeded to tell me that Sparknotes’ No Fear Shakespeare was a godsend and that it was the only way she got through Shakespeare in high school. This reaction is not surprising given the uninspired teaching of Shakespeare’s works in many high school literature courses. However, many of Shakespeare’s themes are timeless and the Schwartz production of Shakespeare’s Titus Andronicus looked to show that by transforming the text into a play that was exciting, relevant and accessible to modern viewers.

Titus Andronicus, which centers on a series of escalating revenge plots including murder and rape, is one of Shakespeare’s most controversial and gruesome plays. However, Spencer Whale ‘14, the play’s director, saw more potential and relevance in the play than one may have initially assumed from both the text’s performance history and Shakespeare’s relatively small role in the lives of most college students.

“When I first read the play, it confused and scared me, and also fascinated me,” Whale

6

ARTS

Andy Gillis/Cascadilla Photography

“I HAD NEVER

CRIED BEFORE,

ONSTAGE

SO BREAKING DOWN TWICE

IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE WAS

BOTH

EMOTIONALLY

VULNERABLE FOR ME

AS A PERFORMER AND FAR OUT OF MY

COMFORT ZONE.” -MAX JOH-CARNELLA said. “The play is jarring and haunting, but also wickedly funny. It has a terrific aura about it, and a notoriously-rocky performance history, but I came to understand the play as a severely misunderstood work. I wanted to mount a production that would be meaningful to modern audiences in the way it was to Elizabethan audiences...”

As seen by its prominence in many modern television shows, revenge is haunting topic that still has the power to hold attention. The challenge for Whale, however, was how to make this horrifying and over-the-top revenge plot accessible and appealing to modern viewers. Whale met this challenge by updating the dress, contextualizing the plot by using another text referenced in Shakespeare’s work, Ovid’s Metamorphoses, as a frame, altering the ending for increased tension and reflection and setting the play in a less specific time and place. In addition, he chose to stage the play in the Black Box theater, which allowed audience members to sit on all sides of the stage.

“... Staging this play in the round, right in the audience’s lap, was an exhilarating challenge,” Whale said. “There’s little room for theatrical artifice in the round, since the audience can see from all angles, which creates particular challenges when staging fight sequences, which usually are filled with illusion created by controlled angles.”

However, despite these possible difficulties inherent in modernizing a Shakespeare work, the cast, director and crew were able to produce an action-packed play.

“I loved the physicality of the show,” Max Joh-Carnella ‘16, who played Lucius, said. “The combination of beautiful and powerful language paired with the brutality of the violence was exhilarating. I got to put Alex [who played Aaron the Moor] up on the noose. That scene was always overflowing with energy. The whole cast brought great energy and a new life to the show every time we did it, so every night we got to share it with an audience was awesome.”

The violence and raw emotions of the

show provided for a thrilling experience for audience members. “I really enjoyed the play,” Erin Mathios ‘16 said. “The play was shocking, emotionally raw and really captivated me.”

However, at times reaching the emotional state required for successful performance was a challenge for the cast.

“For me, initially, accessing the rage that was present in Lucius was very difficult,” Joh-Carnella said. “I inhabited a character far from my natural state, so getting to that place was an interesting emotional journey. Furthermore, I had never cried onstage before, so breaking down twice in front of an audience was both emotionally vulnerable for me as a performer and far out of my comfort zone.”

While everything came together on stage and the cast was able to deliver a memorable performance, it took many hours of hard work to get to that point.

Whale first developed the concept years ago and proposed the idea in the Fall of 2012. From this concept, the long process began. After the completion of casting, which took place in March of 2013, the cast started preparation, which included taking a class together on Shakespeare.

“The class met for two hours every Tuesday and Thursday in the Black Box Theater,” Joh-Carnella said. “We spent the first 7 weeks of rehearsal working on how to approach Shakespeare and his texts from a practical direction. We built our vocal dexterity and learned new ways to access the text - both mechanical and mental ...We did a close reading of the text, scanning - figuring out the meter- all of our lines, and working at a table together to nail down the important elements of the story and relationships between characters.”

After the completion of the class, the cast moved on to grueling four or more hour rehearsals toward the end of the Fall of 2013. Despite the hard work, Whale is thankful for the opportunity to put on an updated version of such a controversial, but still enthralling play.

“The cast of Titus was phenomenally hardworking and immensely brave, and I’m so thankful for having had the chance to work with them on this crazy, amazing show,” Whale said. “Just to be given the opportunity to direct so unique a play, and to be given the trust and freedom to be bold with it, has been a dream come true.”

ARTS

7

Pumpkins & Didgeridoos: SITTING DOWN WITH THE

CHIME

MASTERS Michael Rosenblum

Mysterious. Anonymous. Clandestine.

These words often come to mind when one thinks of the Cornell Chimesmasters.

My conversation with two from among their ranks, Keiran Cantilina’15 and Charlie Xu’16, offered a glimpse into the world of the Chimesmasters: who they are, what they do, and what they want Cornell to know about them.

The Chimesmasters decide what songs to play, when to play them, what songs get added to their 2,500-song database, and who lives or dies. Okay, that last one may not be entirely accurate. There are only three restrictions on what can be played: no songs played within the last three weeks, no national anthems or politically inflammatory songs, and no “Lean On Me” (apparently it sounds awful on the bells). Otherwise, the Chimesmasters can play any song they want to play, so long as it is in their database, or they can transpose it themselves. They also frequently take song requests. I know

8

ARTS

what you’re thinking, but don’t worry - I already suggested that Ignition (Remix)

by R. Kelly be added to their song catalog.

The Chimesmasters are those who made it through the grueling, 10-week long competition process designed to weed out the inexperienced and uncommitted.

The process starts with hours of practice sessions and multiple auditions, and ends with the current masters voting on whether or not each contestant is inducted into the Chimesmaster family.

The vote must be unanimous for a decision to be rendered. This year, the new Chimesmasters will be announced on April 27th. Once accepted into their ranks, a whole new world emerges for those privileged individuals.

The Chimesmasters enjoy a tightknit community, both on campus and after graduation. Charlie explained that, “once you’re a Chimesmaster, you’re a Chimesmaster for life.” In fact, alumni often come back to campus and want to play a concert on the bells. Keiran told

me how an alumnus from the class of 1955 once arrived an hour early so that he could “make sure he made it to the top of the Tower in time.”

With an almost 150-year long history, there are a multitude of funny stories that Chimesmasters have to share. One such tale was about the time a stranger chased Keiran all the way to the top of the Tower. Once there, the stranger exclaimed, “Man, you’re fast!” He then pulled out a didgeridoo (picture a 4 to 10 foot long wooden trumpet) and began playing throughout the chimes concert.

You know, normal, everyday stuff.

Cantilina and Xu left me with these final words: “No, we didn’t put the pumpkin on top of the Tower; wish we did, but it really wasn’t us. Also, sometimes we sneak into the tour groups, just to see what they say about us.” So watch your backs, Cornellians. The Chimesmasters will know if you’re spreading rumors about them.

University Photography (Jason Koski, Robert Barker)

To Snap or Not to Snap?

SNAPCHAT ETIQUETTE Claire Baum

Snapchat photo-sending app was originally created by two Stanford University students, Evan Spiegel and Reggie Brown, in 2011 as part of a project for one of Spiegel’s classes. When it first gained popularity last winter, I was skeptical of its appeal. When my friend tried to explain that it was “an app that lets you send photos that are only viewable for a couple of seconds” I’m pretty sure my response was something along the lines of “why can’t I just see the photo for as long as I want?”

I was convinced that Snapchat was going to be one of those apps that I give up on after a month, but never have the heart to delete. But snapchat has proved me wrong so far. It has become a staple of our community, a method of sharing our most flattering selves… or not. Snapchat, alongside with instagram are two staple smartphone applications that are almost exclusively accessed on mobile devices. Snapchat was revolutionary in the sense that it had no equivalent. Nothing similar had ever been created before. Snapchat has become a staple of smartphones everywhere. It’s a fun and casual way to share photos with a more targeted group of people than either facebook or instagram allows for. Whatever your view or use for snapchat might be, there is a certain code of etiquette that everyone should abide by.

Snapchatting in Public:

What would snapchat be if you only sent selfies of yourself at home? Boring. This, however, does not give you license to snapchat away in public. Snapchating in public is the equivalent of putting your text messages up on a big screen; everySnapchat

one can see what you’re sending. Public snaps must be done carefully or you run the risk of being that person making a duckface into their phone in Libe cafe. I will judge you for it. Don’t send a snapchat in public when a text would suffice.

Always remember that there is a fine line between a snapchat and a selfie in which you are forcing everyone on your snapchat friends list to view.

Drawing on Snapchats:

There is nothing better than receiving artistic depictions of my friends covered in squiggly lines or the occasionally drawnin Santa hat.

Snapchatting Where You Are:

Make it good. This is my personal favorite to ever receive.

I might be the minority here, but I’m actually a fan of this function. Snapchatting places can be a less self-centered way to brag about where you are with everyone.

Unlike facebook, snapchatting places can force people to look at your pretty pictures.

Drunk Snapchatting:

Snapchatting Videos:

Funny Caption Snapchats:

Fun fact for everyone: if you snapchat someone, you can’t see what you’ve sent after it’s been sent to people on your friends list. Not everyone is on your best friends list for a reason. Keep that in mind when you send those drunk, 2am snaps to everyone on your contact list. Did you send something embarrassing? Probably.

You’ll never know.

Snapchatting Funny Faces:

Snapchat will notify you if someone takes a screenshot; that doesn’t mean they can’t take the snapchat to begin with. If you’re going to send something ridiculous, consider lowering the viewing time to 2-3 seconds; just long enough for them to see your beautiful expression and nothing more.

If you don’t turn on the sound, I can’t hear you. As hilarious as it is to see your friends doing something ridiculous for a few seconds on video, it doesn’t have the same appeal if I can’t hear it.

What I once thought of as a passing phase similar to apps such as “Words With Friends” or “Draw Something” (remember those? Because I barely do.), has proven me entirely wrong. Even Ghostface Chillah, snapchats mascot, has now become a widely recognized symbol as the app continues to explode in popularity.

TECH

9

Katie O’Brien

It is hardly an original observation that while sitting in any room full of people, you will notice that a large portion of the group has their eyes intently fixated downward, their pointer finger and thumb fully engaged in a tap dance across the touch screen of their smartphone. Each person is utterly absorbed in their own tailored world, accustomed to constant access to texting, email, games, music, calendar, Facebook, Google, and more.

Once you have a smartphone, it is difficult to conceive of daily life without one, as it becomes a sort of outer limb on which you depend for contact and information.

Google Glass takes the technology of a smartphone and attaches it to the head is this the next step? As it is still in the testing phase, there are many questions about this innovative product. Several

10

TECH

Cornellians have gotten the opportunity to experiment with Google Glass.

Last year, Cynthia Johnston Turner, director of Wind Ensembles and associate professor of conducting at Cornell, won a contest to test the product as a Google Glass Explorer. She and a student, Tyler Erlich ‘14, have been working on ways to use Google Glass as a tool to improve music teaching. On their blog, CU Winds Goes Glass, they have recorded many of their experiences. Turner wrote that the moment she put on Glass was “very cool,” and that the technology feels “light as a feather.” However, she reported that her first week wearing Glass was “a bit underwhelming,” and “the whole idea of wearable technology is so cool, but Glass is still so limited,” noting how it was no less complicated to video chat with a friend than it is on a computer. She

concluded, “the device is still clearly in beta stages, and has a long way to go until it changes the way we use technology.”

She also mentioned that when she wears Glass in public, “people look at me with the same looks that I give people when I see them smoking.” Despite these limitations, Turner and Erlich’14 have managed to find many interesting ways to utilize Glass. For example, Turner uses Glass at CU Winds auditions to record students so that the students can see themselves performing and receive better feedback. She and Erlich’14 integrated a metronome and a still image transfer system with Glass. Their efforts show that Google Glass could have an integral place in the classroom in the future as people find creative ways to use it effectively to improve teaching and learning.

Students in the College of Engineering

had the opportunity to try Google Glass at a career fair, thanks to alumnus Jeremy Blum, a Google Glass Hardware Engineer.

According to a post on his website, “You can’t truly understand how amazing Google Glass is until you wear it.”

Justin Watt ‘16 said, “What most impressed me about the Goggle Glass was its potential applications in important fields. In a Youtube video shown at the Google table, firefighters used Glass to get directions to an accident, and then superimpose a map of a disabled car’s cut points to remove the roof.” When asked what it felt like to wear Google Glass, he replied, “The integration of the camera, internet connectivity, and voice commands really made Glass aware of its surroundings and a fun and useful tool. I could definitely see myself wearing it on a daily basis. While not necessary, it would improve my life in many ways. Plus it’s freaking cool technology, I felt like I was Geordi La Forge with it on.”

Matt Eisner ‘16 said about the experience, “It felt like being in a sci-fi movie. The technology responded well to my voice and the heads-up display was really intuitive.

The only drawback was that after 15 minutes of heavy use (playing fruit ninja) the battery behind my ear started to get uncomfortably hot.” He, too, could see himself using Google Glass regularly, with one caveat: “If I had the funds to purchase Google Glass, I would definitely buy a pair, but I wouldn’t wear it in public because people who fear being recorded might get angry at me.”

When asked whether they could picture Google Glass ever replacing smartphones, Watt’16 and Eisner’16 both agreed that for now, it’s more of an augmentation of a smartphone than a replacement for one because it’s not practical to always be chained to voice commands.

It is true that as Google Glass seeps into public usage, there have been several reported controversies. Recently, a San Diego driver received a ticket for wearing Google Glass while driving. However, CNN reports that the judge “threw out both charges, stating there wasn’t enough evidence to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the Google Glass was turned on at the time.

It is only illegal to wear the device while driving if it is operational.” This case shows the legal ambiguities inherent in the new technology, and eight states have responded by proposing legislation that would ban the wearing of Google Glass while driving.

According to Reuters, Google has been CBS Television

dispatching lobbyists to try to stop such laws from being created. There is also the question of privacy, because as it stands, there are no physical signs, such as a blinking light, that indicate a Google Glass user is recording a video or taking a picture. In January, a man was detained and questioned for hours by Homeland Security in Ohio for wearing Google Glass in a movie theater, based on the suspicion that the man was using Glass to illegally record the movie for pirating purposes. According to Pcworld, the man explained that Google Glass was turned off at the time, but attached to his prescription glasses. The charge was dropped because, similarly to the driving case, there was no evidence that the device was recording at the time. Based on these cases, people are not sure how to react to Google Glass at the moment, and society will need to adapt to Glass if it is to become as widespread and accepted as Google hopes.

Google provides Glass Explorers with a list of “do’s” and “don’ts” for courteous usage. The guidelines encourage users to ask permission before taking anyone’s photo or video, and to turn off Google Glass if you are asked to turn off your phone. They introduce new terminology, telling users not to “glassout” (staring into the screen for long periods of time), or act like a “Glasshole” (be creepy or rude).

Google maintains on their Explorers webpage that Glass “was built for short burst of information and interactions that allow you to quickly get back to doing the other things you love,” and that the product “puts you more in control of your technology and frees you to look up and be engaged with the world around you rather than look down and be distracted from it.” Professor Turner pointed out in her blog that she “counted 22 people who nearly walked into [her] because they had their heads down” absorbed in their phones. Theoretically, using Google Glass eliminates this problem. However, Watt’16 and Eisner’16 agreed after trying Glass that it would be easy to be distracted by the screen in your peripheral vision as well, especially if you are using Glass they same ways you use a smartphone.

Either way, it is evident that Google is just beginning their quest to integrate Glass into the mainstream. They have certainly caught people’s attention with the product, but for now, whether Glass sparks more excitement or controversy is largely dependent on the Glass Explorers and how they choose to utilize the technology.

“I COULD DEFINITELY SEE MYSELF

WEARING IT ON

A DAILY BASIS.

WHILE NOT NECESSARY, IT WOULD IMPROVE

MY LIFE

IN MANY WAYS.

PLUS, IT IS

FREAKING COOL TECHNOLOGY, I FELT

LIKE I WAS

GEORDI LA FORGE

WITH IT ON.”

-JUSTIN WATT

11

TECH

#TRENDING Your guide to socially acceptable social media terminology Morgan Miller Remember the days when Twitter wasn’t even a thing? When we all spoke normally, and not in broken hashtags and acronyms?

Well, those days are long gone.

Now every questionable decision begins with a “YOLO,” and every rude comment is followed by a “#sorrynotsorry” (as if that somehow makes the previous offense okay). Whether it has been a change for the better or worse, it has happened.

Some of these hashtags are hilarious, and some are horrendous. So, let’s talk about some recent #trends. #YOLO (You Only Live Once): Especially when used as an excuse to do anything you want, this hashtag has gone too far. You can’t just yell “YOLO,” chug a bottle of Jack, and expect everything to be okay in the end. You will die. You actually only live once, so don’t ruin it by “YOLOing.” #blessed: This hashtag is overused as an excuse for a “humble brag,” but nothing about it is humble. For example: “Yachting in Cabo for spring break! #blessed.” Let me save you some embarrassment, adding #blessed at the end of that sentence does not make you sound like less of a brat.

Just stop bragging in a public setting, everyone! Okay?

12

TECH

#sorrynotsorry: It’s a written slap to the face. I love it. I think it is hilarious, especially when used sarcastically. Everyone should use this more! #NoFilter: Did anyone ask you if your photo was filtered? Does anyone care? Am I ever going to care? The answer to all of these is a resounding NO. Filter your pictures or not, but I don’t want to hear about the process behind it. #Ivy_____: If I follow you on Instagram or Twitter, there is a 99.99% chance that I know where you go to school. You do not need to advertise it. Special worst of the worst #ivy anything hashtags award goes to #ivyswag. Needless to say: make it stop. #TSM or #TFM (Total Sorority/Frat Move): These hashtags are a tossup. When used seriously, they are really pretty offensive. When used sarcastically, they are hilarious.

No: “ugh there is glitter all over my room because I was crafting for my little all day, she’s the luckiest #TSM” Yes: “Is it bad to take my birth control with wine? #TSM.” Tweets like this one make me look put together in comparison to the writer, which is an added bonus.

Bonus points if you are a guy and can successfully use #TSM or if you are a girl and successfully use #TFM. I have yet to see this successfully done, so if you can pull it off, you are my idol.

#Shit_____Says: Please keep sharing the embarrassing things your friends say! You get to make fun of them publically and I get to laugh at it. It’s a win-win situation. #mcm (Man Crush Monday): If it includes a picture of Adam Levine with a puppy (my personal man crush everyday of the week), yes, please! If it is a picture of your boyfriend, no thank you. #transformationtuesday: Cue the photographic evidence of everything you tried to hide from your youth. I love seeing my friends in their awkward stages. #wcw (Woman Crush Wednesday): “I LOVE JENNIFER LAWRENCE SO MUCH SHE IS SO COOL AND DOWN TO EARTH AND WE ARE SOULMATES AND WILL BE BFFS ONE DAY #wcw.”

No more please. #tbt (Throwback Thursday): Generally this includes the participant thoroughly embarrassing himself or herself, a friend, or a sibling, so obviously we have to have this!

Friday?!: Let’s show Friday some love with it’s own potentially embarrassing hashtag. #FlashbackFriday anyone? I envision this being the written version of TBT. A chance to reminisce about super embarrassing moments from your past, like that time you face planted in the middle of your high school campus. Wait that was me #flashbackfriday. #DontJudgeMe: Too late, I already am.

FLAPPY SKORTON Xiao Xu’s ‘15 parody of Flappy Bird takes Cornell by storm

Tania Perez

Overheard at Cornell: the clicking of computer keys and suddenly, “Crap!

That’s it. I’m done. Actually, just one more time” Maybe you’ve overheard your roommate, your best friend, your RA, or the Clocktower chimers playing Flappy Skorton. If you haven’t heard of Flappy Skorton, surely you’ve heard of its pseudo-parent Flappy Bird. You know, that ridiculously addictive and impossible game where you literally tap your phone screen and crash into a pipe approximately 0.4 seconds later? Flappy Skorton is sort of like that, except you’re slamming the spacebar of your Mac to get President Skorton’s smiling face through some green walls and then proceed to die. Never forget that Einstein once said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different

Xiao Xu

results.” Clearly Cornellians are f#$%ing bat$!^# crazy because I’ve heard it said one too many times that, and I quote, “FLAPPY SKORTON IS LYFE!” This Flappy Bird curse overtook Cornell early in the Spring 2014 semester.

Thanks to the never-ending snow and mountains of work, Cornell students were easily susceptible to Flappy Bird. It became the procrastination solution that many turned to, and thus the Flappy Bird zombies were born. It wasn’t long until a Cornellian appropriated it, conveniently around the time that the OG Flappy Bird was removed from the App store, and made Flappy Skorton.

Maybe Xiao Xu ’15 the computer science major who created the Cornellinspired game was taking out his frustrations on Cornell? Xu created the game while procrastinating on work (big surprise). Xu’s Flappy Skorton page has

been viewed, and presumably played over 9,000 times. Hm, perhaps it was one too many crashes against a virtual brick wall that spurred Skorton’s decision to leave Cornell? Although he will be sorely missed, it’s nice to know his face will always live on in Flappy Skorton.

So put down your problem sets and textbooks and join me on the web to play Flappy Skorton. Not only is it a great way to procrastinate, you can honor our soon to be former-President Skorton with a flying sendoff. Kudos if you can get past 14 points (the approximate number of sunny days a Cornellian sees per semester).

I have it on good authority that if you somehow manage to get to level 60 there is a surprise waiting. So, what are you waiting for - get flapping!

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13

E D I S IN Hannah McGough During the summer of 2013, Dan Greener ‘14 was working at Google while Adam Groner ‘14 was interning at Apple. Over an email exchange, the two Skitsophrenics comedy group members put their heads together to conceive of a site that would gross a couple grand in just a couple of months.

You've seen it on your Facebook newsfeed, and at least once you've wondered if it's purely fiction.

Parody news outlet CUNooz is the new kid on the block that has taken the campus by storm, shedding comedic light on Cornell happenings and painting the school's biggest headlines in satire. Digging for Nooz, I sat down with the site's incoming Managing Editor, Adam Turkle, and Business Operator, Adam Greenbaum to talk boundaries, backlash, and what's next for the Nooz brand.

Tell me about the birth of CU Nooz.

A.T. The idea was that there was a niche that needed to be filled for the best comedy source on campus for Cornell students. There had been a number of sites that tried to do this to varying degrees of success, namely College Basement and Cornellious, which really weren’t our style. I think these sites had a lack of strong management; nobody was taking responsibility for content going up and for ensuring generational leadership from year to year.

Show, and we model ourselves after The Onion which is like the gold standard for newspaper-style satire. Certainly the main goal of our site and the main reason people come to CUNooz is for entertainment, and then the secondary benefit, as you might call it, is commentary on campus issues and world issues.

What do you think parody sites like yours are doing for News—Why do you think people read you?

A.G. I think one thing that makes CUNooz really strong, especially compared to a lot of the other sites, is that we post content that is very funny but also relevant. Once something funny or controversial happens on campus, you can pretty much expect that an article will be written tomorrow about it in CUNooz.

Will you ever run out of content?

A.T. I think people read us primarily for entertainment; people aren’t looking to us for news. They say that a lot of people actually get their news from parody shows like The Colbert Report and The Daily

A.T. If anything, we have too much content on our plates, and it’s more about picking and choosing what content is the best.

Would you ever parody your-

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selves?

A.T. Absolutely. I thought of an article that’ll be posted this summer—I’m not going to spoil it, but it’s in that exact vein because we know it’s important to not take ourselves too seriously, especially if we become a noteworthy part of campus that people know about. That’s something that should be addressed by a news source on campus, [and a news source is what] we also happen to be in a way.

What won't you cover?

A.T. I don’t think anything, really. At our current age I’m not sure, but I want to get to the point where we’ll talk about anything. I know there are a lot of sensitive topics out there, but they can all be talked about in clever, acceptable ways. The best article about something like abortion is a really clever one that doesn’t insult anyone involved in abortion, but it insults the politics and the debate surrounding it.

Has CUNooz penned anything controversial like that before, and was there backlash?

A.T. Yes. I think the exact headline was “Administration Secretly Kind of Upset That No One Has Tried Out Suicide Nets.” I’ll start with the reason it was taken down. The site wasn’t ready for it yet.

It was posted at a time when we hadn’t established ourselves as much as we would like to, and we want to appeal to everyone before we [start] becoming more controversial—if we start off controversial, that’s a risky kind of business plan.

This article was solid though, because it didn’t mock people that commit suicide and it didn’t say to commit suicide, but rather it mocked the way the administration handles this issue on campus.

A.G. But we immediately took it down and we apologized to the community for posting it.

A.T. Certainly suicide is the kind of thing we want to address at some point, because it’s a very pervasive subject, but our first real, legitimate article about suicide? I want it to be the most clever article we’ve ever written.

You're able to discern when an article needs redaction. Have readers ever directly reached out to your organization saying “you know, that wasn't cool”?

A.T. Oh at least once, and also informally. But I think whenever we post things, I like to make sure that I’m comfortable posting it—which is not the strictest of barriers, but that’s because I feel like these articles can be defended on the basis that we do our best to bring up sensitive topics but not insult anyone involved in them.

Some of your articles seem to rely on stereotypes and profiling as a cheap way to guarantee a laugh, but your angles are a little more intelligent than people might assume. Could you speak to the creative process?

A.T. One of the original articles that sparked controversy was about discovering the original ending to the “Any person, Any study” motto— which we said was “except blacks and Jews.”

The joke is not that we don’t think blacks or Jews should go to Cornell, obviously—it’s such a ridiculous thing to say. What [the piece] was mocking is simply that in the 1860’s when Ezra Cornell was around, people were racist and antiSemitic, and in reality Ezra Cornell was probably not as open-minded as people might think he was.

There was a similar article about Goldwin Smith

not liking Jews in his building—Goldwin Smith was known to be an Anti-Semite.

But are people recognizing that there are intelligent reasons behind your content choices?

A.G. I think the interesting thing about CUNooz is that we have such a wide viewership base, and there must be so many perspectives about what our content is like and whether or not it’s appreciated or considered insulting.

A.T. Obviously intention is important.

A.G. Everything we say is supposed to be hilarious, and it’s not supposed to insult anybody, and it’s not supposed to tread anywhere that controversial. I think in terms of the intelligence component, CUNooz outperforms. Colbert Report, which is so popular, happens to have some of the most intellectually stimulating content I’ve ever watched.

What about legal issues? While you have a disclaimer on your site about the “Nooz” being pure parody, some of your work walks a fine line between that and libel.

A.T. I don’t think there are any concerns of libel, because people do understand it’s satire. I think it’s really funny when people think it’s real news.

Certainly we talk about a lot of sensitive topics, and if we were a legitimate news source it would be considered libel, but since it’s satire, one it gives us a lot of free range, and two the function of it is to treat these sensitive topics and bring them to the forefront and commentate on them.

Are you thinking of branching out into other digital platforms to do this?

A.T. We have certainly had talks about expanding into videos; people love videos. At this point it’s speculative, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see [video content] by the end of the semester.

Something that’s very important is keeping with our style. I want to make sure that any sort of video that we would post would stay in that genre, so [we’d consider] a Weekend Update-style thing or some sort of basic news report.

How are you establishing your brand on and beyond campus?

A.G. We've had 3 ad partnerships between Kraftees, the Cornellian Yearbook, and TakeNote.

Those were more me just trying to reach out into the community and tell people who we are.

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15

We were also open to doing advertisements that weren't just for money; we want to get our brand out there and help different stores by doing that for them too. For the time being we're not sure exactly we know how we want CUNooz to translate into a business, but we have made a modest amount of money from these three contracts.

That leads me to the question we're all wondering: What are you doing with all of the money?

A.G. Right now in terms of what we’ve done with it, we’ve put it all back into the business.

It’s basically sitting in a CUNooz bank account.

A.T. When we say it’s all going back into the site it’s not really paying for anything yet, it’s not going into our partners’ pockets. No one’s been paid yet, no writers are paid. Of course we’ve talked about what the future of the site would be in terms of potentially paying writers, but part of our concern with that is fear of people being less invested in it if they’re not doing it for the fun of it, for the expression.

What's next for the “Nooz” brand?

A.G. One thing that CUNooz is trying to do is expand to other schools. We launched an equivalent at Brandeis, and it has actually been doing pretty well. We want to expand to Maryland and potentially other schools and make the “Nooz” brand something that's not just at Cornell. Right now the ad revenue coming in [allows us to] keep afloat and not have to reach into our own pockets when it comes time to eventually fly out [to potential satellite schools].

Why expand at lesser-known schools; why not start within the Ivies?

A.T. Expansion is very difficult at the time. The hardest part of expanding is finding a Greener and a Groner and myself and a Greenbaum at every other school. You have to find people that are not only funny and interested in satire, but that are also extremely motivated and have the business savvy to handle this kind of project.

Do you see yourselves as having any competition?

A.T. We don’t really have direct competition, there’s no one exactly like us—no one that’s just a pure satire site.

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Photos courtesy of Isabella Krell

A.G. I think we pretty much outperform existing competition if there is any. Here at Cornell it’s obviously very easy for someone to create their own website and try to be the next CUNooz, but the fact that they’d even aspire to “be the next CUNooz” is a statement in itself, ‘cause we launched in mid-September of 2014 and we’ve done just really really well, especially in terms of viewership—we basically captured the whole market here.

And what does that market look like?

Could you give me some figures?

A.G. The way that we measure how we've been successful is through the analytics that we track.

We've gathered some amazing statistics about CUNooz in general: There's 14,000 people in the undergraduate school at Cornell, our unique visitorships—or the amount of people who visit the site in Ithaca alone—is a little bit over 20,000.

Our unique visitorship worldwide is about 35,000.

We've been averaging about 50,000 hits a month, and we started off with a bang at 30,000 a month and basically in every two month period have been going up by another 10,000. We average about 2,100 hits a day during the week, and a funny one is we've reached 147 countries.

What's the coolest reached? Like, Kenya?

country

you're

A.G. Well, definitely Kenya.

A.T. We've reached Kenya!

[Jokingly] It must be just one individual traveling the world and checking the site at every stop. Last question: Where do you see CUNooz in 5 years?

A.T. I'll give you an ideal and a reasonable expectation. Ideal, is that there's a Nooz site—an “N-O-O-Z” site—at 30 schools across the country, each one generating 1-2,000 hits a day.

A.G. Pretty much operating as well as CUNooz right now.

A.T. With CUNooz as sort of the flagship site.

And more realistically, we add maybe 5 more schools that hopefully all still operate about as well as CUNooz right now, and CUNooz is pulling about 5,000 [views] a day.

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18

SPORTS

MEN’S

VARSITY : BASKETBALL

A LOOK

BACK AT

THE YEAR

THE BIG RED IS A DIVISION 1 TEAM,

BUT THEY ENDED

WITH A 2-26 RECORD

WHAT WENT

WRONG?

Previous spread, clockwise from top left: Darryl Smith ’17 fights Austin Burgett ’16 of Notre Dame for the ball; Nolan Cressler ’16 jumps for the ball; Deion Giddens ’15 and Dwight Tarwater ’14 accost Eric Atkins ’14 of Notre Dame; Deion Giddens ’15 attempts a shot but is blocked by Garrick Sherman ’14 of Notre Dame ESPN.com

Elani Cohen

After finishing last year with a mediocre overall season record of 13-18, the Cornell Men’s basketball team went into the first game of the season with confidence. The players were tenacious in their pursuit to have more positive results this season.

The Red wanted to be victorious, and the boys had put in the time and effort needed for this accomplishment. They kicked off their season against a tough competitor, playing their first game against Syracuse University’s Orange at the Carrier Dome in Syracuse, New York.

The energy and competitive tension could be felt throughout the crowd; the Red were determined to win and wanted to break Syracuse’s 34-game win streak in the series.

The game began with starters junior captain Devin Cherry, senior forward Dwight Tarwater, freshman forward David Onuorah, sophomore guard Nolan Cressler and freshman guard Robert Hatter.

Throughout the first half, it looked as if the Red had a chance to beat Syracuse. In the first few minutes of the game, Hatter made a great offensive play: he swiftly threw the ball across court to Onuorah, who was conveniently right under the basket and made the shot. Due to Onuorah’s alley-oop, Cornell was able to break Syracuse’s 0-2 lead. As time ran out in the first half, Cornell continued to show Syracuse their aggressive side and gained an early 7-2 lead.

The Red’s scoring streak kept up throughout the first 25 minutes with three straight three pointers, and a tough bucket in the lane by Cressler increased the Red’s lead to 23-16. After forcing Syracuse into a time-out, Cornell was able to keep its lead as the teams went into the second half.

Syracuse took over during the second half, and relinquished the Red’s lead. However, after some back-and-forth play, Cornell took a one point lead with about 15 minutes left on the clock.

Unfortunately, that’s when the Orange started to really exert themselves and take over the game. Seven of Cornell’s eight possessions were quickly turned over, with six forced by Syracuse’s defense. With ten minutes left in the game, the Orange had gained a 16 point lead with an overall score of 64-48. The Orange’s lead didn’t end there, fluctuating between 16 and 21 through the next ten minutes of the game. The game ended with the Orange victorious, 82-60.

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19

Though the Red played a great first half and attempted to hold the Orange back throughout the second half, Syracuse’s offensive plays and defensive strategies were too hard to be conquered: their high lead came as a result of this tough play.

Unfortunately for Cornell, this losing streak was interminable and continued throughout the season. The Red did see some wins here and there, but losing was the overall theme of their season, ending with an overall season record of 2-26.

So the real question is, what went wrong? How could a Division One team, who won a fair amount of games last season, all of a sudden only win two this season?

A potential issue for the team could be that they are generally very young: out of the seventeen players on the team, eight are sophomores and freshmen. A very young team struggles with the problem of the players being unaware of what each

other’s strengths are, and how to most efficiently work together on the court.

Most of the teams in this division have been playing with each other for years, which gives them a definite advantage over Cornell.

Not only is this year’s team young, but the team was missing many their six talented seniors who graduated last May: forwards Errick Peck, Josh Figini, Eiten Chemerinski and Peter McMillan, and guards Miles Asafo-Adjel and Jonathon Gray.

Another problem for the Red this season was their inability to achieve a lead and keep their lead throughout the game: Cornell’s lead would be quickly conquered by their opponents. Cornell begins its games with confidence and enthusiasm, but it seems as if once the other team achieves a dramatic lead, or if the Red gets a lead, the team’s plays fall through and their effort decreases. This could be

“ANOTHER PROBLEM

FOR THE RED

THIS SEASON WAS THEIR INABILITY

TO ACHIEVE

A LEAD

AND KEEP IT” seen in their game against the University of Louisville. Louisville achieved an early 20-point lead, and Cornell’s defensive plays couldn’t stop Louisville from adding to their lead throughout the entire game.

It is also hard for the team to keep their lead or inhibit their opponent’s lead when one or two players are scoring all the baskets. Unfortunately for the Red, most of the players didn’t have good games on the same day, which means that each game one player would perform extremely well while another would perform terribly.

For example, in their game against Notre Dame, Nolan Cressler scored 17 points, Hatter had 15 and Tarwater had 10, but the rest of the team didn’t reach double digits.

Overall, the Cornell men’s basketball team did not have the best season. With a 2-26 record this season, the team has a lot of room for improvement. With the many missed shots and opportunities this season, it is important that the Red try and overcome these challenges by learning one another’s strengths and weaknesses, and working together as a team.

Though the Red will be losing seniors Jake Matthews, Dwight Tarwater and Montez Blair when they graduate in May, the team is looking forward to next season.

The team is hoping to overcome the many obstacles they had this season and with luck on their side, be victorious in their future endeavors. The players are excited to work together during practice, games, and off the court to strengthen their team dynamics. The team is confident that with practice and a myriad of changes in their plays and other areas that need improvement, they will be successful in the future.

Left: Nolan Cressler ’16 fends off Jerian Grant ’14 of Notre Dame

20

ESPN.com

RINK RATS

The Unsung Heroes of Cornell Hockey Zoe Forster

Top: (L-R) Luke Seitz ’16, Maegan Krieger ’16, Perry Koehler ’16, Allegra Moran ’16, Kevin Milian ’15, Eli Weiner ’16, Carleen Altinok ’16 and Morgan Doyle ’16 Right: (L-R) Eli Weiner ’16, Perry Koehler ’16 and Allegra Moran ’16

They change the nets between periods of hockey games. They shine the glass and make the ice silky smooth. Who are they?

They are the “Rink Rats,” a team of Lynah Rink maintenance staff members.

Kevin Milian ’15 and Eli Weiner ’16 both find that being a Rink Rat is a fun, rewarding experience that allows them to be apart of a unique, ongoing Cornell it: the throwing of newspaper, toothpaste, or fish. tradition.

According to Milian, the Harvard Milian has been a Rink Rat since his game is something the rink rats always freshman year when his figure skating anticipate in “excitement and dread.” It’s gym class teacher asked him if he wanted the most sold out game of the year, and to watch or work at hockey games. therefore a huge amount of garbage is “As a freshman, you always hear about thrown onto the ice. the great games and And when I say “WE ARE PART OF THAT team Cornell has, and I garbage I mean fish, hadn’t purchased season and other aquatic tickets, so I took the CORNELL TRADITION, creatures. opportunity and have JUST THE PART THAT This year’s game been working there ever on March 1 surely did since,” Milian ’15 said. not disappoint, with The team is Big Red coming out mostly responsible on top 3-2 in overtime. for maintaining the -KEVIN MILIAN Students brought even functionality of the rink, which ranges from wiping the glass to more energy this year with it being the changing the nets. However, sometimes last home game for the seniors.

This experience has allowed him to things get a little dirty. become closer to the Cornell community If anyone attends the Colgate or Harvard because the “crowd sort of becomes game, you’ve seen this or participated in one large mass of excitement, and it’s

LONGSTANDING

NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT”

Kevin Milian

impossible not to get sucked into that and feel like you are a part of this group,” Weiner said. He also feels “a special kinship to the hockey team. Although I have never met any of them, I’ve probably watched more hockey games than most people here.”

In addition to being part of the Cornell community, Weiner feels that this experience has taught him to “appreciate all the hard work that goes into planning a big event.”

Being at a highly competitive University, many students are involved on campus whether they write for the school newspaper or run a student organization.

But being a rink rat is different; it’s something only Cornell has.

“Even though picking up the fish, eels, and squid is gross and a bit dangerous,” Millian said. “It’s a memory and a privilege only a few of us have. We are part of that longstanding Cornell tradition; just the part that no one knows about.”

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21

ROCKSTARS

How an engineer and a psychologist find zen and community in rockclimbing

Hannah McGough

“I rock climb because it’s the best sport,” says Marino Leone ‘15 with a chuckle, pulling off a fringed, multi-color beanie and tossing it onto his fluorescent pink and lime windbreaker. Next to him lounges a very scruffy Phil Duvall ‘15, who lets out a boyish laugh at Marino’s answer.

They are avid climbers and best friends, both in love with the mountainsides and married to the sport of conquering their rugged terrain. While I enjoy rock climbing myself, I sat down with the guys to get a sense of what separates an amateur from a devotee.

Both Marino and Phil have joined me in climbing the Adirondacks upstate, and they seem to connect with the sport on a spiritual level that keeps them returning to the cliffs.

“Rock climbing takes modern technology and cool, manmade things and juxtaposes them with the splendor of nature and raw, earthy surroundings. You’re digging shiny new anchors into steadfast rocks that have been there forever,” explains Leone, a Basic Rock Climbing instructor at Lindseth Rock Wall in Bartels Hall.

Compared to other sports, rock climbing is unique; climbers use modern equipment to engage with an ancient environment.

Meanwhile, sports such as soccer and tennis are entirely contained to artificial structures that include paved courts and plotted fields.

Another fascinating duality

22

SPORTS

of rock climbing lies beyond the aesthetics and in the participation style. Considered a personal sport, climbing requires a tremendous amount of concentration and independence.

At the same time, the sport demands certain social skillsnamely, the ability to trust other climbers and communicate needs while climbing. “When you’re climbing, either inside or outside, trust is an important element because there’s always another person on the other side of the rope. It’s about trusting them, trusting yourself, and trusting the gear you’re using,” shares Leone.

Rock climbing is gear-heavy, and considered an expensive sport because of this.

There is a plethora of equipment involved in even the simplest climbing route, and the climber has to know how to use it—this is why more technicallyminded athletes tend to prefer rock climbing.

“I think a lot of the engineers are into rock climbing because they understand the system and feel safe with it,” observes Leone.

He is one of the few regular climbers studying humanities.

Adds Duvall, “As an engineer, climbing is much more empirical and observational. It shows itself most in outdoor climbing when you’re using small pieces of metal called nuts which are weighed at a certain amount of kilograms.

When placing them you have

to consider things like vertical forces and strength of the rock and the metal. The reliance on rope systems too, requires a great deal of problem solving to properly manage and escape dangerous situations; you’re making pulley systems using ropes, hauling other people using ropes.”

Duvall, a Cornell Outdoor Odyssey guide, Rock climbing instructor, and a mechanical engineering student, reasons that the majority of climbers who show up at the wall are engineers because they’re better prepared for the sport’s trials.

Rock climbing calls for the ability to think in a critical, problem-solving way that engineering students are trained to do so well here.

“We’re faced with a myriad of assignments and problem sets and expected to keep cool.

It’s not very different in rock climbing,” says Duvall.

Engineers are also more independent and may not be as socially driven as other majors, according to Duvall, which could explain their interest in the sport.

In rock climbing, the climber must always compare his performance back to himself; growth therefore comes from understanding one’s own limits, rather than being held accountable for a team’s success.

“It’s not a social sport,” admits Duvall. “And I really enjoy the fact that I don’t have to answer to anyone, unlike I would in a team sport.”

But while rock climbing is Hannah McGough

largely individualistic, by enjoying and participating in the sport regularly the climbers nonetheless form a community.

“Instead of starting out on a team or with the team mentality, in participating for yourself you end up being surrounded by a group of strongminded, individualist people who share the same passion. We like to push each other and encourage other climbers to do their best. Whenever you’re in Lindseth you’ll hear people yelling up the wall, screaming to climbers ‘You got this,’ and cheering when they reach the top,” says Duvall.

Marino nods along, and I ask him what it’s like to teach in an indoors facility as opposed to in nature.

Indoors, he says, comes with the benefit of a controlled environment where he can map out a lesson and have it go according to plan, whereas outdoors he can’t anticipate what roadblocks could challenge completion of a route.

The cons of teaching indoors is that he has to inspire his students, instead of letting the natural forces—the beauty of sunsets, trees, and hawks circling below—take care of that.

But regardless of where the climbing takes place, the activity alone merits praise. At Cornell we all need stress relievers and rock climbing is a huge one, on top of the existing mental health benefits of exercise.

Marino and Phil argue that the balance delivered through rock climbing exceeds that of any other activity, including meditation and yoga.

“Part of the yin yang of rock climbing is that it is both very physical and very mental. You need to know how to use your body and also how to calm your mind, or you won’t be successful,” preaches Leone.

With a more personal tone, Duvall adds, “Rock climbing is a way for me to connect with my body, feel like I’m whole because all of the parts are communicating, and most importantly push the ways that I find balance both physically and mentally. Being able to keep a level head while physically exerting yourself is a beautiful experience.”

SPORTS

23

Finding Balance your First Climb Where do I go?

Cornell has two on-campus rock climbing facilities, located in Bartels Hall and Noyes gymnasium. Bartels’ Lindseth Rock Wall is the largest indoor natural rock wall in the Northeast, and is a great spot if you’re looking to climb high and literally “learn the ropes”—the wall is constantly buzzing with friendly staff and avid climbers, a great environment for any learner. Noyes’ Bouldering Wall, though much smaller than Lindseth, offers the bouldering experience (climbing without ropes or harnesses) if you’re ready for a hard workout (read: scaling rocks at a negative slant).

For a real rock climbing experience in the great outdoors, get in touch with Cornell Outing Club to be clued in about upcoming trips, which are as frequent as every weekend and are fully outfitted by the club.

Who do I go with?

Find a friend who has climbed before—

he or she doesn’t have to be a seasoned climber—or go by yourself with a very open mind. The climbing community is strong; if you go with the mentality of talking to people and asking for help, you will learn a lot by being receptive to the wealth of knowledge they impart. Leone notes that even if you’re not comfortable striking up conversation, climb on: you’ll still learn a lot from the sheer experience alone. The key factor in success is not being afraid to fall off the wall!

On belay vs. off belay: being “on belay” means you are harnessed and tied to a climbing partner below who has been certified to belay others. Should you fall while climbing, you are protected by the rope system and your partner’s hand work. Being “off belay” means you are climbing freestyle, and are unprotected should you fall (not recommended).

What should I know?

While the majority of your learning will come through experience, there are some helpful pointers for those new to the ropes.

What to wear: Treat your first climb like a yoga class, and wear clothing that is comfortable and flexible – you’ll contort your limbs in ways you never knew you could! As for footwear, fear not: climbing shoes (constructed with special high-traction soles) are available for rental at both Noyes and Bartels (shoes at Bartels cost $4, and can be bursared). All the other gear you’ll need is at the wall and free of charge!

The ABCDE’s: This is the acronym for the mental checklist that every climber should go through before belaying a partner or climbing on belay.

A stands for anchor—check that the belayer is anchored to the floor.

B stands for belay device—assess the belay device for proper rope feeding.

C stands for carabiner—make sure that the carabiner is locked.

D stands for double-backed—ensure that you and your partner’s harness

straps have been fed through twice for reinforcement.

E stands for eight knot—see that your partner’s eight knot is secure.

Climbing commands: Communication is vital to safety. Because sound can be lost shouting up to a climber or down to a belayer, it is important to know some of the brief, universal commands. Syntax is extremely important.

“On Belay?” is what a climber should ask a belayer before climbing. “Belay On,” is the belayer’s proper response, if the climber is secure.

“Climbing” is what the climber should announce upon beginning to climb, and “Climb On” is what the belayer should respond.

“Up Rope” is what the climber says to the belayer if there is too much slack, making his climb

less tight and secure. Alternatively, “slack” is what the climber says to the belayer if he wants

more leeway in his rope.

“Take” is what the climber says to the belayer should he ever intentionally let go.

“On Rappel” is what the climber announces to everyone should he decide

to finish climbing and begin rappelling down the wall.

“Rock!” is the proper command for alerting others to a falling object (equipment, stone, sandwich, what have you).

24

SPORTS

Hannah McGough

CORNELLIANS Emily Tripoldi Just when you thought you could escape the tragic place we call Cornell University for February break and partake in some winter Olympic watching, you realized Cornell doesn’t ever really leave you alone.

TAKE SOCHI No lacrosse in the Olympics, you say?

No problem, because we Cornellians can simply pick up new sports. Just ask Chris Langton ‘12. Playing for the Big Red men’s lacrosse team from 2009-2012, he joined his brother, Steve, on the USA Bobsled team. Although not partnered with his brother, Chris Langton gained the necessary experience to help him continue his career. A great athlete with an incredible amount of future potential, be sure to keep your eye out for Chris Langton in the 2018 winter Olympics.

Don’t worry, we have the USA women’s bobsled team on lock.

Jamie Greubel was finished breaking records and taking names as a Big Red track and field star when she graduated in 2006, but her athletic career did not end there.

Upon graduating, she picked up bobsledding in 2006.

After crushing a few backback World Cup bobledding games, she tried her luck in Sochi. Greubel and her partner, Emily Avezedo, earned a Bronze medal this year in Sochi.

Oh, did you want to talk about women’s ice hockey? We can do that.

Laura Fortino ‘13, Brianne Jenner ‘14, Rebecca Johnston ‘12, and Lauriane Rougeau ‘13 all competed for Team Canada in Sochi this February. Don’t get me wrong, I consider myself a dedicated fan of the United States of America. But then Jenner scores the first Canadian goal, Johnston assists on the goal to send them into overtime, and Fortino assists on the winning goal during that overtime period, while Rougeau takes a few shifts in the defensive end, and all of a sudden I’m jumping out of my seat screaming “Go Canada!” Although we all wanted

about, or hearing the worlds “Cornell University,” it’s hard not to feel proud watching these athletes represent our school so exceptionally well. Plus, it gave us an excuse to tweet “#LGR,” Instagram an overly filtered picture of your glass of wine held up in front of the Sochi emblem on TV, and, most importantly, publicly confuse “medal” with “metal” while typing our overly-aggressive, Cornell pride Facebook statuses. Beautiful.

a relaxing February break, free from being at, thinking

SPORTS

25

The Human Behind

HUMANS

OF CORNELL

Isabella Krell

The “Humans of Cornell University” Facebook page, currently with 5,825 likes (at the time of publication) has developed tremendous popularity since its beginnings and has made a huge impact on Cornellians.

The page hit 1,000 likes within 48 hours of creation, and has kept growing thanks to the marketing efforts of creator Jenna Galbut, who says, “I did put a lot of thought into making this page blow up like it has…but honestly, I really don’t think it has anything to do with me. I simply gave people a platform to stand on that they’ve been waiting for.”

She wanted to give herself and others on Cornell’s campus the “opportunity to connect to a stranger even for just a moment in ‘real’ life and then immortalize the captured moment on the web.” She believes that “people are more willing to talk to others” and that they are “shying away less” after the creation of this page.

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Galbut hopes to turn this project into a larger organization, and expects to pass the torch down to a senior next year.

There were a lot of reasons behind the creation of the “Humans of Cornell University” page.

Firstly, the page is inspired by the “Humans of New York” Facebook page.

Jenna has been following the HONY for a while and has always found it to be interesting and inspiring.

Secondly, Galbut said that people fascinate her and that she believes everyone has an intriguing story and that people can learn something new from everyone. A personal problem for her on the Cornell campus has been being in the present moment. She used to let her anxiety about classes or her own future get the best of her; She used to be controlled by fears of failure and what her peers and professors thought of her.

After three very stressful years on this campus, she realized she needed a break.

Galbut took a semester off to work on herself, and to develop her aspirations and goals. Before the semester began again, she decided that she wanted to be more present, and that make her last semester at Cornell worth it and memorable, and leave a part of her behind. Therefore, giving rise to the “Humans of Cornell University” Facebook page.

Galbut started the page with the purpose of creating a sense of community on campus. She wanted people to be able to walk around campus and not feel alone. She wanted every student, teacher, and staff to feel connected to each other.

With “Humans of Cornell University,” she wanted to form a space of wholeness for the entire campus. She feels that many times she (and others around her) meet people they want to talk to but are too afraid to because of fear of what others might think of them.

She developed an environment in which individuals aren’t scared of

speaking up and appearing in pictures; one in which they are less worried of how others might judge them. This therefore created the opportunity for people to get to know others on campus.

As mentioned previously, Galbut believes that everyone has a story, and that one just needs to get up the courage to ask them to share their story with you. When selecting who is going to be featured on the page, she wants to highlight “the ups and downs, the quirks, the weirdness, and the cuteness of each person found on and around this campus.”

Jenna thinks that “everyone is unique, yet simultaneously we can all understand each other because each perspective of humanity sheds a light on the whole.”

She wanted to embellish this synecdoche (which is a term that roughly translates to “a part that stands for the whole”).

“Each person I interview” she explains, “is one piece of the puzzle. My goal is for each viewer to see that they are a part of the same thing that each interviewee is a part of. Each person is a reflection in the mirror we all look into. This whole campus--the students, the professors, the faculty, and the staff are all a part of what makes Cornell so great. I wanted to give everyone a chance to share and see the beauty of every human here that is part of the picture.”

Galbut mentioned that there were some challenges and rewards in making the Facebook page.

One reward for her is that she is putting a lot of effort into the page and the effort is paying off. She has noticed that the people she asks questions to sense that she is going out of her comfort zone to do so, and they ‘meet her halfway.’ She may never see or interact with this person again; she doesn’t know their name and they don’t know hers. Yet for one or two minutes, this stranger meets her somewhere between their comforts zones and they talk for a bit.

A big challenge for her has been simply putting so much effort into this project while still being a student, taking 19 credits, and being involved with extracurricular activities on campus, as well as being a friend with many social obligations and desires, and a person with her own personal everyday ups and downs.

She mentioned that another challenge is her past proclivity towards perfectionism. She had to teach herself that she doesn’t need to have every detail in order before acting. Through the creation of this page, she’s learned that when you feel something in your gut, you should trust it and go for it.

Jenna Galbaut

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27

ETHAN

EXPOSED:

Yasmin Alameddine

It’s been a long, exhausting day filled with meetings and classes, and you’re making the final stretch to Olin Library to a get few hours of reading done before dinner. As you round the corner of the arts quad, you spot a guy sitting cross-legged at the edge of the quad reading a book—in shorts. Now, this usually wouldn’t cause you to stop and look—there are hundreds of collegians who enjoy laying on the grassy, picturesque quads—but it’s the dead of winter.

With high temperatures barely reaching 0 degrees, even you—in your hundreds of layers, clunky snow boots, and hefty winter jacket—are freezing. “How is he not?,” you think as you continue walking. And then suddenly, something even more unordinary happens: he looks up at you and smiles, his brown eyes are earnest and unassuming.

You do not know him, and he does not know you, but he still smiles. Perplexed, you awkwardly rush towards the Olin doors and push them open. Well that was weird!

Some claim he’s a social experiment, others chalk it up to Cornell’s outdoors-y student population. Unable to wonder any longer, I sat down and spoke to the man, the myth, the legend: Ethan Joseph (more commonly known as “the guy who sits on the corner of the arts quad”). Ethan, a senior Biology major, Creative Writing minor and Oakland, CA native, is thoughtful, laid-back and soft-spoken.

To my surprise, we covered a lot more ground than the quad corner. In this exclusive interview for Slope Magazine, Ethan talks image, and reveals how and why he staked claim of the infamous spot on the quad. We’ll explore what students responses (negative and positive) say about the Cornell Community in general, and, of course, the million dollar question: does he get cold?

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WHO IS

THAT GUY

ON THE

ARTS QUAD? Y: So, take me through your thought process—the origin story, if you will. When did this all start and why?

I do] feel that it’s cold out but it doesn’t bother me in the same way it seems to bother other people.

E: Well, it was [inspired by] a number of things. Freshman year I started reading outside on North Campus. I thought I was happier if I did that every day. The next year when I moved out to Collegetown, it didn’t make sense to go out to North Campus every day so I thought I had to find a new spot. I decided on the Arts Quad—I don’t remember exactly when that was. And then, at some point I realized people at Cornell are really cut off from each other, so I decided to make eye contact and smile at people as they walk past me. Those two things sort of came together.

Y: I’m a little jealous of you, I’ll never be able to bear the Ithaca winter.

So, what are the responses to your reading routine like?

Y: That’s so interesting. So let me just get the question everyone’s wondering about out of the way: What about the cold? How do you deal with the extreme weather outside?

E: It doesn’t bother me too much. I just like being outside. I’m much happier if I’m outside. Eventually I get cold, but not really in the way people are expecting.

People constantly ask me if I’m cold, [and Cornell Through Photo

E: A lot of people just ignore me most of the time. Some people smile, some wave, some even come up and talk to me. If it’s nice out they’ll come sit down with me.

Y: That’s really nice! What has been the best reaction yet?

E: I’ve met a lot of people that I wouldn’t have met otherwise, I got to talk to them quite a lot. I’ve had people think it’s the coolest thing in the world. [Laughing] People think I’m brave for doing what I’m doing.

Y: Okay, and what about negative reactions?

E: I have had people who are really upset by it. There was a post on Cornell Confessions at one point that said something like “I hate that guy who sits on the Arts Quad, he’s just doing it for

attention.” And I can’t say I don’t like the attention, it’s a part of it but that’s not the entire reason I do it. I guess I was a little – I don’t know if it’s the right word for it – disappointed. Disappointed that these were the assumptions people were making. For me, it is very important to believe that – not necessarily that people are inherently good – but [that] you should believe that there are good intentions behind what people are doing.

Y: What do you think these varied reactions say about our community? Have you learned more about Cornell from this experience?

E: I mean a little bit, people seem to be stuck in their own world and they are not used to interacting outside of that.

Y: That’s very true. And what do you think of the various images people have fabricated or created about you?

E: Well it was very strange first realizing this was the case, that somehow I was an icon and to realize that people are not seeing [me] exactly as a person. I don’t mind it most of the time; I feel like I’m doing something valuable, and people seem to appreciate it. People seem to be happy when they see me, and I think that’s important. I like seeing people happy. And since I love the outdoors, I’m much happier when I’m out there.

Y: I never thought about it like that.

Last question: Is there anything specific that you’d want people to know about what you do and why you do it? Anything you want them to take away?

E: Not really. I want people to get whatever they want out of what I’m doing. Their own interpretation. [Laughs] I think it’d be cool if people came over and talked to me, or if they did what I did [sitting and doing work on the arts quad] all the time, too.

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29

THE CONSTRUCTION

QUESTION: HOW MUCH IS

TOO MUCH? Photorealistic mock-ups of what Klarman Hall will look like.

Kate Schole

If there is one thing that students at Cornell come close to complaining more about than Ithaca’s weather, it is the omnipresent process of construction that takes over our campus.

Sending us through winding detours and changing our well-established shortcuts to class, the on-going construction never cuts us a break.

Following the addition of the Physical Sciences Building onto Baker Laboratory in 2010, the most recent developments as a part of Cornell’s so-called “master plan” to improve the physical growth of the campus include Gates Hall and the addition to Goldwin Smith on East Avenue.

Since I think we have all, at this point, belabored the controversial placement of Gates Hall next to the baseball field, I would like to instead focus my attention on the project that has anticipated the closing of East Avenue until April 19th 2015. We have all taken notice of the fenced off area around Goldwin Smith, but rarely anyone I have spoken to can articulate exactly what is being constructed. It turns out this is the new site for Klarman Hall, the first humanities building constructed at Cornell in over 100 years. Yes, you read correctly. A full century.

One would think that new additions would have been made to accommodate the 4000 students enrolled in the largest college on campus, but apparently the

QUICK

COUNTS 30

CAMPUS CULTURE

last building dedicated to the humanities was Goldwin Smith itself. Built in 1906, the youngest building to house the humanities on campus is nearly 110 years old. So while we all complain about the craziness that is Cornell construction, I think we can also all agree that this building is long overdue.

The new addition to Goldwin Smith, which will be named Klarman Hall after the leading donors Seth and Beth Klarman, is a highly complex undertaking that will cost approximately $61 million. Entirely funded through private philanthropic efforts, Klarman will open up 124 new spaces to be filled by several departments that fall under the humanities umbrella. Although the layout has yet to be solidified, the romance department will almost certainly find a new home there next spring.

Klarman, which will include various environmental sustainability features, is anticipated to receive a Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design (LEED) platinum rating, the highest it can obtain. Another notable change includes what I will temporarily refer to as Zeus 2.0. Currently nameless, an “improved”

33,250 square feet of

new space

7,700 square foot

atrium

version of the Temple of Zeus Café will be replacing the little dining alcove that is currently situated just inside the front doors of Goldwin Smith.

The most prominent change however, will be the new atmosphere on East Avenue that stems from the atrium-like construction of Klarman. In order to avoid comprising the historical integrity of its original buildings, Cornell has decided to construct the building with a focus on modern architecture. Following in the footsteps of PSB and Gates, the atrium is likely to feel especially present among the otherwise traditional buildings along the arts quad. Although the construction team has been given strict instructions to hide Klarman from view in the quad, the new addition will be sure to drastically affect the look of Cornell’s main road on central campus.

As yet another glass-roofed building is constructed, I cannot help but wonder whether Cornell’s “master plan” will continue to flood our campus with a modern feel until the pride we place on tradition becomes obsolete.

330-350

$61 million

auditorium

cost to build

seats in the

how much Klarman Hall

Photos and statistics from as.cornell.edu/Klarman-Hall

YOU ONLY MISS THE

SUN WHEN IT STARTS

TO SNOW Ashley Chacon

It has been rumored that President Skorton has a weather machine that he uses on Cornell Days and other important prospective student events. I remember coming to my own Cornell Days and thinking that this warm, sun-filled place was without a doubt the place I’d be spending the next four years. Fast forward to January 2014, I have questioned that decision multiple times.

While the weather here in Ithaca can be beautiful and the landscape astounding,

HOW TO SURVIVE AN

ITHACA WINTER

Touch-screen gloves Now you can respond to texts while walking to class without getting frostbite.

Layers Bundling up - gloves, hats, scarves, you name it - is the best way to trap heat.

Hot chocolate Everything is easier to deal with if you’re drinking hot chocolate.

Photos by Heather-Ashley Boyer

students are only able to enjoy these benefits for a short few months. All this disappears in the months of November through March, the days dramatically shorter getting depressingly dark at as early as four and the temperature falling below zero for weeks on end.

Students on campus have come to expect this erratic weather pattern, and Richalice Melende ’17 concisely stated the typical student opinion on the weather: “The weather at Cornell is unpredictable and unpleasant most of the year.”

During the winter months, Cornell experiences not only freezing temperatures, but an abundance of precipitation that can take on the form of snow, sleet, hail and a combination of all three that has been popularized by some students as “Ithacation.”

Along with ice and slush come the inevitable, horrible and embarrassing experiences that come with traversing campus in these conditions. It has become a rite of passage of sorts to have a story involving the weather before graduating.

“I was walking down the slope to West on an icy day and I fell and didn’t think it was that bad since I was numb. But when I started to thaw, I saw I scraped my knee very badly,” said Kaleigh Anderson ’17.

“I was walking out of lecture on the back stairs of Baker, and my shoes were wet and I fell on my butt down three stairs,” recalled Melendez ’17.

So what can you do to prepare for the extreme weather? Dress the part. Having a good pair of snow boots and a heavy winter coat are key to surviving Ithaca’s winter.

What are some words of advice students have for the next incoming class to help them survive the weather in Ithaca?

“Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst,” advises Melendez.

“Buy rain boots. They are the best investment you can make. And always check the weather before class,” added Annie Chau ’16.

The crazy weather has helped us to bond over stories of nearly frostbitten fingers, and completely soaked toes. Yet despite the harshness of the winters here in Ithaca, most of us can agree that we wouldn’t change our experiences, our friends, our numb backsides or our salt stained shoes for anything.

CAMPUS CULTURE

31

OPERATION COLLEGE: LIFE AS A VETERAN AT CORNELL

Aimee Cho

In a lot of ways, Seamus Murphy is your typical Cornell sophomore. He enjoys hiking the gorges, hanging out at Cass Park and working out at Helen Newman.

In his free time he binge-watches Netflix and plays pick-up games of lacrosse.

However, there are two big differences between him and his peers: he is 28 years old, and he has served in the United States Army for six years, two of which were in Iraq.

Murphy enlisted in the Army right after graduating high school in 2005, a time when around 100 U.S. troops were dying in Iraq each month and the military was in desperate need of more enlistees.

Joining was easy. Murphy talked to a recruiter, who asked him how soon he could begin. Murphy responded, “As soon as possible,” and two weeks later he was

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on a plane to Fort Benning, Georgia to begin his training.

What followed were six years that Murphy describes as a “purgatory that combined times of intense camaraderie, soul-sucking boredom and bursts of adrenaline, anger, fear, rage, exultation and relief – both the best of times and the worst of times.”

This is the story of those six years, the aftermath and what it’s like to be a veteran student at Cornell.

Culture shock Arriving at basic training was a “culture shock,” Murphy said.

“You go from being a rebellious teenager doing what you want when you want, to being told what to wear, when to wear it and how you’re going to do everything,” he said. “You’re held to a higher standard.

As an individual, you represent the entire military, instead of just yourself.”

The first part of his training involved basic skills: marching, military courtesies, cardio training and weaponry. Then came two months of learning common soldier tasks and battle drills.

“You want to get to the point where it’s muscle memory, so that when you take contact, you know what to do,” Murphy said. “It’s something like running plays with a lacrosse team, but the consequences of running the play correctly will have life and death consequences.”

In January 2007, after 13 months of training, Murphy shipped out to Iraq. He was stationed in south central Ramadi, a downtown area he described as “the most dangerous city in the world at the time.”

“We couldn’t go out during the day.

We only did missions during the night Seamus Murphy

because of the threats of snipers in our area of operations,” he said.

In Ramadi, Murphy lived at a base with 100 other soldiers. Because the base had no running water or toilets, the men had to burn all of their excrement and garbage, which caused breathing issues for some of the soldiers. To take showers, they had to go outside to a shed and pour water bottles on themselves.

The base also had limited electricity.

It was powered by a generator that was strong enough to run either the air conditioner or the electricity, but not both at the same time.

“At our combat outpost, where the heat often went up to 120 degrees, we had to choose between having light and being able to communicate with friends and family, or having air conditioning,” Murphy said.

Seeing combat Murphy’s unit of soldiers had two main missions: to drive Al-Qaeda out of the area, and to help train the local Iraqi police force to better defend against insurgents. The soldiers’ days were unpredictable, meaning that they could never let their guards down.

“You could go days without anything happening, and then within two hours you could have a vehicle on patrol hit with an IED [Improvised Explosive Device] and an infantry squad ambushed,” Murphy said.

The soldiers often conducted stakeouts from local Iraqis’ houses, so they could determine whether insurgents were in the area. The soldiers also spent time interacting with the Iraqi citizens and giving out food in order to build trust and gain support for their partnership with the local police force.

Murphy still remembers vividly the first time he was shot at. His unit was holding a stakeout at a local house, when their cover was blown and insurgents suddenly began shooting at them and throwing grenades from buildings across the street. The company commander tried to distract the insurgents by flying a plane overhead and popping flares, but when that didn’t work, Murphy and his unit were forced to confront the insurgents directly in a shoot-out.

Murphy described his reaction to his first battle as an “odd feeling.”

“You wish it never happened, but CAMPUS CULTURE

33

Seamus Murphy ’16 spends time with Iraqi children while serving in the army.

you’re happy you’re still around,” he said. “War brings out the best and worst in human society, and it’s blended together in one horrible medley.”

Best friends For Murphy, his fellow soldiers were “the only thing” that got him through each day.

“The people by your side are your best friends – those are the people you’re there for, and that’s why you wake up in the morning,” he said. “You get your equipment kit on because you don’t want to let down the guy to your right or left.

They’re counting on you.”

Murphy said that two people from his company were killed in action. One of those was one of his best friends, Daniel Cagle, who died during an insurgent suicide bombing just three days after turning 22.

“Daniel and I joined [the Army] almost the same day. We went to training together, we were stationed together and we hung out all the time. Now I’m still here, but he’s not anymore. There’s definitely some survivor’s guilt,” Murphy said. “It’s horrible.

You want revenge, but you can’t have it.”

Life after Iraq Murphy served a total of 27 months in Iraq, spread out over two deployments.

Returning home was initially a “euphoric” experience for him, but he said that after the initial happiness wore off he had some behavioral health difficulties.

“I sought counseling so I could talk with someone about the things that had happened, essentially to see if I had gone crazy,” Murphy said.

He said he feels that a lot of people have a “negative stereotype” associated with veterans.

“People think that we all have PTSD

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[Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder], that we’re crazy and that we shouldn’t be allowed to own firearms. But really, we’re productive members of society who have just gone through a traumatic injury,” he said. “If someone was in a car accident and saw their friend killed, they’d probably have trouble driving. What we’re going through is something like that, but we had to maintain discipline in a war zone and not truly process our grief at the time. We’re just trying to recover and move on with our lives.”

The Cornell veteran experience Murphy said that coming to Cornell as a 28-year-old undergraduate has been difficult.

“I’m a decade older than my peers.

Educationally, we’re on the same level.

But life-wise, we’re at radically different places. It’s sometimes socially awkward when people find out my age and ask what I was doing the last ten years,” he said.

In addition, Murphy said he feels Cornell does not do enough to support undergraduate veterans, a sentiment echoed by many others on campus.

According to its website, Cornell has several veterans’ organizations (see sidebar) but no organization specifically for undergraduate veterans.

“THERE’S DEFINITELY SOME

SURVIVOR’S GUILT.

IT’S HORRIBLE.

YOU WANT REVENGE,

BUT YOU CAN’T

HAVE IT”

Graduate student Jared Woodrey, president of the Johnson Association of Veterans, estimated that in addition to 30 Johnson School veterans, there are about 50 undergraduate veterans at Cornell, and that they are the largest contingent of student veterans on campus.

“The largest population of veterans is [also the] most under-served. There is little to no outreach to the undergraduate veteran population,” Woodrey said. “One of the biggest holes that I’d like to fill in the next year is to start an undergraduate organization. The Johnson Association can serve in a mentorship role to that group.”

Woodrey pointed out that the transition to college life can be a lot more drastic for undergraduates. A majority of them joined the military out of high school, while many graduate students attended college before joining the military.

Murphy has also been trying to start an organization for undergraduate veterans, so that they can have “a room to call their own.”

“The [military] is the biggest fraternity in the country, and it’s a great social network. We all have something in common, and it would be a good way to make friends. We’re missing out on opportunities like networking and finding scholarships,” he said.

Murphy mentioned that starting such an organization has proven difficult because he is unable to access undergraduate veterans’ contact information.

“The school has compiled how many people are veterans, but because of privacy issues, they can’t give out those email addresses, even to a faculty member,” Murphy said. “And it wouldn’t exactly be worth it for me to do chalkings or go to Ho Plaza with quarter cards.”

Graduate student Kamillah Knight, who works for the Office of Academic Diversity Initiatives, has been helping Murphy in his efforts to create an organization.

“What I want to see happen is a sense of a community, because [the students] are going through a lot more different things than what the ‘normal student’ is going through,” she said.

In addition to pushing for an undergraduate veterans organization, Murphy said he also wishes that Cornell would hire a full-time veteran’s affairs (VA) representative.

Seamus Murphy

“Having a full-time counselor here would help [us] learn more about scholarships, how to use our benefits efficiently and help find internships with companies looking to employ veterans,” Murphy said.

Currently, New York State veteran counselor Kevin Justian is on campus one day a week, although Justian said that number will soon be increased to two.

“My main responsibility is to counsel veterans regarding benefits. I help clients file claims for injuries suffered while they were on active duty, education benefits and health care eligibility,” he said. “I also work with Cornell staff members to enhance veteran programs.”

According to Justian, “very few” universities even have a VA representative on campus at least one day a week.

However, he said, universities such as Syracuse University that have a fulltime veteran’s office staffed by university employees have a “tremendous” impact.

“It seems to really help the student veterans striving to transition back to civilian life. [At Cornell,] a campus resource center for veterans would be best and the optimal situation would include staffing by Cornell,” Justian said.

CORNELL VETERAN’S ORGANIZATIONS Veteran’s Colleague Network Group For: Cornell faculty and staff Purpose: Networking Contact: veterans@cornell.edu Johnson Association of Veterans For: Johnson School students Purpose: Networking and mentoring Contact: Jared Woodrey (jsw333) Team Red, White and Blue For: Anyone in Ithaca with an interest in veteran’s affairs Purpose: Exercising Contact: Jase Baese (jbb23) Nontraditional Student Organization For: Nontraditional students Purpose: Networking Contact: Susan Porter (smp328)

“A solid and responsive network” Aside from the lack of an undergraduate veterans organization and a full-time veteran’s office, many people agree that Cornell overall has a supportive environment for veterans.

Cassandra Joseph, Director of Diversity Engagement for Human Resources, said that Cornell has implemented several “military-friendly practices to attract and support veteran [employees],” such as creating a military listserv and website, offering family care services and providing training on translating military skills to civilian positions.

“Cornell University was recognized by the Families and Work Institute for excellence in veteran support for our workforce,” Joseph said.

Emily Franco, co-chair of the 30-member Veterans Colleague Network Group for faculty and staff, said that Cornell has shown a “strong affinity for veterans.”

“Cornell provides tremendous support for veterans, from education benefits to mental health assistance to flexible hours,” Franco said.

Franco said that some of her group’s accomplishments so far include hosting networking events and establishing websites about military resources on campus. In the future, the VCNG hopes to develop a permanent staff position at Cornell for veteran’s issues and honor student veterans with cords at graduation.

Franco said she feels that a “solid and responsive network for any veteran” is necessary for a truly inclusive community.

“We are just now seeing the veteran students begin to emerge as an independent demographic and Cornell is moving in the right direction to support that group,” she said.

Knight agreed, adding that the university can only fix the issues of which it is aware.

“I do think that Cornell wants to support all the students as much as they possibly can. It’s just a matter of knowing how and knowing that this is an issue that needs to be addressed,” Knight said. “I just don’t think that they realize that it’s as much of a necessity as it is.”

Looking ahead Murphy is majoring in international

“THE LARGEST POPULATION

OF VETERANS IS ALSO THE MOST

UNDER-SERVED. THERE IS LITTLE TO NO

OUTREACH TO UNDERGRADUATE VETERANS”

agriculture and rural development in CALS, taking classes such as International Development and Microeconomics. After graduation he plans on working for an agriculture business such as Monsanto and helping develop new markets for their products.

His ultimate dream, inspired by his time in the military, is to go into micro financing for small agriculture businesses in post-conflict rural areas.

“I’ve noticed that in post-conflict areas, people are sick and tired of being sick and tired. They’re working hard and they’re not given a chance to succeed. I want to help them,” Murphy said. “I could see myself living overseas in a developing nation, doing aid work.”

For now, he is taking things one day at a time and focusing on his grades. He said that coming back to school after being in the military has been hard.

“The military was very hands-on, and we had individualized training. Each mentor only taught about four people, so we had constant guidance,” he said.

“Whereas in college, there’s a lot more emphasis on independence.”

Murphy is still recovering from a recent shoulder surgery, which he needed after he dislocated his shoulder doing grabbling (ground fighting) training at the base in Georgia. He has been unable to play recreational sports for now, but next year he hopes to try out for Cornell’s club lacrosse team.

He said that his biggest goals for his remaining two years at Cornell are to expand his views, learn from other people and gain different perspectives.

“I find it amazing that I’m a decade older and most of the younger people have their lives more together. It’s really impressive. It took me a while to get my [life] together,” he said.

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RUSHING

LGBTQ Lindsay Wershaw

The LGBT Ally Ambassador Program was first established in Spring 2013, with the collaboration of Haven, Student Assembly, and the Greek Tri-Council. The event was started to put an end to the several hate-crime incidences, and serves as a resource not only to help LGBTQ individuals within the Greek community, but also raise awareness about our heteronormative society.

Each member of the Panhellenic Council, Interfraternity Council, and the Multicultural Greek Letter Council are required to have one ambassador as the LGBTQ ally for their individual chapter.

Ambassadors are required to attend one mandatory training session and attend one Haven or co-sponsored Haven event.

The obligations of the individual ally are to work within their house, and promote LGBTQ issues and events that are occurring on campus. The individual ally is the most supportive friend to the LGBTQ community,

JEVAN HUTSON LGBTQ Liaison at Large

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if a member of the house is questioning his or her identity, they can reach to the ally for support and educational resources.

How does one become an ally? For starters, according to Jevan Hutson’16, “allies don’t have to be the only people to bring up facilitation around LGBTQ issues—we can all stand up for the LGBTQ community.” Hutson continued, “ambassadors are encourage to bring in Peer Educators of Gender and Sexuality (PEGS) panels to their chapters because everyone should learn more about queer terminology and queer logo, such as what concepts mean and what type of language is not appropriate to say.”

The LGBTQ Ally Ambassador program is extremely special to Cornell’s campus.

The program is led by Mo’15, the Haven executive council and the co-facilitator of the LGBTQ Ally Ambassador Program, and Jevan Hutson’16, the other co-facilitator and current LGBTQ Representative for the Student Assembly. The event runs for approximately two hours in the Garden Room at Willard Straight Hall, where each ally from all of the Greek chapters are introduced to one another and welcome each other through ice breakers. According to Mo’15, “the goal for this program is to provide a safe space for LGBTQ individuals in the Greek system by having representatives serve as a resource for the LGBTQ community and be able to raise awareness about issues that face LGBTQ individuals in Greek life.” Rachel Sullivan’16, an ally for her chapter Pi Beta Phi, found the program particularly thought provoking, “when we first got there, we were immediately introduced to new terms most of us have never learned

or heard before and everyone went around stating their gender pronouns, which I thought was really cool!”

There are clear obstacles that the Greek community needs to overcome.

Mo’15 expressed further concern when discussing the whole rush process in particular when it comes to the LGBTQ community. “The ambassador program helps people to demolish misconceptions within the Greek community and hopefully create a more open and dynamic space within the Greek community for LGBTQ individuals to feel more comfortable rushing.” Additionally, the “mixer” scene causes problems as well. “The focus is to shed light on our heteronormative culture, specifically with mixers, which manifests itself by making others feel excluded from the system,” Hutson’16 argued. However, “we have to realize and understand the environment that we are in and not try to undermine the way Greek chapters socialize, but bring awareness to how the system does exclude certain people,” Hutson’16 noted. Sullivan’16 added, “instead of asking girls about what guy they are bringing to formal, we should ask which or what date they are bringing instead assuming.”

For the future, the LGBTQ Ally Ambassador Program will expand and potentially improve rush week by trying to encourage their brothers and sisters to be supportive to each individual.

Sullivan’16 agrees, “gender identity and gender expression is a really hard practice to do during rush because it is such an alienating process. Maybe one day we can eliminate the dress code completely for girls or at the very least, eliminate the rule regarding no conversation about boys.

How about we just don’t talk about sex in general?” As part of the Greek community, we should all be allies, officially or not, and accept all identities and understand and embrace one another for our differences.

Hutson’16 noted, “It’s imperative that we watch language use and remove bias language, to make our community as inclusive as possible.” We are all human beings trying to find acceptance in this world. The LGBTQ Ally Ambassador Program is a harbinger for a better, safer and more understanding Greek community at Cornell.

Haven

THE NEW HOUSE

ON CAMPUS:

PHI MU Esther Han

Every January, hundreds of girls register to go through recruitment in hopes of receiving a bid at one of Cornell University’s twelve sororities. This year, a record number of 873 girls geared up for days of lining up alphabetically outside houses, dressed in their best. Girls ran around all over campus in the freezing cold in sweatpants and Uggs, frantically changing into heels in front of houses, hoping they wouldn’t trip and fall on black ice. Unfortunately, even after all this effort, only 676 girls received bids.

Here is where Phi Mu Sorority comes in. In April 2013, the Cornell Panhellenic Association voted to invite sororities to apply to potentially colonize at Cornell University. After much deliberation, Phi Mu was chosen to be Cornell’s 13th sorority. Phi Mu is the second oldest sorority in the nation and self-identifies as “vibrant”. With their mission to “provide personal and

academic development, service to others, commitment to excellence and lifelong friendship through shared tradition,” Panhellenic decided that Phi Mu would make an excellent addition to the existing sororities. “We are definitely taking a step in the right direction. This will hopefully allow women to have a chance to join a sorority where they feel comfortable and can call home,” says Kendall Grant ’16, the Panhellenic delegate for Phi Sigma Sigma.

On campus, news of a new sorority seems to be welcomed warmly.

“With sorority pledge classes almost being the size of an entire fraternity, the colonization of Phi Mu will hopefully help decrease the size of pledge classes, which helps develop an even stronger sisterhood,” says Mary Lopez ’14, a member of Phi Sigma Sigma. In terms of numbers, there are also currently twelve sororities versus almost forty fraternities—a disparity that will also be addressed with the inclusion of Phi Mu.

Obviously the supply of sororities does not meet the demand from women going through recruitment. With the addition of Phi Mu, the Greek community will be able to open its doors to more eager, enthusiastic women hoping to get more involved on campus. As part of a founding class, women have the opportunity to influence the character of the chapter, which is an exciting prospect.

However, it is estimated that Phi Mu will only be accepting a certain number of women as part of their founding class.

This number, perhaps a smaller number than an entire sorority, may not be able to account for the all the women who go through recruitment in hopes of a chance of receiving a bid. Next year, Panhellenic estimates that about 1000 women will go through recruitment. The addition of Phi Mu will definitely not solve the numbers problem immediately, but as it may as the chapter begins to grow.

HOW TO PARTY AT CORNELL Amanda Loesch

11:00 am: “Darty” time (weather permitting)! Don’t have to ask me twice if I’ll be hitting a day-rager in collegetown or the lib on a bright and sunny (or any temperature above 32 degrees works... snow or no snow) Saturday afternoon 5:00 pm: Just woke up from a nap after that killer darty...but now I cannot even move from my bed. The question of “should I go out tonight” doesn’t even cross my mind. This should never be asked because the answer is always yesc’mon now people our time here is limited!

7:00 pm: The struggle to find that nonexistent balance between that hot Phi Mu

party outfit and the one that keeps you warm begins. Nine times out of ten an ugly, but warm, getup is chosen.

8:00 pm: Finally have my outfit all picked out...that is besides the shoes.

Let me give you a tip ladies, there is no reason to ever wear heels (Unless you are attending a formal or date night). Besides the fact that you’ll be taller than half the male population at Cornell, there is a 99% chance you will eat shit on one of the many hills of Cornell’s campus.

8:30 pm: Gather that group of go-to people you can always rely on to keep you safe and ensure a good time. Some characteristics may include: fun, energetic, happy, DTR (down to rage).

9:00 pm: Pick an option: Spend $9.99 on a “fracket” (a frat jacket) at Walmart or suffer from hypothermia and/or frostbite.

10:00pm: Time to decide what to do: we all know Fishbowls at Level B are so not worth waiting in the line that curves around the block, and we all know there is a 100% chance those who are 21 will get their IDs taken away at Ruloffs. Loco it is (who doesn’t like a good karaoke night, am I right?)

12:15 am: Pix O’Clock! Head over to Pixel, but not before 12:15 a.m. Trust me you will regret it.

1:15 am: Time to end the night at CTP but enter with caution or be prepared to lose a limb in the pizza line.

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WHICH FAMOUS

1.

CORNELLIAN

A. Olin Library B. Africana Library C. Law Library D. Uris Library E. Mann Library F. Catherwood Library

SHOULD YOU GET

DRUNK WITH? Nothing about this is ambiguous.

Dani Kellner

5.

Pick a thing from “161 Things” A. #120: Meet Bill Nye ‘77, “The Science Guy,” and give him a hug B. #41: Shop at the Friends of the Library Book Sale C. #42: Get out of a University parking ticket D. #97: Sell back your books; use $$$ to buy alcohol E. #19: Milk a cow F. #127: Get tapped for a secret society

Mostly

A’s

Mostly

D’s 38

4.

Sunday brunch?

A. RPCC B. Stella’s C. CTB D. Carriage House E. Moosewood F. Simeon’s

6.

3.

Pick a library

Pick your poison

A. Chocolate Milk B. Red Wine C. Vodka Cranberry D. Scotch and Soda E. Protein Shake F. Dry Martini

2.

Pick a dorm

A. Ecology House B. Ujama C. Balch Hall D. Donlon Hall E. Risley Hall F. Mews Hall

Pick an inspirational Denice Cassaro quote

A. “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”

-Albert Einstein B. “Never limit yourself because of others’ limited imagination; never limit others because of your own limited imagination.” -Mae Jemison C. “It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize,

accept, and celebrate those differences.” -Audre Lorde D. “In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” -Albert Camus E. “Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.” -Zig Ziglar F. “Shout Out Time! Share the Love!!!!”

-Denice Cassaro

Bill Nye the Science Guy ‘77

Nobel Prize Laureate Toni Morrison ‘55

Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg ‘54

Remember to keep your vodka shots away from your bunsen burners! Please, I beg of you, just try to not blow up Collegetown doing your drunk science experiments.

Passionately discuss symbolism and motifs and Sula. If you get along real well, maybe you can convince her to drunk call Oprah!

You really understand the constitutional meaning of “life, liberty, and the pursuit of drunkenness.” Ruthie will get you out of any and all J.A.’s you may incur. Take that, CUPD!

Kurt Vonnegut (undergraduate ‘41’44), author Vonnegut once called Cornell a “boozy dream.”

You couldn’t agree more.

Now get out of here and go drunk-write the next, great American novel!

HUMOR

Mostly

B’s

Mostly

E’s

Mostly

C’s

Robert Atkins ‘55, created the Atkins Diet Drunk eating a pizza bagel from CTB isn’t even an option for you, And you Mostly wouldn’t even think about riding the Drunk TCAT home, because you have to burn off all the Keystone Light calories, even if it is -7°.

F’s

Chuck Feeney ‘56, billionaire philanthropist and co-founder of the Duty Free Shoppers Group Get Mr. Feeney drunk; convince him to donate a building named after you. Together you’ll laugh and laugh about how hilarious it is that “Duty Free Shops” has the word “doody” in it.

“Did you really just ask that?”

BIG RED

SMALL TALK

Jessica Sion

I think I’ve always been somewhat predisposed to the micro-social critique we call people-watching. Admittedly, there is a fine line between the academic curiosity of a Sociology major and the cynical amusement of a social introvert.

Although I desperately avoid any and all social interactions, I will shamelessly watch and judge as others go through the wearisome ritual our society endearingly refers to as “small talk.”

In sociology, small talk is described to be “phatic communication,” or meant to serve a social purpose. Rather than communicating functional matters, it defines and structures relationships between individuals. Small talk is, by definition, empty of substance. At the same time, it is the glue of our society – and, accordingly, our smaller Cornell community.

As much as I dislike the artificial nature of such informal communication, I’ll be the first to admit I’ve incorporated each and every one of the following points into conversation. Here are a couple of openers you will most likely overhear around campus:

“How are your prelims going?”

Will almost always be met with “ugh, stressful” and followed by a passive aggressive comparison of prelim schedules.

“It’s so cold!”

Ah, yes: the weather-oriented remark, most commonly heard between December and April. This is one conversation-starter most Ithacans know

to keep in their repertoire for awkward Libe Cafe run-ins.

Variations include: “It was so warm yesterday, how can it be snowing?” and the notoriously mundane “Nice weather we’re having!”

“Are you going to Ke$ha?”

This question is applicable to any exciting performer coming to campus.

If the answer is yes, people typically discuss music preference and outfit ideas. If the answer is no, prepare to offer your sympathy (but not your ticket) or segway smoothly into talk of conflicting prelims…

“Are you excited for Ludacris?”

“Did you really just ask that” Let’s get this out of the way right now: come May 8th, half of us won’t make it to the slope and the other half will leave before the main performer goes on. Anyone still around will be taking pictures in their matching, custom pinnies, or hopelessly searching the masses for lost friends. Slope Day is a day of liberation, a celebration of summer and warm weather; it marks the end of our stress and the beginning of freedom.

The concert itself is irrelevant – yet in the two months leading up to Slope Day, it suddenly becomes the be-all and end-all of our existence. Talk of the performer instantly replaces comments about the cold weather once temperatures inevitably rise.

“Did you do the readings for class yet?”

a class together and that is our only commonality. As such, you see me and feel an immediate, instinctive urge to ask a question about class material – a question we both know is trivial, unnecessary, and only reminds me of all the work I still have to do. So please don’t ask. We can talk about Slope Day instead.

Variations include: “Have you started writing the paper yet?” and “Have you started studying for the prelim yet?”

Of course, this list goes on to include certain quintessential social staples such as, “Are you going home for Thanksgiving?” and “How was your winter break?” Around this time of year, most incorporate the standard, “How was your PreEnroll?”

What I find both interesting and disturbing is the simulated, predetermined flow of conversation we all seem to have memorized. On campus, we feign interest and enthusiasm, asking, “how are you?” not because we’re curious, but because it’s a socially accepted greeting. As students, since we are living in a fast-paced lifestyle we become so indifferent, and insincere that informative replies are both excessive and unwelcome. Conversations have become one-sided and responses are eerily automatic. There is an overwhelming lack of genuine interest. Small talk is meant to be insubstantial – but not all conversation has to be small talk. I hope one day we’ll learn to shed the social convention, challenging each other to have meaningful, substantial “big” talk, instead.

Here is the situation: we are acquaintances that happen to be in HUMOR

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